q u e b e c
OPERATION: LOVE
Youngjae was going to ignore it, but the burning feeling still lingers upon his hand. The hand that slapped Jaebum. As his legs carried him further away from the place he currently loathes, Youngjae wasn’t planning on stopping these spilling tears. Apparently, hurting Jaebum also hurts him. Youngjae didn’t mean to get physical, but when he saw Jaebum standing there, a sudden rush of adrenaline provoked him to let his hand slide across that deserving cheek. The doctor only realized what he’d done after it had already happened. Everything was moving too fast.
“YOUNGJAE!”
Doctor Choi halted at the familiar voice. He didn’t turn around.
Mark came to a stopping point as soon as he reached a couple of feet from Youngjae. The agent spent a decent amount of time staring at the doctor’s back and his slumping shoulders. Then, Mark said, in a calming voice, “it’s not what you think, Youngjae-ah. So you know about Jaebum’s mission, but there’s really more into it. Sure, Jaebum was just taking up every opportunity he has to be close to you for the sake of his assignment. Sure, it was a completely irrational and stupid idea to use the ‘boyfriend’ card as a way to get close to you. Sure, Jaebum had lied and hurt you because of that. But Youngjae, along the way, he learns to love. He learns that he needs you. Don’t let anger have the best of you, Youngjae-ah. I know you’re better than that.”
A silence enveloped the atmosphere, however, it only encouraged Mark to continue, “believe me when I say Jaebum loves you, because I’m his best friend since we were babies, and if anyone was to understand Jaebum, it would only be me. Please, Youngjae. Jaebum went as far as releasing troops without permission and probably is going to get badly punish for it. Yet, he did it all because he worries and cares about you. He went as far as disregarding the whole entire mission because the only thing he wants to do is to pursue you and make you fall for him, earnestly. I know it hurts, I know. But give him a chance, please? Give him a chance to fix this.”
Youngjae, finally, turned around, facing Mark with cheeks stained of tears and lips quivering through the pain he’s feeling in his heart, “how many more chances can I give, Mark-hyung? There’s so much I can take. And this isn’t it. You know my ty- life, so why are you standing there trying to buy chances for your best friend? No need to fix; because there’s nothing to fix.”
“Youngjae-“
“I thought this was my chance,” Youngjae swallowed down the uncomfortable lump that’s forming in his throat. “I thought I could finally allow myself to take a step forward. I thought I could open up to a new chapter of my goddamned life. But no, it’s all a lie. That’s okay, I don’t entirely blame him. He’s just doing his job. Nothing is harmful about that, right? I’m just mad at myself for being so easy. For being so blind and stupid. But God, how can I not when Im Jaebum has been nothing but sweet and kind to me! It’s not fair that I have to go through this. I won’t accept it. And I’m not giving anyone anymore chances that they don’t deserve. Besides, I don’t deserve anyways.”
Mark clenched his fists painfully. He isn’t taking today. “Goddamn it, Youngjae. Fine. Look at me in the eyes and tell me you don’t love Im Jaebum,” Mark challenged.
Youngjae’s eyebrows furrowed in bewilderedness at Mark’s harsh demand. They both know Youngjae can’t do it, because Youngjae loves Jaebum.
The doctor lowered his head and avoided the husband of his best friend’s dominating gaze. Youngjae visibly gulped softly. Of course, it didn’t go unnoticed by Mark. The agent stepped closer to the doctor.
“Think about it. You have every rights to be angry, but please, do think about it,” Mark said as he placed both of his hands on Youngjae’s shoulders. “He needs you. And you need him, too.”
All Youngjae wanted to do was to fall in a deep sleep and never wake up again. He’d wished that Jackson had came a step too late, so Youngjae wouldn’t have to deal with this right now.
*
*
*
Sana clutched her clipboard close to her chest as she nervously observes her favorite doctor friend. The nurse wasn’t the only one who noticed the changes in Doctor Choi. The whole hospital was gossiping about it; there’s rumors floating around that the doctor had got dumped or the “goals” couple of the hospital split ways over something huge like one of them cheated on the other. Sana didn’t want to bring it up or puts pressure on it. Clearly, Youngjae is upset.
Clearing , Sana spoke, “Youngjae.”
No response.
“Youngjae?” Sana tried again.
Still no response.
“Yah! Choi Youngjae!” Sana shouted.
The loud call jolted the doctor’s nerves. Youngjae looked up from the pile of papers he was filling out. His eyes leering under his long dark fringe. “What is it?” Youngjae asked.
“What do you mean what is it?? I’ve been trying to get your attention. Jeez, what is wrong with you?”
Youngjae sighed, “sorry, I didn’t hear.”
The nurse let out a defeated sigh as she took a seat. Setting her clipboard on top of the coffee table in Youngjae’s office, Sana allowed her concerned eyes to scan over her friend’s face. “You’ve gotten a lot skinnier. Have you not been eating well?”
“No, I guess,” was the reply.
Of course, neither Jinyoung or Jaebum stopped by to eat with Youngjae anymore.
“Youngjae, I’m worry about you,” Sana said, “these past three weeks you’ve been… I don’t know… Just… What the hell happened? I really don’t want to jump into conclusions. Where’s Jinyoung? Where’s Jaebum?”
Sana didn’t miss the way Youngjae’s shoulders tensed up and hands unconsciously gripping tightly onto the frail paper when she had mentioned the name of a very special Captain.
“Something happened that is none of your business,” Youngjae harshly deadpanned, “so don’t worry about it. I’m fine.”
“Liar,” Sana whispered.
Youngjae sighed, again, “Sana, if there’s nothing important, then you can see your way out. I’m really tired right now.”
To this, Sana exploded, unable to hold in her frustration, “well, then, I’m tired, too! I’m tired of you acting like this! I’m tired of you thinking you can shoulders all the burdens by yourself when there’s people who are willing to help you! Why are you being so selfish? Look, I don’t know what the is going on, but I just want to help, and you’re doing nothing but pushing me away, pushing EVERYONE away! Let me share your weight, Youngjae! Don’t punish yourself like this. You don’t deserve it. NOBODY DOES. If you don’t want to talk about it, FINE, but I don’t want you to shut yourself in and giving everyone the cold shoulders. People are actually concern, so excuse you!”
Sana’s usual cheerful face morphed into a mixture of disappointment and anger. She can’t believe Youngjae would do himself like this. She disagrees with the way Youngjae is treating the world like it had pour lava down his throat. Okay, maybe it had, but there are other parts of the world that’s welcoming him despite his pained and darkened heart. So, it doesn’t give Youngjae the right to disregard warmth and gentleness.
“Thank you for worrying, Sana, I really appreciate it,” Youngjae said after a moment of silence, his eyes were soft and kind, “I know everyone wants to help, but, please, I just need time for myself. This isn’t something that can be helped with. It’s a lot more complicated than that.”
Sana walked over to Youngjae’s desk and placed her small hand on top of his much larger one. She gave his hand a comforting squeeze, “I’m here, just so you know.”
Youngjae smiled weakly, “I know, thank you.”
With a returning soft smile, Sana removed her hand and walked back to the coffee table to pick up her clipboard, she informed her doctor, “your patient will be coming in here soon. Better get yourself ready, Doctor Choi.”
“I will,” Youngjae said.
*
*
*
For the past three weeks, there hasn’t been a day that Jinyoung had not beat himself up mentally over his best friend. Youngjae and him haven’t talked for three weeks. Youngjae and him haven’t even seen each other for three weeks. Jinyoung know how much Youngjae had wanted to be alone, so the agent didn’t dare to call or show up at the hospital. But that doesn’t mean that Jinyoung was proud of what he did. He was a part of it. He was a part of the lie. He couldn’t possibly face Youngjae at the moment. And Youngjae wouldn’t want to see him anyways. Youngjae didn’t want to see anyone but Mark.
Mark.
Of all people. Jinyoung was surprised that Youngjae allowed Mark to talk to him sometimes. Mark would call Youngjae every other day to check up on him. And that act alone couldn’t help but make Jinyoung burns with envy. Why Mark? And not him? Isn’t he Youngjae’s best friend? Mark doesn’t even know Youngjae like Jinyoung knows Youngjae. What’s even more unsettling is that Mark was also in on the lie. Hell, Mark was a big part of it. Yet, Youngjae seems to forgives no one but Mark.
But then again, Jinyoung can’t entirely blame Youngjae. It’s hard to stay angry at Mark.
“You’re still here?” A raspy, tired, lack-of-sleep, voice interrupted Jinyoung’s quiet personal agony.
Jinyoung’s eyes stopped staring out the division’s meeting room’s walled-windows and concentrated on the owner of that broken voice. “Jaebum,” the Vice Captain sighed.
Jaebum pursed his lips into a thin line, “how’re you doing, Jinyoung.”
“ty,” Jinyoung smiled weakly, ran out of energy to even sit himself down.
“Same,” it was Jaebum’s turn to sigh. “I miss him.”
Jinyoung scoffed, “don’t think you’re the only one. But guess what, he likes Mark now, so we’re unimportant.”
“What?” Jaebum’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “What are you talking about? He likes Mark? And you’re okay with that?”
“Oh, look at you, getting jealous so effortlessly,” Jinyoung teased dryly. Jaebum looked away, not even denying it. The Vice Captain shook his head, “I didn’t mean it like that. And what do you think? Of course I wouldn’t be fine with that! I don’t give a flying who it is, but the concrete fact that MARK IS MINE will always be a warning to stay the away from my husband.”
Rolling his eyes, Jaebum scoffed, “watch yourself, Jinyoung-ah, your bratty self is showing. Mark wouldn’t like that.”
Pouting, Jinyoung said, “whatever, he saids he loves me for who I am,” blushing, Jinyoung said, “he saids he loves me no matter what,” smiling cutely by himself, Jinyoung said, “he saids I’ll always be his lovely prince.”
“What the actual ….” Jaebum looked at Jinyoung with much disgust, openly judging at whatever cheesy that just danced its way out of his, strong, scary-, Vice Captain’s mouth. “I mean I know Mark is very flirtatious, but really? Prince?”
“Shut up, Jaebum. You’re just salty because you don’t got anyone for you to call prince,” Jinyoung rolled his eyes, done with Jaebum’s ridiculous jealousy of his and Mark’s beautiful marriagehood.
“I would if it weren’t for that bastard’s petty mouth,” Jaebum groaned. “And I’ll probably have someone to cuddle and cook for, too.”
“Yeah, and I’ll probably still have someone to visit every lunch break.”
They both sighed heavily as each one individually replayed all the memories they personally shared with Youngjae. That innocent and bright smile of that doctor branded painfully within their heads. They both ed up.
“I can’t do this,” Jaebum broke the silence. “I can’t just sit here and let him slip away from my grasp. He has to know that my feelings are honest.”
Looking up at his Captain with alerted eyes, Jinyoung quickly open his mouth, “no, no, no, Jaebum, please, don’t do anything stupid.”
“I’m not, but I can’t just not do anything!” Jaebum ran his hand through his hair. “These past weeks had been a pain, all right? , my cheek still stings like crazy because of that slap. I’ve been thinking. I can fix this. I can prove it to him. I love him too much to let him go, Jinyoung-ah. So I’ve decided to win him back.”
Jinyoung was speechless for a couple of seconds or so. He just couldn’t take in the Jaebum that’s standing in front of his very own eyes. This Im Jaebum is completely different from the one Jinyoung had been working with. This Im Jaebum can love like crazy. It’s a bit terrifying, but Jinyoung was glad that Jaebum had changed for the better.
“All right,” Jinyoung said, “good luck, Captain.”
“Thank you,” Jaebum smiled, “I’ll make sure to report the good news to you, IF I do got any good news.”
Jinyoung smiled warmly with a full cart of encouragement, “we’ll see.”
*
*
*
So despite having the blessings from Jinyoung, Jaebum was still cooped up inside his parked car outside of the hospital that his love is working at. The agent had struggled for the past thirty minutes, going through that one speech over and over inside his head. Jaebum isn’t actually mentally prepared to meet with Youngjae, yet. It’s nerve-racking. What if this visit results in another slap on Jaebum’s other cheek? Youngjae’s hands might be delicate and soft as , but they’re still doctor’s hands, they hurt like hell.
Exhaling unconfidently, Jaebum finally stepped out of his car. Outside, the clear sky has already falling into the dark blue color of a long night.
Jaebum pushed the entrance doors of the hospital open and calmly made his way inside. Ryeowook was the first person to notice.
“Oh, my God,” Ryeowook gasped unintentionally, “Jaebum-ssi…”
“Hello, Ryeowook-ssi, is Doc-“
“Yes, he is!” The clerk excitedly exclaimed before Jaebum had the chance to finish asking. “He’s with a patient right now, but he should be out soon. Right. About. Now.”
As on cue, a very familiar voice filled up the empty space of the front hospital’s lobby. “WOAH! Be careful there, miss.”
Jaebum turned to the owner of that voice with a racing heart. Except what he witnessed was a turbulence to his displeasing eyes. Youngjae had his arms around a very pretty woman. And she was leaning, purposely, very close into Youngjae’s kind arms, taking full advantage of him without the doctor noticing. Yet, he approached the two, each step he took was careful and heavy with possible insecurities. Jaebum wouldn’t be surprised if he starts to hyperventilating.
“Jiyeon…?” It’s been a long time since that name had set upon Jaebum’s tongue. He never missed it, though.
“J-Jae-Jaebum?” Jiyeon softly gasped, completely surprised at the reunion.
Youngjae was also surprised to see Jaebum here, inside the hospital, despite what had happened weeks ago. However, it didn’t stop the doctor from darting his eyes between the agent and female patient curiously. “You guys know each other?” What a stupid question, Choi Youngjae, the doctor scolded himself.
“Y-yes, this is, um, the ex that I’ve dated for three years that I’d told you about, Doctor,” Jiyeon stated as if it’s an obvious thing.
“Ex?” Youngjae’s eyes are now fixed on Jaebum’s, who stared back in disbelief. “Well, isn’t that convenient…”
“Jaebum! How have you been doing? You know, I actually really miss-“
“Youngjae,” Jaebum said, ignoring the words that’s coming out of his ex’s mouth, “can we talk, please?”
Jiyeon looked between the two men, “oh, you two know each other? Wow, what a small world!”
“You know, Jaebum-ssi, Miss Jiyeon was just telling me about how her ex-boyfriend is this perfect person with no heart, since he didn’t know how to love her right,” Youngjae said, eyes still burning holes into Jaebum’s.
“Youngjae-“
“She also said that even though he might not love her well, she still has feelings for him. And even though he loves his job more than anything, she still wants him back,” Youngjae continued, unfazed.
“Listen, Youngjae-“
“How could you not come and visit her when she’s been hospitalized this whole time? Did you not know that she was involved in a very huge car accident? Or did you not care?” Youngjae know exactly why he’s obviously extremely triggered by this whole situation.
“Um, Doctor Choi, you don’t have to…” Jiyeon lowered her head. “I mean, we’re not together anymore… And Jaebum probably have someone else now, so it’s okay, really.”
“You’re right,” Jaebum answered Jiyeon’s doubts, however, eyes never left Youngjae’s for even a second, “I do have someone else. Someone who I love more than anything else in this goddamn world. Someone who I love like never before. Someone who I’m not willing to ever let go of.”
It wasn’t a lie that Jiyeon felt tints of jealousy erupted throughout her pulsing veins. “What are you saying, Jaebum? You’re saying you’ve never loved me? Tell me, who is this person that you love so much?!”
“Even if I tell you, it wouldn’t change anything. I’ll never love you like I love them,” Jaebum, finally, turned his attention to a trembling Jiyeon, “I don’t want you back. And I won’t be sorry for saying that. You’re a ; a gold digger; an insolent little . I don’t want you. Now, get the out. I need to talk to Youngjae.”
“JAEBUM! YOU-“
“Jaebum-ssi,” Youngjae clenched his fist, “you’ve got no rights to speak that way to my patient. I would like you to leave this instant.”
“Youngjae-“
“And mind you, we’re not close, so don’t address me so casually,” Youngjae corrected Jaebum’s habit of calling his name with such a soft tone.
The stares the agent and doctor shared were drawing a lot of attention. Reluctantly, Sana caught it and headed on over. “Miss Jiyeon, why don’t you follow me to get your X-rays?” Sana took Jiyeon’s arm carefully into her hands and led the injured lady away before she could began desperately clinging onto her ex-lover.
Jaebum made a mental note to thank Sana later. But now, the agent found himself dragging a resisting Youngjae by the wrist. They only made it out to the hospital’s garden before Youngjae made an attempt to yank his wrist out of Jaebum’s grip. Youngjae angrily rubbed his wrist with his other hand; he was so close to let the tears he’d been holding for the past three weeks fall freely, all exposed for Jaebum to see.
“What the do you think you are doing?” Youngjae spat.
“I just want to talk,” Jaebum replied, as calm as ever. Contradictory, his heart won’t stop ramming suicidally against his ribcage; he was far from calm. If anything, Jaebum was on the verge of going crazy.
“There’s nothing to talk about so LEAVE.”
“Yes, there is something to talk about, because I’m not about to lose you, Youngjae-ah.”
“Stop it. You don’t get to do that. You don’t get to just drop the informalities and pretend like we’re close or some . I’m not doing it. I’m not falling for it again!”
With just one step, Jaebum placed himself perfectly in front of Youngjae. Without hesitation, Jaebum took a hold of both of Youngjae’s hands in his own. No doubt Youngjae’s first reaction was to break free from Jaebum’s hold, but the agent determinedly held on.
“Let. Me. Go.” Youngjae demanded, eyes hard and cold as stone.
“I love you,” Jaebum said firmly and surely.
“Im Jaebum, let me go right now.”
“I love you.”
“I don’t have time for this bull. Let me go.”
“I love you,” was all Jaebum said.
For a moment, Youngjae didn’t say anything except searching into Jaebum’s serious eyes. The doctor was feeling it again. The feeling that he’s been trying to bury begins to stir up again. Oh, how Youngjae wanted to give in and fall right into Jaebum’s inviting arms. But he didn’t. He has to fight back.
“No,” Youngjae said, “you don’t. I don’t believe you.”
“I do,” Jaebum said, “I’ve love you since the day I’d opened my eyes and saw you dozing off in an uncomfortable position on that hospital chair that you’ve been telling them to change. I’ve fallen for you then, but I was stupid and didn’t realize it. And I went on with trying to complete my mission. Little did I know how much I’ll be falling for you more than I’ve ever fallen for anyone. Little did I know how much I’ll be loving you and wanting you to be mine. Little did I know I’ll only be breathing steadily in this world if you were by my side. I didn’t know all that. So I shamelessly went on doing this dumb mission, thinking I’ll be done in two months because I’m the best agent and I always get my together.
But you see, none of my s are together, because you came along and ed me up to the point I was dropping the whole goddamn mission and only focus my attention on pleasing you. I got so involved in the way you talk, smile, eat, walk, concentrate, laugh, dress, blush, fight, sass, joke, God, everything about you. I love literally everything about you. You could be killing someone right in front of me right now and I’ll still love you for it. Because everything you do or say is cute and y to me. Your voice is like music to my ears. I swear I could listen to you talk all day and won’t even complain one bit.
Choi Youngjae, you don’t know how much your existence affect me. You don’t know what you do to me. You make me forget everything I’ve worked so hard for. You make me threw away the life I’ve been building up. You make the demon inside of me rise up and distracts me in ways that I’ve never thought were possible. You make my heart tremble with just a small smile that’s directed at me. You make me fall for you so deep. You make me crave for you more and more everyday, driving me insane.
I just want you to know that I don’t regret any of it. In a way, my lies had brought us together. We would have never crossed paths if it weren’t for that call to my Boss’s office, informing me of an important mission. So important that I had to cut all ties with any personal relationships I’ve had. I’m sorry I’ve lied. But I’ve never lied about my feelings. I’ve never lied when I said I love you, because I do, I love you with all my heart and more. I love you so ing much that it hurts me to see you so broken because of me. I’m sorry, Youngjae-ah, please, give me another chance.
Actually, you know what, you don’t even have to love me. Just don’t go on with your life hating me. I beg you. I can’t live knowing you resent me. I know I’ve ed up so ing bad, but please don’t hate me. I’m yours, Youngjae. All yours. You can use me all you want, I don’t give a , just don’t hate me. , I’ll be satisfy with just you using me. I have the money and all the things you need, use me all you want, Youngjae. I’m ready for it all. If you’re happy, then I am, too.”
Jaebum ended his speech, waiting for Youngjae to responds. Although whatever Jaebum had prepared and practiced just flew out the window by just one look Youngjae had given him, the agent still managed to pour his heart into the confession, desperate hoping Youngjae understands and forgives him. And maybe take up his request and use him to the doctor’s likes.
Jaebum felt a soft squeeze to both of his hands; his hope sparked. Instead, Youngjae softly suggested, “go home, Jaebum.”
And the agent was left alone in the garden, heart breaking for the second time.
*
*
*
It wasn’t because Youngjae was shaken up with the extremely detailed confession, or maybe it was…. But Youngjae couldn’t concentrate for the rest of the evening, resulting unfinished works, and it’s mocking the doctor. Youngjae was still surprised at how he had handled that. He didn’t expect his voice to come out so calm and steady as if he wasn’t affected by whatever Jaebum had said. Realistic, he wasn't; he wasn't okay.Throughout the whole speech, Youngjae’s heart wouldn’t stop frantically increasing its speed. It’s a miracle that he hasn't died due to a heart attack.
But seriously, how can someone be calm when hearing all of that? It was everything Youngjae wanted to hear. Jaebum has always been a smooth talker, but damn, that confession melted every parts of Youngjae. He was so tempted to just clung onto Jaebum and beg the agent to take him home and love him correctly. That would have been very embarrassing.
Before Youngjae could think of other embarrassing things that his heart was convincing him to do at that time, since Jaebum was, in full enthusiasm, encouraging him to use the agent’s everything, his phone rang annoyingly, stopping the doctor from going further into the gutter. Didn’t bothered to look at the caller, Youngjae slid to answer the call.
“Hello?”
“Youngjae,” came Mark’s soothing voice, “hello.”
“That’s weird,” Youngjae pointed out.
“What is?”
“Didn’t it pass our usual calling time? I mean don’t you have better things to do around this time of night?” It became very clear to Youngjae that at this late at night, there’s only two things Mark could be better of doing: sleep and then wake up to or and then fall asleep.
“I do, but my best friend just interrupted me from doing so, babbling about how heartbroken he is,” Mark sighed. “Youngjae, I believe we’ve talked about this.”
“Don’t remember,” Youngjae plopped down onto his couch. “And even if I did, I wasn’t interested.”
“You brat,” Mark groaned tiredly.
“No, I’m not the brat here. Never was,” Youngjae sneered, “if ya know what I mean.”
Mark chuckled softly over the line, “I know.”
“How’s Jinyoung? Is he there?”
“Yeah, he is, but he fell asleep since he got tired of waiting for me while I went to deal with my best friend’s whining-“
“Oh, that’s okay, y’all can when he wakes up, so you can still keep your record of daily .”
“-ANYWAYS, Jinyoung isn’t doing so peachy. Seems like the only time he’s fully relaxed is when we so,” Mark sighed, again.
“He’ll be fine as long as you’re there. I’ve already forgiven him, but knowing Jinyoung, he thinks I need time alone, so he didn’t call or show. But that’s okay, I do need some time alone.”
“What you’re going to do about Jaebum? I’m sure he offered his body and soul for you to use, yeah? That sounds like something this Jaebum would do.”
“He did,” Youngjae let out a dry laugh, “it’s cute how much you know Jaebum.”
“It’s cute how much you know Jinyoung.”
“What do I do, Mark-hyung?”
The line went dead for a while before Mark’s soft voice was heard again, “ask yourself if you still love him, Youngjae-ah. If the answer is ‘yes,’ then you shouldn’t waste anytime and go see him. If the answer is ‘no,’ then just continue sitting in your office and finish those paperworks. Love is a natural thing, Youngjae-ah, you know that. You’re passionate and honest, I’m sure you can overlook his lies and truly sees his heart that’s only beating for you.”
Youngjae bit his lower lip and thought about it. He asked himself. And his answer was immediate. The doctor smiled, “thank you, hyung. I know what to do now.”
“Glad I’ve helped,” Youngjae could hear Mark’s proud grin through the phone. “By the way, one request.”
“Yes, hyung?”
“Come over and hug Jinyoung, please? Without you in his life, he magically gotten so vigorous. I mean the ’s great and everything, but I’m tired as and Jinyoung won’t stop relieving all his stress of not-having-a-dear-best-friend on my body. Poor me, I’ll break soon,” Mark exasperatedly informed.
Youngjae smirked, “I thought you’re extremely ually active, so how can you not take it?”
“Listen here, you little , imagine three weeks straight, every single day, all-nighters , , I don’t even know how Jinyoung still managed to go to work everyday without falling asleep in the middle of meetings. Like okay, I get it, and being an understanding husband, I’m willingly giving him whatever he needs, you know. But I've got limits, too. And a stressed Jinyoung is VERY energetic and hard to please. So, please, save my poor fragile body. I can take daily couple hours of and a couple of spreaded out all-nighters, but daily all-nighters? I’m even surprised I’m still able to sit and talk to you.”
“I mean, hyung, if it’s great and you like it, then there shouldn’t be a problem, right? You’ll eventually get used to it and everything is going to be all right,” Youngjae laughed, having fun teasing his best friend’s husband.
“I’ll skin you, Choi Youngjae,” Mark threatened.
“And Jinyoung will skin you,” Youngjae challenged.
“Except he won’t, because all I need to do is drop to my knees and his and everything is going to be all right,” Mark casually counterattacked like it’s actually a very obvious solution.
“,” Youngjae gasped, “you right.”
“I admit Jinyoung cares a lot about you, but you can’t give him physical pleasure or s, so that leaves you at a disadvantage.”
“You’re disgusting,” Youngjae wrinkled his nose in disgust as inappropriate images flash through his mind in lighting speed.
As though reading the doctor’s mind, Mark laughed softly, “I hope you’re not imagine my husband writhing as he rides out his . That’ll be pretty awkward.”
“Shut up,” Youngjae groaned. “It’s your fault. And I don’t think about Jinyoung like that. He’s my best friend, my older brother. He’s yours, remember?”
“Oh, I remember. Never forgets,” Mark replied, his voice is a bit sleepy now, “well, anyways, I hope everything goes well, Youngjae-ah. I’m happy for you.”
“Thank you, again, Mark-hyung. Go to sleep, you sound very tired. At least get a couple of hours before taming the Beast,” Youngjae suggested, inwardly feels bad for Mark.
“Yeah, good night,” Mark said before hanging up.
The doctor sighed. He got up from the couch and walked out of his office. Youngjae was strolling along the long hallway of the hospital next to a long wall of windows, when he took out his phone and pulled up his contacts list. His thumb hovered over the name of the person behind his tears and clenching heart. With a deep exhale, Youngjae pressed on that name, calling the person whom voice he needs to hear right now.
It didn’t even reach the second ring before the other line picked up.
“Young-Youngjae?”
“Hello, Jaebum.”
“What are-why are-“
“Jaebum, I’m-“
“No,” Jaebum interrupted, “if you’re going to say you’re sorry, then don’t. I don’t want to hear it.”
“I wasn’t….” Youngjae pouted, knowing Jaebum doesn’t see it.
“Then what were you going to say?”
“I was going to say that I…. I…. I was wondering if you’re not too busy, you know, I want to meet up for a bit, let’s talk, again.”
Youngjae mentally slapped himself. He’s such an idiot. That wasn’t what he was going to say. What the hell? Youngjae blamed himself for being such a coward.
“S-sure, well, where are you now? I can come to you, since I’m driving right now, so might as well,” Jaebum obviously sounded very surprised but didn’t refused the opportunity to see Youngjae.
“I’m at the hospital,” Youngjae said, voice a bit above a whisper. He was actually going to see Jaebum. “Where are you? Maybe I can come to you. I’m about to leave anyways.”
“Well, I’m heading home right now.”
“Right now? You weren’t home after that… That, uh, um,” finding himself sounding so awkward, Youngjae scratched his head.
“No, I wasn’t,” Jaebum said, probably knowing how awkward it is for Youngjae to say it out loud, so the agent saved the doctor from struggling to find the right wordings. “I sort of stopped by Mark’s but didn’t went inside ‘cause of - you know - so I called in from my car in his parkway. After that, I went grocery shopping, because I tends to eat a lot when I’m sad, so, yeah, and I’m going home now.”
“Oh, okay, then, you head back to your place. I guess, I’ll come over… If that’s all right with you-“
“Oh, God, of course, and well, um, we, uh, could have dinner, since I did bought a lot of stuff to cook,” Jaebum immediately replied, feeling excited and anticipated a lot from Youngjae’s sudden coming-over.
“Okay then, that’s set,” Youngjae clicked his tongue, “I’ll be there, soon.”
“Yeah, I’ll see you then,” Jaebum smiled widely.
“Bye, Jaebum,” Youngjae bit back a smile.
“Bye, Young-“
A loud crash startled Youngjae as he held tightly onto his phone. Then, screeching of tires on concrete and smashing of metals against metals woke every single nerve that’s peacefully resting within Youngjae’s body. The doctor gasped loudly, his eyes widened as he registered what was happening on the other side of the line.
“Jaebum? Jaebum?! Im Jaebum!! Are you still there??!!” Youngjae shouted to his phone, desperately trying to get a response.
Nothing came besides the sizzling statics of a phone that’s slowly losing its signal.
“Oh, my God, Jaebum, please! Please, be okay, I’ll be there. I’m on my way right now! Jaebum, please, please, please be all right…”
Didn’t even bothering taking off his white doctor coat, Youngjae ran down the hall with all the energy he could muster in the span of a couple of seconds, mouth never stop praying for Jaebum to be okay.
*
*
*
The loud blaring of the ambulance’s siren and its bright flashing red light annoyed the out of Jaebum. He’s already experiencing a headache, he didn’t need this kind of additional bull to led him to the imagery of an acid trip.
“There you go, sir, you’re all right now,” the paramedic finished securing the squared gauze path just above Jaebum’s right eyebrow.
“Thank you,” Jaebum smiled weakly, “is the other people okay?”
“Well, not quite, we got two unconscious bodies and a couple of heavily injured people. They’re being sent to S.K. United right now.”
Jaebum sighed. Looks like he won’t be having dinner with Youngjae tonight, much less seeing the doctor. Youngjae's probably running the ER right now. Or getting ready to perform surgeries. Jaebum’s worry about Youngjae health. The doctor will have to be up all night, again.
The agent looked at his wrecked car, silently grieving for his precious baby and apologizing to the innocent unused groceries that’s been crushed. Sighing again, Jaebum got up from the where he was sitting at the back of one of the ambulance.
Then, it hits him. “Oh, my God, my phone. I need to call Youngjae back.” Jaebum ran over to his wreck of a car. He tried to pry pieces of broken car parts out. No luck. Jaebum could only assume that some time during the crash, his phone fell out from his grasp and flew out the window or some like that. Removing himself from the wreckage, Jaebum walked towards the crowd that’s forming around the other car wreckages. There were a lot of blood, everyone was either gasping or cringing, Jaebum didn’t even bat an eyelash; he’d seen much, much, much worse.
Gotten bored of the gory display, Jaebum walked off, decided to just hail a cab and go home. He’ll just call Youngjae from his spare phone at home. Jaebum wonders if Youngjae is worried right now. It would be nice if he is, though, Jaebum thought.
Jaebum began walking. He didn’t make it far from the scene of the accident before the screeching of tires of a car slamming on its brake scared him. The other ambulance was kind of covering Jaebum’s sight, so he couldn’t tell what was going on. Jaebum heard a loud slam of the car’s door. The agent furrowed his eyebrows and walked forward.
“JAEBUM!”
A shout of his name, Jaebum froze in his tracks. No ing way, Jaebum’s head screamed.
The agent could only stared when he saw the face of a very concerned doctor came into view. “Youngjae-“
Everything happened too fast. It’s like the slap, but so, so, so, definitely, a thousand percent better. Jaebum didn’t have the chance to say anything else besides Youngjae’s name, because the next thing he felt were the softness of Youngjae’s lips on top of his own.
Jaebum didn’t move or do anything. He was still trying to process what the hell was happening. Surely, Youngjae didn’t just-
Closing his eyes shut, Jaebum placed a hand on Youngjae’s nape, cradling the doctor’s head as he confidently open his mouth, kissing Youngjae in the most tamed way possible. Youngjae’s response was enough to drive Jaebum over the ing edge; the doctor wrapped both of his arms around Jaebum’s neck and pulled him even closer as their lips continued to dance perfectly against each other. Jaebum didn’t waste time slipping his other arm around Youngjae’s smaller frame and winded up resting it on Youngjae’s waist, hugging the younger tightly in his arms.
Jesus ing Christ, Youngjae is such a ing good kisser. The way he's letting Jaebum dominates over him and shyly, but teasingly, nibbling lightly on Jaebum’s lower lip is everything more than Jaebum ever imagined. Jaebum, obviously, didn’t let their first kiss together go to a waste. The agent effortlessly kisses his lover with all of his raw emotions and through the kiss, through the sweet and smooth movement of his plush lips, he’d told Youngjae how much he loves him.
Youngjae pulled away first, leaving Jaebum to chase after those addictive lips. But Youngjae needed to breathe, “Jaebum,” his breathing fast, “don’t do that again. I was so worry about you goddamnit.”
Jaebum should feel bad for not really paying attention to whatever that’s coming out of Youngjae’s pretty little mouth. But the agent was dreamily admiring a breathless Youngjae with his swollen red lips begging to be kissed again. So Jaebum did exactly that.
“Jaebum, are you even listening-"
Jaebum cuts Youngjae off by pecking his lips, “I love you,” another peck, “Love you so much,” another peck, but a bit longer, “Youngjae-ah,” Jaebum smiled against Youngjae’s lips, “real always feels so much better,” and Jaebum kisses Youngjae again, “mmmhmm, sooooo much better,” and again, “I could kiss you all day,” and again.
Youngjae lightly shoved Jaebum away, protecting himself from being kiss for, probably, the hundredth time tonight. “I need you to focus here, no more kissing,” Youngjae sighed.
“One more,” Jaebum whined, already feeling needy. Without waiting for Youngjae’s reply, Jaebum his lips and leaned in and stole another kiss from Youngjae’s abused lips.
“Okay, that’s it,” Youngjae firmly declared, “no more, Jaebum.”
“One more,” Jaebum pouted, wanting Youngjae’s lips to be back to where it belongs, against Jaebum’s, “last one, please.”
Youngjae shook his head in defeat. Jaebum looked like a child who’s begging his mother for another cookie. It’s cute, but Youngjae really needed Jaebum to pay attention right now. “Okay, last one,” Youngjae sighed.
Grinning happily, Jaebum cupped Youngjae’s cheeks and pulled the doctor in for a very sweet, but long, kiss. Youngjae was also at fault for being so hooked up into it and lost himself in Jaebum’s love. Youngjae’s hands didn’t hesitate to grip tightly on the lapels of Jaebum’s jacket, supporting himself since his legs were slowly giving out.
It went on like that until Jaebum confidently slipped his tongue in between Youngjae’s lips that the doctor realized what he had really came for. Breaking away from the passionate kiss, Youngjae was breathless. “O-kay, let’s stop here before we end up eating each other’s faces in this cold- weather in front of a bunch of bloodied corpses,” the doctor tried to steadied himself, only to fall forward, falling perfectly into Jaebum’s warm embrace.
“You’re so goddamn beautiful, Youngjae-ah,” Jaebum breathed out. “If you look this gorgeous just from kissing, I can’t imagine how breathtaking you’ll look when we -“
“OKAY, we are REALLY going to need to talk, Jaebum,” Youngjae’s face is artfully painted with about fifty shades of red now. Youngjae didn’t expect for Jaebum to escalates everything so quickly. The innocent doctor, honestly, was going to talk to Jaebum about his sorted-out feelings, nothing else. Seriously, nothing else. But it’s very obvious that Jaebum has other plans. “Look, I need to get back to the hospital-“
“No! Don’t leave!” Jaebum quickly took a hold of Youngjae’s hands, face showing a lot of fear.
“Calm down,” Youngjae smiled, “I just need to perform operations. Those people aren’t going to fix themselves, Jaebum. I’m a doctor. I help save lives. I only came because I was worried that something had happened to you. But now that I see you’re fine - very fine - I have to go. I’ll call a cab to pick you up. I’m sorry we can’t have dinner together tonight. Next time, we will.”
Jaebum beamed, “of course! Good luck and don’t push yourself too much, okay?” The agent placed a familiar kiss on Youngjae’s cheek. “I’ll see you in the morning, okay, baby?”
“So we’re back as boyfriends again?”
“Obviously. You’ve always been my boyfriend, even if you slapped me. I still love you and forever will love only you.”
“You’re so cheesy,” Youngjae laughed, lowkey liking the attention he’s getting from Jaebum.
“All right, off you go now or people going to start dying,” Jaebum patted Youngjae’s head.
“Yeah, easy said than done when you’re not letting me go,” Youngjae quirked his eyebrow.
Jaebum gasped an “oh” before gently and reluctantly lets go of his boyfriend. He didn’t even know he was unconsciously holding tight onto Youngjae.
Youngjae left Jaebum a shy smile before turning on his heel, heading back to his car. After taking about four steps, Youngjae stopped, turned around and headed back towards Jaebum.
Youngjae kissed Jaebum’s cold, yet, at the same time, burning lips. As he pulls away, the smaller male was beaming happily.
“I love you, too, Im Jaebum.”
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