`Sometimes when I look back to the tears I wasted for him, i felt stupid

But, who knew that looking back at the happy times we spent together, would made me cry?`

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Kim Soo Mi

 Is this a dream? If it is, will I ever wake up from this dream?

soomi blinked her eyes in amusement. no.. this isn't real, right? her eyes were locked on the figure of the guy in front of her. gazing at his every move "so yeah.." l.joe cupped the back of his neck "i won't ask for an answer now, just take your time" his lips curled into a small smile, shyly nodding his head then walked away.

wait----------

soomi stood still. she wrinkled her eyebrows and paid attention to the back of the man, slowly dissapearing from her view. weird.. am i dreaming? l.joe oppa just confessed that he liked me.. but what kind of love he's talking about?

soomi tilted her head right then to the left, still looking as clueless as ever

"ow!" she let out a squeak as she pinched herself. this really happened? she questioned herself, still couldn't believe it "i'm not dreaming.." she mumbled slowly then slowly wiped the sweat in her hands "why am i so nervous?" she slowly place a hand on her heart, feeling the rush of adrenaline inside her.

soomi.. what do you think of him? a brother? a friend? or..

she gulped in, she has never thought of him that way, at least until this afternoon. she began to feel her reddened cheek.

*what's happening to me?!*

----------------------------------------------***-------------------------------------------

drip.. drip.. drip...

the girl's tears were ustoppable. just like how the rains pours in, her eyes were welled up with tears. she couldn't understand her feelings anymore..

is it sadness? betrayal? or...

she couldn't think. she could feel a stabbing pain coursed through her heart. the girl accelerated, passing through the lonely path, she ran passed the pine trees along the two sides of the road.

this couldn't be happening..

she has been wondering whether what she saw earlier was an illusion, some kind of her own hallusination. but even if it was, it still sounded so true, almost realistic.

*bump!*

she found herself colliding into someone, her back bumped onto the hard, dusty ground. "ouch.." the two growled in pain. she looked up, lifting her eye level to meet with the person she fell onto. seungyeol. quickly, without wanting him to realize she was crying, she wiped out her tears.

"jieun?" she was dumbfounded to heard a concern tone coming from the boy. seungyeol stood up, dusting his shirt then lend a hand for jieun to take. jieun throwed her face away and stood up on her own "mian" she slowly said without even meeting his eyes

"jieun?" seungyeol squinted his eyes, trying to look at her face as jieun ducked in "are you allright?" he carefully gripped on her shoulder, jieun flinched at his touch and hid herself more "yes.. " her voice trembled, seungyeol noticed it right away "you're crying? did it hurt?" he shook her shoulder panickly.

jieun slowly shook her head, trying her best to walk away from seungyeol but ended up frozen in her place. jieun didn't feel the pain in her back but she could feel a deep pain inside her heart, she began to cry more. jieun howled, covering her face with her hands

seungyeol quickly wrapped his arms around jieun and patted her head. he hated to see girls cry "and can you smile?" seungyeol began singing, eventhough his voice wasn't as good as sunggyu's but it catches her attention. jieun stopped crying and slowly caught in his lullaby.

niga weonhajana..
niga barajanha..
nae mam maneuroneun..
neol jabeul suga obtneungabwa..
and, can you smile?
nega galajanha..
nan gwenchanhdajeonha..
majimak neoege..
nan igeot bakken mot junabwa..

jieun closed her eyes, staying close to his chest. seungyeol's voice soothed her down. seungyeol stopped singing. jieun lifted her face a little, looking at him "useobwa (smile).." seungyeol slowly pinched her cheek, jieun was a bit startled by his touch

"girls looked prettier when they smile" he caught her eyes, looking directly at him. seungyeol let out a small smile and grabbed her wrist, tagging her with him

"come with me"

------

"euh?" jieun blinked her eyes at the box of lollipops in her lap "what's this?" looked at seungyeol who is now sitting beside her, slowly pushed himself on the swings "lollipop always makes me smile, trust me, it'll work on you too" seungyeol smiled and continued swinging.

the park was quiet, a long silence went on before finally jieun opened her lips. "gomawo.." jieun said, there was a hint of sadness in her voice. seungyeol stopped swinging and looked at her "what's wrong, euh?" he curiously asked "nothing.." jieun's eyes looked onto the ground, slowly brushing her feet against the sand below

"geotjimal~" seungyeol nagged, he stood up and squated down infront of her. jieun looked at him a bit stunned "you're lying" seungyeol pouted, putting his palms on his puffy cheeks "tell me!" he demanded, putting on a pouty face. jieun only giggled looking at his childish actions

"why are you laughing?" he asked seriously

"you're just like a 5 year old kid" jieun smiled "i'm not surprised! my nickname is choding seungyeol" he meekly smiled, proudly announcing. he couldn't help smiling when he saw jieun stopped crying and is now grinning widely "..and you're smiling" he mumbled slowly "am i?" jieun seemed to realized it late, yes, she was smiling.

her eyes were glued on seungyeol's gum smile. magical.. this guy is magical.. she thought. when she's with him it's like she has forgotten everything.

"now tell me why are you crying or this thing," he raised his index finger and pointed her nose "will become like pinocchio's" he put on a serious face. jieun laughed harder "what?"

seungyeol lips pressed into a small smile *when she smiles, she looks cute* he didn't stop looking at her "you're so childish!" jieun even stopped crying "now.. tell me" sungyeol was now sitting on the ground infront of her, his face lifted up to match her eyes

-----

her smile fades and the pain started to crawl into her again. "hey hey.. why looking so sad again?" seungyeol scolded, jieun made a small, fake smile "i think i just got a heartbreak."

seungyeol gulped down, he didn't know what to say. he felt a bit guilty for forcing her to speak out her pain, maybe it's rude but he only wanted to help her. 

"i'm pathetic, arent i?" jieun let out a scoff. seungyeol's heart flinched "no you're not" he said confidently.

jieun looked at him, she was on the verge of crying again "you're not pathetic.. everyone experienced it.. it's not only you" seungyeol sternly looked at her "not everyone experienced it-- " a small droplet of water strolled down.

her mind began to replay the scene and so she cried.

------

that's not right.. not everyone experience heartbreaks..

Soomi got everything i ever wanted. she's strong , beautiful , smart and she receives a lot of love.. 

I envied her.. She got his love. his love.. the love that i will never get, the attention i'm dying for.. she got it all.

It's unfair and I'm jealous.. but I have to keep this feelings to myself, i have to burry this feelings deeply inside. Everyday, I'm dying a little bit more.. it hurts..

But.. is it wrong for me to hope that he might turn around and look at me once?

jieun felt nothing but emptiness, her first love was in love with her own best friend. that was a fact she couldn't deny. a nightmare she couldn't wake up from. jieun pressed her trembling lips, slowly hide the fact that her chin began to wobble. she was hurted. she was pained.

"then you are stronger" seungyeol slowly patted her head. jieun eyes opened wide, slowly lifted her head and looked at seungyeol "h--how..?" her voice shivered again.

seungyeol shrugged and sigh before answering "those who experienced heartbreaks are usually stronger than those who have not.. " he looked at her softly "they understand the pain of heartbreaks, therefore they are more mature... they learn and keep learning until they find their happiness" jieun chin wobbled, deep inside she knew he was right

"you're not alone" seungyeol put on a smile as he gently brushed her tears away "thankyou.. seungyeol" her face slowly blushed. seungyeol put his hands on her cheek "anytime" he put on his brightest smile, jieun couldn't help but to smile too

"thankyou.."

to be continued...

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sorry for the late update

exams x_x

anyway.. this chapter is mostly focused on Jieun *cough* and seungyeol *cough*

next chap will be about soomi ^^

hope i didn't dissapoint!

thankyou for reading, commenting and subscribing! :)

please comment below! tell me what do you think, critics are fine too!

big hugs!

-kloverlover31-

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