"Are you being good for grandma?' Jaejoong asked over the phone the next morning.  

"Yep....I be good....,'Jaejoong couldn't help but find Karam way of talking over the phone really cute, 'That's a good boy.' Jaejoong laughed.   'I'll see you real soon.... can you give the phone back to Grandma, we love you Karam.' 

"Someone look delighted with himself....' Jaejoong hard Yunho mother on the other side. 'He's been a mope all morning all he need was a little chat with you and he brightens up. How are you dear....Yunho was worried about you last time when we spoke. Maybe when you come back you should see a specialist you've been so poorly lately it has us all worried.   

"I'm okay.... Ummu. Really.' 

"Really, you don't sound convinced... is there something on you mind, you know I'm always here for you, even if my son can be self-center.' Jaejoong laughed. 'He's being working every hour he could, just so he could go and meet up with you, you've been playing on all are mind the last couple of days. Heaven known why Yunho even allowed you to go.... he's been in a mood, father like son if you ask me.'   

 Jaejoong laughed, a simple conversation with Yunho mother made him feel better. Know you listen take care of yourself, we'll see you in a few days.... if your stomach is still upset, have so ginger tea....' 

'Thanks, Umma... I will bye.' Jaejoong held the phone in his hand looking to Yunho. 'We really need to tell them.' Jaejoong looked so lost, he couldn't think of what to say. 

"And we will as soon as you get your own head around it.' Yunho answered. 'Come let's get ready, then we'll head out.' When Jaejoong didn't move Yunho placed his hand on his shoulder. 'Jaejoong.' Yunho called him again Jaejoong looked up nodded his head as he got up heading to the bathroom. Yunho shook his head. It hadn't been easy on them since they found out, Jaejoong was lost and so was he. But Yunho was able to pull it together quicker. Jaejoong was scared really scared, Yunho  couldn't really tell why but something was eating at Jaejoong, he was taking it hard it was why Yunho allowed Jaejoong to go he needed a distraction he really was wearing himself out. It wasn't that he didn't want it, Yunho knew how much Jaejoong loved Karam as much as if he was his own. He would love this one the same. 

**** 

They spend most of the day walking around, Yunho was more than happy when Jaejoong ate a sweet pastry without the look of wanting to throw up.  He looked less pale that he had lately. He wanted Jaejoong to be comfort with it all.  Yunho loved watching Jaejoong laugh but as soon as it appears it left.  They went to a small café to sit down for a while.  Yunho cupped Jaejoong hand as he stirred the content of the cup over and over. 'What's on your mind...?" Yunho asked. 'Talk to me...please Jae.' Jaejoong took his hand from Yunho grip. 'What's wrong Jae...?' 

"Nothing,' Jaejoong lied. 'and everything, everything going through my mind. Will I be a good mom?' Will I be able to do this. Will I be able to look after a baby.... will  Taeyeon parents take Karam from you because of this.' 

"Jae..... you'll be an amazing mom, you are an amazing mom. And don't think like that Karam will be staying with us... 

'But what if.... when it's born, I'm nothing...' Jaejoong looked out the window. 'My r-real parents were young when they had me.' Jaejoong spoke softly. 'They couldn't keep me ... it was too much for them. I don't know a lot of the detail just I know they were young.' Jaejoong told him.   

"Is this why you don't think you be about to have the baby.' 

"It may be a part of it....,' He answered.' Do you remember when we were in Paris.' Jaejoong stirred his cup again.' I met with my papa solicitor, he was asking me what I wanted to do with my father property he wanted to speak to me about my father will he also had a letter from my birth Umma supposed to be given to me when I was 18. Papa kept it from me, he thought I wasn't ready for it. And he was right, I was already testing his boundary and did everything I shouldn't.' 

'Everyone test their parents.......' Yunho had no idea where this was heading but he was going to wait Jaejoong was ready. 

'Did everyone go to that assent that they drank so much they ended up with alcohol poisoning, and almost destroyed their liver I'm no angel Yunho,' 

'Jaejoong...... 

"What if I damage it....? What if I'm not good for it.... 
 

" Are you kidding me.... right? Jaejoong you're going to be the best Umma, are the best Umma to Karam, anyone would agree. 

"What if its like me and does stupid things like I did....  

"Well we will be there to set them right, this is our baby Jaejoong.  Our baby we created we'll do was best for our baby.' Yunho had to say it hoping it would sink in. He could see why Jaejoong was thinking of it all. The baby coming to them probably brought it all up. His insecurity of his own parents, his adoptive and how he was growing up. Jaejoong always held so much back.  Trying to think of others before himself.  

'What if you lose Karam.... 

"Jaejoong you know that not going to happen, Taeyeon parent we've spoken to them. They were just in shock that day... They really like you.' 

"But what if they change their mind.... thinking that we won't want Karam anymore....' 

'That's no happening and you know it......' Jaejoong placed his head in his hands Yunho rubbing his back he just need to be the best husband he could be. Jaejoong was terrified, he couldn't breathe, he didn't feel trapped but he was incredibly terrified of what was ahead on them, full of uncertainties, fear the unknown. 

"Come on.... 

"I don't know why I'm like it.....' Jaejoong answered. 

" You been holding it all it.... everyone need to let go eventually.' Yunho kissed his head. 'helping Jaejoong take his head from his hand.