Un-Beta

Chapter 19

 It was an 11-hour flight back from France and even with the time difference the time they arrive back in Korea it was enough to make anyone head spin.  Yunho mother was outside waiting on them in the arrivals hall, “Umma I told you we’d get a taxi.” Yunho told his mother as she hugged Jaejoong and then her grandson who was glued to Jaejoong hip.

“And how long would you have to wait to find one with a car seat for Karam, Come On I’ll take you all home and you can tell me about your trip. Did you get any shut eye on the flight?” Her eyes forced on Jaejoong as she hugged Yunho.

“A little, Karam was acting up a little,” Yunho told her looking to Jaejoong as he spoke, Jaejoong was avoiding his eyes, looking to Karam to keep himself from looking.

“Yunho could you be a dear and pay the car park ticket for me, I always had a hard time with these machines.” She handed Yunho the ticket. Who looked to her…. “Right I’ll be right back,” It was only while Yunho was gone his mother turned to Jaejoong he was removing the stroller from the top of the trolley, opening it up so he could place Karam into his stroller.

“Jaejoong dear was it a rough flight….?” She could tell something was wrong. “You don’t look so well.”

Jaejoong lied, “Nothing a good few hours of sleep won’t fix.” He told her as he tried too removed his bag from the trolley with the rest of the luggage but Yunho had buried it underneath the rest of the luggage.

“Jaejoong did something happen?” She asked softly keeping an eye on Yunho to make sure he wasn’t on his way back to them just yet. “Has….

“It nothing… I’m overacting that all, I just need to rethink things out that’s all.” Jaejoong tried to put on a smile but it was difficult to lie to the woman. “I should go….

“Don’t be silly dear I came to take you all home but if you want I’ll drop you home… I was planning on you staying the night.” She could see something was wrong. “Please Jaejoong, let me take you home.”

“It’s okay I’ll get a taxi,  I don’t want to put you out of your way, can you tell Yunho I call him later.” Jaejoong wanted to leave before Yunho got back.

“Dear shouldn’t you wait until Yunho get back so you can say it yourselves…” she took Jaejoong hand in hers, “Something had obviously upset you and if you can’t speak you Yunho about it yet I would like for you to feel comfortable with me to speak to me about... Please come back to the houses with us, I can kick the boys out for the house and you and I can have a chat. I won’t mention what happened please dear I’m sure if you talk about it you’ll feel loads better.” She could see Yunho coming back from the corner of her eye. “Please reconsider….” Jaejoong nodded. Just in time before Yunho was back.

“Thank you….!”   Come on the cars this way.” He pointed them in the right direction. She stood behind the stroller pushing the stroller with Jaejoong standing close by. “Yunho you okay with the bags.

“Yeah….”His eye were on Jaejoong the whole time,

“Prefect….let’s go!”

****

During the whole car ride, Yunho couldn’t remember his eyes from Jaejoong, his mother had requested Yunho to sit in the back with his son, While Jaejoong took the front beside her. Much to her word  Mrs. Jung had kicked all the boys out of the house. Telling them  she needed them to get her a few thing in town. Jaejoong was in the kitchen with her as she prepared soon tea for the two of them.

‘Right here we are?” she placed the cup in front of Jaejoong. “Do you feel like talking?’ Jaejoong remained silent, “Is it Yunho has he said something?” She picked up on something, “So it was something!”  Yunho said. “Would you like me to speak to him….

“No…..” Jaejoong answered, “It’s not his fault….

“What is it dear…?”

“Sometimes I feel Yunho not ready….” Jaejoong tried to find the right words. “The holiday was perfect; Yunho and I were becoming closer.” He thought about it not that he was going to elaborate what had happened. “Sometimes I don’t think Yunho is ready to commitment. He’s not ready to commit to me.

“What gave you that idea?” She asked. “Yunho loves you…. he’s told us so.” She was quite surprised.

“Saying and making you feel it our two different things in the world. Don’t get me wrong there were times I know he will do anything for me, has done for me.” Jaejoong thought to Yunho coming by his apartment when he noticed he didn’t look well. “It just some moments, I’m not sure…..what he thinking? One minute he says he loves me, but the minute I say it back, it’s like he became cold emotionless toward the idea and he can’t get away from me fast enough.” Jaejoong cupped his arms around himself. “It makes you think just maybe you said something wrong,”

“Jaejoong I’m sure he doesn’t feel like that.” she reached out her hand to Jaejoong making Jaejoong look at her.

“It’s like he stuck on his wife death and it’s not me he wants.” Jaejoong didn’t blame Yunho he loved his wife.

 “Jaejoong….

“Don’t get me wrong…. His loves for his wife was strong and I understand that something you can’t get past. I know I’m not able to replace the love he had for her and I don’t want him to replace her. I just want him to open his heart wider to me too. I don’t want to be a replacement for her; I want him to love me for me…. But I think that’s what he’s struggling with.”

“Jaejoong….

“There was a moment on the flight when a flight attendant spoke to us she asked me when Karam my child, I was lost I didn’t know what to say to her. But Yunho answered her and say yes I was, and Karam loved me….

“But isn’t that great news……?” Yunho mother smiled. “Yunho and Karam love you…”   she stopped when something didn’t feel right to her.

“But you should have seen the look on his face when he said it. I could see the hurt when he said it. He regretted saying it the moment he said it even with the smile on his face.” Jaejoong almost broke down before Mrs. Jung but held it together at the last moment. “I love your son so much that it hurt. Hearing Yunho said that should have made me happy and I was, I love Karam as if he was my own, I should have been happy thrilled even Yunho saw me that way, until I saw the despair look on his face.” He took a moment to think. “I don’t think Yunho means to do it or is aware of his actions. But still an imagine can paint a thousand words.” Yunho’s mother could see how hurt Jaejoong was. It played on her heart how Jaejoong looked she could understand where Jaejoong was coming to from. But on another note, she knew how much Jaejoong had affected Yunho in the last couple of months. She had seen her son's heart open up to love again when Jaejoong came into his life. Made him smile again after so long, it was like Jaejoong had made him enjoy life again after the tragedy that Yunho saw no hope coming back for himself.

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I think Jaejoong needs to have it ot with Yunho serious... their both stuck in their own heads.... bang together

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