Haru stares blankly at the calendar on the wall. The current pages shows a month of August.

“I’m back, my daughter.”

“What are you looking at, Haru-ah? You don’t even greet me.”

“Appa…”

“What is it?”

“Appa, can we celebrate Christmas a bit earlier this year?”

“Christmas? Why?”

“I don’t think I will be around this Christmas.”

“Are you going for outstation again?”

“Hm…”

“Then, we can just celebrate it after you are back.”

“I’m afraid that I will not be around at that time too.”

“Are you that busy? Your company must be growing big to make my daughter even miss the Christmas.”

“Hm…”

“So, when will you plan to celebrate it? Next month?”

“Next week. Can we celebrate it next week, Appa?”

“Next week? Is it not too early? We are still in August, Haru-ah.”

“Let’s celebrate it by going picnic together and drive along the seaside. Can we?”

“Appa will be a bit busy next week since the new product just released. Can we plan it next month instead? I’m also thinking of getting a few days off next month.”

“Hm…okay.”

“Are you really okay, Haru-ah?”

“I’m okay, Appa. I forgot that I will be busy too next week. Let’s plan it for next month then.”

“Where should we go then?”

“It’s up to you, Appa.”

“Jeju-do?”

“Hm.”

At that night, she cannot sleep. Her chest is in a pain. She never feels pain like this before. Haru hardly walk to get her bag for a medicine. She cried out in silence as she scares that it will wake her father.

After 15minutes, the pain slowly gone. Haru hugs her leg as she suddenly feels scare. Scare for the pain. Scare that knowing she will die soon. Scare to leave her father alone. Scare as there are so many things that she has not done yet.

Haru then slowly wake up from the floor and heading to bathroom. She stands under the shower and open the water. She tears up while hitting her chest.

‘Why me? Why me? What have I done to be punished like this? Why?’

'Am i not good enough to stay alive?'