Goeun could not afford to sleep. The cold breeze of the night did not shake her even though her slim body was only wrapped by a sleeveless shirt and cardigan. The encounter with that boy really bothered her mind. Never she thought, she would meet him again. Not this way.

He had grown up. Baekhyun had become a man. No longer a spoil child who she once raised a long time ago. A very long time ago. He had become taller and undoubtedly good-looking. One thing that was never changed was his smile. The sweet smile that was so radiant to the point it was contagious. 

But that genuine yet radiant smile disappeared immediately, the moment he saw her. Goeun could see the change in his smile. It turned bitter. She could see hatred filling his eyes. It was like she was the most disgusting pest on the earth. But she was, indeed and she was well aware of it. 

Goeun hated herself. She hated herself to the extent she had desire to commite a suicide. But for the sake of her son, Jongin and her husband, Hongbin, she tried to persevere. Goeun did not want to repeat the same mistake. She did not want to leave her family anymore. Not this family. Being a devil once was more than enough. 

The woman would lie if she said she did not want to see her ex husband and their son. Goeun remorsed on what she did to them. She should be with them. Not leaving them. The birth of Jongin reminded her a lot of Baekhyun. Jongin made her reflect on her action.

Baekhyun...I miss you my dear

...

"Mom. It’s fine. I can do it myself" Jongin whined. For the umpteenth time he told his mother that he could do his necktie himself.

"I know but I love it. So it’s fine dear. I just want to make sure my son will be the most handsome guy in school" Goeun remarked, ignoring Jongin’s request. 

Jongin could not help but chuckled. Yes, he admitted that he was her mom’s spoil child. He got everything he wanted but that did not mean he was a tattle child. Jongin was grateful for having Goeun as his mother. His love towards his mother could not be expressed by words. 

"Mom. Your son is already handsome. I’ll look good in anything" Jongin burst into a huge laughter. 

Goeun cracked a smile. She hit Jongin’s chest lightly. Jongin’s joke always made her day. But her son was telling the truth. Jongin was handsome indeed. She could see many eyes watching her son when she sent Jongin to school. She wondered how girls reacted with Baekhyun. Baekhyun again...

"Mom, are you okay? I’m sorry if I say something wrong" Jongin became anxious when his mom's expression suddenly changed. 

"I’m fine. Alright! You’re done! Let’s go down or we’ll be late" Goeun tried to swept away the thought. She planted a kiss on Jongin’s cheek and linked her arm in his. Jongin shook his head and they walked together downstairs. Sometimes his mom was difficult to be understood.

His father’s voice became clearer as they were closer to the dining room and his father was not alone. Jongin could hear a foreign voice, a voice he never heard before. Their laughter was filling the air. His father did not say they would receive guest early in the morning.

"Son! Meet my new driver, Byun Baekhyun. Baekhyun, this is my son, Kim Jongin" Hongbin introduced his son to Baekhyun.

Baekhyun raised his head up to see a tall young boy. Judging from his uniform, the boy was in middle school. Baekhyun nodded in return. A smile plastered on his face just to be polite. His eyes then halted at Goeun’s arm that linked in Jongin’s. Baekhyun snorted sneakily.

Goeun who noticed Baekhyun’s  gaze immediately pulled her hand away from Jongin. Her heart thumped really fast against her chest. Baekhyun smirked at Goeun. Devil wearing a mask. Disgusting. Playing a caring mom? So talented!

"Nice to meet you! I’ve heard a lot from my father. He really adores you" Jongin chortled, totally oblivious about the tension that was growing between Baekhyun and Goeun. 

Jongin was just excited to meet Baekhyun. He did not expect the man of his father’s story to be that young. What a good company! Yes, Jongin was lonely. His envy towards his friends who had siblings was undeniable. Having Baekhyun around at least gave him the feeling of having a big brother.

"Nice to meet you too Jongin. Hongbin ssi, I’ll wait for you outside" Baekhyun stood up. His voice sounded cold. Watching that woman playing her act really disgusted him. Caring mother his ! 

"Just sit Baekhyun. Let's have breakfast together" Hongbin offered.

"Yeah. Sit down. What do you want to eat?" Goeun rushly took a plate and placed it in front of Baekhyun. 

"No thank you. I’m full. I’ve eaten with my dad earlier. My dad did not eat much so I had to finish his" Baekhyun said while looking straight into Goeun’s eyes. Goeun gulped unwittingly. Beomseok...

"I see. It’s fine. We’ll eat together next time" Hongbin replied. Baekhyun nodded in return and left. 

As Baekhyun walked pass Goeun, the woman could feel the coldness from Baekhyun, sending shivers down her spine. Goeun’s heart was again crashed into pieces. She guessed it was not easy to build their mother-son bond back. Goeun expected too much. He was not the same 9 years old Baekhyun who she left. Baekhyun’s heart had hardened as he grown up.

"Mom, are you okay?" Jongin squeezed Goeun’s hand when he caught his mother was in trance.

"Y-yes dear. Let’s eat" Goeun who was startled by Jongin quickly diverting the topic. As she spread her bread with butter, her eyes followed Baekhyun’s sillouette through the glass window.

Goeun-ah. You can do it! He is your son and you know him more than anyone in this world. A sigh escaped her lips.

Baekhyun my dear....I’m truly sorry

...
Amid the relaxing customers, laid a man and a woman side by side, reveled in the cozy and warm sensation offered by the sauna. The man had his eyes closed but kept the sweet smile of his plastered on his face. Propping her head up, the woman chose to fix her gaze to the man beside him. There was nothing more interesting other than seeing that man smiled. 

Moving closer to the man, the woman sat up. Gently, the woman placed her hand behind the man’s head and lifted his head to rest on her hips. Surprised by the sudden act, the man’s eyes fluttered open. The proximity unexpectedly made him gulped. With her hair dangled beautifully on her right shoulder and a pair of soothing eyes she had, the man almost lost his consciousness.

"A-areum, what are you doing?" Shaking his insanity back, Baekhyun asked. Did not respond to Baekhyun’s question, Areum smiled instead. Slowly, her hand traveled to Baekhyun’s head and massaged it lightly, loosened up the latter a tad.

"My late grandpa always said that I’m the best massager! I still remember how much he praised me. When I was a little girl, my grandpa always looked for me when he had strain muscle. For a little girl, his body was as hard as a rock!" Areum chuckled to the memory. His late grandfather was the person that understand her the most and Areum could not help but missed him every day.

"I admit my hands themselves would crammed after giving him a massage but I didn’t mind. I enjoyed listened to his advices when I was massaging him. He said everyone has a mirror. That mirror is someone who would listen to us without judgement. Instead, that mirror will offer his or her warm to embrace us" Areum paused before shifting her gaze towards Baekhyun.

"So Baekhyun-ah. Find a mirror for yourself. You don’t have to bear this alone. Let the mirror embraces you" Areum said softly, just enough for Baekhyun alone to hear. Areum’s words reminded him a lot of his mother. Those times before his mother turned to a monster who chased after money and fame. Those times when his mother his hair, carrassed his cheek, embraced him in her warm hug, the times when he would listen to his rant without judging. 

"I found my mirror" Yes, the man guessed he had found his mirror. But, long ago and that mirror already broke into thousand pieces it could never be mended. Baekhyun averted his gaze to Areum and looked deep into her eyes, causing the woman to gulped nervously.

"Who-"

"My mom"

...

The night was incredibly cold. The blowing wind did not make it easy either. Despite the raging coldness, Areum was standing at the balcony, drown in her thought. Her mind was fully-occupied that her sensory nerve did not work efficient enough to relay the message to her whole body. The calmness of the night failed to offer her the tranquility that she desired.

"It’’s cold outside" a deep voice snapped Areum from her thoughts, bringing her back to the reality. A thick yet warm sweater was placed around her shoulder, covering her small-build body from the cold wind. The familiar scent wafted to Areum’s nose. The scent that she loved since they were children.

"Kyungsoo-yah" Areum turned her head to have a better look of her best friend. He was still in his suit, indicating that he was just got back from work. 

"Isn’t it cold? Your lips has turned blue" Kyungsoo pointed at Areum’s almost-blue lips. Slowly he touched  Areum’s cheek and caressed it gently, feeling the coldness spread on it. It was only then the man noticed that Areum had became thinner. Her chubby cheek was not at their place anymore. 

"You’ve become thinner Areum-ah..." Worry could be found in his tone, bringing a smile on Areum’s face. This friend of hers always worried of her. He treated her like a little girl but surprisingly, she loved the attention.   That was also one of the reasons she loved this man so much.

"Don’t worry Kyungsoo. I eat even more lately. Chanyeol feeds me well" Areum let out a chuckle. She was not lying though. She really ate much! The girl guessed she would gain 10 kg in just a week if Chanyeol kept giving her food! Just imagined for every meal, that incredibly tall guy would prepare a feast! Areum assumed that Chanyeol wanted to turn her into a monster who always hunted for food.

"If that’s the case, it’s a relief" a sigh of relief escaped from  Kyungsoo’s heart-shaped lips. It was the first time he left Areum with another man and that man was a stranger to him which made him even more anxious. This anxiety that he suffered from disrupted his focus lately. Even his students caught him off guard several times.

"So where did you bring Baekhyun today?" Kyungsoo continued. 

"As you had suggested,  I brought him to the sauna. It was warm, cozy and there were not so many people at that time. So it did help. I saw him smile the whole day" Baekhyun’s smile was the best thing ever happened that day. It was still fresh in her mind how boisterous Baekhyun laughed when she accidentally broke a raw egg on her head. It did hurt but worth it.

"That explains his increasing Qweit today" Kyungsoo remarked. 

"Really??? Oh my god!" The news made Areum gasped in awe. The girl felt everything she did today was indeed worth it. It made her more determine to help Baekhyun. The man like Baekhyun deserved all the happiness in this world. 

"I need to go back" Areum permitted herself, realizing she had gone too long. She needed to go back before it struck 1.00 am or Chanyeol would realize her absent. Luckily there was a portal near Chanyeol’s condominium so she did not have to run.

"Now? But you just arrived..." Kyungsoo felt reluctant to let Areum go. He missed her so much. He missed the days when there were only Areum and him. No one else. Those days when Areums attention was only on him. He sounded selfish but yes, he missed that Areum.

"I’m sorry Kyungsoo. I’m really sorry but I really have to go" Areum herself was reluctant to go as well. She knew how hard it was for Kyungsoo to let her go but she did not have other choice. She could only hope that Kyungsoo could understand her. 

On her way back, there was a thought that bothering her mind.

Am I too greedy?
...

Walking on her toes, Areum walked silently to her room as she refused to wake Chanyeol up. She was 30 minutes late! The regret for not coming back right after the siren rang hit her but she smashed that thought. At least, she got to see Kyungsoo. A smile crept on her face as Kyungsoo’s calm demeanor appeared in her mind.

Papers were strewn everywhere on the floor, making it harder for Areum to look for place to step. Chanyeol’s laptop was left on the sofa, unattended. It was not shutted down neither left on sleep mode, leaving Areum  in wonder. The girl was very sure Chanyeol was asleep when she left. Did he wake up?

A noise from the kitchen startled Areum. Her adrenaline gushed in her vein, causing the girl’s heartbeat to elevate. Her little mind began to create dreadful yet malice imaginations. Those terrifying scenes in movies kept replaying at the back of her mind.  Unwittingly, Areum gulped in fear. How she wished Kyungsoo was there but it was futile. No way that man would come no matter how loud she shouted.

Mustering her dwindling courage, Areum tiptoed to the kitchen. The light was on and she found the cabinet was opened. Her gaze then flitted to the floor where pills were scattered everywhere. Her eyes then stopped to a familiar figure laying unconscious with sweat running down his sideburn. Areum’s eyes widened in ulter shock.

"Park Chanyeol!"

...

Hi guys! I'm back!!! I'm sorry I took a very long time.Foundation really kills me! But nahh i've finished my foundation yeay! So I can focus writing my aff but don't expect a fast update TT I miss writing so much. It is upsetting that I forget a few vocabulary that I need to look back at my own aff LOL However thank you for reading! Comments are much appreciated :))