*Continuation of Spoiler*

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I was a coward...

Immature.

Very fickle minded.

I didn't know any better.

 That was all back then.

"Woooooh!" She clapped and cheered at the sight of her girlfriend dancing to our song. The rest of the members and the fans did the same.

It makes me happy seeing her like this. She looks so much better rather than when we were together. I guess I gave her a hard time.

But truth be told? I regret my decisions.

She stepped up front to do her rap, part of fan service I guess, casually leaving her girlfriend's side.

Her girlfriend just stood there, quite awkward, but still looking proud at her.

If that was me back then, I would've gotten annoyed at her.

Yeah... The immature Krystal that was always pampered and spoiled by her.

I made my way to her girlfriend. She must've been surprised as she slightly bowed when I approached.

"Krystal ssi." She genuinely smiled.

She knows. Amber doesn't keep secrets from her, and she fully understands.

She trusts her words, that we're just bestfriends now.

I couldn't help but smile back. She's such a very nice person. They both deserve each other I guess.

"Irene unnie. Thanks for the food you brought us earlier."

She's caring and supportive too.

"It's nothing. It's just my simple way of showing support. Besides, you guys have gone through a lot."

Her smile never faltered. She's really sweet.

"Well, I've got to go down the stage now. I still need to meet with the staffs. I don't want to disturb her and cut her time with your fans." She said, looking at Amber who's now happily singing with the fans.

See? Even very understanding at that. She knows how Amber treasures and adores our fans.

"I'll just tell her unnie." 

She looked at me, a grateful smile in her face as she once again bowed. "Thanks Krystal ssi." 

Before she could leave, I held her back to say something.

"Just Krystal, unnie."

---

"Hey... Where'd Joohyun say she'll go again?" Amber asked as we all exited our waiting room.

It looks like she's worried already. 

Was she like this to me when we were together back then? I don't really know. She must've been, it's just that, I didn't even tried to notice.

And I regret that.

Because of that, Victoria unnie started to poke fun at her. "What? Miss your girlfriend already?" She said with a grin, even emphasizing the word 'girlfriend'.

Yes, they know. 

Luna unnie was so worried about it at first, but now, both of them accepts and understands it. The Red Velvet members know too.

The two of them personally told us their relationship, hand in hand as they did.

And I really commend Irene unnie for having the courage to do so. 

It was thing that I never possessed back then.

I was too afraid.

As for the members, they supported them in trying to hide their relationship from the higher ups that might threaten them and break them apart.

Like how they did to me.

But I think if it ever comes to them, for sure Irene unnie will fight alongside Amber.

Something I wasn't able to do.

"She said they still need to be in a short meeting with the staff." I gladly informed her. 

"Oh." Amber uttered, looking at me. She must've not expected that I 
knew where her girlfriend is. "Can we wait for her then? She said to me earlier that she wants all of us to have dinner together. My treat!" 

She looks happy, genuinely happy. 

"You guys go."

At my words, all of them turned to me with questioning looks.

"I need to be elsewhere." I continued in a firm and convincing tone. I didn't want them to question further. 

It's true that I have to be someplace else. I guess this kinda helps co'z it means that I won't be seeing them together.

Because it hurts.

It still hurts to see the both of them together, yes, but I don't think I'm in the right position to be hurt.

I was the one who dumped her.

The one who hurt her.

The one who didn't fought for her.

And despite all that, she still ended up wanting to save the friendship we have, to continue from there and not damage the group.

"Where to? Can't you really stay even just for a while Krys? I really want us to celebrate our win together." 

And there goes her eyes. Her soft and pleading eyes.

A thing that I've always found cute when she does.

But this kind of feelings for her... It cannot exist in my heart anymore.

It shouldn't.

She has Irene now.

And I also know that she's doing this not because she wants to be with me. It's because she wants to be together with all of us.

Still that warm and loving person who values her friends. 

Good thing Victoria unnie is quick to catch up and sense this kinds of situations as she saves me from Amber's pleads.

"Aish. Don't be like that Amber. What if Krystal has plans to see her boyfriend then?"

I know unnie is just teasing, but if she only knew.

On the other hand, Amber looked surprised. "Y-you have a boyfriend?"

Before any of the members get any ideas, I immediately denied, frantically waving my hands in panic as I tried to search for an explanation in my mind.

"It's fine Soojung. Who's the lucky guy?"

It wasn't her trying to joke around with the rest.

It wasn't forced nor pretentious.

What she just said feels so genuine, even having that reassuring smile on her face.

And how she called me by my real name like that, something she hadn't done for a long time. 

But why does it feel like she's digging a much deeper hole in my heart?

I was about to spat out probably a very stupid answer until all our attention was suddenly snatched away by the clicking of heels that slowly went our direction.

And speaking of...

"Joohyun."

Her name was said endearingly.

She lit up at the presence of her girlfriend and ran towards her, hugging her happily as she lifted her up and spun her around.

Have I mentioned how they look perfect together? 

They do.

Seems like she's really moved on.

Good for her.

As Amber put Irene down, well mannered as she is, the latter bowed to the three of us while the former placed an arm around her shoulders.

It's sweet, really.

How Amber would worry for her, would take care of her. While Irene would always support her to the fullest, and is very proud of her.

I'm somewhat glad that Amber found someone like Irene.

And not another spoiled annoying girl like me.

Now, she's well taken care of.

I don't want to interrupt their moment, but I just can't bear how my chest tightens every time Amber looks at her with so much love evident in her eyes. 

"Guys, I should go." I said in the most regardful way possible.

Irene was now the one to give me a confused look. "You're leaving already Krystal?"

An apologetic smile left my lips as my reply came. "Yes unnie. I'm sorry. I already had a prior engagement."

Amber pouts and Irene just gives me an understanding look.

I waved the four of them goodbye and proceeded to the parking lot of the broadcasting station. As I got out of the building, I easily spotted him standing outside his car waiting for me.

From afar I could already see him smile, chicly waving as soon as he saw me.

"How was your day Soojung?"

He's actually a great guy. Very gentlemanly and has a nice sense of humor. The company even said that we look so great together, add the fact that a lot of our fans think that our personalities really compliment each other's. 

If ever a news breaks out about the two of us dating... It'll surely be the talk of the town. 

Their dubbed 'Ice Prince' and 'Ice Princess' dating each other. 

A great form of publicity for an entertainment company.

"It was great. We won today."

It would help both our group's popularity they said. I'll learn to like him back they said, and a lot more of these things they said just to make me do this.

But more to these reasons, I agreed to 'date' him because of their threat to expose my relationship with Amber back then if I didn't.

Co'z they did found out that we're secretly dating.

A thing that would not just ruin both our careers if it gets out to the public, but would greatly affect the whole group as well. To the extent that they will disband our group because of it.

Which is why I chose to carry the burden myself. With no one knowing but me and Kai.

That's how little our company values us as a group.

"Well you guys are f(x) after all." That proud smile of him showed.

The compliment made me smile back.

Without anymore words, he opened the car door for me gesturing for me to get in, which I immediately did.

He's actually kind of sweet, and a nice person at that.

He too knew my past with Amber.

But he never judged me, nor her. 

He even comforted me at those times I felt really bad about myself for hurting that one person I considered my everything. He was the one who saw my tears after I broke up with Amber.

And the thing that actually amazed me is that even though he knew about these things, he took the risk of confessing that he really actually has feelings for me.

I didn't want to hurt anyone anymore so I honestly told him that I'm still not ready, but instead of giving up like anyone else would've done, he didn't. 

He said he'll wait until I'm ready.

Until I'm ready to take this publicity stunt into something real. Until I'm ready to open my heart again for someone.

He wants to take a chance.

"So... Dinner?"

I just nodded when he looked at me.

That same chance that I gave her but ended up breaking us apart, leaving visible cracks in our relationship.

"You pick the place, Kai."

Should I also take a chance?

---

The news came too fast, and I wasn't ready.

No one informed me that they'll be releasing the article as soon as this. 

And I haven't even told my members yet.

Before I went to China for this event we're attending, the company called me and Kai for a meeting about the 'dating' stunt we're pulling off. Since we already have enough 'dates' that they made Dispatch capture for 'proof', they now want to publicize our relationship before Exo does a comeback. A lot of explanation was thrown here and there as to why we should do it, but I just didn't care anymore. In the end, they'll just do what they want anyway. So even though Kai hesitated, I agreed.

Also, I know better than to rebel from the company. I don't want anything bad to happen to f(x) if I do.

But again, they didn't say when they're going to release the article. Just my luck that they released it while I'm here in China with the members. At least I'll be able to dodge tons of media interviews and such.

Well except for the hate from his so called 'fans'.

I started receiving tons of tags on IG with self harming pictures in it and also hate on various social media.

I knew this would happen. I was ready. But it even though I am, I'll be a hypocrite if I say that I'm not hurt. 

Yes our relationship might not be real at this point, but still... It's too much.

 A few hours after the news hit the media, I started receiving calls. From him, my friends, my family, and a lot more.

I can't bear to burden my parents with something like this so I didn't tell them the truth, but I did tell my sister.

Jess is the only one who would listen and try to understand why I did this. She comforted me throughout our conversation and promised that she'll talk to me in person soon.

Vic unnie also called, saying that she's happy that I'm in a relationship now but was also worried at the same time. Same with Luna unnie who congratulated me through text and also said that I should just ignore the hate. 

I apologized to them for not telling them ahead of time but just like with my parents, I couldn't bear to tell them the truth, besides the company wouldn't let me either. In the end, I reassured the both of them that I'll be fine. 

Maybe I should convince myself that too, co'z right now, I just don't wanna cry. I can't cry. I'm the one who brought this upon myself anyway.

Yet, amidst all these hate and support I'm getting right now, I was waiting for a certain someone to call, or text, or talk to me in person, or just to simply send me a reaction about the news. But that certain person didn't. 

The day was almost done and the only thing that's left is to attend the event we're supposed to perform in and still, nothing from her.

Not until I saw her inside the van waiting for us. She looked at me not with her usual dorky smile, but with something more caring and heartfelt. 

With Luna unnie having not arrived yet, I freely sat beside her. Awkwardly, I muster to start the conversation.

"About my dating news—"

But before I could even make sense with what I'm going to say, she pulled me in for a hug, which surprised me.

It's been so long since we did, so long since I've felt her like this. And the most bizarre thing is that, it seems like her hug was piecing me together.

"It's fine Soojung. And those bashers and haters? They're just jealous and have nothing better to do in life. Ignore them."

Her words were short, but felt really sincere. Her worry, care, and protectiveness evident in the gesture. 

"Thanks Am." Was all I said after she pulled away and ruffled my hair, adding that dorky smile that made me giggle.

We only performed two songs that night and just sat at our table in front of the stage after to wait for the event to finish. All throughout, Amber kept on being that naughty little kid that I need to look after. She kept on teasing me, talking about things that aren't really important, and making me laugh with her lame jokes. 

I know she just wants me to cheer up, given that I can still see that worry in her eyes. 

And I'm thankful that she's doing this. 

I laughed heartily at her antics as I grabbed her shoulders and made her sit still. As she turned to me, I saw how her hair got messy so I fixed it for her. After I did, she leaned in close to my ear and said the words I never knew I actually needed.

"I'm happy for you."

Maybe I should fully move on, take a chance, be brave to risk again. To fill up this emptiness in me and be happy again just like her.

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I know. I'm really sorry if this took too long! Please don't be angry at me! T.T
I really just have TOO MUCH schoolwork since I go to class from morning till night. College people problems. T.T

Another thing. I also know. This isn't a happy ending at all!!! To all those who requested a happy ending, again, I'm sorry! I just can't picture this two shot like that. :(

But I promise the next time I make a Kryber, it'll be fluff! :)

Next up will be TaeNy! Wait for it? ;)

Till next time!
Author out!

Peace!