A lot of people said I'm too kind for her anyways. That it's fine that I ended things with her co'z she can come off too clingy and bossy. All of them, my 'friends', say the same thing, bad mouthing her like they knew her like the palm of their hand.

But they don't.

I'm sure her 'friends' do that too. Bad mouth me in front of her just to 'comfort' her.

But even though they might not know me, there's a high chance that they're right.

"Yeah, just call me a bad person."

I remember saying that to her somewhere in between my 'break-up speech'. How lame of me to use that just because I thought it would be better to let her go.

I was selfish.

I wasn't confident enough in making her happy.

I tried to ignore her. I became cold. But that wasn't my true feelings.

It's been months. Months of hiding here in this place just to avoid her, to not see her again, and to not make me regret my decisions and swallow all my pride just to have her back. Co'z truth be told, I still love her. And I'm a jerk to leave her hanging and hurting just like that. She's far too precious for a lying cowardly jerk like me. Which is probably why her sister hates my guts.

But then she found me, every piece of my efforts, moving on from her, instantly came crashing down.

"Hey." She offered a small smile.

"H-hey." I tried my best to smile in return, but I don't know if I did well.

Her's didn't falter though. She even giggled, probably because she noticed that I'm stuttering. I missed how she shyly giggles like that. Slightly covering and looking at me as if I'm the most adorable person in the world, even uttering a soft "Gwiyoweo~" with it. But the 'gwiyoweo' bit was just my imagination as of now. As if she'll say something like that after I broke up with her. Oh how I could feel my subconscious rolling it's eyes at me right now.

In contrast to my rather nervous, and anxious self, she looked rather calm. And to be honest she didn't looked bothered seeing me again. Is it because she has completed moved on from me? 

"So, can I get an Iced Americano from the most gorgeously handsome barista in here this morning?"

Is she joking? How is she able to say right now?

She's loving this. I just know it. She loves seeing me get flustered, confused, and just a complete mess. She loves that she has that effect on me.

I may have took a lot of time organizing my thoughts as to why she's doing this that it made her talk and wake me up from my daze.

"I'm referring to you Ber, if that's what you're thinking. So, Ice Americano?"

Her voice was like a splash of water that made me move immediately. "O-of course prin— Krys! On it!"

Why on earth did I almost call her 'princess'?! This is freakin embarrassing. I could literally feel my ears get hot because of embarrassment! Quickly, I turned my back to make her the order, and to avoid further mortification. Then I heard her stifle a cute laugh. 

But I shouldn't give in to her. I was the one who broke up with her, the one who hurt her, just because I cannot stand up for my love for her. 

Such a coward, Ber.

I finished making the coffee as fast as I can and was ready to serve it to her with a plan already devised in my head to just ignore her as politely and not rude as possible. But when I got to her and saw her brightly smiling, my well devised plan suddenly disappeared in my head, like magic I tell you. Like magic!

Maybe it's her gaze? Maybe it's how she brushed her long brown locks back with her fingers? Maybe it's that precious smile? Or, for the love of God I hope not, maybe it's just because it's her. 

"Here's your coffee." This time, I know I successfully smiled, handing out the beverage.

"Thanks Ber." She replied sincerely, cocking her head slightly to the side in a very cute manner. 

I was expecting her to tease me further, or maybe to just initiate some small talk perhaps, but I stood there for quite some time and there was nothing. Maybe I shouldn't have expected. For all I know she might still be angry at me and is just trying to be polite. 

It might be out of confusion as to why I'm still frozen in front of her that her expression changed to her normal, blank expression, that always gives me that burning, scary feeling even though it's literally just her, staring. 

Okay plan B. Since I can't seem to ignore her just like that, I'll just initiate some talking.

And the stupidest thing just happened, or to be much clearer, I just did the stupidest thing that I could do right now. 

"I'm sorry." I said to her sincerely.

Now I'm really living up to the nickname 'stupid' that she gave me.

Why?!

Of course I was really sorry and guilty of what I've done to her, but now is really not the right time. 

So I don't know why I freakin' said that?!

Being that kind of person that's easy to read, I already felt how my facial expression said it all after I uttered those words, but again for like the nth time, she just laughs.

"It's fine." Compared to her sniggers, her words were said in a bittersweet manner.

And that was the only thing that I kind of predicted right. That she would just say those words and shrug it off, not because she doesn't care, but because she doesn't want to dwell on the feelings the word 'sorry' garners. She's a girl like that. She might look a bit intimidating at first sight, but she's a very sensitive and sentimental one.

Causing the awkward moment that's now spreading between the both of us, I felt the need to change the topic, even though I just miserably failed in plan A, which is to ignore her, and plan B which is to talk to her. 

Let's move to plan C. Small talk, that sounds... Quite okay.

"Uh.. If you don't mind me asking, what brings you here in Jeonju K-Krystal?"

Gosh I can't seem to stop stuttering at her name.

"Sorry, but I mind." Her expression changed in a flash. "Asking that is kinda creepy, don't ya think?" She said with one of her eyebrows raised, throwing a question back at me.

Did I mention how she can make me really flustered? I think I have, and I will stress it out again. SHE MAKES ME REALLY FLUSTERED.

Not knowing what to say next, I just froze there again, dumbfounded.

"Yah! I'm just joking okay?" She cracks up, hitting me lightly on my arm, maybe finding my reaction too funny. "I'm here for business. You know, my older sister and her clothing line. I really don't know why I always run errands for that midget."

Like I said, she might be intimidating, but she's not that kind of girl.

"C'mon. You being here just negates that irritated tone in your voice. You love Jess that you'll do as much as lessen her stress by attending some of her stuff that actually bores you to death." I stated a bit matter of factly, which earned a chuckle from her. "Also, being the Vice President of her company doesn't mean that you're excused from stuff like this right?" Garnering some courage, I also .

Just like the old days. Us and our childish, sometimes witty, banter.

It's nice like this.

"Well you're not wrong about that. I do love my sister, thank you very much for putting that out in a very... Enlightening way." She scrunches her face in the cutest way possible, teasing me back. A thing that I always found really adorable, up till now. "And maybe coming here wasn't as bad as I expected it would be." 

Now I can't help but get surprised and confused as she said that last sentence looking at me, smiling. I swear my eyes are now popping out.

Was that supposed to be for... me?

"Anyway, my turn." Swiftly, this girl changes the topic. "How did the aspiring Singer–Psychiatrist end up here in Jeonju? I'd never thought I'd see you working at a café here."

You know why?

I was broke back then. I desperately needed a job, to live and be able to eat three times a day. I was ashamed of myself that I wasn't able to continue my studies, to reach my dream, and to even just find a stable job. I felt really small and undeserving of a pretty, goal-driven, and rich girlfriend. And with her parents' hate towards me, I decided to break up, not telling her the truth on why I did. It won't matter, her parents are right anyways. I'm broke and I won't be able to give their daughter a nice life and in the end I would end up just leeching from her.

I'm here co'z I want to move on, to escape from the thing that I regretted doing the most. 

Breaking up with you.

That's what I wanted to say. "Oh, nothing really. Just needed to be away from the busy city, and eventually I continued studying here while working part time at this cafe." 

But saying those things won't change the fact that I'm a jerk and I've hurt her.

Krystal just nods as a reaction. "Do you still sing then?" She now asks in a hopeful manner. Back then she was the one who always supports my singing and was the one who convinced me into pursuing music, along with my dreams of being a Psychiatrist.

"Yeah, I still do." Even if singing had always reminded me of her, I still do. Maybe that's why I haven't moved on yet, or rather maybe it's just simple. I still have feelings for her.

Her face screamed relief and excitement when I revealed that. "I miss hearing you sing you know."

Hearing those words from her made me feel really happy. I'm not the only one missing her, she also misses me. I felt a small smile crept my face in an instant when I remember something. "Well you could hear me sing again, that's if you'd stay here in Jeonju for a little while longer."

Not understanding what I said, she asks for clarification with a simple "Huh?"

"I also perform at this café every Wednesday nights, and I get extra pay for it!"

Wednesday, which is tomorrow night. I hope she stays...

"Well I'll actually be here for 3 more days..."

I got instantly elated by the news, but when her tone suddenly changed, there was this tugging feeling in my heart.

"... But I'm not sure about tomorrow night. I'll be meeting—"

"Soojung-ah!"

Someone suddenly hollered her name. Both of us turns to where the voice came from, and there I saw a tall, blond haired, gorgeous girl, dressed really fashionable, with monolid eyes smiling at Krystal's direction, making her charming eyes form crescents and almost disappear. 

"Seulgi-ah! How'd you know I'm here?"

Before the girl answered Krystal's question, she happily sat close to her first and wrapped her arm around the latter's waist comfortably 

"I have my ways babe." The girl now smiles even more.

Babe... 

The pet name worsened the feeling in my heart. It's as if someone is clenching on it now.

Krystal's girlfriend.

"Yah! Be polite! I'm talking to someone here." Krystal reprimands the girl... with a chuckle? 

"Oh sorry!" The girl now turns to me with an apologetic look and bows.

"No no no! It's fine!"

"It's not fine Ber." Clicking her tongue, Krystal interrupts. "Amber, this here is my cute little bear Seulgi. And Seul, this gorgeously handsome girl right here is Amber!" She said in a very cheerful tone, looking at the girl named Seulgi.

Looks like she's proud of introducing her girlfriend huh? Seulgi is lucky to have her. 

"Nice to meet you Amber!" Seulgi extends a hand as she said her words. I took it for a handshake. She seems like a very nice and bright person. Krystal chose well this time then.

"Nice to meet you too Seulgi!" I replied back, trying my best to smile at this situation. 

Smile Amber. Look bright and unaffected.

But the longer I see them, the more I feel the regret, the longing, how I miss her and how I wished I didn't break up with her. How I was a fool for doing so.

"I– uh... I need to go now, Krys, Seulgi. A lot of customers are already coming in, I'd be dead meat if my boss sees me hanging here." I tried to reason out to them, slowly backing away from what would be my doom if stay any more longer.

"But Ber about your perfor—"

"I'll just see you guys around!" I shouted as I ran away from the scene.

That's the one of the things I'm good at anyways. Running away.

---------------------------------

Inspired  by Monsta X's song "Ex Girl".

There'll be a second part! Please kindly and patiently wait for it! :)

Author out!
Peace!