"Hey Princess."

"Yeah, hi." Came the reply from the other line.

There it is again. That unusual cold tone from her. Not the irritated nor bored kind, but that apathetic one.

It's been almost 2 years since we got together, and mind you, those were the happiest times for the both of us. Being committed to each other, living our not so normal 'idol' lives as we hide our relationship as couple, and being able to work together doing what we both love to do.

Even with the ups and downs, serious and not-so-serious fights, both of us managed to go through all of it hand in hand.

But these past few months, I'm not really sure what had happened.

Everything has just gotten dull, and I hate myself for being this sensitive to notice.

Cause I shouldn't.

But then again, she's been really busy for her drama lately.

I guess that's just it... Right?

"Looks like filming is taking a toll on you huh?"

A simple hum was her answer. 

She actually likes to talk. Well, not really that much to others, but more or less she just loves to tell me how her day went and stuff. More like storytelling?

But where was the girl who always talks about nonsense? Where's the person who likes to babble about her favorite bread or on where to eat later? 

The thing is, I don't know either..

I want to find her... Bring her back, but I think it's too late.

But it wouldn't hurt more if I try... Right? 

Speaking of eat..

"Have you eaten yet? You shouldn't skip meals you kno—"

Her sudden loud sigh made me stop from even continuing what I wanted to say next. "I haven't eaten. And yes, I know okay?"  

Now there's that irritation. She doesn't want to talk anymore, does she?

"What is it anyway? Why'd you call?"

Or maybe she's too busy to talk. Might be memorizing some of her lines or just trying to take a nap on the set? I just hope I didn't disturb her.  

"Nothing important really. I... I just wanted to hear your voice and have a short talk. I'm also kinda worried, since you've been working nonstop these days." Shyly, I confessed to her, even lowering my head as if she could see me and rubbing the back of my neck due to embarrassment.

Also, discreetly admitting that I miss her.

"I understand if you can't talk right now though. Were you memorizing perhaps? Sorry to disturb you."

Apparently, she noticed that tinge of guilt in my voice fast enough to quickly negate my thoughts. 

"No no. I– I'm not busy." She stutters at that. "Filming is actually done and we're just packing up."

Silence ensued after that. Quite short but awkward, which I'm really not used to.

Back then, the lack of conversation was never an issue, because for both of us, it's comfortable and somewhat relieving. Just having each other by our side or hearing each other's steady breaths was like a beautiful melody to our ears.

As the killing stillness pressed on, my weird mind suddenly thought of maybe a good idea.

"Princess, you said you haven't eaten right?"

My princess never denies a free meal.

"Yes I haven't. But Amber... I.. Uhmm..."

"Let's have dinner together then. C'mon, I'll be paying." 

Maybe I was too confident that she'll say yes as this stupid smile plastered on my face won't just fade. I'm really sure that my manager thinks I look weird right now.

But then, that easily faltered with her answer.

"Sorry Amber, but can we just go some other time? I–ah–uhmm.. I'm kinda tired. I'm really sorry."

How can I not even see that coming. The hints were already there but I still pushed through this dumb idea. 

I shouldn't have been ignorant. 

Maybe it's to comfort my thoughts of her not wanting to talk to me.

It's just that, I want to see her... Even just for a couple of minutes or seconds.

"It's fine, I understand Princess." Yeah, I do, just because it's her. But I know for myself how much I looked forward for her to say 'yes' to my invitation. 

I miss being with her. Our fun filled bickering, chatting the day away with her, those bright and genuine smiles, and her adoring stares that just melts me every time. 

Now, it's not how it used to be anymore.

But this kind of thing is normal for people that's in a relationship. 

It's just a phase... Right?

I felt a bitter smile crept through my lips as I uttered my next words.

"Rest well and don't get sick...

... I love you."

 It's like my heart almost fell from her own hold when at some point, she stuttered and sounded somewhat unsure with her reply..

"Y-yeah... L-lo–love you. Bye."

And it was cut at that.

No more of her sweet voice. All that she left me was that cold goodbye.

Yes, we're like this now, and I'm really not sure why.

Even how much she tries to hide it and let it all just slip away, the in' hell I can see it. I can feel it.

But we can fix whatever this is. We're  gonna get through this... Together... Right?

---

Everything was all blurry and I can't barely see a thing because of the the tears in my eyes that I didn't even notice were there.

I sat up and looked around, drying my eyes in the process. 

It was all dark, but from a distance I saw Krystal looking at me with those cold eyes.

That look that I fear the most because of how emotionless they are..

I started running towards her, calling out her name.

"Krystal!" 

It was no use though. She just stayed rooted at her spot. That's when I realized that even though how much I ran, our gap wouldn't close.

But that didn't hinder me from chasing her. She just bitterly smiled at me from afar.

"Krystal wait!"

Turning her back against me, she started to walk away.

No. She can't... No.

I fastened my pace to be able to catch her, but nothing.

Just then, a hand suddenly grabbed my arm, and when I looked back, I saw a swarm of hands coming out of nowhere trying to grab me.

As the hands took a hold of me – my arms, wrists, legs, almost my whole body – abruptly holding me down, preventing me to move.

Being in this desperate situation, I tossed my limbs around just to get out of the hold of these numerous hands.

"Krystal! Don't go! Please!"

She didn't even turn back.

Why?

Why?!

Does she not want to see me?

Does she want to get away from me?

Is she... Fed up with me?

I barely noticed that I stopped running. Now, I'm kneeling on the wet cold floor letting myself succumb to those hands that are now dragging me away from her.

The tears that started to flow out of my eyes as I stared back at her. 

She's so far now.

 With everything that's left of me, I shouted to her once more.

"Krystal!"

This time, she looked back. Same cold expression plastered on her face.

I know I have to stop her from walking away.

I just know I do.

I don't want her to leave, co'z if she does, I know she'll never come back.

"I need you."

Just then, everything turned pitch black.

I frantically sat up panting so hard, catching my breath as I felt a shortage of air while feeling the cold bids of sweat running down my body.

It was just a dream.

Much more like a nightmare.

A depiction of a break up... Our break up.

But that's just a dream... Right?

A deep sigh left my mouth. Everything that's been happening to us... It's just too cliché—like an angst drama

Too much to the point that I'm starting to fear of what might happen.

And I hate it.

I ruffled my hair in outmost annoyance.

I shouldn't be overthinking at this hour. Today is her last day for drama filming. I already decided to give her a surprise visit tonight to show my support.

She'll probably love that.

With that thought in mind, I got up from bed and started to get ready. I even personally made her a banner which says, 'Great work, Princess.'

As I arrived at her shoot's location, I discreetly penetrated their set with the help of our manager and some staffs.

I want to surprise her.

Trying to blend in with the staffs, I stood among them, behind the director. There I saw her, passionately doing something she dearly love.

Seeing her like this makes me so proud of her.

The director shouted 'cut' and that was my cue. I raised the banner that I made, drawing the eyes of some of the people on set. I saw how some of them started smiling, and her slowly shifting her attention to me after her co-actor pointed me out.

A hearty smile crept up my face as she noticed me amongst the crowd. 

Her face screamed surprise at the sight of me proudly holding the banner up. She ran her hand through her hair, biting her lip as she lowered her head.

The director kind of shouted or announced something, probably saying that they did a good job, but I didn't quite get what it was. Maybe because I was too focused on her when she looked back at me with a small smile on her lips.

I don't know how or why, but it's different. The smile she offered is different from the previous ones she used to give me...

It's somewhat... Sad?

Slowly, I lowered the banner as she walked towards me. She stopped in front of me, leaving an uncomfortable distance. She was close to me, yet she seemed to have gotten far.

"Congrats. You did great princess."

That was the only thing that left my mouth. I wanted to hug her, or even just simply pat her back for doing a great job, but I just froze there, smile never faltering even when I can clearly feel an air of indifference.

"Thanks Am." Was her short reply as she took the banner from my hand, looking intently at it. "Really, thank you. I appreciate it."

But why does it feel like it's not just the banner she's talking about? Why do those words have a bittersweet sense to it.

I hate this feeling.

And those eyes, those crystal clear eyes. I can see how it's hiding the sadness, and perhaps guilt, behind the gratefulness her face is trying to show.

Why must I be so keen about this things?

I hate being like this.

"You must be tired. Have you eaten yet? I'll drive you home after we eat dinner?" I asked, trying my best to shake off all these baseless thoughts.

It's just my own sentiment, and this feeling might all just be a big misunderstanding... Right?

"Well, yes I already ate." She meekly nodded at that. "But I'll take that drive home." 

And that's how we both ended inside my car, she's on shotgun, eyes outside the window, while here I am, driving and enduring the pressing silence, too afraid to say anything.

Exactly when did we came to this?

I stopped the car as we arrived in front of her apartment.

I took a glance at her and saw how tightly her fists was clenched onto the hem of her skirt while she's biting hard on her lower lip.

She's nervous.

"Amber, I have—"

"So how was it working with Rain?"

I'm more nervous.

"Hey, I have something to—"

"I heard he's a great actor. Well considering his movie 'Ninja'."

Worried.

"Listen Am please—"

"He looks like a really nice person you know."

Afraid.

"Let me talk for a sec—"

"NO!" I slammed the steering wheel hard. I know where this is going... I can feel it. "I don't want you to talk Krys! I don't want to hear it! I already know what you're gonna say! And I don't want to!"

I didn't realize I started shouting. I've never ever shouted at her before, maybe that's why she looks so taken aback.

"Let me just explai—"

"I said no."

"AMBER!" She also raised her voice. 

It wasn't scary... It was more like, heartbreaking. And it made me stop from trying to escape whatever it is she seriously wants to talk about.

This can't be it... Right?

Her eyes started to wander, it laid itself on anything but mine. "Amber, let's not continue this anymore... Let's... Let's break up." 

I knew it. I already saw it coming. But I kept on ignoring it, pushing myself to believe that there might be a turn of events, that maybe I was just overthinking and misunderstanding things.

I barely noticed that I was now crying. I've never cried in front of her, but here I am.

"Why? Was there something wrong? If I have to fix something just tell me Krys! But let's not do it like this."

"There's nothing to fix Amber. I just can't continue like this anymore. All this hiding and secretly loving each other, not being able to be just like a normal couple." She pointed at the two of us. "Because this. This is frowned upon in this country. I'm tired of this."

"Tired of this? Or tired of us?"

I didn't know why I said that, but I saw how my question shocked her. 

I know I made my point clear to her, but she didn't answer my question. Instead, she looked at me, and I saw sadness in her eyes as she said, 

"Please don't make this any harder for me Am..."

Her words hit me right in the chest.

You really are stupid, aren't you Amber? 

I gripped the steering wheel tight.

"I'll be going now." She said, taking her bag and is about to leave. But I immediately stopped her, I held her hand and desperately looked at her.

I can't lose her.

No.

I need her.

I love her...

"Please Krys... Please... Can we not break up?" 

She didn't say anything. She just sat still, her eyes shut as a heavy sigh escaped .

Her actions made it all clear. I let her hand go, and as I did she looked at me. All along she wasn't apathetic, co'z as soon as I looked straight into her eyes, there's only one thing that I saw. Sadness. And all I could say was, "I understand. I'm sorry."

Within a matter of seconds, she got out of the car and walked towards her apartment building.

And I was left there, crying as I watch her leave.

----------

Here's another KryBer guys! This was inspired by Epik High's song, Spoiler. Thank you so much for the love you give to these stories! Thank you very much! Also, I really do appreciate the comments! I read them! ;) If you have any pairing request, just tell me okay? :D 

Also, would you guys like a second part in Krystal's P.O.V? ;) 

Author out! 

Peace!