Cafés are much more interesting at night. A lot of people with different stories come in. People who want to spend some alone time for themselves, some with problems that they want to escape even for just a moment, some trying to find resolve, or others feeling sympathy from the bitterness of the coffee they're enjoying. 

But most of them are just workaholics who come here and order coffee and drink for almost an hour or two to be able to use the free wifi we offer.

Not that I'm complaining though. 

The thing is, having these different kinds of people be my audience is what I like about performing at night. I get to see how these people react to the music that I make. 

And another factor is that Wednesday nights are my only available time as of now.

"Hey Amber!" My co-worker Henry hollers.

I immediately ran to him and choke slammed him, feeling really nice at seeing my friend tonight. "Yah! Be quiet you! Ailee unnie is performing!" I scolded him, loudly whispering at his ears. Since one of our friends is now performing a song on stage, I worried that he would disrupt.

"Arasseo arasseo! Let go now!"

And as this fellow requested, I let go.

"So, is that girl you've been flirting with yesterday here?" Wriggling his eyebrows and shoving me, Henry teases.

How the hell is this guy so observant and chatty?

I rarely get truly angry at him even if he's like this though. Henry is like a real older brother to me, might he be really noisy and sometimes trashy, he's a relatively nice guy. 

"How many times do I have to tell you that I wasn't flirting with her." I said with my arms crossed. Defensive mechanism I guess. "And besides... She's my ex girlfriend."

Now it comes back to me again. That feeling when Seulgi came in yesterday and called her 'babe', reminding me of how much of a jerk I am. Add the fact that before that happened, she said that she'll be meeting someone tonight, in which I highly guess must be Seulgi, that means she won't be able to be here and see me perform. I was too hopeful because of her actions, but it might be that she's just trying to save the friendship we both treasure. Maybe it's fate that's now telling me to give up and move on.

Well I was almost there, not until I saw her yesterday. Now I need to start from scratch again...

"Yah!" I felt a stinging pain at the back of my head as I heard Henry shout at me. "You okay? I've been talking like forever here and you're just staring at the floor."

Instantly, I shot him a glare. "How can I be okay if you hit my head like that?"

Maybe it's to avoid the impending hell that I was about to give him, so he quickly sends me a peace sign and smiles. "Mianhae Amber. I was just checking if you're still alive from the heartbreak you received yesterday."

Now that didn't help at all.

As I was about to choke slam him again, my actions were halted when an arm suddenly wrapped around my neck, and a girl who's a tad bit smaller than me was suddenly beside me.

"You guys at it again huh?"

"Ailee unnie!" I hugged the girl as soon as I recognized her. "Is your set finished already?"

"Yah! If you two were listening and not bantering then you would've known!" She eventually laughs at our childish jesting. "You, Amber! You're up in 10 minutes you hear?" Ailee unnie reminds me with a caring smile, which I nodded to in response.

"By the way, what song will you be singing? Anything new?" An intrigued Henry asks.

Actually whenever I perform here at the café, it's either I pick an existing song to sing, or I sing something I composed. With my dream of being a musician aside from being a psychiatrist, I also tried writing and composing my own songs. And Henry always says that he loves the songs I compose. He always says something about how my songs are relatable and how I can completely convey its message. 

"You're in luck then. I was able to compose something new yesterday." I revealed to the now expectant Henry and Ailee. 

But different from both their excitement, I was still in low spirits as I was still thinking of her...

... Of Krystal.

She's actually the one that rendered me to write the song that I will be performing tonight.

"Yah!" This time, someone shoved me. "You're in daze again Amber!"  Turns out to it's Ailee unnie. 

"Nah! She just misses her ex!" Henry retorted.

Not really having it tonight, I just ignored Henry's quip and chuckled. "I'll be setting up now, see ya guys later!" I said to the both of them, leaving them to go on stage, but still hearing Ailee unnie shout "Kill 'em llama!" Which made me laugh a bit.

As I got on stage, I sat on the stool that was prepared for me and started tuning my guitar and setting it up to the amplifiers. Once done, I grabbed a mic and greeted the customers.

"Good evening guys." I started off trying my best to give the audience a bright smile, and in response, the crowd started clapping and some started cheering. "For those first timers here, hi guys I'm Amber. Tonight I wanna share a composition of mine to everyone."

The announcement of an original song, got the crowd listening attentively to my explanation.

"I started and finished writing and composing this song yesterday and it's a song about someone who wishes to forget about her past lover. I hope you guys enjoy!"

There were cheers and claps once again, and as soon as it died down, I started strumming my guitar, the first couple of chords already getting into me, making me remember how and why I wrote the song...

I'm your ex-boy, can't we turn things back?

... Because of her.

Back to when we were happy?

I know I'm your ex-boy after I turned around and left.
Why am I struggling with our memories?

With the music the guitar was making, I was completely lost in the feelings I had of the song and for the person I wrote it for, not really minding the crowd in front of me. So when I decided to scan the audience, I was surprised to see a very familiar figure leaning against the door frame of the café.

Yeah my little princess,
It wasn't enough to just call you my girlfriend.
Not my pretty, honey, baby, darling
But my princess, what have you been doing?

Why is she here? How? I thought she'll be meeting someone?

But I'm your ex-boyfriend now
I want to go back to the way things were
If the word 'ex-boyfriend' can make the past go back
If only that were possible

She smiles at me. A shy one. Looking at me like there wasn't any crowd or no one's blocking her vision. She's looking only at me with those beautiful eyes that always melts me.

I know that it's too late,
I knew that you'd turn away from me.
I know you'll think I'm ridiculous,
But I just wanna be with you for one day.

Seeing her tonight, while I'm singing this song...

I thought it'd be better to let you go,
I wasn't confident to make you happy.

... It's like I'm saying this to her. 

I tried to turn away
I treated you coldly
But I didn't mean it

Relaying what I truly feel that I don't have the courage to say or explain in a mere conversation between the two of us.

I know I'm your Ex-Boy
You can call me a bad boy

Singing wholeheartedly, I looked at her, and saw a hint of a pained expression in her eyes even though she was still trying to smile.

Actually, I regretted your existence
I wanna turn things back like the hands of a clock.
Back to the happy days
I'll make you twice as happy
And create new memories.

Yes. Go back and turn everything back, but I can't anymore, because I'm...

I'm your ex-boy, can't we turn things back?
Back to when we were happy?
I know I'm your ex-boy after I turned around and left
Why am I struggling with our memories?

The whole time since I saw her in the crowd, I kept my eyes on her till I finished singing, and with the look she's giving me, I know that she knows all too well who the song is for. 

I'm nervous to say the least. I don't know how she'll react, knowing that the song is for her. Of course she clapped, smiled, and cheered for me after I sang, but what she really feels about me writing a song with her in mind and now knowing my thoughts through the song is what has now gotten me all fidgety.

I got down the stage and went straight to where she was pronto, not minding the shouting Henry in the background and the amount of people that made it harder for me to reach her.

"I thought you're meeting someone tonight?" I couldn't help but ask as soon as I got to her, not being able to control my happiness and nerves at the same time, which rendered the question to sound odd.

This bright kid-like cinnamon roll in front of me just scrunched her face, trying to look offended. "Why? Do you not like it that I came to watch? I ditched that and made Seulgi attend it you know!" She huffs and pouts at me. "I made an effort to come here just to see and hear you sing, stupid.

I didn't notice how I'm already smiling from ear to ear with her actions. "Cute." I caught myself mumbling.

Gosh! How can I be so careless with what leaves my mouth?!

It's a good thing that it looks like she didn't hear it.

"How can you send your girlfriend on an errand just because you want to watch me?" I looked down as I said those to her, not wanting her to see the change of expression in my face.

To be honest there's even no point to that now, since I practically said everything in that song, it's just that I really regret leaving her, and now I'm the one who's having a hard time and even wanting to get back together with her... But I can't.

She didn't respond for quite some time after that, which made me worry, eventually leading me to look at her, and I noticed how she threw a very confused look at me. "Girlfriend? Are you referring to Seulgi?"

"Of course!" I quickly answered. "Isn't she your girlfriend?" Why would she even ask me that? 

Unless...

"She's not my girlfriend."
"She's not your girlfriend?!"

We bursted out at the same time.

Laughing heartily at my realization, she manages to tease me. "She's just a friend I met at my sister's company." Krystal says in between sniggers. "Yah. I didn't even introduced her to you as my girlfriend, stupid." 

I really want dig a hole here right now and bury myself in embarrassment. How could I conclude all by myself that they're in a relationship just because of Seulgi calling Krystal 'babe'?

And speaking of that... "Then why does she call you babe?" I asked, seriously intrigued of the relationship they share.

"She's just like that to her close friends." She explained. I doubt it. A person is bound to have feelings for the other if she acts like that, right? 

Maybe she sensed my suspicion, or maybe she just knows me way too much, either of the two, I don't know, but she continues to explain after seeing my expression. "Also, she has a girlfriend. An executive director at the company."

If what Krystal's saying is true then... "That means you're..."

"I'm single, Ber." She relays with a small smile on her lips. A smile that can hold a ton of meanings, and a look that I can't quite figure out.

Okay, yes, I know that I still like— no, love her. And I want her back so badly in my life. I... Need her. 

But I'm still lacking... 

Yes I want her back, but being with me won't guarantee her a nice, good, and comfortable life. We're literally two worlds apart. She's very rich, and I'm here just thinking if the convenience store at the front of my apartment got out of stock of ramen again co'z I would starve if that happens.

And I don't even know if she wants me back too. With how much I've hurt her, then there's little to no chance of that happening.

Bottomline is, even though I want her back, I can't have her back.

A snap of a finger brings me back to reality.

"I see that you still have that habit of being in a daze at times." Krystal giggles at my absentmindedness.

"Sorry about that." I chuckled, trying to hide my worries, but Krystal just sighs.

"Well you must be thinking about something." I heard her mumble. This girl really knows everything. "So... Your work is done for the day right?"

"Yeah." I answered her nonchalantly.

"Let's go on a walk and catch up with each other then!"

I need to refuse, I can already see where this will be going and I know that it'll eventually leave me either scarred or in a bind between my feelings and what I want for her. 

But how can I do that when she's already holding my hand, dragging me outside the café, running through crowds outside happily like a little kid who got permission from her parents that she could play late tonight with her friend.

This is what I love seeing in her. This kind of happiness. I love seeing her smile. A happy Krystal makes me happy too.

We stopped running when we reached a bay nearby. She let go of my hand then and there, making me miss the warmth it has whenever it was on my grasps. 

She continues to walk slowly along the beach, under the beautiful moonlit sky that shines on her gorgeous features, while I just stood there, watching her. 

Priceless. That's the only word to describe this moment right now. Seeing her so lost in the moment, I wouldn't have this any other way.

But then, she abruptly stops and turns to me, looking straight to me with those bewitching eyes of hers that always makes me melt. She bites her lips, trying to prevent a smile that eventually escapes her lips.

"I still love you Amber."

And then I lost it.

-----------------------------------

The song Amber sang is Monsta X's song  entitled Ex Girl. I used the English translation of the song's lyrics for this one and took out some verses. 

Actualy I never planned for this to turn out sad. I dunno why but whenever I write Kryber stuff it always has that sad element to it. And someones asked about the SeulStal stuff. To be honest, I like SeulStal too, that's why. Both of them are the same age and trained together for quite some time. Dehet! ;) 

 There's still a third part though. Please wait for it patiently, and I hope you like this! 

Author out!
Peace!