Losing Control

Dreams of his childhood with Yunho haunted his sleep, he gasped waking up into darkness, feeling his body tremble as he the smell of ash filled his nose. 

"What's wrong?" 

Yunho's voice appeared making him more awake as he remembered where he was, swallowing his thick saliva before answering him with what sounded like a whisper: 

"Nothing... just cold..." 

Jaejoong heard some shuffling noises before realizing that Yunho got up to feed the dying fire a few wood chops making it back into the big fire it was earlier which illuminated the darkness. 

"The electricity? Still cut?" 

Jaejoong asked, closing his eyes as his body shivered feeling the little heat from the fire. 

"Yes" 

Yunho's voice was too near that made him open his eyes and look up to see that the other bent down next to him.  

"Wh-what?" 

Jaejoong asked, feeling Yunho's fingers on his face, he fought not to follow the warm touch. 

"W-what i-is it?" 

"Your body is trembling...." 

Yunho said standing up walking towards the bundle of clothes he slept on and dragged it next to Jaejoong's. 

"Wh- What are you doing?!?!" 

Jaejoong asked in a sharp shaky voice. 

"Getting you warm..." 

Yunho said laying on the clothes before taking the other's trembling body in his arms. 

Heat spread through Jaejoong's body feeling himself pressed against Yunho's muscular warm chest.... his body trembled hard and his breaths labored. 

"Relax Jaejoong.... Go back to sleep..." 

Jaejoong couldn't take what the other said as he could hear his own heartbeats in his ears, he swallowed hard feeling the urge to laugh when he registered the other's words... 

'Relax? Sleep?! IS he CRazy!? How can I ever sLeep LiKe THAT!' 

Jaejoong thought feeling his body respond to the warmth of Yunho, craving it.... But no..  he shouldn't fall for this... he shouldn't!... He tried to use the breathing techniques he learned through his stressful career but nothing worked, his body trembled more fighting the urge to hug the other back and drown in this sweet feelings... he couldn't stop... his brain has one thing in it..... and it's YUNHO! 

"Relax Damn it!" 

Yunho said hugging the paler man tighter. 

"There is no need to act like a  teenage girl Jaejoong..... I'm not going to tear your clothes and take advantage of you... just relax and sleep...." 

Yunho's words sent waves of shame and hurt into his chest... Yunho would never think of him in that way... so there is no need to for him to act like that, right? 

He forced himself to try to relax but his body couldn't... he struggled in his arms for a few minutes but Yunho only tightened his arms around him making it hard to move... until the exhaustion and warmth took over him and he fell asleep. 

****************** 

"Jaejoong-ah..." 

Jaejoong opened his eyes slowly hearing his name, meeting the two almond eyes he dreamt of for the past decade, he smiled sweetly as his head still felt light from sleep. 

He lift his hand caressing the other's cheek gently eyeing the handsome sharp face, loving the desire he can see in his eyes. 

"mmm" 

Jaejoong moaned stretching his arms around the other's neck, living in his own dreams was fulfilling at night and torturing after waking up but he didn't care, loving the warmth he felt, feeling the strong arms tighten around him. 

"No!" 

Yunho's sudden sharp voice woke Jaejoong up before he know it, he was pushed away into the floor, watching in horror as Yunho stood up walking towards the fire, giving him his back with both of his fists by his side. 

'It wasn't a dream?.... it wasn't a dream... damn it! IT WASN'T A DREAM!' 

Jaejoong's eyes widened as his sleepy mind finally registered what happened, Shame filled his heart as he hugged his knees to his body hiding his face trying hard to hold his tears back... he didn't want to cry in front of Yunho.. Especially not after the cold rejection. 

He was rejected again... like 12 years ago....

Please Subscribe to read the full chapter