86. Trust

It is a big word to describe… Immm… It looks like a dagger… Trusting someone is giving that dagger to that person and giving back to him… Dangerous, huh?

But I trust you… I trust you with all my life… I don't why but I think you will never slide me with knife… You are a good kid with a white heart… You will not do this kind of things… 

For you, let me advice again… Don't trust anyone easily… There is a saying : We don't trust people for two reasons; one is that we don't know them and the other, we know them… Think carefully…

Okay, as you believe, you can trust the people around you… I also do… But always take care… Always look at their moves… People are made of selfishness and greediness over kindness… They can change into another person anytime…

87. Totoro

I still remember this cartoon… It was first aired on TV when I was 5… And he was my favourite character at that time…

Immm… I was surprised when I found out you love Totoro too… And I have a dream of buying you a Totoro… But I don't like the one we found… His fur is something… I think it will make you cough if it goes into your throat accidently…

I'll look for a good Totoro plushie and give you as a present… Hahaha… I mean if we ever have a chance… But I think you will get one soon from other… Aigooo… I'm hopelessly romantic even I can do nothing now…

About Totoro, I suddenly remember one thing… I made a comic about us, right?? HeeHeeHee… This was cute… But I don't know you like it or not… You are unpredictable… 

Last time I gave you a drawing, your reaction makes me disappointed… You know, I never draw easily… I only draw the ones I really love… Drawing is not that easy… I have to give a lot of time… And I have to sit for hours to make a drawing…

I was really sad when you only said Yes… Then, I decided to draw for everyone and not you anymore… I even gave one to your brother… We became good sublings now…

Whatever… That Totoro comic… I took days to make it… I did many stupid childish things… HaHa… Shameful…

88. Umbrella

When you have to sit in the rain, you will be thankful to someone who will find you and put an umbrella over you… It doesn't matter how they find us… The only thing matter is they were there with us…

When I had my stormy rainy days, I was lost in the rain… And someone comes look for me with an umbrella… I didn't expect her to appear but she saved me… I really thankful to her to be with me on that days…

You will also have to face rainy days on your life… You may be break down… You will not want to continue anymore… But all you need is an umbrella…

Someone will come find you with an umbrella… I will also be there with an umbrella but I'll not come closer… You can come run under my umbrella if no one comes to you…

This is life… Life is not always smooth… You will have to meet rainy days… On that days, just look for an umbrella… The only thing you need is an umbrella…

89. Understand

You once said you will understand me in the way you don't understand… But in reality, you can't understand me… You don't understand my mind…

I tried to express my true feelings but I don't know how to explain… I am confused with myself… I don't know either what I want… But all I know is I love you and I don't want you to leave me…

I was hurt as well as wanna laugh when you said not to love you too much… Is love something that can be controlled???? You said like this because you still don't understand what love is…

I'm not saying I also understand what is love… I only know what is my love… I love you… I want to sit and watch you happy… I want to make you happy… I want you always smiling like this… This is enough… Even if I cannot be part of your happiness, I'm satisfied… This is how I love…

But I can be jealous at the same time… I think this is a normal thing for someone I love… I can get jealous easily… But I don't know why… And I'm confusing about it too…

Love has no win or lose… no gain or give… It is just love… Love is not for played… So there is no victory or lost… It is just Love… A Plain Love… As clear as crystal… As white as innocent… 

I want you to understand this…

90. Unfollow

Sorry to say like this… I unfollowed you… I don't want to see your status that you refer to your boy… I don't want to know what he is doing to you… I don't want to know what you guys are doing…

Though I'm saying like this, I still want to see your face… So, I always reach to your wall secretly… And start browsing around… Haha… How stupid I look like…

But unfollow thing has some advantages… I don't have to know who tags you or who writes on your timeline… As I have made you as my only one close friend, I get notification everytime you post something… HeeHee… I still can't cut off the feeling of attachment string…

But this is like I'm losing the rope… When a rope is cut off in the middle, both sides will have wounds… Thus, I'm holding the rope loosely so that it will not be cut… I'm afriad you will get hurt because of me…

Even if I have to suffer a lot of staying away from you, it is much better than you will get hurt… At least, we are still friends and you are still the active happy hyper kid…