KYUHYUN POV •

"I can't"

I had honestly hoped for a different outcome, a better outcome; one in which he'd agree immediately, jumping into my arms and congratulating me for having the courage to suggest such a thing, to kiss me hard on the lips as happy tears run down his face because I love him and want to start a serious relationship with him, because he loves me too and was simply waiting for me to feel ready for that step.

But I was very much aware of how wishful these thoughts were and how small the possibility of it somehow turning up that way actually was; so on the very least he could have hesitated, asked me to give him some time to think about it, as I had mentally prepared myself to do; but he didn't need to think about it at all, his voice didn't falter, his eyes aren't avoiding mine... Why? I thought he liked me, I thought I was enough, he's told me all the trouble he's had with HyukJae, they have both clearly fallen out of love with each other, their relationship isn't working, our's is, so why does he refuse to leave his side?

"Why ?" I can't help but ask in a sad tone, holding back my tears as I look him in the eye, trying to read his emotions.

"HyukJae and I have history, you wouldn't understand" he answers, dejected, which angers me for some reason because: Why does the past matter? He can't hold onto a relationship that's not working for old time's sake.

"Then explain it to me, make me understand why you should give up on your future happiness for things of the past"  I plead while grabbing a hold of his hands.

"He loves me, KyuHyun, I may not return his feelings but I acknowledge them and I don't want to break his heart.  He's been through that enough times already"  he retorts looking at my eyes firmly, silently begging me to understand which only makes me frown because: How could I? Relationships end, it happens. He shouldn't tie himself to a person he doesn't want to be with only for the fear of hurting them.

"Minnie, listen to yourself! You're being unreasonable" I take a moment to calm myself because yelling at him can only make things worse, so I lower my angry tone and put a hand on his right cheek before continuing "Do the both of us, no, the 3 of us a favor and take your time to think this through. I don't want you to regret any rush decisions you make in the spur of the moment. Please consider what I said and don't think about what either of us is gonna feel if you choose the other, just choose what feels right for you and stay with whomever makes you happy, I won't get mad as long as you're happy, I love you".

"Thank you" he replies softly as he leans into the warmth of my palm, smiling gratefully with his eyes teary and I know I'm no better, but my tears have dried and my resolve is stronger than ever. I want him to be mine but I'll keep my promise, even if he doesn't choose me I'll be content as long as he's found his own happiness.

...Or at least that's what I tell myself.