DONGHAE POV •

“Donghae!” calls a familiar voice from a few feet behind me, making me turn around to greet my best friend; the tall, handsome, charismatic, and did I mention rich? Choi SiWon, as he jogs towards me with that prince-like smile of his, showing those adorable dimples that make every female within a ten foot radius immediately melt into a puddle of goo. Not that I know from experience, of course, his smile does not make me sway, nor do slightly question my uality every time a handsome guy, not necessarily Siwon, smiles at me. Actually, change that to: as long as it's not Siwon, sure he’s attractive as hell but we’ve known eachother since conception! That might be an exaggeration, but even so, we’re like brothers and I could never think of him like that so get that thought out of your head ‘cause it's not happening. Ever... It’s never going to happen with anyone! I’m in a committed relationship with a beautiful girl that I love very much. I’m not gay, damn it!

“Oh, hi! What’re you doing here on a saturday?” I ask curiously, pushing my frustrating thoughts aside to be discussed later, and when I say later what I mean never again because there is nothing to be discussed, I am not gay and I should be paying attention to whatever Siwon is going to say next, he shouldn’t be here on a saturday, I’m the only idiot within my close (and very small, but let’s not talk about that, okay?) circle of friends who would take a class at this day and time, so why is he here? But then the answer steps out from behind him, clad in a wonderful dress, complete with a pair of high heels that a woman with her height doesn’t really need, covered in equally unnecessary make up looking as gorgeous as ever and smiles at me in greeting "Liu Wen, hey, didn’t see you there. So I guess you’re here to pick her up” I say looking back at Siwon.

“You'd be correct” he answers simply, putting his arm around her, to which she responds by interlacing her hand with the one now resting on her shoulder and directing a loving smile at him. These two are so in love I sometimes feel envious. I swear she could be a top international model if she wanted to. Not only is she good looking but also very charismatic, just like Siwon. You could call them a match made in heaven, but hey! So are me and my girlfriend... Okay so maybe I have small lapses during which I have inappropriate thoughts about a certain someone, but that’s just lust and I’ve never acted on it, I still love my girlfriend...

We talked for a bit in the school gates before parting, I wasn’t in a hurry to go anywhere but they had somewhere to be so Siwon told me he’d call and make plans with me later; the thought put a smile on my face as I made my way back home, I really enjoy spending time with him but we don’t get to hang out very often because of how busy he always is – what with the multibillion business his family owns – and the little free time he does have, he usually spends with Liu Wen, much like I do with my own free time, ‘cause even though I get more free time than he does, I still get zero time for myself because my girlfriend is really high maintenance, not that I’m complaining, she just get’s lonely easily so I have to meet with her every chance I get, not getting to be by myself often, which is something that I do enjoy, not that I’m complaining, but I’d just like to have some free time for myself where I can relax and just be. Again I am not complaining… Okay fine! I AM complaining, won’t leave me alone for two seconds! ...Whoaa, hold up, rewind on that thought, I did not just think that, she isn’t a , she just loves me very much and likes to have me by her side every hour of every day, and that is so freaking exhausting! She’s not even clingy! She doesn’t over-push me for affection, she just wants my time, all of it! But I want my time too! I deserve it! But she doesn’t get that, and just to prove my point, my phone rings, because my only class of the day just ended and she knows that, because I have no more responsibilities for the rest of the day and she knows that. I’m free now, I have time and she’s calling to ask me to spend it with her and I can’t tell her “no” because how am I supposed to tell her that she’s suffocating me? That I really like her but it’s not me it’s her and I need a damn break? That trying to monopolize your significant other is a bad thing and she should feel bad?

- Hey, babe - I answer as I pick up my cellphone, sad that I had to stop the ringtone in my favorite part of the song.

- Hi, you out of class already?

- Wouldn’t have picked up otherwise -  I say. I know it sounded a little rude but I wasn’t in the best of moods.

- Good thing, I’ll be over at you apartment in 15, ok?

- Umh, yeah but, I was at your place yesterday.

- So?

- Maybe we should, well, skip today? -  I ask hesitantly, expecting the worst.

- What do you mean skip?

- Like, have a time off, you know from each other.

- What? Are you breaking up with me!? - comes the expected reaction and I flinch at the loudness of it.

- No, babe, I’m not breaking up with you, I just think we shouldn’t meet today when we already met yesterday and we’re probably going out tomorrow again - I explain patiently, hoping she understands my implied reasoning, because we seriously shouldn’t be seeing each other daily, it’s bad for the relationship.

- Well, that’s just silly Donghae-yah, we should get together every chance we get! You better get those weird selfish thoughts out of your head before I arrive at your place. I’m hanging up now, love you!

And before I can get another word in, she’s already ended the call together with all hopes of reasoning with her, she’s just stubborn like that… and I can’t believe she called me selfish!

But I can’t complain, I really can’t complain, it's not like she was born like that or it’s part of her personality, I know where she comes from, the whole story, how her previous boyfriend cheated on her, so now she’s paranoid and doesn’t want me to have time for myself because she’s afraid I’ll go spend it with somebody else. I can understand that, it’s a very valid reason and that's why I’ve been taking it quietly for the entire relationship, but a person can only take so much and I’ve reached my limit. Just because her last boyfriend was an that doesn’t mean I’m cut from the same mold. Just because she gives me the opportunity – if you can call it that – to be unfaithful, it doesn’t mean I’ll go ahead and do it, she should understand that, why doesn’t she understand that?! I really like her and I want us to work out but this situation is so frustrating!

. It. All.