Kim Sung Gyu got his first ever actual girlfriend when he was only fifteen years old. He was in middle school back then. And though he’d admit himself, he was quite a dapper young man. There were three boys in his gang, including him. Though he wasn’t the best looking among the three of them (Jiyoung was, the bastard) he had the most attractive personality. He was conceited, and he could sing well. His mother told him that he bluffed a lot though he wasn’t quite sure if it was the case. Yet, girls flocked and swooned around him like birds around harvest in the spring. The fact that he fought the best with the other kids at school, and that he was the tallest among the three friends with nicest long legs were added points. So, nobody was actually surprised when he and a girl who was in high school whom he frequently met in the bus stop took off together. Except for the briny jealous people in his class, everyone else thought they made quite a cute couple. He did so too. The problem was, however; he hadn’t imagined that himself around ordinary girls and himself around a girl he liked would be completely different. He hadn’t expected when they’ve first hit off that he would be an awkward block of wood whenever he would meet her, and that would totally work in his disadvantage. He knew nothing, nothing except for how to draw girls towards him. Keeping them around, as it happened, was an entirely different matter.

Hitting puberty seriously changed lots of things, he supposed. Because he was a lot better around the girl he first kissed when he was only twelve years old. The fifteen-year-old Sung Gyu couldn’t even imagine kissing a girl; he couldn’t even take two steps closer to her without feeling giddy and warm on his cheeks. His heart would beat erratically fast whenever he would see her at the bus stop, and whenever he couldn’t see her, it was getting quite difficult to concentrate. People at school made fun of him for dating a girl who was to write her university entrance examinations in a year or so; girls stopped flaunting their dolled-up faces and too-short skirts around him. He could hardly take note of the distinct shift of his surrounding until late, because his mind was constantly all over the place; most specifically on the other side of the town, in the depth of her gleaming dark eyes. It took him weeks to actually gather his courage to get a little closer to her and act like an actual boyfriend, like men in all those cliché romantic dramas did. The first time he kissed her was only a timid peck on the corner of her lips when he dropped her off home after cram school on a rainy spring evening, and if not for her who discarded her umbrella and kissed him long and hard under the pattering cold rain, he would never have gotten any further than where they were in their love life. He did quite well afterwards in the romance department, admittedly so, to the extent that he lost his ity to the same girlfriend in her dingy little bedroom while her parents were out, just a couple of days before she left for college. It was after she moved to college that he realized that she’d taken a huge chunk of his heart with her, and also that he was quite possibly what his mother frequently called him; a romantic. That was probably because he wrote emails to her every day, of the cringy kind, and got upset over it when she never replied. But later after she dumped him for an older guy in college and Sung Gyu found himself crying outside near the chili trees in his grandma’s place, he realized what his mother probably meant by him being a romantic was the way he could cling onto and be faithful to the same girl for ages while everyone else could fall out of love quite so easily. Although he thought it was kind of a unique trait for a boy back at that time, he often found it hard to live with. Life would have been easier had he been able to stop loving someone like his first girlfriend could stop loving him and choose a college guy instead.

Yet, years later, now a single father in his early twenties, repenting his life choices more often than not, he realized, being able to love a person with the entirety of his heart and soul was a gift not all men had the ability to acquire. He wasn’t sure if there were other people out there like himself, whether all men became romantics as they reached a certain age in life. What he was completely certain about, however, was that being a romantic gave him that one beautiful opportunity to fall in love with a person once all over again; with their every smile, every breath and every second they existed, and that he would choose to be that person over anything in his life.

Sung Gyu was still in his Super Mario costume, the cold wind hitting the exposed bits of his face, and not deterred a single bit by the fact that he was in his ridiculous cosplayer glory in front of the woman whom he’d possibly loved with every breath he’d take. In fact, the moment he’d seen her, coming through the crowd and just standing there before him like a remaining fragment of a long-lost dream, he had quite forgotten where he was. All he could see and think about was her as the rest of the world blurred out around them. It didn’t matter that he was in a Super Mario costume, that his hat was crooked and that there was a faux moustache attached to his face with thick elastics. It didn’t matter that it was freezing outside and that he was barely dressed for the weather; because finally, finally after months of worrying, wondering and contemplating of all the means and ways to mend the shattered bridge between them, after losing his only chance to offer his heart to her, she had come back to him, and right now he was ready to take all his chances to make things right again. He didn’t think twice at that time. One would have thought he was being impulsive, but it was only the right thing to do. He had detached himself from the children, approached Eunji in two strides and told her the one thing he should have told her they should do all those months ago and never did, which eventually made everything complex.

“Eunji, can we talk?”

He was surprised at how steady and confident his voice sounded at that moment. He didn’t realize until then that it was her smile which ultimately made him weak, and his hands were clammy and trembling when he fisted them hard as the two made it through the swarm of children across the hallways, towards the back door and outside into the freezing cold afternoon. The wind which rushed past them prickled his warm skin and she instinctively wrapped her arms around herself. He wanted to aske her if she was cold, but he was so preoccupied that he could hardly get a word past his lips. But then she said she’d get her coat and ran back inside. He wasn’t cold even if he had only two layers of clothes and a pain of ugly white gloves protecting him. It was as if summer had returned to his life.

They resumed their conversation in one of the garden swings.

Sung Gyu sat on one end of the couple swing, Eunji sat on the other, and the two of them maintained their silence for the longest time, basking in their mere presence as two people together, as if they were compensating for all the times they’ve missed out on. Sung Gyu thought of what he should be telling her. Months ago, when he had first parted ways with her, His mind was full of everything he could say and mend back the snapped strings between them. Right now, however, his mind was numb and empty, his heart was erratically calm that he’d have thought it had stopped for an instance, and all the things he had initially wanted to tell her had disappeared, leaving behind just a few words roaming around in his mind, lingering on his lips. That he missed her, that he loved her so much, and that he was sorry. Sung Gyu wasn’t sure that thee three phrases were enough to make up to all the wrong he had done to her.

The sky was a mild bluish grey even though the sun was brilliant as usual. The cheerful chatter coming from the general direction of the mansion were like thousands of bells chiming at once. Underneath his feet, the grass was frozen with dew and crunched slightly as he moved. It was hard to keep himself still. His hands were moving mindlessly, his mind was all over the place. All of a sudden, the thirty-three-year-old Sung Gyu was back to his fifteen-year-old self; timid, giddy, confused. It was getting difficult to take his eyes off her, and every time he thought about it and realized, like a cold splash of water across his face, that she indeed was there beside him, that it wasn’t just another one of his late-night alcohol induced dreams, he’d die a little death inside. On the other hand, he was scared, scared of so many things. The way they parted all those months ago wasn’t exactly amendable. And the fact that he had cut her off his life, wiping her away entirely and walking out not leaving behind a single trace of him, kept gnawing at him like a looming ghost. He’d done her wrong. Not once, twice, but so many times. As much as he couldn’t forgive himself for hurting the girl he loved, he didn’t want her to do the same. Things just didn’t change entirely, not even if it’s been long. Pain stayed as scars once times had passed. Wounds didn’t heal completely. Deep inside, he knew that she probably didn’t forgive him; but still he hoped that he would be able to cover that wound somehow and bring their relationship to exactly where they should be.

It took him longer than necessary to gather his courage. He rubbed his arms, now cold underneath the thin layers of his clothes, and breathed out a heavy cloud of white smoke. The cheery voices of the children had diminished, momentarily, and as a particularly heavy win blew, the dew-crusted leaves trembled, and the swing they sat on creaked the slightest. Sung Gyu took a deep breath and turned to face her. He was surprised to find that she was facing him in return. For one exquisite moment, their eyes met. His fell deep into hers; and all of a sudden, he was dragged all the way back to the very first time they were this so close by hearts. He wasn’t certain if it was the same for her back at that time. But he could still vividly recall that moment like it was just yesterday. On the day of his birthday, them standing so close, the entire world blurred around them as the wheel turned and turned. He could still remember just how much he wanted to kiss her at that moment. He had refrained still, simply because she deserved better.

Sitting here now, in more or less the same element, was is still the case? Did he still think she deserved better than him? That everything he had and willing to give her wasn’t enough? He tilted his head to a side and gazed at her; the fine contours of her features; beautiful, mesmerizing even. He thought she had only gotten prettier the days they’d been apart. He wasn’t certain what would happen now, and where it would ultimately lead to. What he knew for sure, however was that he no longer thought that she deserved better than him, no. Rather, he promised himself that he would give all of himself to deliver everything that she deserved, and in the best way possible.

It took a moment for him to realize that she, too was gazing back at him, her head tilted to a side, smiling the slightest. He thought she looked like a child. But he had dragged this silence for way too long.

It was her who first broke the quietness.

“I thought you wanted to talk” She told him.

He nodded, though he wasn’t sure where he should start. Should he apologize first? Or just simply launch at explaining himself. Or rather, he could always up and tell her that he missed her, that he loved her; and then scoot closer, bring her to his arms and kiss her in a way that all their past qualms and set backs would fall through and disappear. Instead, he gathered his rapidly dispersing bearings and cleared his throat. He asked her the first thing which came to his mind.

“How-how are you?” for someone who was instantaneously dying several little deaths inside, his voice sounded soft and surprisingly calm.

Eunji held his gaze for the longest time, and he could swear she stared right into his soul and saw everything that he’d failed to possibly put into words.

“I’m good and you?” She retorted hurriedly, giving him a small smile.

“I…” he started, but then he went quiet for a while, unable to form a response. He knew he had to apologize. That’s where he should have started. He had to fix everything. There wasn’t going forward otherwise. And he realized, in the pace that they were going now, he wouldn’t have the time to explain himself, unless…unless…

“I’m sorry” He blurted out before he could even register himself what he was doing. An imperceptible emotion flashed across her face, which soon morphed into a perplexed, uncertain smile. Sung Gyu took a deep breath, encouraged by her silence as a plea to continue. It was his chance, and he was going to take it the best way he could. Sung Gyu scooted closer to her, and he felt a hint of her scent; strawberries, which he could remember so well. He closed his eyes for a shortest moment, forming every word he needed to say in his mind, and hesitated, only for a split second before he turned to her and met her eyes. “I’m sorry…Eunji. I don’t know how much I have hurt you, or how much just telling you I was sorry, would fix. But I would take my chances…I’m sorry, for everything I put you through”

The expression on her face was unreadable, and Sung Gyu thought, for a moment, that he had ruined things between them for good. But then a tiny flash of a smile curved on her lips. Her eyes held a softest mischievous shine. “You talk too much, boss” She replied, and he caught the underlying tone in her voice. She was fighting a smile, which somehow broke through and spread brightly across her lips.

“Pardon?” Sung Gyu blinked, confused. Eunji merely shook her head in return and shrugged, turning away to gaze down at her boot clad feet. “Telling me the truth would have worked too…but I forgive you…” She sighed, a thick cloud of white smoke escaped her lips, and then she turned and met his confused gaze. “I would always forgive you, I understood you, never thought you did any wrong. But if you feel you did and had the need to apologize…well, I forgive you. I do…”

He gulped hard and fought his urge to launch at her and hold her in his embrace. “E-Eunji…”

There was a soft teary glaze in her eyes as she spoke, her voice, so soft, was carried in the chilly winter breeze. “The truth is, the only time you truly did hurt me was when you disappeared. It wasn’t when you asked me to leave or when you didn’t listen to me, because in all these instances, I understood you. At least, I tried to, in the best way a person who hadn’t ever been a single parent in an unpalpable mess could. I empathized, I looked at things through your eyes, and it was fine. But then all of a sudden when you disappeared…” She let out a sigh and Sung Gyu’s heart tightened at the sight of her eyes welling up, even though there was a soft smile on her lips. She turned away and gazed across the vast lawn before them. “…For the first time in my life, I felt completely and utterly hopeless. I didn’t know what I could do with myself, because…unbeknownst to me, I had gotten attached to you in a way that I had never been to anyone else, ever in my life. To you, to Sung Jae…and weirdly enough, to your parents too” She sighed, and lowered her head as all he could do was watch her, quiet and mesmerized. It was his first time to ever have it coming from someone, a woman, who’d been close to him. All the girls he’d dated found fault in his arrangement, every girl had assumed that he was incapable of delivering them everything they desired, that, being a single father, did somehow differentiated from any other man of his age, weighing him down with certain amount of responsibilities. They needed someone dependable, that’s what they always said. Their lives weren’t exactly stable, and in that quest of searching for stability, they looked for a man who could do it for them as if it was the sole purpose of their existence in their lives, even though men, in return, sought after someone dependable themselves. But Eunji on the other hand…

“…You’re a wholly different world to me” She continues in a thick voice. “And I was always, always happy to be a part of it. Big or small didn’t matter to me…at least, in the beginning. Because just being there…. with you, with Sung Jae…it made me indescribably happy. And that somehow made me want to be a bigger…more significant part of it. I want to be in that small bubble of a world you’ve made forever, and somehow I wanted you to be in mine too…and I…” She let out a sob at that point and Sung Gyu wanted to reach out and hold her, wipe off her tears, tell her that she had, she still was and would always be the second most significant person in his life. But instead, he said the single world which carried the weight of everything she’d told so far. “I know…” he muttered, and when she lifted her gaze towards him, he held it for the longest moment. He didn’t have to say a word, as he could see how she slowly began to perceive things; the way her eyes changed, so many emotions flashing through them, and when he didn’t hesitate to hold her hand, thread his fingers through her; a small but a brilliant smile appeared on her lips, and she squeezed his hand in return. Sung Gyu lowered his gaze for a briefest moment, recalling that night. “I gaze I wasn’t entirely oblivious. I realized when I thought long and hard about it…It’s just…” He looked up into her eyes. “I didn’t want to believe any of the signs I was seeing. I just…wanted things to change from how they were because I believed you deserved far better than all I would ever be…”

“No…” Eunji whispered but Sung Gyu shook his head in return. “Eunji, I’m a single father, which wasn’t simple in itself and then when his mother just returned, my life just became wholly lot complex that I had imagined…the fact that we both lived under the obnoxiousness the entire world held…I didn’t want you to fall into that place. You didn’t have to be with someone like me. Lost and broken, completely messed up. A parent at that…you deserved someone with whom you can experience everything for the very first time; someone who wasn’t weighed down by responsibilities and everything that the world held against me…” He took her hand in both of his, enclosing them in the warmth of his gloves. “I just believed that you deserved much, much better, Eunji…that’s all I wanted for you”

Eunji extricated her hand from his, vigorously shaking her head as if in disbelief. “I don’t deserve better, no. I can’t...” She took a deep breath and faced him; her features were firm, determined. “What if I do deserve better, and the only better person than anyone else out there is you? What if all I deserve is you?”

Sung Gyu parted his lips to respond, but he couldn’t. His heart, he was certain at that point had stopped beating entirely and his eyes remained solely on her, looking into the depths of hers and seeing that vast universe he had hesitated to allow himself into, for the longest time. He couldn’t, for the life of him, believe that he’d just been confessed to.

Eunji just confessed to him. Until that point he had never known exactly how it felt like to be told, sincerely, that they wanted him in their lives. And now…he didn’t think he could quite find words to explain how she made him feel.

Inside his ugly Mario gloves, his hands were clammy, but he had no strength to take them off him, no matter how much he earned to feel her skin against his own. He had somehow forgotten where he was and what he was even doing there. The crooked hat on his head was forgotten, the elastic stiff against his skin was hardly noticeable. Not even the fact that he wasn’t dressed enough for the harsh cold mattered to him right now, as all he could think about was her.

“When you left…” Eunji continued in a soft, meekly voice, now gazing down at the grass underneath. “I was so hurt and angry in a way that I could never explain. It was probably the only time I was truly hurt by something you did. All the other times, while it lasted only for that moment. When I later thought about why you would think or act that way, I could see right through you. I forgave you time and time again, because you weren’t doing any wrong to me. It’s exactly how anyone would react, even me, if I were in your shoes. But that time…I just couldn’t believe that the only people you could depend on when the times got difficult, you’d turn your back on them, think that you didn’t need them or deserve that care and affection and dare walk away…I didn’t know why you did that to me. All I could deduce was that, given that it’s you...you probably thought that holding in all that pain and suffering to yourself was the best way, because you thought that’s what you deserved. And I…” She let out a heavy sigh, a cloud of white smoke dispersed before her. “I was so hurt by the fact that you could even think that you didn’t deserve me…that you could dare wipe me out of your life…I was hurt by that so much…”

Yet again, Sung Gyu parted his lips to explain himself, but for a long moment, rendered completely speechless, he was unable to form a coherent response. The truth was, even then, as he parted ways and cut off all the ties he had had with them, what he had convinced himself with was that both Eunji and Woohyun were better off without him. He thought that they didn’t need someone as himself in their lives. Broken, weak and troubled. A single father, and all he had coming on his way was misfortune. He had thought that the mere existence of himself was holding them back from so many things. Eunji was in love with him, and in turn she was adamant to move any further in her love life; find a suitable partner and settle down for a better life that he hadn’t the capacity to give her. In consequence Woohyun constantly had to push back his own wedding plans, deal with everything their family brought upon him due to Eunji’s undesirable decisions of which Sung Gyu was the root cause. He had thought that once he’d get out of the picture, things would finally fall back into their rightful course for them and move along in the proper pace. It was all for their sake that he moved away, no matter how much it hurt to even think about parting ways from two people who mattered so much for him. Sitting here, right at that moment listening to their side of the story, Sung Gyu realized with a pang that not once had he considered things in their perspective.

It was fair that if hated him now. If he was them, he would have hated himself too.

Eunji looked into his eyes when he took too long to respond to her, let alone show any kind of response save for the look of remorse flashing across his face. When she breathed out, long and hard as if she was relieved just to see him there, he dared to glance up at her. She smiled ruefully as she reached out and took his hand. “I felt that you never wanted to be found. But I looked for you anyway, because deep down I knew that’s exactly what you wanted. Today…is a twist of fate, and here we are now. I found you, and I’m never going to let you go”

And it was the moment that the tiniest hair thread of patience which held him back the entire time, just snapped. He could feel himself unravel, the strings of his heart come undone, reaching out for the one person he’d been earning for, for far too long. He wasn’t thinking straight, or at all, ash he moved towards her and gathered her in his embrace. She was small and warm in his arms, her own hands ascending behind him, bringing themselves even closer to each other. Sung Gyu closed his eyes and deeply breathed her in; that familiar scent of pure grace and reassurance overwhelmed him, and for a moment, he was tearful, almost, and was afraid would he open his eyes at that moment, he would find it all to have been a dream.

But it wasn’t. Her breath colliding against his skin was real, the arms grasping tightly onto his back was real, and when she spoke, lowly, almost a whisper, it was real too. He must have been missing her to the extent that the mere presence of her appeared a dream to him. He had to hold her for a moment too long to reassure himself that she indeed was there, right in his arms. “I’m sorry” he took that moment to say it again and buried his face in the crook of her neck. “I’m sorry, Eunji”

“Don’t do that again” She murmured in return, her hand caressing up and down his back. “Just stay right here, okay? Stay with me”

“I will, I promise you”

It took them a quite so long to pull away from each other, but still he wished he could hold her even longer and make up for the times they’d lost. But when they did extricate themselves from their embrace after what felt like forever; he realized that they still had a few more unanswered questions, tangled strings to detangle. He waited for her to speak first, for he was too afraid to take a step further. They’ve accepted the presence of each other in their lives; yet who were they? What were they for each other? So many questions and uncertainties floating around them, unacknowledged and for the time, ignored. Sung Gyu searched in her eyes for a single trace or a clue. But for his amazement, she appeared bemused. He didn’t realize that he had tilted his head curiously in response. This, somehow, made her burst out in laughter.

“W-what?” Sung Gyu asked her slowly, raising his brows so high that they disappeared beneath the shadow of his dark bangs.

Eunji’s quiet giggles continued, and as he questioningly followed her gaze, she gestured at his mouth, and then placed a pointed finger horizontally above her upper lip.

It took him a moment to realize that he was still in that ridiculous super Mario costume, the hat on his head and a moustache on elastic. He probably even looked ridiculous as he listened to her pouring her heart out to him and god bless that didn’t ruin the occasion. Frustrated, he started to tug at the elastics, the thick strings snapping hard at his slightly reddened skin. The truth was that his mind was muddled in a manner that he couldn’t even work out how the stupid thing was attached to his face.

Nonetheless, as always, Eunji knew better.

“Hold on” She mumbled, and he looked up to meet her eyes. She appeared uncertain, even as she lifted her hands up towards him. When she reached out to him, her cold fingertips slowly gracing his skin, Sung Gyu held his breath. She’d moved closer to him, and then when she couldn’t quite find the ends of the elastics, even closer. His eyes bore into hers, and she held his gaze. Her hands still on him were slower than he’d expected, pulling off the ends from behind his ears, her fingers caressing the warm skin underneath. He saw the universe in her eyes, and that world she was telling him about before; he realized, was tucked away inside them, and he wanted to drown himself there in a way that he would never return.

Sung Gyu wasn’t sure who moved first; though he’s pretty certain that he remained stiff in the moment, afraid that anything he would do or say would drag her away from him. He wasn’t certain whom they were for each other. They’ve cleared out a misunderstanding, perhaps. But he didn’t think that put them in the place he wanted them to be, unless she decided it was alright to. Unless she admitted it herself; that they could be a little more than he thought they were and exactly what they both wanted each other to be.

When her lips pressed onto his own, a softest, featherlight touch; Sung Gyu wondered if it was even possible to fall in love with someone the way that he was falling for her. It went beyond everything he believed in; so utterly enchanting and gravity defying that he took longer than he should have to collect himself before responding to her. Tentative at first, it appeared as if she was unsure of what she was doing; all until Sung Gyu captured the leeway and kissed her in all his perfect ways. They were just a series of gentle, hesitant kisses in the beginning, slowly stepping through the threshold, testing the boundaries that they both have previously set and maintained the past year entirely. It wasn’t easy as he had expected, the transition; yet he allowed it to take its course anyway. Simply because it was time.

Sung Gyu tilted his head, gaining better access to her and breathed her in, felt her in every inch of his being and engrained an image of this moment, all the emotions placid and buried in the deepest corner of his heart. His hands, having their own minds, encircled her waist and brought her even closer to him. It was frustrating that there were way too many layers keeping him from feeling her. Her hands, in response, were cautiously descending down his chest, along the creases of the ridiculous costume he wore, and her fingers clutched onto the thick material as if to hold him back from disappearing on her once more. As the touch of their lips intensified, as their emotions threaded through and entangled with each other, Sung Gyu knew, for a certain that, that moment on, she would be his, he would be hers, and he wouldn’t allow anything to take them away from each other. With every breath, with every touch he promised her, quietly, that he’d forever be hers.

And he pulled away.

“Okay?” Sung Gyu whispered to her, his lips barely apart from hers, and her breath fanned deliciously against his own. She smiled softly, and amazingly so, a soft giggle erupted, making him chuckle in response. It was funny indeed. They were. It took them nearly two years to come to this place, to sit down, look into each other’s eyes and admit to what their hearts desired for, for so long. It defied all the occasions where people had fallen in love so easily, fallen out of it just the same. Without having acknowledged their feelings for each other, wandering about, in and out of their worlds like lost and clueless little souls, even though they took ever so long to come to the realization, they still found their way to each other.

Sung Gyu admitted that it was a good start. Their story was beautiful, up to this point. Despite the heartbreaks, despite the tears. And they weren’t just starting the journey together. Rather, it was a continuation of everything they’ve been, and they were. All they had to look forward for was what they were going to be.

It was Sung Gyu who moved first, this time around, once he had gathered enough courage in their prolonged silence and claimed her lips in a fierily passionate kiss. The inability to feel her skin on the tips of his fingers was frustrating him. Distractedly so, he struggled to tug them off him, pulled away from her for the briefest time to see them off and away from his confined, clammy hands. He saw her, from beneath the lashes, slowly away the taste of him on her lips; and that drove him mad to the point that he hurriedly cupped her face in both his hands and kissed her; he kissed her with so much of sheer, undefined certainty, the kind of kiss during which continents drifted, civilizations fell and seasons changed without them even realizing it. Her hand reached behind him, her fingers threaded through his soft, dark hair which resulted the nylon cap to fall off him and haphazardly land by his feet. He was far gone by then to notice anything but the constant shift in their time. The kiss carried a promise; every breath, nip and tug, every time they gasped and struggled, that from this point onwards they’d love each other, utterly, entirely, unconditionally, and forever.

She was breathless when he extricated himself from her. Her cheeks were dusted a mesmerizing shade of crimson, and the moist of her lips kept dragging him back to the recollection of the feel of them upon his own, and he would die a little death inside. She giggled nervously, averting her gaze timidly whenever he’d meet her eyes and then, she moved towards him and buried her face on the crook of his neck. Sung Gyu felt strangely accomplished. His heart felt full, his mind was erratically calm, and he was weirdly conscious of their surrounding; even more so, he was acutely conscious of their presence. When he breathed out, it was a sigh of utter relief, and in his mind, a voice muttered softly, floating about without direction; finally, finally. Sung Gyu closed his eyes, buried his face in her hair and breathed in that sweetest scent that he’d grown to love. Then he kissed her long on her crown.

“Mm…I’m so happy” Her voice, muffled against his chest, muttered lazily, and he put his arms around her and rested his cheek on her head. “I’m glad that you are…”

She ran one of her hands up and down on his back, and the other threaded through the hair on the back of his head, gently feeling his scalp with the tips of her fingers. “Is it even possible to be so happy? I feel like my heart is about to burst”

“I suppose it is” Sung Gyu kissed her hair, because, admittedly so, he felt exactly the same.

She pushed herself further into him, leaving only a threadbare of a space between them and brought her hand to his chest, pressing a palm against the defined slopes, and he was certain she could feel the erratic beating of his heart. “I don’t remember being this so happy, it almost feels unreal…it scares me” she told him, then, in a voice so soft that he had to pull away just so that he could see her face, hear her better, and his heart fell at the expression that she carried. Unreadable at first glance, she looked almost…crestfallen, in contrary to her admitting to being so happy. Did he do that to her? Had he put her to that place of not believing in happiness when she felt it the most?

“What is it?” He asked her, tucking a stray fringe of hair behind her ear. She gazed at him for quite long and finally let out a sigh. “I missed you so much, I swear I physically fell that pain…all over me”

“Oh” Sung Gyu swallowed, unable to think of a way to respond.

“I don’t know” She mumbled yet again, put her arms around him and engulfed him in her gentle warmth. “I just missed you so, so much and maybe I’m afraid I’d…lose you to someone…again”

It took him a moment to put two and two together. He finally understood. And so, he held her closer and rested his head on the curve of her shoulder. “You won’t…” he breathed. And then for further clarification, he added; “There isn’t anyone…I promise you that”

“Okay” She muttered after a while, and he could almost feel her smile. “Okay…”

A moment of prolonged silence ensued, afterwards, during which, they continued to hold on to each other, as if they were making up for all the times they’ve lost. Her hands were around him, his fingers in her hair, and it almost felt like forever when they detached themselves from each other. Sung Gyu took that moment to lean down and leave a chaste kiss on her lips. And she smiled.

“Are we not going to go in?” She then asked him.

“Can we not? Do we have a choice?”

She pursed her lips and regarded him for a moment. “But the children…”

“Oh” he grimaced. “Well, that will only be one less super Mario”

“You’d do anything to get out of it, wouldn’t you?” Eunji laughed.

“You caught me there…” he said, grinning widely, and he had to admit, being forced into a ridiculous cosplaying task had never been more gratifying. Her laughter made him so indescribably happy. The fact that he’d found her again, finally, after having hidden away for so long, afraid of being found while he secretly wished he would be; Nothing had felt more beautiful in his life.

And that’s why he hadn’t any complaints as she picked the nylon hat from where it fell off to and placed it on his head, arranging his dark bangs softly underneath, or when she carefully placed the moustache on the middle of his face again. He didn’t protest as she slid the gloves back onto his hand since it gave him a moment to feel the tips of her fingers against his warm hands, and once their hands were separated only by the thick white material against his skin, he let her thread her fingers through his own, rest their entwined hands in her lap, and she smiled. It vaguely reminded him of the warm summers and cherry blossoms in the wind.

“Alright” she said, oddly cheerful to a man dressed in a ridiculous costume against his will. “Let’s get back in, Super Mario-nim!”

And that, he could swear, was the only time for the entirety of the day that he didn’t groan miserably at being called that name, because, strangely so, coming from her, it felt sweetly endearing in his mind.

The rest of the day passed by like a blur; or even a dream, perhaps, because half the time, Sung Gyu was trying to get his head around the fact that she was there, right beside him, occasionally putting a hand in his and laughing at his lame jokes or telling another of her own, that jovial sound ringing inside his mind like tinkling chimes of wedding bells.

When they had returned to the mansion, it was already lunch time. The volunteers were seated together with the children in lines and lines of dining tables in the massive hall Sung Gyu didn’t even imagine that the mansion could house, and among them he could easily spot Junhyung, grumpily stuffing his face with rice as a couple of kids watched him in childish fascination. Beside him was his boss, Hyun Dong, dressed as a grizzly bear which was as ten times worse than them with two little girls sitting on either side of him. They’ve somehow left space for him on the opposite side of the table, and thankfully their photographer, once done with his meal, moved away with his tray and so Sung Gyu and Eunji eased in without much thought.

He, however, was acutely aware of Junhyung giving him a long, piercing glare across the table and curiously watching Sung Gyu’s new companion, to the point that Sung Gyu felt the excruciating urge to throw his bowl of rice at his face. Eunji, somehow, was blissfully unaware as she engaged in her own world of appearing (Beautifully) dreamy and holding his gloved hand under the table. When Sung Gyu couldn’t handle Junhyung and his childish schemes, he slowly removed her hand from his, resulting a confused gaze from her and he let out a long, heavy sigh.

“Okay, Junhyung” He uttered in a measly introduction and gestured at his friend on the other side, whom Eunji appeared to have noticed for the first time since she sat down in the table. “Junhyung, Eunji. And Eunji, Junhyung”

Junhyung acknowledged her with a nod, so did Eunji who then glanced at Sung Gyu, appearing adorably confused. Junhyung on the other had had quite not stopped staring, and so in the end he introduced him to her as his partner from work, Eunji introduced herself as a friend, and Sung Gyu returned to peacefully devour on his meal, hoping that he too, could hold her hand under the table, if not for Junhyung who, at that point, appeared more interested in the pair of them than ever before.

“So, Eunji-Ssi” He addressed her, all of a sudden. Sung Gyu slowly stirred his bowl of kimchi stew, appearing to be nonchalant though he was boiling with rage inside. “How do you know hyung?”

Eunji glanced at him for a moment, and he gave her a tight smile. It wasn’t that he had a personal dispute with Junhyung. They had sort of a love-hate relationship where ‘being-friends’ was a notion the pair of them hardly acknowledged. The thing with the situation, nevertheless, was that they had gotten together just now, and he was certain that however things could be for the moment, there were still qualms that need to be settled, things that need to be considered which somehow hindered them from admitting what exactly they were for each other. It’s just a moment of passion which put them in the element and right now, they were in this tiny bubble where everything was perfect, and they could truly love. But the moment the bubble burst and evaporated, leaving them in the real world, he was sure they’d be hit by the realization that their lives were still more or less the same.

“I used to baby sit, um, Sung Gyu-Ssi’s son” Eunji answered then, smiling brightly as if it wasn’t of any significance, and Sung Gyu finally got the relief to return to his food again. The truth was that he knew that he could trust Eunji with his life. She never changed, no matter how long they’ve been apart. As always, she knew what to do when the time called for. Although Junhyung’s response was quite uncertain and speculative, the conversation drifted at that point. Hyun Dong joined the three of them just in time, and Eunji took it the moment to comment on their costume display and charm everyone with her witty words and cheery laughter that the din of the previous conversation pretty much flittered away. Junhyung didn’t ask him anything else afterwards; though he kept giving weird looks and, in some point, a wink as they sat together on the floor surrounded by the kids. But the day, altogether, went by rather pleasantly and it ended too soon. Sung Gyu spent as much as time he could with the children, bearing in mind what Sung Jae had told him the previous day. The children just wanted to be a part of a family, and whenever one of them gazed up at him with a hopeful glint in their eyes, a little part of him died within, his heart cracked open and he almost considered adopting a child himself. Whenever this thought appeared, he would take a surreptitious glance at Eunji and tried not to stare too long lest their eyes met. And every time that happened, he felt pretty much like a weeny high school boy who had just gone and confessed to his first love. The feeling was peculiar, but familiar all the same.

As evening approached, the sky turned into a deep lavender grey. The volunteers filed out of the mansion after having shared emotional farewells with the children along with promises to visit them soon; Hyun Dong even went ahead and assured to make a donation to the children’s home on behalf of the entire Incheon SOCO team, the only thing Sung Gyu had nothing to complain about out of all that he’d been put through by his team. However, the day turned out far, far better than he had expected. While everyone else wrapped up with the day’s final proceedings, Sung Gyu changed out of his costume (He only had to step out of the damned thing) threw on a grey shirt over the black turtle neck sweater he wore, topped it with his mother’s knitted scarf and finally enjoyed the bliss of being in comfortable clothes, regretting how he had always taken it for granted. When he stepped out, Eunji was already out in the lawn, cheerily talking to Hyun Dong who was still in his grizzly bear costume. The sun was barely peeking through the clouds, the breeze carried the scent of damp earth and the remnants of the preceding autumn. He took a deep breath, feeling the slightest warmth of the sun upon his face, leaned against a wall and waited. He took a sweet long moment to just watch her, being there, happy and real, not yet another drunken dream, and he smiled. Life’s never been better for him.

“Oi” called a voice in his ear and Sung Gyu pulled away in a haste that he almost stumbled upon a potted plant nearby. Beside him stood Yong Junhyung, still in his Super Mario glory, except for the moustache which he had wrung around his fingers by the elastics. “Why are you still in the costume?” Sung Gyu asked, retrieving his hands from his jacket pockets.

“Well” Junhyung shrugged and gave him a rather suggestive glance. “Unlike some people, I don’t have anybody to impress”

Sung Gyu rolled his eyes and looked away (back at Eunji who still wasn’t done chatting with Hyun Dong), feigning ignorance to his friend. He didn’t seem like he’d stop there either. “What’s the deal with her? Girlfriend?”

“Shut up, Yong” Sung Gyu groaned, but unaware to him, his ears were turning from red to crimson, no matter how much he tried to hide his smile behind a frown.

“You’re hopeless, it’s all over your face” Junhyung chuckled and patted on his arm. “Well, whatever that is between you two, I ain’t going to drop your smitten home, it’s giving me the creeps”

“You’re a bastard” Sung Gyu replied simply, earning a smile from the other.

“It’s nothing about that…I just have somewhere to be”

Sung Gyu looked over at the other and noticed how his face has perceptibly changed. Despite his happy-go-lucky persona, Yong Junhyung spent a very secretive life. Nobody really knew much about him, except of Hyun Dong who wasn’t someone who particularly indulged in gossiping with his team mates, neither did Sung Gyu and he hadn’t really tried to pry into his life. He knew for a fact that the guy had more secrets than any one. It wasn’t like Sung Gyu hadn’t any, either way, so he only shrugged in response. “It’s fine actually…home’s just few blocks away”

“Lucky bastard” Junhyung said, patting on his arm once more. “Well, I guess I got to run now. Give my regards to your girlfriend, See you at work!”

Sung Gyu shoved the other away, telling him to off as he did, but as the other proceeded to make way down the gravel path, Sung Gyu called him, and he turned around, a questioning looks on his face. Sung Gyu gave him the brightest smile he could muster. He actually owed him that. “Thank you for inviting me today!” Sung Gyu called out to him, and judging by the confused look on his face, Sung Gyu could say that he hardly understood what he meant. But he still did salute him as he walked away, and Sung Gyu returned it, leaned against the wall, buried his cold hands in his pockets and smiled. The day turned out a lot better than he had expected it to be.

And admittedly so, what’s better than a day which turned out better than expected was a day which was long and held more good things to last. He could swear it became a lot better as Eunji finally skipped her way up the gravel towards him, and his heart beat so impossibly hard, his lips stretching into a smile without he even realizing it. She stood before him, and she was a head shorter than him, which he realized he hadn’t taken note of for the past year entirely. He straightened a bit, still pretty much leaning against the wall and buried both his cold hands in his pockets. “So?” She asked him, and then only, his smile waivered.

Of course, it had only been a moment. Eunji had hardly told him anything except for that she no longer lived in Ansan. He didn’t think or ask any further; whether she had her own flat or whether she lived with someone else. He could say, by the way she dressed, she spoke and even by the tired creases around her eyes that the former might not be exactly the case, so he didn’t think anymore. And now, the bubble was about to burst. She was to return to wherever she lived now, and him walk his way all by himself back to his empty home, and perhaps visit Junmyun and join them for tea or something so he didn’t have to think about everything that the day had brought him.

“So?” He returned himself, for the lack of better things to say. She grinned softly, but he could tell that she had the same question in her mind. ‘What now?’ She quietly watched him for a moment, and a chilly wind blew past them, bringing her long dark strands of hair to her face. Impulsively, Sung Gyu reached over and tucked it behind her ear, his other hand still in his pocket for warmth. She glanced at him, a timid smile on her lips, almost childlike, and he noticed just how much the dynamics have changed between them. The Eunji he knew wouldn’t be shy around him. If anything, they’d be bickering about something or the other by now.

But change was okay. Change was good.

He hadn’t even realized that his hand was still on her face, now caressing her cheek with his thumb. Her skin felt so soft, yet cold against his rough, warm fingers. He stared into her eyes, he saw her smile, and thought about so many things that he realized he hadn’t for the months which had passed without them seeing each other. One was that, even though he had left her, he had longed to see her every single day, and just like she had told him earlier, he almost physically felt that pain. The way he missed her, he didn’t think could be explained in words. Another was that, had he not impulsively done what he did, back then, would the things have been different? Would they have gotten together much earlier? Would they be living in his immaculate little home, happy and peaceful and most importantly, as a family? The more he thought about them, the more he understood that many things in life happened for a reason, and hadn’t they taken the exact same course that they already did, he and Eunji wouldn’t be standing in the lawn of a Mansion which was converted into a children’s home somewhere in Incheon under the heavy lavender sky, smiling at each other and gazing into each other’s eyes as if they were seeing themselves for the very first time.

And then it came to him like a flash, that the day still had more hours to spare and perhaps, they could allow the bubble to last a little longer. He cupped one of her cheeks and she gracefully leaned into the touch, gazing into his eyes as if all she could see was him. And then, vary at first, he tilted his head and stared down at her, wondering if it was the right way through this. He glanced beyond her shoulder for a split of a second, and above the lines of barely trees, he made out the heaviness of the sky. He looked back into her eyes, then, and made up his mind. For the better or the worse.

“Eunji?” He called her; she raised her brows and smiled.

“Hm?”

A moment of hesitation, and-

“Would you like to see our new home?”

*

She remembered, in a book she once read, there was a woman who found lost things for people for a living. She searched for the lost one in a pair of socks or the butts of earrings people had misplaced by mistakes. In odd occasions, when the bizarre things would happen, she’d find herself looking for missing people, and more often than not, in the process of doing this, she’d lose herself on her own.

The reason why this story which she had read back when she was young and had pretty much forgotten what it was, came up was because at some point in her life, when she had thought she lost someone, she had lost Sung Gyu to be precise, Eunji had wished the woman in this book was real so that, together with her, she could set out on a cross-country expedition, searching for the man and the child she loved. There was not even a trace of him, nothing to pick up clues from, and even the people who did have clues withheld them from her as if they were precious details so relevant to protect him from the great evil. It broke her heart, every time she thought about it, especially given that now that he knew their feelings were mutual, there was no reason to hide from her. As time passed, Eunji always mounted it down to him wanting to straighten out his life first. Yes, it was in complete shambles, yes, that Yoora woman had screwed a whole lot in his life. But no matter how much she tried to not to think about him, she was constantly drawn back to him, and she always found herself wishing that one day, if they were ever destined to meet again, they’d stumble upon each other, and then they’d kiss, they’d love, and time would be right again.

Destiny was a funny thing, really. She hadn’t even believed that it actually existed. In her mind, nothing that’s not physically perceivable actually did exist, but right now she might change her mind because, right by some kind of strange miracle, they’d stumbled upon exactly how she had imagined, in the weirdest circumstances, and then they had kissed, they had loved.

And now they were walking down the empty roads somewhere in Incheon, Sung Gyu’s hand warmly engulfing hers as the wind carried the damp scent of the wet soil and drying leaves, as if fate had taken her exactly in the direction that she had always wished it would.

Sung Gyu had told her that his new place was just a couple of blocks away from the mansion and that they were going to walk there; but in the pace that they were walking, nonchalantly so, hand in hand, Eunji didn’t think they’d make it home soon though it’s the shortest distance they were taking. She suspected that he didn’t know the exact directions, if him studying the maps on his phone a couple of times explained anything. It was fine, really, for that still earned them more time to spend together.

Eunji hadn’t dared to look at the time. She imagined that it should be around past four. Just in case she got late, she had texted Howon and told him that the project was taking longer. She felt terrible to be lying right out of , to the both of them. She felt like she was cheating. On one hand, Howon was convinced she was fully engaged in helping a bunch of orphaned children, on the other hand Sung Gyu hadn’t any idea that she’d left Howon cluelessly behind and was spending time with him. She suspected that he knew, still. Sung Gyu had that ability to read things right off the first page. And they’ve known each other long enough for him to easily read her emotions. Perhaps, he was being the same as her; blissfully ignorant so that this little bubble of an occasion would last longer, and they could be together as long as they could.

They were traversing a small community park at that moment, walking slowly through the overgrown green grass which were crusted with early winter dew. Overhead, the trees provided an occasional shelter, and scattered around on those little circular wooden benches, seated together were a few couples, lost in their own worlds. She felt like he’d brought her there with purpose, and feeling the warmth of his hand around hers, she smiled.

She probably didn’t have to look at all those hand holding couples in parks and cinemas and feel bitter around them. She guessed she was more of a part of the crowd now.

The two of them came to a clearing, then, and edging the green grass was a small pond devoid of the ducks she very much would have loved to see. She recalled his words from back then, and when she was just about to voice it out, he beat it to her, as if they’ve been thinking the same thing.

“They’ve migrated”

Surprised, Eunji stopped walking and turned to face him. There was a knowing look on his face, his brows challengingly raised and hidden adorably beneath his dark bangs. She took note of how much he had changed over the last few months. Quite notably, he had put on weight. His cheeks were round, and his face was full; there was no longer a frustrated stubble and his eyes were clear and beautiful, no longer red rimmed and droopy, exhausted by everything in his life. He was glowing. He seemed…happy. His hair, dark, fluffy and somehow straighter than she remembered, showed that he had finally remembered to trim it before it grew too long. And that made him look a lot younger than he really was.

“Hm, what?” He asked her gently, a small cheeky smile on his lips. The sun was reflected in his eyes, and they were glowing like stars, only until his smile widened and they disappeared beneath two crescent moons. Eunji suddenly felt indescribably accomplished. Perhaps, being apart and letting him straighten his life out have done wonders, because for once in her life, she was seeing him absolutely contented.

“Nothing” Eunji shook her head, though she continued to stare at him.

“Can’t be nothing, you have this weird look on your face” He replied, making her pout.

“How weird?” She asked him.

“Pretty weird”

Eunji merely smiled in response, averting her eyes only for the briefest moment. The truth was, it all still felt so unreal that she was afraid, if she so much as blinked, everything will disappear in a hazy dream. She wanted to hold on to this moment, engrave these memories deep into her heart so that one day when time had passed, and she had forgotten her name, this moment, right now will be all that she could recall. Noticeably, everything was so different from how they have been with Howon the past few months. Though they’ve started out sweetly, she was constantly on the edge of their relationship, her mind in a whirlwind. On one hand, his mother was making her life miserable, and having left the Nam’s house in an impulsive haste, she couldn’t even move back with them without getting her pride badly hurt. With every single day she spent thinking about Sung Gyu, her love for Howon was beginning to slowly diminish, leaving a gaping hole as it did.

But Sung Gyu…Eunji thought that as soon as he returned to her life, he had gone and boldly taken the opportunity to fill her heart and mind with him completely, and now she felt like she was a wholly different person.

“You’re cold” His voice ripped into her thoughts, all of a sudden, and she looked up, mildly surprised. “Huh?”

“You’re cold, you’re shaking” He sighed, and shook his head as if he couldn’t believe she hadn’t come prepared for the weather. She couldn’t, actually. She had only left with a jacket which didn’t exactly serve its purpose against the intensity of the weather, and of course, she had no scarf.

“O-oh” She wrapped her hands around herself. Sung Gyu gave her a smile which seemed to imply that he thought she was outrageous (or outrageously cute, she couldn’t tell) and then he began to unfurl the grey and blue scarf wrapped around his neck. She remembered that scarf; it’s the one his mother knitted for him, and Sung Jae also had a similar one of his own. She watched him timidly, standing just about on her tiptoes and shaking, either by the cold or the din of the moment. She fluttered her eyes close as he rested the scarf around her, slowly wrapping it around her just like he always did on his son, and that vaguely made her feel like a child herself. Once done, he took a step back, grinning as if satisfied by his work. But then the grin turned into a confused frown, then to a look of mild fascination. A hand reached up to her hair and brushed something off her. “Hm? Is that-?”

And that’s when she saw it. Tiny soft specs of featherlight weight falling from the sky, thousands and millions of them. Some landed on their clothes and their hair. Those which fell onto their skin immediately melted and disappeared, evaporated as a drop of rain. She lifted her hands in the air and allowed them to fall into them.

Destiny was a strange thing, really. So was timing. She wondered if the two of them were correlating.

It was the first snow of the year.

As the snow rained upon them from overhead, landing in their hair and on their shoulders, Eunji tried to gather them in her hand, which was childishly futile as they melted on the heat of her skin. She looked up at him and fleetingly realized that he was watching her, an affectionate glint in his eyes.

“It’s the first snow” She told him, and before she could stop herself, she laughed; softly at first, but then uncontrollably, almost childlike. There were snowflakes all over them, and the ones in his dark locks of hair appeared like glimmering stars. The way he looked at her was captivating, even as she boldly reached over and dusted off the snowflakes in his hair. He had taken a step closer to her without her even realizing it, and as she stood on the tips of her boots, trying to reach the snow on top of his head, she felt his arm slowly snaking around her waist. He brought her closer, so close, that the tips of their noses were almost touching. Her own hands had naturally come to a rest on his shoulders, and she tried so hard to keep herself steady in his arms. He was making it impossible; the glow in his eyes, the slow, disarming smile, the warmth of his embrace, his everything.

“It’s the first snow” He reiterated himself, but only in a slow, hoarse whisper, the sensation of which coursed under her skin and reached all her nerve endings in an enchanting collision. She smiled in response, but she wasn’t sure if that ever even reached her eyes. When they moved, they did almost in sync. His head tilted to a side and lowered, she fluttered her eyes close and reached for him the furthest that she could. As their lips touched and fumbled for each other, Eunji could swear the entire world fell away around them, all until the last of the remnants remained, floating about them like the snow descending from above. He kissed her slow, sweet and long; his fingers gracefully threading through her hair and his breath fanning her skin. He kissed her with fiery, gratifying passion, as if trying to show her everything that they could have been, could be and will be as the time passed. He tasted sweet upon her lips, gently prying them apart and reaching beyond, and she willingly granted him that, allowing him to search within her. They kissed until all the unspoken possibilities became the reality, all the broken strings in their hearts in an unrefined past were mended and were good as new. When he finally pulled away from her, she saw her entire world within his eyes, and it took her everything to hold back her breath and let the words echo only in her mind, the words that she’d been longing to tell him from the day she realized that he meant to her so much more than he ever thought he did. ‘I love you’

She loved him. She loved Kim Sung Gyu. And she hoped, from the furthest depths of her heart that he too, by the touch of her lips and the gaze in her eyes, understood that for her, he was the entire world.

Sung Gyu’s new family home was situated in a nice little neighborhood where people grew blossoming vines on rusty arches and greeted each other good morning over the fence while they washed their cars; the kind of a neighborhood that she had only seen in those sappy weekend dramas and read about in books. When they arrived at the grove; small, identical houses placed on the either sides, their lawns and the rooftops littered with snow, it felt so welcoming. It almost felt like home. They walked down the lane in a slow, nonchalant pace, his hand holding hers and they both, entwined, buried deep in the pocket of his jacket. They didn’t speak much, except for Sung Gyu occasionally mentioning something about his new neighbors, about his new environment or even about the weather. She tried to answer the best she could although she was feeling giddy inside, and excited, even. It was as if he was showing her his new self, folding page after page in the new chapter of his life, and that made her wonder where she probably belonged in it. They passed by a couple of houses, all which looked more or less the same, until they came to nearly the end of the grove. He halted then, and let out a big, contented sigh. Eunji looked about, there were five houses around them, and she wondered which one it was. Sung Gyu let go of her hand, which she slipped out of his pocket, and then he stepped towards the house on the far right; its walls clear white, the lawn well-trimmed with a couple of flower pots, now devoid of blossoms except for the one with baby roses, and a lone couple swing slowly swinging in the wind. She held her breath as he unlocked the short iron gate and pushed it wide open. He glanced over at her and he smiled.

“Here we are”

It was inevitable. Eunji was beginning to see herself as a part of this place she could call home. She remembered, back then, how much she felt the confined, windowless condominium of theirs was her home, and that simply wasn’t the notion of a home that made her feel that way; it was the feeling of belongingness she always felt towards Sung Gyu, towards his son, their dear little family, and unsurprisingly so, it still hadn’t waned away over the time. If she was to be honest, she felt that the emotion had only grown stronger.

From the short gate, they were led down a narrow cobble path across the lawn towards the three steps which led to the front door. It was an adorable little house with so many windows which seemed to compensate for the windowless life the two have spent for the past years, and it made her smile. To the right of the house was a driveway and a sizable garage, the gravel now littered with snow, and a red bicycle was haphazardly parked against a wall. The cobble path was also lined with small bushes, its purplish green leaves dusted with small specs of white snow. She was surprised that he even bothered to take care of the garden, given that the grass seemed to be nicely trimmed and rose bushes well-tended to. But as she was marveling at them, he was up by the front door, unlocking it and with a small, embarrassed smile, he said; “My new baby sitter is obsessed with the garden”

Eunji’s cheeks were flaming as she merely nodded in response. The new baby sitter. She could swear now that every time she’d even think of the title she’d spontaneously combust.

Sung Gyu led her in, and it staggeringly felt like home. She was immediately welcomed by the scent of potpourri as soon as she stepped inside, which she had never come across previously in their condominium, and she took in the interior, somewhat unexpectedly clean and organized which she supposed was in courtesy of the new baby sitter. The living room to the right was illuminated by the evening sun seeping through the tall French windows which opened up to the garden, and the kitchen on the other side was a wide, open planned expanse, and surprisingly so, the house still had an abundance of windows. She found herself smiling widely, looking around in fascination.

“What do you think?” Sung Gyu Asked her gently as he helped her out of her coat. She unfurled the scarf around her neck distractedly looking around herself, taking note of the framed artwork and the photographs leading up to the staircase. Sung Gyu had really gone all out to build a beautiful home.

“It’s…it’s so open” Eunji breathed out finally, her smile widening, and she met his eyes. There was a soft, warm smile on his lips which made her melt a little inside. “I mean, there are so many windows, so it’s so very bright”

Sung Gyu shrugged, taking off his jacket himself. “Well, Jae and I decided its finally time to step out of the windowless territory” He smiled. “And he also decided on the swings”

“Oh…” she nodded and gestured at the framed paintings. “And the wall decoration too, I suppose?”

“He worked really hard” Sung Gyu took Eunji’s jacket from her hand and left them both hanging on the railing of the staircase. “Come on, let me show you around”

Sung Gyu gave her a complete ten minutes long tour around the house. He started from the topmost floor which was Sung Jae’s bedroom entirely (And she was awed at how huge it was comparing to his previous bedroom) which had pastel blue walls, covered with magazine clippings of all sorts of things he loved, some more of his paintings, a cabinet full of action figures of famous anime characters and mangas and a messy table along with an equally messy bed. Eunji felt warm in her eyes and also in her heart. This is where her favorite boy resided now, who, apparently wasn’t at home, and Eunji tried her best to hide the disappointment. “He’s over next doors” Sung Gyu said, peering over the large windows placed in a strange angle in the slope of the roof. “There is this sweet pair of twins over there, a girl and a boy, and they made quick friends. Now Jae’s busy all the time with them, I hardly get a chance to spend time with my son” He was smiling even though he was shaking his head as if in disapproval. He looked over at her, then, and his face perceptibly changed, perhaps seeing her expression. “You want to see him? Shall I call him over?”

Eunji considered it for a briefest moment and shook her head. One step at a time. If she was to see him the same day as she met Sung Gyu, she’d be so overwhelmed and won’t be able to take herself back home, it would be too much for her for one day. “I can come over another time just to see him” she told him with a smile, but she couldn’t hide the uncertainty in her voice, which she was certain he too, noticed, if the small smile on his lips explained anything.

They moved downstairs then, to the first floor where there were only two bedrooms, smaller than Sung Jae’s but sizeable nevertheless. One he introduced as the guest bedroom, but it was mostly cluttered with stuff she recognized as from their old home and it wasn’t in the good condition for someone to sleep in, and he hurriedly pulled the door close, an embarrassed tinge of red on his ears. “Uh, well…you know, we still got, um, a bit of cleaning to do” he laughed nervously as they moved to the other room. He introduced it as his own bedroom, which looked more or less the same as his old one. Dull, with minimal furniture, a messy bed, clothes folded on his table and a few miscellaneous items on the side tables of the bed. What Eunji realized with a pang was that…well, it didn’t look like a woman had ever been brought into it. Sung Gyu cleared his throat and hurriedly shut the door close, averting his eyes, but Eunji couldn’t help sighing in relief. Whatever had happened with Yoora, she had absolutely no idea. When she first found him, it was Yoora that she first thought about, and had her worried the entire time, a deadweight in the pit of her stomach all until he admitted that there was nobody, she supposed it was even more of a relief to see the signs with her own eyes.

They moved downstairs, briefly looked at the living room where there was a framed photograph of Sung Gyu and Sung Jae, a recent one of them sitting in the swings, hands thrown over their shoulders and looking more like friends than father and son, and then he led her to the kitchen.

She had to hand it to him, the kitchen had to be the most immaculate one she’d seen for some time and it was obvious nobody really did much in it. The cabinets were super clean, there were no dirty dishes in the sink, no takeaway wrappers and dirty crusted coffee mugs lining the granite. The swear jar, half full, was in the same place as last time, and it made her smile. There were too many windows for a kitchen, still, the evening golden sun seeped in, and was reflected in his eyes, making them appear very, very brown. Even his hair had a tinge of gold and he reminded her of the warm summer days. He caught her staring, and he smiled. Eunji could swear she died a little inside.

“So, um, coffee?” He asked her, being the first one to break their wordless exchange and moved towards the cupboards.

“Yeah, coffee would be fine” She answered distractedly as she looked around herself. There was a glass paneled door leading to the back garden, where the grass, also nicely trimmed, were encrusted with snow. She walked over and peaked outside to see another couple of potted baby rose bushes and garden tools rusting under the roof.

“So, um, the new baby sitter…” She started, feeling giddy even as she pronounced the word, and walked back towards the kitchen cabinets. Sung Gyu was busy pouring water into the coffee machine. “Yeah?”

“Is she, like, nice?”

There was a moment of quietness as he struggled with the lid.

“She’s a retired school teacher and willingly took over the job” He said, wiping his hands on a kitchen towel. “Junmyun, my neighbor and I had to take turns taking care of the three kids for a little while, but my job is, you know” He shrugged like it was something she would have always known. “There’s no specific time that I work at. Sometimes its late in the night, sometimes I have no work at all, or I work for three days straight or something like that…and he’s a pharmacist. We couldn’t handle it and we were looking for a baby sitter. Missus Yoon willingly agreed”

“Missus Yoon” Eunji repeated to herself.

“Yeah, and…well, she’s around my mum’s age, she has a son who’s also named Sung Jae and sometimes comes over to bother the kids” He said raising his brows as if to prove a point. They were quiet afterwards, as Sung Gyu poured the coffee, and he only talked to ask if she liked milk in her coffee, and she only talked to say that she didn’t. He brought both the mugs to where she stood under the sunlight seeping through the window behind the sink and she marveled at how the golden shine casted wonders on his hair, in his eyes and his pristine skin. He looked surreal for a moment, so as the entire moment; the fact that he was there again, happy and beautiful and so, so real, in his new, immaculate little family home with lots of windows and nicely tended baby roses, having sorted his life out and simply, just, happy. Something snapped inside her, she supposed her heart just cracked open, and suddenly she wanted him more than anything else she ever had wanted in her life. She wanted to reach out to him, pull him into a warm embrace and tell him, god, how much she loved him and missed him and how she would never let him out of her sight again. Her hands were trembling around the mug she held, and by the way he gazed at her, so warm, mesmerizing, she could say that he felt that too. An enigmatic exchange. When she couldn’t hold herself together any longer, overwhelmed by the inexplicably rushed abundance of emotions, she set the mug aside, far off on the cabinet, turned to face him and drank in the sight of how brown his eyes appeared under the sun.

“This…this is perfect” She told him, her voice so small and almost tearful. A moment of hesitation, and- “You’re perfect”

It was in that moment that he too, set his mug aside and came to her in two hurried strides, not once ripping his gaze off her. Soon she found herself trapped between him and the cabinet behind her, so impossibly close to him, the sweet musky scent of lemons and breezy springs of him so strong in her breath and his breath colliding hers. He kissed her, his hand going to the back of her head, tilting upwards and fumbling urgently for her lips. Her hands too, moved by their own accord, reaching behind his head and another resting on his chest, now feeling his heart beat so hard against her. Starting out soft and calm in the beginning, it didn’t take long for their emotions to intensify. All the longing and desperation they’ve kept suppressed in their hearts for far too long came to them in a hurried rush, breaking their patience apart entirely. Soon, they were searching for everything they missed out on each other; the small, tentative touches, the long enthralling kisses, murmurs of imperceptible words which made sense only in the moment, only in their minds. They were so close together as if they couldn’t get any closer than they already were, but they could hardly have enough of each other. His arms wrapped around her waist, and hers s up and held onto his neck, soon before he heaved her up and set her on top of the cold granite surface. She pulled away from him just for a gasp of air and he kissed her, on her temple, on the tip of her nose, her eyes, her cheeks and the corner of her lips. Her hand descended on his chest, and then upwards, feeling the warmth of his exposed skin before reaching behind his head, her fingers threading through his hair and pulling him back into yet another long, breathtaking kiss. By the time they finally pulled apart, breathing hard, their cheeks tinted crimson, and small embarrassed smiles, Eunji realized that they’ve been bold and time defying. He gazed down into her eyes, warm and gratifying, and she reached out and arranged the soft bangs over his eyes. “The coffee is running cold” She told him in a hoarse whisper.

“Hm?”

“The coffee…”

Sung Gyu looked to a side only for a briefest second, and then smiled. “I guess you’re right” but that didn’t end the moment, still, because he took yet another minute too long to kiss her even further and heave her up and set her down on the ground as he did. Eunji could swear she hadn’t kissed or wanted to kiss someone in this passion and to this length ever in her life.

In the end, the two of them decided to shift into the living room and just talk. It’s been long since they ever had a proper conversation, the last few times they did, their emotions had taken the best of them that they’ve either been fighting or, as of recent events, kissing. So, for that one moment, they thought they should do neither (though in a wordless agreement) and just actually talk.

She asked him how he was doing, and he admitted that he’d been busy, that his new job for the Scene of Crime investigators had been a heap of dramatic events involving lots of swearing, sleepless nights and even crying. He told her about Sung Jae, his new school, his nice and understating class teacher and for once, how he was happy with how schools were treating him. He talked about his neighbor too; ‘The one who looked after Sung Jae all the time’ but it also vaguely seemed to imply that the neighbor took care of him too, though he never admitted. He spoke a little about his parents too, and then-

“I realized that…that Yoora never wanted to be a mother” He simply said.

That was the question which has been floating around in her mind ever since she met him again; If he wasn’t with anyone, what happened to the woman whom he chose over her? She was too afraid to broach the subject, afraid that she would come up as a constant and she’d lose even the thinnest fiber of hope she had left. But then, with his words and all the emotions etched on his face made her hopes even stronger, if the long moments of passion they’ve spent so far didn’t mean anything (Which, if she were honest, meant so much more)

And she dared to ask him the inevitable question. “What…what happened?”

He let out a heavy sigh and he almost looked like he didn’t want to talk about it. He stared at his feet as he spoke, not wanting to see her worried gaze, and finally began to out the thoughts which he’d probably held in for long. He told her everything; how he only wanted to form a family so that he and Sung Jae would no longer have to face the cruel prejudices of the world, but then how it turned against him when his heart changed and he was hit by the realization that he only liked the idea of Yoora as he had for the past years while he truly…

And then how he found out, in a fateful moment and unlikely circumstances that she’d been married and that the only reason why she’d wanted Sung Jae back was to prove her former husband and his family a point to save her marriage. Eunji felt her blood boiling in rage inside her. She had known, always, that the woman’s return probably had more intentions than one. No woman would have the sudden epiphany of loving the child they abandoned years ago months after giving birth, that simply didn’t happen. It was obvious that she was using Sung Gyu’s only weakness against him for her benefit, and-

Well, it’s all in the past now, but…

“As soon as I found out, I felt like …I hurt you because of her, I let her use him and me and didn’t listen to what you had to say…I was total back then, and so I couldn’t face you again…” He spoke in a low voice and it was evident that he’d been deeply hurt by the entire incident. “And I…well, I got the opportunity to transfer way before that happened, and I had the decision already made by then. But I never meant to…hide from you or-or Woohyun…but I just didn’t have a choice…” A deep breath, and “I was just…scared that I might end up hurting you even more”

Eunji reached out to him, then, and wrapped a hand around his, at which point she turned to him and she gave him a warm smile. “That’s all in the past, now, aren’t they?”

A quiet moment ensued and Sung Gyu responded by threading his fingers through hers, and he smiled. “Yeah…” Silence, and then he asked him how she had been, immediately throwing their unrefined past under the rug. Which was a good way to go.

She knew that asking her how she was doing was solely a generic question; she had asked him the same, since they were meeting after a long time. But she actually found herself wondering which bits she was going to divulge, and which points she wouldn’t. She almost felt like a cheat, to have even thought that she should keep certain events of her life hidden, and she had thought she was doing it for his sake. But then, she looked into his eyes and saw them full of warmth, love and concern, simply ripping her apart with the promise of holding her and loving her would she break in his arms. Something snapped inside her, and before she could stop herself, she told him; “Things haven’t been great” And that, she supposed was the only way that she would ever feel even slightly better by the direction that her life was going; telling the man she loved everything which was stewing up inside her, because she knew that he held the promise of comfort in his eyes.

Sung Gyu pressed his lips together, reached to take her hand and then he smiled. “Talk to me”

And she did. She told him everything too. It came out as a heap of rushed words pouring out of her lips as if he had set the flood gates open, her words coated with emotions she’d been holding back for so long. She wasn’t in good terms with her sister ever since Woohyun told her the truth, and at that point Sung Gyu apologized, said it was his fault and asked if there was any way he could make things better. She shook her head and said ‘No’, it wasn’t his fault, its what’s wrong with her and the rest of the world for judging him in a way he didn’t deserve to be judged and not understanding that she loved the person that she wanted to and that conditions didn’t matter. He probably noted that she was confessing that she loved him, indirectly so, that he appeared kind of tearful. Eunji almost wanted to hold him in her arms for a long, long time. But she refrained. Then she moved on to tell him about Woohyun; that he had finally planned out the wedding and it was going to be held in another week. Sung Gyu’s face fell that moment, and at that point his eyes were absolutely filled with moist. Woohyun was his best friend, and as much as Sung Gyu missed him, he missed him too. Woohyun would never admit to the truth, she told him. Ever since he realized Sung Gyu had broken his ties with him, Woohyun never stopped calling him a stupid, cowardly bastard and swore to himself that he would never bother look for him, but Eunji secretly knew that he was the first one to ask Howon where he had transferred to, and that he had also drunkenly admitted that Sung Gyu was a jackass but he was his jackass and that he loved him. As Eunji told him all of this, Sung Gyu looked like he was about to cry. So, she held his hand and promised that she would explain to him, everything and get him to come over sometime so that they can make friends again.

And then, she told him about Howon. Vary in the beginning, she didn’t want to reveal too much about their relationship. Howon liked to live a well compartmentalized, sheltered life. Nobody at work knew whom he dated or where he lived, and she had no idea what went on at work except for the very generic details. She felt as if, by divulging in a part of his life that he probably hadn’t shared with Sung Gyu would somehow be unfair to him. But then again, nothing was fair for her in her life with him. She was constantly subjected to his mother’s cruel doings and he hardly seemed pressed about what was happening, neither had he tried to talk her out of it, only mounting her behavior to her having lived a difficult life. It wasn’t fair. Nobody had their lives easy. It was only that life was difficult to everyone in different ways. In that sense, it was only fair for her to share her worries with him.

And so, she told him everything that she had never shared with anybody else before.

Sung Gyu listened patiently, appearing full of concern and interrupted only at some points to ask questions or clarify things. She told him about the way Howon’s mother treated her, and even worse, how Howon always smothered it down without actually doing something about it. She realized that she had been hurt and suppressed by his behavior towards her more than she had let on. By the end of her account, she sounded oddly beaten up. Sung Gyu reached out and squeezed her shoulder. He was rather attentive and affectionate, although she imagined him to be jealous and possessive; but no, for that moment he was the caring fatherly figure she had grown to love. He asked her then, if she had ever done anything that might have particularly triggered her. She couldn’t think of anything except for existing. She told him that. Then he stared at her for a long, quiet moment.

“Well” He let out a sigh after a while and averted his gaze. “The truth is, we did know that his mother had…issues, because she came over to the station a couple of times, brought him his homemade lunch and even made sure to bring us our own share that Howon didn’t have to share with others. But we didn’t…know much…” He heaved a breath and clasped his hands together. “Howon never really said anything. We knew that he had only her, so we didn’t ask him anything…he lived a secretive life. And I…well, I never thought that it was this…bad” he looked over at her, at her stricken expression and then added as an afterthought. “Also, we know that she’s a retired school teacher”

Eunji scoffed and rolled her eyes. “She must have been a complete witch back then”

Silence ensued afterwards, and he appeared to be deep in his thoughts. A moment later, he said; “I’m sorry that you have to go through…all of that”

“Hm?” she turned towards him, but he kept gazing down at his feet. The evening had turned darker by then, and the street lights were turned up. From next door she could hear children screaming, and as excited as she was to hear that sound, she didn’t think much of it.

“I’m sorry that you have to go through it” He reiterated, clearer this time.

“But why?” Eunji raised her brows. “It was I who chose him, and neither did I know that his mother was like that…”

Silence, and he admitted in a small voice; “If I never ran away, we could have solved it much earlier…”

Eunji didn’t even take a moment to think before responding. “You wouldn’t have been happy, then, and we would have both been hurt in the end”

He remained quiet for a moment, and then he finally agreed. “That’s…that’s true…” He sighed and sat back, finally facing her. “So, what do you do? I mean, if you and Howon…”

“I don’t think I can love him the way he wants me to” Eunji admitted without a beat. “For one, I’m incapable of having feelings for two people at once, and I think, with how things have been with his mother, our relationship is going more and more off the course every day. There will come a day when there’s nothing left of it…” She sighed. “That’s how it’s going”

“Maybe you should have a proper talk about it” Sung Gyu suggested helpfully.

“We do…everyday” Eunji ran a frustrated hand through her hair and leaned back in the sofa seat, facing him. “But he always blames it on her having had a hard time. At some point he said that I was finding it hard to make things work with her because I wasn’t in good terms with my own mother…”

She recalled that incident; where they were both slightly tipsy after a bottle or two of Soju, and his mother, as always had brought up something about her, something to do with drinking, and she had somehow lost her . She’d drunkenly admitted that she could no longer tolerate the way she treated her, at which point Howon upped and told her that. She’d been thinking about it for long. The truth was, the only reason why Eunji didn’t like her mother much was because she was mostly neglected as a child. She was closer to her father while Eunmi was the brightest and her favorite of the two. She was always compared to her and sometimes told that she followed after her father the most. Eunji always taught it was a good thing. She still does, because she loved him. But her mother always made it sound like such a bad thing, only because she didn’t do well in studies or life in general. But Howon never understood that. He thought all the children were treated in a possessive, obsessive manner that he was by his mother, and in any case if they were treated any differently, in his mind, it all came down to the child. So basically, it was Eunji’s fault, for him. She was deeply hurt by this occasion though she never really brought it up it up again and had the whole incident thrown under the rug…until now.

“Don’t all mothers have hard times?” Sung Gyu added thoughtfully. “At least Howon’s mother didn’t have her grandchild abandoned by the gate because her son was irresponsible…but my mum never took it out on anyone”

“Howon’s mother has a serious case of empty nest syndrome” Eunji replied. “Whereas…” She took in a deep, long breath and faced him with a smile. “I love your mum. I love her more than I love my own…and for the past months, not only did I think about you. I thought so much about her too…I missed her. It was a strange realization at first. But I did…”

“My mum?” Sung Gyu asked her softly, widening his eyes, appearing surprised by her revelation. She wouldn’t blame him, though. He probably thought it was strange that she missed someone else’s mother, although it was the truth, that she probably loved her more.

“Your mum” Eunji repeated, and she was just about launching at explaining why she thought so, when suddenly he reached over to her and engulfed her in a warm embrace. His arms wrapped around her, pulling her against his chest and she naturally reacted by burying her face in the creases of his shirt and breathing in the sweet, musky scent that she loved. She could swear that all her qualms and troubles immediately wilted away in his presence, in his comfort, and she found herself demanding for more, running her own arms around him, trapping him in her embrace as if she would hold him there as long as time would last.

“You can have my mum” She heard him telling her, his voice reverberating in his chest where she had her ear resting on. “You can have my everything, Eunji…”

“That’s…a very bold thing to say” Eunji muttered, although deep inside, she felt the strings of her heart coming undone upon his words.

She could almost feel him smile. Then he slowly patted her on her back, kissing her long and warm on top of her head. “You know…things don’t stay the same forever. They change…they change for the best…”

“You’re saying that Howon’s mother would change” Eunji pointed out, her voice muffled against his grey shirt.

“Not per se…” He thoughtfully replied. “Taking ‘things’ out of context, I believe that they always change for the best…that’s one thing I learned from my life in the past few months”

Eunji pulled away from and looked up with a frown. “You sound all so sure”

“Because I am” He said, smiling, and when his hand reached her and slowly pushed her bangs off her eyes, she realized what he was trying to imply. And he clarified by admitting it to her himself. “I have you here, now, don’t I?”

“You do” She said.

And he kissed her on her forehead; a sweet, lingering touch. “That’s exactly what I mean”

*

Woohyun had only woken up, after having spent the previous day entirely on the run, that Saturday morning when Howon rung him and informed him that he would have to take Dong Woo’s place for the day. His head was ringing. The previous night hazy in his mind. On the other side of the bed lied Bomi, peacefully asleep, buried under the duvet that he almost wanted to delve back in and curl around her, drift back to sleep. He wasn’t really a heavy sleeper. He liked working more than that. But since recently had been edging towards the opposite end where he preferred sleep over work, simply because work had suddenly become a dull part of his life, one that he wasn’t particularly looking forward to, especially not on the weekends. He tried to negotiate, asking if there was anyone else who could do it for him. His wedding was just around the corner, and as the groom, he had way too many things to take care of. He had taken as many days as he can afford off work, just so he could help Bomi work things out. Despite her demanding job for the papers, she’d tried her best to balance between work and life that he couldn’t let her handle things by herself anymore. Even today, they had things planned, and there was no way that he could bail out on her. But Howon, the bastard, had his ways of luring people into work. He had told him without hesitating once that they were short in numbers. Their team was short in numbers.

Of course, the team was short in numbers. They were as little as five people, now, all because some bastard had upped and left without a trace. And that somehow, always had Woohyun dragging his tired back to work, like pooches to guarding their empty homes. He wasn’t sure why he even stayed, working at the same damn place, he wasn’t sure why he even cared. One thing he did know was that had he too, upped and taken a transfer to somewhere, he would have been the same cowardly idiot that somebody happened to be and that was going to hurt his pride.

Woohyun was dressed and making breakfast when Bomi trudged into the kitchen, all droopy eyes and messy head and it was almost too painful to inform her that he’d been suddenly needed at work. Bomi was sweet, matured and understanding. She always admitted that she’d be fine on her own, and never had once said that she couldn’t take care of things, even though, at some occasions, she was struggling. There were more reasons than one as to why he truly loved her. He made her breakfast, they dined together while talking about the rest that was left to be done. Wedding planning was harder than he thought it would be, apparently. He would have known before, if his idiot of a best friend ever bothered to get married before he-,

Anyway, Woohyun had long decided that certain people who no longer wanted to be in his life were simply unnecessary. He had stopped looking out for them, caring for them and trying to trace back to where they possibly vanished to. They could migrate to the Antarctic’s and reside in an igloo for all he cared. It’s been long since he decided he should just move on with what’s left of his life and be happy. Something that Boohyun always used to tell him was that there was no point crying over spilled milk.

What he was supposed to do that day was fetch a couple of directors of a huge multinational company from the airport, welcome them to the country and guard them all until they’re safely transported to the posh Incheon hotels they were staying. Work passed by almost in a blur. One moment he’s idly standing by the entrance of the VIP lounge, together with Howon who looked bored and probably a bit like his pet hamster had died. Howon was still dating Eunji and Woohyun was still trying to get his head around it, and ever since ‘someone’ disappeared, he and Howon hadn’t been on the best of terms (that was probably because Woohyun had been constantly tailing him around asking for his whereabouts, but that was a story he would rather not divulge in) to say that it was uncomfortable was an understatement. The whole time, Woohyun had his eyes glued to his phone, and at times they weren’t, he had his hands ed in his suit pockets, watching the people passing by. And the next moment, he was already riding with the two directors in the immaculate car he’d been given for the task over his own, which he left at the airport car park, to the hotel they were staying. Once he dropped them off, he had the driver drop him back off at the airport, where he met Howon again, and as it happened, two other VIP members were on the way and he was waiting for them. It would probably take the whole day as the plane had delayed. It was already past lunch time by then, and Woohyun was starving. He stayed nevertheless, simply because the team was ing short of numbers.

It was only one member that they lacked. It wasn’t like the whole world revolved around him.

Woohyun hated to admit, however, that a large part of his world did revolve around him, the one who left. Work’s never been the same since he left. Everyone was just quiet, not having someone to annoy at odd moments and the sound of his voice loudly nagging from the coffee room was almost resonant in that quietness. Countless times Woohyun had found himself naturally walking towards his former office, a tiny cubicle always littered with stray papers, Styrofoam cups and unfinished reports, million things in mind and all ready to share with his best friend, only to open the door and find it completely wiped clean. The word was that they will be getting a replacement soon, and interviews were being done for new recruitments. What Woohyun would never verbally admit and never not feel was that big empty void he’d left in the team and in his heart.

Late morning slowly became late afternoon, and as they waited for the delayed flight, they had a quick lunch in one of the cheap fast food places of the airports and it was the quietest meal he had ever had. Woohyun had worked with Howon for almost ten years, and they’ve never actually been quiet. They were of the same age, Woohyun a slightest bit older, and so they had an ample of things to talk about. The reason why they drifted apart was Woohyun’s fault entirely, because the day he found out that he had transferred without his knowledge, Woohyun had quite literally lost his and said the kind of things he should never have said to Howon. And the fact that he was currently dating Woohyun’s sister in law didn’t make things any better. On the other hand, though, he thought the silence was fine. Deafening; but it was alright than having to talk about things that they didn’t want to talk about.

After a few more hours of dull, quiet waiting with minimal words exchanged between each other, the executives finally arrived. There were quite so many of them since they’d come with their families. Woohyun and Howon traveled in two different cars, which was comforting, although one of the executives had a creepy wife who appeared to enjoy staring at strangers a lot.

By the time he got back to the airport to fetch his car, Howon had already left. Relieved that the day was finally coming to an end, he stretched his arms over his head and breathed out a thick, white cloud of smoke. He’d contacted Bomi just a while ago; thankfully she’d been accompanied by her best friend for the day and they’ve been fine. It was now time for him to head home and listen to the tales of her adventures; one of the very few things that he looked forward to in his dull adult life.

But then, as if he’d been waiting for a chance to ruin his day again, Howon was calling him.

“What’s up?” He asked tiredly once he picked up the phone. He was already driving, and the munchkin hadn’t this new sophisticated technology of connecting your car to the stereo system, so he had to turn up the volume of the phone to the highest and attach it to the holder on the dash board.

“Woohyun, can you do me a favor?”

Woohyun mulled it over, his eyes set straight ahead. “Depends on what the favor is” He replied, trying not to sound like a jerk though he did, anyway.

“Can you pick Eunji on your way? She’s in this Orphanage in Incheon. I was supposed to pick her up, but I’ve got to rush. I just got a call from the hospital, and…” he let out a heavy sigh. “Apparently my mum called in saying she was probably getting a heart attack. I have to get to her soon”

Woohyun knew about his mum; not much in the beginning but after having heard quite a bit from Eunji during their drunken conversations, he’d come to understand that 1) She didn’t have what you’d call an ordinary mother-son relationship with Howon and 2) That it wasn’t her first time making an emergency heart-attack phone call to the hospital and taken herself to the hospital. She just liked all the attention and had a weird obsession with having people visiting her there with fruit baskets.

Nevertheless, he agreed. The evening was tiring for him and he hadn’t met Eunji for quite a while since he’d been busy with the wedding planning. He called Bomi the first thing to inform her that he’d be meeting up with Eunji and might get a bit late and ‘Is that okay?’

It was okay for her; usually everything he did was fine for her as long as he didn’t get hurt or killed. Sometimes Woohyun wondered if it was healthy for her to have so much of trust on him; and for this reason, somehow, he worked hard to keep it as well. Howon texted him the address to the place, and Woohyun was typing a text back to Eunji, informing her that he was coming around to get her. But then he got a call from the caterers, something or the other about changes in the menu and what types of champagne he would like and so on. Somehow, he forgot to send the text, though he believed that he sent it. Mindlessly, still deeply engaged in his call, Woohyun drove his way to the orphanage, hurriedly picked up his phone and walked up the cobble path. It looked like they were having some sort of an event, like a tea party but mostly there were kids and some other people, none of whom he recognized as Eunji. The scent of coffee and buttery pastries was strong as he entered the hall through the massive planks of doors. It had snowed outside, and he hadn’t even realized it until he saw the wide expanse of the lawn outside. The world appeared to have moved on while he was stuck in the same place.

He looked through the crowd, but he didn’t find her. Yet he ran into a rather intimidating looking man in a ridiculous Super Mario costume. He stared at his face for a split of a second, realizing that he knew this guy from somewhere but from exactly where? He couldn’t tell. And then the man pushed him lightly, yet he went back stumbling. He said to him; “Woohyun? Woohyun my man what are you doing here!?!”

It took him a moment that it was one of his closest friends from high school. His name was Junhyung and was two years of his senior. But they were both in the music club and hung out in the music room for the most part, doing ridiculous things at times they weren’t doing anything remotely relevant. They drifted apart once he left to college and he didn’t hear from him since, until tonight.

“Hyung!” Woohyun greeted gleefully and they shared a brief hug and pleasantries. There were so many kids flocking around them and Woohyun found himself randomly their heads and holding hands as he talked to his old friend who specifically held onto one little boy. “Anyway, what brings you here?” Junhyung asked conversationally. “It’s an orphanage. The kind of place I’d least expect to find you” He grinned in return.

“Back to you hyung” Woohyun smiled and gestured at his costume. “What is this anyway?”

“This?” he asked, tugging at his clothes as if he was seeing it for the first time. “Ah, we had some event here today for the kids for the founders’ day and my entire team cosplayed…but that doesn’t explain you?” He raised a brow so high that it disappeared in the shadow of his cap.

Woohyun had almost forgotten his intention of coming here the first place that he reacted with hitting his forehead with a palm, making the other chuckle. “Right! Well, actually I was looking for someone”

“Someone?” Junhyung raised both his brows.

“Yeah, my sister”

“I don’t remember you having a sister, Nam Woohyun”

Woohyun awkwardly ruffled his head. “Sister in law, actually. Hyung’s wife’s sister. I was supposed to pick her up from here today…she was said to have come to the volunteering event, but I seem to have missed her somehow?”

“Well, there were lots of potential sister in laws” Junhyung pursed his lips. “Name? Appearance?”

“Jung Eunji. She’s like this-,” Woohyun demonstrated with his hands. “This tall. Long hair, bangs, and talks a lot”

All of a sudden, a glint of recognition appeared on his face, and Woohyun let out a sigh in relief. As long as she wasn’t kidnapped by a creepy chainsaw murderer. “Jung Eunji? She’s your sister in law?”

Woohyun tilted his head. “You seem to know her quite well?”

“I do, I do, she’s wonderful” Junhyung smiled in this strange way which seemed to imply that he probably knew a little more than he should and wasn’t going to say anything to him. Woohyun was annoyed, if anything, and was just about to reply with a snarky remark himself when Junhyung said. “Well, if you’re looking for her, you won’t find her here, she went with a friend” And the way he pronounced ‘friend’ made things sound even more suspicious. Woohyun had known Junhyung for a long time, he’d been a neighbor of his as well, though they didn’t interact much since Woohyun lived in a huge mansion where interaction wasn’t exactly possible. But Woohyun knew him enough to know that the Junhyung he knew hadn’t any connection with possible kidnappers and anyone with any kind of criminal records.

But it’s been long, and people change…

“Don’t look at me like that, she’s in good hands I can promise you that” Junhyung went on with a grin. It immediately reminded him of Howon, if he was trying to mean someone a little more than a friend. But the guy was probably all the way in Gangnam and by his faking mother’s side of the bed by now. “Here, let me give you the address, it isn’t that far” Junhyung told him helpfully, and Woohyun handed him his phone.

A while later, Woohyun found himself driving through the snowy streets of Incheon into a more tranquil part of the town. There were nicely tended parks with streetlights illuminating the snow encrusted trees and rooftops. Schemes of identical houses lined the either sides of the road. Soon he came to a lane where he found dainty little homes with pastel colored walls and well-maintained gardens lining the either sides. He heart began to thud in an emotion he thought he couldn’t recognize but deep inside he knew so well. He could almost picture it, who could possibly land themselves a pretty little family home like these. But he didn’t want to believe because he could even be wrong.

Even serial killers could be residing at nice family homes with rose gardens and all that . He couldn’t possibly judge an ‘unknown friend’ based on the likes of their house.

And then he finally came to a halt in front of a home of which the number matched with the number in his phone. The curtains were drawn but he could see the brightly lit windows and shadows moving about. From the house next to it were voices, lots of them, of children. Woohyun almost held his breath as he stepped out and towards the small iron gate. It was icy cold to the touch, topped with a fine layer of snow. The gate opened with a creak and he took in the sight of a swing set, bushes of baby roses and dimmed garden lights. It appeared expensive but everything about this home screamed familiarity, as if he had been there before. Though he obviously hadn’t.

He stepped up to the front door, and his heart was hammering hard for a reason he didn’t recognize. He had no reason why he should be nervous to knock on a total stranger’s door. But apparently, he did. He rang the bell once, waited for a moment, watching the windows for a sign of movement, and then pressed for a second and third time all at once. Footsteps. He could hear the soft padding of feet on the other side of the door, and then a voice. “I’ll get it!”

I’ll get it. Woohyun’s breath hitched in his throat. There was only one person he knew who could say something as simple as I’ll get it in such a way that it sound like he was speaking up for world peace. Only one person. And when the door swung open and he looked up, widening his eyes, that one person he had thought it would be was standing right in front of him, looking as equally surprised as him.

From inside the house came another familiar voice. “Is that Sung Jae?” and Eunji emerged from the threshold, only to widen her eyes in disbelief.

Woohyun looked at Sung Gyu to Eunji and back at Sung Gyu, a combination of indescribable amount of emotions stirring up inside him until it became overwhelming to the point that he felt like he was about to explode. Sung Gyu, here was Sung gyu; fine and dandy with nice hair and a pretty little home with couple swing and baby roses, after having left him behind and wiped him out of his life. For a moment, Woohyun had this great big urge to hug him and tell him that he missed him, but then he remembered his blocked mobile number, never letting him know that he transferred and that he also got himself a house, and soon it morphed into fiery hatred, bubbling inside him. Sung Gyu was speechless; staring down at him as if he was seeing him for the first time. Eunji on the other hand, red faced and wordless began to descend down the steps.

“Woohyun what are you doing here?”

He didn’t once rip his gaze from the other. Woohyun was seeing white with anger and all he wanted right now was to launch a good, heavy punch on that flawless face.

“Woohyun!”

Only then, he turned to face her, and he caught her by her arm. “Well you tell me, Jung Eunji! What are you doing here?”

Eunji opened to respond, and Woohyun realized that the cheerful chatter of the children next doors could no longer be heard. He glanced back up at Sung Gyu who seemed surprised, apologetic, crestfallen in a way Woohyun hadn’t imagined him to be if they ever happened to come across each other. There were so many things he wanted to tell him if that ever happened; so many things that he had kept bottled up inside him so that the pain, the rage, the betrayal he felt wouldn’t consume him completely. Losing his best friend had hurt him a lot more than any break up had ever hurt him before. And right now, as the very person had yet again walked back into his life in completely unexpected, unlikely circumstances, everything he had wanted to say were simply forgotten. Woohyun was at a loss. The only thing he could come up with in that moment of passion and reconciliation was something he had never planned on telling him.

“Let’s go” he said to Eunji and put his hand in hers, dragging her to his side. She hadn’t even put her coat on, and it was freezing outside. His own face felt like it was continuously being pricked with thousands of icy spheres, but he hardly cared.

“W-Woohyun” Eunji tried to argue but he pulled her to his side even further, and when he glanced up at Sung Gyu, he saw how his eyes were filled with pain.

And that, somehow, gave him the urge to hurt him even further, for all the time he had hidden from him, he had hurt him.

“Let’s go, Eunji” Woohyun said, his teeth gritted as he spoke, and to make a point of their leaving, he kept his eyes only on Sung gyu’s as he said; “Don’t waste your time on a cowardly bastard like him”

There was silence; deafening, painful, and Eunji tugged hard at his hand. “Woohyun!”

Woohyun’s grip was steel hard on her, and somehow, she merely compiled, sensing that would she stay, things would only become more complex, and he simply dragged her back, all the way to his car. He opened the door for her, and she climbed in without a word, and when Woohyun went to the driver’s seat, Sung Gyu was hurrying down the cobble path with Eunji’s jacket and her bag on tow, his face full of concern and freezing out in the cold.

Woohyun could swear his heart cracked open at that moment. He knew for a fact that when Sung Gyu loved, he gave all in. And the Sung Gyu he knew was still the Sung Gyu who had come through the snow for her, and that made him realize that no matter how much a person changed, some things about them always remained the same.

But no, he wasn’t going to change things now from how they took place. He did what he thought he should do. Sung Gyu had hurt him, and he must feel the same pain in return. Even as he took Eunji’s belongings from him, Woohyun made sure to maintain his icy cold glare and not to say a word in response. When Sung Gyu’s cold hand brushed past his, he refrained his urge to feel it again and make sure he was truly there, that he wasn’t simply seeing things. He threw everything into the back seat unceremoniously and closed the door after him, trying not to glance at Sung Gyu making his way back towards the house through the mist of the night, a lone dark silhouette in the dim lights of the garden. As Woohyun pulled out, he only caught a glimpse of him, leaning against the door frame with his arms wrapped around himself, trembling but still watching them, and how he appeared smaller than ever before made his heart pain. It was still the Sung Gyu he always knew; who always appeared to be strong since he was the older of the two, but simply the weakest of them both.

They didn’t say a word as the grove disappeared behind them, as they drove out of that part of the city and into the cold winter night. After a few minutes of quiet driving, Eunji asked him; “Where’s Howon?”

In the din of the moment Woohyun had forgotten what he was even doing there. He seemed to be forgetting a lot of things lately. “Howon’s mother’s taken ill and she’d been taken to the hospital”

There was a moment of silence and she let out a sigh. “She’d called the ambulance herself again?”

She sounded like it was something which happened on a daily basis. Woohyun shrugged, deciding to not to question the insinuation any further. “I don’t know. Howon just asked me to fetch you”

Eunji didn’t say anything afterwards as they drove in complete silence. They went on for a while, passing lamp post after lamp post, a house or a lonely store with night walkers reveling with a can of beer in the cold. After a while, Eunji’s phone rang, its vibration a shrill cry in the quietness and for a moment Woohyun thought it was him. She picked up, and as she did, her face was passive and rock firm. “Howon-Ssi”

For everything he said, Eunji merely nodded, barely answered with a word and when she did, it was nothing more than a yes or that she understood. Once she was done, she tossed the phone back into her bag and groaned, rubbing her temples. She had issues with Howon’s mother. Of what kind and to which extent, he wasn’t certain himself but based on everything that she had confided in him so far in their random drunken conversations, he had a fair idea to say that they weren’t that great. He wanted to help her, but she always refused to speak a word about it unless she was drunk, and he dragged the words right out of her. Eunji was prideful like that. She wouldn’t let anyone interfere if it was something she could help herself with. But Woohyun doubted that she was managing this one very well.

“A false alarm, again” Eunji suddenly voiced out as if to fill the deafening silence inside the car. “It’s just gastritis”

Woohyun nodded, trying to appear as understanding as he could, although he was confused that she didn’t seem to be mad at him for what he did back there. He didn’t ask still. Not a word until the incident would come up.

“What did Howon say?” He asked to be helpful, at which point she sighed a great big one, leaning further against the seat. “He has to stay the night at the hospital, ask you to drop me home, lock the doors, he’d call”

“Oh” He nodded, unable to form a proper response, and then silence ensued. It continued for a long while and they finally drove out of the somewhat suburban area to the town where it was livelier even in the night. The noise coming from the streets filled the void of quietness inside and Woohyun glanced at Eunji who silently stared out at the road passing by. He had so many questions to ask her, so many things to talk about. When he saw her back in his house, she seemed so happy. She was glowing. And her voice sounded joyful than it had for the past few months as if she was a wholly different person. Woohyun knew Eunji as a person who wore a smile on her face even through the hardest times, but the past few months when he’d seen her, she wasn’t even bothering to hide her emotions. She was dull, she was hopeful, she was unhappy. Woohyun thought back to Sung Gyu, seeing how much he had changed but the man he knew so easily coming to the surface without he even trying. The emotion he had been unable to pinpoint at that moment when he had stepped along the cobble path towards the front door, he realized now, was hope. He hoped it was him, he hoped that his assumptions were true so that they could find each other, reconcile and be happy as they had always been.

Even now as he drove along the darkened Incheon roads. That’s all that he could think about. Woohyun wanted his best friend back.

And so, without warning, he pulled into a side of the road, killed the ignition and turned off the headlights. The mist dispersed before them, and he felt Eunji’s eyes on him.

“Is everything okay?” She asked him, and then, for his surprise, he found himself shaking his head. A long moment of quietness passed, and he thought of lots of things in that short span of time. Then he asked her the one thing he had longed to ask him, himself.

“S-Sung Gyu hyung…is he alright?”

There was silence which stretched on for a long, uncomfortable moment. Woohyun could hear the sound of his own breath. He didn’t look at her. Just the darkened road overhead. A moment later, then, her voice came in a small whisper. “He’s…. he’s great, Woohyun, he’s happy”

Woohyun felt his throat tighten. Is that why he left then? Because he was unhappy? Of course, that was the reason; Woohyun could still recall how broken and hopeless the whirlwinds of his life had made him back then. But what did that say about him wiping them out of his life?

“Eunji…” He spoke in a low, firm voice. He was about to tell her that, that Sung Gyu probably didn’t want them interfering again. Eunmi had made Sung Gyu feel like he was doing something wrong by choosing the life of a single parent, accepting the mistakes he had done, and Woohyun had contributed in the scheme of pulling him and Eunji apart from whatever they were back then. They had led him to believe that the only way to get his life straightened out was by spending it with the mother who returned. Nobody cared about what he thought, what he felt. Sung Gyu had loved Eunji, Woohyun remembered how he could see it written all over his face without even him having to explain anything. Even through that, Woohyun himself had ruined everything for him; through his silence, he did. Didn’t it make perfect sense as to why he didn’t want them anymore?

But he might have been wrong, or right…Woohyun couldn’t tell, because on his left, Eunji was there, her hands on her face, small sobs were breaking out, filling the quietness inside. She was crying. Eunji wasn’t a crier. She was too prideful for that. And at that moment when he saw her breaking apart, he didn’t know what to do with himself.

“Eun-Eunji…are you…crying?”

She shook her head vigorously as if it wasn’t what he caught her doing and quickly wiped her face with her palms. “No, just…” She inhaled loudly and tried to appear like she wasn’t in tears just a moment ago. A prolonged silence ensued with him just watching her and her looking out at the darkened road. After a while, she looked down at the pleats of her skirt, running her fingers distractedly along the creases. “He’s happy, Woohyun…he’s put on weight and had remembered to fix his hair every week…he’s practically glowing” She lifted her head and looked up at him. “Can you believe that we were mad at him all this time while he only wanted to get his life sorted out?”

Woohyun swallowed, looking straight ahead. He’s vaguely aware of how tight his hand was on the steering wheel.

“We talked…for a long, long time. And he told me everything. He just…hadn’t known what to do with himself except for moving away from everything and starting from the scratch, just him and Sung Jae. He said…he said he hadn’t thought of how we would be hurt knowing that he left without a trace. He’d just thought we were better off without him, because he thought he would end up hurting us…” Another loud sob, and- “It’s us who had made him even feel that way. We’re in the wrong too…given that he was going through so much with the single parenthood and…and Yoora’s return, the accident, all of it. We weren’t understanding enough. We drove him away. How is it fair that we are mad at him for what he did? Its…its only right, I would do the same”

Woohyun inhaled heavily and closed his eyes. “Did he tell you all that?”

“Of course, not” Eunji shook her head, appearing offended. They really did make a great pair, her and Sung Gyu. Both seemed to have similar ways around things. “He didn’t say anything. I figured it out myself, which we should have done ages ago. While we were there blaming him for everything, he was struggling to get his life back on tracks…” She turned to him once more. “You can tell by looking at his house and everything else that none of it had come to him easily. Woohyun, if he’s happy, if what he did fixed all the burning bridges between us, what do we have to be upset about?”

Woohyun pursed his lips, and his grip on the wheel became tighter. “Did it really fix the bridges?” He asked her.

“It’s a two-way thing” Eunji replied without a beat. “As for me, I just wanted him back, Woohyun. I missed him so much and with how everything in my life is going downhill right now, he’s all I needed to have…something to look forward to. And now I think the bridges are as good as new. You just need to sit down and talk things out like responsible adults”

Woohyun went quiet, and in that silence, he contemplated so many things. The fact that it was only his unrelenting pride which kept him from talking things out and that in fact he really wished he could go back to being friends again, put everything into perspectives. Sung Gyu understood, he always did. He would forgive, he’d explain, they would work things out and they still had the chance to go back to being who they were. But still Woohyun would constantly think back to that moment when he found out that his number was blocked. That had to be the single most painful moment in his whole life. He had plenty of those in his life. He had his parents passing away on him all those years ago, having to live in a house where he didn’t want to be. But he had somehow gotten over them, he had learned to live. But Sung Gyu wiping him right out of his life, just like that and with no explanation, Woohyun wasn’t quite sure if he would ever be able to get over that pain and that feeling of utter betrayal. Sung Gyu’s been this huge significant part of his life; someone who he looked up to, someone he deeply admired and cherished. Woohyun had imagined, for Sung Gyu, he was the same, but the incident had him convinced otherwise, a feeling he doubted would ever be replaced.

“I know that you miss him” Eunji said, all of a sudden, her voice so small but still echoing inside the quiet interior. “I know that you want him back just as much as I did”

Woohyun’s hands, previously rigid on the grasp around the steering wheel, unaware to him, had relaxed. He felt overwhelmed for a moment, and he didn’t think he could actually decide on anything without giving his mind the relief that it rightfully needed. He wanted to unwind. It’s been a long day and whether he still wanted him or continue the life he’d had for the past months were too much information to process all at once. And right at that moment, he thought that having him back or not didn’t make any difference.

Woohyun felt her placing a hand on his arm, and she said in a voice one would use to talk to a secondary school child; “Think about it, okay?” And somehow, the conversation ended there.

He started the car again, pulled back into the almost empty road and drove through the night. The snow wasn’t as heavy since it was the first for the year, it was cold nevertheless and the road was covered with a thick membrane of mist. A moment passed, and Eunji’s voice broke through the silence.

“What do you think I should do, Woohyun?”

“Hm?” Woohyun rested one hand on the door as he drove in a leisurely pace, and massaged his temple, trying to subside the throbbing in his head.

“What should I do?” She repeated, and it took him a moment to understand what she was referring to. Before he could make out a proper response, she beat it to him.

“I…I thought I loved him. Howon, I mean. I thought we would be happy. He treats me well, we hardly ever had a fight, and I feel he cares about me too…deeply as well. But what I realized, having been with him, that for a relationship to work out, the outside factors should correlate as well…you get what I mean right?”

“Howon’s mother…” Woohyun said carefully. He was surprised that they were even having this conversation. Eunji never opened up to him, or anyone for that matter. She was always guarded and held everything inside. Unless there was hard and constant prodding there had never been an occasion where she had spoken out herself. This definitely had to be a first. And though he hated to admit, her reconciliation with Sung Gyu, the Sung Gyu who had changed his life for the best, seemed to have somehow affected her way of thinking.

“Yeah…her” Eunji let out a sigh and massaged her temples again as if her head was too heavy for her to carry around. “She…. well, she’s an absolute nightmare, Woohyun. If anything, she’s on her way to ruining our relationship entirely. I left home in the morning today with her stupid, baseless accusations and I am sure she pulled this whole hospital stunt to turn Howon’s attention back to herself. She’s-she’s mad! She thinks that I am there to steal her spotlight or something”

“That bad, huh?” Woohyun replied for the lack of better things to say.

“She’s driving me insane” Eunji replied in monotone. “Her obsession with Howon is ridiculous, she just wants him to herself”

“Did you, like, talk to him about it?”

“Every damn time” She groaned and ran a hand through her hair in frustration. “He says she’s had a hard time and all that, and…anyway, I’m so tired I don’t want to talk about it” Silence, and then she added in an afterthought. “I don’t want to go home”

Woohyun slowed the pace of the car so that he could properly look at her. “She won’t be at home, right?”

“No” Eunji shook her head. “And neither will be Howon. He’s staying the night with her at the hospital” She said it like he was doing something completely ridiculous. Which, in a way, was ridiculous, given that the old woman was taking up a hospital bed all because she needed her son’s attention to herself.

“You’d be alone at home then?”

“More or less” She shrugged.

And Woohyun found himself contemplating the options he had. The thing is, even if Eunji had moved out and pretty much spent a life of her own with another man, Woohyun still couldn’t kick off the brotherly affection he had always had for her. She was, no matter how things changed, still more of his little sister, and his fraternal concern quite easily kicked in.

“Well…how about you stay over at our place?” Woohyun asked her. Prior to the wedding planning, he and Bomi had moved into their own place. It was a nice and warm condominium and had more than enough room for three people to reside in. It’s unlikely that she’d take up the offer, but she seemed genuinely tired, not only by the day’s events but also fed up of life in general. What he thought she really needed was to wind up a bit.

“I…I mean” She hesitated and glanced at him. “Would it be fine?”

“Absolutely” Woohyun grinned. “We can have a drink, wear off all the exhaustion, it’s been a long day. You’d be fine after a good nap”

She contemplated it for a moment, and finally gave him a smile. “Alright…I guess”

Later that night, after both Eunji and Bomi had gone to bed (In their bedroom) Woohyun lied in the darkness of the living room, his phone in his hands and deep in his thoughts. He was thinking, and his thoughts were mostly revolved around one person, the one person that he didn’t want to think about.

He was constantly being dragged back to their old days; when they hadn’t any complications in life, when they seemed to flow as peacefully as streams in the spring. They had minimal obligations and the only worries they had were related to college and exams and tuition fees, occasional love quarrels and bad break ups or nights spent drunk, sleeping on each other, eventually missing classes the next day. Back then they never found a reason to fall out. They had fights, but they always resolved by themselves the next day, or wouldn’t matter anymore. The reason why fall-outs now, as adults, lasted longer was that, for some strange reason, his pride seemed to get on his way. No matter how much he wanted to make things work with Sung Gyu, he would think back to what he did, and then he’d discard the whole idea of making friends again.

But late in the night, when his mind was cleared, and his thoughts were mostly quiet whispers, he thought about something that Eunji had told them before she had drunkenly passed out in the living room that night. ‘You only live once, life is so short. And I want to spend it doing things I want to do and loving the people I love’

Sung Gyu could have done something wrong. But it wasn’t like everything Woohyun did was right and fair for everyone either. Everyone had their moments, and everyone made mistakes. It’s only human to forgive and make things right again. It was with this thought in mind that he had picked up his phone and found the draft text message Junhyung typed down for him at the orphanage. The address to Sung Gyu’s new home. He stared at it for a long moment until his eyes became blurry and arms became cold. Then he copied the text and saved it as a note on his phone. That, he supposed was one step further into rescuing their derailed relationship. The rest, he decided; the rest, he’d figure out after a good nap.

After all, there was nothing that a good nap couldn’t solve.

And he must have been right, because the next day, Woohyun woke up early with determination in hands. He was going to right some wrongs, make peace and mend their burning bridge until it was good as new.

*

“You don’t have to go out shopping mum, it’s just lunch and it’s just us” Sung Gyu sighed for the umpteenth time, finding himself frustrated to an extent that he shouldn’t be so early for a Sunday morning. He was on the phone with his mother, and since he had had a rather eventful and somewhat emotional rollercoaster of a weekend, he woke up a little too early than intended and decided that he needed to see his mum. His mother, as always was making a fuss about preparing a whole feast of a lunch for him and had complained multiple times that he should have told her earlier because she hadn’t filled up on grocery supplies enough to prepare his favorite meals. Sung Gyu at that moment was in a fruitless attempt of explaining to her as to the reason why she needn’t go out shopping in a bad weather as this. Looking out the window he could see his small lawn entirely covered with snow, the few blossoms of baby roses seemed like glass ornaments glimmering in the morning sun. He closed the curtain and wedged his phone between his shoulder and ear before he returned to tending to the toast.

“We can get take out or something, or just…I don’t know mum, just about anything is fine”

“Sung Gyu, you’re come home like, once in a blue moon. I’m not going to get you measly store-bought food” His mother retorted, unimpressed, as he manhandled a scorching hot slice of toasted bed with his bare hands and skillfully dumped it on a plate. Having spent his single father lifestyle for far too long, he supposed he was getting better at the kind of careless stuff mothers are often found doing.

“I’m not coming for the food, mum” Sung Gyu dusted his hands on his sweater sloppily and stray crumbs of bread were stuck to the wool, which he didn’t heed any attention to as he slipped two more slices into the toaster. Then he leaned against the counter and pressed two fingers onto his nose bridge, patiently listening as to the reason why lunch was of course a big concern especially given that her only son and grandchild are never around to taste her meals. “I just missed you and dad” He said in the end, once she was done with her account. Then he mulled things over for a bit, and a flash of memory from the previous night crossed his mind. “Also” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Some…stuff happened. I just thought, well, I could do with someone to talk things out with”

There was silence, the kind of silence his mother gave every time Sung Gyu admitted to having things not going so well in his life, the kind of silence after which his mother usually starts her concerned stretch of questions and Sung Gyu flinched when it did.

“What’s going on, Sung Gyu? Is everything alright there? How is Sung Jae?” Her voice sounded almost tearful. Sung Gyu wouldn’t blame her, though. She had a right to sound concerned, especially given that he hadn’t visited her for two weeks unlike how he had promised her at that time he moved in. And he had forgotten to ring her for the past three days even after she had left him a couple of distressed missed calls.

“I’m fine, he’s fine, we’re okay” Sung Gyu responded ruefully, stared at his feet for a moment, listening to the silence on the other end. “That’s what you always say, Sung Gyu” His mother said in the end. “And you’ve told me that at the worse of your moments to the point that every time I hear you tell me that you’re fine, I’m convinced that everything’s a disaster over there”

“You’re exaggerating, mum” Sung Gyu replied, placed his phone between his ear and shoulder once more and made his way towards the fridge where he picked out two eggs. He was on his way into mastering the wonders of culinary. One always had to start with the easiest steps. Like a good scrambled egg.

“I’m not! Sung Gyu, you’re always worrying me”

“And that’s why I’m coming over today” He said, cracked an egg into a bowl and managed not getting a single bit of egg shells into the bowl. “We’ll be fine with regards to food as long as there’s something to eat and mum is there to listen to things I have to say” He cracked the other egg into the bowl and smiled when he succeeded in getting no egg shells in both his attempts.

“I don’t think we have anything except for Kimchi and some eggs at home” Replied his mother sounding as if she was referring to world hunger. The toast suddenly tossed out of the toaster and Sung Gyu near had a heart attack by the shock of it and shook his head, amused at himself that he was frightened by the bloody toaster. “I’ll bring something on the way then” He told her. For the next few minutes Sung Gyu tried to put together the scrambled eggs as nicely as he could. There went the milk, the salt and the pepper; whisking it up, all the while he argued with his mother over what they were going to do with lunch. He was surprised by the countless number of times he and his mother had engaged in completely pointless arguments. They could easily settle for something for food, it wasn’t that much of a big deal. But recently he figured out that his mother was only trying to drag the phone calls long whenever he rang her because he hardly ever did and her only comfort in life was hearing his voice over the phone, even if it was a pile of complete rubbish they were talking about.

He managed pouring the eggs into a pan and asked his mother what he had to do afterwards. She, of course, instead of explaining the procedure went into a prolonged account on why he should have come over the previous day and stayed over so she’d have made them proper breakfast and why on earth were they feeding on egg and toast? She’d been convinced that the baby sitter came over even on the weekends, apparently. But she didn’t, not unless he was working, and he had requested her to. But on fine and cold Sunday mornings when anyone would like to spend the day in the comfort of their own homes, Sung Gyu didn’t deem it was fair to ask her over to make them breakfast, which he was perfectly capable of taking care of.

Anyway, the scrambled eggs ended up being so much as a scrambled disaster. It’s soggy, the whole kitchen was stinking of burnt eggs and he’s appalled by what appeared as a white bubbly substance in the food concoction, which, as his mother explained with a heavy sigh, had been resulted by putting in too much milk. He groaned, too revolted to even think of consuming it and he was in the middle of relocating it to the dustbin when the bell on the front door started to ring. He looked at the time in his phone (Using the one hand which didn’t stink of egg) it was still past eight in the morning. He wasn’t supposed to have visitors today. But then, almost naturally, a vision from the previous day surged into his mind and his heart started bouncing off the sides of his ribcage. The ringing continued, and he hurriedly placed the stinking pan haphazardly on the kitchen cabinet and proceeded to wash his hands.

“Well, either way, mum, I’ll be there at around twelve, and we’ll figure something out for lunch” He said into his phone, reaching for a kitchen towel and quickly dusted the crumbs off his sweater.

“If you come around with take out, Sung Gyu, I swear to god I won’t open the door for you” His mother deadpanned on the other end.

“We’ll figure something out, alright?” He repeated as he hurried his way into the hallway. The morning sun was seeping in through the glass blocks bordering the front door, almost appearing like crystallites and he could faintly make out the outline of what he could only deem as a person, a slightly short person. His breath got caught up in his throat almost instantly and he couldn’t even hear what his mother was saying on the other end.

“Yeah, yeah okay” He muttered as he distractedly went for the door and opened it without second thought. His eyes fell upon the single person standing in his doorway, and his voice went an octave lower for a reason he couldn’t quite figure out.

“Mum, I would have to call you back, okay? Love you” He said to her quickly and didn’t even wait for her as he cut off the line and slid the phone into his pocket.

Right in his doorway stood Nam Woohyun, the very same person who had come to the very same doorstep and called him a cowardly bastard and left without a word. In the clear morning sunlight with the snowy surrounding, however, he looked rather peaceful; unlike the person he’d met the night before. Sung Gyu was intimidated, still. He suddenly found himself both relieved to have him there as well as incredibly terrified. A strange combination of emotions.

“Woohyun” He addressed softly and as pleasantly as he could. Sung Gyu hadn’t no conflicting emotions towards him. After all, Woohyun was his best friend and the one man, aside from his family, that he trusted the most. In fact, Woohyun was more or less family for him and he might have secretly wished, for the past few months, that they would meet each other by some miracle and be able to solve whatever the skirmishes they had. As he stood in the doorstep to his home, after all those months apart without a single exchange of a word, Sung Gyu was suddenly at a loss of what to do with himself.

“Hyung” Woohyun responded trying to match the same tone as his, but he sure did fail as he still sounded like somebody else.

“I…uh, didn’t expect to see you” Sung Gyu said, and almost slapped himself upon noticing the sudden change of Woohyun’s expression, and so he quickly amended by opening the door wider, granting him entrance. “Come on in, it’s cold out there”

Woohyun wordlessly stepped inside and took in the sight of his new surrounding in mild fascination. Sung Gyu realized that he never got to see much of his new home upon his sudden arrival last night with all the chaos which followed, so he quietly waited as he removed his shoes, took his jacket and scarf himself and left them off at the railing. And then for the lack of conversation starters and all for the purpose of filling in the uncomfortable silence between them, Sung Gyu began to talk.

“I was just making breakfast. Have you had breakfast Woohyun? Well, we don’t have much except for some toast and spreads. I was trying to make scrambled eggs, but-,” A scratch on the back of his head and an embarrassed chuckle. “-I guess I never really mastered the art of culinary”

Woohyun appeared to have not paid attention to anything he’d been saying as his eyes took in everything inside the expanse of the kitchen, out the windows and all which caught his widened, fascinated eyes. Sung Gyu felt awkward and lost in his own house and decided to busy himself with preparing everything else for breakfast. He pulled out the cartons of juice and milk from the fridge and proceeded to work the coffee machine. But then suddenly, Woohyun’s deep, comfortingly familiar voice cut through the silence. “Hyung’s never been a good cook. I’m surprised you even managed to make toast yourself”

He glanced at the ruined eggs and burnt loafs of toast in the bin and grinned sheepishly. “Cooking’s never been my greatest suit”

“I’ve always known” Woohyun said, and when he smiled at him, Sung Gyu suddenly felt like his entire world was falling into place. Woohyun was Woohyun, no matter how long and how far they drifted apart. They could have been parallel lines for the past month, two ships sailing the same ocean into opposite directions, never planning to cross path again. But life was indeed a strange thing. They knew whom they truly needed and couldn’t possibly live without and so, gradually, the lines were becoming not so parallel again, and the ships were slowly changing their directions so that they could meet again. “Why don’t I make breakfast for you? My pleasure”

Sung Gyu looked up at his best friend; small, messy hair with snow still peppered in it and in the ugliest blue checkered sweater he had ever seen. It looked like he picked it from a thrift shop. But still, Woohyun’s presence in the too large kitchen suddenly seemed to have brought in extra rays of sunshine into the house and Sung Gyu wondered if he could ever be happier. “I would love that, Woohyun” He told him, his voice oddly calm and resonant in the quiet home. “I would love that a lot”

Woohyun did end up making breakfast for them while Sung Gyu ran the most menial errands like washing the vegetables, rinsing the rice and serving side dishes, carrying all those huge boxes of a variety of Kimchi that his mother made which he had stored in his fridge. (Woohyun, as always, managed a snarky comment on that. And Sung Gyu who’s usually annoyed was more than happy to give an equally snarky comeback in return) They didn’t talk about their fall out the whole while. Instead, their conversations continued as if they’ve picked up from exactly where they’ve stopped it. Woohyun asked him about the house and commented on the nicely kept garden (not anything nice; only that it wasn’t possible that it was him who paid even slightest attention to the grass. In which case, he was right but Sung Gyu would never admit the truth) then Sung Gyu told him about how they installed a swing set and about his new neighborhood. They exchanged a few words about work where Sung Gyu told him the perks of his new job and Woohyun complained how his own workplace had become more or less some kind of a post war zone. The both of them went quiet and their conversations minimalized, however, as they reached the point where they discussed families and love lives. Woohyun was leaning against the counter, nursing a warm mug of coffee while Sung Gyu quietly set the table. He tried to focus mostly on the cutlery and how his hands moved almost in autopilot. It was Woohyun who spoke first. “Hyung…I finally decided to go forth with the wedding. I…uh, I’ve put that behind for too long”

Sung Gyu’s hands paused on placing the cutlery, staring down at the silverware, simply unable to look at him, given the fact that he most probably won’t be a part of what could be the biggest and the most significant occasion of his best friend’s life.

“That’s…that’s great, Woohyun” Sung Gyu finally told him, stretched his lips into what he imagined was a smile and gave him a quick nod, as if it actually meant anything. “Congratulations! I’m happy for you. I truly am”

Woohyun stared at him for a long moment, his gaze long and scrutinizing. He felt as if he was being stripped of his emotions and they were put out there, raw and warm, out in display. Woohyun was his best friend for all the good reasons, and one was his uncanny ability to see right past whatever the mask he wore. Sung Gyu was certain, if the look in his eyes wasn’t obvious enough, that he knew.

“I want you there” Woohyun said all of a sudden, releasing his lip which he’d been chewing on for the entire moment of quietness that passed. He set down his mug atop the counter. “I mean, I’m getting married and, well…we’ve been close since college, and…and did so many things together. I wouldn’t, I mean…” He hesitated, and his fingers were prodding on the granite surface, eyes averted, visibly embarrassed to be the one engaged in all those emotional confessions which he had never done in his life. Sung Gyu waited, leaning against the table, the cutlery long forgotten. Woohyun finally glanced up at him and let out a sigh. “Hyung, you’ve always been on the top of the list…not just for the wedding invitees…like, in everything in my life”

It would have been rather embarrassing if he started crying and went into a long tearful account on how Woohyun too will always be on top of his own list of priorities. Sung Gyu didn’t think, however, that it was even all that necessary. Some emotions could be communicated without being worded out. And he was sure, in the way that he smiled and simply gazed at him, not a single word being spoken, Woohyun could understand exactly how he felt about him and the entire ordeal. It felt good to start again, be given a second chance and simply reconcile with the people who mattered to him the most.

“Well, that having been said” Woohyun filled the awkward silence and cleared his throat, then he wordlessly made it across the kitchen, through the hallway and retrieved what appeared to be a sizeable glossy card out of his jacket. He slid it on the table towards him; Woohyun’s wedding invitation.

“You’ll be there, right, Hyung?” He asked him, and after all they’ve done and after all they’ve been through, Woohyun sounded as if the response to his questions would be uncertain and inclined to the negative end for the most part.

But then Sung Gyu picked up the card, opened the envelop and carefully pulled it out, his eyes scanning the content, and he smiled. The wedding was dated to be held in a week and a day from then.

“I guess I have to get my best suit ready” Sung gyu replied with a smile.

The two of them continued to prepare for breakfast, now with more comfortable and mundane conversations. They’ve easily returned to their old selves, or as Sung Gyu felt it, strongly so, their relationship had only gotten better. They threw jokes and boundless insults at one another, talked about the strange cases they dealt with at work and then how badly the kitchen smelt after Sung Gyu’s scrambled egg disaster. By the time they were finally done with cooking after hours long spent mostly on bickering and lame jokes, it was nearly nine thirty in the morning. Sung Jae emerged from the doorway as Sung Gyu was serving the rice into balls, and as soon as he noticed Woohyun standing in the middle of the kitchen in his apron over a ridiculous sweater glory, he paused as if Woohyun was a gruesome reminder, and then set right up the way he came. Woohyun only stared after the child, paralyzed, Sung Gyu laughed, shaking his head in response.

“That’s because he came down without cleaning up” Sung Gyu explained to him since the surprised expression seemed to take too long to wear off.

Later the three of them sat around for breakfast and deep into the meal the topic they’ve been avoiding, the one around whom the entire ordeal weaved around came up. It was at some point when Sung Gyu mentioned the orphanage and one point led to the other until Woohyun admitted that, after he’d disappeared, Woohyun had to tell Eunji everything to ease her pain. Sung Gyu apologized, perhaps, for the umpteenth time of the day. But they moved on from there, Woohyun told him about what she was pulling through what with the obsessive mother in law to be. As always, Woohyun held on to his believes. In the same manner he had told him a couple of months ago when he had learned about Sung Gyu’s true feeling, he told him in a tone so firm and determined. “Hyung, Court her”

Sung Gyu’s primary reaction was bursting into laughter. He already knew that Woohyun had a strange habit of putting things into words in the most unlikely ways, and he kind of missed it, though courting her hadn’t exactly struck to him as something he could possibly do.

“I’m serious, Hyung. Ask her out, marry her. I can’t just sit and watch her going through all the that mad woman is doing”

Sung Gyu’s laughter halted the very instant and he could vaguely feel Sung Jae’s eyes on him, watching him with great interest. The boy, of course, understood what they were talking about. Though he appeared completely uninterested, Sung Gyu knew that he was listening. Woohyun, on the other hand was watching him expectantly as if he would up and agree to take her hand the very instant.

And if he was honest, he wished it was truly possible. He loved her, he loved her in a way that he couldn’t possibly put into words. Eunji’s been the hours of quiet conversations in his mind, the thoughts which kept him up at night and the first person he thought about the moment he woke up to the early sun rays in the morning. He’d wondered, thousands of times, where they could possibly go on from here. Yesterday it’s been so much as a dream, so surreal that he still couldn’t believe that the recollections from then were even real. Hadn’t Woohyun arrived in the morning, he’d have chalked t down to a vivid drunken dream. And while he believed that there was a chance of things rightfully falling into place in a manner that everyone would be content, there still stood the qualms in their way, hindrances they couldn’t easily evade. On one hand, Eunji’s sister couldn’t have changed her mind over a couple of months and it was unlikely that she ever would. And adding to what stood between them so far, there was Howon, who, despite the eccentricities, was still a dear person to him, and then there were his parents who now have come to accept and believe that their son was better off alone to avoid anymore mad mishaps and heartbreaks.

They were all too much to process so early in a Sunday morning.

“Woohyun” He called his best friend after a quiet moment of contemplation. Sung Jae had wordlessly poured himself another small portion of the stew and nibbled on as if he was trying to blend into the surrounding. “If I had the chance to, as you put it, court her, ever so easily, I would take that chance any day. I am willing to, and I am ever prepared to. But I’m not sure that’s till how the rest of the world work”

Woohyun raised is brows and set down the spoonful of rice he had picked up. “Sometimes you’d have to go against how the world works, hyung”

Sung Gyu let out a heavy sigh and shook his head. “Nothing works out if you go against the world when it comes to a relationship, Woohyun. The outside factors need to correlate if they’re ever going to work out fine”

At this, somehow, Woohyun looked up and gazed at him for long moment as if he was seeing him for the first time. There was a strange glint in his eyes.

“What?” Sung gyu asked him, tilting his head questioningly, and was even more surprised when a wide grin spread slowly across his lips.

“Well, you know what, Hyung?” He said, picking up his spoon once more. “Even if the entire world worked against you, I’m going to make it happen. I’m going to turn things around”

“And why would you do that?” It was Sung Gyu’s turn to raise his brows.

“To simply put,” Woohyun said, and met his eyes with an urgent gaze. “Hyung, you and Eunji are a match made in heaven”

*

It was too early in the day to be surrounded by the ugly stench of surgical spirit, and uncertainty of a hospital; But Jung Eunji hadn’t a choice. It was almost as if this life had chosen her, although she had chosen this life herself.

She had woken up in that morning with a splitting headache, dry as if it’s been filled with cotton wool. Her phone was vibrating noisily on top of the drawers and from the direction of the bathroom she could faintly make out the sound of someone heaving their guts out. She looked to her right and found Bomi’s side of the bed empty. She’d never been the one to handle alcohol that well. But given that she hadn’t consumed much the previous day, the case could be different. Eunji had reached for her phone, too sleepy and tired to even imagine herself climbing out of the bed, but soon her hopes of staying under covers was cut short as she saw Howon’s number blinking on the phone’s display and she was hit hard by the whack of sheer reality. She had to leave.

As it had been in all the previous similar occasions, Howon wanted to meet her at the hospital. He had stayed the night there, having arrived straight from the hospital. And Eunji had to go down to their apartment; dark and dull without their presence, to collect a change of clothes for him. After having cleaned up, with a bag full of his clothes on tow along with a Styrofoam cup of warm coffee and a couple of pastries for him, she arrived at the hospital. Howon was sitting outside in a plastic chair, looking tired and weary, just as she had expected he would be. In the beginning, she felt it was ridiculous that they were going through all that trouble. It wasn’t the first time she had faked a heart attack and gotten herself into the hospital. There was something about senior citizens giving distressed calls about possible heart attacks to local hospitals which immediately drew them in. There wasn’t a way to clarify if it was true or not just through a phone call. Eunji blamed that every time they were pulled through this situation. It was the fourth time, so far. The first two times, they’d genuinely panicked. Eunji had even stayed the night with her at the hospital once, despite the way she treated her (and even in that position she didn’t fail to be mean towards her) but the third time, Eunji realized that it was a routine. She’d tell Eunji off, Eunji would get upset and leave Howon lost with worry, and the next thing she’d know was that his mother was hospitalized with symptoms of cardiac arrest. Eunji tried to not to show her annoyance as she delivered Howon his needs, and he was quiet as he sat on the seat beside her and devoured on his coffee for a log moment, after having announced that it was exactly what he needed. The silence between them was uncomfortable. And for obvious reasons, Eunji felt that the crevise between them, if it wasn’t obvious in the beginning had now become a gaping hole. She wasn’t seeing Howon in the same light she saw him the previous morning. True, her heart still went out to him for how weary and tired he seemed to be. But unlike yesterday, she suddenly wanted to knock some sense into his head and make him understand that what his mother’s doing right now is nothing but pretending. Four times, it’s been a bad case of gastritis. Four times, she had taken advantage of his greatest weakness. As how it appeared to her now; as much as his mother was afraid of losing him, he was afraid of losing her too. She wasn’t sure if she should find it heartwarming or borderline creepy.

On the other hand, there was someone filling her heart entirely in a manner that not even Howon, despite having been in a relationship with her, a serious one at that, for the past few months, possibly could. It’s been quite a while since she had come into the realization that what she was doing to Howon was wrong, in so many levels. In the beginning, she was willing to give her all to him, changed her mind, change her heart, try to love him as much as he possibly loved her in return. But what she had failed to grasp by then was that hearts didn’t change quite so easily, and that she was already too deeply in love. Howon, for her, was more or less a rebound from a love relationship she’d never had. Or maybe, in some strange, twisted way, whatever the special connection that she and Sung Gyu had shared was a love relationship, and they just quite hadn’t given a name to it. They never acknowledged their feelings, yet, unbeknownst to them, they’ve loved each other, they’ve been held together by a single but a strong variable, the child they both equally loved and cared for. When Sung Gyu had left her, what she felt was dangerously similar to what she was familiar to have felt after a bad break up. And then when they reconciled the previous day and finally acknowledged their feelings to each other, it vaguely felt as if they were finally getting together after a prolonged period of separation in a relationship. The place they stood as two people in their lives were both clear and unclear at the same time. The people whom they wanted to be in each other’s lives, however, was fairly certain.

And that realization had somehow put Howon out of the picture. All of a sudden, he was a really close friend that she’d had with whom she’d also maintained a strange ual relationship. There wasn’t nothing more. The strings which attached them were so thin, so fragile, close to nothing. What she truly felt about him had changed ages ago, and what she’d felt until now was nothing more than comfort and no-strings attraction. She didn’t think it could even be compared to how strongly she felt about Sung gyu. A rebound. That’s what Howon had been for him.

And of course, had she ever felt anything strongly for Howon, that’s all been diminished to nothing by the mere presence of his mother in their lives.

Howon, however, seemed to be convinced otherwise. It was frustrating when he spoke as if all she’d given to their relationship were boundless blessings.

“She must have freaked out, she’s scared of getting sick” Howon was telling her as he tried to explain the false alarm that’s only turned out to be gastritis for the, well, fourth consecutive occasion. “Dad died of a heart attack, her sister died of a heart attack. She’s just really worried”

Eunji nodded, trying to appear as understanding as possible. “How are her vitals? All good?”

Howon stalled for a briefest moment. “She’s…all good so far. Except for a little raise in blood pressure and cholesterol. They said she’s good to go”

“That’s a relief” Eunji let out a sigh, although she wasn’t certain if that carried the emotion of relief that it was bound to insinuate.

“Well, yeah…she’d be fine” Howon muttered softly, ran a hand through his hair and quietly sipped from his cup. A moment passed, and a couple of nurses passed by, giving the nosy side eyed glances. Eunji gazed down at her shoes, realizing that her make up probably looked smudged and her hair was a complete mess. Howon gulped down what’s left of his coffee and let out a sigh.

“Eunji” He called her then, in the tone which she recognized as the one he used when he was about to disclose something of gravity. Eunji felt a fine thud in her heart.

“Yeah?”

He cleared his throat and looked down at his hands clasped around the now empty cup. “There’s…something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about”

“Is everything alright?” She asked him, concerned.

“Yeah…I mean, no, like-,” He exhaled sharply. “Well, the thing is, mum’s been asking me this a for a while now, a couple of times”

A tinge of worry ignited in her mind, and she almost understood what he was getting at. And she always believed that anything his mother’s been asking couldn’t be classified as something good. She remained quiet, nonetheless, urging him to continue.

“You know, she isn’t getting any younger. And she’d had had so much going on in her life. With dad’s passing ten years ago and moving out of her town where she lived her entire life. It was too much for her to handle in that age. And now she’s worried that…that she won’t make it that long and she…” a deep exhale and she held her breath. “She wants me to come to a decision, Eunji”

Her skin prickled cold. “What…what decision?” She asked him in a voice too small, too uncertain for the occasion.

“A decision” He repeated and turned to fix his eyes on her. “A decision about us”

Eunji opened to respond, to ask him once more what he meant by that, to search for any clarification that what she perceived of his words was true. But then, when she met his eyes, she didn’t need his words to understand what he’d been going for. For the first time in her life, his silence seemed to echo louder and more coherent in her mind.

Author's note

A few things. First off, thank you everyone who stayed with me this long, to those who joined towards the end and read the whole thing, thank you. It's been a great pleasure to be writing for you.

This is the first of the last three chapters of this story, and we have two more to go, all of you must be delighted :D But I do hope you will join me in my up coming long chaptered story, whici won't be this long but still I'd make it as nice and enjoyable as possible. I haven't quite decided yet on a genre but I promise you that it would be just as desirable. But of course you don't have to read it if you don't want to.

Also, I've reached 500k+ words in the original document of this story. I'm not sure if its an achievement or plain ridiculous.

Also, I hope i didn't disappoint. Romance is not my best suite.

Love,
Achini