Dedicated to my mum and dad who look after my sorry, ignorant . This chapter comes in two parts. Though I was going to give it as one, well, it turned out to be too long and I didn't want to bore you. Also, read the authors not at the end.

Out of all the women in Kim Sung Gyu’s life, it was his mother whom he loved the most. Perhaps it was a given, that for all the men all over the world, his mother would always be their first love. Sung Gyu remember them teaching about this…notion in one of the psychology courses that he took back in college. It was the state where the son of the family loved the mother while the daughter loved the father the most. Sung Gyu could agree on that with regards to his own family. While his younger sister Jieun seemed to be attached to his father, Sung Gyu was a lot closer to his mother. He was a mummy’s boy, much adored, showered with affection no matter what age he was in. True, there was a time in his life when he was immensely intimidated by her. Regardless of how close the two of them were, Sung Gyu used to be horrified of her, especially during his younger days when the relationship between a teenager and a parent was more or less a ceaseless cold war. Sung Gyu was the kind to cause trouble as well as get into them the most. They lived in a small town in Jeonju back then, and his family was quite well off. His parents owned a chain of restaurants there as well as a catering service, making their family one of the most influential in the vicinity. It gave him some sort of a power, the idea that he came from a well known family in his small town. He was the only son of the Kims, the Kims that most of the town looked up to. And his parents were really kind people who offered jobs at their restaurants to many of the young and old people in the town. It wasn’t like they had some superiority in the village; nonetheless, young Sung Gyu liked that attention and always tried to establish himself an influential person in his school. He rebelled. He led groups of little ruffians who took a stand when one person of their gang got into trouble. Everyone in his school knew who Sung Gyu was. The son of the Kims and the conductor of the school orchestra who wanted to be a Rockstar one day. And this always got him into a series of troubles, eventually having to end up under his mother’s horrifying watchful gaze.

His father was more of a softie. He was carefree, quiet and more or less introverted, allowing his wife to take over the most crucial parts of their household while he quietly ran the business. He didn’t intervene when Sung Gyu came home battered after a fight at school or red faced after having been punished in the principal’s office. He was almost always tired and liked to laze around a lot, except for when he’s doing something with his sister Jieun and of course, when his grandmother was visiting. There wasn’t much bonding between him and his father for this reason, but he did spend a lot of time with him. Only that they never seemed to connect when he was still young. Things changed after he entered high school. He gained momentum, his dreams took a different turn. As much as he wanted to fulfill his childhood dream of becoming a Rockstar, he also wanted to do well in life, and that’s where his father came in. On the day when he finished his college entrance examination, he had a deep and long conversation with his father; about dreams, about life, about what he wanted to do next; that night his father promised they’d have their first bottle of Soju together had he entered a reputed college. The day his results were released, they had two bottles of Soju to celebrate, Sung Gyu got drunk and passed out, retched in the commode the next day and prepared for the rest of his life in the big, adult world in Seoul.

It was after moving into the big city that he realized how much he missed his parents and how much he missed his old life in their little village in the hometown. There was so much going on around him in this busy city of Seoul. Only then did he realize how their lives were measured by minutes and seconds and by how they chose to spend them. The world was spinning around him and he was smack dab in the middle of it all, lost and completely senseless. He had met Woohyun somewhere along the way after he entered college. He had slowly come to get used to his new, fast-paced life. But of course, there was still a large part missing of him. The love. The comfort. The reassurance. He missed his parents.

Sung Gyu was beyond thankful when both his parents decided to take an early retirement. Sung Gyu was in his second year of college, and he had come to find his own pace, working two jobs, earning for himself and the rent he shared with Woohyun and also finding himself entangled in endless labyrinths of love. There were lots of singing and drinking and . He had his first-time, stinking drunk with a woman a few years older than him in her apartment one time during a night out with Woohyun; and two weeks later, Yoora walked into his life like a whirlwind and made all the impossible things possible. He was beyond thankful that his parents turned up at the right time to catch him before he fell. He did a few mistakes, of course. And a huge, irreversible mistake. But no matter how wrong he went in life, Sung Gyu’s parents still loved him and accepted him. It was so much more than he could ever ask for.

Even now, what the thirty-three-year-old Sung Gyu soughed after the most was that reassuring embrace of his parents. His father wasn’t much of a cuddler. But he was patient. He was a talker; he was a listener. He balanced out well with his usually panic-stricken mother. His mother, of course was in a constant worry fest, anxious of just about everything related to her two children. She was never like this before. Back when he was young, his mother was uptight, stern and intimidating. If not for her yellow apron and the aroma of baked goods wafting around her so much, anyone would have mistaken her for a school teacher. But things happened, things changed. It was understandable. She had both her children flying out of their small nest almost around the same time. And then Sung Gyu, Sung Gyu he…well, let’s just say that he put his life into greater danger and got himself another irreversible damage. You could say that Sung Gyu in his adolescence was tremendously clumsy. But judging by the extreme ended dangers and troubles that he constantly put himself into, his parents never could sleep in peace.

The reason why they couldn’t sleep in peace on this particular night, however, was beyond him.

It was a long spring night. The rain had already ceased and the dew fell from the jade green leaves as they fluttered slowly in the wind only to land on heads and cheeks of the passersby. Sung Gyu didn’t know any of it, of course. Because they hadn’t any windows in their eleventh storey condominium. It was eerily quiet in the Kims residence that night. Of the young Kim residence, of course. The rooms were submerged in dimmed lights and the slow rumble of the air conditioning echoed within the apartment. The youngest Kim was soundly asleep in the comfort of his own bed, after a long and tiring day of school and doing homework with his baby sitter. The other Kim, the older one, the father, was sprawled listlessly across the sofa in the living room, snoring in his deep slumber himself. The television was on, illuminating the entire room which had only a lamp turned up; a few empty cans of soda and energy drinks littered the foot of the sofa. The sound of the TV was turned the lowest that no sound could be heard as the television personals cheerily chattered away. If anything, it’s another one of the Kims’ typical, weekday nights. But only, after hours of prolonged empty quietness, came a loud startling noise from the front door. Simultaneous knocking and the buzzer being pressed giving frantic signals; a muffled voice calling Sung Gyu’s name on and on. It was pandemonium, all of a sudden, in the formerly peaceful Kim residence.

Sung Gyu was startled awake, the mobile phone which rested on his chest fell on the carpet with a thud as he sat up, flabbergasted. It took a while for him to adjust to the surrounding he woke up into, which he took in through his narrowed sleepy eyes. The noises coming from the front door, however, were relentless. Sung Gyu was almost convinced that they were under a severe house fire. He clambered up on his feet and took a second to gain his composure. While rubbing the sleep from his eyes and the drool from the corner of his lips, he made his way to the front door and opened it without even checking the intercom. He was startled for the second time of that night then, and his sleepiness simply flew out the window. Standing before him was his father, and his mother standing quietly behind him, an incensed look in her eyes. But there was something more, which Sung Gyu managed to interpret as concern.

“Mum? Dad?” He called, the initial shock of seeing the unexpected visitors, yet to dissolve. “What are you doing here?”

“Your mum suddenly decided she wanted to see you” his father grunted as he walked past Sung Gyu into the house. “She went to bed early, woke up crying”

“W-what?” Sung Gyu looked back and forth at his parents exasperatedly, despite his sleep deprived self. His mother walked through the door herself and went straight into the kitchen where she soon began to slam the doors shut of the pantry cupboards, leaving Sung Gyu even more perplexed, unable to recall what he did wrong recently. He even visited them that weekend, and the lunch picnic they had that day was perfectly fine.

“But dad” Sung Gyu called to the living room where his father was giving the Television an unimpressed look. “You should have called me, I would have come there myself”

His father grunted something as he eased into the sofa and leaned back, closing his eyes tiredly. “hm, what?” Sung Gyu leaned against the doorframe, hoping to get an iota of a clue on their sudden visit from his deeply exhausted father. “Your mother had a nightmare” Said his father a little loudly this time.

“A nightmare?” Sung Gyu asked, intrigued as he folded his arms on his chest. “What kind of nightmare?”

“The accident” Sung Gyu’s father replied curtly after a while.

The accident. Sung Gyu groaned as his pressed his head on the doorframe and closed his eyes. He faced a brutal freak accident about ten years ago; it’s probably been longer than that, Sung Gyu couldn’t remember well; but it was officially marked as the biggest mistake of his life. Twenty something year old Sung Gyu had no value whatsoever in his life, or he had thought he was invincible. He couldn’t remember the cause either. Nonetheless, he had driven his first car in the light’s speed down through a Seoul tunnel in the middle of the night sometime in the winter, which resulted him severe internal damages as well as a bad case of anemia which had lasted since. The trauma of the accident, however, for him, lasted as long as three weeks and soon he had forked in more money to buy himself another car. For his mother, however, it lasted, well, forever. Sung Gyu had often had to convince her that no, he was doing fine and his previously shattered liver was now working perfectly well. Though he still was anemic after a severe loss of blood, Sung Gyu functioned perfectly well as all thirty-three-year-old-men-who-faced-an-accident-ten-something-years-ago did. But his mother was convinced otherwise.

He let out a long sigh and trudged his way into the kitchen. He was tired as it happened, since he’d had a busy day at work, what with this conference coming up. A large number of ministers from a number of countries were due to arrive in a week of time and the agency had been working day and night, preparing for their arrival. Hell, it wasn’t even their responsibility, except for providing them security. But the agency had apparently converted it to their problem, and now Sung Gyu was tired. Sung Gyu already had too much going on in his life, and his mother having an anxiety break-down was the last thing he needed. She was a difficult person to comfort. Not that he didn’t appreciate his parents’ sweet gesture or anything. He really wished he could be doing this in the morning, better yet, in the week end. Not at 1 AM in the dawn.

“Mum” Sung Gyu called as he stood against the wall in the kitchen. His mother had now stopped slamming the pantry doors and had resorted to heating some water. She was quietly leaning against the counter, a somber look in her eyes. The moment she noticed Sung Gyu’s presence in the kitchen confines, she pulled herself away and went to look at the content in the refrigerator.

“What is this, Sung Gyu?” She pulled out a few packets of store brought Kimchi, a look of utter disgust on her face as if the packets personally offended her. “I have told you to tell me when you run out of Kimchi! Your mother has nothing to do at home, you know? Or is it too hard for you to pick up the phone and just ring me?!?”

“Mum” Sung Gyu gave her a childish pout and staggered his way towards her. Sung Gyu knew how sensitive his mother could get, especially when it came down to him and his sister. He tok the packets of kimchi from her hands and dumped them into the bin. He gave her a small smile. “Shall I make you some coffee?”

His mother took in a haggard breath, but finally nodded her head. “Okay…T-that…would be fine”

So Sung Gyu made his mother sit down in a kitchen chair and pulled out a couple of mugs before retrieving some packets of instant coffee. The water began to boil and click away just in time. As he distractedly stirred the coffee, his mother spoke to him in a teary voice. “How are you, Sung Gyu-ah?”

His hand stiffened on stirring the coffee, but then he continued what he was doing. “I’m fine, mum”

“What about Sung jae?”

Sung Gyu had a slightest idea where this was all going. “We’re both fine” Sung Gyu replied.

“That’s not what Woohyun goon told me” His mother shot back in a hurt voice. “And it was difficult to get the truth out of him as it was”

Sung Gyu went quiet, remembering that he had made Woohyun swear to him to not tell his mother about the recent events. About Yoora’s pestering and the troubles he and Sung Jae had. They’ve talked about a number of things the past few weeks over coffee and lunch, and Sung Gyu had disclosed to Woohyun everything that had happened in his life, including his mental troubles and insecurities, all which he couldn’t tell his mother. Woohyun, being his loyal friend despite certain shortcomings, must have felt pressured by his mother’s prodding to tell her whatever he had told her. Sung Gyu didn’t blame him. After all, it was him who was at fault. Not Woohyun, nor his mother.

“You always tell me you’re fine Sung Gyu, you always do. You never tell us anything! And we were at home, thinking that you were doing okay, but I knew something was strong when you still hadn’t spoken to your sister!”

His sister. He silently cursed as he closed his eyes as if it would actually shut out the world around him. He’s been too busy trying to put the crumbling pieces of his life together that he completely forgot that he had an important conversation with his sister which was long overdue.

“I’ve been busy” Sung Gyu replied meekly, knowing it already that it wasn’t a convincing enough an answer.

“Well, that doesn’t explain why you’ve been avoiding her altogether! And you’ve never held back on talking to family just because you were busy, Sung Gyu, you always made time!”

His mother was a sobbing, yelling mess at that point and seeing her this way made his heart ache. He picked up the two mugs and set them on the table before he made his way behind her and put his hands around her small built, hugging her close. His mother then, began to cry even harder, and Sung Gyu tightened his hold, burying his head in her hair and taking a deep breath of her scent which he had grown up with. It made him feel warm in his eyes. “I’m sorry mum…” He whispered hoarsely and rested his chin on her shoulder. “It’s just that…things been a bit difficult but I didn’t want to worry you”

“Hell I was worried!” His mother cursed, making him cringe. “My son wouldn’t call me and lied to me consecutively, how could we not be worried, Sung Gyu, you father and I were worried sick! You’re our only son, if it hadn’t occurred to you yet!”

It stung him lightly in his heart, the agony in her voice. She was right. He should have spoken to them. He should have told them the truth. Above all, his parents were the ones who have always been there with him, through his best times and the worst. It’s them who worried about him the most. They deserved to know.

“Sorry…mum”

Sung Gyu’s mother sobbed harshly, but her hands were holding onto Sung Gyu’s which were still around her. “We’re your parents, Sung Gyu. True, you’re grown up now, but you always relied on us, and that doesn’t have to change now….” Another sob followed, and his mother’s hand reached up to touch his face. “We expect you to rely on us, no matter how long has passed. Because, no matter what, no matter how long it has been, you’re still our child”

“Mum…” Sung Gyu whispered, feeling warmth stinging in his eyes. He thought about himself as a father, about how, no matter the age Sung Jae was in, he still viewed him as his baby. For his parents, then, who had diligently and affectionately raised him since birth, shouldn’t he be the same?

No, he should be. It’s only that he hadn’t thought about it, not until now.

Sung Gyu placed a small kiss on his mother’s temple and extricated himself to sit on the chair beside her. His father came into the kitchen a minute later, and his mother grasped his hand. “I had a nightmare, Sung Gyu” She said.

“About the accident” Sung Gyu clarified thickly, as his father watched the exchange with caution.

His mother continued to straight ahead, her eyes glassy and face pale. When he took a close look into her eyes, he could see a speck of grey in them, something which had developed through old age. Her face had crinkled and all the sharp features he remembered were now hidden beneath her aging skin. He must have not seen it, or acknowledged it until now, but with a pang, Sung Gyu realized, his mother was looking small and tired than ever before. He swallowed thickly and looked at his father for a split second. “Mum?”

“I’m so scared, Sung Gyu” She said and wiped her face on her sleeve. “You’re going through so much and I’m worried you wouldn’t stop to take a breath, until it’s too much to take”

Sung Gyu sighed and fluttered his eyes close in response. “Mum, it wouldn’t be like that, I promise” he said in the most convincing tone he could muster. And he wasn’t lying. He knew that he had so much in his plate right now. But it wasn’t like it was the first time. Sung Gyu’s had enough trouble before in his life, and he had pulled through them quite well. He knew that things weren’t getting easier either. But he also knew that nothing lasted long, not even the troubles in his life. Yoora too, had to stop at some point. He knew her, and he knew she was one to give up, though with a fight. “Besides” He pushed on, projecting as much as positivity in his voice. “I have Woohyun. He’s been a great support to me the past few days” He said, recalling Woohyun and how he listened to him attentively; talking things out just the same way they used to. And then he swallowed thickly as he moved on to the next bit. “I also have Eunji” There was an unmistakable feeling stirring in his heart then, in memory of his next closest companion who had slowly eased herself in the depth of his heart in quite an unexplainable, uncomfortable way. He had found himself thinking about her, worrying about her much often than not. He had missed her, earned to see her. He was getting softened around her. And it quite troubled his mind.

“Well I’m sure they’re being of great help” Sung Gyu’s mother said, finally sounding less teary and more of her usual self. “I mean, they’re both wonderful and they’re both around your age, but…you can’t forget these two old people, like that, now Sung Gyu, you know how worried we are”

“I didn’t forget about you, mum!” Sung Gyu said defensively. “I was only…” his voice trailed off, and he added, in a smaller tone. “I was worried about you too”

“If you were, you should have spoken to us” His father said, awakening his voice for the first time, and Sung Gyu shrunk as if he was still the teen aged boy from back then, and hung his head. “I’m sorry…”

A moment of silence passed, then all of a sudden, his mother picked up the mugs of coffee and went into the living room. After a moment of startled hesitation, Sung Gyu took off behind her and, then his father followed.

The three of them settled in the wide sofa of the living room, Sung Gyu sitting in the middle with his feet up and a mug of warm coffee balanced on his knee and his parents on the either sides, his mother making snarky comments on people in the late night show, just like in the old times. Sung Gyu raised the volume the slightest in hopes it wouldn’t wake his son sleeping in his room and leaned against his mother.

“Mum”

“Hm?”

Sung Gyu rearranged himself on the sofa so that his knees weren’t getting on his way, and set his mug down on the coffee table. “You know, mum, the next time you have that…” He swallowed. “…Nightmare. You should call me first. I can come over. It’s no trouble”

“What? And let you drive in the middle of the night?” Replied his mother quite sternly. Silence fell, then, and Sung Gyu played with the hem of his mother’s shirt. “But it’s been more than ten years already” He said lowly, worried if him reminding her of the events which followed would set her off. “And now I’m extra careful with driving because of Sung Jae”

Another moment of silence passed then, and Sung Gyu’s mother reached over to set down the mug herself. She swallowed hard, her eyes dead set on the TV before them. “It’s been twelve years…and I don’t know, Sung Gyu. Normally I don’t…do this when I have nightmares about it”

Sung Gyu shifted and looked up at her face, surprised. “You have had nightmares before?”

“Of course” She sniffed. “Plenty times”

“Oh” Sung Gyu managed, feeling a guilty knot in his throat and pressed further into her small built, putting an arm around her. “So was it extra vivid or something this time around?”

“No” Sung Gyu’s mother shook her head as if she was disbelieving herself. “It’s just…it’s strange…I think it was a premonition”

“Premonition?” Sung Gyu echoed incredulously and sat up, giving her an amused look. Sung Gyu already knew that his mother believed in superstition and everything of the like, but he never expected her to go to this extent of coming all the way to his house in the middle of the night just because she thought the bad dream she had was a warning of some sort.

“Mum, are you writing a novel or something?” Sung Gyu replied cheerily, failing to grasp the stricken look in her face. “premonitions happen in science fiction and horror movies, not in real life”

“I don’t know” sighed his mother and put an arm around Sung Gyu, bringing his head to rest on her shoulder. Sung gyu liked being embraced by his mother, though he wasn’t very fond of cuddling himself. And after a long, tiring day, and having been deprived of a woman’s comfort for far too long, he found it completely endearing and asking for more. “Just…just be careful, Sung Gyu. Drive slowly and don’t get into any…troubles”

“Okay” Sung Gyu smiled and hugged his mother just in the same way he remembered to have hugged her all those years ago. Maybe she was right. Maybe Sung Gyu had never grown up for his mother.

“Mum?” He muttered into her shoulder.

“Hm?” His mother ran her fingers through his hair, and he nestled against her.

“Stay, don’t go home…” He was pouting unconsciously to himself.

“Well your father and I weren’t planning to go either way” His mother said noncommittally, though he could catch the obvious fondness in her voice. “besides there aren’t taxis at this time of the day”

“Okay mum” Sung Gyu moved away from his mother, and then she got him to lay his head in her lap, curling up against her like a big baby. “Maybe Jae and I can come over to your house after work tomorrow” Sung Gyu continued. “You should stay over until I come around, and then we’ll go together” An unsuspected yawn escaped from his mouth as he found comfort in his mother’s warmth, and she began to run her slender fingers through his dark hair. “Jae and I can stay over for a couple of days”

His mother shook her head. “As much as I want you to, it’s unnecessary trouble for you, Gyu” she replied softly. “You have work, Sung Jae has school, and you will have to travel long, it worries me nevertheless” She sighed. “You’d have to drive until late then, and I’d feel even worse”

“Hm” Sung Gyu nodded and closed his eyes. He contemplated for a moment then, feeling sleep coming to him slowly under his mother’s loving ministrations. “Well, if you’d feel any better, I’d just not drive for a while…” He said sleepily, his words were drawled as he spoke. “I’ll take the metro; it would be a good change…”

“I think I like that…” Mumbled Sung Gyu’s mother, her fingers in his hair, sending him into a peaceful, comforting slumber. She was saying more then, he could hear her voice in a distance, a small, muffled murmur and her words he couldn’t grasp. Sung Gyu felt her warmth nonetheless. He felt the endless love emanating from her adoring touch. And for once in so long, Sung Gyu drifted in to a long peaceful sleep huddled in the earnest, caring embrace of his mother.

*

“And Sung Gyu, look at your hair” Sung Gyu’s mother was still talking, still not taking note of her son’s soft even breaths as he drifted off to sleep. “Are you planning to grow it long? No police officer have I seen with hair so long. All of them had their heads shaved!”

“He’s not a police officer, love” Sung Gyu’s father responded fondly from the other end of the sofa where Sung Gyu’s feet had, unconsciously to him, come to rest upon his father’s thighs. But of course, he said nothing. He never said anything. His son’s comfort mattered to him the most, no matter what age he was in. “Sung Gyu is a hired investigator. I’m sure he had explained you the difference so many times already”

“Ah it’s not that different, it’s only that they didn’t graduate from police academy and they also have to bodyguard all those snobby politicians! Right, Gyu?” Sung Gyu’s mother ended her rambling at a questioning note and ran her fingers in his slightly long dark hair, anticipating a response. Yet she got none. “Hm? Gyu?”

She removed the long fringes of hair fallen above his eyes, and when she took in the sight of her son’s sleeping stance, tears pricked in her eyes. Sung Gyu was their only son, the son who was born with the will to live grasped tightly in his tiny wrists when it was a crucial situation where his life was on the line. Premature, he was. He was also one of the twins. The other never made it, his poor little heart gave away just as he was born. But Sung Gyu, little Sung Gyu who carried all the hopes and dreams of his parents made it through. His mother remembered how she first held him in her arms after so many days of fear and uncertainty had passed. Baby Sung Gyu was three days old already by then. Pink and utterly small, so fragile. It was a miracle that he fought through. For this reason, even after Jieun was born, Sung Gyu held a very special place in his mother’s heart. For her, he was a miracle, a hero, a precious little being that she had to protect at all costs. “Oh, he’s asleep” She whispered, not realizing that she had tears trickling down her cheeks.

“Hm?” a rustle came from the other end, and soon his father was also above him, looking down at his child fondly. “He must have been tired after work. Woohyun goon did say they were preparing for a conference or the other”

“Those snobby politicians” Said Sung Gyu’s mother with spite, though softly so as not to awake her sleeping child. “They better not be giving my boy a hard time”

“But Sung Gyu handles things well, does he not?” Sung Gyu’s father commented as he eased onto sit on the coffee table. He put away the cans which littered the carpet, happy to find that none of them were alcohol. Sung Gyu couldn’t handle alcohol well. He remembered the first time they had Soju together, and after three shots, the boy had passed out in his arms. He really was an innocent child who couldn’t even take the strength of alcohol. Yet he was also quite strong, strong enough to withstand the pressure of raising a child on his own. Sung Gyu’s father had always thought his son had grown up a remarkable child.

“He sure does” Said his mother, fondly her son’s soft cheeks. It’s also strange that he still hadn’t lost much of his baby fat, despite his age. Perhaps her Sung Gyu never grew out of being a child, after all. But the other reason she had assumed to be true was precedent. “Someone’s been feeding him well” She mumbled, further assessing how, regardless of all the troubles in his life, Sung Gyu had still maintained a good, healthy weight and a nice glow to his skin.

“I sure hope it’s not that girl, Sung Jae’s mother” Said Sung Gyu’s father with distaste. “She looks shifty. I don’t trust her”

“No” Sung Gyu’s mother shook her head. Her intuition never lied, and if anything, she knew her only son, her most precious possession like the back of her palm. She knew him enough to say that the glow she saw on his skin was not entirely due to being fed well, and it wasn’t only Yoora he had as a woman in his life. “It’s not that girl”

“Do you think he’s seeing someone?”

Sung gyu suddenly shifted on the sofa, startling the parents who were conversing in hushed tones. They were worried if they’ve woken their son, but then Sung Gyu nestled comfortable in his mother’s lap and put a hand under his head. He was still deep in his sleep, and the posture he was in made him almost look like a child. He was a child. Nothing has changed. It was unlikely, if things were this way, that he was seeing someone special.

“Maybe” Sung Gyu’s mother said, not wanting to jinx whatever the good thing which seemed to be happening in his life. “Anyway, shouldn’t we get him to bed, darling?”

“I hope we could” Sung Gyu’s father said with a dejected sigh. “I wish…but he’s no longer twelve and I’m an old man”

“No longer twelve, that is true….” Mumbled Sung Gyu’s mother as she observed her sleeping son even longer. “But he will always be a child in my eyes”

*

Upon stepping into the house the next morning, Eunji was pleasantly surprised by the unexpected visitors. The small home was livelier than ever before, echoes of so many voices bickering and things in the kitchen clanking and clattering spread throughout the house. When she walked into the kitchen which was more or less her designated place every morning was extraordinarily crowded that day, and her boss, usually uptight and moody, was sitting on the counter chattering away loudly as he fed on some fruits which somebody had peeled and cut up for him, looking unusually cheerful and almost too delighted for a man his age. His posture, legs hanging off the counter he was comfortably perched on, was a striking contrast to his attire. And was he just wearing…batman socks? Eunji shook her head vigorously, trying to push the disturbing image right off her mind. She couldn’t remember herself taking to laundry anything even remotely disturbing as that. She might as well be hallucinating.

“And Dong Woo started screaming blue murder when we took him to the deck!” Sung gyu exclaimed dramatically, throwing his hands in the air, looking so much like a five-year-old retelling a story to another five-year-old. There were so many things wrong about that morning. It wasn’t that Eunji was complaining. But this strange Sung Gyu so early in the morning was slowly climbing up her nerves. So, before he could launch into yet another loud and boisterous account on Dong Woo chronicles, Eunji cleared and greeted loudly, in case her existence went unnoticed, which happened too often than not when it came to the Kims.

Sung Gyu’s mother, who was previously listening to his son and his excited talking with a fond smile on her face as if the guy was speaking for the first time, had now turned to look over at where Eunji stood looking out of place. She gave her a big, warm smile, and Sung Gyu slid off the counter after popping the last piece of apple into his mouth. “Oh! There she is” He greeted with a full mouth.

“Eunji-ah, I’m making them breakfast today, I hope you don’t mind me doing your morning work” Said his mother in a mild tone as she put away the cubes of Tofu that she’s sliced. “You can also have some breakfast, dear”

Eunji already felt a gourmand as she eyed the bubbling hot goodness perched atop the stove. She hadn’t had a proper meal since evening the day before. “Okay, that would be nice”

“Had a good evening, miss Jung?” Sung Gyu, who had now discarded the container he was eating in, to the sink, asked her, now seated in a kitchen chair like a proper grown man. Eunji’s cheeks flushed before she could stop herself. She knew what he was implying, of course. Eunji was out on a date the other day, hence having to leave early which resulted Sung Gyu to return home early as well. He didn’t complain when she made that request to him, to let her leave a little earlier that day. Nor did he ask any questions. Well, except for one. It was more of a statement, less of a question of course. “A date?” He inquired. And of course, that’s exactly what it was. But it didn’t go exactly well because the guy she’s been seeing since a few days back actually turned out to be an engaged person looking for an escape from his ‘wrongful marriage’, apparently. She found that out in the wrong ways, regardless, she was glad that fiasco had ended. Yet, dread ran up her spines. Another failed date meant another blind date coming on her way. The next would be her seventh, and she was already tired of seeing men of all sorts and sizes as it happened.

“Well, just…” Eunji shrugged and leaned against the wall beside the pantries. She let out a sigh. “He happened to be an engaged psychomaniac”

Sung Gyu whistled lowly. “That’s grim”

“What could I do” Eunji said, recalling the moment when the truth revealed itself, she didn’t even have to try. “Guess it was for the best. I didn’t even like him”

Sung gyu was quiet for a moment, and when Eunji looked up, she could see his mother staring at her, watching their exchange. She suddenly felt like she was being listened into something personal. Soon his mother looked away, going back to concentrate on her stew.

“I don’t know, Eunji” Sung Gyu said, all of a sudden, giving Eunji a knowing look. “This blind date thing sounds really off for me. All the guys you’ve met so far are just…weird.”

“And you’re not?” Eunji raised her brows.

Sung Gyu’s mouth twitched. “At least I’m not dating you”

“Keep dreaming”

Sung gyu smiled. “Not in million years”

Silence ensued then, and the two of them were engaged in a ruthless staring contest. Sung Gyu’s eyes weren’t, for a second, ripping off his gaze on her, and Eunji began to feel the intensity of his right on her core. They were warm, his eyes were. And always seemed to hold thousand million galaxies of untold stories and unsung songs. The gaze was tender, mesmerizing. Holding it with her own, trying to match that intensity of his was making her slowly lose herself in that universe of his. She was floating, in a trance. It horrified her.

Falling in love with Sung Gyu horrified her. He was like a dream, a farfetched dream, a challenge she was terrified to lose.

“Baby sitter!” The familiar voice of her favorite little boy erupted from the hallway, and that gave her the excuse to finally rip her eyes off her employer’s disarming gaze. She stood up, equally as delighted to finally be with someone who matched her kind of happiness and mental age, and Sung Jae crashed in through the door and fell right into her, putting his arms around her waist. Eunji laughed.

“Good morning!” Sung Jae greeted as he extricated himself from the baby sitter’s embrace.

“Good morning, Jae! But shouldn’t you greet you grandmother first?”

“I already did” Sung Jae explained as he waltzed his way around the table towards his grandmother. “She woke me up in the morning today. And grandpa. Because appa slept long, and in my bed” Sung Jae threw an unimpressed look at his father. “He took most of the bed and I nearly fell”

“Now, Jae, you know it isn’t true” Sung gyu argued, but Sung Jae only sent it through deaf ears as he excitedly explained why they were up so early in the morning. And it was right. Both the father and the son were already dressed to leave for the day while on the other days, by the time Eunji arrived at the condominium, Sung Jae was still asleep while a half dressed Sung Gyu sleepily meddled with the coffee maker (which he broke, sometime later, and they had to settle for instant coffee)

“We’re going to take the metro to school!” Sung Jae exclaimed as if it was the most exciting event happening in his life after a plethora of dull days. “Or the bus, I think. I don’t know, but still!”

“You wouldn’t like it when you experience it, kid, trust me” Eunji said, sounding bored.

“Don’t jinx it, don’t you see he’s excited?” Sung Gyu complained, but Eunji feigned him ignorance. “So why are you suddenly taking the metro?” a small smile appeared on Eunji’s lips. “Is your Appa going to give you life experiences?”

Sung Jae frowned. “life…ex…?”

“Because Sung Gyu can’t take the car today, or the next day, or the next” Interrupted Sung Gyu’s mother with a straight face, and Eunji immediately looked at her employer, who was making a face of embarrassment, perhaps, in response to how his mother put it. She indeed did make it sound like he’s been caught doing something which made him one to deserve being grounded.

“What, did you break your car?” Eunji shot at him.

Sung gyu winced. “No, I did not, I-,”

“Did you crash it?”

“Of course not!”

“Do you want to borrow mine? Oh, you can borrow mine, but any damage you do would be your responsibility”

“Ah Eunji” Sung Gyu whined and looked up to face her with utter irritation. “It’s not me, only mum…she thinks that-,”

“Not I think, Sung Gyu, it’s the truth!” Sung Gyu’s mother exclaimed, looking ten times as dramatic as Sung Gyu was when telling his mother about Dong Woo’s bridge phobia. She looked up at Eunji with a determined face. “I had a premonition last night”

“What’s a premonition?” Sung Jae asked curiously.

“It’s when a dream gives a sign something bad will happen” Sung Gyu explained.

“That sounds nasty”

“But they aren’t true”

Eunji threw an irritated look at Sung Gyu and turned back to his mother. “So what was it about?”

Sung Gyu’s mother sighed dejectedly and placed the stew on the middle of the table where bowls of rice and a couple of side dishes were already set. Eunji quickly moved to retrieve some plates, and Sung Gyu sat silently as he watched the stew bubbling away. His mother fell into the chair beside him. “It was the accident from those years back”

“Mum” Sung Gyu frowned. “She doesn’t know about the-,”

“Is this the one where you got anemia?” Eunji supplied, recalling the time Sung Gyu vaguely mentioned it to her.

“That….” Sung Gyu’s mother gulped, and looked at Eunji who looked slightly uninterested in the direction the conversation was going. His mother didn’t take note of her, of course. She asked the babysitter with all seriousness; “Do you believe in premonitions, Eunji-ah?”

Eunji looked quite thrown by the unexpected question, making it obvious that she heeded no care about the accident they were speaking of. “Uh…I think they’re…interesting?”

Sung Gyu snorted from her right, which earned him glares from every direction, mainly from his mother, thus he soon regained his composure of looking all proper and very much dad-like.

“It’s getting late, we have a train to catch” he said and made Sung Jae to sit beside him. “Let’s just eat. All this talking has made me hungry”

Eunji, without saying anything, threw her boss a look of sheer disbelief. The thing was that she loved him, but she still couldn’t get a real grip on his erratic behavior and all the times he didn’t make sense. Like now, for an instance, where he didn’t talk so much as insulted and offended everyone around him, only to claim that the talking had made him hungry.

Eunji was right about one thing, surely. Sung Gyu was farfetched. And sometimes, he was a farfetched pile of utter absurdity.

*

“We’ll go over to your place after work, okay, mum?” Sung Gyu said to his mother as he hugged her warmly, a reassurance for her to return safely despite what he believed. “And since I’m taking the train, there’s a very little chance that your premonition will be true”

“Don’t take these things so lightly, Sung Gyu” his mother chided in return and pulled away, a worried look etched on her face. “Life is this fragile little thing”

Sung Gyu rolled his eyes at his mother who sounded like Moon Soo next door when he’s drunk with her philosophical thinking, before he slung the strap of his shoulder bag across his chest. Sung Gyu usually didn’t carry a bag, it was a big burden for him and he had all the documents neatly filed and thrown in the backseat of his car, ready to be used when convenient. Having to travel by train, however, lots of things had to be considered; waking up early in the morning, for one. And then a bag. The next bit, of course was the hardest part which he decided not to worry about, at least until they reached the subway station.

“Ready, Jae?” He asked his son who was in the hallway, chattering away with the babysitter animatedly. He already had his backpack on, and an excited look in his eyes. It occurred to him, later on, that this would be the first time for Sung Jae to be taking public transport. Of course, he’d be excited, until he came across the perks of it.

When they travelled down the elevator, after having said their goodbyes, Sung Jae grasped his hand tightly and did a little excited skip. There was a wide smile donning his lips as he looked up at his father, looking almost grateful, and Sung Gyu felt his heart tighten upon the realization that this smile would soon fade away once he actually climbed into the metro coach. All things considered, For Sung Gyu, travelling public transport was a terrible way to begin one’s day.

Reaching the closest entrance to the subway required a walk of few minutes from the apartment plaza, a path Sung Gyu had last taken almost two years ago. He remembered the directions, thankfully, and all the way across the plaza entrance, the street and down the road, Sung Gyu held Sung Jae’s hand and glanced down at him every once in a while, checking how well he was putting up so far. For his amazement, Sung Jae’s excitement didn’t lessen one bit. In fact, it was intensifying, getting better. If anything, Sung Jae was so much as skipping his way through the crowd as if he was about to visit the most exciting place there has ever been. Sung Gyu couldn’t help but catch the sight of his son and laugh.

“What excites you so much?” Sung Gyu asked as they finally arrived at the subway entrance. It was already bustling with crowd, the early morning commuters hurrying down the stairs, lost in their own worlds. Sung Gyu despised being pushed and pulled in the morning rush. He hated the heat and the stench of perspiration which wafted around in public transportation units constantly, he hated having to be on his feet the entire journey, he hated having to take more train than one for a single trip, he hated all of it. Ever since he got himself a car there’s hardly been a day when he took public transport for any reason whatsoever, and standing there in the middle of the crowd, trying to recall how one purchased tickets off the ticketing machines, Sung Gyu couldn’t believe himself that he took up to the grating challenge just for the sake of his mother. At least she’d be relieved, he thought to himself, grasping harder onto Sung Jae’s hand who was looking around the station in wonderment. Just this once.

Sung Jae’s first time in the sub way station, however, was an adorable occasion to cherish. There was a distinct shine in his eyes, widened and observing every nook and cranny of the place, seeing new people, coming across the kind of things he had only seen in TV. Seeing the look on his face, Sung Gyu began to feel slightly better. At least one of them was enjoying. And it will also be a good experience for him, to see how life mingled about for ordinary people. It will be a lesson. It will be worthwhile.

But the only problem was that Sung Gyu didn’t exactly know which routes to take to go to Sung Jae’s school. Usually it was just a twenty minutes’ drive away from home but by metro, Sung Gyu was sure, it would take longer, and there won’t even be a direct route. With a frustrated sigh, he walked towards the sizeable map put up in a corner and picked Sung Jae in his arms so that he wouldn’t get dragged away by the swarming commuters. With his free hand, he tried to locate the road to the school, and from there to work. Speaking under his breath, his fingers followed the various color-coded roads which formed nothing but a huge mind-boggling labyrinth. Soon he was beginning to develop a headache, and so far, he had gotten nothing. Dejected, he opted to an alternative, put Sung Jae back on the ground and held onto him tightly, cornering him to the wall. Then he dialed his best friend.

“Hyung, good morning!” Woohyun greeted after he picked up on the seventh ring. “What’s up?”

“Woohyun I need your help” Sung Gyu sighed, put his hand in his hair and propped up his elbow against the wall. Then he launched into a quick account on how he ended up having to take public transport which he despised with passion.

“So, because of this premonition you’re stuck at the subway station now?” Woohyun laughed.

“Sadly, yes” Sung Gyu responded, dragging Sung Jae back towards him when he tried to wander off. “But I don’t know which ones to take and the map is a mess”

“you can pick a leaflet” Woohyun suggested.

“I hardly have time to read that, Woohyun, I’m with Sung Jae, he needs to get to school”

“Okay then” Woohyun muttered, and Sung Gyu could almost see him rolling his eyes back in annoyance. Woohyun told him the right routes, nonetheless, hurriedly but quite clearly, which Sung Gyu quickly wrote down on a stray piece of paper while crouching down on the ground, pen and paper on his knee and the phone wedged between his shoulder and ear. And through that he had to keep dragging Sung Jae back with his shirt and stay balanced without falling on his bum. It was pandemonium.

“okay thanks, Woohyun” Sung Gyu responded as he finally made it to the ticketing machine.

“Sure Hyung” he replied cheerfully. “Just don’t get into a car crash or anything. Premonitions are scary ”

Sung Gyu just shook his head and cut off the line. He couldn’t believe that he was doing this, taking the subway because of some premonition. They were just superstitious beliefs, in his mind, things which lied way beyond reality and existed mostly in human mind. How could someone possibly be warned of something which could happen in the future? Then why hadn’t god warned anyone about Tsunamis? The next presidential election? Why hadn’t god saved all those lives of the people who died in car crashes? He let out a long sigh and looked up at the screen before him. He’d rather stay home with a shattered lung and anemia than taking a crowded, stinky train to work. But as it happened, he was left with no choice.

“Now take the ticket, Jae” Sung Gyu said once he had purchased the tickets off the machine, well, technically, after Sung Jae had insisted he did it and had nicely done it himself. He did a little hop as the machine whirred and soon two tickets were in the small compartment, which Sung Jae grabbed with a flurry. “Let’s go, let’s go!”

Never had he seen anyone getting so excited about taking a smelly subway, but Sung Jae’s good mood was slowly rubbing off on him and he was feeling just slightly better about doing this, which vanished as soon as they arrived at the right platform and found it bustling with commuters, all heading to work so early in the morning. And there was hardly a single child in the crowd. All men and women, some in smart suits, the others just bored and casual, a few students among them. Sung Gyu was beginning to get worried if they would push Sung Jae when they all flow into the train. It was a nightmare. But still, Sung Jae’s good mood had barely worn off.

Just as he expected, the moment the train arrived, everyone started their pushing and pulling game. Some could hardly wait as the arriving commuters flowed out the train. The kept nudging everyone in the face until they made it inside and found a good spot to laze in till they arrived at their destination. Only then, Sung Jae’s face became sour. He was stuck between some lady and himself, so Sung Gyu cursed under his breath at the lady who was crushing his baby and picked him up in his arms before he too, slid into the train together with the others. The smell of perspiration and the loud chatter along with the unbearable early summer heat was already getting to him, and his head was pounding. It was by far the worst morning he had ever had in his life. Thankfully, there was one tiny space left on the blue plastic bench, and Sung Gyu hurriedly moved past everyone to snatch it before someone else did. He soon sat Sung Jae down and stood in the crowd before him, grasping tightly onto the hangars above. His hands and legs were paining already and the commuters wouldn’t just stop pushing. The place was as packed as a sardine container. Sung Jae looked up at his father with worry etched on his face. He looked slightly scared, must have been startled by the rush of the people which was something he had come across never before. Sung Gyu feeling concerned himself, asked his son “Are you okay?”

Sung jae nodded hurriedly and Sung Gyu only smiled in response.

They travelled quietly for a moment, Sung Gyu diligently checking each station that they passed. Theirs was the seventh station, which was about good thirty minutes away, and from there another metro for two stops until they were brought to the closest subway station to the school. He’d have to walk the rest of the way, of course, with Sung Jae on the tow. After that, to work he had to take two more, one of five stations and the next with four. He closed his eyes tightly and let out a sigh. It was sure going to be a long, long, morning. And to say that he would have to do this until his mother start realizing that the premonition was all in her head…he sure hoped that it happened soon, or he’d die just by travelling the metro every day.

A few minutes later Sung Gyu found himself pushed all the way towards the closed side of the door of the subway, hanging onto the pole in the middle and simultaneously checking on his son still seated in the bench and the passing stations. It was when they were in the fifth station that a large crowd of older citizens slid in, and Sung Gyu was watching his son in amazement as what he could think of as the most beautiful, amazing thing happened. Sung Jae, little, kind, generous Sung Jae simply climbed up on his feet and offered his seat to the old lady who was struggling to remain standing. There was a wondrous smile on his face, a look of care and concern, and Sung Gyu felt his heart strings being tugged on incessantly, trying to believe that he had indeed been blessed with such a beautiful child. Sung Jae has never been on public transport, yet he knew that the kind of ethics did exist. The child soon pushed through the crowd towards his father with his backpack getting stuck in the crowd so many times. Sung Gyu managed to pull his son through the unhelpful commuters and held him against himself. He ran his hand through Sung Jae’s hair, and the child looked up with a brilliant smile. “What you did just now was so kind and generous of you, Sung Jae…appa’s proud of you” He said to the child over the rumbling of the train. “And it’s even more amazing that it’s your first time in the subway and you did something like that”

“Baby sitter taught me” Sung Jae replied, a pompous stance in his eyes. “She said it’s a good ethic to give my seat to grandmas and ladies carrying babies. Besides grandmas can’t stand the whole time” He grimaced as if he was recalling a sour memory. “They have bad knees like my grandma”

Sung Gyu laughed in response, not mentioning the fact that his grandma really hadn’t bad knees and shook his head. What got to him the most was that Eunji had taught him something so important about commuting in public transport, something he himself had failed to teach him. She was great influence on him, and Sung Jae almost always followed the things that she said quite diligently, almost like she was his…mother. Would Yoora have done the same for him, then? Would he have done the same for Yoora?

Deep in his thought, Sung Gyu slowly caressed his child’s head, his fingers running through those soft curls distractedly, his eyes fixed somewhere behind those tightly shut doors, the passing stations and beyond. Another station passed soon, people pushed in, and only then Sung Gyu held the boy tighter, who was carefully grasping the handle beside the door. Sung Jae looked up at his father worriedly, and Sung Gyu managed a smile, feeling terrible that Sung Jae had to go through all of this suffering for his sake. Perhaps, if he had a better father, a father who was not himself, then, little Sung Jae’s life would have been much, much better…Sung Gyu had always felt that way. That he wasn’t a good father, that he wasn’t doing enough and that Sung Jae deserved better. But then, but then there were the moments when Sung Jae proved him wrong.

Like now.

Sung Jae who was previously grasping the handle soon launched onto his father and latched onto Sung Gyu’s waist, burring his face in his abdomen. Sung Gyu was surprised. He wasn’t expecting it. When Sung Jae pulled away the slightest, only to look up at him, Sung Gyu saw the most brilliant smile; one that implied gratitude, appreciation, contentment, as if Sung Gyu was the best father little Sung Jae could ever ask for. And was Sung Gyu going to convince himself otherwise? No, he believed in his son, and he believed his son to make the best choices of all. If he had decided that his father was the person whom he’d love the most, Sung Gyu would take it any day and love him back hundred times as much, maybe even thousand, million times. Sung Gyu smiled back but he felt his heart beating wildly in his throat, all for the endless, boundless love he had for his child which grew and flourished every passing day. He looked down at Sung Jae who still hugged him by his waist, and fixed the soft wavy hair which had fallen over his eyes. Then he smiled. “You okay, Jae?”

“Yup!” Sung Jae nodded cheerily and hugged his father even tighter. Sung Gyu pressed his free hand on Sung Jae’s back and held him tighter, closer. They resumed hugging for the rest of the journey, and even in the next shuttle they took. They hugged each other all the way to the subway near his school, and the rest of the time, held onto their hands with the quiet promise of never letting go.

*

“Just a little until school”

“Yes!”

“Are you tired Jae?”

“Nope!”

After the long, exhausting travel on the subway which took them beyond half an hour, Sung Gyu and Sung Jae were walking the rest of the way to school. It was a slightly hot late spring morning, a warm breeze greeted them along with the soft rustles of trees and the chirping of birds above. Sung Jae’s school, despite the distance, was situated in a rather tranquil part of the city where tall, blossoming trees lined the sidewalks instead of buildings and cherry blossoms decorated the streets. Sung Jae skipped through the descending petals of cherry blossoms in the breeze, his cheerful energy not worn off after the tiring ride. Sung Gyu grasped onto his hand and tried to match his leisurely pace, the two of them walking and chattering away as if they had all the time in the world.

“So, did you like the subway so much?” Sung Gyu asked conversationally and brushed away a stray cherry blossom petal which landed on his son’s soft curls. Sung Jae was happily skipping his way down the road that he was duly amazed at the amount of energy he still had left even after a long, tiresome start for the day.

“Yeah!” Sung Jae yelled as he held up a hand in the air. “It was fun! We can do it everyday!”

Sung Gyu felt a shiver run down his spine at the prospect of them travelling for such a long distance every morning on the subway. He wasn’t so sure about Sung Jae, possibly because he was a child who had lots of energy to spare, but for him the subway ride was something he would rather not experience for a long, long time. “Right” Sung Gyu nodded in response. “But there were so many people in the metro, Jae, how could you find it fun?”

“Because there were so many people” Sung Jae answered simply and looked up to meet his father’s eyes, the father who was perplexed by his strangely profound answer. “Isn’t it fun, Appa? And we can cuddle all the way!”

Sung Gyu laughed fondly in response, realizing that the part the child had enjoyed the most was exactly the bit Sung Gyu himself found to be the only good thing about the early morning rushed ride. “It wasn’t cuddling, now, was it? It was just holding”

“No, it was cuddling” Sung Jae huffed, stopped walking and hugged Sung Gyu’s waist again. They were stilled in the moment longer, Sung Jae hugging him and Sung Gyu slowly hugging him back, his hand threaded in his hair and a comfortable warmth spreading from his heart and through his veins. Sung Gyu found himself finally feeling gratified and contented, despite how difficult and excruciating that morning happened to be. At least he had gotten something good out of it. Something beautiful. Something so precious that he was reluctant to let go though he was already pressing of times.

“Cuddling, like this” Sung Jae explained as he moved away. “T’was fun”

Sung Gyu watched after him as his son skipped away ahead of him. The boy was growing. Though it was a slow, imperceptible process, the changes were already evident in his eyes. Not just the physical changes; not just him getting taller and gradually losing the baby fats he had. It was how Sung Jae seemed to get closer to him, it was how their bond seemed to flourish and cherish despite the small fallbacks they’ve had. It was how his heart grew warmer and larger to give so much more love to the child. It was how effortlessly Sung Jae was taking it all and giving back so much more. It was finally as if they were beginning to ease into the notion of becoming family, just the two of them on their own.

“Appa!” Sung Jae called from where he was, which was a few steps ahead of him under a heavily blossomed tree, the soft pink petals raining down on him and a few landing on his shoulders and curls. There was a brightness of childish excitement in his eyes as well as a big brilliant smile of pure contentment playing on his lips. Sung Jae seemed strangely younger and childlike at moments like this. The brilliant smile that shined, the way his eyes formed the crescent moons he had inherited from his father, everything reminded him of the first gummy but beautiful smile he had earned and grown to cherish all those years ago. Sung Gyu’s heart filled with warmth, fondness and contentment. Sung Jae was growing up, true. But he would still and always be his baby.

“Appa! Appa! Hurry up!!” Sung Jae called yet again, hopping impatiently on his feet. “We’re getting late for school!”

“Wait up” Sung Gyu called with a smile as he hurried his way towards the child. “Appa’s coming!”

The moment Sung Gyu reached him, his son grasped onto his hand yet again and began to drag him towards his school which was in the visible distance now. Sung Gyu suddenly began to dread the sight, reluctant to let go of his most precious belonging even for the few hours they’d be apart. He walked slowly by purpose, making Sung Jae grow even more impatient, but at least it kept them together for longer. At least it stalled for more time.

Upon finally arriving at the school gates, Sung Gyu realized that they’ve barely made it before the class started. The entranceway which was usually bustling with parents and children was now deserted, a sure indicator that they were considerably late. If it was any other day, Sung Gyu would have gotten worried, exasperated, even. But the emotions the previous incidents have induced were taking a toll on him, making him feel strangely calm and contenting despite circumstances. He took one long glance at the entrance, down at his son who was patiently waiting for the farewells and with a grunt, he pushed his shoulder bag which was strapped across his chest, behind him and crouched down before the child.

“Okay, we’re here” Sung Gyu smiled, reached over and gave Sung Jae a quick but a lingering hug. “Don’t mind too much if the homeroom teacher yells at you for getting late to class, okay? Tell her it’s the very last time and just apologize, hm?”

Sung jae nodded obediently, his wavy hair flopping around like of a puppy.

“And be good. Be kind. Work hard. Be happy. Appa loves you a lot, okay?”

“Okay!” Sung Jae chirped in response. Sung Gyu reached his hand out and pulled Sung Jae’s head towards him, placing a chaste hiss on his head. “I might get late to come home today since I have to take the subway again. But baby sitter will pick you up after school. Be nice to her, okay? Don’t cause trouble to her and to your grandparents. We’ll go to their house after I come”

“Okay, appa, can I go now?” Sung Jae hopped impatiently, and Sung Gyu responded with a laugh. “It’s so weird, maybe because we hugged a lot today, but I don’t feel like being away from you, Jae”

“But I have to go to school!” Sung Jae argued in a flurry. “I’m late already!”

“Of course, you’re right” Sung Gyu responded as he climbed up on his feet reluctantly. Once Sung jae disappeared through the door, he and Sung Gyu would be apart for long hours. When they’d finally meet again, the day would have already passed, and the next day, Sung Jae would be a day older than now, and another one step closer to the day when Sung Gyu would set him down on the ground from his arms for the very last time since he wouldn’t be able to carry him again. Sung Gyu was consumed by an unfathomable fear. He didn’t want the days to pass.

“I’ll be going, Appa!” Sung Jae greeted cheerily, already making his way towards the entrance. Sung Gyu felt his heart constrict, watching him going further away from him. So, he acted quickly and pulled his son against himself for one last hug. It was strange. Sung Gyu was feeling immensely emotional that day, and he blamed it all on the annoying train ride. “I’m going to miss you” Sung Gyu said, caressing Sung Jae’s hair as the child squirmed in his arms despite enjoying the attention he was being subjected to. Sung Gyu finally pulled away. “Appa I’m late!!” Sung jae huffed, looking annoyed.

“Okay, okay, go on now!” Sung Gyu relented, finally putting his paining, earning heart to a rest. He really wished he had more time to spend together with his son. He really wished school and work never got between them.

“Bye appa!” Sung Jae greeted before his sprinted off towards the entrance as Sung Gyu watched him with a heavy heart. The child must have been late to school that he was all for breaking the goodbyes short, but still he didn’t forget to stop at the foot of the door, turn to his direction and greet him again with a quick, cheerful wave, that same childish smile blooming on his face. Sung Gyu waved back, although a strange, invisible string kept pulling him at the boy’s direction. He pursed his lips and let out a sigh. Sung jae had already pushed open the door and disappeared behind it. Until after work…

He finally willed himself to traverse the school grounds and resume with the rest of the day. He had most of it laid down before him to be indulged or suffered, and he genuinely hoped his days could, for once, stop in time so that he could stop for a second and breathe. Once at the gate he stared down at the long stretch of the road covered in thousands and thousands of cherry blossoms and let out a sigh, the road which he now had to take on his own. Despites the odd good bits of it, the challenge of taking the subway every morning under his mother’s quest had done him more bad than good. And now all the fat he had accumulated on lazing around for long hours would have to be burned on all the travel he would be doing; he was certain, by the end of the day he would have lost a good amount of fat as well as the motivation and the will to go on living. ‘Just for a few days’ he thought and proceeded to take the long, lonely walk. Just until his mother forgot the stupid warnings about his impending death or whatever. He sure did hope the process would be faster.

*

A third pair of eyes was hidden behind the shadows of the school entrance, watching the heartwarming sight of a father and a son unfold before her; something beautiful, something entrancing to make the rest of her day.

Earlier on that day, Yoora had made contact with Sung Jae’s homeroom teacher to fulfil the long overdue meeting with her to discuss something which they both deemed to be exceedingly important, but definitely stepping out of the line. Yoora had taken months trying to gather her guts to go ahead with this initial plan, but through this time, many things have happened, many things have changed. She had realized things, she had forgotten things, she had put certain things under the rug and certain things she had brought back to the surface after having been buried in the sands of her past for too long. And now was time, the time to do what she’s been planning to do for all this time.

And the apprehension of the plan had somehow convinced her to arrive at the school a good few hours earlier than intended. She wasn’t sure what made her feel that morning that it was imperative she went to the school a little too early. She wasn’t sure what unworldly pull she had felt to be following her gut instincts. Sitting under the shadows, watching the child and his father and their exquisite bonding so beautiful under the warm sunlight of the day, Yoora realized, she was brought here for a reason, a reason which was as clear as the sky above, to her. Realization. She was here to realize…something, to have it hitting and thawing the doors of her heart, pulling at their strings incessantly until she finally gave in. Yoora held her breath as the mirrors of his eyes caught the light of the sun and glimmered beautifully, the smile she was so used to having haunting her dreams blooming slowly on his lips. He had grown older, his skin was darker, his hair was longer, he was skinnier, but the man she had loved so many years ago was still there, buried deep within him, yet obvious in her eyes to be grasped. Sung Gyu was a beautiful man, though Yoora had developed a strange, unfathomable hatred towards him over the time. She had still thought he was beautiful, even through her wrath. And now she was seeing it clearly, even more so, at a moment when the anger didn’t cloud her perception, he was still enticingly beautiful. But what sparkled more at that moment was something different, something exquisite. Yoora didn’t once rip her gaze off them, how he held their child, how he kissed him, how he showered him with so much love and yet looked like he still had more to give. A father. That’s what he was. A beautiful one at that. A father Yoora herself had never been able to experience in her life, her son, their son, had it all. And she wasn’t envious. No. She was happy. She was glad. She was relieved. Yoora wasn’t certain what this strange feeling was, how and why she had begun to feel that way, but she had almost grasped the strings of them. Almost.

When Sung Gyu kissed his, their child on his soft wavy hair and pulled away, Yoora let out the breath she’d been holding for the whole time. Something snapped inside her, something imperceptible but had existed the whole time, holding back an emotion that she had been ever so reluctant to accept. An emotion, which now freely flowed into her mind. A soft voice echoed in her mind, a silly, juvenile desire was being whispered in her ear. ‘An ideal husband, he was’

Had she known this back then? When she first met him, saw herself through those delicate pair of gleaming eyes, found the lost pieces of her inside him and fell in love? Had she known it already that she would, one day, make mistakes, cause a rift so large between them but end up falling in love with him all over again?

Falling in love. Such a strange emotion to entertain. Was that what it really was then?

Yoora looked over at the two then, and realized that while she was deeply lost in her thoughts, her son had extricated himself from his father and joined the rest of his classmates. Without the child in his company, Sung Gyu suddenly looked different. The proud, fatherly stance had been replaced by fear and childlike innocence he always emitted, even back then. His eyes inflicted an emotion she had seen so many times and never failed to interpret. Sung Gyu was like a book of poetry, each and every second of his life inflicted in expressions mirrored on his face, giving an inkling to all his innermost emotions. It was strange that even after so many years had passed since their separation, Yoora could still read him like an open book.

Even now, she could read him clearly and quite well. The emotion she had known and understood all alone. The fear of loneliness, the fear of abandonment, the fear of being left alone. It was all in his eyes. And Yoora realized, just at that moment with a pang, that she probably didn’t want him to feel that fear anymore. She wanted to be the one wiping it away. She wanted to be the one replacing it with resilience, reliance and love. That’s the realization she was brought here for. The realization that she might still be in deep, with the man of her dreams, deep in love.

*

Eunji took one last look at her reflection on Sung Gyu’s bathroom mirror and made a face. She’s recently got her bangs fixed, since they were overgrown and fell into her eyes. With that she’s gotten a bit of dark brown highlights done in hopes that they wouldn’t go unnoticed, especially since the highlight went nicely with glitter in her hair. But it turned out that Sung Gyu wasn’t one to pay attention to smallest details. In fact, he hardly paid attention to any detail at all, especially when it came down to her. Eunji was beginning to get frustrated, mostly when the realization that she had fallen in love with a passionately ignorant, clueless person, but as always, all the nice and lovable things about him overpowered every other sour emotion, and she was in love all over again. It frustrated her even more so, especially when she recalled him from that morning; his unapparent concern, his friendly banter, his long gaze. It frustrated her even more so, to think that she was now getting ready for yet another blind date she’s been suddenly set on by her older sister a few hours ago, in the very same bathroom of the man she loved.

At least it was the bathroom; it was the only thought which kept her from weeping and crumbling into pieces then and there.

She wasn’t dressed so elegantly, something she learned after having gone on so many dates that most men only go for the looks and glamour which Eunji could choose to not to provide and cut the date short so that the second date wouldn’t happen. It was a good plan. A feasible one. After all, during the year she’s been with Sung Gyu, he has seen her the prettiest and then the worst with bad hair and stained aprons, even dead sick and retching in his son’s commode bow, and still he hadn’t chased her away. Though he didn’t exactly stand in a position where he’d return the feelings she had for him, Eunji realized, it was good enough. And for this reason, there was no man out there, other than him, that she desired to look good for. For this date, just jeans and a shirt was enough.

They were to meet at a restaurant which was coincidentally close to the private investigators agency that Sung Gyu and Woohyun worked at. It was an ironic coincidence, one that Eunji didn’t find to be very entertaining. She also had a slight hunch that his person she’d be meeting was someone who worked at the agency, and then it led her to have all sorts of crazy, unrealistic ideas that it might be, by an iota of chance, that it might even be Kim Sung Gyu. But Kim Sung Gyu was now like a marble statue when it came down to anything to do with love and relationships, stone cold, like they didn’t exist in his life any longer, like he had suddenly grown immune to emotions related to love. It’s been ages since he last went on a date or dated someone, and the previous occasions that he did date or almost dated, those that she had witnessed, had both ended with disaster. A new thought appeared in her mind then, and it horrified her. What if it was yet another psychic twist in his life, just like this premonition they were talking about? What if Sung Gyu was forever entitled to bad luck in his love life?

With a shiver running down her spine, Eunji shook her head rather vigorously. If he did have bad luck in love life, then it also meant she hadn’t a chance with him. It also meant that she might have a chance which then in turn implied that she was the bad luck which had happened to affect his love life. These kinds of thought were ominous. She shouldn’t spend a second entertaining them.

When she walked out into the hallway of the Kim residence, now well dressed and prepared for the next date, Sung Gyu’s parents were in the kitchen, speaking in hushed voices, his mother peeling vegetables and his father munching on sunflower seeds. They looked so comfortable in their company, the two of them, as if they were one person put separately in two entities. Eunji had often found them chatting between each other like this, sometimes sharing warm smiles and fond glances when nobody was watching. They were Sung Gyu’s parents, they were the people Sung Gyu had grown up watching and following the lead. It made her realize something. Sung Gyu wasn’t open to experience of a derailed family because he never came from one. He had loving, caring parents, he had a family which stuck together as one and parents who still loved him despite how old he had grown. In this sense, he wasn’t as exposed to fallbacks in life as much as she was. Eunji had her father dying on her, being left with a mother who hadn’t so much love to give. She’s had to move out from her hometown at such a young age and she herself had been through a lot in life. Comparing to her, Sung Gyu hadn’t had the sort of experience, hence his inability to pull through even the slightest of a downfall. In that sense, he really was a child.

“Oh, Eunji-ah” Sung Gyu’s mother suddenly called her from the direction of the kitchen, interrupting her train of thoughts and Eunji realized that in the absence of her mind, their hushed chatter had halted, and both the pair of eyes were focused on her. She also liked it, how they addressed her sans formalities as if they were truly accepting of her as a part of Sung Gyu’s life. Earlier, she was immensely intimidated by how they treated her. But now, things were different, and she had already warmed up to them, just like she had warmed up to Sung Gyu and the child to the point where she was beginning to consider them family.

“Yes, Mrs. Kim?” Eunji made her way towards the kitchen, and Sung Gyu’s mother gave her a quick once over with a slight frown. “Oh, were you going somewhere?”

Eunji perceptibly blushed, which she sure hoped the two parents wouldn’t catch. She nodded her head. “I was about to go out to meet a friend….” And for good measure to keep the good faith his parent had on her, she added. “Also, I’ve cleaned their bedrooms and everything. I’d be getting the grocery when coming back with Sung Jae”

Sung Gyu’s mother gave her a concerned look and shook her head. “Now, Eunji-ah; You do realize you’re not a housemaid. Sung Gyu thinks very highly of you and he definitely wouldn’t want you overworking yourself. Your only part here is being a friend for Sung jae and keep him in company”

“Ah, yes, Mrs. Kim” Eunji lowered her head, an embarrassed smile appeared as she tucked away a stray fringe of her hair. And that was the truth. Sung Gyu, in myriad occasions, has pointed it out to her that she needn’t run every errand in the house, and that it wasn’t what he was paying her for. He only needed someone to keep Sung Jae company in his absence, to play with him, look to his school work and make sure he didn’t feel the empty space of not having a mother, all of which she diligently fulfilled and Sung Gyu was satisfied with. But then, it was Sung Gyu she was working for, the man who held her heart. There was an unspoken obligation in her mind to take care of him as much as she took care of the child, to give him the same amount of affection that she was giving the boy, and so everything that she did for him didn’t come off to her as ‘running errands’ in her mind any longer, but doing a favor for someone who deserved it the most. She didn’t go ahead and tell his parents this, of course. She only relented to their request with a simple smile.

“Also, Eunji-ah, you don’t need to cut your meeting short for Sung Jae. Sung Gyu’s appa and I can pick him up. Since we’re here you can have the day off, if you’d like!” Sung Gyu’s mother went on cheerfully, and his father agreed with a quiet but acknowledging nod, Eunji began to grow flustered by all the attention they were giving her. Still, she wasn’t going to take this opportunity, and it didn’t even sound as tempting as they must have expected it to be for her. She rejected the offer in a whim with a quick shake of her head. Nothing was more precedent than the precious time spent with her favorite child.

“Oh no, Mrs. Kim, Mister Kim, it’s not that so important of a meeting, it wouldn’t take long. Thank you, regardless, I will pick up Sung Jae myself”

“Well, if that’s what you’d like” Sung Gyu’s mother smiled. “Okay then, I wouldn’t keep you long, you can’t be late for the meeting. Have a good time, Eunji-ah! See you at lunch!”

With a cordial goodbye from her part, Eunji soon fled the house, feeling her cheeks going warm in embarrassment. She wasn’t sure what she was expecting with Sung Gyu’s parents treating her so well as if she was a part of their own family. She couldn’t help but feel giddy and strange, as if she was already being accepted by Sung Gyu even though the man himself hadn’t so much as acknowledged her. She was relieved to have been able to escape the uncomfortable atmosphere, even if it was for a short while. What she didn’t know as she slipped into her car, however, was that she was just about to walk into an ambiance even stranger then before.

The drive in the late morning spring through the less-crowded Seoul city was pacifying. The sun was warm but not so bright, and the slow, gradual change of the surrounding from spring to the summer was beautiful. Almost every street was decorated with soft pink petals of cherry blossoms, some of it still descending from the heavily flowered trees. And the positive vibes the season emanated seemed to have embedded on the street dwellers just the same as they walked through the showers of petals with bright smiles. It was a beautiful day, a beautiful time to fall in love, even if it was unrequited.

Eunji arrived at the said destination a few minutes earlier than the designated time of the meeting. It was a simple restaurant, not so high end, beautiful regardless, with wooden floorboards and an interior, large glass panels overlooking the busy street and a very few people, mostly couples, dining jovially inside. Eunji was said to have a reservation under her sister’s name, thus she walked to the counter, asked for her name, and she was soon led to a corner table for two overlooking the street by a glass panel. A perfect spot for a first date, and she was still early. So, she ordered herself a glass of water and continued the rest of her painful wait.

Twenty minutes later, a waiter came to her and questioned her name. She responded quickly, anticipation prickling her skin in realization that her date has arrived. Despite hating the entire blind date ordeal, she did indeed enjoy the moment she was introduced to a whole new face, a whole new person she had never expected to meet. She liked that bit of the first meeting, getting to see someone, know someone, learn of their lives, their habits, their dreams. But after a while, if their lives hadn’t piqued her interest enough, Eunji would grow tired of them easily. For her, nobody will ever be as interesting as Kim Sung Gyu was. Nobody will ever be able to waiver her cold heart like he had. Regardless, for this date too, as always, she enthusiastically waited.

What happened next, however, was beyond her expectations. Eunji looked up as a man in a smart suit approached the table, still talking to the waiter who previously had spoken to her. The man stopped before her and did a double take, Eunji too, almost stood up as recognition hit her. Her jaw fell slack, eyes widened, yet she easily managed to recall that name, the name of a person she had heard so much of, not by just one person but two in her life.

“Y-you…. Eunji-Ssi?” Echoed the man in disbelief, and Eunji stood up with a smile. Despite the strange circumstances, Eunji felt like giggling hysterically. It indeed was beyond expectations.

“Howon-Ssi? Wow, it’s really you!”

Eunji and Howon, Howon and Eunji. As Howon slipped into the chair before her with a soft chuckle and a look of relief in his eyes as if he’d been tensed the whole time, dreading the meeting all along, Eunji thought to herself. She thought of how they could be a potential pair, looked up at Howon, and let out a bright smile. Howon smiled back, a brilliant smile, and she decided, it couldn’t be as bad as she’d thought at all.

*

“Come on, hyung, we hadn’t had a lunch out for ages!” Woohyun pestered him for the umpteenth time, moving about in his cramped cubicle space like he always had. Sung Gyu had arrived at work good forty-five minutes late, which earned him a splitting head ache and a scolding from his team leader who, by the way, was two years younger than him despite being a sunbae. On top of that he was assigned on some molestation case which had happened in some high end private mansion and they’ve been hired by some rich and influential business personals which obviously implied their intention was having their name cleared so it was exactly the kind of a case he didn’t want to be working on. And while he hid himself in his small cubicle, fretting about his work, Woohyun had decided it was the best time to slip in and bother him with his latest lunching plans as if they both had all the time in the world. The irritation he had right now was excruciating. He could murder someone out of rage if he had to. All that Sung Gyu needed right now was a break, to go home. But when he remembered he had to take the train again, his mood became even worse.

“We went out for drinks yesterday” Sung Gyu sighed, exasperated, as he flipped through the files of the latest case.

“Yeah right, and you were this moral fiber, party pooper, wet blanket person who only had some orange juice and called it a night” Woohyun returned bitterly.

“That’s because I was tired, okay? I have a child at home”

Woohyun perceptibly softened at this that he stopped pacing and came over to Sung Gyu, and he slid up on the only empty space left on Sung Gyu’s desk, just like in the old times.

“That’s exactly why you need a break, hyung” Woohyun told him mildly before he reached out and closed the file Sung Gyu was going through. Sung Gyu whipped his head up, ready to serve him with his wrath, but Woohyun looked down at him with a knowing look. “Let’s do lunch, have a nice chit chat, do with all that worries away, how about that?”

Sung Gyu scoffed at Woohyun’s corny tone. “Sounds like bull to me”

“I’ll pay” Woohyun pressed on, and it was only then that the offer sounded promising to him. Sung Gyu mulled it over for a moment and realized he wasn’t planning to have lunch anyway, yet he was starving, and tired. His head indeed need a break, and his parched throat needed something cool and refreshing. In the end, after having weighed all his possible options, he relented with a grunt. “Okay, where to?”

In the end, the two decided to go to this new fine-diner around the corner from their workplace, just a few blocks of a walk away. Sung Gyu nagged the whole walk across the street, reminding Woohyun on and on that he had had a rough morning that day and that he had walked enough to last a lifetime, but Woohyun wasn’t taking any of it, cheekily pointing out that Sung Gyu’s getting a beer belly and he didn’t forget to pat it, lest in the crowd, earning even more annoyed scolding from the other. After the short walk, the two arrived at what seemed to be a tranquil restaurant with wooden wall, floor and upholsters, glass panels and a quiet ambiance, a perfect place for a long, peaceful conversation. The two found themselves a secluded table for two people, sat down, and Sung Gyu launched into a long account on how his parents crashed into the house the previous night after he had returned home from their short-lived drinking session, just because she had a bad dream. Woohyun, of course, found it rather comical and laughed at the bits which he shouldn’t laugh at. Towards the end of the talk, however, Woohyun immediately grew serious, his face depicting an emotion similar to that of a concerned father.

“I am worried about you, Hyung” He said, clasping his hands together after a sip of water. “I did promise you to not tell your mum anything, but I had to break it because your parents had to know, simply because you needed more people around you, right now”

Sung Gyu sighed, a soft, appreciative smile on his lips. Indeed, it’s been a difficult time in his life, it still was, what with work and Yoora and the realization of Sung Jae growing up. There was a tiny bit of worry directed towards Eunji with a tad bit of an imperceptible emotion, huddled in a corner of his heart which he constantly refused to acknowledge. For an ordinary person, these worries would have been nothing, just the day to day mishaps which disappeared the very next day. But Sung Gyu was different. There were people like that, for whom lemons in life weren’t long lasting. But Sung Gyu wasn’t one of them. He would have broken down, crumbled into pieces, never gotten back up again. But because of Woohyun, Eunji and their constant care, Sung Gyu’s been holding up quite well so far. “Thanks, Woohyunnie, I wouldn’t have lasted long without you”

“Don’t say that, hyung. You’re a lot stronger than that, you raised a child on your own” Woohyun chided, and Sung Gyu only shrugged in response. “I guess” He really was exhausted and on the brink of falling off the edge, and he wasn’t so sure how he must have pulled through everything back then. Nor could he remember, like the past was now a long-gone dream.

The conversation was brought to a halt when a waitress came to take their order. Both of them ordered expensive beef steak, Sung Gyu feeling completely nonchalant about an expensive meal since it was all on his kind and caring best friend. Woohyun also ordered themselves a branded bottle of vine as if they had a special occasion to drink on. While the waitress and Woohyun discussed the brands of Wine, Sung Gyu let his gaze wander around, glancing at the fellow diners with a careless gaze. But then, his eyes caught something strange but something weirdly familiar. It was someone, to be precise. The new silky, showy brown highlights were quite difficult to go unnoticed, and Sung Gyu widened his eyes in recognition. It was Eunji. Eunji who had, without informing him, left his house during working hours and seemed to be in yet another one of her dates. What was more was that he was sitting with another person, a man whose back he could see, and something strangely familiar about him piqued his curiosity. That hair, that stance, that posture. Sung Gyu was certain he had seen him somewhere…

“So Hyung” Woohyun spoke, suddenly, and Sung Gyu immediately ripped his gaze from watching his baby sitter. Sung Gyu didn’t go into questioning about it, of course, since he deemed that whatever Eunji did in her own time was none of his business. He simply set the matter aside for the time being and imposed his complete focus on his best friend. “Hm?”

“Did I tell you?” There was a slightly misleading look in his eyes when Woohyun spoke, yet it was something Sung Gyu couldn’t exactly grasp. “Eunmi Noona, Hyung and I were planning to find Eunji a suitable marriage partner”

Sung Gyu felt his heart lose its pace for a second, and something painful started to course through his veins. Sung Gyu’s eyes immediately averted to the direction of the girl seated a couple of tables away, laughing cheerfully at something her date has said. The afternoon sun was seeping through the glass panel beside her, enveloping her in an ethereal glow, the dark brown streaks in her hair began to shine in a caramel blaze. Sung Gyu gulped tightly, his mind going haywire upon these imperceptible thoughts looming in his mind. Eunji was going to get married. That’s what all of these blind dates were about, because they were looking for a suitable partner for her. A husband. That thought left a strange, sour taste in his throat though he hardly said it out loud. He realized, just at the same time that Eunji getting married also meant that she would be leaving soon, stop working for them. What’s even worse was that it was just as necessary that she stopped working for them and start doing an actual job which served her education a justice. Sung Gyu despised entertaining such thoughts, but he had to acknowledge the fact that the time when he had to let her go was nearing, and the time that they had together was increasingly getting less.

“…several blind dates but she didn’t fancy any of them, honestly, finding her a husband is like find a nail in a haystack” Woohyun was saying as he picked on a bread roll from the basket a waitress had delivered a moment ago. Sung Gyu was hardly paying attention, nonetheless. He was busy trying to figure out who this secretive person with a familiar stance could be, the person who might possibly snatch his baby sitter away.

“Hyung?” Woohyun called all of a sudden, and Sung Gyu quickly snapped back, realizing that he had been too carried away with stalking on Eunji’s date. “Huh?”

Woohyun pouted like a child, upset that Sung Gyu’s attention had waned away from him. “Hyung, you’re hardly listening to me”

“Ah, sorry” Sung Gyu turned back to his best friend completely after one last glance at Eunji and her mysterious date. “I was a bit distracted for a moment. You were saying?”

Woohyun shrugged and put down the bread roll he was ripping off. “No…it’s just that…hyung, I was thinking…. maybe you should consider marriage now. Maybe it’s time that you do”

Sung Gyu’s attention perked up at that. This whole time, the only ones who’s been trying to push marriage on him were his parents, and everyone else basically let him do as he pleased. Woohyun too, never mentioned marriage, never tried to set him up with all the many lady friends he had attracted in his tantalizing ways. And now that he was suddenly bringing it up, Sung Gyu was curious as to why it suddenly occurred to him.

“What made you think of that?” Sung Gyu asked, his brows raised in question.

“Well, I don’t know...I thought it might put an end to a lot of problems”

“Like what?” Sung Gyu pushed on, and Woohyun met his eyes, a firm look of determination swirling in them, “You know what…” he sighed then, and reached for the bread roll once more. “The thing is hyung, everyone’s getting to their thirties now. Eunji’s going to be marrying soon, and I…”

Sung Gyu’s eyes widened in shock as he leaned towards him over the table, “Woohyun-ah, you’re getting married?”

Woohyun pursed his lips, parted them a few times, and finally let out a sigh. “Well, Bomi and I have been together for a long time and I just thought…” He sighed again. “Anyway, not until Eunji is settled. She’s part of my responsibility”

Sung Gyu went silent at that, the pain in his chest growing with every one of his heart beats. A strange feeling it was. Never had he felt so possessive of something, or someone which had never been his in the first place. But Eunji was different. She was someone so dear to him that he couldn’t bring himself to let go of her, not even if it was something so important and personal in her part as marriage. He had often found himself thinking, especially ever since Eunji stopped inviting herself over at his house on weekends, holidays and whenever she pleased, what his life would be like without her. Eunji has been around him for way too long that she had easily blended in to the picture of his life, and now she was a big part of it, someone who held such a significant presence among the very little number of people surrounded him. And with a pang, he had realized, that he could hardly imagine his life without her. And now, the time of him really having to deal with her absence from his life was nearing. It was the time to let go. Sung Gyu in took a long breath and let his eyes linger on her across the restaurant. A cruel coincidence, it was, that they both ended up at the same restaurant at the same time, sitting in the either corners with two different people on two completely different kinds of lunch dates. It just proved. Eunji was in a totally different lever than he was. She was unreachable. And Sung Gyu wasn’t quite sure why he felt that way, why the sight of her with someone did actually hurt.

“Hyung” Woohyun’s voice awakened him again from his day time reverie, and now, Woohyun’s serious expression was replaced with a concerned stance. “Why are you so distracted lately? Is there something bothering you?”

“No” he shook his head, though inside, his heart was slowly crumbling into pieces for an unfathomable reason. He didn’t divulge in it to Woohyun, of course, because Sung Gyu wasn’t sure what it meant, himself. “There’s nothing like that. I’m just tired”

“Did Yoora try to do something outrageous again?”

Sung Gyu shook his head. It’s been weeks since Yoora last did anything preposterous since that time on Sung Jae’s birthday which has been almost a month ago. She’s disappeared since, just like she did eight years ago, not a trace of her left behind. And following the recent events with regards to her, Sung Gyu had come to realize that her silence, her disappearance was the most dangerous of all. She was like a feline, hiding away in the dark, waiting for the perfect moment to pounce at its pray when it was the weakest and the most vulnerable, and a prolonged period of her silence only meant that she had something big planned up her sleeve. Sung Gyu dreaded the time she would finally show herself again. It’s added up to his frustrations even more.

“Well, no” Sung Gyu sighed, deciding against telling him about what Yoora’s silence really meant. Because he could even be wrong. It’s been a little over a month now and he hadn’t even gotten a phone call from her. It could even mean that she was finally losing her grip on him. “She’s been missing and everything” Sung Gyu shook his head. “I guess I’m just tired”

“That’s why you should get married, Hyung” Woohyun pointed out gravely. “Who knows? Maybe it’s a Pretty, cute wife who would bring some shine into your life!”

Sung Gyu snorted, but his eyes unconsciously turned to the girl. It was unfortunate, that he was having to see her this way. It was better when it was all behind the scenes, her life. And the fact that her eyes have caught the light coming from the glass pane and made them glow like constellations made his heart pain even more.

Once their meals arrived, the two were mostly quiet, filling their faces ravenously and leaving very little space for conversation. A few words were exchanged, about the vine, about work, but the silence between them ended once the plates were void of food except for the oil stains and Woohyun launched into the conversation with the most bizarre question of all.

“Sung Gyu hyung, what do you think of Eunji?”

Sung Gyu was having a sip of wine at that time, and startled by the question, he almost chocked on it. Perhaps he did. “Why do you ask me that?” Sung Gyu spluttered in a hoarse voice. Just a moment ago, he was staring at her smiling and laughing and living her life…with a date. And being asked such a question right after felt nothing but out of the ordinary.

“Because you spend more time with me than I ever do” Woohyun simply replied.

“But you live in the same house” Sung Gyu returned.

“Well yeah, but it’s a huge mansion, hyung, you can’t expect us to be sitting around the table having tea and doing nice chit chats, we’re almost always in our rooms”

And it was the truth. After Woohyun’s parents passed, the two boys never moved out from their family home, as a tribute to their late parents and their hard work spent on building this house and their business empire from the scratch. Woohyun wasn’t your average young man. Despite his occupation, he came from a family who formerly owned a large Business venture, one that’s been prominent in the industry for so long. His parents owned a construction firm, one which was responsible for a number of large scale construction deals; apartments, hotels and so on. Regardless, none of the sons were forced to take over the business after them. Woohyun’s parents had been like that. The moment their father fell ill, he sold off the company for millions, and with the money they have already saved up, having raised a pair of diligent, hardworking sons, they were already millionaires who might not need to work for so many years to come, and that allowed both Woohyun and his brother to do a job that they pleased. However, lots of things changed after their parents passed; not from his father’s sickness but a car crash. Even with a heap of money to spare, the happiness was leached out of their home, burnt away with the caskets of their parents when cremated. Happiness only returned to their large mansion home once Eunmi and Woohyun got married, and with Eunji and the baby joining them, the family was again complete.

“So, what do you think?” Woohyun pressed on. And Sung Gyu was confused. Why did his opinion on Eunji matter anyway? He was only her employer.

“I don’t know” Sung Gyu shrugged, stopping himself with so much of effort from not sparing a glance at her. He took a sip of his vine. “She’s nice, I guess”

“And…?”

Sung Gyu looked up and met Woohyun’s eyes, who was giving him an expectant look, as if his opinion on Eunji was one which really, really, mattered.

“I said I don’t know” Sung Gyu replied, exasperated. “Why does it matter anyway?”

Woohyun smiled, it was a strange one, and as he leaned forwards and rested his elbows on the table, he said, “She’s very fond of you, Hyung”

Sung Gyu halted, the pain in his chest did too. He put down the wine glass in his hand and tried to sound as unaffected as possible, simultaneously trying his best to not look at the subject herself. Then he snorted. Well, of course she’d be fond of him. “That’s because I pay her better and because I’m a good employee” Sung Gyu said pompously. Woohyun stared back at him the corner of his lips twitching, and finally, he took a sip of vine and shook his head. “Oh, you have no idea”’

Sung Gyu smiled back, raised his glass, and proceeded to take a sip. Unconscious to him, his eyes reverted to the familiar spot that he’s been looking at for so long. Then he halted, his hand gripped the glass tighter before he slammed it back onto the table in shock. He had chocked on his beverage for a second time on the day, and it was for a different reason, a reason he hadn’t expected at all.

“What the ?” Sung Gyu mumbled, his hand clenched on the table before him, eyes still focused across the hall.

“Hm?” Woohyun looked up and noticed Sung Gyu looking ahead, thus he followed the direction of his gaze, and made a loud sound of surprise on his own. “What the actual , are they on a date?”

“Did you…” Sung Gyu croaked and turned to face the other. “Did you set her a blind date with him?”

“No , it must have been Eunmi. She’s been telling something about some retired teacher’s son…” Woohyun turned away from the pain on a date, sunk low on his seat as if afraid they’d catch the sight of him. “Hyung…” he hissed under his breath. “You knew she was there the whole time and didn’t even tell me?”

Sung Gyu, of course, paid no heed to his overreacting friend. He was deep in thought, eyes still focused on the two of them, knowing perfectly well that they were safely tucked away from their eyes, all because Eunji wasn’t once taking her eyes off him, and it pained. A retired teacher’s son. That made sense, because that’s exactly what he could have been, a retired teacher’s son, if the retired teacher was a little upset in her mind with a severe empty nest syndrome and a son complex. Sung Gyu stared at the man in disbelief, the pain in his heart growing stronger. That confident stance, that straight posture, just that back…why did he not see that before?

Because he hadn’t thought. Of course, he hadn’t even imagined. How could he? How could he ever imagine that his beloved baby sitter would end up on a date and possibly get snatched away from him by his young, stern and strict team leader?

Who was now laughing and chattering away like he’s left the real him behind at home. Woohyun turned around and looked up at Sung Gyu in a strange gaze. “Well ” He said with a sigh. “That escalated way too fast”

Sung Gyu only nodded in response. He couldn’t agree more.

*

The café was devoid of its usual patrons so early in the morning, aside from just a few of them scattered around, occupying a few tables; some with their noses deep in their books, some in long hushed conversations, some lost in their own worlds with their mugs of coffee running cold before them. Yoora looked around herself surreptitiously, worried if there were any prying eyes even though the place was practically empty. Today, she was swimming in the dangerous waters. Today, she was there to take the risk she’d been putting behind herself for too long. And she didn’t want anyone there to be interrupting them.

With both her cold hands, Yoora cupped the mug of coffee, trying to absorb the warmth emanating from them and sooth her mildly anxious mind. Yoora’s done all sorts of crazy, outrageous things before. She was one for adventure, one for taking perils. Being an artist, she’s manipulated enough people only with her strong, convincing gaze and a couple of soft spoken words. But as it happens, this, today, would be the first time she would put herself on the line as well as someone else to achieve something so farfetched, unreachable, so much so that her confidence was fading slowly. The chances of her succeeding without getting caught were exceedingly low, and she did acknowledge it that it all depended on to what extent this person could be manipulated with her words. And for that, she had to play her role right. She had to do her part in the most impeccable, resounding manner as possible. And that made her nervous a lot more than she’s ever been when she’s done the most dangerous things in her life. In her mind, right now, what she was about to do was the most treacherous.

Ten minutes. It took ten minutes for the person she was meeting, to arrive at the café. When the doorbell tingled, and hurried footsteps sounded behind her, Yoora quickly assumed her character. She has even dressed to match today. Just a simple white blouse, a skirt, her dark hair messily done and a slight touch of make-up, dark circles forming under her eyes left visible. Yoora would have been fooled herself. She indeed looked like someone who’s been imperiled to injustice all her life. And right now, Yoora curved her lips into a tight-lipped smile, her blinking was made slower as if she’s been missing her sleep to endless crying for continuous nights. It was all perfect.

“Im Yoora?” Called a soft voice from behind her, and Yoora quickly whipped around, feeling her heart beat in anticipation. The woman who stood there looked as if she’s run a mile. Her short, bobbed hair stuck out in every direction, her purse clutched tightly in her bony hands, panting. But she was here, and it was enough. “Miss Choi” Yoora stood up and gave the other a deep bow. Miss Choi nodded in return, rounded the table and slid into the chair before the other. She peered into her face with a worried look. “Yoora-Ssi, did I keep you waiting for too long? I’m sorry, it’s the kids’ lunch hour and they tend to get a bit out of hand…”

“Oh no it’s fine, I just arrived, myself” Yoora lied with a small laughter, her tight-lipped smile soon returned to her face. “You must get back soon, so I won’t take too long”

“Okay” Miss Choi nodded in response. “What is it you said that you wanted to talk about?”

Yoora took up her role, playing it with all her heart. Not it was the time, the real performance. Her face fell, her eyes did the slow, painful batting of eye lids as if she was fighting her tears back, lips curved into a small, sad smile. “Miss Choi…I…It’s-it’s about my son…” She trailed off, took a deep breath and looked up to meet the confused eyes of the other. “I’m Kim Sung jae’s biological mother”

Just as she assumed, Miss Choi’s face paled as she looked at the other even closely, observed her and tried to find even a trace of him on her. It shouldn’t be too hard, because no matter how much little Sung Jae resembled his father, there was still a bit of her appearance left on him which could easily link him to her.

“Oh…Oh…” The teacher finally spoke, shaking her head in disbelief. “My…all this time I thought his mother had passed”

“Passed?” Yoora echoed, feeling tightening. “Did he…did he tell you that?”

“Oh no,” Miss Choi quickly shook her head. “They never said anything, never talked about a mother, so I had just…assumed…” Miss Choi looked at Yoora even closely, and stared at her for long as if trying to absorb the sight of her so that she could later attach it to the child. “Sung Jae and his father has always been a mysterious pair…so everyone at school just thought…”

“Well, I can assume as much” Yoora interjected, finally launching into her character. This was it. The time for her to play the real game. She pulled out a voice which sounded almost tearful, and with her eyes focused on her lap, she distractedly fiddled with her bag. “Sung Gyu-Ssi wouldn’t say anything. He’d rather live like I didn’t exist. Ever since he…” Yoora pursed her lips and looked out the glass beside her. She was playing an innocent man dirty. But anything to pull her strings right. Anything.

“Oh…” The teacher’s face fell just the same. “I’m sorry, Miss Im, we shouldn’t have assumed…”

“No, it’s okay” Yoora quickly dismissed with a smile. “By the way he acts, anyone would have assumed so. That’s how he’s like…”

Yoora had thought the teacher will going into questioning more of their past, and so Yoora had prepared for that as well, a rather convincing story of how Sung Gyu had abandoned her for another woman, namely Eunji, the baby sitter, but much to her relief, the teacher simply launched into the important question.

“Yoora-Ssi…is there anything I can help with? Anything I can do? That must be the reason you requested to meet me…”

Yoora nodded her head. “Well, the truth is, ever since he and I parted ways, Sung Gyu-Ssi refused to let me meet my son, not even once. He is madly possessive of him, even if I’m his birth mother. I guess he just doesn’t want Sung Jae to see me and get attached to me. The child always picks his real mother over a new one, right? I guess he’s just afraid it would affect his…” Yoora gulped hard. “…New family”

The teacher’s eyes widened even further, realization dawning upon her, and an angry look soon took over. “You mean that lady? The one he calls the baby sitter of Sung Jae?”

Yoora nodded. “She is the baby sitter…I mean, she was. And then the affair…” Yoora sobbed softly in exaggeration, and it tricked the old lady quite well.

“Oh dear…so he doesn’t let you see him at all? After he was the one who cheated on you with the baby sitter?”

Yoora nodded without a word.

“Good gracious! how cruel of him! In fact, I have always thought that man was rather deceitful. He looks like a weak person, but those are the nastiest, I tell you!”

Calling Sung Gyu something so insolent truly stung her. She hated it that her play was damaging someone who indeed had not a single bad bone in him. Sung Gyu was as innocent as a child in this entire ordeal. The only reason why he didn’t let her see the child was because he was afraid to be abandoned again, and Yoora knew this. But she wanted to meet Sung Jae. She had to. And it was for more reasons than one, reasons which she wouldn’t divulge in just yet. So, she was ready to slander someone as innocent as Sung Gyu to play her cards right, if it was necessary.

Yoora didn’t say a word in response but just nodded, afraid to add more hay to the fire. Sung Gyu didn’t deserve this, and she knew it too well. He did nothing wrong to deserve it and the bad person here was her. But she had to. She really, truly had to. She had her own true reasons to be doing this.

“So how exactly can I help, Yoora-Ssi? I will help you in whatever you need to be done, to get back at that terrible man…” Miss Choi spat menacingly. “How can I help you?”

Yoora sighed, lifted her head, and met the teacher’s eyes. “Miss Choi…I want you to help me meet my child”

Miss Choi looked up at Yoora rather empathically, reached over and placed her hand on hers. “Yoora-Ssi. Anything for a mother…consider it done”

Author's note.

Hi! i know you hate my rambling at the end of every chapter, but i figured writing a story is not only always about writing it but communication. Anyway, this chapter got late to come up for a few reasons. I know. And I hate giving excuses. But this is kind of important. I got sick, and if my negligence continued this chapter never would have come up and I would be six feet down below the earth, lol. So there's the epidemic going strong here, Dengue, if you have heard, and I got it as well. But I had too many college deadlines and writing and stuff so I didn't care about being sick and worked, but see, apparently working while sick is what kills people in this sickness. One of our fellow university students passed away since she ignored and well, worked. I did too, until some mysterious red spots appeared and only then my parents took me to the hospital under my greates protest. It turned out i had reached the verge of the third and the final stage of Dengue. I had a slightly damaged and bleeding lever and internal bleeding ov veins (Hence the spots) low blood pressure and stuff so I was stuck in hospital for a week, not allowed to move. And another five days rest at home in bed, because moving kills. that includes reading, writing, studying, so that's why it took long. It's terrible. I lost so much weight that my bones are all protruding. Anyway, if not for my parents, honestly, I'd really be six feet under. We're in a terrible age where we don't realize what's more important, what to priotirize in life, and without parents'/guardians' guidance, I don't think we'd ever end up anywhere. Also, I just want to tell you, don't ignore when you fall sick. Don't neglect it. it's really this small, fragile thing. those two messages are passed in this chapter as well.

Anyway, I'm healthy and back now so you don't need to worry. but keep in mind to take good care of yourself. don't make the same mistake as me. Sorry for he long ramble, hope you enjoyed. Wait up for the next part (and tissues) I'll be back soon.

Loads and loads of love,

Achini