Not proofread.

Eunji could still remember that day, the day her father was last brought to the surgical room, the day she last sat outside, not knowing what could possibly happen behind that closed door the next instant, holding onto the last strings of hope while uncertainty still loomed around her. She was terrified at that time, even though her father was warmly smiling, as always, as he lied in the trolley and pulled through the parted doors. Eunji didn’t think, back then, that the last time he smiled at her would haunt her like that forever. Her father had a beautiful smile. Warm, kind, reassuring. Much like the existence of himself. In his arms, in his embrace, knowing that he was always there for her had constantly given her the that sense of security, the freedom to go on without fear, knowing that he was always there, behind her to catch her before she’d fall. That night, when she learned that it was the last time that she’d ever see him smile, Eunji realized, that the freedom, the strength, the sanctuary she had always had would disappear forever, leaving her in this big, endless world full of uncertainty, all one her own. For this reason, she hated hospitals. For this reason, she hated ever coming to one. The past memories, the scars they’ve left would renew every time she was forced to recall upon stepping into one. She hated the dizzying stench of plastic and surgical spirit; it always reminded her of how uncertain life would be in this particular place than any other. She hated the somber looks on their faces; not happy, nor sad, a sign of fear in their eyes. She hated the sense that they gave people’s tears; was it happiness? Was it sadness? She could never tell. And worse of all, she hated waiting.

But it was waiting that she’s been doing for the past four hours; huddled in her quilt, her skin scarred at all odd and even places, eyes reddened in tears. She hated that feeling of ambiguity that waiting always seemed to give, especially at places like this. What was she even waiting for? She hated that nothing gave her the answers. It’s been four hours since the crash happened, since her car twirled across the asphalt of the expressway, since she saw her entire life flashing before her eyes. She had thought she was dead at that time, but she had survived, miraculously, with only a few deep gashes and scratches on her skin, nothing more.

But Sung Gyu. She remembered his cries of pain from that fateful moment, and the helpless fear, yet again, began to gnaw at every bit of her consciousness. She hated not knowing what pained him, where it hurt him, she hated it that she was unable to do anything to sooth his fears. When he slowly eased into unconsciousness, unable to keep himself from falling over the edge, Eunji had held his hand through it, their skin sticky with blood, the warmth emanating through every single pore, his fingers gradually losing life and slipping away from hers no matter how hard she grasped onto him. All she knew was that he was unconscious, even as she held him, crying, wailing, hoping things would be alright. Even as help arrived and took them away from the devastation they were in. Even now…

Eunji’s gotten the kind nurse who was tending to her to tell her everything about Sung Gyu’s progress. She’s been helpful throughout, asking around about his well-being from the moment she was given the task, and Eunji was eternally grateful. As of now, Sung Gyu was still unconscious, and his injuries hadn’t been so bad. Except for one particularly deep gash on his left foot, there wasn’t anything that they should fear for. He was stable, yet due to increased loss of blood owing to his condition of anemia, he was still unable to regain his consciousness even after the required blood transfusion was given. It’s been four hours still, so Eunji’s been told that it wasn’t anything she should worry about, and that he was only taking the his much-needed rest. But Eunji being Eunji was still unable to keep her worries at bay. She’d been straining to see him for hours since she last did. Regardless, due to her shock which has still not entirely worn off and her injuries, she’s been advised to stay in bed for the time being.

And as for Sung Jae, he was currently under his own mother’s care, who acted immediately upon hearing of the accident and sent them help but was considerate enough to not to worry Sung Jae too much but keep him in company for the time being. She’s called Eunji previously to inform her that Sung Jae was safely with her in her own home, sound asleep, and that she would bring him over as soon as Sung Gyu would wake up. Eunji had trusted her for that, but she still wasn’t certain if it was the right choice to make. Meanwhile, Eunji gathered all her courage to talk to Sung Gyu’s parents and tell them everything. His mother hadn’t taken it well, to say the least. It was fortunate that his father wasn’t one to panic and he’d been able to keep things under control the whole time, but the moment they arrived at the hospital, Eunji found herself enfolded in his mother’s embrace crying yet again into her motherly warmth. She had thought the whole blame of not taking care of Sung Gyu despite her feared premonition would be put on her, but as it happened, Sung Gyu’s mother had thought of everything rather differently; and in a way it was a comfort for her. The blame, however, was entirely put on Yoora, about whom it was inevitable for her not to disclose upon being asked about Sung Jae’s whereabouts. Eunji had had to tell them everything. And at that very moment, she felt as if a great weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

Later that day, since her sister and Woohyun left her after their extended hours of visit, Eunji was worn out to the point that she immediately fell asleep, even while the nurse was busily taking her vitals. She had a vague memory of her following as per the nurse would say, but soon she was easing into a state of bare consciousness, and with the initial shock still to wear off, the moment of that fateful collision immediately began to run in her mind. The lorries carrying massive loads of logs, the speed of their car, the unreadable look in his eyes as the pace slowly went down a notch for a reason she couldn’t fathom. It was her who saw the approaching vehicle before them, the impending collision, but as Sung Gyu did finally realized what was about to happen, he was far too gone to take control of the vehicle which had gone beyond him. Nonetheless, it was in her memories of the crash that Eunji finally perceived one important fact that she had failed to grasp earlier on during the crash. And that was that’s Sung Gyu, despite everything, had managed to keep her life out of harm’s way.

Naturally in the beginning, Sung Gyu did take an impulsive turn to the opposite direction from him, which basically meant that they would have driven head on to the railing of the expressway, putting Eunji’s life in danger. But as soon as he did take that turn, he managed to yet again drive on to the left, heading straight against the lorry once more, this time saving her at his expense. Eunji realized then, with a pang that the reason why Sung Gyu now lied unconscious in bed was nothing else but her. And that pulled her awake right out of her deep sleep.

She was convulsing, her skin damp in cold sweat as she searched in the dark for someone, anyone who could stop her world from shaking around her. The room was dark, still; with nobody in sight. Eunmi had left her, Woohyun had left her, and the only reassurance she had was now lying in bed, dead to the world, all because of her. Eunji felt like her whole world was about to break apart. With her trembling hand, she reached over and pressed the alarm asking for her nurse. She couldn’t pull through this moment of shock on her own. She wanted answers. She wanted someone to assure her that it wasn’t right, what she realized just now was unreal, and that Eunji was now very much alive not at the expense of the life of the man she loved. The nurse arrived five minutes later, the same one who’s taken care of her the entire time.

“Miss Jung? Is everything alright?” Namjoo, the kind nurse of hers asked her, concern embedded in her tone as well as emanating from her widened doe eyes. Eunji did not entirely look in her best shape at that moment, regardless, and the nurse was soon checking on her IV drips and preparing her for another check on blood pressure.

“Namjoo-Ssi” Eunji muttered, her voice soft and barely audible as Namjoo hurriedly wrapped the device on her arm. “Namjoo-Ssi, do you know anything about the accident? If…if he tried to…I mean…if he-,”

“Tried to save you?” Namjoo provided, not once ripping her concentration from the blood pressure meter. “Yeah…in fact, that was the talk of the day among the nurses, since the police arrived with the reports and all. He’d indeed taken an unusual turn, and the police suspects he was trying to protect the passenger’s side”

“Oh” was all Eunji could manage before she felt begin to constrict. She fell slump against her pillows, unable to gather her bearings from where they have scattered all over. Sung Gyu had indeed tried to save her, the passenger of that time. He had indeed voluntarily put his life into danger….all for her. But then, a part of her didn’t want to believe so, because Sung Gyu was Sung gyu, the father of a child who almost always rode shot gun with him, and it could have been instinctual; that he had naturally taken that turn to the left so that he would protect the side of the passenger despite all the damage directed on him. Another part of her, however, wanted to hold onto that tiny, jarred string of her heart which connected them still, and believe that maybe, just maybe, she was important enough for him to put his own life on line for her. And that was the thought she held onto, that night, even as she slowly drifted off to sleep.

The next morning, she was awakened by a soft sound of shuffling about in her room, and upon fluttering her eyes open to the brilliant late spring sunlight, she could vaguely gather the silhouette of a man standing by the blinds, pulling them close. It didn’t take much for her to recognize that familiar shape, and an unrecognized sense of warmth slowly settled inside her.

“Howon-Ssi” Eunji’s voice was solely an embarrassing croak as she spoke, but it immediately caught the attention of the other who soon approached her, his usual warm smile on his lips.

Since their meeting few days ago on a blind date, Howon and Eunji had bonded over time, coming to a quiet mutual agreement that they were both comfortable in the presence of one another. Howon probably liked her, though his actions didn’t say much, and Eunji liked him too, more like a second option or a rebound, but she hoped, if things played out differently, that that would work out well. For now, they weren’t exactly certain of who and what they were for each other. For the time being, Howon and Eunji were seeing each other, an acquaintanceship which went way beyond being friends but haven’t really reached the extents of a romantic relationship. For now, for her, it was enough.

Howon eased into the chair beside her and handed her a bottle of water with a straw as she asked for. For a moment, he was just watching her, allowing the quietness to surround them, and by the corner of her eyes, she could see that warm gaze of his directed on her, and it would be a lie to say that her heart didn’t flutter incessantly at his warm gesture. Seeing him so early in that morning was surprising enough, and it was also quite heart fluttering. It was strange, how Howon too had that effect on her.

“How are you?” He asked her as she finally put the bottle away, and Eunji took it a moment to slowly sit up on bed, careful not to put pressure on her hand which was still attached to the IV drip.

“Been better” She sighed and gazed up at him, a small smile forming on her lips. “I didn’t think you would come”

Howon nodded slowly and concentrated on rearranging her quilt; he’s always been an awkward one when it came down to admitting things. “Well…I thought you’d appreciate it”

“I do” Eunji replied sincerely. “I am so glad to see you…so early in the morning, even…”

“You probably didn’t expect me” Howon smiled.

“You’re right, I guess I didn’t”

They were quiet for a moment, her deep in contemplation; about him, about her, about Sung Gyu, about lots of things which now didn’t make sense in her life. She lifted her gaze only to see Howon staring back at her, and he looked as if he had so much to say but couldn’t figure out where to begin. So Eunji set incentives for the conversation. She wasn’t sure what exactly she felt about him, but for Howon, she was definitely important enough to be by her side, above everything, and so he deserved it.

“How have you been, Howon-Ssi? Things okay at work?” It was a generic question, nonetheless, but Howon responded to her, just the same.

“They’re alright…only except hyung left Dong Woo with a difficult case and…”

At the mention of Sung Gyu, Eunji felt constrict once more. She felt it was unfair, at times, that even when she was with Howon, the one person she should truly be with, her mind almost always went back to him. Howon probably knew this too. She probably reflected it all in her eyes; but he was understanding enough to not broach the subject unless really necessary. As it seemed to her, he was hell-bent on changing the course of her heart, and Eunji too, sometimes sincerely wished he would succeed, for, loving Sung Gyu, it pained so much.

Eunji gulped hard before she asked him; “Did you see him yet?”

Howon nodded stiffly. “To be honest, he’s the first one I visited today”

At a response of the sort, Eunji should have felt something along the line of…jealousy. It was strange…but a peculiar sense of warmth had settled in her heart.

“How is he?” She asked him, and Howon finally looked up to meet her eyes. “He’s still asleep…It’s been a difficult time for him, I guess…”

Eunji pursed her lips and nodded. In fact, she had more to say. She wanted to divulge him about everything that Sung Gyu’s pulled through during the past few weeks. What with Yoora’s return, Sung Gyu’s been trying everything within his capability to keep her away from interfering his rather peaceful life. And along with the heap of work he had, the derailed relationship with his sister and the need to stand strong through it all. Sung Gyu truly had so much on his plate to deal with, and lying sick on bed, unconscious was the last thing he needed…yet there he was, all because of her.

He was quietly contemplating for a moment, his thumbs fiddling with one another, a gesture she had often seen in the usually composed Lee Howon, a gesture she identified as something he did to overcome a plethora of emotions that he had. After a moment, he awakened his voice. “Eunji-Ssi…did you hear from the police reports that Sung Gyu did actually-,”

“Try to protect the passenger’s side…” Eunji supplied in a whisper, and Howon nodded. “Yeah” She replied. “I heard…”

A moment of silence yet again, and Howon began to pull at his fingertips as if the mere act itself would provide him the answers. Yet, upon gathering his composure, he asked, slow on his words; “Do you think that means anything, Eunji?”

“Means anything?” Eunji blinked, even though she had asked that question from herself a couple of times already. Did that indeed mean anything? Or was it all coming down to his instincts? Rather than trying to fathom the answers herself, Eunji realized, she’d hear it from Howon, who was much more attentive than she’d ever be.

“Yeah…like, I mean...if he actually might-,”

Before Howon could get his opinion through, however, there was a knock on the door to her room, and it opened on its own accord before Eunji could even say anything. Namjoo stuck her head in, there was a warm smile on her lips, her eyes glimmered like morning stars, and Eunji felt hope arising within her.

“Eunji-Ssi” She called, that smile on her lips not wavering once. “I’ve got good news for you, today”

“Yeah?” Eunji whispered, her voice so small and hopeful than she intended to.

“Sung Gyu-Ssi is awake”

*

Brilliant white light. That’s the first thing he saw through his barely opened eyes, almost blinding him and he thought, naturally, that he had died. But then he could feel things. He could feel that pounding pain in his head, the dryness of his throat, numbing ache in every inch of his limbs, the sting on his skin which followed every movement he made. He hadn’t ever experienced being dead before; but Sung Gyu was pretty sure feeling things, physically, on his body wasn’t something that death had to offer. He willed himself to finally open his narrowed eyes wider, and due to long hours of having been closed, it took him a moment to adjust his vision to the light which was still attacking him. The sight was blurry, the sounds around him were muffled, what he could perceive at that moment were vague fragments of his surrounding, things which hardly made sense to him. He could assume things, nonetheless. It appeared that that particular ability did not wane off as one’s senses would. And as far as he could assume at that moment through his still hazy mind, Sung Gyu was in a hospital bed. And if anything, he was all alone.

He couldn’t move from his original position, still. His body felt so heavy and it was still beyond his control, as if he had suddenly been deprived of it. He attempted to lift his arms, but they were both bound to bed. One had something attached to his index finger, the other had a cannula connecting him to a continuous IV supply. He tried to lift his feet then, but they were undeniably heavy…and not his. It was probably only how he felt it, but it scared him just the same. His back wouldn’t corporate, and every movement he made would only give him a staggering pain in return. All he could move at that moment were his eyes, and his mouth. He looked around the room, trying to perceive his surrounding, and made note of where everything was. It was early in the morning. He could say by the intensity of the sunlight. The windows were open, letting it filter in. There were two doors; one idly open and the other, much larger than the first, was tightly closed. It had a stripe of glass on a side, and he could catch a slight glimpse of people moving about, so he tried to call them. But…nothing.

A few minutes passed then, with Sung Gyu continuously trying to find the voice he had seemed to have lost. How long had he been out, anyway? All he could remember was the crash, the pain, the voices, holding hands and the stickiness of the blood on his skin, and then nothing. He knew who’s hand he held, and at that particular memory, an uncomfortable feeling settled in the pit of his stomach. Was she okay? Where was she? Was she ever going to walk through that door and carry with her that sense of protection she had always given him all along? It was her whom he anticipated at that moment, even as he croaked out through his dry throat until something close to a coherent word formed. It was her whom he wanted to see when that larger door finally opened, and someone stepped in.

But only, it wasn’t her.

“Sung Gyu? Oh my god! Sung Gyu!”

Sung Gyu could hazily recall that voice, all until his mind slowly adjusted, and he caught a slightest glimpse of that swishy dark mane of hair which he remembered to have run his fingers through, millions of times. It was her; Yoora.

She returned to him after a moment, this time, followed by a couple of people he couldn’t recognize, but assumed as medical persons who looked after sick people as himself who lied helplessly in bed in the same way that he did. He could hardly keep track on everything that happened afterwards. His mind didn’t register a single thing. It’s probably been shut off for far too long. There were people tugging at his limbs, strapping things on him, taking things off. Lots of talking, asking him things to which he replied in monosyllables. Someone offered him water, and his throat was so parched that he accepted it and drank it all hungrily in one go. After all was said and done, he was lying still in the bed which was slightly levitated. He was finally able to move his back, and even sit up without his bones not giving in. So he sat there, quiet and lost. Yoora sat beside him, holding his hand.

And he recalled the past events, everything which brought him here to this point. The accident, and before that, the same woman who sat here now had taken away the most precious person he had in his life. An indescribable feeling of hatred bubbled inside him, which he couldn’t quite express while being bed ridden and helpless in every way. So, he asked her the first thing which appeared; “Where is my son?”

She might have though he had forgotten everything, or even forgiven her during his time of a long sleep, that she seemed slightly startled by the straightforwardness of his voice; but Yoora, as always, soon gathered her bearings. “He’s with your parents” She said.

“Good” Sung gyu croaked out curtly. “S’pose they weren’t very happy”

There was dense silence on her part, during which she looked profusely apologetic, her fingers fiddling nervously, her head hung low, the usual high and mighty stance flittering away by the seconds which passed. Sung Gyu felt triumphant for a moment, imagining that he had finally managed to break down her high walls for once, but Yoora was unchanging. He had thought wrong of her. When she finally lifted her head, there wasn’t a tinge of remorse on her face. “I’m sorry, I guess” She said, without really meaning it.

“Doesn’t solve…things” Sung Gyu managed through the cough that was coming, and clutched his chest finally as it attacked him. In fact, he didn’t feel like he was in his best shape. His body still ached, his mind was still numb, and he hated being attached to machines of all kinds. The fact that he couldn’t exactly feel his feet wasn’t helping much; and to say that the conversation they were having right now was appropriate was an understatement. Yoora still had the decency to look worried as he tried to gather himself again; she, in fact, reached out and took his hand, looking into his face with concern etched on her face. Upon feeling her soft, cold hand against his sent a tinge of nostalgia coursing through him, and he finally managed to calm his aching lungs and lift his eyes to meet hers.

They glimmered. They were still the same.

“Sung Gyu, are you okay? Do you want me to get the doctor again?”

Her voice too. And she immediately took him thousand steps back in time; to the moment he had sat in a hospital bed in the same way as he did now, and her holding his hand, just like this. A numbing pain attacked his brain again, he flinched and retrieved his hand. “J-just…leave me be” He said.

Yoora finally moved away from him, giving him the much-required space. “Okay…” She said, and her voice was painfully soft; so unlike her. She pushed the chair back and climbed up on her feet. “I’ll...I’ll tell your parents that…” She sighed heavily and turned away. “Sleep, Sung Gyu. I’ll be outside if you need me”

Sung Gyu couldn’t drift back into sleep again regardless. It was as if he had had enough sleep to last a lifetime. Yet, his mind still wasn’t in its best condition, and he could barely register all the any things which happened around him. Doctors and nurses came and went, he was asked of how he felt and if he had pains anywhere to which he had answered solely in monosyllables. He’d been given tablets and painkillers, his IV was changed, and so much more had happened during a brief span of time. Through the dream like stance he had eased into, he consciously drifted back and forth into a fleeting doze just so he could shut his mind off until he was able to gather his bearings again. All through that, one thought lingered, and it only lingered around her.

Eunji was supposed to be here. It was all he could think of at that moment. He could vaguely remember her voice; trying to keep him sane in that fateful moment, and he was pretty sure she was not hurt just as bad, he was pretty sure she was okay…but now he was beginning to have his doubts. Had he been wrong then? What if she was hurt? What if he hadn’t been able to protect her all along? At that time, he didn’t understand why he had suddenly felt the thriving need to protect her above everything, even if it was sudden yet so strong, almost difficult to ignore that he acted upon his impulses. Now as he lied there in that quiet room, alone with his thoughts, Sung Gyu realized; it was trust. It was faith. It was knowing that even if he had died or times had passed and he had forgotten his name, Eunji would still be there, with him, with them, and Sung Gyu could always, always entrust the most precious possession of his life to her. That was why he had saved her; if he hadn’t, it occurred to him, he wouldn’t know what he would do with himself. Sung Gyu had an unhealthy amount of trust on her, so much so that he had impulsively put his own life on the line for her.

But was it the case entirely? He contemplated long and hard, even if his brain hurt by thinking so much, but the former was the only conclusion he could come down to. He saved her, because he couldn’t lose her. He couldn’t lose her because she was the only person he had his complete, unadulterated trust on, and that was that.

Regardless, when the door to his room suddenly crashed open, startling him, and the very subject of his contemplations walked in, Sung Gyu found himself questioning his reasons once all over again. In a fleeting moment, he felt his heart lose pace, a comfortable, familiar warmth spread throughout his veins, and upon settling his gaze in those eyes which suddenly seemed to hold an entire universe in them….it wasn’t easy to admit it to himself, but…

Sung Gyu found his safe haven in her eyes.

“B-Boss?” She uttered mildly, and in a quick once over, Sung Gyu took note of all the red and black bruises covering her pale skin. There were plasters over her brows, on her cheeks, one deep gash down her neck and a whole lot on both her arms; except for that, her legs were in place, arms moved just fine. She was in good shape, and relief soon settled in his heart. He couldn’t say a word, regardless. Not as she approached him in hurried steps, not even as she threw her arms around him and nestled against the lying form of him, on his chest. He could feel her warmth, he breathed in her sweetest fruity scent, he could feel her tears dampening him, and the very presence of her suddenly became overwhelming for him; it was as if he’d waited for this moment of reassurance all along. Sung Gyu smiled, closing his eyes and reclining in her embrace. She pulled away the slightest, and suddenly, their faces were only inches apart. Sung Gyu felt himself losing that composure all over again.

“Are you okay?” She asked him, her voice trembling and hoarse, and her breath warmly fanned his skin. Sung Gyu took this as an opportunity and gave her a truly confused look. “Who are you?”

The look of pure shock and panic in her eyes was so adorable for him the moment she pulled away, so much so that he felt a great urge to break off in giggles. “W-what?” She whispered, moving further and further away from him. “What no…”

Sung Gyu broke out laughing the very instant; the strange mixture of emotions she was displaying suddenly made his heart do indescribable things inside. “Come here, Eunji” he exclaimed, sat up, put his own hands around her and pulled her close. One of his hands was in her hair, the other encircling her, and with his eyes closed, he slowly breathed in her scent. It wasn’t even his first time, holding her like this. They’ve done it a plenty of times already; but that particular occasion was special for him for a reason he couldn’t fathom. Was it the relief? The reassurance? The security he felt in her presence? He couldn’t really tell. When he held her, he felt oddly protected; and it was the very same emotion which forced him to pull away from her.

“Are you okay?” Sung Gyu asked her as he nestled against the pillows behind him; the brief moment they shared back then slowly waning away. Eunji regained her composure, soon returning to being the Jung Eunji he had always known. She fell into the chair beside the bed, and nodded in response. “Yeah…” She said, sighed and gave him a grave look. “But was it even necessary? Do you even have any idea how worried I was? I can’t believe you thought it was a time to make bad jokes”

Sung Gyu smiled in response, amused at how irate she seemed at that moment. It was strange how he found her moment of annoyance rather endearing; adorable, even. “It was a good joke, still” He deadpanned.

“You’re an idiot” she chided and rolled her eyes in response. “You were out cold for sixteen bloody hours and the first thing you do waking up is this? I was worried sick okay? I even-,”

Sung Gyu frowned, holding up a hand in response. “Wait…I was out for only sixteen hours?”

“Yeah” Eunji shrugged. “But still-,”

“Aw” Sung Gyu slumped back into the bed, slightly crestfallen. “I thought I was out for days!” He had dreams, so many of them, almost as if he was reliving his life all over again, and all of that had happened during the span of only sixteen hours? He could swear he felt his dreams lasting for an eternity. It had to be longer. Sixteen hours was pretty much the amount of sleep he got on the weekends.

Eunji tilted her head, giving him a look of all confusion. “What was that?”

“Sixteen hours is just…” Sung Gyu sighed. And that, somehow drove her even madder. “What? What are you even trying to imply? Sixteen hours was bad enough! So much could happen in sixteen hours! There I was, scared if you had slipped into a coma or something…thankfully it was just concussion but…”

Eunji went on and on, then. Her words falling out so naturally and drifting in the air between them, him barely processing what any of that meant. He could catch a few familiar words here and there, but he couldn’t bother connect each of them and try to form anything coherent because there he was, relieved and content in a way that he could never explain. Sung Gyu didn’t realize that he was just staring at her, watching her, following her every move with a small, tender smile on his lips. It was when she finally stopped talking and gave him confused look, tilting her head to a side, trying to read him, that he returned to his senses again. When he did, the first thing he told her was; “I’m so glad you’re alright, Eunji”

Quietness followed, and Sung Gyu could swear he witnessed how her cheeks visibly reddened. “What are you talking about?” As always, she feigned minimal care and rolled her eyes. That, somehow, gave Sung Gyu the momentum to carry on what he’d been meaning to say to her all alone.

“If you were not, god forbid, I wouldn’t know what I would do with myself”

And that was the truth. Over the time of their acquaintanceship, Sung Gyu had often found himself depending on her a lot more than he had initially intended to. The thing was that she’d always been there for him. She’d seen him in his best days and the worst, she supported him, unwaveringly so, in moments he had near given up on trying. She had been a guardian, not only to his son whom he completely trusted in her arms, but to him as well. And then, in the oddest, scarcest occasions, he had strongly felt himself drawn to her in a way he had never been to another woman in his life., And he realized, he needed her; a lot more than he had imagined he would. For him, she was no longer a baby sitter, or a mere employee; not even a friend in that case. What he felt for her went far beyond that. She was a constant for him, and just like always, without her in the equation of his life, nothing would be the same.

Eunji was silent for a moment, and he couldn’t understand what the look in her eyes meant at that time. Not that he had a particular interest of knowing it, but not knowing her emotions frustrated him just the same. Yet Eunji was indifferent to him, as always. She scoffed, rolled her eyes and finally climbed up on her feet. “You’ve hit your head somewhere, I’m leaving”

Sung Gyu laughed, and even whined pretentiously a pathetic “Aw Eunji don’t go” but he didn’t try to stop her. At that moment, he realized, it was better to let her walk out on him, because most things about himself was out of order and uncooperative at that time. He blamed it all on the accident. He didn’t know how it might have been affected, but his heart…it was particularly unwell at that moment, if the erratic beating ever really meant anything. What he didn’t know, at that moment, was that the strange movements of his heart had always had more reasons than one.

*

“Eunji’s car is totally, absolutely totaled, hyung” was the first thing Woohyun said as he emerged from the parting of the door. It’s been a couple of hours since he’d woken up from his sixteen-hour long blackout, and during that time he had learned a couple of things he hadn’t previously grasped. His leg had a nasty injury which had gashed through his arteries and he had required surgery as well as a blood transfusion due to his chronic anemic condition, he’d been concussed due to the shock caused by the collision, and while he was out, Yoora’s been the one taking care of his son, and thankfully not telling the child of what had happened, and also had safely taken him to his parents where a whole heap of drama had taken place. He didn’t know much details, still, since he had only contacted his parents over the phone and the conversation had mostly consisted of him telling his mother “Don’t cry mum, I’m alright, it’s okay” an uncountable number of times as she hollered on the other end. They were yet to come and see them, mostly because they were still unable to get over the shock they were in that they could hardly even hire themselves a taxi without going into a panic-stricken frenzy. Also, he learned from Eunji, later on, that it was in fact Yoora who saved his life. If not for her, he could have even died due to severe loss of blood. Sung Gyu had a hard time trying to come into terms with this one fact. He wasn’t sure how he felt about it. On one hand, she had been the one who caused it all; but then again, she hadn’t meant to. It was all him who had overreacted and been overly possessive of the child that they both had the right to. On the other hand, she’s the one who also saved him, and he owed her for that; yet him, not even getting the facts straight, had cruelly shoved her away from him in a manner that she didn’t deserve. In every way, he still remained in the wrong.

Which, apparently, he had to deal with later on, since there stood Woohyun in his room, not looking so happy that he had, unintentionally even, put his sister-in-law’s life in danger.

“Oh, umm…” Sung Gyu clutched his head and hoarsely croaked out. “Hi, Woohyun”

Woohyun gave him a sincere look of concern and let out a sigh. “You look like ”” He commented as he sat in the chair beside the bed.

“Great, thanks” Sung Gyu replied scornfully. “How bad is the car?”

“The insurance will cover it, hopefully” Woohyun shrugged. “Anyway, how are you feeling?”

“Grand. Marvelous” Sung Gyu tautly retorted.

“You wouldn’t be, if Yoora didn’t send the ambulance on time” Woohyun said accusingly, and Sung Gyu merely fell silent, unable to respond. It was, in fact, something Sung Gyu had put a lot of thoughts into, the past few hours. Yoora had saved him. Eunji was there, true. She held him through that difficult time, she called for help, but she was equally as helpless as he was at that moment; and if not for Yoora, he wouldn’t even be lying here. He could be lying in a wooden casket, or a bowl of ashes for all he cared. He owed her. But more than that, what troubled him the most was; why would she even do that? Sending help, he could tally it down to basic human instincts upon such an incident. But then she had fearlessly gone to his parents, she was the one who was beside him when he’s woken up, from a nurse he happened to hear that it was her who stayed with him all throughout. And then, he witnessed it himself, that look of genuine hurt and concern in her eyes; the very emotions he had seen in her years ago when he had met with an accident the same way and lied in bed, when she had held his hand until he returned to consciousness; then the first one he saw at that moment was her. What did all that mean? What was she trying to imply?

Woohyun was still talking even as he was still pretty much lost in his own thoughts. “You’re an idiot, Hyung. You need to stop being so dramatic all the time. What was so bad about letting her see him for once? Sung Jae is her child too, for heaven’s sake!”

Why didn’t he let her see him? The truth was that he knew the answer himself, all too well. The reason was simple and ten folds complicated at the same time. He didn’t want to go back in time; that’s what. He didn’t want to take that involuntary, yet inevitable steps back into the past and lose himself all over again. Yoora was the woman he loved. She was the one person he had waited for, for so many years. In the years of her absence, he had learned to move on from that phase of his life, learned to live a life without her. And to have her back, demanding that he did exactly what he had hoped she would do all those years ago, have the things really changed? That’s what Sung Gyu was truly afraid of. He was afraid that he hadn’t, indeed, moved on from her. All that he’d learned to be would come down to nothing, and he would return to being on square one, once all over again.

“It’s not as easy as you think, Woohyun-ah” Sung Gyu admitted in the end, reclining into the softness of his comforters as if that simple action would sooth the now developing pain in his heart. “If it was, I would have gone ahead with-it months ago”

“What’s stopping you, then?” Woohyun prodded on without hesitation. “What makes it so difficult? It’s been years already”

Sung Gyu sighed, closed his eyes and pressed his arm over them, hoping that it would block the endless signals of emotions which attacked him on and on. “Ah, I don’t know…Woohyun. I don’t know”

“Neither would I” Woohyun pressed on, sounding firm, annoyed even, though his action of gently rearranging the quilt over him seemed to mean otherwise. “Neither would I if you refuse to tell us anything. Just what is going on, hyung?”

Sung Gyu was silent, just listening to the sound of his breath, the beeping coming from the machines he was attached too, and the voices in his mind which were louder and more intense than they’ve ever been. Woohyun’s hand, then, he felt it suddenly grasping onto him; still a gesture so tender that he felt himself slowly returning the hold just the same.

“Hyung” he said softly, his voice milder and considerate than it’s been before.

“Hm?”

“You’re not over her, are you?”

And there it was, out in open for everyone to see. Kim Sung Gyu never stopped loving Im Yoora.

*

Sung Jae’s been to an actual hospital only just a handful of times, and that’s always been to visit a sick person or when he’d had a bad tummy bug. There hadn’t been a serious enough of a reason to stay in one much longer; but as he travelled to a hospital yet again, sitting between his grandparents and amidst his own thoughts, feeling alone than ever before, little Sung Jae came to understand that this particular visit to the hospital will probably last longer than his visits before. And he was anxious. A feeling so alien to him that he had a hard time coming around to accept it. He’d been told, just as he was being suddenly dressed up that afternoon, that his father had been hospitalized. He assumed that his father was sick. Only sick people went to hospitals. Also, people who got shot or got in freak accidents. As he rode silently to what waited ahead of him, little Sung Jae contemplated the possibilities he had come up with so far. One, he was shot while doing his not-very-much-so detective work; chasing a fugitive of some sort, possibly a serial killer/criminal master mind. Two, he was sick and probably had blood on his behind like the baby-sitter did once (and was hospitalized for it). Three, he got into a freak accident. Sung Jae stuck with the first for two reasons in total. One, it sounded cool and brave to be shot as a detective, as long as it didn’t hurt so bad. Two, the lady who claimed to be his mother and kept him for a couple of hours in her big, fancy house with all those scary and weird ornaments, had told him that his father was busy with work that he wouldn’t be going home that night. (He had thought the baby sitter would be there, but if the lady was his mum, he couldn’t ask her that, he figured. It would be rude. Also, the lady fed him well so he hadn’t any complains) There was also this one reason that he refused to think about the entire time. Every time he did think about this, his skin would prickle in fear. A memory so raw and hurtful yet so clear in his mind. Sung Jae had heard his grandmother cry so loudly in the living room.

He didn’t know much about mothers. But he did know enough to know that they cried like that when their children were in danger.

Sung Jae hated to think that it might be the case. Still, he was too afraid to ask, so he kept his silence throughout the ride on the taxi, and even as they arrived, as his grandfather held his hand, as they rode up the elevator in complete silence that the creak of the moving metal case made an eerie, hollow noise echo in his mind, all until they arrived at a corridor, and the intensity of his anxiety just grew. The hospital had never seemed so scary in his eyes before. Until that point, it had only been a place where sick people came to. But then, he realized with a pang; It was also the place where some sick people died. He grasped onto his grandfather’s hand even tighter, and searched in his wrinkled, weary old face for even a slightest sign of worry or sadness or just about anything to provide him the answers. But he was as blank as he’s ever been. It was then that he awakened his voice for the first time since they’ve gotten into the cab. “Grandpa, is my Appa okay?”

The small, reassuring smile which appeared on his thin lips was suddenly sunshine for little Sung Jae’s mind. His grandfather’s arms were now weak and wobbly, and Sung Jae was a tall, big boy who nearly reached his father’s height (or he thought so) but still his grandfather managed to lift him off the ground and hold him. “Your appa is just fine and he said he can’t wait to see you, Sung Jae-ah”

That sounded very much like his father to him. After all, it’s been hours since they last saw each other, and Sung Jae’s had a strange day that he had so much to divulge his father in. Sung Jae couldn’t wait to meet him, himself. So he smiled, put his arms around his grandfather who quietly followed after his grandmother as she hurried down the dull white corridor.

In a clear distance, he saw her. The baby sitter. “There’s baby sitter!” Sung Jae exclaimed, wriggled out of his grandfather’s grasp and quickly sauntered across the hall. But then halted, his eyes widened. Sung Jae recognized those clothes she wore so well. They were the kind of strange pajamas the sick people in all those dramas wore. Why was the baby sitter dressed in one of them? And then upon further inspection, he also realized that there was a whole lot of bruises all over her. Sung Jae’s curiosity grew. She wasn’t the kind of a person who did a lot of sporty stuff. She was very lazy, actually. She had a lot to complain when the lift was broken and she had to take the stairs. It was hard to believe that she got those bruises from sports. She got into a cat fight, maybe. Or fell into a hole in the ground.

“Sung Jae-ah!” her voice called out to him, and in a matter of seconds, he was pulled into her warm embrace. He could feel that familiar fruity scent emanating from her over the dizzying stench of spirit of her wounds, and Sung jae felt oddly calm like he always did in her arms. He fought against her, nevertheless. Being hugged in a hospital place was embarrassing. “Mmpf let go!”

The baby sitter chuckled and pulled away from him. “How have you been? Did you miss me?”

Sung Jae, instead of entertaining her questions, ree of his own. “What happened to you baby sitter?”

Eunji shrugged, but her smile remained as if what she was about to disclose to him was a very happy thought. “I got into a car accident” Then she frowned. “I suppose you didn’t know, huh”

Sung Jae winced and looked behind at his grandparents who were now busy talking to a person in a long white coat whom he assumed was a hospital person. He looked back at the baby sitter and shook his head. “No, but I’m here to see my appa”

The baby sitter looked down at him, a look he recognized as her unwavering concern was yet again glimmering in her eyes; a small, tender smile played on her lips, even as she crouched down to his level so they would be closer as she’d speak. “Sung Jae-ah” she said softly, took Sung Jae’s hand and held it in hers for a long, quiet moment. “You know, your father and I, we got into an accident together. We were being silly and driving too fast, I guess…”

Her face darkened, not that Sung Jae could see the stricken look on his face himself; but he did feel the anxiety he previously had intensify a notch. “Hey, don’t worry, we’re both okay. Your appa has a couple of nasty injuries and he’s in bed for now, but he’s up and he’s in there, waiting to see you”

Sung Jae’s ears perked up at the mention of this. “Can I see him then?”

Baby sitter glanced at his grandparents still talking to the doctor behind him, looked back at him once more and gave him a warm smile. “Yup. Come on”

*

Woohyun offered to stay in that afternoon since there wasn’t anyone else who could take care of him at that time; but he didn’t help much, as most such helpers would go. Sung Gyu was bed ridden still, very much so. His arms were malfunctional, one attached to the IV, the other on the heartrate machine but Woohyun kept pointing out that they were regardless capable of movement, hence Sung Gyu trying to feed himself his lunch, on his own.

“You’re supposed to help me Woohyun” Sung Gyu muttered as his fifth attempt of working the chopsticks failed. “I’m sick, if it hadn’t occurred to you yet”

“But your arms seem fine” Woohyun commented, feigning nonchalance, not once looking up from his phone, which he’d had his eyes glued on for the past couple of hours. “Eat yourself. You got to get used to it”

“To what? Being handicapped?”

“Pretty much” Woohyun shrugged.

“Jerk” Sung Gyu mumbled under his breath as he proceeded to jab his spoon into the bowl of rice with his only good hand. He hadn’t been bed ridden often, but each time he had, he had had someone serving to him at every beck and call, pampering him and looking to all his needs; mostly his mother. Yet right now, being a somewhat lonely single parent middle aged man with a terribly unhelpful person for a best friend, Sung Gyu realized, being ill and disabled wasn’t something he’d rather be.

The door to his room opened suddenly then, and he didn’t even lift his head, already knowing who the not-very unexpected visitor was. Yet, there was a small smile gracing his lips, mostly for the reason that his helping hand, his own personal little servant has arrived exactly at the time he needed her. Thus, to exaggerate his disabilities, Sung Gyu spilled a handful of steamed rice all over his tray.

“Uh, Oops!”

“Who even let him eat on his own!?” Eunji’s voice followed after, and Sung Gyu couldn’t help the victorious smile on his face. She’s been like this for the past couple of hours, looking to his need as if it was her responsibility. And she did this ever so diligently that Sung Gyu had nothing to complain.

“Eh don’t be silly he’s fine” Woohyun shrugged, finally looking up from his phone. “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be in bed?”

Woohyun made that a point every time he saw Eunji wandering about. Sung Gyu had a question himself, and that was that if the hospital ever even had the ethics of not allowing patients to merrily go about, hopping from one ward to the other. But he kept it to himself, afraid he’d lose his only helping hand.

Eunji didn’t respond to him verbally. With a shrug at his direction, she soon turned to Sung Gyu, a look of excitement bubbling on her usually cheerful features. “Boss! Guess who’s come to visit you!”

Sung gyu set down his utensils, hope arising in his heart and that familiar sense of affection spreading through him. His eyes filled before he could stop himself, and all the struggles and pains that he had for the past couple of hours soon washed away, only to be replaced by the flourishing feeling of love that he had missed out on delivering for so, so long. Sung Jae emerged from behind Eunji, and Sung Gyu soon realized that it was only then that his world finally fell into place.

“Appa?”

“Sung Jae”

It was a beautiful reunion. Even though they were parted for as briefly as a single day, they’ve missed each other enough to hold onto themselves so close with that everlasting promise of never letting go. Sung Gyu found himself sniffing into Sung Jae’s shoulder, who had climbed up into his lap upon Woohyun removing the lunch tray from him. Sung Gyu had both his hands around that small, tender built of his son, and Sung Jae’s arms were around his neck, hugging him. Sung Gyu kissed long on his head and pulled away, carefully sitting him down on his lap.

“Did you miss me?” Sung Gyu asked, smiling warmly despite the genuinely concerned look in Sung Jae’s eyes.

“Appa you got into a car accident?” He asked him hurriedly.

“Apparently so” Sung gyu shrugged.

“With baby sitter?”

“Mmhm” Sung Gyu nodded and slowly arranged Sung Jae’s bangs fallen lazily over his eyes. “I was very careless and drove very fast. But we’re okay now” He reassured warmly.

“But you’re in hospital, Appa. People who are okay won’t be at hospitals. They’d be at home” Sung Jae made a point, earning a laughter from the onlookers, especially Eunji who had shoved Woohyun out of the chair and eased into it herself.

“Well you’re right” Sung Gyu laughed in return and quickly changed the topic. “Where are your grandparents?”

And then, just as on cue, the door crashed open in such an intensity that the moment entirely was a blur in his eyes. Both his parents shuffled in, his mother covered and began to cry. “Oh god, my son!”

Sung gyu, in fact, had expected for the things to take this turn. She had been rather persistent, even as she was talking about her premonition. And now that it had all come true, Sung Gyu hadn’t thought that she’d take it very well. She’s been all tears over the phone the past few hours as well. Even though Sung Gyu was in pretty good shape, except for a few bruises and the stitched gash on his calf, Sung Gyu knew his mother would make a havoc, just out of the sight of him lying in a hospital bed. He understood her, nevertheless. That’s how all parents were. Sung Gyu would have been the same himself. So, all that he did at that moment was allowing Woohyun to pick Sung Jae up from his lap and fold his mother into a long, reassuring embrace.

“I’m sorry mum” He whispered as she went on wailing into his chest. And he was, because after all she’d done to keep him out of harm’s way, he had gone ahead and done this. Sung Gyu’s parents have done so much for him, keeping him in their safety being one of the biggest sacrifices they have done for him. As a child, or growing up, he had never faced a single accident or been hospitalized, with even the smallest scratch on his skin well-tended to. And he hadn’t ever given a true value to that life they’ve protected for all these years. As a man, he had carelessly lived his life. He’d gotten into a life-threatening accident once, leaving an everlasting scar in his mother’s heart, gone ahead and had a child. And now, here he was, once again having put little to no concern on his life and lying in bed again. He had all the reasons to be sorry for.

And also, to be lightly so, smacked on his arm like a child being reprimanded by a mother. “Well you better be! How many times did I tell you not to drive? Did you even listen to me? Do you know how worried I was?”

Sung Gyu pursed his lips and hung his head. “Well I didn’t drive…much”

“But yet you’re here!” Exclaimed his mother, exasperated, but then started crying again, at which point Sung Gyu can only hopelessly watch her, and then stare at his father who was quiet the whole time like he usually was and shrugged. It sure was going to be a long day.

“Why don’t I take Sung Jae down for some smoothie?” Woohyun said, his voice gently cutting through the silence, and his arms were resting on Sung Jae’s shoulder who nodded enthusiastically.

“Can I come?” Eunji asked, and it was evident that Woohyun was about to say no, but he yielded, and soon the three of them were out of the room, leaving Sung Gyu to deal with all the misery he had caused. He was quiet for a moment, and as his mother’s tears dried off, he took her hand in both of his. “Mum I’m sorry, and if any consolation, I didn’t break anything”

“That doesn’t change anything, does it?” She asked him slowly, and that silenced him, because he knew what exactly she meant. Sung Gyu had indeed broken something. He’s broken a promise. He had not only gone ahead and done something she told him not to; but impulsively so as well. And along with feigning ignorance to her pleas, he had also mistrusted her, or it seemed so in her eyes. For her, whatever the hunch she had had back then had been nothing but a joke in his eyes; which wasn’t entirely true either. Regardless, as of now, silence was the only answer.

The only consolation he had then was the heavy warm hand which grasped his shoulder. His father was perhaps the only one of the two who understood him. “How are you, son?”

“Well, dad…”

He took that moment to fill on him the extent of his injuries and his progress, at which point his parents revealed to him that there was a big chance that he will be discharged the next day. It was good news, especially given that he didn’t think he could strive on the hospital food any longer. Silence followed afterwards, and after a moment, his mother grasped his hand softly. “That girl, Yoora…she told me everything” She said.

At the mention of her, Sung Gyu’s throat constricted, and that familiar fear slowly spread through every vein of him, along with an emotion he couldn’t exactly fathom, but it did make his heart lose its pace. “I suppose she did” Sung Gyu replied stiffly. He had been told that much, but only now was the time he would hear the exact details. Still, he wasn’t certain if he’s ready for it.

“Sung Gyu-ah…” she started mildly, still holding his hand in hers, a gesture so tender that the agitation in his heart slowly faded away. “Omma understands you, that you must have a pretty good reason why you didn’t let her see him…but, I feel that things would have played out rather differently had you let them see each other…you know, she wouldn’t have gone to that extent, right?”

Sung Gyu contemplated her words quietly, and though he hardly thought she was right, Sung Gyu held his tongue, since there was nothing he could do at that moment but maintain his silence. Sung Gyu did have a pretty good reason to hold back and not give into her. But it was pretty selfish and pretty stupid in every way as well. Now that he thought of it, yes, he could have let them meet, he could have introduced her as his mother, and then they could have remained close friends and Sung Jae will still have a mother himself. Things wouldn’t have been this so complicated had he done so the first place. But then…he also knew that it would be complicated just the same…at least for him. And he wasn’t quite ready yet, even after all those years, to take that blow again. But no matter how hard he had tried to stop that reunion, thinking the very act itself would stop something he didn’t want to happen from happening, it had been inevitable, and now things have gone deeper in a manner that he couldn’t back track. Sung Gyu had simply gone around the labyrinth and landed on square one in the end.

He smiled sadly as he tugged onto the quilt on his lap. “Well, now they have met anyway…” He said in a hoarse whisper, and his mother’s hold on his hand tightened. “Sung Gyu-ah…”

She stopped there, stopped at that point and didn’t say a word but hold his hand in hers for a long period of time. Sung Gyu thought of lots of thing during that moment. He thought of all the things Yoora could have said to them, all the things that could have transpired during his absence. He thought about the point in that time where his fate had veered off significantly from its original course of time, landing him here, now, in a place that he couldn’t fathom himself. He didn’t know where Yoora stood now, in his life. He could no longer see her as a threat or a nemesis. That wall had long shattered to smithereens; perhaps, the moment he got into the accident and she saved him, or it had been happening for long over the time since they met again. Sung Gyu didn’t know it himself. What he really did know was that things were going to be rather different from this point, both in his life and his world. Yoora probably wouldn’t be the Yoora he had thought was a threat to him and his son from now on, but whom she had always been to them but he refused to admit. She’d be Sung Jae’s mother.

And he also realized something else at that moment. The warmth of his mother’s hand in his seemed to say things to him in a greater length. He looked up at her, his eyes glassy and hopeful, an indescribable amount of admiration was within them, all directed for her. “You…knew” He told her, his voice barely a hoarse whisper, and her grasp tightened in return.

“I’m your mother, Sung Gyu-ah” She said mildly and rubbed her thumb against the soft skin of the back of his hand. “I always knew. But just as much as it concerned you, it concerned me too. I don’t want us to go back in time…and see you heart-broken again…”

Sung Gyu took in a sharp breath. “Mum…”

“But” she carried on, lifted her hand and touched his cheek. When Sung Gyu looked into her eyes, he was immediately engulfed in the warmth of her motherly affection; he felt, for some reason, that everything will be alright. “Sung Gyu, I love you, and whatever the decision you make, I’ll stand with you every step of the way…”

“M-mum” Sung Gyu’s voice broke slightly, and it was her who pulled him into her arms this time, followed by his father. His father who’d been quiet for the whole time, gently tousled his hair. No matter how older he grew, how much happened in his life, Kim Sung Gyu will always, always be his parents’ little boy. However, he didn’t learn what happened during his absence, in his old home when Yoora had bravely conceded to his parents when she came to them with his child. That particular moment in time remained forever a mystery to him, one that his parents didn’t bring up or he didn’t try to prod deeper into. For some reason, Sung Gyu realized, certain things were better left a blur.

*

Meanwhile, downstairs in the hospital cafeteria, Eunji, Woohyun and Sung Jae devoured on their respective glasses of fruit smoothies in awkward silence. It wasn’t exactly awkward…per se, or silent, in a way. In fact, it was only Woohyun who was awkward and silent the whole time all by himself while Sung Jae and Eunji were busy conversing under their breaths, things that Woohyun couldn’t hear or understand and that made them appear like two partnered criminals planning their next move. Woohyun felt a bit annoyed at the sight, and also at the fact that he couldn’t be a part of their conversation. It wasn’t like he was any grown up than Eunji was, or like Eunji was as little as Sung Jae was. Besides it him who knew Sung Jae first, long before Eunji even knew he existed. Sung Jae even used to get so excited upon seeing him, but with Eunji’s arrival, things have significantly changed. Not that he was jealous or anything, or particularly strived for the child’s attention. Woohyun bit hard on his straw, scoffed loudly and rolled his eyes. It’s strange that Sung Jae was so much like his best friend; ignoring the important people in his life.

It took them a while to get out of their own quiet little bubble, and that happened only when an unfamiliar voice echoed from somewhere behind them. When Woohyun turned around, there was a small lady in a nurse uniform approaching them with a wide grin on her face. “Eunji-Ssi!”

“Namjoo-Ssi?” Eunji called in return, an equally bright smile appearing on her lips as she climbed up out of her chair, and judging by the looks of it, she must have made quick friends with the nurse. Figures, Woohyun thought begrudgingly. Birds alike always flocked together.

“Eunji-Ssi, as much as I want to tell you that you’re not allowed to wander about, I’m glad to see you like this” The girl, said to be Namjoo, told the other as she stood by their table. Eunji laughed in response. “I’m pretty fine now and I hope you will let me go soon”

The two of them laughed at what she said, together, as if it was the joke of the century and all that the two remaining men of the table could do was exchange a confused look. Woohyun was glad that even for that moment, he could relate to the nine-year-old boy.

“So, whom am I seeing here?” Namjoo looked down at Sung Jae with the same over-excited grin. “Ooh I know you, you’re little Sung Jae, Sung Gyu-Ssi’s son!”

Sung Jae, for the well-mannered little lad he was, soon slid off the chair, bowed deeply and introduced himself, which made the nurse squeal louder, surprised at how sweet and polite he was. Then it was the turn for Woohyun to introduce himself, but before he could even say anything, the nurse looked at him with wide eyes and exclaimed, “Oh, your husband is so handsome! Nice to meet you!”

Woohyun, had he been sipping from his drink, would have gotten his mango smoothie all over himself. Thankfully, he only happened to choke on his words. Eunji, on the other hand just laughed and smacked him hard on his back, to which he responded with a glare but her eyes were still on her friend as she spoke; “Oh, him? He’s just my brother in law…Nam Woohyun”

Namjoo’s face reddened in embarrassment, albeit a sure sign that the conversation would end soon. “Ah, I’m so sorry! Nam Woohyun-Ssi, nice to meet you!”

Woohyun hadn’t quite gotten over his chocking fit even as he politely greeted her in return. The two girls shared a brief goodbye afterwards, and all through that, Woohyun glowered at her without cease, his dark gaze almost bearing holes on her. He didn’t even notice it when Sung Jae sneakily passed all the lettuce in his sandwich into his plate, and once she was gone, Woohyun finally composed himself and turned away. “Wonder why she thought I was married to you” he said sounding unaffected, and Eunji didn’t seem to have noticed himself. “Hm, I wonder…it can’t be Sung Jae, she knows him”

“Sandwich?” Sung Jae offered her, but she laughed lightly and declined before she rolled her eyes at Woohyun. “Tch! what’s there to be so offended about”

“Nothing” Woohyun retorted feigning nonchalance, but then his face grew darker again. “Nothing except that I’m also basically married”

It took a moment for the words to sink into Eunji’s dry-sponge head. When it finally did, she near toppled the table. “What? When?”

Woohyun smirked, finally ripping his gaze away from the table and looked up at her, raising his hand which now had a shiny gold band on the ring finger, one that she hadn’t seen before. “I proposed to her, we are engaged”

The size of Eunji’s eyes wouldn’t go down a bit, and what’s even stranger was that the expression she delivered was eerily similar to the one that Sung Gyu gave him when he noticed the ring on his finger that morning. (Woohyun also might have made a show of it since he couldn’t wait to tell him and see the look of shock on his face) “To whom? You proposed to the fart girl?”

Woohyun groaned and clenched his teeth. “Don’t call her that, she has a name!”

The whole incident was something he was rather reluctant to reveal to his best friend or his family for more reasons than one. The truth was, Woohyun met Yoon Bomi at the hair saloon he was a regular at, on one particular occasion when Bomi had accidentally released a loud fart. Woohyun’s primary reaction was snort, which wasn’t nice in itself, but instead of giving him a look of hurt or annoyance like most girls would, Bomi had looked at him and snorted herself, leading them to a moment of loud, enigmatic laughter, which slowly connected them. “I’d pretend it was the sound of the chair” Sung Gyu had told her. “I’d pretend we didn’t meet over a fart” she had told him brightly in return. “Hello! I’m Yoon Bomi”

Woohyun had taken one look into her eyes, saw them glimmer like stars, saw her smile and felt immediately drawn to her. “Nam Woohyun” he had told her, and after a while, he had added though he wasn’t really meaning to; “And I don’t mind meeting you over a fart. Do I have the pleasure to take you out for dinner?”

And they continued from there. It’s been two years. Woohyun never really revealed to the others how they met, only sticking to a lame story of them having met over work. But Sung Gyu, his best friend, the one who had always been attentive due to his rather superior detective skills had a feeling that there was always something more to it. Sung gyu kept telling him; “You’re one with exciting stories, Woohyun, it couldn’t have been so simple” And then one day, Sung Gyu got Woohyun excessively drunk, and also with his detective skills, Sung Gyu asked him all the right questions until Woohyun revealed everything to him, himself. Sung Gyu hadn’t been exactly nice, afterwards, telling that story to almost everyone (in fact, it was only Boohyun and his parents, but that’s bad enough because Boohyun wasn’t exactly to be trusted with a secret.) Since then, Boohyun and Eunji together had developed the phrase ‘We met upon a fart’ and related his girlfriend to this particular health related matter at every occasion possible.

But now, the fart girl was going to be his wife. After months of contemplation, he has finally come down to that. He knew, there were lots of things to consider. He had, somehow, the fatherly and brotherly responsibility over Eunji who was now his family as much as Boohyun was. He could have not accepted it and let her on her own, but Eunji was a great girl. She was silly and all kinds or irresponsible, but still there was something about her which made him feel that he should protect her at all costs. And to say that she was someone his brother considered as precious, Woohyun had diligently done his part all these years. One would have thought he’d feel romantically towards her. But he never did. For Woohyun, Eunji was always a little sister that needed to be taken care of. So, because of her, he had delayed his marriage as much as he could, but the need to seal the deal between Bomi and him arouse when she and her family kept asking him. He didn’t want any suspicion to rise. Yet, he waited until he was certain she was at least nearly settled. The exact same day he heard from Eunji that she was seeing someone (Howon. He still had mixed feelings about it) Woohyun had upped and asked Bomi to marry him.

Yet, there’s still been a variable he hadn’t considered. A variable, even with the slightly surprised and even pained look in his eyes, had given him his honest blessings. Woohyun realized, he really hadn’t given Sung Gyu all the love that he deserved. The kid was like a rare flower; flourishing only on all the love that he received. Woohyun was to get married at the end of that year. Still, he wasn’t quite sure what he was supposed to do with his best friend.

“Anyway, I’m happy for you, Nam” Eunji was telling him, now an amused smile on her lips. “Bomi’s great. She’s funny and a lot nicer than you”

“Yeah thanks” Woohyun nodded with a scoff. “I see you’ve made fast friends”

Bomi was already going non-stop about Eunji whom she had met only once. But he supposed, yet again, the people who had the same mental tendencies flocked together.

Silence fell between them afterwards as the two of them returned to their respective food. Sung Jae was now done eating and busy playing a game on Eunji’s phone. Eunji sat quietly as she from her straw her glass now empty, deep in a daze. There was an unmistakable look of sadness in her eyes; one that Woohyun couldn’t pinpoint at first glance, and couldn’t understand the reasons for. The more he tried to understand her, the more complex she became. He wondered all the reasons why things could be this way, then suddenly he saw it in the way her free had distractedly played with Sung Jae’s floppy hair. There was evidently someone in her mind.

Someone, for every good reason, that he had to pull out of her mind. So Woohyun asked her the first thing he thought was conversational and appropriate. “So, Eunji”

“Hm?” She finally got out of her train of thoughts.

“How are the things with Howon?”

Upon the mention of his name, Woohyun didn’t miss her stiffen for a fleeting moment before she gathered her composure and returning to her nonchalant stance. “Well, they’re okay”

“How okay?” Woohyun prodded on, a curious look on his face. “Not to be offensive but he never appeared to have not a single romantic bone in himself”

Eunji frowned and rolled her eyes at him in response. “Geez don’t be so judging” She said, pursed her lips and seemed to be deep in her thoughts for a moment. “To be honest” She drawled, and busied herself fiddling about with the things on the table. “Howon…is nice. He’s warm and kind and treats me well-,”

“So, you guys are, like, dating?”

Eunji frowned at this, yet again, as if she weren’t certain herself, and then shrugged. “You can say that…” She muttered, still sounding unsure, but then dropped her hands onto the table with a thud. “Ah, I don’t know. We’re borderline dating, but again we aren’t”

Woohyun sighed loudly and shook his head, realizing where the problem actually lied. “Eunji, you can’t be holding back like that…you got to give in!”

Eunji arched her brows as high as her hairline that her bangs covered them. “What do you mean?”

Woohyun gave her a long, scrutinizing gaze. Eunji wasn’t exactly someone who’d admit to her emotions or let them show easily under regular circumstances. It was after much prying and prodding and actual emotional pressure from more sources than one that he had finally gotten her to reveal her deepest innermost thoughts the last time, and it hadn’t been what he had expected. In fact, Woohyun had never expected for things to take that turn. There was one time when he had assumed that she might be in love with him, mostly because she got awfully sensitive every time the two of them got into an argument or a petty fight; and he’d been hell bent on trying to change that, all because he couldn’t read her simply through the vague emotions she had. But when she had actually revealed what she really truly felt, deep in her heart, well, Woohyun was pleasantly surprised. Sung Gyu was a guy who caught girls’ hearts left and right back then, even now; he was good looking, charming and incredibly kind so Woohyun wouldn’t blame her. But what really surprised him was that Sung Gyu would even match her awfully high standards in all his imperfect glory. But then, he could say that maybe, it was those flaws of him which made her fall in love with him. Nonetheless, it was something he couldn’t come into terms with.

More than that, Eunji was still more or less his baby sister; at least he considered so, despite whoever he was in Eunji’s life. And for his baby sister, Woohyun wanted the best, and he didn’t think that Sung Gyu was whom he’d consider the best for her. If it was back in the days when things were rather different, he would have let things to take their natural course. Woohyun’s known Sung Gyu for longer than he had known Eunji, and he knew for a fact that Sung Gyu wasn’t the kind of a guy who could even try to break a girl’s heart; he was too loved and too pure for that. But right now, considering the circumstances, Woohyun couldn’t simply let things turn out in their own way. Eunji couldn’t continue to be in love with Sung Gyu lest she’d end up getting her heart broken. Sung Gyu was an easy one to fall in love with, but it only grew complex as the time passed. It wasn’t his fault, nor anybody else’s. That’s just who he was. And Sung Gyu too, right now, stood in a place that he couldn’t figure out himself, much like standing amidst a labyrinth which had continued to grow complicated over time. When Sung Gyu loved, he gave all in; he let his heart on lose, wore it on his sleeve for the one whom he truly loved to grasp. Just like that, Sung gyu was simply incapable of loving two people at once. And provided that he had always put Yoora on a superficially high pedestal all his life, with her back in the picture, there was very little chance that his heart would sway. In that sense, Woohyun couldn’t let Eunji pursue him any longer. Things definitely had to change.

Even if it meant she’d be with a guy like Howon who was as soft and tender as a block of wood.

“What I mean is, you have got to let go of certain things to let other things to happen” Woohyun explained, but Eunji’s look of confusion didn’t waver once. After all, she wasn’t the smartest one out there.

“I still don’t get it” She shook her head.

This time around, despite how much it would affect her, Woohyun decided to be as blunt as he could be. “Do you still like Sung Gyu hyung?”

As if to clarify his suspicions, a long stretch of silence followed, with Eunji scornfully hanging her head, and Woohyun realized that her hand had yet again returned to play with Sung Jae’s floppy hair. That itself gave him the answers he needed.

“Oh Eunji” Woohyun groaned, shaking his head. He hadn’t thought it would be so easy. But he hadn’t thought it would be so difficult either. Perhaps he looked into it too much through his perception, and in his perception, it was so easy to change your heart from one person to another. But for Eunji, it seemed it definitely wasn’t the case. “Things aren’t going to be pretty” He said before he could stop himself, and had he been much quieter, he would have gotten away with it, but apparently Eunji had sharp ears though her mind wasn’t much so. “What?” She asked and sat up straight. “Honestly, Nam, what I don’t understand is what you have against this. I thought you’re his best friend!”

“I am!” Woohyun argued, and sighed heavily. “And as his best friend, I’m telling you, it’s not exactly a good idea right now”

“And why is that?” Eunji exclaimed angrily.

“Do you want me to be blunt?”

“I’d like honesty” Eunji muttered, unsure still, but Woohyun figured that there was absolutely no way around this.

“Okay” He muttered, looking at her straight. “Hyung is still very much in love with Im Yoora”

Eunji’s face darkened, her shoulders slumped, and though he felt a tight knot in his throat, he figured what he did just had to be done, just so he could prevent the impending damages had it dragged even further. But what she said next, truly surprised him.

“And I’m going to change that” She sternly replied.

*

Eunji got discharged from the hospital the very next day, Sung Gyu doing so a day later due to his wounds which still needed healing. Even though he was out of the hospital, he required bed rest, the stitched gash and the arteries which were previously damaged, still shouldn’t be given much pressure, and so he had to stay another two weeks at his parents’ home, away from work, away from any heavy labor (or labor at all, except for stretching his arms and the occasional trips to the bathroom) all day long in bed. And it was all good. Since lying in bed all day long was by far his most favorite thing to do, he had hardly anything to complain. Over that time, he rebounded with his sister whom he hadn’t talked to an extended period of time, and then she offered to stay over at their parents’ house as well, helping out his parents’ who was now busy tending to their bed ridden son. Sung Jae went to school still, the first few days being taken there by Woohyun who reluctantly so agreed, and then once Eunji was better to be out and about on the road, her. Sung Gyu had thought she might be too shocked to be on the road again, but it turned out that she was a rather strong girl, and she totally didn’t mind driving again, hence she temporarily held the ownership of Sung Gyu’s glossy white Lexus. He was a bit vary at first, because the car had cost him a fortune. But she happened to be more a well-mannered driver than he ever was. Then after school, in the afternoons, either his mom or Eunji would prepare him his meals and deliver them to his bed, where he and Sung Jae would huddle together, either playing computer games or watching the latest episodes of the television series they loved. They went to sleep cuddling in his old bed like they did back in the days; it was warm and stuffy but nothing felt better than being with family; so for Sung Gyu, all was good.

One night, a couple of days after the accident, Sung Gyu and Sung Jae lied in bed, him trying to put the child to bed after a long exciting day of basically doing…well, nothing, because it was a Saturday. The two of them discussed what they could be doing the next day, and though it will certainly pretty much consist of activities Sung Gyu could do while being in bed, it was still exciting to talk about them. Somewhere in the conversation, then, the topic of Sung Jae’s mother popped up.

In all honesty, for the past few days, Sung Gyu had tried his best to not bring that particular topic involving Yoora up to the surface. Things have been too sudden to him, too many things happened all at once, and the sudden change of Yoora’s place in his life had taken a significant toll on him to the point that it borderline horrified him. On the other hand, he was still curious of knowing what could have happened that day when she had brought Sung Jae to his parents, but it appeared that both his parents, even Sung Jae had pretty much thrown the incident under the rug, pretending it never really happened, and so Sung Gyu himself didn’t have the heart to put incentives for that conversation. And also since Yoora herself had pretty much disappeared off the radar ever since Sung Gyu had told her off at the hospital back then, Sung Gyu didn’t attempt to contact her either. He figured, if things were going to be this way, then that was certainly for the best.

But then there was still one person in the whole incident who hadn’t entirely spoken out his thoughts. The one person who mattered the most. And now, he wanted to know the truth. He was sitting beside him on the bed, doing something or the other on his phone as a form of distraction, but his mind was dead set on their conversation. Sung Jae was telling him about their very first encounter as mother and son, and saying that Sung Gyu was mystified was an understatement. It wasn’t quite how he had planned for their first proper meeting to happen. For one, he was supposed to be there. But he could say that nothing worked out the way he wanted them to. Yet, hearing from his son, Sung Gyu felt that the way things turned out must have happened so for a reason. Had Sung Gyu been there, things would have played out a lot differently than they had now. He would have gotten increasingly possessive and perhaps even jealous, he would have seen Yoora as a threat of some sort, and the meeting would have eventually led to an argument, exactly what he didn’t want his young son to witness. Though by the sounds of it, Sung Jae hadn’t exactly a good impression on his mother upon their first meeting. Yet it was still a lot better than hating her entirely. Also, Sung Gyu decided that the way things turned out might have changed everything. Yoora was not the one who was there to destruct their relationship as father and son. She was there to form the family he had dreamed off all along. Or so he thought. And for this reason, he decided, that it was finally the moment of truth.

“…and she showed me photographs of a baby. She said it was me, but” Sung Jae continued and grimaced at the memory of the photographs he had seen, which made Sung Gyu laugh softly. “It didn’t look like me…it looked ugly”

“Sung Jae-ah” he said in a mild tone, giving the child a knowing look. “All babies look pretty much the same when they’re first born”

“Maybe” Sung Jae shrugged, his hands still skillfully playing the game on his phone but continuing the narration nevertheless. Multitasking; a skill he had acquired from his investigator of a father. “Anyway, she showed a photograph of you too, appa. With her on the beach…” He was quietly contemplative for a moment, and then added rather thoughtfully. “…Appa you looked different but I’m sure it was you”

“It was me, Sung Jae” Sung Gyu admitted, his voice soft and almost dreamy as he recalled the moment. He didn’t know what exactly the photograph was, but he and Yoora had been to the beach only a handful of time because of his chronic fear of water, which subsided later having spent time with her in the shallow oceans, even if it was only quite a few occasions. And each time was a fresh, new experience for the both of them. Sung Gyu was afraid of water, Yoora hated the sea weed tangling up around her feet; and that made them a complimentary pair, jostling around in water, trying to get over their fears and fill them with memories instead. Yoora was a sweet girl back then. Kind and understanding. Also, brave and determined, which was a strange combination in itself. The memories from those innocent times they had made him smile unconsciously to himself. “Those were good days”

“Hm” Sung Jae nodded distractedly, not really heeding attention to his father’s reminiscences as he still played his game and continued to retell his experience. “She said she was going to bring me to your office later, but then she called you and she said you were busy with work so she took me to her house”

He realized that it must have been the moment when the accident happened, as per what Eunji had divulged to him, but it was the mention of her house which immediately piqued Sung Gyu’s attention. “Really? How was her place? Did she treat you well?”

Yoora wasn’t one with lots of hospitality mannerisms at her dispense but she did know how well to treat a child when necessary. Sung Gyu didn’t expect much, but Sung Jae certainly had a lot to say.

It was only then he put away the phone to actually explain along with exaggerative motions of his own. “The house was HUGE!” Sung Jae exclaimed, his arms extended wide to show the size of it. “It wasn’t one like ours, appa, it was a BIG HOUSE! With a second floor, lots of rooms and a GARDEN!”

He already knew, being a popular artist, Yoora was quite well off. But a house with lots of bedrooms and a garden was beyond him. He would have thought that Sung Jae was exaggerating but the amazement inflicted in his eyes as he spoke seemed to explain it all. “There were lots of sculptures and paintings appa. She said she was an artist…” Sung Jae stated matter-of-factly and turned to his father for further clarification, which Sung gyu most heartily returned. “She is very talented” Sung Gyu nodded with a smile. “Yeah, she showed me all the paintings, and then she made me dinner as well. She made SPAGHETTI and she served it in a bowl that she PAINTED!”

“Really?” Sung Gyu widened his eyes at the intensity of the explanation and laughed, tousling his hair affectionately. “You liked it a lot there, didn’t you?”

Then, as though his rather exhilarant account didn’t matter, he only shrugged in response, returning to his usual, cool and macho self. “It was alright”

They fell into a moment of comfortable silence then, and while Sung Jae quietly returned to his game, Sung Gyu contemplated things. A lot of things. The truth of the matter was that Sung Gyu no longer knew where he stood now, who Yoora was to him, where he was headed to, and what decisions he should make. She had returned to him, and he’d thought things might be a wholly lot different. But Yoora was still pretty much the Yoora he had always known, albeit her wealth and popularity. He had thought she was threatening to pull Sung Jae away from him, or maybe even come between them and ruin everything; but her truest intentions have been very simple, not as complex as Sung Gyu had made them to be in his mind. All she wanted was to see her child. And knowing her, Sung Gyu should have realized that she would do all sorts of things and go to any measure to convince him to let her see him; also provided that Sung Gyu himself was incredibly stubborn and hardly ever gave in. It all made sense to him now, but still there was one thing which he still couldn’t come into terms with.

The moment that things significantly changed, so did his heart, and he was beginning to see her in a different light. He realized, with a pang that it was exactly what he feared. Sung Gyu, so far was unoccupied. His heart was still devoid of feelings for anyone, the only people he truly felt for were Sung Jae, his family, his best friend and then for some odd reason, Eunji. Eunji had somehow managed to break through the walls and ease snuggly into a corner of his heart for the kind of person she was. Eunji was loveable. She was sweet and caring and Sung Gyu always, always felt the need to protect her. One would have thought it was something completely different, that the strange, erratic beating of his heart and the inability he had to rip his eyes off her when she did the most effervescent, beautiful things might mean something else. But Sung Gyu was pretty sure that it wasn’t the case. There was no way that he would…fall for someone like her. Hell, she didn’t even stand in his league. She wasn’t his type. His type were people like Yoora. Strong minded, daring, adventurous. There were moments that Eunji too, was like that. But in Sung Gyu’s eyes, she was only someone so precious to him, someone so pure and important that he couldn’t imagine his life without. They didn’t necessarily have to be romantic emotions. They were purely…platonic.

But Yoora, god; she was beautiful and fierce and everything that he fell in love with so many years ago. His love for her, even then was as violent as the winds in her sails; and now, with every thought of her; they flourished. He was soon dreaming about him, her and Sung Jae. The happy family they always wanted, in her big fancy house and all her paintings and posh handmade cutlery-

But then, a thought occurred to him, one that he hadn’t really given much contemplation on. He soon turned to his son and grasped his small shoulder. “Hey, Sung Jae” He called softly.

“Yeah?” Sung Jae asked, still deep in concentration.

“The lady, did she have…any kids at home? Or…or a man?” Sung Gyu gulped hard after the question was out. It had been years already, and so many things could change within those years; and one was that that she couldn’t possibly be living in one such huge house on her own, that she could even be…married.

Sung Jae finally lifted his head, tilted it to a side, eyes narrowed and thinking. Then he shook his head. “There was a big ugly cat, though”

“Oh” Sung Gyu sighed. But she was well capable of hiding her private life from prying eyes, besides she was borderline famous so there could be a chance that she was hiding her family for good, but Sung Gyu decided it wasn’t anything to dwell on right now. Not when it seemed like things were finally falling into place. There were more important things to think about, more important details to fill. Most importantly, he had more significant details to disclose to him, a moment of truth to devise.

“Sung Jae-ah” he said mildly, brought his son even closer him and Sung Jae soon put down the phone once more. “What do you think of her? Tell me”

Sung Jae looked up at his father thoughtfully and furrowed his brows. “She’s very pretty” Sung Jae said bluntly, earning a hearty laughter from his father. “Of course, you’d say that” He told him and pecked him on his head before he composed himself. “Really, Sung Jae. When she first told you that she was your…mum, what did you think?”

This time, Sung Jae seemed to truthfully put a lot of contemplation to his answer. he was quiet and thoughtful, staring stark ahead, eyes narrowed, deep in thought. After a while, he awakened his voice, and this time the tone of it was what Eunji preferred to refer to as the Gandhi-reincarnated tone. “Appa I always thought my mum was in a different planet or a different universe that I never saw her. But when I really did, I felt that she really is from a different planet. An alien, a very pretty alien?” He smiled at his own thought, which soon morphed into a frown. “She’s different than I thought she will be. I thought all moms had short hair and smelled like chicken soup all the time”

Sung Gyu laughed at the mental image he developed and was surprised to realize that he could never imagine Yoora that way, but his mother, he certainly could. More than that, he was somewhat glad that the impression he had on his mother wasn’t exactly…negative to say the least. It wasn’t positive either. It was only the image that he had perceived his mother as upon first impression and starkly different from the stereotypical motherly image that he had developed in his mind. It wasn’t unusual. It was only childlike. And Sung Gyu was certain, it was bound to change as time progressed. Therefore, for him, there was nothing he could deem as problematic against him admitting the truth. So he took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and did exactly that.

“Sung Jae-ah”

“Yeah appa?”

Silence.

“Sung Jae, you realize that she is your mother, right?”

Silence again, and Sung Jae slowly nodded in response. At this moment, feeling overwhelmed with an overbearing amount of emotions bubbling in his heart and mind, Sung Gyu put both his hands around his son and pulled him to sit on his lap, facing him. He tried to smile softly, but there was something stopping him. Fear, perhaps? The knowledge that everything he had lived by until now were bound to change significantly from this point of time. Nonetheless, he decided to be brave. He simply gave in. “She is your mother, Sung jae, she is”

Sung Jae didn’t reply, still, scrutinizing him with his narrowed eyes, perhaps wondering how he must respond to him. But then how he eventually did respond, sent Sung Gyu spiraling down in a whirlwind.

“Then why did she leave us, Appa? You told me she left us because she didn’t want us anymore”

Upon that, Sung Gyu took in a long, sharp breath. The truth was, what he had told him back then was a spur of the moment thing which then stuck because it later became something which Sung Jae and unconsciously Sung Gyu too, had held onto the longest time. The only thought which gave them the answer they needed to hear but not entirely the answer which spoke volumes. Sung Jae was young back then, but old enough to see that most children, if not all, had someone called a mother by their side. Sung Jae didn’t have a mother, but he had a grandmother who didn’t exactly pass out to be the motherly image that Sung Jae had developed in his mind. At some point, during his mischievous, out-of-control phase, when his school teacher had asked for his parents to see her but only his father arrived, Sung jae had demanded, vehemently so, that he needed to have a mother like all children did. Sung Gyu didn’t understand at that time how little Sung Jae could have figured out that the lack of a mother could have somehow affected him. He didn’t know how he should answer either. It must have been the exhaustion at that time; exhaustion of raising a child alone, exhaustion of being bound by the gravity and the stigma of being a young, hopeless single parent, and then the anger towards Yoora, at himself and the rest of the world which led him to say the first thing that had struck to him. And somehow, it became the decree that they lived by, an assurance of some sort that the reason for her abandoning them was not their fault in any possible way but the fact that she didn’t want them anymore. Sung Gyu still didn’t know how accurate that notion was. But he didn’t think, either way, that her reason for abandoning them was exactly as what they’ve assumed it to be.

And now, many years later, to a more understanding, a more matured Sung Jae, Sung Gyu didn’t know how to respond.

“Sung Jae” he sighed, and gave him the sincerest gaze he could muster. “Back then, I was angry, I was silly and I thought she left us because she didn’t want us. But the truth is…I don’t really know myself?”

Sung Jae contemplated his words for a moment and blinked. “She said she kept wanting me everyday”

That was exactly the kind of thing that the Yoora he knew would say, and that, somehow, made him smile. “I’m sure she did”

“So…she left us not because she didn’t want us anymore?” He asked thoughtfully.

“If she keeps wanting you everyday, then probably not”

Sung Jae tilted his head, his narrowed eyes looking straight into his father’s. “Then why?”

Sung Gyu wished he knew the answer himself. He might, now, slightly so. He had an idea which wasn’t as concrete and evocative as he wanted it to be, but clear enough to understand that her struggles weren’t easy, that she was alone and afraid yet still wanted the child to spend a happy, blissful life.

His deft fingers played softly with the curls that had fallen on Sung Jae’s forehead, a sad smile playing on his lips. “We were young and a bit stupid, then we suddenly had you….” He sighed and pursed his lips tightly, his eyes baring into his son’s and then tracing him in the dark, a spitting image of himself from his childhood was now there in his own arms. How they’ve gotten thus far was still a miracle to him. “She was scared, I think. Scared of lots of things”

“Was she scared of me?” Sung Jae asked, pouting, in a small childlike voice, and the soaring atmosphere suddenly became bright again. Sung Gyu laughed in response. “No of course not!” He tousled his soft dark curls cheerfully, a wide grin spreading on his lips. “You were just a baby, Sung Jae, there wasn’t anything scary about you”

“I was red and ugly” He muttered under his breath, hanging his head, giving Sung Gyu the impression that he was convinced otherwise. Then Sung Jae looked up at him with widened bright eyes. “Were you and my mum married, Appa?”

“Married?” Sung Gyu reiterated questioningly.

“Yeah, like you and Omma dress up and invite lots of people and put rings, and then people cry and give you gifts-,” Sung Jae explained animatedly, his hands and mouth working in perfect sync as he tried to describe everything as how well he had perceived them. It was so cute that Sung Gyu found himself laughing hysterically. “You watch too many dramas, Sung Jae, people don’t necessarily cry at weddings! It’s supposed to be a happy occasion!”

“So, did you?” he asked impatiently, hopping on his lap, and Sung Gyu sighed, sagging his shoulder, feeling a bit helpless. His son sure had so many questions of his own. “Well, you can say that” he shrugged.

“Then…” Sung jae dwelled in his thoughts once more. “Does it mean you divorced too?”

“What?” Sung Gyu spluttered, bewildered. “Sung Jae, how do you know those things?”

“Because I’m smart” he retorted, looking all smug and full of himself like he always did.

“So, did you?”

And that was when Sung Gyu decided the conversation must come to an end; now that he had told what needed to be disclosed to him. What he knew so far was more than enough.

“Okay, that’s it. It’s time to go to bed” Sung Gyu announced as he listlessly lifted Sung Jae off his lap and tugged him into the bed beside him. Thankfully to him, Sung Jae simply complied, already having lost interest in their previous conversation and finding the need to sleep himself.

“Good night, appa” He mumbled, nestling against his father who had finally slid down to lay in bed. Sung Gyu turned towards his son, fixed his hair, brought his childhood quilt up to cover him up to his chin and placed a chaste kiss on a side of his head. Sung Jae’s grown significantly for his age, but still he was very much a child in his heart. A child a lot different from any other; he was strong, he was understanding, he was well aware of his surrounding and everything happening in his life. Sung Jae made his life easier, happier, and beautiful. More than that; Sung Jae, born a love child, was simply the most beautiful reminder of all the everlasting memories that they had.

“I love you” Sung Gyu whispered to him before he dived into the bed and closed his eyes. It was as he drifted off to sleep that he realized, the last thing he said might be directed to more people than one.

*

The first thing Eunji did upon waking up the next morning was driving straight off to the Kim’s. She had some exciting news to share with the others, and she just couldn’t wait until Eunmi was done with breakfast (she was still asleep; well, anyone would be, given that it was still six thirty in the morning) so she grabbed a carton of milk on her way, got into her sister’s car (usually it would have been Woohyun’s, but he was staying over at Bomi’s) and whizzed through the busy Ansan streets. Breakfast could wait, long hours of sleep could wait; but her excitement couldn’t. She’d achieved the best thing she has ever dreamed of in her life. Eunji’s been offered the student’s counselor-slash-ethics teacher position of Sung Jae’s school. And that was the kind of a big deal that seriously couldn’t wait.

Upon arriving at the Kims, she was relieved to find the gate open, otherwise she’d be stuck outside until it occurred to someone in there to open it. She guessed that Sung Gyu’s sister must have upped and gone on her morning jog on the Han river bank as usual (which was good in every way because Eunji was still pretty much avoiding that intimidating woman) and feeling delighted that things were actually working in the way she preferred, she drove the car inside, parked it in a flourish, ripped off her shoes as she hurried over the front porch and opened the front door with a crash without so much as ringing the bell.

“Mum? MUM!” Sung Gyu’s loud voice then echoed in the not so empty house. Eunji was pleasantly surprised. The Kim Sung Gyu she had known for over a year would never slip out of bed unless it was a working day, and on weekends, even if he’s awake (which was unlikely) he would always be in bed. But his voice was coming from the living room.

Missus Kim could be heard next from the direction of the kitchen, followed by her hurried footsteps. “Who would visit us so bloody early in the-,” She was cussing under her breath as she approached the hallway which immediately halted the moment her eyes fell upon their pleasantly smiling early morning visitor. “Oh Eunji-ah, it’s a surprise to see you here so early” She moved towards her and clasped her in a brief hug. “What brings you here? Did Sung Gyu call for you?”

“No” Eunji shook her head, hardly keeping in her excitement. In fact, she was already hopping on the balls of her feet. “I’m here to see him, actually. There’s something I want to tell him”

“That’s lovely” Smiled the mother, placing a warm hand on his arm. “Sung Gyu’s in the living room. He was complaining he was bored the entire time…” She lowered her voice and octave and moved forward, Eunji followed the same, thinking they were about to share a secret. “I woke him up to change the dressings of the wounds…he’s none too happy about that”

Ever since Sung Gyu was discharged from the hospital, either her or his mother was responsible of ministering the rest of his healing process, which basically involved changing the dressings of his minor wounds every day and disinfecting the stitch on his calf every two days until it would be taken off in a couple of days. Eunji had her own daily routine of reapplying the dressings every day, but still she didn’t make so much of a fuss out of it, unlike Sung Gyu who thought the world actually revolved around him. The thought only made her smile.

“Oh, don’t worry, Missus Kim, I can handle a grumpy boss alright” Eunji said in a cheerful tone, in hopes that the news she had to share that morning would somehow change his mind and well, maybe make his morning brighter.

“I’ll trust you with that” his mother responded, smiling and made her way back into the kitchen, leaving Eunji to skip off to the living room, the hop on her feet so evident that it almost made her look like a child. Then she stopped upon seeing a grumpy old Sung Gyu, very much shirtless, sprawled on his stomach across the sofa, listlessly changing the channels on the TV. Eunji’s excitement slowly drowned as the heat and the red of her cheeks raised. She had initially planned on launching on him, share her news with him with much flourish. But she definitely couldn’t do that with his crush now lying partially .

So she loudly cleared . But that did nothing to avert his attention; Sung Gyu threw away the pillow pressed against his chest rather violently and called; “Mum-!” But then halted, saw Eunji standing in the middle of the room, looking rather lost and then he yelped, scrambling towards the pillow that he shoved away. But Eunji’s already seen of him more than she bargained for. “W-what the are you doing here?” He hissed, his cheeks turning red as he pressed the pillow against him even further.

Eunji couldn’t exactly find her voice, and thankfully Sung Gyu’s mother was there for her rescue, soon standing by the doorway, looking at her son with a look of irritation on her face. “Sung Gyu, you should stop calling for me every ten seconds like that”

Sung Gyu looked mystified for a second, blinking at his mother as if she just said the most outrageous thing in the world which he could hardly process with a sane mind. “B-but mum she-,”

“She only wants to talk” His mother sighed and gave Eunji one of her warm smiles. Earlier on, it was always Eunji who had to face her wrath but now she was glad that the tables have turned and she was almost always on her good side. “Don’t mind him, he’s just bitter since he had to wake up early”

“Mum!”

Sung Gyu’s mother turned to face him and glowered in return. “Put some clothes on first” She told him, and left the room. It was Eunji who eventually calmed him down (which wasn’t easy. After all, Sung Gyu was never an early riser, and just like werewolves turned savage in the moonlight, Sung Gyu turned savage upon sunrise…or something similar) and also fetched him a shirt while he grumpily sulked in the living room, hugging a pillow and not really paying attention to the Ahjummas on TV who were applying pulped papaya on a lady’s face. Once he was settled, which took them a while, Eunji picked up two mugs of coffee for him from the kitchen (and shared a few words with his ever-quiet father) placed them on the small table and sat in the sofa beside him.

Sung Gyu picked up his own mug with a mumbled “thanks” and sipped from it quietly as he turned down the TV. Eunji figured, the morning grouch hasn’t entirely worn off, which meant that he wasn’t going to speak anytime soon, leaving the responsibility of carrying out the conversation solely on her.

“How have you been?” She asked him, and he nodded unenthusiastically, his voice hoarse as he answered; “I’m okay” a moment of quietness and he turned to gaze down at her, perhaps the first time he properly looked at her for the entire day. “How about you?”” He asked.

It was only then a smile eased onto her lips. “I’m fine, I’m great, I’m fabulous!” She sang cheerily, and Sung Gyu looked mildly shocked at her response, which soon morphed into an amused glimmer. He scoffed, leaned back and gave her a soft smile. “What’s that all about?”

Eunji’s grin widened as she settled comfortably in her seat, turning to face him wholly. “I’m here with the most exciting news ever!”

“Yeah?” Sung Gyu raised his brows judgingly “And that is…?”

Eunji took a deep breath, straightened her back, completely indifferent to the scrutinizing gaze he was giving him since she was totally aware that it was soon going to change and said in the most composed voice she could muster; “I, Jung Eunji, am going to be a school counselor and…behold, an ethics teacher!” Towards the end, her voice turned into an excited squeal; she ended it with a small jump. And then she stared at Sung Gyu expectantly, but all he did in response was just stare back at her, an unreadable expression on his face.

You’d have thought he’d be excited for her, happy for her. But what he appeared to be capable of giving her was a rather glum look. Eunji was…disheartened, to say the least.

“Um…Boss?” Eunji prompted in the end, when she couldn’t take any more of the prolonged silence, and it was only then that he seemed to snap back. Eunji couldn’t believe that he dared to drift off to a daze at a moment like this.

“Oh, err…” He hesitated, trying to find the right word, and gave her a gentle smile, a smile which didn’t exactly reach his eyes, a smile which wasn’t really his usual, contented one. “That’s great Eunji, congratulations!” And his voice. Even his voice just didn’t sound the same. Initially, Eunji thought her mind was playing tricks on her. But then the more she looked at him, the more evident it became. Sung Gyu wasn’t happy for her. Sung Gyu wasn’t sharing this moment of excitement with her. He was…she couldn’t tell what exactly he was at that moment. Yet, whatever it was, Eunji was discouraged by his reaction, even more so when he seemed completely indifferent to her predicament.

Her shoulders slumped, her face fell, and she pouted in utter dismay, suddenly feeling like a failure. The truth was, more than the need to find herself a job and, well, move ahead in life, what Eunji truly wanted to do was be someone admirable, or just be someone that Sung Gyu could look at with that perpetual glimmer of pride in his eyes. Eunji’s seen it myriad times, when he’d looked at Sung Jae when he’s done something appraisable, at Woohyun when he’d managed to pull through his everlasting sour moods, and even at Yoora, at the mention of her when she’d told him how she’s saved his life. As of now, as far as Eunji was concerned, she was the only one in his small circle of company who had failed to earn that look, that pleasure from him. When she had heard of her newest achievement, the first one she thought of was Sung Gyu. After all, it’s been suggestion as well for her to find herself a job. He told her that she had potential, continuously prompting her to follow a profession to do justice for her education. But now, at the moment when she had finally achieved it, Sung Gyu, the man she wanted to make happy he most, looked gloomy as he’d ever be.

But then…but then it occurred to her. Their promise, or rather, what Eunji had made him to promise her, their deal to let Eunji baby sit Sung Jae after school without a payment, much like a favor from her part. Was that what he was being sour about? Eunji wordlessly scanned his face, now as he quietly sipped from his coffee, the light from the television screen shining in his eyes, trying to find a trace of annoyance; but there was none, and what she could see on him, she couldn’t exactly relate to what she had assumed to be the course. And then another thought occurred to her. With Eunji finding herself a job, Sung Gyu would no longer have a baby sitter, nor the domestic support that he’d been getting from her for the past year or so. Sung Gyu was rather weak and dull when it came to running house hold work, and her leaving would probably mean that the two of them would scarcely have a proper home cooked meal, a fulfilling breakfast, clean clothes…amongst so many other things. And that made perfect sense for her a a reason for him to look so down. Given the state that he was in right now, when he’d move back into his own home, he would certainly need help around his daily errands, but he would have that no longer.

Eunji gulped hard then, set her mug down on the table and cleared .

But then he did too, and both of them spoke all at once.

“Boss I-,”

“Eunji actually-,”

The both of them stopped mid-sentence, and stared at each other, his eyes filled with the kind of wonderment that she couldn’t really fathom the cause of, and Eunji, on the other hand, flustered and turning slightly crimson by the moment. She cleared yet again, composed herself and nodded at him with a stony look. “You go first, boss”

Sung Gyu shook his head. “No, you do”

“No, it’s okay” Eunji shook his head, but then Sung Gyu glowered, albeit gently, but it still chilled her to the core. “Eunji, please be my guest”

And she did. She gulped hard, nodded stiffly, and told him the first thing which came to her mind. “Boss, if you’re…upset about me leaving without finding you a replacement for a baby sitter, well…I-I will find one myself, and I won’t leave…until I do”

Sung gyu took a long, patient breath, and it appeared as if he was trying to keep agitation under control, even as he spoke. It was evident in the fire burning in his eyes. Eunji had stepped on a wrong fuse.

“Eunji, by any means, you were not a housemaid of some sort, you were only there to take care of my child, and that does not necessarily mean that I have bound you to any kind of responsibility. I’ve told this to you before, and I’m telling you this now too, since you don’t seem to have grasped it yet”

Eunji stared at the other for a moment of stunned silence, and inside her, something snapped. She felt like her heart was bleeding. It was supposed to be a happy moment. They were supposed to share the joy of her newest, perhaps the only achievement in years, together; not morph it into an argument. She couldn’t understand why he had to make things so difficult to her. What’s worse was that she didn’t even stand in the position to ask him that, make amendments, try to gather reasons, anything but silently retract from the occasion and imagine that it never happened. She was heartbroken.

Perhaps this was how it was like to love Kim Sung Gyu. Maybe it was what Woohyun was trying to tell her all alone. He did tell her that Sung Gyu’s heart had changed; or was it that it’s always been that way? Maybe Sung Gyu was in love with Yoora the whole time, and refused to take one step back into the past in the fear of history repeating itself. The thought prompted her gaze to immediately fall onto where the collars of his shirt parted, revealing the platinum chain with three stones aligned. She didn’t know where it came from or how much it probably meant to him. But as of now she was pretty sure that it had a deep history and a long connection to his past. The past, which has now resurfaced and become a massive, impenetrable barricade on her way. Yoora’s arrival had changed everything significantly, and that made her feel tired; hopeless, and even though she’d sworn to herself that she’d change anything she felt as if all she’s said and done were for nothing.

Dejected, she finally nodded to herself a couple of times and decided it was time for her to leave. Her hands were brought into her lap, head hung low as if in shame of her own words and thought, and she cleared . “Well, then-,”

But Sung Gyu interrupted her; it was as if he wasn’t going to let her go just yet. As much as she desired to stay in his company, especially at a time when he needed that and comfort the most, Eunji didn’t think her heart could take this anymore. But she relented, just for that once.

“When are you starting, Eunji?” He asked her, and strangely, his voice and even the look in his eyes had become milder.

“Tomorrow, actually” She answered timidly.

“Okay, then” he nodded, and then suddenly, much to her surprise, a small smile appeared on his previously cold and stony face. “Ah, I guess I must hold onto the promise we made…”

He met her eyes at that, and she could swear she saw a playful glint in them. Had she given up on him the moment when he’d given her the cold shoulder, she realized, at that instant when his smile finally reached his eyes for the first time in the day, her heart sturdily picked up from where it left.

“W-what…?” Eunji asked, her voice almost a whisper, and Sung Gyu shrugged in response, though his smiled never left.

“…trust Eunji to forget the promises that she’d come up with” He chuckled to himself softly, and her heart began to race even harder. She remembered. What she asked of him that day when she had initially told him about the vacancy in the make-shift tent in their living room. And apparently, he had remembered it too.

“Oh…” Eunji mumbled in the end, and when he laughed, Eunji’s cheeks turned red.

“Well, only if you’re willing to” Sung Gyu added in the end, his glinting eyes bearing deeply into hers, and she felt herself shrinking inwards as if to protecting her heart which felt like it was about to burst. “Besides, Sung Jae’s been-,”

“Of course, I am!” Eunji exclaimed too suddenly and too loudly, which left a moment of stunned silence behind, during which Sung Gyu seemed mildly shocked, but amused, a smile threatening to form on his lips, which soon morphed into a full-fledged cheery laughter. The sound of his cackles soon filled the room, reminding her so much of the pleasant chimes of the church every morning; soothing, beautiful and refreshing. The gloomy thoughts from moments ago had soon waned into the wind, and she found herself smiling along with him.

“I’m willing to” Eunji added, softly this time, smiling still, and thought of the prospect of her going to school and coming back home with her second favorite person in the world in her company. “Besides, we will be at the same school anyway so I can take care of him the whole time so it’s a win-win, I guess?”

Sung Gyu smiled at her gently, his eyes crinkling on the edges and it looked so mesmerizing, even though that smile didn’t quite reach his eyes; because it was genuine, it was pleasant, and she could watch him like this the whole day. But then, as always, Sung Gyu had to go ahead and ruin it.

“So, what does Howon say?” He asked her, completely out of the blue. It caught her off guard at first, since him asking her about Howon was completely unexpected. But then it also made her smile falter and disappear completely, realizing that there were more than one person standing between them, and one of them being one she had brought into the picture herself. More than that, she didn’t realize she had revealed to him of where they were. She had a vague memory of mentioning Howon at a moment of panic but she was certain it didn’t give away anything. But then, as if he took note of her chagrin, Sung Gyu gave her a long, knowing look over the rim of his mug. “I know…about you two” He told her in a thick voice as he set his mug on the table. Then he added as an afterthought. “Woohyun told me””

But judging by the way his eyes continuingly shifted, Eunji felt as if there’s more. She couldn’t quite figure out what, because Howon was someone who was well capable of compartmentalizing his work matters and life and that eliminated the possibility of him telling them. But then Eunji left it to be dwelled upon at a later time.

“Well…” Right now, she had bigger fish to fry. Eunji timidly pushed a fringe of hair behind her ear and looked up to meet his eyes…which carried an emotion that she cannot exactly pinpoint. “He’s alright, I guess”

The truth was that Howon didn’t even know what her truest occupation was. He did know that she worked for Sung Gyu as a baby sitter, but he didn’t know the bit where it was her day job (and sometimes the night job) for the past year. In his mind, she’s a professional in child mental health, and he’s asked her no more. So, telling him about her new job would only give him the impression that she’s shifted jobs, which wouldn’t be as a big deal as it was between Sung Gyu and her.

“I’m sure he expected a girl with a nice, steady job” Sung Gyu, who had no idea of the truth, carried on; and it must have been her but there was maybe a slightest tinge of spite in his tone. It was him who wanted her to get a job the first place all so that her prospects of finding a suitable marriage partner would heighten; if that was the case, why would he ever get worked up about it? Eunji blamed it on her hazy mind, still. She was imagining things; and in her mind, he appeared to be jealous of her new change in life, but she was sure, in reality, he was completely indifferent, as if it was something which happened to just another person in his life. In response, Eunji just smiled though it never came from her heart.

She knew that Howon was more or less a rebound for her, for a relationship she’s never had. Maybe he was an escape, a second choice when the first and the most important one would fall apart. She was also aware of how determined he was to set her heart in the direction he desired, but in the same manner, Eunji was determined to change the direction of Sung Gyu’s heart. She wasn’t certain of where they all would end up, someday, and she hated to think about it as well. All she could do, at that point was smile, albeit sadly and accept every blow and punch which came on her way.

“Howon is a nice guy” Sung Gyu continued, his eyes looking far ahead, past her shoulder, into the garden through the parted French windows; the look glimmering in them, unreadable. “He’s kind and pretty stable. He’s got a side to himself we don’t really know of…despite knowing him” A small, fond smile cracked on his lips, perhaps at a memory of him that he’s suddenly recalled. And then he said it; “...His purple-loving side. He’s a true depiction of a mummy’s boy”

Soon, once his reminiscence had ended, he turned back to face her, smiling yet again, a forced one, for a reason unknown. “As long as he makes you happy, Eunji. You truly deserve the best”

“I-I-,” Eunji opened to respond to him at that, but she was cut short for both the reasons that she didn’t know what to say to him and also because he had decided to end the conversation there. He gave her a brief look but no time to speak as he gathered the empty mugs in his hands and stood up.

“Mum?” He called as he made his way out of the room, his grey shirt mismatched with sweatpants and his pinked bare feet padding softly against the marble floor. “Mum! MUM!”

The sound of his mother fussing from the kitchen could be heard, followed by his voice which was making unmistakable cute noises in response. She’d known him to be quite attached to his mother the whole time, but Eunji hadn’t thought it went to that extent. But the sound of his cute pouty sounds made her smile.

‘’Who’s the mummy’s boy now?” She muttered under her breath, though the smile on her lips was warm, and all for him.

*

A week later, when Sung Gyu was finally able to slip back into his normal self, he returned to his eleventh floor condominium and continued with his normal life. There were a several conditions, still; all set by his mother in order to avoid further accidents (and Sung Gyu doubted if there ever will be any) so for the time being, he was to stay away from driving at all cost (and his mother had pulled some strings with Woohyun so his car will be with his best friend) and was always to take a taxi to work and drop Sung Jae off to school.

As for Sung jae, well, he also has pretty much returned to his typical lifestyle, picking up from where he left since the accident, completely indifferent to the new changes in his life. For the most part, he was delighted by the fact that he no longer had to face his loathsome homeroom teacher. After the incident which later led Sung Gyu into a major road accident, the teacher had experienced her own amount of personal pressure that she had decided to resign and retire from her career as a teacher on her own accord. The reason was obvious, certainly; and Sung Gyu was glad that he didn’t even have to take legal action against her himself. After long and deep discussions with the baby sitter, they both decided to let it slide and soon tucked the whole incident under the carpet, to be lost in the ashes of their past. Their lives mood on in a leisurely pace, thus; finding happiness in the little moments in their lives. Sung Gyu lived by the rules of finding pleasure in the moment, so the fact that Yoora had been missing for considerably long didn’t irk him much. He did think about her at odd occasions, mostly when he’s alone in bed at night and his mind would involuntarily drift off onto thoughts of her; wondering where she was, how she must be and when he would see her again. All the other times were spent with either his parents or with his son and also Eunji who as promised, would be there every evening after school. It was a comfort for him to have her as his sole distraction in a time so difficult for his mind. She kept it at peace with all her perfect ways. She knew how to maintain a good conversation and always made him happy; either with her splendid cooking or with tales from work which were enjoyable to hear, especially in her soft, enthralling voice. It helped him keep his thoughts at bay, always from drifting away in search of things and particularly people he didn’t want to wonder about. He missed her still; Eunji, that is. He missed seeing her at his door step every morning, he missed her loud bickering and complaints during breakfast. He missed her grumpy goodbyes when they left in the mornings; it was almost as if the house was empty upon waking up; even the sound of their feet louder than voices echoing in the house. It was Sung Jae who seemed affected the most. At some point, Sung Gyu wished he could ask her to keep them in the mornings at least, but then he realized that’s been his truest problem the first place; the fact that he was unhealthily attached to her, that he had to stop it. So convincing himself that he as only setting incentives for something better, he decided to try get used to the sudden change. And then there was Howon who was suddenly getting particularly snappy and irritant at him though he was significantly elder. Howon didn’t look very happy himself, although Sung Gyu had expected him to be other way around. But Howon’s always been rather peculiar at dealing with his emotions, so Sung Gyu simply blamed at him getting bad at compartmentalizing things ad simply left it off the hooks.

Life passed by, likewise; slowly, leisurely, pacifyingly. Summer was slowly approaching its peak with days getting warmer. The days only became prettier, and it was suddenly a beautiful time to be living and, and also to fall in love. Sung Gyu, at that point, had thought that his life was gradually loosening its complexities.

But then, as always, the storms had to strike. Somewhere around that time, Yoora returned.

*

The soft pink petals of cherry blossoms were raining from above her as Yoora sat in the shadows, away from people, away from prying eyes; waiting. She’s done a lot of waiting, since recently. It’s been almost a month since she started. She has waited at varying spots around the school; in the waiting (ironic) room, the garden, the car park, the café a few feet away but overlooking the school grounds, and so many more. She wasn’t one for much waiting, though. In fact, it was one of her least favorite things to do. But that particular waiting, she did for a reason. And that reason, at that very moment, was approaching through the endless cherry petal rain.

Yoora has always thought that Kim Sung Gyu had rather beautiful hands. They were soft, but strong and capable. There was a time in her life when she’d thought that he carried the entire universe in them. She’d thought that it was their purpose, that god had carved such perfection only so that they could hold that weight. And now, as she watched the figure appearing through that tender pink fall, she realized, she’d been right all along. Sung Gyu did carry her entire universe in his arms. Sung Jae, their son, was comfortable nestled within them.

She waited quietly, patiently until it was time. She hadn’t found the right time during the wait she did the past few days, and she’d only returned home with a heavy aching heart and the image of him imprinted internally in her mind, like a photograph which she’d keep stored in a corner of her heart to recall. She was tired of doing that, now. Today, it was going big or going home, ending it for good; or starting it, in that case, whatever it was. Yoora was tired of watching him and not owning him. She was tired of not being brave enough to take that one step back in time. So today, she found that courage in her heart, gathered her bearings, and watched from behind the shadows of the vast expanse of the school as a beautiful scene unfolded.

As always, Sung Gyu was giving his goodbyes. It was always, always the same. He’d carry the slightly too tall child in his arms, set him on the ground only when they’ve reached the main entrance and crouch down before him, a warm, mesmerizing look in his eyes. Yoora knew that look so well. Love, care, affection and promise, all of them depicted in one single gaze. He’d gather the child in both his arms and fold him into an embrace; brief, if they were short of time but usually longer, if they had enough at dispense. Then he’d pull away, fix the soft locks fallen over the child’s eyes and smile warmly at him, his eyes forming crescent moons and disappearing into the apples of his cheeks. “I love you” He’d tell him afterwards, and Sung Jae would soon take off in a sprint, only to stop at the door and turn back to his expectantly waiting father. “I love you too!” Sung Jae would then reply.

It was always, always the same. Yoora loved it, nonetheless. She loved watching them. And now, she wanted to be a part of them.

That’s the resolve she grasped in her hands when she finally pulled herself out of the shadows, approaching the retreating man in an urgent pace. He was already outside the gate, now making his way towards the waiting taxi. She had to catch him before he left; yet she was already too far. Yoora, nonetheless, wasn’t one to give up. She gathered her courage, thus; cupped with both her hands and loudly called his name. He halted, stood still for a brief second, and slowly turned towards him. The look of pure astonishment and bewilderment on his face made her smile delightfully. She’s caught him this time around, and he waited for her, patiently until she approached him. Yoora didn’t hesitate once as she pressed a hand on his arm upon reaching him. Sung gyu was quiet but he gave her a questioning look.

“Can we talk?” She asked.

Sung Gyu nodded stiffly, and the next moment he had soon sent the taxi on its way.

The two of them silently walked down the pink-littered sidewalk, both deep and entangled in their own thoughts. Yoora didn’t know what he was possibly thinking. Nor could she read through the stony, impenetrable expression on his face. His brows were furrowed deeply, lips n a thin line. Yet the way his dark hair swayed softly in the breeze, his tie and jacket rustling and dancing when they walked gave him an ethereal aura. Yoora saw the man she fell in love with in the one who now walked beside her, and she fell in love with him all over again.

And then, much to her surprise, he stopped. The wind rushed past them the moment he turned to her; and unperturbed by his hair getting in his eyes, he still stood before her; a presence so strong and overpowering. Yoora raised her head and their eyes met. Sung Gyu was the one to speak first. “What do you want, Yoora?” He asked her, and her heart fell upon catching that hurtful tone in his voice. “I thought we did all the talking we needed”

“Yoora was quiet for a moment, wondering how she should approach the conversation, and finally opted to let out a sigh. “I only wanted to know how you’re doing” She told him sincerely.

And that seemed to soften his hard expression, to an extent. It didn’t simply wane off, but it was still enough for her. “I’m okay. I’m alright” He assured her.

“And Sung Jae?” She pushed on.

Sung Gyu exhaled loudly and tousled his head, looking as if he already wanted the conversation to end. “He’s alright too…but Yoora” He said, his voice thick and almost exasperated. “can we stop beating around the bush and be honest for a second?”

She too, felt like it was exactly what she needed, so she nodded in response. “Okay”

Sung Gyu turned to face her completely, and gave her a heavy gaze. “You already had your chance to see him, didn’t you? Just…why are you here?”

Yoora bit on her lower lip, hard, hard enough to stop herself from carelessly blurting out ‘You’. She managed to shrug in response, keeping her stance intact. “I just wanted to make sure you’re okay myself, that’s it”

“And I suppose you got the answer to that as well?” Sung Gyu pushed on.

Yoora looked at Sung Gyu; from his glimmering eyes to his soft porcelain skin, the slight tint of his cheeks to his raven locks of hair, the shoulder’s she’d depended on, the arms she’d cried in, then to his chest where the heart she loved lied underneath. He was okay, alright. He was more than okay. But that wasn’t entirely why she was there. She just stared up at him, gazing into the depths of his soul and trying to read right into him, but the barricade he’s built around him was too high for her to reach over. And he himself, was done playing the game, whatever the game she was playing at.

“I have to go” He announced to her, hurriedly turning away, putting an end to their conversation before even it started. They weren’t done talking. No, they couldn’t be. Not just yet. Not until she’s told him everything that she wanted him to know. Yoora was faster. Her reflexes were always fast and she knew. Just as he was turning away from her, she reached over and grasped his shoulder in a soft grip. Sung Gyu stiffened, still turned away from her but he didn’t attempt to move; not even as she smiled warmly and reached over to pluck off the pink petal which has fallen on his shoulder. Just as she did, another fell on his slowly swaying hair, then another, slightly brushing past his cheek. She watched him for a split of a second, her grasp loosening, and she let her hand trail down his arm; the arm which now carried her universe in them. Her hand, then, eased slowly into his, entangling their fingers together; allowing them to fit perfectly against each other as they have always had, so many years ago. Only then his eyes averted. He glanced down at their entangled hands, then lifted his gaze slowly into hers. She smiled, and when she did; it was affectionate, but mysterious all the same.

“Sung Gyu…” She whispered and gently squeezed his hand. “It’s not only Sung Jae that I want back…”

Hello!

First off, anyone who feels the things are not going accordingly in the story, heads up, they're going to change and we still have a lot to go.

Also,
This chapter is dedicated to Ena, my best friend on AFF for, how long? well, for years; here's for our undying love for infinite and GyuJi and also secretly loving Woohyun perhaps a little more than Gyu. I love you and I will always be your comfort in good times and the bad. We're in this together. I hope you will find your motivation to write again, and I will always patiently wait for you until the day we can take this path together like we used to.

On an end note, thank you for everyone who patiently waited for this story, and for loving it and loving me; for being concerened about me as well. I'm happy and in good health and its rainy and cold over here but I'm starting a difficult semester at school so you will have to wait longer for the next update, sorry in advance!

Oh, and also, I hope everyone is safe from the cruel natural disasters; my prayers are with you.

Lots and lots of love,

Achini.

Ps; Just so you know, I love writing Gyu-His mum bits the most!