I uploaded this chapter earlier but took it down again for several reasons. 1) I wasn't satisfied with it. 2) For the first time ever, I messed up the chapter planning and was compelled to add more to this and do two long parts, but then decided it was better to divide it in to two seperate chapters instead of two parts. 3) I am a whiney, emotional potato and expected lot's of lovely reactions because everyone was expecting an update but when I did update, nobody has viewed it the whole day, and my confidence kind of died. But then I recieved loads of kind, lovely messages, so here we go! And I'm sorry for being really emotional over readers and stuff. Please read the author's not at the end.

Since recently, Sung Jae has been finding it difficult to understand his father. It wasn’t like he was becoming a math equation or one of first graders’ drawings or anything. It’s just that…he always seemed to get mad at everything. Sung Jae remembered how he promised him that he’d never get mad at him again, but since that day, Sung Jae’s appa got mad at him approximately (A new word he learned reading detective novels) twenty-five times, yelled at him nine times, slammed the door close two times and gave Sung Jae time-outs five times. He supposed that his father wasn’t a keeper of promises after all. He was glad he hadn’t done the pinky promise with him, otherwise it would have been rather embarrassing.

Sung Jae wasn’t being naughty or mischievous either. He was always a bright and cool kid. He never got into trouble (except for that one time he put the hair scrunchies of a classmate into the elevator and sent it to the fifth floor, and Oh! Also, that time he accidentally-not-very-accidentally fed a drawing to the class tortoise and it nearly died. But his dad didn’t know about these things. Only baby sitter did because it was her who spoke to the teacher both times) and he worked hard at school as well. He didn’t ask his father to buy him expensive things or treat him to delicious food. He even changed his mind about getting a pet puppy because his father was scared of them. He just really didn’t understand what he was getting mad about all the time. Sung Jae thought he was getting some sort of a sickness in his head. Stress or cancer or whatever.

Like, that one time when he was in the kitchen, drawing something in his sketchbook while his appa worked on his laptop while eating some berries, Sung Jae was thinking hard about what to draw and was tapping his pencil on the table. He liked doing that. It helped him think. But then his appa got irritated and started yelling at him to stop. Sung Jae was startled, to say the least. In fact, he gave up on drawing anything on that day altogether, and he decided he would never do any drawing ever again. His appa will sure be upset that he crushed Sung Jae’s dreams. Then there was this other time when he and baby-sitter built the NASA in the living room with sofas, sheets and some paper planes which they called the rockets and shuttles, and the two of them were reenacting the time when the Challenger crashed. It was pretty good. Even baby sitter sounded very much like someone from the NASA, announcing what’s happening to the shuttle while Sung jae ripped a paper plane to bits while standing on a stool. But then his father came home from work with messy hair and a long coat, his face dark and somber, and started yelling again. He said that they were wasting paper, that he should be doing homework; not playing silly games and ‘What on earth is my dressing gown doing on the lamp?!?’ (It was baby-sitter’s idea. She thought it looked like a rocket. Sung Jae didn’t tell him, of course. He didn’t betray people) To be perfectly honest, Sung Jae was upset. He thought his dad would become a good person, but then baby-sitter said that he was getting old, that’s why he got mad all the time because old people get constipation which meant that it was difficult for him to use the toilet all the time, which made old people very irritant. But Sung jae wasn’t really buying it. Old people didn’t dip bananas in jarss of peanut butter. Old people didn’t use star-wars bubble bath. Sung jae’s appa wasn’t old. He was just a meanie, that’s what it was.

So, he made a plan. His dad wasn’t getting any cooler. If anything, he was getting all mean, boring and irritant. He didn’t even play video games or tell him many detective stories at night. So, Sung Jae decided to run away from home. Not just today or tomorrow though. Not in this week either. He and baby-sitter bought this new brand of Ice cream yesterday, and they had an almost full container of it in the refrigerator. Also, he really liked this new drama on the TV about this really strong Ahjumma who could lift cars with her hands, and he was afraid wherever he ran away to might not have a TV. The people who run away go to cottages in country-sides or construction sites as far as he was concerned. He wouldn’t run away now, but one of those days, he really would.

And he was pretty sure he wouldn’t get to do much running away tonight either.

Tonight, he was at a dinner at some big, fancy restaurant with one of his father’s ‘clients’, someone he had helped by solving a big case. Sung jae wasn’t sure what it was, but he heard it involved someone trying to kill another person with a golf racket. He found it rather funny, especially considering that the person who they had tried to kill looked like the Fujiyama mountain. He wondered how one could kill this person with a golf racket. He would have used a toaster or something instead.

He was really bored. The restaurant was big and fancy with waiters in waistcoats and tall candles and roses on the middle of the table. His father was in a suit, so was he. There was a lady with weird hair which Sung jae thought was a wig or a killed furry animal perched on her head, and one measly kid with big hands and no neck because his chin made up half his face. He looked kind of like a smaller Fujiyama mountain. He didn’t like these people. But his father had told him to sit like a good boy because this dinner was important. He had listened to their conversations too, while buttering some bread rolls, and all that the person who got hit with a golf racket had talked of so far was about his holiday house in an island or something. Sung jae also wondered just how important knowing about this house on the island was. He wanted to go home. And he kind of wished that the baby-sitter was there.

If he had counted it right, his father had snapped at him two times for the day. It was Saturday evening, and while they were getting dressed, his father snapped at him to wear a suit instead of saying it nicely, like he had a ticking bomb in his mouth, ready to blow at any moment. When they arrived at the restaurant, when they met the golf-racket people, Sung Jae had stared at the big people with wonderment in his eyes, unconvinced that people so big did actually exist. Then his appa snapped at him under his breath while maintaining a grin, telling him he was being rude. It wasn’t his fault that these people were so big. But his appa just kept getting upset. It was bad enough he had to attend the dinner the first place.

When the main course of the dinner arrived, Sung Jae finally stopped eating bread rolls and prepared to get distracted with something else. The steak looked so yummy, he couldn’t wait to dig in. But when he looked at his father, he looked like he’d have Sung jae for dinner instead. He retracted his hands and pouted. It was bad. He really should run away.

“Thank you for the meal! We’ll eat well!” Said his father in a lowly firm voice. “We’ll eat well!” Followed the no-chin kid and his mum. Sung Jae kept pouting and when they started to eat, he too dug in. He hadn’t much knowledge on table etiquette however. He was making too much of noise with the table utensils, hitting them on the plate and on his glass of water a couple of dozens of times. At one point, he was trying to poke at a piece of broccoli with a fork, but then, much to his disdain, it flew right across the table and landed by the mini-Mt.-Fujiyama’s hand.

The table went quiet as if he just committed an unforgivable crime. Sung Jae placed his utensils on his plate rather loudly, one slid off the plate, then the table and onto the floor by his feet. Sung Jae could feel his father just seconds away from erupting.

“O-oops!” Sung Jae folded his hands on his lap, and a second piece of a utensil slid off his plate and onto the table, staining the clean white table cloth with the oil from the steak.

Though he had expected his father to snap again, he didn’t. He still looked like he was a time bomb which would erupt any moment now. Sung Jae had had enough of getting snapped at, getting time outs and feeling like he had done something very, very wrong. But what could he do? His father may be getting old and having difficulties of using the toilet or whatever; but he was all he had.

His father didn’t pay him much attention after a kind waiter had given Sung Jae a new pair of utensils. Sung jae ate as quietly as possible. He didn’t even dare make a chewing sound. But he had significantly lost his appetite. Sung jae only finished half of his steak, left most of the vegetables untouched, and distractedly munched on a buttered bread roll as his dad paid lots of attention to the mountain man and the lady with a dead possum on her head. He was all smiles and nice with them. Sung jae pouted and pulled at the bread in his hands miserably. The only person his dad wasn’t being nice to, was him.

Dessert arrived a few minutes later after the waiter had taken their dirty plates. Sung Jae wiped his hands on a napkin, and patiently waited, surreptitiously watching the raspberry ice cream and cheesecake with pastry concoction being placed before everyone on the table. The big Ahjussie was now telling his father about his car, which was an expensive one unlike the one his father drove and all Sung Jae could wonder was how he even fit into the seat. Maybe they’ve made cars with big seats and large driving spaces for big people like them. The lady was cooing at the mountain kid, cooing at him while wiping ice cream off his chin. Sung jae watched the scene unfolding before him for a second and let out a sigh. Maybe mums weren’t as bad as they think they were. The lady wasn’t even getting mad at the kid, though he had pretty much smudged raspberry ice cream all over his face, large chin and his shirt. He averted his gaze and ate his own plate of dessert, trying to blend into the wallpaper and not think about his father who had seemingly forgotten him.

The last bit of Ice cream was always the worst. It melts, it’s no longer cold, and you could never get it all on the spoon. Sung jae tried in every angle to carefully get as much as he could onto his spoon, along with the remaining bits of pastry and cheesecake, but it kept slipping, and he was frustrated. He put his spoon down, took a deep breath and picked it up again. With is tongue sticking out from the corner of his mouth, Sung Jae tilted the dessert plate a weeny bit to the side and tried to scoop everything up in one go.

Disaster. It was a disaster. Everything slipped, yet again, some of it fell onto the table, and when he panicked, he let go of the spoon which resulted it to fall right into his lap, staining his jeans all raspberry pink, and fall onto the floor with a clutter. When he looked up, now scared for his dear life, it was happening again. Everyone in the table was staring at him as if he just threw everything on the table at someone’s face. Sung Jae appalled, and didn’t dare steal a glance at his father. The lady, who was previously wiping the kid’s face was looking at him with a face so scary that Sung Jae almost hid himself under the table. Then she made a weird smile and looked at his father. “Seems like he hasn’t learned his table manners well, hm? Shame, he had to grow up without a mummy”

Suddenly, there was a sound of a chair scraping against marble, and Sung Jae knew it was his father. “Please excuse us for a second” He said, and though his voice sounded all nice and friendly, Sung Jae knew that it was far from it. That was when it got the scariest. Like how werewolves turned into wolfs in the full moon.

Sung Jae flinched when he felt an arm on his back, and his father hissed at him to come with him. Sung Jae pouted, his eyes downcast. He was so scared that he really wished baby-sitter was here to save him. But she wasn’t, and his dad was lightly pushing him through the plethora of dinner tables in the direction of the washrooms. Sung Jae was pretty sure what he felt right that moment was how these people in history books felt when they were being taken to the guillotine.

*

Sung Gyu pushed open the door to the men’s rather harshly and led his son inside before kicking the door close behind him. He was seething and exhausted. There was a huge stain of ice cream on Sung Jae’s pants, also on his crisp white shirt which he was certain would be hard to wash off, and a look of pure horror in his eyes. It was what Sung Jae had been looking like since recently; startled, horrified, his tiny eyes widened like Bambi and his face appalled, looking as if he was expecting his father to beat him up any moment now. But Sung Gyu couldn’t do anything about it. He couldn’t help it. He was tired.

Tired of people telling him things. Tired of turning a deaf ear. Tired of acting as if everything was doing well and nothing bothered him while in reality, everything was wrong and he was drowning in a pit of misery.

He picked Sung Jae up and perched him up on the sink before aggressively pulling out a handful of paper towels, holding it under running water and started dabbing at the stains on Sung jae’s clothes. The words from the woman earlier was running in his mind on and on like a broken record. ‘Shame, he had to grow up without a mummy. Shame, he had to grow up without a mummy, Shame, Shame…Mummy’

Sung gyu threw the used wad of paper towels into the bin nearby and ran a hand through his neatly done hair, turning it into a bushy mess. “Sung Jae, how many times do I have to tell you to behave, for god’s sake!”

No, he shouldn’t even get mad at him. All he did was spilling some ice cream on his clothes. All the kids spilled Ice cream on their clothes, they all did.

But they all had a mum, a mum to teach him table manners and wipe their mouths when they messed up. They all had a mum to rely on when times get hard. They all had a mum to be with when his father couldn’t be around. They all had a mum to teach them table etiquette and how to behave in a crowd which he had, most certainly, failed to give him.

Sung Gyu normally didn’t react this way. He hardly ever acted up when Sung jae misbehaved; he always took his side, as a father, seeing it all as something coming from an ordinary little boy. All little boys disobeyed. That’s what made them children, and he was accepting of it. Then Yoora started stalking him with her manipulative phone-calls; the root of every bit of his bitterness.

It started out months ago, back in the times he was seeing Hwayoung. The messages weren’t as frequent as now, back then; and he had profusely ignored them, assuming it that someone’s gotten a number wrong, or had landed his number from somewhere and was playing him. It was possible, provided that he had handled quite a number of cases of many companies and agencies, even for private clients except for the ones they got handed over by the local police station. But then, things got worse. It turned out that it was indeed Yoora, who revealed herself over a particular drunkard phone call, and the messages simply converted into calls and voice-mails, all provoking him and pushing all his boundaries in the worse possible ways. The thing about Yoora was that, being an artist, she was so awfully attentive. It was so easy for her to read people right off the first page, and had you known her long, she’d probably know you like an open book. The worse of all was that she’d always know the exact buttons to push, whether it is to aggravate you or distress you or even make you feel great about yourself. Sung Gyu knew it himself; she was twisted, she knew exactly what cards she had to play. And back in the days, Sung Gyu loved her for that.

But not anymore.

Sung Gyu sighed and reached for another handful of tissues, realizing that there was absolutely no point in waiting for Sung Jae to respond. He was horrified, and Sung Gyu hated himself for being this way. He knew that the problem never lied in Sung jae. He was still young; he could hardly understand how this world works. The problem lie in him, in Yoora, in the damned woman who had to see fault in his child; it lied within the rest of the world.

With every breath, he counted, and tried to calm his nerves. He shouldn’t lose his temper so often this way; it was hurtful in more ways than one. It was energy consuming, it ruined his day, it took away his happiness, and worse of all, it slowly jeopardized the bond he had built with his only child. Once he concentrated on the task in hand, he felt somewhat better. With a slightly damped bundle of paper towels, he wiped off the stains on Sung Jae’s pants, and on the edge of his shirt where it was tucked in. Sung Jae used to be chubbier, and Sung Gyu liked it better when he could feel the slightly protruding tummy under his clothes. In a matter of weeks, however, Sung Jae had lost quite a lot of weight. He was getting skinnier, taller; he showed the prospects of reaching puberty in the same way Sung Gyu did when he was younger. Their days together were getting shorter. Sung Gyu sighed and threw the last sheaf of paper towels into the bin and washed both Sung jae’s hands in warm water before he placed Sung Jae back on the ground.

“Go ahead, Appa will come” He said to his son and washed his hands himself. But Sung jae wasn’t moving. He just stood there, looking slightly dazed, his hands clutched before him, and Sung Gyu lost his patience, yet again. “I said go on, Sung Jae!”

Sung Jae finally moved, keeping tiny steps as if he was walking on egg shells. He looked the same that he did whenever Sung gyu made him go to his room. Apologetic, and tiny. Sung Gyu sighed and turned back to the sink, and stared at the mirror before him. His reflection seemed to say thousand stories he failed to speak out himself. There were dark shadows under his eyes, his skin was pale, and his cheeks had gone down to the point that creases of old age were showing at such a young age of thirty-three. And the look in his eyes…

He shook his head and tried to put his deranged hair back into place. His life could be in shambles right now, but he still had to look presentable to the people whose life he saved (and who paid him in return, with gratitude) even if the said people were crap.

Upon pushing open the door, Sung Gyu halted, his hand still on the door handle, eyes widened at the unexpected sight before him.

Sung jae was animatedly conversing with an awfully beautiful woman. Her dark hair was neatly set in a perfect chignon, bangs fallen lightly over her doe eyes. Her legs were long and elegant, and she was clad in a loose silk shirt and a fitting skirt a few inches above her knees. She smiled beautifully, her hand rested on Sung Jae’s shoulder as if she had known him forever. It took him a moment to realize that it was nobody else but his employee, Jung Eunji. Giving her a Cinderella moment sure did go a long way.

Sung gyu cleared his throat and stepped out of the men’s rest room, and Eunji immediately stood back, smiling at him gracefully that he could swear his heart did all sorts of funny things.

“Hello boss!” Eunji greeted cheerfully. “Fancy seeing you here”

Sung Gyu blinked. He would have thought, judging by Eunji’s usual feisty and often childish persona, she would look extremely out of place in a rather posh and sophisticated venue as this. It was quite unbelievable that she blended in with everything so well.

“What are you doing here?” Sung gyu asked and stepped towards his son.

Eunji shrugged. “Well, um…it’s not important…”

Sung Gyu took a second and a closer look at Eunji’s attire. New, expensive shoes. Fancy garments, neat hair, smoky dark make-up which didn’t even look odd on her (in fact, looked splendid. Sung Gyu was duly amazed) and was that…was that glitter in her hair?

It didn’t take him much to put two and two together, being a detective and all. Jung Eunji was on a date.

He somehow found the thought exceedingly amusing. Who was she even trying to impress, dressed like this? Once her true self came out all that smoky make up and fancy shoes would simply go down the drain.

Yet again, it was kind of odd…this feeling. There was a sharp, heavy thorn spiking through his heart. Who was she trying to impress? And why?

Just why did she have to put that glitter in her hair?

“Eunji-Ssi, there you are” A deep voice called from behind them and Sung Gyu whipped around, only to see a man, just around Eunji’s age with tanned skin and a deep set of eyes standing behind them. His dark hair was neatly set, his suit seemed grand and expensive. Hell, he even smelled expensive. Sung gyu wouldn’t lie; he felt slightly intimidated by the very presence of him.

“Oh” Sung Gyu turned to face Eunji, and noticed the evident flush on her cheeks. “Yoo Seung Ho Ssi. I was just about to come”

The other person smiled, and even his smile looked expensive and elegant. Sung Gyu reached out and took Sung Jae’s hand. He felt like he was interrupting something mutual. Suddenly it was him who felt incredibly out of place.

Sung Jae, being the prim and polite little lad that he’s been raised into, immediately bowed deeply at the new comer. Sung Gyu retrieved his hand and nodded at the other man since he obviously looked a few years younger than him, and stood back.

Yoo Seung Ho too, bowed at him, and he ruffled Sung jae’s wavy hair with a chuckle. “Hello, little one!”

“This is the child I baby-sit, Seung Ho-Ssi” Eunji made the obligatory introductions. She gestured at Sung Gyu, and he nodded. “This is his father, Kim Sung Gyu”

“Nice to meet you” Seung ho politely took both Sung Gyu’s hands in his and bowed slightly. Once the introductions were done, they soon parted ways, Eunji promising him to be at work the next day. Sung gyu was in a daze, nonetheless, dazed by the highly unexpected encounter. For one, he never expected Eunji to be out on a date, with such an exceedingly handsome man at that. For the second, he never expected her to sport the elegant chaebol’s lady look quite so naturally. She always looked like the ordinary suburban girl who occasionally lost her mind and did things wrong. It was strange, seeing her this way.

They returned to the table and the dinner night continued then on. Sung Gyu had lost his appetite nonetheless; every time he took a glance at his son, who was staring blankly at his folded hands on the table, his heart fell through the floor. Sung Gyu hated that things had to be that way. He’s never been strict on Sung jae. For him, the child had always been the baby he’s first held and fell in love with. He’s always thought, whatever he did, whatever the silly mistake and little experiment which eventually landed him in trouble were phases of his childhood, letting him grow. But that night, over a simple phone call, Yoora had pointed out the truth. She was his mother after all, and mothers had their instincts. If her motherly intuition told her that her son hadn’t been raised well, then it all came down to Sung gyu and him assuming that everything the boy ended up doing was his childish experiences, and he was wrong. Had he continued to do this to him, he would have ended up raising a child who’d be excused to every little and big wrong thing he did.

Once the dinner had ended with minimal conversations shared between them, Sung Gyu and Sung Jae took their leave. Sung jae had school the next day, and since he had woken up early that morning to complete some school work he had missed out on, he was already in a drooping stupor, barely holding up. Sung Gyu let go of his tiny hand and finally carried him in his arms. He couldn’t carry the child like he used to. The boy was so long that his feet practically went past Sung Gyu’s knees. Sung Gyu was tall himself, so it was quite hard to believe that his son had grown up so soon. He bid farewell to his clients by the entrance of the restaurant, and by then, Sung Jae had already fallen asleep in his arms, his head resting on his shoulder and short, even breath and small whimpers escaping his lips. After waving good bye to the clients, he turned away and let out a long, frustrated sigh. More than anything, he’d been dying to escape that woman’s scrutinizing gaze. She looked down at Sung jae one too many times as if he was a badly spoilt child. Sung Gyu couldn’t say any better about their son either. If anything, that boy’s been fed everything he’d asked for, given everything he’d desired. Sung Gyu might not be the most perfect father out there, but he could tell a spoilt child from miles away.

He pressed a hand on to the back of Sung Jae’s head, carefully balancing him in his arms, and took one step at a time. He could hardly see his feet in the dim light, and had to stop and look where he was going every two seconds. When he had reached the foot of the stairs, however, he was soon startled by the most unexpected person he had thought he’d meet at this time of the day.

“Boss!” Eunji called and emerged from the dark, dressed in a thick white coat, her hair still in that sophisticated chignon, smiling softly.

Sung Gyu took a step back, startled by the intrusion. “Miss Jung?”

Eunji stepped towards him and shrugged. “I saw you coming down the stairs, so I waited”

“Waited?” Sung Gyu echoed incredulously and looked around himself, searching for the handsome man who accompanied her earlier. “Where’s your date? Did he go to get the car or something?”

A small, sad smile appeared on her lips, indicating that he had asked her the wrong question. “Ah, he had to leave early. He works at a high-profile law firm and he was called in for work”

Sung Gyu raised his brows and hopped a bit on his heels, trying to balance the still sleeping child. “So he just left you here?”

“He called a taxi for me and paid for it” Eunji mumbled slowly, averting her gaze as if she was too embarrassed to meet his eyes. “I…asked the taxi to go” She prodded at the ground the tip of her heel, her eyes focused on her feet as if in defeat. “I…I thought I might be able to-,”

“I’ll give you a ride” Sung Gyu offered without thinking twice. The truth was that he was baffled by the kind of actions that her date had done to her. High profile lawyer or not, there was something people refer to as ethics and mannerisms, especially when it comes down to treating a lady. He might still not be a perfect father; but he wasn’t one to leave a woman stranded on the road in the middle of the night. Ansan was far from his home, of course. But moral values for him, were more important than the exhaustion which was creeping up inside him.

“N-no! it’s okay, boss. I can call Woohyun…”

“Woohyun’s on a date” Sung Gyu reminded her as if to make a point. “And he sure as hell wouldn’t leave his date on the road with a taxi. Come on”

“B-but!”

“No buts, hurry up” Sung Gyu called from over his shoulder as he walked ahead of her. He halted for a second, listening closely if he could hear her footsteps behind him, and once he heard her step down lazily across the gravel, he smiled the slightest, and continued down the road.

The ride through the serpentines Seoul streets was silent, both lost in their own worlds while Sung Jae slept soundly in the back seat. Eunji had let down her hair off its painful chignon and Sung Gyu rolled the shutter down for a reason he couldn’t fathom. Seeing how her long, dark main of hair danced in the wind like silent angels, somehow, made him realize what his truest purpose was. She’s taken her shoes off, and even if her skirt had drawn up, revealing her pale thighs, she didn’t seem to have taken notice of it, as if she was truly comfortable in his company, as if he was no stranger to her, to hide herself from him. As if she trusted him, as much as he trusted her. Yet, tonight, she was beautiful, mesmerizing. All the worries, all the frustrations which muddled up his mind washed away through the short span of time he spent with her in this quiet, cold night. She has always had that effect on him. Her company was comfortable, the very sight of her pacifying, the words she said, reassuring. With a small smile spreading across his face, Sung Gyu finally tore his eyes away from her and focused solely on the road.

The ride didn’t take them as long as Sung Gyu had expected, since it was late and the traffic was minimal that night. Sung Gyu parked the car in front of the familiar gate of Woohyun’s family house and switched off the ignition. The car fell into complete silence.

“So” Sung Gyu spoke first, his deep, soft voice ripping through the quietness. “I don’t suppose Woohyun’s in yet”

“No” Eunji shook her head, her eyes averted, avoiding his eyes for some reason. Sung Gyu nodded, and to cut short their awkward, unexpected encounter, he unbuckled his seat belt and reached for the door. They were both tired and it was indeed strange to be meeting this way, outside of work or in a less congenial environment, thus being awkward around each other was inevitable as it was. If anything, Sung Gyu wanted for the night to end. He wasn’t sure how he should decipher the strange signals his heart was giving him at that moment, especially when his eyes landed on her and though involuntarily, fell upon her legs which were revealing too much for him. Perhaps, he had had one too many glasses of champagne; nonetheless, it wasn’t normal at all. Eunji, however, seemed to be thinking differently. Even though he had already taken to make a move; she hadn’t. She remained firmly planted in the passenger seat, twisted around slightly, her eyes fallen on the sleeping child on the back. Sung Gyu followed her gaze, and although his heart melted by the sight of the discomfort his son was in, he had to set it aside for the more insistent matter as of now. He cleared his throat. “Miss Jung”

“Boss” Eunji interluded, all of a sudden, and her voice was firm, authoritative, even; like she was a teacher talking to a parent. “Boss, there’s something we need to talk about”

Sung Gyu blinked, unsure of what could it possibly be for them to talk about in the of the night. “Uh, okay”

Eunji turned to face him, and there was a look of concern clouding her eyes. “It’s about Sung Jae”

“Sung Jae?” Sung Gyu repeated, although he recalled the moment when his son was happily conversing with his baby sitter just outside the rest rooms, exhilarated that he was meeting the closes friend he had at unlikely circumstances. Then he thought of the unhappy situation that he had walked out of, having been told off by his father for the umpteenth

time of the day. Sung Gyu sighed gravely. “What about him?”

“Well” Eunji pursed her lips, staring ahead at he darkness of the road ahead thoughtfully. “It’s something that I have noticed myself, the past few days…also when I asked Sung Jae..” She trailed off and cleared . “He never speaks bad of you, boss. I haven’t met a child like him who had so much of faith on his parent. You know, some just tattle on their parents left and right, they see fault in them. But Sung Jae doesn’t. He never does”

Sung Gyu felt his throat tighten in remorse. The truth was that he knew it, he knew it all. Sung Jae could be mischievous, always searching for adventure. He was curious, he was loud, frisky, well spirited amongst so many things; and deep down he knew that spoilt was never one of them. But what could he do? Sung jae grew up without a mother in his life, the only person he had close to a mother figure was his grandmother, who, aside from treating him as if she was his whole world, had a completely different impression on child rearing. She treated her the same way that she did him, all those years back, and that didn’t suit for a child of this generation. In this respect, Sung Gyu had thought the intuition that Yoora had on Sung Jae was more accurate. Sung Gyu knew her, and her impression on things were almost always accurate. Then how could she ever go wrong when it’s about her son? She may not have raised him, but she gave birth to him, regardless.

In the quietness in the car which Sung Gyu hadn’t dared to fill, Eunji still continued to speak. “Sung Jae seemed genuinely crestfallen today, Boss. I don’t know what happened, I don’t know what ruined his spirits. I asked him a few times; even after so much of prodding, all he said was that ‘I made appa mad’” Eunji sighed and shook her head in disapproval. “It’s not an observation only he had made. I have noticed it too. You’re so irritant these days, so tensed, so edgy. And I know it’s not work, because then Woohyun would have told me…If there’s anything-,”

“It’s Yoora” Sung Gyu confessed before he could stop himself. He had figured during Eunji’s elucidation that there was no point in trying to keep it from her. She was more or less an accomplice in this debacle now, he had dragged her into the predicament without her consent, and she had let him. In a way, it was comforting, to have someone by his side to rely on. And relying on her was what he did, searching for solace by relaying the entire ordeal to her, no details left out. Eunji had turned to face him now, all her attention directed to him; her ears perked up, eyes gazing solely at him, prepared to be his reliance. Sung Gyu sighed and ran a hand down his face, exhausted.

“She’s been…talking to me over the phone” He confessed, and let a moment of silence pass before he continued. “She’s been telling me things. All sorts of things. I suppose she was only trying to patronize me, break my confidence as a single parent. But I couldn’t help finding some of those things to be true”

“True?” Eunji furrowed her brows. “Which ones?”

“Well, mostly about Sung Jae” Sung Gyu muttered darkly, everything that she had told him already echoing in his mind. What was worse was that he had listened to her, attentively, foolishly; he had let himself believe them to be true. He trusted her. He trusted her as Sung Jae’s mother to be telling the truth. And perhaps they were.

“What about Sung Jae?” Eunji pushed on.

“She’s talked to his homeroom teacher apparently. She’s told her about him. You know Sung jae doesn’t have a very good relationship with the homeroom teacher”

“That’s because the homeroom teacher is evil” Eunji said pointedly. “Boss, there’s nothing wrong with Sung Jae”

“Well I don’t know” Sung Gyu sighed and threaded his fingers through his hair. “She’s his mother. She knows the best”

Eunji ignored him. “What did she say?”

“That he was a spoilt child” Sung Gyu retorted curtly. “She says that he hasn’t been raised well”

He spoke his mind out to her, repeating everything she had told him that night, from how badly he has been raised to how Sung Gyu would have to suffer eventually if Sung Jae continued to be raised solely by him without a mother. ‘Have you seen how children go completely out of hand when they hit their teens, Sung Gyu? Young boys become intolerable. Some make friends with the wrong crowd. Some do drugs, some leave school to follow their dreams only to end up with absolutely nothing to rely on. Will you continue to let Sung Jae grow as he pleased? You’d always sum it all up to being adventurous, expression and all that crap. But when you do realize that it has indeed gotten out of your control, well then, you will already be too late’ and in an end-note she had added, patronizing him even further. ‘And whose fault will that be? The father who raised the boy without a mother, Sung Gyu’.

“She’s trying to provoke you, Boss” Eunji said once Sung Gyu was done with his account. He was leaning against the door with his hand propped up, staring out at the darkness of the late night unfolded before them; a street light flickering far on the road like a lost firefly. “Maybe you shouldn’t have listened to her"

That’s exactly what his conscious had told him, repeatedly. He knew, deep down, that whatever Yoora would tell him, would do to him, she did out of spite, with resentment, as a way of venting her anger and to provoke him to the point he would give in to her quest. Sung Gyu was a pushover. He had to admit to that. He was an easy target and Sung Jae was his biggest weakness, the point she could go on attacking until he’s hurt and bleeding, eventually letting her have her ways. But then again, there was a little part which said that he might be wrong. Sung Gyu kept recalling that night, the pained look in her eyes when she spoke of what she had to go through, only to give birth to the child whom Sung Gyu indeed would have given up in the very beginning. Sung Gyu couldn’t help but believe that she had been right all along. Though Sung Gyu couldn’t remember much how he had been back then, he was indeed ambitious, he had a plan, he had his ways, and he wouldn’t have relented if his ex-girlfriend came to him, heavily pregnant and begging for his help. He would have walked away, or worse, gotten the baby aborted. In that sense, Yoora had a say in raising the child, regardless of having left him or not. Yoora left the baby for a reason, and she hadn’t left him with just anyone. Sung Jae was with his father. Did that simple act of her sensibility not give her the right to be his mother? Criticize him if he had raised the child wrong? That’s why Sung Gyu had trusted her instincts; because, spite or not, a mother could never stop loving her child.

“Eunji” He heaved a deep sigh and pulled away from the door to face the other. “Yoora has a right to look out for my son as much as I do. She’s his mother” Sung Gyu’s voice was small, tired, exhausted. But he knew that this was the inevitable truth.

“The mother who left him” Eunji made a point. Her tone was grave and the sincerity she was projecting in her eyes sent a sting down his spines as she spoke to him next, every word carrying a heavy weight, plunging right into his consciousness in all the perfect ways. “Look, Boss. I don’t see anything wrong with Sung Jae, and I have been with him over a year now. I might not be his mother but I had basically raised him for a year and he’s fine as any kid his age is. But Yoora-Ssi, she’s only seen him coming out the school gate, she’s only spoken to the homeroom teacher who anyway doesn’t accept this whole arrangement of single parenting and so has developed some sort of hatred towards you and Sung Jae. Maybe Yoora-Ssi has a right, as his mother. But she has no place to make claims on the boy without knowing him. I have been with Sung Jae. I have been with you. Then I am in the place to say it that both you and Sung Jae are absolutely fine, and also not to let her force that kind of bull into your mind”

When Eunji moved away from him, breathing deeply after having spoken non-stop, trying to knock some sense into him, Sung Gyu suddenly started seeing her in a new light. All of a sudden, it was Eunji who had the right to say anything about Sung Jae, other than himself, all for the fact that she’s the one who’d been with the child night and day. She’s raised him, she’s watched him grow. She’s seen Sung Gyu in his best times and the worse; even though it was for a year, it was still a long time comparing to how long Yoora had been with Sung Jae. Nine months of carrying him in her, a month of raising him; could that be summed up enough to grant her the opportunity to judge anything? For Eunji, the time she’s been with Sung Jae certainly did. Sung Gyu looked over at the other and felt a pang in his heart. It’s been this way since some time back. He couldn’t recall when it has started, but Eunji has suddenly become a significant presence in his life. His reliance. The one person he ran to when the things got out of hand. The one person who understood him. Perhaps it was that. Perhaps it was how he was finding every little thing about her so compelling. Whatever it was, Sung Gyu was certain that he was starting to develop the kind of fondness he had never had on anyone else, ever before.

“You’re right” Sung Gyu said in the end, finally ripping his gaze off her and cleared his throat, lest his voice came out in a little croak.

“Hm?” Eunji turned to face him.

“You’re right, Eunji” Sung Gyu repeated, firmly this time, with a little more resolve. “Maybe she indeed doesn’t have the right to say anything about Sung Jae” he opened the gates to the inevitable. “But certain things she said are right. I couldn’t, I wouldn’t deny that”

“What things?” Eunji pushed on, looking concerned.

Sung Gyu remained quiet, realizing that he was yet again dragging Eunji into the wrong end of the affair. Woohyun’s voice was echoing in his head, and he had promised him, he had promised himself. Eunji shouldn’t know. It will only lead to more shambles, more confusions, and as much as her opinion on this mattered to him, she didn’t deserve to be a part of this mess, of which Woohyun already was. For some reason, the feeling he had carried for Yoora, how things had been between them had to remain a secret from Eunji. She had to be left in the dark. For Eunji, he had to be the mighty and proper Sung Gyu he had always been, although she had seen the most vulnerable sides of him. Above everything, he didn’t want her to feel threatened by Yoora’s existence in his life. What Eunji already knew about them was just about enough.

“What things, Boss?” Eunji prodded, but Sung Gyu shook his head, finally responding to her. He stared ahead, yet his eyes were distant, glassy. “Nothing, just…just things from the past”

“About Sung Jae?” She inquired.

“About both of us” Sung Gyu replied.

In the prolonged silence which ensued afterwards, Sung Gyu assumed that Eunji had already gotten his message of being reluctant to say no more. Everything that he wanted to divulge on her, however, were on the tip of his tongue, straining to break through. Was he indeed a terrible father? Would he have been what Yoora said he would have been? Would he have really destroyed his child, or even had the intention of doing so, just so he could save his skin? All these thoughts whirled in his mind like a hail storm, pushing to break through, searching for the answers from the one person whom he believed to understand him more. He could have confided in his mother, but then she would have gotten overly sensitive about it. He could have asked Woohyun, but he was still mad at him for not telling him about Yoora’s return. And he couldn’t blame him. Sung Gyu had drifted away from his best friend drastically, and Woohyun, who always put him in a pedestal, must have felt terribly belittled by his actions towards him. The crevise between them had expanded over the time they have been apart from each other, and Sung Gyu was uncertain of what he could do to build the bridge back between them. In that sense, Eunji was all he had to speak to. But no, he had promised Woohyun not to drag her into this, and Sung Gyu, himself, was a keeper of promises.

“Whatever it is” Eunji said, all of a sudden, dragging Sung Gyu’s attention back to her. When he faced her, he could see an iota of hurt in her eyes, perhaps imagining that he didn’t trust her enough. Sung Gyu trusted her, immensely. But what he was about to tell her were exactly the bits that she didn’t deserve to know. Eunji gulped roughly, her face impassive as she spoke. “Whatever it is, boss; I want you to know that you have done a great job in raising Sung Jae on your own, and that’s something you got to be proud of” She stopped and heaved a long sigh. “And also, whatever Yoora says, whatever she does, the fact that you and Sung Jae are doing well together shouldn’t change. She’s been away from you for so long, and you two did well without her. So, for no reason should you let her come between the two of you…”

Sung Gyu genuinely softened as she spoke, regardless of how stern she sounded to be. Eunji had good intentions, she always did. She saw the best in the worse of him, she saw the best in Sung Jae almost all the time. And if this is what her instincts were telling him, then that’s indeed what he would believe, because he trusted her.

“I trust you” Sung Gyu mumbled before he could stop himself. He sat straight when he realized he had sounded odd when saying that. Eunji was stricken. She had immediately drawn away from him, so to make the situation better, he cleared his throat and picked up the impassive employer stance he had dropped. “I mean, I trust your instincts. After all, it’s your expertise. And I believe you know the child a lot better than I do”

“Of course I do” Eunji said, sat back, and scowled. “And to be honest, boss, I hate Yoora. I hate her” The look on her face was almost adorable that it made him chuckle softly. “Okay” He said and let out a sigh. It’s been a long night, and they’ve been conversing in hushed voices for quite a time already. When the lights flickered on behind Woohyun’s tall gates, Sung Gyu realized, that it was time for them to part.

“Well then…” Sung Gyu started, but Eunji interrupted him.

“Boss”

“Hm, yeah?” Sung Gyu raised his brows, and Eunji held his gaze, firm and long.

“I understand that you’re under a lot of pressure right now” Eunji began, choosing her words rather carefully. “But I really hope you wouldn’t vent your anger on Sung Jae anymore. It’s better if you didn’t take whatever Yoora said to your heart…but” She sighed and shifted in her seat, an implication that he already had, despite what she hoped for. “Nonetheless, if Sung Jae did something…rash again, just tell me right away. I know you’re his dad and everything. But I just want to help, and, you know….” Eunji struggled with her words once more. She pursed her lips and looked up to meet his eyes. “All dads lose their temper on their kids. That happens. But most kids have a mother to run to, when that happens. For Sung Jae, however….” Her voice trailed away, disappearing into oblivion, and Sung Gyu, immediately understanding where she was headed to, gave her a soft, understanding smile. He filled in for her. “All he has is you”

Eunji hesitated, and slowly nodded her head. “Y-yeah…that”

Sung Gyu nodded in return, not feeling offended by her words, not even the slightest. She was right. It wasn’t unnatural that he lost his patience on his son. Although Sung Gyu was naturally a calm person with lots of patience at his expense, there was a handful of times when he lost his cool completely and snapped like a twig in the winter wind. He remembered how it was in his own childhood. The jovial and mischievous Sung Gyu had always made his father lose his temper more times than ones; and it was always, always his mother that he found his solace when things got out of hand. Just like the last time, when Sung jae naturally went and curled up in Eunji’s arms when Sung Gyu’s last string of patience sprang, it was indeed her that he had to run into.

“Okay” Sung Gyu said in an end note, nodding to himself. “The next time Sung Jae do something naughty, it’s his baby sitter that I’m going to catch”

A smile cracked on Eunji’s lips at that, and she looked at him with twinkling eyes. “That’s for the best I guess”

The two of them bid good bye afterwards, and Sung Gyu climbed out of the car after her to walk her to the gate. Eunji had to ring the buzzer a few times, regardless of the lights being turned up inside the house. While they waited, Sung Gyu stared at Eunji who impatiently walked from one end to the other her face distorted. Something was bothering her. She didn’t look so disoriented if otherwise. Sung Gyu took in her stance, and thought back to the events of the night. Indeed. Her date. Her date with the handsome but extremely busy lawyer who left her at the restaurant with nothing but fair to a taxi. Sung Gyu reached over and took Eunji by her arm. She halted, looking surprised. Sung Gyu took a cautious step towards her, and then stopped, trying to figure out how he should initiate the conversation. He cleared his throat.

“That…that guy from before. The lawyer person”

“Seung Ho-Ssi?” Eunji questioned, her voice sounding mildly stricken.

“Yeah him” Sung Gyu nodded, and met her eyes. “Well, is he -? I mean, are you two going out?”

A small smile appeared on Eunji’s face. “Wait, you mean like…boyfriend?”

Sung Gyu nodded quickly, trying to seem as unaffected as possible.

Eunji raised her brows. “Why do you ask?”

“No, nothing…just-” He shrugged, yet just before he could say anything, footsteps started to echo on the gravel on the other side of the gate, and Eunji’s attention was soon grabbed by the intruder to their conversation. The gate slowly dragged open, and a dark mop of hair stuck out the gate, followed by a familiar face, and Sung Gyu held his breath.

It had been weeks since Sung gyu last spoke to Woohyun. They’ve been avoiding each other the whole time at work, two ships sailing in two different oceans, barely passing by each other. Sung Gyu hadn’t the strength to approach Woohyun. He was exhausted by everything that’s been happening in his life and he was afraid that anything he would say or do would derail their relationship even further. Woohyun, on the other hand, was too prideful to admit anything let alone apologize. It was only right that they had a time out from each other. A break. But tonight, the sails of the ships had indeed led on the opposite directions, bringing them to meet.

Sung Gyu stepped away from the gate and tried to give a slightest of a smile. What he got in return was a look of bewilderment as Woohyun stepped outside the gate. Sung Gyu had thought Woohyun hadn’t returned home yet. Otherwise he wouldn’t have gotten out the car. He would have dropped Eunji off and fled away.

“Heol! What on earth is this?” Woohyun addressed him with a disgruntled tone underlying his voice, his eyes looking up and down at Sung Gyu, taking in his appearance in a smart suit and messy hair. Woohyun turned to Eunji. “He was your blind date tonight?”

Blind date? That’s what she was on? A blind date?

Sung Gyu knew that it was highly questionable of him to feel that way, as well as highly unprincipled; yet he felt quite relieved that it was probably going to be a one-time thing. Although the idea Woohyun’s questions gave out to him, he found to be quite unsettling.

“NO!” Eunji denied loudly, flailing her hands in the air with a miserable look on her face, as if the very idea of a date with Sung Gyu repulsed her. “Boss just happened to be at the restaurant I went to, today, with Sung jae and a client” Eunji explained patiently. “And my date left me since something came up at work, and boss just offered to drop me home”

“Oh” Woohyun said, blatantly unconvinced, nonetheless, and gave Sung Gyu a rather accusing look. Sung Gyu didn’t like it. He didn’t like it at all. He had just offered the poor girl who was abandoned at the restaurant a ride; he didn’t deserve this kind of ill treatment from anyone, let alone from his best friend.

“Anyway” Sung Gyu decided to take his leave, realizing that he had already lost his chance to tell Eunji what he was planning to tell her earlier. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Miss Jung” He bowed at Eunji lightly, and gave Woohyun a stern look. “Then”

“Hrrmph” Woohyun grunted in return, only giving Sung Gyu a polite bow before disappearing behind the gate. Sung Gyu stared after him, feeling his heart falling through the floor. The man he used to be the closest to, his most trusted companion; he had lost him forever in the wake of his ex’s return. Sung Gyu felt his throat tighten at this thought, wanting more than anything else to reach out to him.

“He’s just being a hissy” Eunji suddenly cut into his thoughts, and when he looked at her, she was giving him a look which carried nothing but empathy. “He’d come around, boss. You know how he holds grudges forever”

“Yeah” Sung Gyu sighed, turning back to the gate which was now half closed, the lights from the garden seeping out from where it was ajar. “I sure hope so”

Once he returned home, Sung Gyu parked the car in the underground lot and waited in the dark for solid five minutes, trying to gather his thoughts. On one hand, he had lost Woohyun over an ex-girlfriend debacle, certainly not the best issue to start a fight over, after years of everlasting friendship. On another hand he had lost his patience at his son and now the boy had fallen asleep in the back, still in his hurt disposition. There was a plethora of text messages in his inbox, all from Yoora, screaming for his attention and diligence to respond to her, as if his past self and negligence had given her the leeway to make his life even more miserable. Just a few minutes ago, his parents were on the phone, asking him of his well being, and of course he had lied. He had told them that he was doing absolutely fine, though he was truly far from it. And this gave them the indication that it was alright to make it the moment to talk about how he had avoided talking to his younger sister for over a month now. All of them had filled his mind, and his head felt so heavy as if he was about to explode. At moments like this, he really wished he had someone to rely on; a smallest bit of emotional support to get through the day. All he had now was Eunji. Eunji, his baby sitter, who had nothing to do with his deteriorated life; Eunji who had now started attending to blind dates. Sung Gyu pressed his thumb and fore finger in between his brows and let out a sigh. If only he had told her the truth…

But he couldn’t. He shouldn’t. He had already lost his best friend over a broken promise. He couldn’t afford to break another.

With a heavy heart, Sung Gyu carried his son towards the Elevator where an old man waited with a heavy load of Tupperware in his hands. Sung Gyu gave him a nod in acknowledgement, securely holding his sleeping sun in both arms. He waited for ten minutes for the elevator to arrive, yet it never did. Sung Jae started squirming in his arms then, and on his wrist-watch it already said past twelve in the midnight. With a dejected sigh, Sung Gyu made his way to the fire exit stairwell and took the entire flight of eleven floors, all on his feet, a sleeping child in his arms.

Sung Gyu was partially dead when he arrived at his floor; which was already dark and somber since it was way past midnight. Lights flickered on as he moved past each of them, and in front of his neighboring house was Eunji’s stalker, drunk and napping soundly against the door. He made a mental note to call Myung Soo once inside, struggled with the pass code while balancing Sung Jae the best he could, and upon arriving in his bedroom, he laid Sung Jae down among the quilts, pillows and sheets of his messy bed, and collapsed beside him. He was beat, shattered, barely holding up. Sung Gyu was certain, one single push, he would go tumbling down into insanity. With a sigh, he sat up and wiped the beads of sweat on his forehead with his quilt. His eyes fell on the sleeping child then, and he softened immediately, realizing that the sole reason he was waking up every morning, the sole reason he could go on living was right before his eyes, in his arms. And for this reason, he couldn’t let himself lose to the battle of life. At least, not when Sung Jae needed him the most.

*

His father had changed. At least Sung Jae thought that he had. But still it wasn’t in the best way. If he had shown him very little love during the past month or so, his father now showed him no love at all. It was as if Sung Jae was suddenly an invisible supernatural being, floating around in the house like a ghost, completely oblivious to his own father.

In the beginning, Sung Jae didn’t mind much. He was busy himself anyway, and his father had returned home very late in the night so they barely had time to bond. It was okay, nevertheless, because his father getting late from work only meant that his baby sitter was staying longer. And Sung Jae really adored her company. She was loud, and funny, and they always played games, watched TV, had meals and did his homework together; the things that he’d been missing out on doing with his father lately. And in addition to that, baby sitter took him to the plaza to play games at the arcade or have desserts or Ice cream, which his father never did, or hadn’t done for ages now. Because of baby sitter, the week days were good for him. They weren’t as boring and tiring as the weekend were. At least he was having fun with her. At least he was happy.

Saturdays and Sundays were by far the worst, and his least favorite days of the week. Back then, they were his favorite. He loved it when his father was home. They didn’t do much, except for waking up late and eating snacks while watching television in their pajamas all day, and his father was with him all day long. They talked and ate together. They played and they had fun. But now, Sung Jae’s father worked even on the weekends, carrying all the work back home and concentrating on them all day long with a long, somber face and an irritant mood. Sung Jae couldn’t even approach him for a second, as if his father was an alien from a different planet. There was a time when his father snapped at him when Sung Gyu tried to interlude his work, but now he didn’t care at all. Even if Sung Jae would come and do a whole big song and dance in front of him, his father would sit there and continue to ignore him as if he wasn’t there at all.

Sung Jae realized that he preferred his mad, irritant father a lot more than this new one who didn’t seem to care for him at all. He’d rather have him telling him off instead of ignoring him. He’d rather have him giving him time outs instead of those long, bored looks. Sung Jae was hurt, to say the least. He wanted his daddy back.

It wasn’t like Sung Jae hadn’t tried to get his attention. In fact, he had done everything within his capacity to drag his father’s attention from the laptop computer he was staring at all day. One time, Sung Jae worked hard on making a motor boat out of an old, broken toy and a used bottle of soda and deliberately tested it in the bath tub one morning, in the one in his father’s bathroom while his father brushed his teeth, but his father had heeded him no concern. Brushing his teeth was all he did. Another time he finished all his homework within one day and bragged about it to him while he concentrated largely on his detective work on his computer, sitting in the kitchen and having not moved an inch during the past hour, only to earn an annoyed grumble and a small, meekly ‘Good’ in response. The third and the last time he tried, he was trying to make coffee for his father. And that was the time he decided to give up for once and for all. He was beginning to get tired of trying.

It was late in the night and Sung Jae still wasn’t asleep while his dad was in his bedroom, trying to do some work on his bed, with his laptop open and his spectacles sliding down his nose. His father looked tired. His eyes were droopy and his face was impassive, contorted even, and Sung Jae was beginning to get concerned. He didn’t know much about coffee making though. But he had seen how baby sitter did it and Sung Jae tried his best to follow the procedure thoroughly, without having to call her in the middle of the night and disturb her by asking how people made coffee. He set some water to boil in the electric heater, climbed up to the cabinet and searched through the cupboards until he located where they kept the instant coffee packets. Then he also found a nice mug with a print of a cat saying good morning, and carefully, he climbed down, washed the mug, cut the edge of the sashay packet with a scissor and poured the content into the mug. Once the kettle clicked off, he cautiously balanced the kettle and poured a generous amount of water into the mug before stirring it slowly but thoroughly. When he tasted the coffee, however, he figured that the coffee tasted nothing like the one his baby sitter made. In fact, it tasted bland and had too much water. He couldn’t possibly give it to his father. And that’s why he poured the whole thing into the sink and proceeded to make another, this time making sure to put a lesser amount of water. He was just getting ahead with it when suddenly a noise came from the hallway and his father’s voice sounded so loudly and appallingly behind him. “What are you doing?”

Sung Jae was startled, to say the least. He was horrified. His hand clutched onto the mug while the other tried to put the kettle down on the counter, but then his hand slipped, sending the kettle tumbling down on to the floor, burning his little hand harshly and barely missing his two bare feet. It was the loudest he had ever heard his father howl at him, and possibly the scariest. And as if things weren’t any worse already, his father picked him up with much force, his hands tightly around him that it almost hurt his sides, set him on the counter where the spilled water wouldn’t burn him and the first thing he did was slap harshly down on his thigh.

“How many times have I told you not to play with hot water, Sung Jae?!?” His father bellowed, fire burning in his eyes that Sung Jae couldn’t help but break into miserable tears. But that wasn’t stopping the canons shooting from the gun which was his father’s mouth. “Just how many times! What if it burnt you? What if it set the whole house on fire? Do you not care enough!?! Why do you always give me such a hard time?!?”

Sung Jae never intended on giving his father a hard time. All he wanted was to make a coffee for him because he looked so weary and tired, like it was what he really needed. Sung jae tried to tell him that. He also tried to apologize. But what it all came out as were sobs and pleas and madly hiccups, which seemed to drive his father even madder.

“Stop crying Sung Jae! Stop it now!” Growled his father as he tried to look at the burns on his hands. It burned. It hurt so much. But nothing could compare to the burn that was in his heart. Sung Jae couldn’t tell his father about that, regardless. He wasn’t going to listen. All he would do is bark at him and tell him to stop.

So, Sung Jae cries reduced to small feeble sobs and whimpers as his father resumed to treat the burns on his hand. It stung, but all Sung Jae could do was flinch, trying his best not to make a single verbal response, even though what he really wanted to do was scream. In a low, distracted voice, his father asked if it hurt anywhere else, and as much as he wanted to declare that it hurt so much in his heart, Sung Jae decided to keep his mouth shut, burying that hurt feeling deep within himself. His father put a burn bandage around his wounded left hand, not so badly but quite painfully and went ahead to clean up the kettle he had dropped and the water that had spilled. When his house slipper accidentally struck to the water spilled on the marble floor, Sung Jae’s father began to yell at him even more.

“Why do you do this to me, Sung Jae? Don’t you see how difficult it is to me already?” His voice came to him like thunder bolts, striking on and on and echoing inside the empty, dark house. There was fire burning inside his eyes and his appalled skin as well as messy dark hair gave him the aura of a vicious monster. Sung Jae felt like crying again, yet he refrained. His father harshly threw a kitchen towel on the floor and discarded the house slipper not so nicely into the waste bin. “I don’t know Sung Jae. What it seems to me now is you’re only going to get me killed at the end of everything” He lifted his head and there was pain as well as anger etched on his face. Sung Jae retreated further into his shell like a scared little tortoise, hiding away from becoming the next pray, but that didn’t take him further enough to stop him from hearing what his father had to say next.

“When I have finally died, Sung Jae, only then, only then, you would understand”

With that, he was set back down on the floor, his father not meeting his eyes not even once. He was ordered to go to his room soon after, which Sung Jae wordlessly obliged to. Once back in the safety of his room, however, Sung Jae came down to a new resolve. The words his father said were echoing in his mind. Especially the bit where he said Sung Jae would get him killed. Of course Sung Jae never intended to do such a cruel, heartless thing to his father. He loved him, he was all he had. But if his father felt that he would really end up doing exactly that to him, and if it was him who always drove his father mad and gave him a hard time, then his father was better off without him. The winter had come to Sung Jae now, even if it was still the spring time. His plan of running away was long due, yet the time has come, finally, finally, to do as he planned. He was tired of getting snapped at and yelled at all the time by his father. He loved him, but he was tired as it was, and this was the only way.

With determination, Sung Jae picked out a bag from his stash of old back packs and stuffed it with some clothes, underwear, a towel and some books, along with the toothbrush, toothpaste and soap he carried with him on travels with his father. Once all was packed, he set the back pack by his feet on the bed, climbed into the bed and went to sleep one last time before he ran away from home, from his father, to a new place. Yes. That’s what he was about to do. He was going to run away from home, to find his mother; his mother who, he was sure, would love him more.

*

Sung Gyu cleaned the last of the mess left on the kitchen counter, except for the mug of coffee left untouched, and with a heavy sigh and a heavy hurt, he leaned against the counter and buried his face in his hands.

After having had pent up frustration for beyond weeks now, it felt like the end of him, the moment where he truly and eventually exploded. Sung Gyu felt drained, drained of hope and the momentum to carry about his life any longer. There were too many things running in his mind right now. His work was piling on him and there were too many dead-lines to meet. He hadn’t spoken to anyone the past few weeks, including his own child, afraid that he would snap and break someone’s heart in the process. He’d been on the edge of his patience the past few weeks, trying his best to keep himself back from falling into a state of complete insanity. Yoora was driving him insane. Woohyun was driving him insane. So did his parents, his sister and even Howon from work. Eunji’s been distant and distracted the whole time and Sung Gyu hadn’t dared to show the vulnerable side of himself to her, summing it all up to daily exhaustion due to work related matter, and above all, bringing up his nine-year-old son was making him insane.

He looked down at the mug of lukewarm instant coffee lying on the counter beside him, and felt his heart clench painfully inside him to the point where tears were welling up in his eyes. Of course, Sung Jae hadn’t meant to hurt him. He hadn’t meant to make a mess of it either. His sole intention was to make a warm mug of coffee, for him. The thought itself, so unadulterated, so pure, made him feel like the worse father in the world. Sung Jae was startled at that moment because he was always on the edge these days like a baby bunny waiting for the fox to hop out and drag him away. He’s never been this way, not until Sung Gyu started acting strangely, cruelly towards him. In that case, if anything, it was all Sung Gyu’s fault. Had he not listened to Yoora and let himself be pushed and provoked by her, he would never have inflicted any kind of anger and hatred towards his child. They’d have been happy and peaceful like they’ve always been before. As if on cue, Eunji’s voice began to relentlessly echo in his mind. ‘Don’t let anything she would do or she would say, to come between the two of you’. He should have heeded to her advice weeks ago from now. He should have listened to her and never let Yoora come between them, regardless of whom she was in their lives. But he was foolish, pathetic and vulnerable. He had let his heart win over his right mind, coincidentally leading to letting down all the loved ones in his life.

He picked up the mug of coffee from his side and held it in his arms for a moment longer, feeling its heat against his palms. This was his favorite mug because the cat prints reminded him of his childhood, and Sung Jae seemed to have known it, or must have liked the mug himself. Sung Gyu looked into the content in the mug, the barely mixed coffee and the froth forming on the surface of it. For him Sung Jae’s innocent attempt of coffee making was as perfect as it was. It didn’t need stirring. It didn’t need to be any warmer, as long as it carried all the love, commitment and good intention that Sung Jae himself had carried in making it. Sung Gyu closed his eyes and took a sip from the barely warm and badly stirred beverage, felt the froth and the stray bits of coffee powder stuck to the insides of his mouth. It wasn’t what which made him choke and wheeze, nonetheless. It was the tears welling in his eyes, pouring down his cheeks without a cease. It was the sound of his breaking heart and the remorse in his mind, remorse that he failed to see what was right in front of his eyes and in his grasp. It was the regret of the words he had spoken to his baby earlier, the innocent child who had never had a bad bone in himself. It was hatred towards himself for becoming the monster that he was.

Sung Gyu set down the mug back on the counter then. He pressed both his hands to cover his contorted face, and began to cry.

*

Next day it was a beautiful Sunday morning in the spring. There were birds chirping jovially as they fled through the breeze and spring blossoms rained beautifully over the gravels below. If they had a single window in the house, the sun rise would have seeped in and shined down upon the soundly sleeping child. It wasn’t the sound of the birds or the morning sun which woke him up, however. It was the alarm clock which he didn’t forget to set the previous night. Sung jae woke up and sat up in his bed with new found determination. It was not only a beautiful, warm spring day weekend morning today. It was also the day Sung Jae was finally going to fly away from his nest in search for his mother, the mother who abandoned him with his cruel, heartless father all those years ago.

It was the first time in his whole life that Sung Jae had woken up so early in the morning on his own. They never woke up in the morning on weekends to begin with, and also it was usually his father’s job to drag him out of his bed and shove him to the shower. Finally, having taken that step on his own, Sung Jae felt like he really had grown up. It made him feel nervous as well as exhilarated. Maybe it was a good sign that he was finally able to live on his own, like those kids he had seen in books who ran away from home and did various things to make money and find friends and family who loved him, in case he didn’t end up finding his mother. But the end cause of this whole thing was indeed to find her, and live with her. In fact, he didn’t care if she lived in a big haunted mansion or even a caravan like gypsies did, as long as it was a long way away from his cruel father.

Once he got dressed in jeans and a T-shirt and packed the last of his needs, which was his favorite quilt into his bag which barely had more space left, Sung Jae dragged everything he was taking with him down the corridor, over the three steps to the bedrooms, through the hallway and into the kitchen, before he set it aside and proceeded to make himself some breakfast. There was bread and other stuff in the fridge, which usually their breakfast consisted of, since baby sitter stopped coming in the weekends. Sung Jae, feeling rather hungry in the morning, poured himself a glass of chocolate milk and made himself a cheese sandwich. It was going to be his last breakfast at his old home. It was a little sad indeed. He also realized that the journey will be long, so he made a mental note to take some of the food along with him.

Over in Sung Gyu’s bedroom, by the sound of the closing refrigerator, Sung Gyu was startled awake. His face was all puffy and his eyes were narrower (if it was possible, even) after the rather emotional night he had had before, and his head was pounding, even though he had barely had a drink. He squinted his eyes and took in his surrounding in a whim before checking his phone. Strange. It was still seven in the morning. Nobody in his house ever woke so early in weekend mornings, but today, Sung jae certainly had.

Sung Gyu carried himself over to the bathroom on heavy feet and quickly freshened up before changing into comfortable clothes. He made his way into the kitchen where all the sound was coming from, and cautiously peeked in to see what his son was up to so early in the day. His guess was that he was trying to surprise him with breakfast or something to apologize to him, so Sung Gyu had a rather good feeling about it. “Jae?” He called softly and finally stepped in, only to find Sung Jae sitting in the kitchen, a plate of bread before him along with a jug of something, him dressed in jeans and a T shirt which were clearly not meant for staying in on a week end. What was more surprising was that he had a massive bag by his feet, the zipper of it barely closed and content flooding out of it. Sung Gyu caught a glimpse of his childhood quilt pouring out. Sung Gyu looked at Sung Jae, and realized that the boy was barely paying attention to him. Sung Gyu blinked. “Sung Jae, are you going somewhere?” And as a second guess, he added; “Did baby sitter say you two were having a play date?”

“No” Sung Jae said rather calmly and set his half-eaten sandwich down on the plate. “I’m going to find my mum”

“M-mum?” Sung Gyu muttered, perplexed and mildly panicked, fearing that Yoora had finally taken hold of him. Sung Jae nodded and continued to eat on his own, looking much like a person that Sung Gyu had never met, and it was making him feel concerned. “Sung Jae, what do you mean?” Sung Gyu fully entered the kitchen and sat down next to his son. Sung Jae gave him a grave look. “I’m running away from home”

Sung Gyu’s entire world was sent spiraling through the ground. He knew that Sung Jae was still young and at a growing age where he was indeed bound to rebel this way, especially after a fight with his father. But Sung Gyu was Sung gyu, and in Sung Gyu’s mind, when his son had said that he was running away from home, it wasn’t merely an innocent threat which Sung Gyu could easily pull him out of, coaxing him in all his fatherly ways; when he said he was running away from home, it was exactly what he meant. He was going to go away.

And Sung Gyu knew his son like an open book, mostly because he was the exact resemblance of himself. Sung Jae mirrored his own childhood, the mischievous, rebellious kid he always was on whom his parents always lost control. The only person who could keep him under a constant watch was his mother, whom Sung Gyu was scared to no end back then. In Sung Jae’s case, there wasn’t anyone to play that role in his life. And if Sung Gyu would lose his ability to persuade him to change his mind, there wasn’t anybody else in his life who carried that capability. And it horrified him.

Sung gyu tried his best to keep calm even though his hands trembled in apprehension. He tried to match the same level of calmness that his nine-year-old son was inflicting at that moment in time of his decision to run away from his father, but as it seems to him now, it was getting almost impossible. Sung Gyu’s mind was in a whirlwind. Nonetheless, he kept his voice smooth and firm as possible when he asked him; “Why do you want to run away, Sung Jae?”

Sung Jae continued to eat, giving not much care to his anxious father, even though the rigidness of his shoulders seemed to imply a completely different story. “I want to find my mum”

There, he was saying that again. What made him want to find his mother was beyond Sung Gyu, but he had a slightest hunch that it had something to do with the events from the night of his birthday as well as how Sung Gyu had been acting around his son the past few days. If he wanted to find his mother in a state as this, Sung Gyu had nothing to blame, nobody to blame but himself. He dragged a trembling hand down his face and let out a sigh. “Mum? Why do you suddenly want to find your mum?” He rearranged himself on the chair so that he was in a close enough proximity to make some sense sink into Sung Jae’s little mind. “Sung Jae-ah. You can’t…you shouldn’t find your mum like this…” That’s all he could dare to say to his child. He couldn’t elucidate it any further, worried that he would get a wrong impression on the person who gave birth to him. Sung Gyu didn’t want that. Sung Gyu didn’t want Sung Jae to develop some kind of hatred towards his birth mother. As much as Sung jae was incapable of doing that at this young age, Sung Gyu didn’t want to be the one initiating it in his mind.

“But why?” Sung Jae inquired, looking at his father with great interest which immediately rendered him speechless. Why couldn’t he meet his mother? Why couldn’t he find her? The truth was, all this time, Sung Gyu had hindered their meeting, evaded having to walk into that situation without knowing his reasons himself. All he believed was that there has to be a wall between them which stood rigid, separating Yoora and Sung Jae and leaving them in their own worlds. He hadn’t any idea why they should never meet. He had no idea why things had to be that way. He only knew that this was the right way. And now that he thought of it, there was only one answer rolling in his mind. ‘She didn’t love you’. An answer which Sung Gyu could never tell his young child.

“Because I say so” Sung Gyu managed in a small voice in the end. Sung Jae definitely didn’t find this answer convincing enough, he didn’t seem to have changed his mind. He quietly finished his food while Sung Gyu watched him in trepidation, downed the content in his mug, washed the used mug and plate in the sink, set them to dry and returned to the table to wipe his hands. While he did this, Sung Gyu tried his best to think of what he could do next. Grab his son and tell him how much he loved him? Lock the front door and angrily send him back into his room? He was at a loss as it was, and the only thing he could think of right then was breaking into angry sobs and tears.

And then, just as if on cue, a text message alert appeared on his phone, and it was Eunji, saying something about how he and Woohyun should meet each other soon. It wasn’t the mention of Woohyun which caught his attention, nonetheless. It was her. Eunji’s voice began to echo in his mind, and he realized, as of now, she was the only savior he had, the only one who knew and understood exactly what to do at moments like now. He looked over at Sung Jae who was now pouring a second mug of chocolate milk as if to stall time and thought of a way to distract him. Then his eyes fell on the back pack which was barely zipped close. Sung Gyu surreptitiously pushed his phone into his pocket and took a cautious step towards his son. “Jae” His voice was wary as he prodded at the bag on the floor. “I don’t think this bag is big enough to carry your stuff” He said in the most convincing tone he could muster. Sung Jae finished his second mug of milk and looked up at him, seeming interested. So, he pushed on. “Why don’t we get a bigger one, hm?”

Sung Gyu was amazed at how calm his voice sounded just now. Almost too convincing, so much so that Sung Jae immediately gave in. Sung Gyu picked up the bag with a grunt, and Sung Jae wordlessly followed him to the bedroom, where Sung Gyu was supposedly going to think of the rest of his plan, or confide in someone about the rest of his plan. Whatever which worked at that moment.

*

A nice spring morning. The kind of a day one would have spent a peaceful day out, traversing the streets hand in hand with a loved one, watching in bliss as soft pink cherry blossoms cascaded down through the breeze. Birds were singing their endless songs as they fled through the jade green leaves which slowly danced along the wind, and somewhere far away, the gentle lapping of the water in the lake could be heard. Standing in the middle of the sandy path of the almost empty park in a bright spring morning, Jung Eunji closed her eyes and let out a heavy sigh. It was a beautiful spring morning, but she wasn’t happy.

“You okay?” The deep voice of her sole companion of that day asked from beside her, and she only hummed in response, dejected.

It all started out after that day she spent the night over at the Kims. Since Eunmi got to learn about the dark history of the person Eunji worked for, she’s been reluctant to let her only sister spend too much time under the influence of someone so…capricious. In her mind, at least. Just like Sung Gyu had told her to leave work and be engaged in a profession worthy of her education, both Eunmi and Woohyun had tried to coax her into doing something which they deemed as worthwhile. It was beginning to get frustrating for her. Woohyun had stopped talking to Sung Gyu, and kept on pestering about leaving her job and looking at alternative routes where the pay was better and did justice to her academic education. Eunmi and her husband weren’t any different. Every time she’d return home from work, late in the night, Eunmi would pick a fight with her, dragging their peaceful house and family life into shambles. Boohyun, the peacemaker of the family tried everything within his capacity to keep things under control, yet, he seemed to get tired by the seconds of everything. The least he could do to make the bridge between the two sisters any better was to look for job vacancies in the school that he worked at which fit Eunji’s experience and qualifications. But the last professional job she had worked at refused to give any recommendations on her, what with Yeosob debacle, and of course, what she had with Sung Gyu was far from a real profession, which put her in a difficult position in the job market. After weeks of Woohyun’s attempts of shoving newspapers of job advertisements on her face and Eunmi fighting her almost every night, Eunji grew tired of everything. It was for this reason that she had the biggest blip happening in her life. Perhaps it was the relentless pressure she was getting from her immediate family. Perhaps it was the mere exhaustion. Whatever it was, in a moment of anger and emotional frenzy, when Woohyun had asked her on and on why she was so reluctant to leave her job at Sung Gyu’s, Eunji had told them the truth; that she had fallen in love with him.

That had changed the whole proposal of finding her jobs to suit her qualifications to a scheme of finding her a lover. Eunji didn’t know what their exact purpose was. When she had asked if they planned on getting her married soon, Eunmi had snapped out at her, telling her to do as she said. When she had asked Woohyun if it was their surreptitious plan to get her out of the house, he had only feigned ignorance and gone about with the rest of his chatter. She couldn’t tell what exactly they tried to achieve out of this; but she had a hunch. They were trying to make her fall out of love with Sung Gyu, make her forget him, make him just a minor and insignificant existence in her life.

But Eunji knew, with all her heart, that Kim Sung Gyu was far from that in her life. The truth was, for Eunji, he was everything.

Eunji despised how everyone around him failed to understand what predicament he was finding himself buried deep right at this moment. Eunji had seen him, weary, exhausted, on the edge of giving up on just about everything which kept him sane and going. It wasn’t right to put the blame solely on him for everything that had happened. To some degree, his parents were at fault. To some degree, so was Woohyun. And in every possible way, the rest of the world was. They have done nothing to stop Sung Gyu from falling into the place that he had ended up in now, they have not even put the slightest effort into saving him. All that everyone did now was finding fault in him, pointing out where he’d gone wrong, making him regret every little move they had done in life, classifying him as a conspicuous, shifty, untrustworthy being. But Eunji knew whom he really was. She had seen him, known him, and fallen in love with him. And that person whom she had etched and engraved in her mind and heart was Kim Sung Gyu who was kind, loving, generous and a diligent young father, who would give everything he had for the ones he loved. Eunji despised it, how nobody could love him and accept him as exactly the person that he was.

Setting her blind dates was Woohyun’s idea, while both Eunmi and Boohyun were trying to set her up with a man who pleased them. Woohyun, at least, had a bit of a heart to allow Eunji choose the man whom she would love and perhaps spend her whole life with. As difficult as it was to shift where her heart belonged to, Eunji also understood that it was inevitable, if she wanted to keep her love breathing and alive. She had to play along and do whatever her family was asking her to. It was her love which she had traded with her chance to stay by Sung Gyu’s side a little longer. She had been on approximately three blind dates, and now she had stuck to one for the time being, the person who resembled Sung Gyu the very least. Not in the respect of appearance, compassion and love, but solely because he was a police officer just like Sung Gyu was, and he came from the same home town that he did. His name was Jisoo.

“You’ve been looking distracted the whole time” Jisoo said, finding the audacity to hold her hand just on their third date. He looked into her eyes cautiously, searching for any sign of discomfort that he should be concerned about. “Eunji-Ssi. Is everything okay?”

No. They weren’t. Because other than every obvious thing going in her life, since she woke up that morning with the plans of seeing Jisoo on a breakfast date, she’d been having a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach, hindering her from making any coherent thoughts. And as strange as they were, it was all related to little Sung Jae. The other boy of her dreams whom she wholeheartedly loved. But of course, Eunji divulged nothing of this to her new date. All he knew about her job was that she was a professional baby sitter, and as much as it was a blatantly terrible lie, he had gone ahead and believed that. Since the strange feeling in her stomach wasn’t flittering away, Eunji made up her mind to send a simple text to Sung Gyu asking not just anything, but if he was willing to meet Woohyun soon. Having Woohyun and Sung Gyu was overbearing for her, amongst many other things. In any case, she couldn’t help but feel that Woohyun was trying to conspire against his former best friend in the same feeling of hatred, resentment and sense of betrayal more than the fact that he believed Sung Gyu to be treacherous. Woohyun had known Sung Gyu since forever, and Eunji was pretty sure he knew that Sung Gyu was anything but. All she wanted was to put an end to Woohyun’s way of dubious thinking and make up with the best friend he was about to lose. The purpose of that particular text however, wasn’t exactly what she meant. It was a ruse to make Sung Gyu tell her something just about anything after long days of keeping secretive and quiet, and away from her as far as he could.

“I’m fine” Eunji managed in the end followed by a thick gulp. She wasn’t used to this new company though she was trying her best to get used to it. Having grown up with a small social circle surrounding her, a new person easing into her life, she found it to be quite unendurable. But Jisoo was quiet. He was more of an observer than a speaker, and he always let her have her mind to wander and space to breath. They walked for a little longer, him still holding her hand and her finding it duly strange. But it was endearing, to finally feel that there was someone to hold her hand at a time when she needed comfort the most. Though there hadn’t been that kind of intimacy between her and Sung Gyu, however (Except for the odd drunk kisses and that one time they hugged) Eunji still couldn’t help but wish it was him in Jisoo’s place.

Jisoo let go of her hand once they reached the lake side, and she walked over to the edge, watching the ducks swim peacefully across the tranquil water. A fond memory appeared in her mind, and she tried her best to recall the name that she thought she had long forgotten. Back on that day, it annoyed her. But at this moment, it was exhilarating, pacifying. For the first time in her life, she found herself thinking about a duck migrating. Mister Quick-Quack; she recalled under her breath and a small smile spread across her lips. It probably wasn’t the same duck, it wasn’t the same park even, but to think that the father and the son had gone to the extent of naming a duck made her warm in the heart. It was before long when she called the passing duck the same name.

“Hey Mister Quick-Quack!” She called, and took another cautious step towards the lake, the heels of her boots sinking further into the damp soil. “Mister Quick-Quack! I’m so glad to finally meet you!”

And for her amazement, the duck turned her way and began to swim towards her direction. This made her laugh hysterically, throwing her head back and clapping her hands like a seal. Behind her, Jisoo the quiet bystander was watching the peculiar exchange with a smile on his face. Eunji wasn’t happy still, though she was trying to find a simplest silver lining in her darkening days. Eunji wasn’t happy, she will never be unless she would end up in the arms of the one person whom she truly loved.

As if on cue then, her phone began to vibrate in her pocket, and in the process of hurriedly pulling it out with her mildly frozen hand, she almost stumbled on the edge of the lake and Jisoo had to hurry towards her and hold her in place before bringing her back to safety. Eunji looked down at the display of her phone, and her heart clenched painfully. The familiar feeling of unease seeped back into the pit of her stomach as she brought the phone to her ear. “Hello?”

“Eunji?”

It was Sung gyu, and his voice was awfully small and apprehensive, which made the worry in Eunji’s mind double ten times. There was indeed something wrong. Her instincts weren’t lying.

“Boss?” Eunji returned as she moved away from Jisoo though he hardly paid attention to her. “Is everything okay over there?”

There was a rustle on the other end, followed by footsteps and then the sound of a closing door. When Sung gyu returned to the phone, he sounded muffled, as if he was speaking from under water.

“Eunji, there’s…I need your help”

“Help?” Eunji returned, worry engrained in her tone. “Why, what is it? Is it Yoora? Is it Sung Jae?”

“It’s Sung Jae” Sung Gyu returned apprehensively, and a small sniff followed. “Sung Jae’s trying to run away from home”

*

After Sung Gyu successfully convinced that things Sung Jae was carrying in his bag weren’t enough, the boy simply began to dump everything out of his packed bag aggressively and Sung gyu finally found his opportunity to slip his phone out and dial his most reliable source of support. He hadn’t thought she’d pick up, even though he was in a moment of panic, but he was startled when she did right after the fifth ring. Sung Gyu slipped out of the room as quietly as possible while filling her on the incidents from that morning, his voice oddly small and thick with emotions as he spoke as quietly as possible.

“I know it’s such a small thing, but only now I realize how much I have ed up” Sung Gyu sighed and threaded his hand into his hair.

“You owe to the swear jar” Eunji muttered almost automatically and inhaled loudly that it was audible to Sung Gyu’s end of the line. “Okay, so this is what you’re going to do. Play alone with him. You can’t convince him by picking on him or snapping or by getting overly emotional. Sung Jae is in a crucial age, boss. You have to make him understand that this is a terrible idea”

“And how am I going to do that?” Sung gyu inquired tiredly.

“like said, play along with him. Help him pack his bag and help him do his thing”

Sung Gyu gaped at the empty wall before him and finally stood straight, the sense of her words slowly sinking in. “Are you telling me to help my own child to run away from home? Are you bloody mad?” When he realized that he was being a little too harsh on her, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes, allotting his full weight on the wall behind him. “Eunji, I’m basically losing my mind here and that advice does not really help”

“Listen boss” Eunji chided, her voice grave and sincere as she spoke. “Sung Jae is not going to run away, he won’t leave, but if you do something rash right now, it will stay with him forever” There was a moment of quietness then, and thoughtfully, she added. “Play along with him, do as I say. It will be fine”

Sung Gyu pursed his lips and looked at the motion sensitive light above him, which had flickered on under his presence. “He says he’s going to find his mother”

Eunji took a sharp inhale. “He’s only having a little fall out, boss. It doesn’t mean much. You have to do as I say, okay?” A second of silence, and she said, almost determined. “Trust me, it will be fine”

After the phone call had ended, Sung Gyu returned to the room, this time, his face straight, though unsmiling but trying to be as calm as possible. That’s what she had told him to do. Look unaffected. Look like he was supporting his decision. Let him regret it on his own. Sung Gyu didn’t exactly like the sound of it, but for the moment, he trusted her. Sung Jae was busy pulling out bag after bag from his closet, scrunching his face at each of them. Sung Gyu pursed his lips and recalled Eunji’s guidance.

‘Pack him a heavy suitcase. One that he couldn’t carry’

He nodded to himself and wordlessly traversed the room to pull out the travel bag Sung Gyu had left on top of Sung Jae’s closet since his last travel. It was big enough. Sung Gyu placed it on top of the bed, wide open, and began to thrown in all the clothes that Sung Jae had spread all over the bed. He also made sure to put in some heavier clothes, and proceeded to fold the quilt from his childhood, a thick knot formed in his throat, but he persevered with an impassive face. Sung jae was watching him from the middle of the room curiously, so he nodded at the door then gestured at the bag which lied on the bed since last discarded. “You’d need to pack some water, Jae. It’s going to be a long travel”

Sung jae blinked, and sensing the angry tone of his voice, he grabbed the back pack from the bed and stomped out of the room. Once he was gone, Sung Gyu sat back on the bed, trying to stop himself from crumbling into pieces. It was a difficult task as it was, but for Sung Jae’s sake, he held on. He climbed back up on his feet then, and crammed the suitcase with anything and everything he could find in the room. Old jackets, raincoats, some books, some toys; even the things that weren’t really necessary but carried a lot of weight, he stuffed them all in until the travel bag was filled to the brim. He zipped it close and pulled it off the bed. It was heavy, he could hardly move it an inch, it was good. So, he moved onto the next phase of her advisory.

‘Carry the bag for him. Show him you couldn’t care less’

If he couldn’t care less, that was a blatant lie. Sung Gyu cared so much for the little boy who consecutively made his life more difficult that he could die in pain at that moment, but Eunji’s words kept playing in his mind. He had to let Sung Jae regret the decision on his own. Thus, with a grunt and a heavy heart, Sung Gyu maintained his expressionless face and dragged the bag out into the kitchen where Sung Jae was busy retrieving bottled water from the storage. Sung Gyu picked them and shoved in a couple into his bag, recalling the next in the line of Eunji’s guidance.

‘Pack him his back pack. Make sure to emphasize on food that he loves, and also put in a couple of mementos of the two of you together’

“You’d need food as well” Sung Gyu grunted and made his way to the refrigerator where he retrieved his favorite hazel-nut spread, some bread, some finger cookies and a small pack of Kimchi, all of which Sung Gyu stuffed into the bag along with water. “They wouldn’t have all those fancy food items that you love in convenience stores, Jae” He emphasized with his eyes widened dramatically. “And I bet its going to be a long travel so you’d need lots of energy”

Then he moved back into the hallway where he picked little knick-knicks which Sung Gyu deemed were important in their father-son relationship and stuffed them into the bag on top of the food items. There weren’t much. Just an old toy from his childhood which Sung Jae had found in his parents’ house and came to love, a small single paged photo album of their times together and a framed photograph, Sung Jae’s favorite photograph of themselves from the Jeju beach five years ago, Sung Gyu holding him securely in his arms as the waves crashed, both of them smiling widely and genuinely happy; Sung Gyu felt hotness in his eyes. He carried the bag back into the kitchen and found Sung Jae angrily pacing the kitchen. The kid was as stubborn as his father was. He wasn’t going to budge.

“You ready, Jae?”

Without a word, Sung Jae grabbed the back pack from his father and though it was awfully heavy in his small arms, he still managed to put in on behind him and walked towards the already heavily packed suitcase. “I’ll bring it” Sung Gyu said sternly, Sung Jae shrugged, and walked ahead of him. In complete silence, they made it down the corridor, into the elevator, eleven stories down and into the massive expanse of the lobby and shopping area of the plaza.

‘Let him off at the entrance. Tell him how to take public transport, and emphasize on difficulty of finding his way around on his own. Let him know that it’s a big, scary world out there and make him understand that it will be difficult for him without you. Don’t tell him that. Imply. Make him realize’

Sung gyu stared at the busy entrance longingly, at the spinning doors which people came in and went out from. The street outside the doors were mingling with the hustle and bustle of the weekend shoppers and those enjoying the late morning sun in the spring breeze. He sighed, though loudly, and closed his eyes. It was indeed a big, scary world out there from this point; and in that world, Sung Jae was as tiny as a smallest pollen floating in the wind, regardless of how much a big presence the child was in his life. Yet, he stuck to the plan. He turned Sung Jae to face him and crouched down before him.

“So, Appa’s stopping here so you will have to go on, on your own” Sung Gyu made sure to weigh on the last bit, and cleared his throat. “I don’t know where your mum is. You don’t either. She could be anywhere, so there are lots of paces you will have to travel to, to find her. Are you up for that, Sung Jae?”

Sung Jae’s face was straight, dark and angry. Unchanging. He nodded in response, and Sung Gyu realized it was harder than he thought.

“Okay” Sung Gyu’s voice was becoming smaller, but he still maintained his unaffected demeanor throughout. “So you will have to take the bus from here. There’s a bus stop outside the plaza, and there you find a time table of all the buses. You have to decided where you’re going to go first and wait for the right bus. When it’s here, you should carry all your stuff inside, buy the ticket to where you’re going and travel. If you’re going to the train station, you have to buy another ticket there, and find the right coach, the right seat, everything. There are lots of things to do and remember” Sung Gyu sighed and searched in his small dark eyes for any sign of changing emotions, and much to his unease, there was none. Sung Jae was as responsive as a bag of rocks. “It’s going to be a long, long travel. Like I said, your mother could be anywhere. I hope you understand that. And if anything,” Sung Gyu swallowed thickly.

‘Let him know that he’s always welcome to his home. Always’

“If anything, just remember that you’re always, always welcome home to your appa, okay?” Sung Gyu stopped at that, because anything he’d say further would change nothing but make Sung Gyu emotional even further. His voice broke at the end of it, and his face was slowly crumpling like a dry leaf. Even still, he instinctively followed as Eunji has said, putting blind trust on her. He trusted her. He always did. Even now when he was asked to go big in stopping something so small, he trusted her.

When he stood up and moved away, Sung Jae didn’t even bid him good bye. He walked ahead of him rather haughtily, anger emanating from every pore, but Sung Gyu also knew that there was an ounce of hurt in it too. Sung Gyu dragged the suitcase after him, but he stopped by the spinning doors and let his son take up the big journey from there. The suitcase was heavy to his little arms, but Sung Jae pushed on. He was strong as that. Yet strong wasn’t his father. His father was small, emotional and vulnerable. At the very sight of his retreating son at the door, just a few feet away from him, carrying heavy bags and the weight of the world on his back, Sung Gyu pressed against the glass panel beside the entrance and began to cry.

*

“He went” Sung Gyu wheezed into the phone the other end, his voice hoarse and breaking at odd points as he certainly tried to keep himself together. Sung Gyu’s been emotional like that. He always was. Eunji could almost form the image of him in her mind, a wheezing crying mess at the foot off the building, waiting for the world to stop in time. Her heart clenched at this thought.

“Okay” Eunji responded, and looked over at Jisoo who was driving her through the streets of Seoul, she turned back to look out the shutter as the city unfolded before her. “Okay. Now hide in a corner and watch”

Once the phone clicked off and the line went dead, Eunji quickly dialed the number on whom the fault of the issue partially lied in, and Woohyun picked up almost immediately.

“What is it?” He inquired.

“It’s boss” Eunji said as a thick knot of guilt and indecisiveness forming in . “You got to talk to him Woohyun. You have got to…”

There was silence on the other end, and with her eyes closed, Eunji swallowed, hard. “He’s a mess. He’s crying”

*

It had been indeed a tiring day, and running away wasn’t as easy as he thought it would be. With much strenuous effort, Sung Jae had finally brought his heavy luggage to the bus stop his father had told him about (he still listened to him ,though he was a nasty person still) and panting hard, trying to catch his breath, Sung Jae sat on the bench of the bus stop and waited. It also wasn’t helping that he hated to wait. Sung Jae really wasn’t one who’s used to do a lot of waiting. He hated waiting for his birthday to come, he hated waiting for Christmas to come, or for his father to come home in the night to have dinner together. But ever since his father turned into a meanie, Sung Jae suddenly found himself waiting for his mother to come back, the one whom he was certain his father and grandparents were talking about on the day of his birthday. He knew it was wrong to be doing that, especially since his father didn’t seem to like it when he thought about his mother because she left him. But when Sung Jae saw mothers of other children, how they held hands and how they carried them and made them delicious food all the time, Sung Jae found himself missing the mother he had never had. And today, he really, really wished he could find her, only so that he wouldn’t have to live with a cruel father anymore.

But when buses came and went, Sung Jae was beginning to feel a little troubled. They stopped only for like ten seconds, and the drivers were mean and yelled at those who got late to climb in. Sung Jae had checked the time table as his father said. There were so many buses going to so many places he had never known to exist. They had numbers and color codes too. To be frank, for him, it all looked like a huge jumbled mess. He didn’t even know where to start. So Sung Jae had sat back and decided he could do with a little thinking.

But the day was getting warmer, and more and more people came and filled up the wide expanse of the bus stop. More than several times had he had to pull his heavy suitcase to his side, and his arms were beginning to ache. A few minutes later, he reached for his back pack. He needed a drink of water. His father was right. He did indeed need a plenty of water. And food. Because the pocket money he had at that time wasn’t enough to buy fancy things from super markets, and he wasn’t used to eating cheap and instant food from convenience stores.

Simply because his father never let him have any. He only got for him the best and the most expensive kinds.

Sung Jae pouted, remembering him. His father used to be a nice person. He couldn’t cook or play soccer or sing songs to him like those mothers on TV did, but still there were loads of things that he could do. He used to be a very cool detective as well. Used to be. All until Sung jae happened to learn from Baby Sitter that he was more like a police officer but only he worked for a private agency so it made him less cooler. And he was mean now.

With much struggle, he picked up the bag, opened it and dipped in his hand in search for the bottled water. What his hand met with however, was something rectangular, flat with sharp edges. It was cold to the touch. With a frown, he set his bag on the floor by his feet and pulled out the mysterious item. His eyes widened as he placed it on his lap, and before he could stop himself, a knot formed in his throat.

It was a framed photograph of himself and his father, so many years back that he couldn’t even remember how old he was back then. But he was shorter, chubbier, happier. It was on the beach of Jeju island, from the happiest day of his life. He hadn’t many memories from that day, but still there was one which stayed in his mind like a piece of a movie which had played on and on in his mind. Them standing on the beach with feet sinking into the warm mushy sand. Both his father and he were wet from head to toe and their clothes clung onto them like a second skin. When the waves rolled in like hungry beasts, both his father and Sung Jae would laugh excitedly, waiting for the impending wave to crash on them. When it does, his father would lift him up, and he screamed with delight when the water washed past his feet. Then the two of them built a dam in the sand, and he sat on his father’s legs, watching the water fill in the big hole they have dug, eventually to disappear as the ground drank it up like thirsty beasts. Later the two of them walked along the beach, his father holding his hand so tightly like he was promising to never let go, held him close and told him that he loved him the most in the entire world. Sung Jae loved that day, Sung Jae loved it very much. And instinctively he realized, there was a teeny bit of him which still loved his father as well.

With a thick knot in his throat, Sung Jae reached for the bag in order to put in the frame again. His father must have thought that he would miss him time to time when he’s away. As much as running away scared him now, Sung Jae still didn’t want to go back. He wanted to be brave like his father (used to be, when he was still a detective) and go on this adventure to find his mother. But a part of him was embarrassed, ashamed. He didn’t think he could face his father any sooner.

As he attempted to put the framed photo back into the bag, something else fell into his arm. It was also cold and had rough edges, but it was thicker, and somewhat smaller. Sung Jae pulled it out with anticipation.

Another wave of nostalgia hit his little heart when his eyes fell on the album in his lap. It was a gift from his father, because one time when they were at his grandmother’s place, helping them clean for the renovations, Sung jae came across an old photo album which belonged to his father. It was all his father’s childhood photos, from when he was still a baby to when he was in middle school with small intimidating eyes, crumpled school uniform and spiky hair which reminded him of a hedgehog. Every photo had a story, and his grandmother had sat him down and told him every one of them. At the end of that day, Sung Jae wanted one too, a photo album. It was his birthday the following week, and the gift he got from his father on his eighth birthday was the photo album, all filled with printed photographs from his childhood, and little notes written on the corners on sticky notes by his father.

Sung Jae pursed his lips into a thin line as he turned to the first page. It was an old photograph, when Sung Jae was still a baby. He was in a blue flannel, pink and tiny and a rather odd looking face. His father was younger. He was skinny with pale skin and all smiles with messy black hair which fell into his eyes. He was holding baby Sung Jae in his arms like his biggest treasure. “Our first photograph” He had written in messy hand writing on the bottom of it. Sung Jae ignored the guilt rolling in the pit of his stomach and turned to the next page. It was a photograph of a slightly older him, but he was still a baby. At least he didn’t have pink skin anymore. His father had red hair and fluffy cheeks and both of them were sitting in his grandparent’s lawn in the grass. He turned to the next page and the next, each holding a distinct memory of the two of them together. Sung Jae’s birthdays, his first car ride, his first walk, his first Ice cream, the time both Sung Jae and his dad dressed in Winnie the Pooh onesies for Halloween at his kindergarten, the time when they went to the Yangpyong strawberry festival and ate so many of them while wearing ridiculous bucket hats and huge smiles with strawberry stains on their cheeks. Each of the photographs made his heart feel heavier and heavier as the pages turned, revealing more of their fond memories together. He realized a few things as the pictures changed, a few things he didn’t want to think about because he was mad at his father and he was dead-set on finding his mother. But towards the end of the album, he knew it was inevitable. Those thoughts, he couldn’t put a stop to them as they came on and on into his mind like a flooded river. When he turned to the last photo in the album, the last entry his father had made, a stray tear rolled down his cheek and landed on the photograph below, and a loud sob followed.

It was by far his favorite photograph of the lot. He was a lot older in it, comparing to the other photos. He and his dad were in his old school, on the day of his school concert. It was on a winter day, he remembered, and his father was in a thick clothes and there was a twinkle in his eyes as he crouched down behind a rather short and chubby Sung jae who was in a long coat and a fake moustache, smiling widely at the camera. It was the same day that Sung Jae lost his first tooth, so there was a gaping hole in his smile, but still he was happy. What caught older Sung Jae’s heart the most were his hands, his hands which were warmly and tightly held in those big and reassuring ones of his father, Sung Jae’s small fingers grasping tightly onto those of the other. Sung Jae remembered how it felt, to have his hands held like that, because it was something his father did all the time. On cold winter days when his hands felt too stiff after long days at school, or when he was nervous before the school play. Sometimes, when they were napping and when Sung Jae’s on the verge of his sleep, his father held him from the back, his hands holding his little ones so tightly and kissed him on his hair, wishing him good night. Sung Jae could clearly remember how those hands felt like against his own. Big, warm and comforting. It’s when he did that that Sung Jae felt the safest, like nobody could ever snatch him away.

With another small sob, Sung Jae wiped off the tears which had fallen onto the photograph, but he couldn’t help himself when fat tears rolled down his cheeks and fell onto his lap, obscuring the smile he wore in the photograph, and that look of adoration in his father’s eyes. Sung Jae realized, when he cried and sobbed and thought so much about his father whom he loved the most, that he missed him, so, so much, and that he wanted to run back and cuddle in his arms once more. He didn’t want his mother anymore; who left him and remained to be missing for so long. Though he beat him, yelled at him or made him sad the past few days, he still loved him. Sung jae wanted his father the most.

*

‘I’m here if you need me’ Read Eunji’s last text after she had told him how he should go about the rest of the plan. Sung Gyu hated the plan now. Every vein and tissue in his brain were yelling at him to the plan and go snatch his little boy back. He wasn’t raised to be on his own. No matter how brave and smart he was, Sung Jae was brought up with so much of care and pampering; given the best of everything and just about anything he desired. Sung gyu had brought him up the same way that he was raised in his young days, and now that he thought of it, no, Sung Jae wasn’t spoilt or raised wrong. The only thing that Sung Jae was, was that he was immensely and endlessly loved.

Sung Gyu stuck to the rest of the plan, nonetheless, no matter how much he wanted to stop it and run back to his son. Sung Gyu was scared, though the child was just a few feet away from him, in his visible distance, almost in his grasp. But the words Eunji had told him were echoing in his mind, hindering him from crashing through the crowd to the bus stop. She was right. The only way Sung Jae would learn and understand is him realizing the truth himself.

He was already out in the bust street leading to the apartment plaza, standing still within the crowd as the rest of the world continued around him. His searched through the throng of passing people, trying to catch a tiniest glimpse of his son, made a few cautious steps towards the bus stop, and then halted. Sung Gyu could see hm, his son, perched on a bench in the bus stop with his heavy suitcase beside him and the back pack by his feet, effortlessly standing out in the plethora of commuters around him. He wasn’t small and vulnerable anymore, Sung Gyu realized with a pang. Though he refused to see him any other way, Sung Jae was no longer the little baby his first held in his arms all those years ago. He wasn’t a baby, but still a child. Sung Gyu felt a rush of overwhelming emotions storming in his heart, struggling to break through, nonetheless, through bleary eyes, he could see Sung Jae’s haughty, proud wall of anger slowly shatter into pieces, he saw him break, he saw him cry. Sung Gyu realized that Eunji’s been right all along. Sung Jae was slowly realizing that he had done wrong.

Sung Gyu took a deep breath as his heart felt lighter and his head cleared a little more. He wiped the tears in his eyes with the back of his shirt sleeve and took a few steps towards his son. He had to wait a bit more, a little bit more, until Sung Jae realized he couldn’t do it any longer and that he wanted his father back.

When Sung jae tried to wipe his wet eyes while also trying to return the small mementos that Sung Gyu had packed, back into his bag, the last of the important items fell onto the busy pavement with a clatter. It was an action figure of some superhero that Sung Gyu used to love back when he was a child his age. He couldn’t remember much about it, but Sung Jae, when he came across it a few years back, he wanted it for himself. The reason was simple. It was ‘Appa’s.

When Sung Jae got off the bench and tried to reach for it, however, a hurried commuter passed by on hasty feet, accidentally kicking it and throwing it further away from the bus stop. With a loud, childish whine, Sung Jae moved towards it, but another person kicked it away as they walked. Sung Jae sighed, moving even further, but then Sung Gyu was fast on his feet. He got to the toy all before his son could, bent down and took it in his hand. When he finally climbed up on his feet, there was he was, small in the big and rushed world around him staring up at his father with intent. Sung Gyu smiled, yet there were tears welling in his eyes. Sung Gyu just stood there, the toy grasped in both his hands, watching the sight unfold before him.

“Appa?” Sung Jae called once, slowly, unsurely, but when it seemed to dawn on him that his father wasn’t going to disappear, a wide, gracious smile donned on his lips, and Sung gyu was a mad, sobbing, smiling mess when Sung Jae ran towards him. “Appa!”

“Sung Jae” Sung Gyu whispered, because if he spoke, it would only be a hoarse, desperate little crackle. When Sung jae finally ran into his arms, Sung Gyu picked him into his arms, into his longing embrace without diffidence and held him the closest that he could with the promise of never ever letting him go.

“Sung Jae, my little boy” Sung Gyu whispered as he buried his face in boy’s bony shoulder and deeply inheld his scent of detergent, softest baby talc which seemed to have never faded away from him, just to feel him there, his warmth, his scent was enough for him a reassurance that Sung Jae never really did leave him behind. “Appa is sorry, Appa is so, so sorry and I love you so much”

Sung Jae’s arms were thrown around his neck as his legs wrapped around his waist, holding home to him like a baby koala as if he was afraid his father would put him down again and let him on his way on his own, but his words certainly meant otherwise. “Appa I missed you” And he was crying.

“I missed you too, So, so much” Sung Gyu sobbed, closing his eyes tighter in an attempt to stop his tears from flowing. “I thought you were really going to leave me, Sung Jae-ah. I was so scared”

“I was scared too” Sung Jae admitted in defeat, and slowly pulled himself away from his father, his face red, eyes raw from all the crying that he did, head hung in shame. “I really can’t go anywhere without you, Appa…”

“You can’t…nor can I” Sung Gyu smiled through his tears, fixed Sung Jae’s hair and kissed him softly on his forehead, making sure to have his lips lingering longer on him as a gesture of comfort. He pulled away and held his son a little closer and gave him a softest of a smile. “Welcome back home, Sung Jae”

Sung Jae smiled and began to squirm in his arms. “Appa, let’s go home”

*

Eunji was standing in the lobby of the apartment plaza, still wrapped in the heavy jacket from that morning and trying her best to bear the radiating heat, straining her eyes to catch a glimpse of Sung Gyu who had just sent her a message; ‘He’s home’. Sung Gyu really had a way with his words, and she adored it, especially at a moment like this when her emotions were overpowering everything else in her life. It was no wonder that the cause of it all was him. He had that effect on her, perhaps over everyone who’s deepest, innermost feelings he had stirred in all his perfect, beautiful ways. Even of the person who was standing right behind him.

“Where are they?” Eunji muttered under her breath as she looked through the throng of people who pushed in through the spinning doors, and when she still couldn’t catch a sight of them, she inspected the message he last sent once more to make sure that she’d read it right and gotten the correct sense of it. Had she read through the lines, it meant that he’s gotten hold of his son again. If she understood it as it was, then it meant that they’ve returned home. Perhaps it was the latter that it truly meant and Eunji had indeed gotten the wrong idea, having read it through her heightened emotions. She shrugged her shoulders and was just about to turn away and tell her only company that they better go up to Sung Gyu’s condominium when suddenly, she caught the sight of the subject in question just from the corner of her eyes, pushing through the crowd, looking as if he had just returned from a cross country expedition. The sight almost made her laugh, but instead of breaking into endless hysterics, Eunji waved her hands and called out to him.

“Boss! Over here!” Sung Gyu genuinely flinched at the address and little Sung Jae in his arms turned around to face them, red, teary faced and all, yet the moment he caught the sight of her, a brilliant smile spread across his lips.

“Is that him?” A voice said from behind her which sounded startled and slightly perplexed. “He looks like ”

“You wouldn’t want to swear when they’re around” Eunji commented with a smile as Sung Gyu headed towards them with a heavy back pack hung behind him and a sizeable travel bag dragged along his feet. “Unless of course, you want to end up all poor”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He asked from behind them, but Eunji hadn’t the time to answer because in an unexpected turn of events, Sung Jae had soon wriggled himself out of Sung Gyu’s grasp and was hugging her tightly with his arms around her waist. He was humming happily as his face buried in her waist, and Eunji laughed in response, her fingers threading into his soft, dark tuft of hair. “Hey, big guy! Missed me?”

“He seems to love you a lot more than he loves me” Came a voice from beside her, and Sung Gyu was standing there with a straight face, looking unimpressed by Sung Jae’s choice of affection. Regardless, there was a twinkle in his still red eyes. Eunji gave him a delighted smile. “How was the little adventure?”

“Exhausting” Sung Gyu sighed, but his lips soon picked up a smile. “But terrific”

“I’m sure this one got a gist out of it” Eunji chuckled, and Sung Jae whined in protest while continuing his hug. Sung Gyu was looking down at her fondly then. Not at the heartening exchange, not at how Sung Jae held onto her as if she meant so much to him, but at her, through her eyes, right into her soul, and Eunji felt her heart picking up. Sung gyu spoke up before she could say anything or even better, rip her gaze off him and discontinue their enigmatic connection in a whim. “I’m sorry about acting up today. I must have troubled you so early in the morning”

“No” Eunji shook her head, recalling how she had to cut the date short and ask Jisoo to drop her off at the plaza where she planned to meet the other. Jisoo was rather…reluctant to let her go. Nonetheless it was obvious that he sensed something, perhaps that it was quite important to her, that whoever she was to meet was significant and she needed no interruptions. Once he had dropped her off at the underground park, with a promise to call again, he left her. And it was all worth to end a date. Eunji looked up at Sung Gyu and smiled. Yup. All worth it.

“Well I was worried myself actually” Eunji admitted and ruffled Sung Jae’s hair as he still hung onto her like a baby monkey. “I thought this little monster really would do something nasty” She sighed. “But he’s okay, aren’t you, Jae?”

“And he’s home” Sung Gyu smiled.

And there it was again, him looking down at her almost in wonderment. His eyes glassy, his lips unsmiling but looking right through her as if he could read her through and through. It made her feel vulnerable all of a sudden, self-conscious even. She tried to shake that strange feeling away, but it was no use. Her heart was picking up all over again and she was slowly, slowly falling back in-,

A loud sound of someone clearing his throat was what interrupted their soulful exchange, and the fourth person of the lot, the neglected one finally stepped into the scene, and Sung Gyu took a step back, his face genuinely darkening in concern.

“Hyung…”

Woohyun came to the plaza taking off right from where he was spending night at the flat of his girlfriend. He was in yesterday’s pants and dress shirt still, messy bed hair and rusty stenches and all, but what really mattered was that he was there, he still cared enough to be there, even if it was under Eunji’s pleas. What really broke him at that moment however, was learning that his Hyung was crying. One thing that Eunji had come to learn about their slowly rifting relationship was that Woohyun was always weak for whenever his strong and mighty Hyung cried. Judging by how often his Hyung broke into tears however, it seemed that he wasn’t as strong and mighty as he seemed, after all.

“Woohyunnie” Sung Gyu muttered, not once hesitating to address him with the fond nickname he was so used to calling him. There was a glint in his eyes, regardless of how perplexed he seemed to be. Startled, perhaps, but definitely not unexpecting.

Woohyun nodded, and in awkward steps, he made his way towards his best friend. “Sung Gyu Hyung…I…I’m so-,”

“No, no, no…don’t apologize” Sung Gyu shook his head. “No, Woohyun, I’m sorry. I should have told you, I should have known that you cared”

Woohyun’s straight was impassive as he tried to protect the last ounce of dignity he had left. He was of the kind who hated having to apologize, deeming that whatever he did was always right while he thought the other person was the one to have done wrong. It was strange to hear apologies coming from his obtuse self. But if it was a snarky remark, well then, that’s most expected. He’s smart comeback came before late. “Of course you should be, I always cared for your sorry , Hyung”

Sung Gyu’s eyebrows raised in amusement then, and he stole a glance at Eunji who looked equally amused, a secretive exchange which didn’t go unnoticed as Woohyun looked back and forth at them, looking confused.

“What?”

“Money to the swear jar, Woohyun” Sung Gyu said.

“W-what?” Woohyun looked around as if in a daze, and Eunji gave him a pompous ‘I-told-you-so’ look. “This is no fair” Woohyun scowled. “I came all the way here to look over his sentimental bum but I’m being subjected to some crap inside joke?”

Sung Gyu sighed with a smile, but just when he was about to say the line again, a third voice interrupted them with a gist. “Money to the swear Jar, uncle Woohyun”

Both Eunji and Sung Gyu broke into hysterics upon seeing the dejected look in Woohyun’s face, his ears taking up a vivid shade of crimson. “Oh I give up” Woohyun threw his hands in the air, looking all angry and hurt by the conjoined reaction. “I’m going home”

Sung Gyu shook his head and reached over to Woohyun with an extended hand. “Come here you little idiot” He said, caught Woohyun by his shoulders and pulled him into a warm hug. Eunji watched the exchange from behind them, envying Woohyun at how Sung Gyu’s arms held him in place in all the perfect ways, his long fingers threaded in Woohyun’s hair and his face in his shoulder. But she was happy, and she was proud of herself.

“You stink, Woohyun” Sung Gyu muttered in a muffled voice.

“Shut up, Hyung” Woohyun retorted with not even making an effort to move away.

“Forgive me?” Sung Gyu added then in a smaller voice, and Woohyun, he genuinely relaxed in Sung Gyu’s warm embrace. A smiled appeared on his lips which disappeared seconds before he pulled away from him. “Let’s talk”

Author's note.

Hello everyone. I'm sorry for the chapter blip today. Like I said earlier, lots of reasons. As you can see, the amount of messy, sobby drama is increasing in this story and it honestly needs time and patience to build up this difficult story line. A chapter of 20k+ words is not easy. This is a gigantic chapter of 24k words. I hope you can imagine the amount of time and effort I had to pour into it to bring it to near perfection. I'm not trying to brag or anything. I just want my dear readers to understand that i'm really trying to give my best in writing this and make up to all that i was lacking in, in the other stories and previous chapters of this story that i have written. I'm managing this as well as other non-fanfiction stuff along with college and cats and friends and life, so it does get pretty difficult, hindering me from updating for a long time which at times, stretches beyond a month or even more. I apologise for that even though it's a pretty humane reason. I know everyone is waiting to read what happens next, but i guess, reading a story which has some nastily long chapters requires some patience. Trust me, writing this was no joke. I'm pretty sure I'd need a back and wrist replacement soon, (kidding)

Anyway, I didn't want to rant, but that was in response to people who were asking about the updates. I hope my answers provided enough of an idea. Also, I want to thank EVERYONE who left me PMs and comments asking about the chapter which disappeared and asking for my well-being. I'm so glad and thankful for you. Words can't explain my gratitude, honestly. You are real gems, and I love you. In response, yes, I am okay, except for the usual college stress and stuff, and I guess I will be okay for sometime as well. Thank you for looking out for me. I suppose i'm truly blessed to have you.

I'll stop here then. it was a long, long message. Apologies!

Hope you enjoyed the chapter! For heads up, keep some tissues ready for the next one.

Loads of love,

Achini