By the fifteenth of march, nine years later, Sung Gyu had given up sitting by the window, waiting for her to return. He’s accepted it was only in his past. He had accepted that he had to move on in his life. Sung Jae has grown up into a wonderful child, he has moved into his own home, fallen in love so many times, fallen out of love so many times, and never had he ever waited again. The wait was over, and she was gone from his life. She still was, even after she returned, claiming her child back. The child whom she abandoned seven years ago and returned to, to follow after for two years. She still was none-existent to him. The barrier between the two of them grew taller and stronger until she couldn’t have a glimpse into his life, not even if she stood on her toes and bruised her fingers in the process of it. What he didn’t realize, however, was the fact that the foundation of that whole, systematic arrangement of keeping her away from his life was him, little Sung Jae. Little Sung Jae was the only gap which set them apart. Or, more precisely; he was the gaping hole between them which kept him completely on the edge in the feat of falling deep. If it wasn’t for him; well, Sung Gyu would still have fallen deep. He was that so petty for love.

Nine years later, instead of sitting by the window and waiting for his past love to turn up (they hadn’t any windows anyway) Sung Gyu went to work. There were three days to go before Sung Jae’s birthday, which also meant it was Myung-Soo, his new neighbor-slash-college’s birthday today. But did Sung Gyu care enough to pop in and wish him before work or even give him a single text or a phone call? No, he didn’t. That bastard didn’t deserve it. For one, his weird- brother was stalking his baby-sitter whom he paid for and who would have stayed home, otherwise; and second off, Myung Soo forgot Sung Gyu’s birthday for two years, consecutively; wished him after he purposefully invited him and the rest of the guys out for a drink to celebrate the special occasion and offered to buy him a drink which he bloody well knew he wouldn’t accept it. He didn’t deserve it. And yes. He was that so petty about his birthday too.

Myung Soo invited him out for a drink, nonetheless; he had a text from him that morning but he didn’t even put in that tiny ounce of effort required to type out a polite ‘Sorry, I’m busy’ response. He ignored it, deleted it for the best, stuffed his phone into his pocket and walked into the kitchen to find Sung Jae in his school uniform, kneeling on top on the kitchen cabinet, doodling on the calendar with a red felt marker, and Eunji the silent bystander watching the whole thing with genuine interest.

“What on earth is he doing?” He asked Eunji. It wasn’t Eunji who replied, nonetheless.

“I am marking my birthday” Sung Jae explained, still doodling on the calendar. “Baby sitter didn’t know it was my birthday. How could she bring me a present if she didn’t?”

Eunji made a sincerely impressed face at Sung Jae’s logic, and nodded. Sung Gyu could only shake his head, hopelessly. How hard was it to raise a son, really? Without all the occasional (which was quite frequent) embarrassing set-backs getting on their way? How hard was it to raise a daughter, again?

Sung looked at Eunji and managed an apologetic smile, which Eunji, from her part, simply brushed off with a flick of her hand, like magic. “Oh don’t mind me” She said and gave him a smile. “He already told me your birthday, and circled it as well, because, apparently, you get cranky when you don’t get presents”

Sung Gyu froze. “W-what?”

“Don’t worry too much about it, anyway” She carried on, deliberately winding him up when she knew perfectly well that he wasn’t really enjoying it. “We all get cranky when people forget our birthdays”

The thing is, Sung Gyu indeed, was incredibly petty. He’d hold a grudge against the person who forgot his birthday until the next one would come around, and purposefully overlook the birthday of that person who forgot, and also subtly point out to them what an ungrateful person they were. He would keep delicately reminding everyone that his birthday was coming around, which he considered a very important occasion (regardless of the fact that it only meant he was getting older) at least a week prior to that, and then, even after all that fretful reminding he had to do, if anyone happened to forget this particular important occasion, he wouldn’t talk to them for a week and grumble about their terrible, stinking personality. Sung Gyu always seemed to forget that personality had nothing to do with one’s forgetfulness, and nobody bothered to remind him, anyway.

And it was one of the many fatherly traits that Sung Jae had predominantly inherited. The only difference was that Sung Jae wasn’t only openly petty but also, instead of sending indirect hints on someone’s forgetfulness, he’d straight off go and point it out to their face without hesitation and a moment of contemplation. Life was pretty simple for Kim Sung jae. He was eight. He didn’t have to worry about the aftermath of the things he did. (and the aftermath affected Sung Gyu, not him, so it couldn’t really be a problem after all) Just like how he made an important point of reminding Eunji of his birthday, and to give him presents, in case of anyone forgetting it; he didn’t have to think.

Later that morning, after having a very lousy breakfast of half burnt eggs and toast (Since Eunji spent half of her time winding Sung gyu up by sending him unprecedented hints about his birthday, which wasn’t even close, so to speak) Sung Gyu found himself driving off through the slight drizzle of the spring with Sung Jae belted up on his side, him distractedly looking out the window. When the car stopped for the red light, Sung Gyu looked over at his son. It was strange to suddenly realize the noticeable differences of the child from the day he first held him in his arms. Sung Jae had so much as stretched out into a slightly chubby little thing with a height too much for a child of his age. Sung Gyu could remember how he himself was the tallest kid in his class during primary school; the tiny eyed kid who was too tall for his age and had a penchant for getting into trouble at every time possible. He was much different from Sung jae, if not, much worse. Comparing to him, the nine-year-old Sung Jae was much matured and much calmer and well-mannered than he had ever been. Nine-year-old Sung Gyu was the conductor of the primary school orchestra, his eyes always hid behind the apples of his cheeks when he smiled, his hair stood out like the thorns of a porcupine and had a tendency to pick a fight with just about anyone who got on his way. Sung Jae, on the other hand was a milder (fatter) version of himself, and it was hard to ignore that he also carried so much of the liberty his mother used to have. Him growing up also meant them slowly growing apart from each other. Although there wasn’t even a sign of this happening, it scared him.

“Appa” Sung Jae’s voice suddenly came through the pitter-patter of the rain, which pulled him out of his reverie and he was soon startled by the endless honking coming from behind. Sung Jae was giving him a slightly confused look.

“Appa, it’s the green light, you’ve got to drive”

“O-oh” Sung Gyu blinked, looked ahead as if trying to get his mind straight and whizzed off through the streams of raindrops down the slippery streets.

By the time they came into the parking lot of the school, the rain had finally ceased into a slightest drizzle which was so much as a cold wind at that time. Sung Gyu parked the car right a few feet away from the school entrance and helped Sung Jae into his raincoat. He covered his bag with a plastic casing and arranged Sung Jae’s messy locks with his fingers. Then he stared down at the child for a moment too long and began to see the younger himself in his eyes.

“Appa I have to go” Sung Jae said then, as if to remind him, and Sung gyu nodded in return with a smile.

“Okay, have a good day at school” he said, and pat his son on his arm. Sung Jae was growing up so fast, it was suddenly so hard to believe that this was the same kid he held in his arms in a tiny bundle eight years ago and had tears welling up in his eyes when he smiled.

“Sung jae” Sung Gyu called suddenly, his voice coated thick with emotions. Sung Jae halted in pushing open the door and turned back to his father. “Yeah?”

Sung gyu leaned over the middle compartment, put both his hands around his tiny built and brought his son into a warm embrace. His fingers pressed against the plastic of the hood behind his head, and he kissed long on the child’s forehead with his eyes shut tight.

“Appa?” Sung Jae’s muffled voice reverberated against his chest.

“Hm?”

“I can’t breathe”

Sung Gyu chuckled, pulled away and tousled his hair underneath the plastic hood. “Sung Jae-ah”

“Yeah?”

Sung Gyu took a deep breath, and let it out with a smile. “I love you”

Sung Jae giggled like a little girl and pushed open the door in an embarrassed frenzy. Yet, as he fled out the door like a little bird being released from its cage, Sung Jae didn’t forget to yell over his shoulder; “I love you too, Appa!” Which left Sung Gyu sitting in his car for a few long minutes, smiling to himself like an idiot.

*

Unbeknownst to him, a third pair of eyes were engaged in their little, heart-felt exchange as a quiet spectator. Yoora had now made it a habit to come to Sung Jae’s school at all times possible; whether it’s after school, in the morning, or even in the lunch hour. She’d come over and be all chummy with the security persons and also the other parents who occasionally visit for one thing or the other, recite her sob story of separated parents of whom the father wouldn’t let her see the son and earn everyone’s simphathy, which slowly paved the path to her next plan in the line. She wouldn’t say it was fool-proof. But at least she had gained her allies, and their trust. She could win that just any day, with just a flick of her now-black hair and a smile. All she had to do now was trace their paths, hide in the shadows, and just wait.

*

Even as she busied herself with the daily chores, Eunji’s mind was entertaining all the ideas for Sung Jae’s birthday. It’s been more than a year already since she started working for the Kim’s, and the previous year when she was not much accustomed to them, she had successfully avoided in taking part in their birthday celebrations. While the financial condition she had at that time hindered her from doing anything extravagant, or just anything at all for neither of their birthdays, she hadn’t felt comfortable enough in their company to spend that special occasion with them. Sung Gyu had gone to his parents’ house on both his and Sung Jae’s birthdays, and even if he most half-heartedly invited her to join them, she’d declined, all for the reason that his entire family, especially his mother, used to intimidate her. And it wasn’t making her feel any better when both the son and the father looked like they’ve stepped on cow-dung when they invited her, or even talked to her on their birthdays. It made her feel mostly unwelcomed, not only in their house but also in their lives. This feeling soon dissipated as her need for money became more imperative over her need of gaining congeniality from the two of them. It was only today, after hearing it all from the kid himself that it occurred to her that they were only being cranky and begrudging on their birthdays the previous years, because she never really passed her well wishes. On the other hand, however, it’s been only a few weeks, back then, since she came to work for them. How on earth was she even supposed to know? Did he actually expect her to have a super power of some sort that it would magically occur to her that it was their birthdays?

While she was hanging the laundry off to dry, Eunji twisted her lips, rolled her eyes and wringed one of Sung Gyu’s shirts, imagining it was his hair, or his neck, even, that she was twisting with much effort. Sung Gyu was the sulkiest, pettiest, and the most childish human specimen she had ever come across in her life. And it wasn’t any better that the son was no different. The shirt she was wringing smelled so nice, smelled so much like him; she liked it, so she couldn’t even hate him for that.

That is why, on this year, she was going to make their birthdays the biggest deals of the entire year. Perhaps a bigger deal than thanksgiving (which already passed and wasn’t so much of a big deal), or Christmas, or new year. She’d make sure that they would feel like the most important little s of this entire planet so they’d stop being so salty about people not putting so much effort into their birthdays the first place. She’d make them see their birthdays in a different light. She’d make their inflated egoistic self-esteems go down a notch. She’d make them understand that the whole ing world did not, indeed, revolve around them.

She had quite a few ideas which she obtusely deemed as magnificent. They really were. They were a lot better than any of the ideas Woohyun would come up with on throwing a birthday party. One was to bring them to her sister’s house, the backyard of which she would fill with farm animals. She knew how much Sung Gyu hated animals of every size and form, unless they came on his plate, so a party filled of farm animals (and a cake in the shape of a pig’s rear end, a twisted tail included) would make his birthday celebration simply unforgettable. Also he would stop thinking that he was the center of everyone’s universes. The only problem was that his birthday came just about a month and a half after Sung Jae’s, which also meant that she had to prepare for Sung Jae’s birthday before everything.

The only idea she had for Sung Jae’s birthday was to make a princess castle cake, possibly with a strawberry jell-o cheesecake as the base. (since her rather demotivating experience of making this particular cake for the two of them, she had grown an interminable hatred towards it) The only problem was that she could never bring herself to have any kind of ill feelings towards the child as much as she possibly could towards the father. In her mind, Sung Jae had done nothing wrong. He’s learnt all of this mean, egoistic, eccentric behavioral matters from his father, who never seemed to hesitate when he displayed the ugly sides of his personality before his young child, in turn polluting his mind. Children are never born this way. They always learn things from their parents. Sung Jae didn’t have a mother to show him what’s right and wrong, and he had naturally come to mimic, imitate the things that his father did, make him an exact resemblance of his father. She could never blame the child of course. And as difficult as it may be to admit to it, Eunji preferred the child over his father. She actually loved the little moron a little more than she should.

Through her distracting thoughts, Eunji managed to complete all of her morning chores and found herself sitting on the kitchen counter with the baking alarm set to ring in another forty-five minutes in time for her to go and pick Sung Jae, while feasting on an entire carton of ice cream as she waited. The rain outside hadn’t ceased. She knew this in courtesy of her phone, since the stupid house hadn’t a single window. It took her fifteen minutes to grow tired of the flavor of the ice cream (which was as bland as the person who purchased it), and soon she was completely worn out to the point she was wavering mid-sleep and awake, swaying back and forth on top of the counter. The baking alarm began to ring and dance across the counter like a wild animal. Startled; Eunji almost slipped off the counter onto the floor. She gained her balance and composure just in time. She had a quick trip to the bathroom, washed her sleepiness off her eyes, did her hair and touched her lips with a peach tint before she fled downstairs in order to pick the little brat from school.

It was raining even as she stood outside the school entrance, watching all the other students leaving with their parents or to the school bus, while Sung Jae took his sweet time to make his way out the door. Her umbrella barely stayed above her due to the heavy rain and her shoulders were already damp. She was grumbling complaints to all the deities above who put her into this state when she noticed something odd among the plenty of parents waiting for their children to return.

It wasn’t anything so significantly odd, so to speak. Just a swish of long and dark wavy hair and black ankle boots which seemed to tell her something. Perhaps it was feminine instincts, or perhaps it was a Deja-vu incident. Nonetheless, she couldn’t shake of the eerie feeling that these distinct features were oddly familiar. Possibly because she was always wary of someone waiting at the entrance to snatch Sung Jae away, that certain someone being Yoora, who had disappeared since the time she came all the way to the Kim’s residence. Eunji didn’t see her waiting at the entrance anymore, nor did she visit them over at the apartment or call the landline or Sung Gyu’s phone. It was as if she had decided against her better judgement. Nonetheless, Eunji could never be too sure herself, hence coming to wait for Sung Jae by the gate every day.

She didn’t understand why Eunji herself was parting with Sung gyu and his strange perception towards letting the boy meet his real mother. Though she always thought that Sung Gyu had a good reason to not to let them meet, his behavior around her became more odd and unclear that it made everything seem even more complex. There was no way that Yoora would actually try to take Sung Jae into her care; it was legally impossible since Sung Jae’s guardian was changed in his birth registries from the day he was abandoned and taken under his father’s care. Neither did Yoora attempt to ever run off with the child. All she wanted was to meet him. And while Sung Jae didn’t seem to harbor any hard feelings towards his mother, being a child grown up for his age, it didn’t come to her as a problem either. It all lied in Sung Gyu and his eccentric perspectives towards the entire ordeal. It was almost evident to her that he was doing this mostly for himself. But why? What was he scared of? What was he afraid to lose?

Through the crowd Eunji could See Sung Jae dragging his feet rather lousily as if him walking was all a need of his feet. He didn’t seem down or anything. He was just bored, and sleepy. He was only being a younger version of his father. Eunji couldn’t help it but roll her eyes; yet, unaware to her, herself, there was a small smile fighting to grace her lips.

Sung Jae was so sleepy that he was simply walking past her and blindly walking towards the lady who stood a few feet away from her. It was understandable that she also had dark hair (only a little longer), wore similar boots and carried a similar umbrella. But no ordinary child could ever be so drowsy enough to not distinguish between the two.

“Yah, Kim Sung Jae!” Eunji called loudly, and it was only then that Sung Jae stopped to turn towards her. The lady has turned as well but her face was hidden behind the umbrella which she held uncharacteristically low. Eunji was too tired to take not of her odd behavior; all she did was dragging herself towards Sung Jae with much reluctance and helping him into his raincoat while addressing his drowsiness before leading him through the rain into the car.

The rain had so much as evaporated, bringing the warm sun from behind the heavy clouds by the time they finally arrived at the apartment building. Sung Jae wanted to pick some snacks and Eunji wanted to buy a few things for lunch and a warm cup of coffee to wash off her weariness. They spent some time down at the super market and the lobby area of the plaza, Sung Jae eating a doughnut while she feasted on her sweet, warm beverage. Later on she went to the counter to pick up the post while Sung Jae hopped around impatiently as he held the elevator doors open.

“Hurry up, baby sitter!” He yelled across the hallway so loud that she could hear him all the way near the counter. “I’m hungry!”

She gave a brief farewell to the lady at the postal counter and hurried across the hall and into the elevator. “Tch! you already had a doughnut, how could you still be hungry?”

“That was only a snack” Sung Jae huffed. “Doughnuts don’t pass as lunch”

Eunji rolled her eyes as she hastily went through the post. “You’re too smart for your own good”

Upon arriving at the apartment, Sung Jae walked over a few love notes Moon Soo the stalker had slipped under the door with not so much care, leaving muddy stains on them, took off his shoes and ran into his room. Eunji picked up the love notes, glad that they received Sung Jae’s muddy-feet treatment. The letters from the stalker only kept getting frequent, but Eunji ran into the subject himself less frequently since the guy worked until late in his studio, working on his pieces only to return home, stinking drunk almost every night, slurring weird literary quotes and poetry at his innocent older brother. All was good as long as he didn’t get on her way. Sung Gyu, as strange as it may be, made sure that she was always out of harm’s way which could be from the stalker.

She dumped the mud-stained love-notes into the bin in the kitchen and left the rest of the letters on the kitchen table before she busied herself with preparing a late lunch for Sung Jae. The kid waltzed into the room minutes later, changed out of his school clothes, hair damp and skin rubbed crimson after a shower. He sat down at the table and began to lazily go through his father’s post; something he did almost every day in hopes he had received a letter from someone non-existent.

“Jae, how was school?” Eunji asked as she drained the rice. “Was the home-room teacher mean to you again?”

“Hm, no” Sung Jae replied distractedly.

“Are y’all doing anything from school during the spring?” She pushed on.

“Nope”

A few minutes passed, and while Eunji busied her mind, thinking of other questions to keep the conversation running, Sung Jae suddenly pushed his chair back with a creek and began to hop up and down in delight.

“Baby-sitter! Look!” he bellowed. Eunji left the tap running, wiped her hands on her jeans and came to the child, only to see him holding up a small rectangular pastel blue envelop in his hand. True to his words, the letter was addressed to him.

“I got a letter! I finally got a letter!”

His exhilarated hopping stopped and he proudly held out the letter in her direction as if to show her his latest achievement. Eunji, nonetheless, was rather wary of this sudden occurrence. In her knowledge, Sung Jae had never received anything on post, except for his school acceptance letter, which was years ago. And there wasn’t anyone significant who would actually address a letter to him, except for his grandparents whom, she knew, wouldn’t really send him anything over the post, not even for his birthday. They’d rather deliver it themselves. It was rather peculiar, and it concerned her.

“Sung jae-ah” she said mildly as she slowly took the letter from his hand, being careful not to startle him. “It’s nice that you got a letter, but is there anyone who would send you anything?” She asked in case it was something related to school, though it didn’t look anything like it.

“Hmm” Sung Jae thought out loudly. “Maybe it’s Appa! It’s a card for my birthday!”

“But your birthday is three days away!” Eunji argued, holding the letter above her head while Sung Jae hopped up to snatch it. “Jae, it could be a mistake. Maybe it’s for your dad and they must have mistaken the last syllable”

“But Appa’s Gyu and I’m Jae” Sung Jae argued even further. “There’s no way anyone made a mistake! Give me my letter!”

“No” Eunji said sternly, and for better measure, she struck it in her shirt, under her bra strap. “It could be dangerous. Besides there’s nobody sending you a post!”

This, somehow, happened to be a rather sensitive thing to say, since it was related to his birthday coming in another three days, which he thought so highly of. Eunji could actually hear his heart break when he stared at her with sad puppy eyes. “N-nobody? Nobody sends me a birthday card?”

Eunji felt her head spinning. Just when will the two of them stop having so much of high expectations about their birthdays?

She sighed and turned to face the boy with a straight face. “Look, Sung Jae. I’ll give it to your daddy and he’d give it to you if it’s not for him, okay?”

“But what if it was a birthday card for me? I don’t want him to open my birthday card! I want to open it!”

“Well he’d stick it close again and you can open it!” Eunji argued in return.

“Then it wouldn’t be the same!”

Eunji was on the brink of her patience as she buried her hands in her pockets before looking at the boy challengingly. “Look, Sung Jae”

“You’re a meanie!” Sung Jae exclaimed, pointing an accusing finger at her direction. “You’re the worst baby sitter in the whole world!”

With that, he threw her the scariest ever glare that he could muster and stomped away out of the kitchen, down the corridor, into his room and slammed the door shut behind him.

And for a moment she felt like she just picked a fight with not Sung Jae, but his father. The amount of pettiness they had didn’t seem to have a limit.

*

Due to the rainy season, the amount of road accidents and crimes of all sorts had raised, making it a hectic period for the private investigators. The national police were lousy, and could hardly handle a single case, let alone a dozens of them. Every two days, a new one is handed over to the special investigations agency, and every two days, their workload increased. Sung Gyu could barely catch a breath as he drove from one end of the city to the other, with Woohyun sitting beside him, blabbering away, making it all even worse. By the end of the day, Sung Gyu was completely devoid of energy and lacked of will to even live. (He was constantly amazed by how Woohyun never ran out of energy to talk without cease every second of the day) The only consolation was that he had momentum to run and complete his day’s work within the working hours and being able to return home in time.

And he did, exhausted, his eyes barely open, his limbs numb and mind a mess, fall into a kitchen chair and drown in self-loathe, reconsidering all the decisions he had made in life. For now, the only good decision he had made recently was hiring Eunji as a baby sitter and increasing her pay, because every evening she never left him room to worry about preparing dinner. She left it all prepared, ready to be heated and served. At times like this, he was seeing her as a guardian angel. An eccentric, slightly despicable guardian angel.

Upon returning home on that day, however, he realized, the house was quieter than it usually was. If it was a normal day, Eunji and Sung Jae would either be playing video games on the TV, watching some sappy drama with the volume high enough to make someone deaf, or playing some weird game in the living room. Today, it was uncharacteristically quiet. As if someone had pressed a snooze button to their uncontrollably loud behavior.

“Miss Jung? Sung Jae?” He called out wearily as he removed his shoes on the doorway. The house was so quiet that his voice echoed throughout the large expanse. There was a clutter coming from the kitchen, followed by the sound of footsteps. Soon Eunji returned with an apron on and a messy bun, a wooden spoon in her hand, dripping with broth. “Ooh! You’re home” She whispered, her face carrying a strange smile.

“Why are you whispering?” Sung Gyu whispered back.

“I don’t know. Why are you whispering?”

Sung Gyu cleared his throat and took off his jacket. “Where is Sung jae? Why is it so quiet here?”

Eunji shrugged and turned back to return to the kitchen. Over her shoulder she said as if it wasn’t anything to be concerned of; “He picked a fight with me and locked himself up in his room. Don’t worry, he came out for lunch. He’s back in there again”

“Picked a fight with you?” Sung Gyu repeated as if the words were sour in his mouth, as he followed her into the kitchen. “About what? About which drama to watch? About who ate the most cheesy-balls?”

Eunji rolled her eyes and returned to her place by the stove. The stew had already simmered away and was ready to be served. She threw in some chopped chives before turning down the fire, taking her apron off and returning to the kitchen table where Sung Gyu was reclining on a chair, looking completely disoriented. She shook her head and launched into a complete account on the previous incidents regarding the letter Sung Jae received, addressed to him.

“Addressed to him?’ Sung Gyu repeated, picking up momentum, finally returning to himself from his drowsy stupor. “What is the nature of the letter? Can I see it?”

Eunji rolled her eyes at him sounding like he’s interrogating a criminal and shamelessly dipped her hand into her shirt. Just in case if Sung jae tried to snatch it while she’s distracted, Eunji opted to guard it in her bra.

Sung Gyu’s eyes grew as big as dishes upon seeing where she produced the letter from. “Where the hell were you hiding it?”

“Under my bra strap” Eunji shrugged with no shame, even if Sung Gyu’s face took up a bright shade of crimson.

“What the hell! What if it was a harmful material? What-what it was ing Anthrax!”

Eunji rolled her eyes and dumped it on the table before him. Upon seeing the ‘nature’ of the letter, the fact that she’s been hiding it somewhere outrageous simply flew out the window, leaving an expression of pure unadulterated shock on his face. He genuinely appalled right under her eyes, and he shot up onto his feet as if the chair he sat on was electrocuted. His pale, slender fingers trembled slightly as if in fear, and Eunji wasn’t sure if she should be surprised or concerned.

“B-boss?”

“W-where…where did you find it?” Sung gyu mumbled slowly, his hand gripping the letter so hard that the edges crumpled.

“I told you…it was in the post”

Sung Gyu didn’t respond. Instead, with trembling hands, he hastily ripped open the envelop and pulled out the content, his eyes widened and his jaws set. Eunji was worried if it was indeed something harmful which came in the post, possibly a threat regarding one of the cases he was working on. She wondered if she should be worried that she hid it in her bra.

“Boss?” She called, but Sung Gyu wasn’t moving as he stared at the content in his hands. To her angle, what it seemed like was a photograph.

Sung Gyu stared at the photograph for a split of a second, and then suddenly he lost his balance and fell into the chair he previously sat on with a thud, the photograph still grasped tightly on his pale fingers, the pale blue envelop crumpled in his other hand.

A pale blue envelop. A photograph. Suddenly it hit her with a massive pang.

“Is-is it…?” She mumbled, leaning over his shoulder to catch a better sight of the photograph, which he soon ed away before burying his face in both his shaky palms. Eunji picked it up carefully and stared down at the images attentively.

It was a photograph of a woman. Dark hair, distinct, gentle, beautiful features despite weary eyes, in a blue hospital robe, sitting on a hospital bed. In her arms was a tiny bundle wrapped warmly in a blue blanket, a small pink face was peeking out, and from below were two small bare feet. A baby.

Eunji felt her heart beat raise in milliseconds. She could recognize this person all too well. She could tell who it was right away. She could put two and two together and figure out what was going on without even having to think any further. She too, ed the photo onto the table as if it stung her.

It was Yoora. And Sung Jae. On the day he was born eight years ago.

*

It wasn’t that Sung Gyu didn’t feel he was overreacting. He knew it, he took note of it, he repented it, he wished he didn’t react the way he did. But whenever something happens where Sung Jae was concerned, there was no stopping in him being extra sensitive about it. He has thought long and hard about it. Why he felt that way, why he could never stop himself; yet there wasn’t ever a plausible conclusion he could come into, as if he didn’t know himself enough. He knew that there was something underneath all of these that he refused to acknowledge, and the fact that he refused, itself hindered the truth from surfacing, leaving him in the dark. In a way, it was good. It was fine, as long as he was oblivious, as long as the fact of the matter never hurt him, confuse him. It was okay. Even if it meant he’d always be overreacting, it was okay.

“Did Sung jae see it?” He asked Eunji who was now seated in a kitchen chair beside him, waiting for his initial shock to wear off. His voice was small, tired. All the weariness from work was hitting him hard, almost knocking him off.

“I didn’t let him” She said, cleared and looked away. “I…hid it. I told him he’d get it through you”

Despite her having hidden it in the worst place possible, he was thankful for her.

“That was good thinking of you” he commented and gave her a weary smile. The smile disappeared as soon as it came to him. He looked down at the photograph again, and felt his skin prickle. The reaction eerily similar to the one he got six years ago, the first time he saw the photograph of his new born child. He thought there would be a pattern to it, like a photo or anything related to Sung Jae would suddenly emerge every two years on his birthday. Yoora liked to play games like that, the same way she played with his feelings. To love him, to leave him. It was all a trap, a set up. She had it all planned in her mind. Even if she never did, he couldn’t help but feel that way. And it made him despise her even more. Yet, it’s been six years since the last one emerged. And nothing significant happened for ages after that, all until she suddenly turned up on Christmas when Sung Jae was seven years old. There was no pattern. Yoora did these things whenever she felt like it. The game she was playing now, however, was distinct, well-executed, all in order to wind Sung Gyu up and crush him until he’d give in. The worse bit was that she knew how sensitive Sung Gyu was about his son. She knew all the sore spots to hit. But why? What was her purpose? Why would she even go through all that trouble just to have a moment with her son, the very son she abandoned so many years ago? t’s even worse that he couldn’t even hold himself back from breaking whenever he set his eyes on those photographs, from the day Sung Jae was born. He’d take note of everything, every tender fine detail even if most were hard to catch with eyes. How tiny and fragile Sung Jae had been, the redness of his skin, the dark tuft of hair and thin dark eyes, staring into the new world he was born into, unaware of all the uncertainty and cruelty it beheld. Then there was Yoora, young and tender, just as he remembered from the days they were together, chasing their dreams. Unlike the girl he knew and loved, the girl in the photographs was tired, lost, hopeless. Her smile was forced, her eyes were bleary, her skin was appalled. She wasn’t the girl he had always known, and it killed him that it was him who made her that way. He knew that it wasn’t fair, for himself, to act like it was all his fault. Certainly, it took two to make a child, and it wasn’t like Sung Gyu forced her into anything. But to know that she had to live through her pregnancy all by herself, she had to give birth all by herself, it made him feel almost inhuman. The photographs made him think of the pain she must have gone through. The loneliness, and the moment she realized that her whole life was over. He couldn’t go on blaming her that she ran away from him. What if he never agreed to take her in if she did come to him, heavily pregnant with his child, begging for help? Sung Gyu, young, ambitious, fresh out of college wouldn’t have harbored the same thoughts he had now. She must have been horrified, and she must have felt he’d ask her to destroy the outcome of their love in most brutal ways. That’s what it must have been. She’s been afraid. And it was all he could think about whenever he’d look at the photographs. It broke him inside.

“What are you going to do with it?” Eunji asked in a small voice, breaking through the silence, and he looked up to meet her concerned gaze.

“I…I don’t know” he muttered and let out a sigh. “I’m probably going to do what I did with the last one”

“Oh…”

It occurred to him that she might not know what he was referring to, so he looked up to meet her eyes. “You know, on the day that Sung Jae turned three, Yoora left a similar photo at my parents’ house when we were still living there”

“I know…” Eunji whispered and nodded. She slid a few strands of her hair behind her ear and kept her face hidden in the shadows as she spoke. “I was there…I mean, I didn’t know what exactly happened, though I knew something was wrong…then Woohyun Oppa told me everything…”

Sung Gyu didn’t respond to that, as he quietly recalled the incidents from that day. Things were rather different at that time. He was young and hopeless, he was waiting for her to return because all he had in his mind was a dream to build a family together, him, her and their son. A beautiful image was imprinted in his mind that he was ready to do everything to achieve it. But that night when she left him with a part of her world that he always failed to grasp, it occurred to him, that his dream was indeed nothing but a dream.

“But…” Eunji went on, her face still in the shadows. “Boss…why wouldn’t you let her see him? She can’t, like, claim his custody again, and she doesn’t seem to have the intention to. She probably only wants to-,”

“Why should she ever see him if it was her who left him!?!” Sung Gyu bellowed, rendering her silent. Sung Gyu never meant to raise his voice at her like that, even if she was saying things that he didn’t want to hear. Eunji was only trying to help; as a friend, as Sung Jae’s baby sitter. All Sung Gyu could do was shamelessly overreact to it. What was with him, anyway? What made him get so worked up?

“Sorry…sorry” He mumbled, took a deep breath and ran his hands down his face. “I’m sorry, I’m just…” Overreacting.

“It’s okay” Eunji whispered and retrieved her hands which rested on the table before him. She gained her voice, soon enough, as if it suddenly occurred to her that there was no need for her to be so quiet and sensitive. “Anyway, it’s getting late. I should probably just go home”

“O-oh…” Sung Gyu finally came to, and he himself stood up the same moment that Eunji did. She hurried through the dinner preparations, reheated the stew and checked on the rice she had long put on to cook. Sung Gyu watched her all through this, feeling terrible that he had not only held her back behind time but also lost his temper at her. Eunji was only trying to be helpful at a moment where he was slowly losing himself, like she always did, and he had gone off and ruined it.

“Miss Jung” He called out after her as she hurried out of the kitchen and into the hallway where she busied herself with putting on her coat and her shoes. He leaned against the doorframe with one hand on his pocket, the other pinching on the bridge of his nose between his eyes. “Just let me drop you home”

“Nope” Eunji declined and shook her head. “I came by car so I have to drive myself home before late”

“It’s fine” he pushed on. “I can take a taxi back home. I owe you that”

Eunji looked up at him with a small, genuine smile, which made his heart skip a beat. “It’s absolutely fine, boss. It was already a long day for you. You must be tired. All you need is a good sleep. I’d be fine on my own”

Sung Gyu opened his mouth to respond, but then he knew that she was right. It wasn’t that he lost his temper on her. He just never could because she didn’t deserve it. It was only that he snapped with so much going on in his life. It was just natural. And she understood him.

“I’ll be going then” Eunji said and pulled open the door. She glanced out at the either ends out of habit, in case her stalker lurked around in the dark. Once she was certain the coast was clear, she stepped out and waved brightly at him. He waved back.

“Make sure you hide it. And make sure you make him understand, he’s still mad at me”

It took Sung Gyu a moment to understand whom she was referring to was in fact his own son. Yet, by the time he actually formed a response, Eunji had already disappeared into the dark.

*

Later that night, Sung Gyu poured the stew Eunji had made for dinner into two bowls and along with two cups of steamed rice and bottles of water, he carried it all in a tray into the living room, set them on the stool facing the TV and went to call Sung Jae out for dinner. He deemed that the child had grown up enough to walk out from his own wrath. Though he was unsure of how far the fight they picked went, Sung Jae had to grow the ability to walk out of it himself and even apologize. Sung Gyu tried his best to make his son a better version of himself, make sure that he was everything that Sung gyu himself wasn’t.

Sung Jae dragged himself out of the room with bed head and sleepy eyes, making it evident that he had gone right off to bed after lunch. His eyes were smaller than usual and his pouty lips could hardly get a word out, which made him all the more adorable. Sung Gyu kept his face straight, nonetheless, and ordered him to wash his face and make himself presentable before they have dinner together. Sung Jae followed him and took his sweet time to get himself ready as if they were actually going out or something. By the time he returned, Sung Gyu had already played a round on Sung jae’s console, and had lost.

“Appa, did you just lose?” Sung Jae called from the doorway and Sung Gyu was startled to the point where he dropped the console.

“Oh, you’re here” He said, and watched with a confused face as Sung Jae walked across the room without not so much as acknowledging him, picked up the console and exited the game.

“Appa you lost all my wins in this round, I worked hard on it!” He exclaimed, making it evident that his anger still hadn’t worn off. Sung Gyu pouted, upset that his play mate was unwilling to do a round despite Sung Gyu’s shortcomings in actually playing a video game, yet he soon composed himself and returned to being a serious, responsible father.

” Yah, I bought it for you, I’m your dad. I can lose if I want!”

Instead of saying anything in response, Sung Jae turned off the TV, dropped the remote on the carpet, sat in the sofa and began to sulk on his own. If it wasn’t an adorable sight, Sung Gyu would have lost his temper at him being so salty towards him. Instead he was seeing so much of himself in him, and it made him smile.

“Sung Jae-ah” He called, only earning a hum from the other. Sung Gyu carried on. “Did you pick a fight with baby-sitter today? Is that why you’re throwing a tantrum now?”

Much to his surprise, Sung Jae gave a reluctant nod. Knowing the kid, Sung Gyu only had to wait, counting under his breath. One…Two…Three-,

“She started it, okay Appa? When I got this letter on post-,” And so he launched into a full length explanation of this incident which was pretty much everything that Eunji had said, only except that Sung Jae had turned it to his own benefit in turn making Eunji look bad. He listened through it rather patiently, and by the end of the account, Sung Jae had already moved to sit next to Sung Gyu on the carpet, and the two of them were having a dinner feast.

“So you’re telling me Miss Jung hid your envelop in her shirt?” Sung Gyu echoed, struggling so hard to not break into hysterics as he recalled the memory of her pulling it out with no shame. “Wah! Isn’t that too much?”

“I know!” Sung Jae exclaimed in agreement with his mouth full. “She’s the worst baby sitter ever! The only thing she’s doing right is cooking”

This time Sung Gyu really couldn’t hold back his laughter. He knew it wasn’t right to make fun of someone behind their back, and that it wasn’t something Sung gyu allowed his son to be doing, but for that moment, he needed it. He needed her to be the distraction she’s always been, regardless of her being or not being in his company. And the thoughts of her made him feel light headed, content. She made him smile in all her weird ways.

“The letter was for me though” Sung Gyu said in the end, though it was a lie, it was a lie that needed to be said. “It was from an aunt in Jeonju. She’s old, she must have gotten the name wrong.”

“Oh…” Sung jae’s face fell, evident disappointment was clouding his eyes. Sung Gyu reached over and squeezed his shoulder softly. “Why? Are you expecting something over post?”

Sung Jae shrugged, his face was passive as he spoke, his eyes stared down at the bowl before him.

“I just thought someone has sent me a birthday card”

“A birthday card?” Sung Gyu echoed. And although he tried to keep the air around them cheerful, he couldn’t help but see an impending dark cloud on their direction. “Whom did you expect a birthday card from?”

As soon as he asked the question, he regretted it. All he could think of was the fact that Yoora had indeed intended to send the photograph as a gift to Sung Jae on his birthday, which technically made it a card, and him saying that he had expected a birthday card from someone, it immediately implied, in his mind, that he had expected a birthday wish from his mother. Sung Gyu swallowed hard, and watched Sung jae as he formed his response in his mind. His heart was raising; his hands were clammy. The last thing he wanted to hear was anything related, even remotely to his mother.

“I don’t know…from grandma and grandpa, from imo, or from baby sitter…or you…?”

Sung Gyu let out a sigh in relief. Not once had it occurred to his son that there was the possibility that he could receive birthday wishes from his mother, and that he already had.

“Oh Sung Jae, do you want to receive a birthday card that badly?” Sung Gyu said as he moved closer to his son. “But we do lots of other stuff on your birthday. Why do you want to receive a card from me? I’d rather give you a present. All of them do so too…”

“We only go to grandma and grandpa…” Sung Jae shrugged and began to pick on his stew.

Sung Gyu gave his son a concerned gaze without really saying anything. The truth was that they’ve never really done much except for going to his parents’ house on both his and Sung Jae’s birthday, cut cake, had dinner, spend the night if it was a week end, and just return home. It wasn’t much exciting so to speak, and Sung Jae often found himself drifting off to sleep and getting bored in the company of adults or being hopeless and miserable with his cousin brothers. Though Sung Gyu always felt bad about doing every year consecutively, he just couldn’t bring himself to do anything other than that. He was so accustomed to spending his own birthday with his parents, and ever since the incident from Sung Jae’s third birthday happened, Sung Gyu couldn’t really bring himself to celebrate it with only he two of them present, as if the entire ordeal had left him with some kind of a traumatic experience. This year, however, he did see the need to change the plans, and he had it all in his mind, he was just about to spill it all on Eunji and get her involved in preparing things. Everything would have gone fine and well if not for the photograph which just had to happen and destruct everything like they did six years ago. Now he had no heart to do anything except spending his birthday at his parents’ as usual.

“We can do something bigger the next year, when you turn ten” Sung Gyu said in a calm voice, in hopes it would somehow convince him. “Besides grandpa and grandma are waiting for your birthday every year, so only this once, okay? When you grow older, they will understand”

Sung Jae, however, just like his father was, was a hard nut to break. He pouted his lips, and still picking on his stew like it was what should be blamed for everything, he spoke in a small voice; “But I’m turning nine. I want to do something fun when I turn nine”

Sung gyu bit his lip and thought hard. He knew that he was being selfish, keeping Sung Jae in the dark, not letting him meet his mother, stopping him from doing what he wanted on his birthday, basically keeping him hidden from a side of their world he should have known long ago. But Sung Gyu just couldn’t bring himself to change things. There was this whole system he had worked hard on building ever since little Sung Jae came into his hands; not to make him unhappy, not to let him know the real story behind the two of them becoming family. There was no reason why the system should change, even if it was to allow a single moment between the mother and the son. Perhaps he was afraid, by letting one string loose, the entire set-up would snap and everything would come undone. Though it would begin with only the simple decision of letting the two meet each other, for once, for only one time, it was as if everything which were buried under the mere fact that Sung Jae didn’t know his mother would resurface and change everything in their lives. He didn’t know what they were, and he didn’t know why he was so afraid of them coming onto the surface again. All he knew was that he had to stop them, hence stop the union from happening. The sole reason why Sung Jae remained a secret from Yoora happened to be this.

Later on that night, after Sung jae was sent to bed, after he himself prepared to sleep, he rang his mother on her phone. He didn’t tell her of the photograph of course. He knew how she could be like. His mother was protective, especially whenever Sung Jae was concerned, and the last thing Sung gyu wanted was for her to catch the wrong ends of the situation and end up doing something rash. His main intention was to discuss his son’s birthday which was due in less than two days.

“He wants something special” Sung Gyu clarified, making sure he kept his voice down, though Sung Jae was sound asleep in his room. “Since he’s turning nine and all…”

“Something special?” His mother repeated thoughtfully. “Like a birthday party?”

Sung Gyu didn’t say anything. In fact, they hadn’t had a birthday party for Sung jae ever since the incident from his third birthday happened, and they never even talked about it.

“No…” Sung gyu’s mother replied to her own question. “Perhaps he’s tired of spending it here at our place…”

Though his mother tried not to make it too obvious, he could easily catch her disappointment.

“No, omma” He said, salvaging the situation. “I think he just, you know, want the company of someone his own age, since it’s only us on his birthday”

“Oh…so why don’t we invite some of his friends over for dinner or something?”

“Friends?” Sung gyu echoed, and immediately recalled the one friend he had whose bathroom he flooded in search for the lost pet hamster. Though Sung Jae had grown up since, he still hadn’t made many friends and most kids avoided him since he had only one parent and everyone deemed him as a troublemaker. “Oh mum…I don’t think he has any friends he’d want to invite…”

“Oh” Sung Gyu’s mother clicked her tongue sympathetically. “Poor kid. Maybe he’d be fine with Jieun’s kids-,”

“No he’s not fine-!” Sung Gyu snapped, but then he cleared his throat, realizing that he was being too obvious on his dislike towards them. He cleared his throat. “No, I mean…they’re a lot younger and all…maybe Hayoung?”

“Hayoung’s gone back to Japan” Sung gyu’s mother said in the same sympathetic tone. “Sung Jae would have liked that little girl on his birthday. Ah, what a shame…” she spent a few minutes contemplating. “Ah, that aside, just make sure you invite the baby-sitter girl this year at least. You totally ignored her last year”

Sung Gyu pouted his lips, recalling what actually happened during the last birthday. He really wanted to ask her to join them, in fact, he did. But Sung Jae didn’t want her to come, neither did Sung Gyu feel like she should, like, who in the world even invited the people who forgot to wish them on their birthday to their birthday party? He was sure such people did exist somewhere on this planet. He was just not one of them.

“Mum, she didn’t even wish him. She didn’t wish me! Why should we have treated her?”

“Eyy…is this how I have raised my son?” His mother grumbled on the other end.

“E-eh?”

“Sung gyu-ah” She added rather sternly. “It’s not that she forgot to wish you on your birthday, or Sung jae’s. She simply didn’t know! You could have told her at least!”

“But who in the world tell others to wish on their birthday?!”

“You don’t have to! You just-!” She let out a long, exasperated sigh, giving up on him. “Ah, forget it. Anyway, just make sure you invite her. Even if there were nobody his age, Sung Jae would like her to be there…”

“Eunji doesn’t act her age anyway” Sung gyu mumbled under his breath.

“Hm?”

“No nothing!” Sung Gyu made an awkward laughter and walked over to his bed. “Anyway, omma, it’s getting late. Guess I should go…”

“Yeah, okay”

They shared good nights and farewells afterwards, before Sung Gyu crawled into his covers, reclined into his comforters and let out a sigh. Sometimes, when he’s about to drift off to sleep, he’d think of Jung Eunji. Nothing specific about her, not necessarily. Just about her smile, her laughter and all her eccentric ways. They make his mind clearer, calmer, devoid of all the worrisome thoughts on the troubles going on his life. He’d hate to admit this but he had, indeed, come to acknowledge that Eunji was his healing pill, the happy vitamin, and simply one of the most important people in his life.

*

Sung Gyu invited Eunji to Sung Jae’s birthday celebration the next day, and immediately regretted that he did. For one, she seemed to have already forgotten that the occasion was to fall in less than a day, merely because she didn’t necessarily keep track on dates ‘unless it was for her periods’; second off, the moment he did invite her, she simply became exhilarated and began planning a full-fledged, extravagant birthday party. She wanted it to be themed after a drama she watched, and decided ‘cheese’ would make quite a theme though the drama itself, despite its title, did not under any circumstances relate to the dairy product. Third off, she wanted her pay a little early so she can buy a new dress.

“Does it make sense huh? does it make sense now even?” Sung Gyu paced the kitchen as if she’d just made the most outrageous claim ever.

“Well, you were not planning to have a boring dinner, were you?” Eunji returned. “Hey Sung Jae needs a party, he deserves it! Let him have his ways, ah!”

Sung Gyu stopped pacing and stood right in front of her, his eyes widened in surprise. “Why…why do you sound so much like Woohyun?”

“I don’t sound anything like Woohyun!” Eunji returned, exasperated. “Is that even the point?”

“Well then what is the point?”

Eunji dumped the bowl she was whisking eggs in onto the counter and turned around to give Sung Gyu a look of pure annoyance. “The point is that you are boring and stingy and doesn’t want his son to have a birthday party”

Sung gyu felt like flipping the entire universe. He took a deep breath, not to make his anger even worse and spoke as mildly and calmly as he possibly could.

“Look. Miss Jung. We’re having dinner and a small celebration for Sung Jae’s birthday at my parents’ home on day after tomorrow which, not by any means, a party, and all I wanted was to invite you, and that’s that”

“Well okay” Eunji shrugged non-committedly, walked over to the stove, poured in the beaten eggs into a frying pan and watched it as it sizzled away.

And Sung Gyu thought her crazy planning ended from that moment while she made breakfast, what he failed to understand, however, having an abundance of time being a baby sitter for a nine-year-old who hardly caused any trouble anymore, she had plenty of thinking to do. Sung Gyu hadn’t even much time to look into whatever the preposterous things Eunji could be doing in her free time; nonetheless, he regretted not caring enough when he saw her on the day of the birthday celebration, climbing out of Woohyun’s car, dressed like she’s on a fancy dinner dance, carrying a cake twice the size of her head, the rear of the vehicle filled of helium balloons, and Woohyun, his brother, her sister and the baby accompanying her.

He should have known that Eunji was no ordinary woman. He should have known that she was Woohyun’s sister in law, and that both had a tendency to carry outrageous plans up their sleeves.

Sung Jae was out on the porch, welcoming the visitors when he took note of a pair of pale feet, a dress and a massive cake structure covering the face of the woman carrying it, with a heavy load of helium balloons behind her.

“Appa!” He struck his head through the parting of the door as Sung Gyu busied himself complaining. “Did you bring party planners?”

“Party planners?” He repeated, walked over to the door, struck his head out, retreated, and closed the door. “These people were not invited”

A few minutes later, Sung Jae called again. “Appa! It’s baby sitter!”

*

Other than Sung Gyu’s mother’s home cooked dinner and a cake, there were uninvited guests, an extra cake which was too big for anyone to feat on, helium balloons, loud music and dancing people at Sung Jae’s birthday celebration. And the worst bit was that it was only Sung Gyu who wasn’t enjoying it. Even Sung Jae whom he thought would get bored of all the grown up company was having fun, dancing around with Eunji, cake frosting from their previous ‘Face-caking’ still not wiped off his face. Sung Gyu tried to retreat into his old bedroom and perhaps, nap, while the party lasted, but Woohyun was latching onto him like a parasite, eating off all his energy with his endless blabbering and toneless singing. Even his mother and father were dancing to pop music which didn’t even suit them. It was pandemonium. Hell set loose. And it was all Eunji’s fault.

Sung Gyu’s mother wasn’t even upset about having to cook more to feed the extra mouths. She kept on saying that it was the most fun she had since her school reunion (Which Sung Gyu knew to be a disaster) and both Eunji and Eunmi helped her out around the kitchen, his mother sharing all the embarrassing stories from his childhood. He felt like he was stripped and put out in a display cabinet. It wasn’t helping that Woohyun and Boohyun were forcing him to sit in the kitchen stool enjoying all the childhood stories as if they had nothing better to do.

“And he threw all my make-up, just because I didn’t let him keep the poop pants!” Exclaimed his mother in exaggeration. “I found them in the litter bin. He even went to the extent of snapping all the lipstick and brushes in half!”

A wave of flamboyant laughter ensued, and Sung Gyu thought of all the ways to melt into a puddle and disappear. “mum, they were hip-hop pants, not poop pants” His pleas, however, were ignored.

The conversations rolled on for a few minutes, reminiscent of the old days, all good and the bad memories. Even Sung Gyu’s father joined in later on, sharing his own share of stories about his son. Though Sung gyu was annoyed at most parts, especially when Woohyun, Eunji or Boohyun commented on the embarrassing bits, Sung Gyu actually enjoyed the celebration. It was as if old friends have gotten together for a reunion, reminiscing their good times (though he was the focus of the discussion) and deemed that Eunji’s idea of a party wasn’t as bad as he thought after all.

Dinner was served soon after, where the conversations continued, this time, luckily, not on Sung gyu and his childhood but on the mundane things like work and kids. Sung Jae told everyone funny stories from his school, Woohyun shared those from work. Eunji was silent the whole time, quietly listening to everyone and looking around with a scrutinizing gaze. Once dinner was done, Eunji announced that Sung Jae should open the presents.

Oblivious to the rest of them, a dark figure, looming in the shadows of the streets, watched from the otherside of the long French windows as the boy’s face glowed in delight. It was a sight that she has yearned to see for so long; since the day she was born, perhaps. Since the day she first held him in her arms and accepted that he was hers. It pained to see how much he resembled his father when she finally found the opportunity to relish that sight of him. How his eyes crinkled and formed crescent moons, how his set of bunny teeth stood out when he smiled, how his soft fair fell so loosely on his forehead, and how his ears turned pink. It pained her so much, because it was still a sight she longed to see, and it wasn’t solely from her son. She let out a heavy sigh and moved further away from the house, realizing that she has never been a part of his little world. Yoora was never welcomed into the house, and she always received scrutinizing glances from Sung Gyu’s mother time to time even if the time she spent there was minimal. His father hardly showed any readable emotions towards her and his sister never failed to deliver her an unwelcoming scowl. Sung Gyu was the sweetest, nevertheless, showering her with love at all times that it was hard to believe he was even a part of this family. It was the most prominent reason why she was afraid to approach them when the unexpected happened. Yoora was terrified. She wanted escape. And she knew it, truthfully, that the ambitious Kim Sung gyu whom she knew and loved would be difficult to convince to run away with her, together.

And Yoora never made a good mother. It was hard to be one, having been born and raised under parents to whom she was only a byproduct of their constantly failing marriage. It was no secret to her, that she was born in order to save their marriage and in turn save the shame and public scrutiny which followed after a failed marriage. She was the bridge between her parents, the string which held them together. Thus, through their endless fights and arguments, they couldn’t provide enough love and affection to the one who was born as a sacrifice to their well-being. Yoora hadn’t learned love. The only person who showed her what it was like to be loved and cared for was him. She was afraid. She didn’t want to be another one of her mother; a monster who always saw the child whom she gave birth to as a burden. Unbeknownst to her, however, she was slowly becoming one. The kind of a mother whom she knew. Yoora thought giving birth was the easy path than suffering after an abortion. She was religious. Also she didn’t want to destroy what was left of her love for him. Yet, since the moment little Sung Jae was born, her life took a different turn. Her nights became as long as her days were, and her entire life began to revolve around cleaning and feeding and rearing the child. Her mother hardly helped her through difficulties in life, deeming Sung Jae as the next biggest mistake she made after deciding to date Sung Gyu. She was gradually losing herself until she actually became as brutal as her mother herself. She neglected him, fed him less, cared for him less and looked for other routes of solace and escape. She was afraid that her negligence would kill him, destroy him; she was reluctant to let go off the only remainder of the man she loved and let go of. The only way she could keep him living was, yet again, escape. And this time, she thought, she was running away with him.

And that’s how Sung Jae ended up in his father’s hands. Yoora didn’t know what happened thereafter. She was afraid to see how good he did without her. She abandoned her old life, shifted directions and ran away as far as she could to a place where he could never find her. Years passed. One, then another. Yoora realized, thus, that she was never over him, and the child, now in his arms, connected them to one another. Sung Jae was the bridge, the string which kept them together, just like she was for her parents. Circumstances were different, nonetheless. In this case, they truly loved.

Yoora walked across the lawn where she last saw Sung Gyu on the very same greenery, a three-year-old Sung Jae in his arms, genuinely gratified. She could still recall that moment so vividly in her mind. How happy he was, how his eyes seemed to reflect million galaxies and how his smile seemed to brighten up the whole world. It wasn’t any better that Sung Jae had grown up to become the exact resemblance of his father. A bit on the chubby side, he still had the thin almond eyes, the rosy plump lips and puffy cheeks that she loved. His hair was straight at birth which was slowly leaning onto being slightly wavy. From the darkness of the empty street, Yoora had watched him as Sung Jae struggled to walk across the lawn towards his father, then failed, only to climb up and start running again. Sung Gyu’s proud smile implied the words he didn’t say. It was a relief, for her, to know that little Sung jae was brave like his father, and not cowardly like his mother was.

She hated herself, still, to be lurking in the dark this way. She could walk into the house any moment. She was a lot braver than before. She could barge into the house without so much as knocking and claim that the boy was hers. But no, something was stopping her. Something about the cold, distant look in Sung Gyu’s eyes every time he set his eyes on her, something about how he got possessive and protective of him, something about how he became vary and doubtful of her as if she had come to steal something so precious from him. These were the kind of emotions which were new to her to be coming from him. She had never witnessed anything like it, and it scared her, set her back, yet pulled her towards him just the same. It was a strange feeling which she couldn’t pinpoint as what.

The front door to the garden pushed open sometime later, as soon as Yoora decided it was her cue to leave. She turned back into the lawn from her spot in the shadows of the street. Sung Jae, tall, young and beautiful emerged from the doorway, a sizeable piece of boyish toy clutched under his arms. Following after him was her, the woman who called herself his baby sitter. The biggest barrier who now, stood on her way. Yoora took a step backward, willing herself to make a clean escape. It was evident Sung Jae had had a wonderful birthday and she didn’t want to be the one to ruin it, just like she had, six years ago (Only to run all the way home and cry into her trembling hands for hours until she had no tears left. But something held her back. Something.

It was her will to win back what was rightfully hers.

*

“What on earth is that?” Eunji asked as she sat on the floor beside Sung jae who excitedly pulled off the covers of the last item in his presents list, which was the one from his father. Eunji gave him a large jar of hazel nut spread, which she thought came to him as extremely important while Eunmi and Boohyun together bought him some school items which Sung Jae accepted with false excitement. From Woohyun he got a set of puzzles with hundred pieces, which Eunji was certain will be forgotten and be stashed in the bottom of his closet. His grandmother gave him a knitted scarf, and his grandfather gave him a pair of trainers which were a little too big. The gift which get him the most exhilarated was the last item which remained untouched to be opened last, which turned out to be a-

“A drone!” Sung Jae exclaimed and pulled out the four winged gadget which looked like something between a helicopter and a gigantic conjoined pair of mosquitoes. She’s heard of those, seen those on TV, yet never had she seen one for real.

It looked bloody expensive. What kind of a father would even buy his son anything like that?

And it wasn’t any better that it came with a camera and a console which enables you to attach a device which could show and record what could be caught through the camera. A genius invention. But what use did a nine-year-old have with it? Plan an air raid?

“Woah! Isn’t that the latest model?” Woohyun exclaimed as he slid off the sofa and joined the other two on the floor. He excitedly went through the content as if he was a child himself while Sung Gyu sat in the sofa, cross-legged, looking smug and sipping on champagne. “Yup” He responded with the same smug look on his face. “It cost quite a lot actually”

“Tsk!” Eunji rolled her eyes and tugged at the items in the box uninterestedly. “Why would you even get him something like that? He’s not the police?”

Sung Jae feigned ignorance to the baby-sitter’s claims, so did Woohyun as they curiously experimented the features the machine was facilitated with. Sung Gyu put away the flute of champagne he held and raised his brows at Eunji. “You’re just jealous nobody bought you anything that nice” he said.

“As if” Eunji folded her hands on her chest. “Besides I don’t want a flying camera or whatever”

“It’s called a drone” Sung Jae finally perked up and corrected her. When she looked down, Eunji was greeted by Sung Jae proudly holding up the machine and its console under his arms as if it was the holy grail. He turned to his father. “Appa can I play outside?”

“Sure” Sung gyu said with a proud smile. Then he threw a rather imperceptive look at the baby sitter. “Miss Jung should join him. I bet she has never seen this thing fly”

“You’re horrible” Eunji huffed and followed after him nonetheless when Sung Jae proceeded to walk out of the house with his new toy in his hands.

Upon exiting the house and into the dimly lit lawn, the two were greeted by the soft spring breeze which carried a comfortable coldness within. Eunji breathed in the sweet scent of damp earth and greenery, closed her eyes and recalled a moment which was engrained in her mind from so many years ago, the first time she came to this house; Sung Jae, still three, and a young, beautiful, heart-broken Kim Sung Gyu secluding themselves from the hustle and bustle of the party inside, basking in the cold spring night. Her eyes snapped open when something whirred by her face. She almost lost her balance and would have fallen on her face if not for the pillar on the porch which she tightly grasped onto.

Sung Jae was giggling despite his not-so-successful attempt of murdering her.

“Yah, you” Eunji climbed down the porch, but then softened, just because she always did whenever Sung Jae was concerned. “Do you know how to fly this thing?”

“It’s a drone” Sung Jae dead panned and fixed the console onto the recording device. As he distracted himself, he spoke to Eunji in a flat tone. “I played with my friend’s drone when he brought it to school one day. But the homeroom teacher confiscated it, so we couldn’t play again”

“Confiscated?” Eunji repeated, surprised at his use of words. “How do you know such big words?”

Sung Jae abandoned what he was doing and turned to Eunji with narrowed eyes. “Because I’m smart”

He then walked to the middle of the garden and placed the drone among the shorter patch of grass. He the console yet again, and with a few clicks, the toy came to life. The camera was soon , the tablet attached to the console lightened up, then Sung Jae, slowly and carefully pushed and pulled at the little nubs and leavers on the console, taking the complete control of the machine into his hands.

Despite being big-headed, Sung Jae was indeed a smart little man. The machine lost its control a few times and went out of hand, whirring around listlessly across the lawn. Sung Jae was muttering under his breath as he attempted to take its control yet again, and soon enough, it was flying effortlessly up above the grass, higher and higher with its splendorous led lights casting star-like wonders up above them, all until it was as high as the wall and the now-open roller gates. Eunji had her hands clasped by her chest, squealing whenever it raised higher or did something extraordinary. She was surprised at just how skilled the boy was, despite his age.

“Woah! This is brilliant!” Eunji said as she hopped around behind him. Sung Jae had his tongue sticking out in concentration, eyes narrowed, looking simultaneously back and forth at the drone and then the tablet which projected what the camera could see.

“Baby-sitter, look at this!” Sung Jae called, beckoning her closer to have a look at the tablet. Eunji followed, and was astonished even further at how clear the images were, even in the night. She saw the top of her head, and pouted that her hair was all messy. “My hair looks bad”

“It always looks bad” Sung Jae said distractedly. Eunji would have smacked on his arm but she couldn’t bring herself to, worried if he would lose the balance on the drone.

“Look! Baby-sitter, there’s a cat!”

Sure enough, a large orange tabby was sprawled across the top of Sung Gyu’s car, napping soundly as if he actually owned it. Sung Jae purposefully lowered the drone towards it, at which point the cat snapped and tried to attack it.

“Whoa, whoa! Target is attacking! Retreat! Retreat!”

They played around for a while, driving the drone into different directions and Eunji yelling orders at Sung Jae as if they were playing one of their games from back home. Sung Jae was her little play-mate, doing everything to please her and earn hearty cheers whenever he’d succeed. They successfully drove it out the gate, then back inside, scared off three stray cats in total, followed an old man on a bicycle who almost got a cardiac arrest and even held it hovering around the large French windows, looking into the living room where all the grown-ups were chatting and laughing around while sipping champagne. Eunji felt like an overgrown child who never fit in with the older crowd. She didn’t want to talk about things and drink champagne. She would rather be outside, playing to her heart’s content. But looking at how grown-up the grown-up people were acting, who were only about three-four years older than her, she couldn’t help but feel a little upset.

“Hey, Sung jae” She called as the drone retreated from the French window. “Let’s see if there’s anyone out the gate again”

“Hm, okay” Sung Jae pushed a few buttons, and the drone soon flew out the open gate into the street. T was semi dark with the streetlight flickering above lousily. Not a soul was in sight except for the looming dark shadows of the walls and the trees donning the either sides of the street. The two drove the machine on and on as if they were doing some sort of a creepy night expedition. All of a sudden then, something moved right by the edge of their wall. A tree rustled, garnering their attention, and a small dark figure emerged from the dark. A person.

“Whoa who is that!” Sung Jae yelled, and the console in hand, he raced towards the gate, Eunji following right behind him.

“Jae, slow down!” She hissed, but to no avail, Sung Jae was already out the gate. He just stood there, quiet and preoccupied, his eyes staring at the dark figure who had now come into the light, the drone still whirring above their head. Eunji stood right behind the child, her hands holding onto his shoulders protectively. She took in the sight of the stranger. A cap, a grey hoodie, long dark hair, petite in size, white fitting jeans and black boots. A woman. Her hair and the shadow casted by the cap kept her facial features in the dark, and her hands kept clenching and unclenching on her either sides. Eunji’s eyes however, were focused on the woman’s feet. White jeans, black boots. A sight all too familiar to her. Suddenly a recent memory flashed through her mind. The same black boots, a woman with her face hidden in the shadows under an umbrella, standing by the entrance of the school and not necessarily waiting for a child by the looks of it. It took a while until all the subtle hints fell right into place, forming the bigger picture, and everything became so obvious that point onwards. She pulled Sung Jae even closer to her, possibly behind her back, but Sung jae refused to cooperate. She wanted to run and hide the child in a place where she couldn’t get to him again, but it was too late. Sung Jae had already seen her for far too long. He could even recognize her without her usual long, bronze hair.

“Oh! Isn’t that Appa’s friend?” Sung jae whispered, yet it came out so much as a loud hiss.

Eunji nodded, and slowly pulled Sung jae with her as she walked backwards, trying not to topple on her feet.

The figure wasn’t stopping wither. It was as if she was here to be done with what needs to be done. She stared up at Eunji sternly, her eyes not flickering ones. She emerged out of the dark then, standing right under the streetlight like an eerie ghost, her fine features shining vigorously in the flickering light.

“Y-Yoora…”

Yoora held out her hands, and shrugged with a smile. She’s finally gathered them right into her arms.

*

Sung gyu was just about to open the front door to go and see how Sung Jae and Eunji were doing right when the door wrenched open itself, Eunji urgently pushing Sung jae in with the drone under her arm, a look of alert in her eyes.

“Hey, what’s with you two?” Sung Gyu asked as the door shut close behind them. Eunji ed the drone into Sung jae’s arms, who stared up at her, confused, and followed without a word when She asked him to go play in his room.

“Eunji, what’s going on?” Sung Gyu repeated, urgency in his tone.

“It’s Yoora” Eunji muttered under her breath. “She’s come again. She’s here”

*

Part two will be up soon. Sorry for taking too long.