*

Sung Gyu wrenched open the front door as calmly as possible as to not to garner any unnecessary attention once he had made it sure that Sung Jae was safely locked up in his old bedroom under Eunji’s care. He hated it, how he always acted upon it, so impulsively as if Yoora was someone who had the intentions of hurting his child. He had not a clue what her true intents were, if not to only see the boy for once. And would anyone go into this extent just to achieve ten minutes of an interaction with a child they initially abandoned? Sung gyu knew how Yoora could get. He knew her all too well. She was the kind of a woman who got bored of things once she’d had them for long enough. She hopped from one thing to another, her heart was forever changing like seasons changing color. Sung gyu knew better to not to trust her instincts. What was her reason then? To bother him, to harass them in this way? What exactly did she want from him?

Sure enough, Yoora was there in the exact same spot he had thought he saw her six years ago on this same day in the very same garden. She didn’t look much different either. Her features were gentle, misleading as much as they’ve always been. Her long dark hair was cascaded on either of her shoulders as her eyes hid behind the mask of the dark shadow of the hoodie she wore. The moment she saw him approach, however, the hoodie was pulled off, revealing her true self and the grim determination in her eyes. She looked devilish, almost as if she had come to finally rip of all that he valued from his life.

He stood in the middle of the lawn, and she stood before him. A moment passed as the two stared at each other as if in a quiet cold battle. The wind blew, carrying her hair across her face, giving her an aura so elegant which reminded him so much of the girl he first loved. But times have changed, their impressions were different, and there was no way that he’d be anywhere close to being wavered by her exquisite beauty.

“What are you doing here?” Sung Gyu breezed out, his voice thick and hoarse in the quiet lawn.

“I’m only repeating the incident from six years ago” Yoora shrugged, and looked closely at him from under her bangs. “Is it working? Where is all the yelling and desperation?”

Something snapped inside him at that moment, and it occurred to him, immediately, with a pang; she was mocking him. Not only so effortlessly. She’s mocking him for all the miserable times he went through all those years ago, because of her, how much he earned for her, how much he suffered. She had known.

“You…you’re one sick and twisted woman, now aren’t you?” He muttered through his gritted teeth. “This is all but some emotional sob story of yours, isn’t it?”

The smile Yoora gave in return was venomous. “You’re so easy to play. That’s what. You’re weak, you waver like a dead leaf, all led by emotions…you live in some made up little world where everything is so nice and proper and everyone’s embraced in love-,”

“What do you want from me?” Sung Gyu interrupted her without heeding attention to her endless ramble.

“What I want?” She smiled sweetly as if it even meant anything. “It’s easy…”

“You’re not seeing my son” Sung Gyu said and defensively took a step towards her. “You’re not going to see him, talk to him, let alone go near him, Yoora, do you hear me?”

Yoora scoffed and looked away, rolling her eyes in contempt. “You’ve always been the one to talk big” She turned her icy glare back at him. “Cut me some slack now, will you? You don’t have to be so dramatic about this, Sung Gyu, we’re not in some sappy drama or whatever. This is real life, and in real life, a mother has every right to meet her biological son whether his guardian liked it or not.”

“I’m not his ing guardian, I’m his father!” Sung Gyu exclaimed in exasperation. “You abandoned him on the street, you remember? You left him for me! Now why would you even come asking for him? You put him away because you didn’t want him anymore!”

“I put him away because I couldn’t raise him anymore, Sung Gyu, not necessarily because I didn’t want him!” Yoora yelled back, and this once, for the first time, her voice was indecisive, she was slowly losing her strength, and her eyes had become glassy, a sight he has never witnessed on her. “It was so hard, okay?” She added weakly, her hands clenched tightly on either sides. “I was alone and I had no support from anyone... He was getting sick every other day and he wouldn’t stop crying…” her voice broke at some point, and her head hung low as if in defeat. “There was a time when I hadn’t even anything on me to feed him. I was sick and tired and my s were sagged and empty… All day I was hearing from everyone around me of how terrible of a person I was, as a woman, as a mother…do you know how miserable I felt? Can you even imagine?”

Sung Gyu softened at that, almost naturally, and the guilt, doubt and fear all surged back into him the same way it did every time he caught the sight of the two photographs of new-born Sung jae. It wasn’t like he couldn’t understand her. He knew, though he could hardly imagine how difficult life must have been to her. Yoora had halted college without notice, escaped to a place where he couldn’t find her. Sung Gyu had looked for her high and low, did everything he could, suffered every bit as much as she had herself until he finally gave into it that she had walked away from him, from what they had for once and for all, and it broke him. What he hadn’t known, or failed to grasp at that time was that her sudden disappearance could have meant so much more. Could he have guessed then? Could he have assumed, even? All he had left of her were the memories they shared, and none of it provided even an inkling to what was truly going on. Thus, was it fair that he was all to be blamed?

“Yoora…” he stated slowly and looked straight into her eyes where he could only see hatred and resentment, all directed to him. He sighed. “Listen, I know I tell you this every day, and I know that it doesn’t make any difference now; but had you ever come to me that time and told me the truth, I would have taken responsibility, I would have never let you suffer like that. I would have married you, become his father, and we’d have been a lot happier than we’re now…”

Yoora made a small, sad smile in response, which Sung Gyu almost knew what it meant. “Wouldn’t you have thought differently? Or is that really what you think your twenty-four-year old self would have done?”

Sung Gyu was rendered speechless, since he couldn’t figure out the answer himself. He was at a loss. Would that have been the same thing his young self would have told her? Would he have seen things in the same perspectives? He couldn’t recall, himself, how things were like for him back in the days, as if it was a long gone past which had already buried itself under the sand.

But Yoora seemed to know better than he himself did. “Remember how ambitious you were? You always had these huge plans in your mind. Graduate, join the police academy, go big, be a hero, all of this came before building a family. Hell, even I wasn’t in your priority list!”

“Y-Yoora…”

“You would have rejected me, Sung Gyu” She stated the obvious, the truth Sung Gyu had tried to convince himself to not be the truth this whole time, building an image of himself as some kindred, gentle saint, which he truly never was. “You would have acted as if we never even happened. And you know what’s worse I think you would have done, Sung Gyu?”

Sung Gyu genuinely appalled, and this gave Yoora the necessary satisfaction that she had finally gotten to him, sinking her vicious fangs into where he hurt the most. “You would have asked me to destroy it. That’s what you would have done. In order to save your skin and make everything fall back into place so that you can build your life empire as you have always wished, you would have killed your own child…”

“Shut up!” Sung Gyu exclaimed, not being able to hear any more of it. His heart pounded so hard in his throat, and the entire world was spinning around him. It was something which he had refused to think of for such a long time. What the truest reaction would have been, what would come out of the man he had once been, and now that he was hearing it all from the one person he absolutely detested and feared to hear it from, he felt an irrevocable hatred towards himself. The truth came to him as an inevitable blow, hitting him on and on to his sorest spots until it all went numb and he couldn’t feel himself anymore. This was the person he had once been. And true enough, that would be what the young Kim Sung Gyu would have done.

“Perhaps I was only trying to protect him from you, don’t you think?” Yoora continued cruelly, seeing how wounded Sung Gyu seemed that very moment. “That’s why I ran away from you the first place. I might not have given him enough love, but you…you wouldn’t have given him any love at all...”

“Shut up! Just shut up!” Sung Gyu pressed his fists against his temples, his paled knuckles trembling against his veins.

“And now you’re trying to protect him from me? From the very person who protected him from you? Please, Sung Gyu-,”

“I said shut up!” Sung Gyu growled, and soon before he could stop himself, his hands have caught both her arms in his tight grasp and he was shaking her as if he was trying to get something right out of her. When he looked into her eyes, stern, angry and cold, all he could see was how strong and determined she was. Yoora was always the brave one of the two, though she was convinced otherwise. Only now did it show, as if it had finally occurred to her how bold she could be, and it terrified him, of all the things she could do now.

“Let me go” She said, but Sung Gyu’s grasp didn’t loosen one bit, him taken completely by his sudden wrath. And for someone who didn’t lose his temper so easily, when it actually did, it took the best of him. “You…” He mumbled, and shook her as if he was trying to prove a point. “Don’t ever dare come near me, don’t you dare, do you hear me?”

Yoora scoffed, and in a swift movement she pried off his iron clutches. “And have I ever listened to you?” her fake smile of disdain changed in a matter of seconds into a look of vicious hatred, all directed to him. “Never”

Yoora left him after that, steady on her feet, not dithered even the slightest by his rage towards her. The one who was actually taken aback by the incident was him, having taken a blow in its fullest strength and spinning onto the ground of defeat even if he fought endlessly against it for so long. He breathed hard, attempting calm his nerves as he watched her disappear into the darkness the same way she did so many years ago. But only, just this once, she left him with a clue, and it destroyed him.

Exhausted, he backed away onto the porch and sat down on the ledge with his head in his hands. He took deep breaths, one after the other, the first ragged than the second, his hands trembling as the adrenaline rush still coursed through him. Never had he been so shaken in his life before. Never had he been so weak. And he despised what had finally become of himself.

Behind him, without him even knowing, the front door opened and a concerned Woohyun stepped out. He had taken note of the sudden shift of ambience between Eunji and him. The panic-stricken look in her eyes and the urgency in her voice as she spoke. She might have tried to not give anything away, but knowing her, Woohyun could see that she was failing miserably. And that’s why he cracked open the French window of the living room, trying to catch even a glimpse of his friend who had stepped out and was gone for too long. What had caught his eyes, however, was a sight he hadn’t expected to see in million years.

“Hyung?” he called out and carefully walked across the porch towards his best friend. Sung gyu could hardly heed attention to him as he desperately attempted to take his nerves under control. Sung gyu who hardly ever lost his temper was seated on the front porch, all by his own, swept off by a seething rage.

And Woohyun had seen the cause of the debacle sprinting across the lawn for her dear life.

“It was Yoora wasn’t it?” Woohyun stated coldly, which finally garnered Sung Gyu’s attention. He slowly turned around, only to see him Woohyun looking down at him, not entirely concerned, but fire in his eyes.

“Woo-Woohyun-ah”

“Yoora is back and you never even told me Hyung?”

Sung Gyu looked up into Woohyun’s eyes, and instantly knew that he had already lost.

*

Sung Jae placed his warm hands against the cold glass, hard, the skin on his palms prickling against the chill. From the window of his father’s bedroom, he could see everything, almost the same view he got from the drone’s camera, maybe even more so, as the porch light and the moon illuminated everything. He traced the two dark silhouettes in the garden. One, he could tell from even miles away, tall, lean and exhausted, was his father. He wasn’t so sure about the other. It was the same lady he had seen talking to his father so many times before. She used to have different hair, yet nothing much seemed to have changed. Sung Jae knew her all too well, her features, that is, as if she was a close, familiar person to him. He watched them with caution, as all that he had noticed in hers and his father’s interaction were loud, open mouthed yelling, distinct hand gestures and widened eyes, with their veins almost popping out of their faces; fighting. They were fighting again, he could tell. The wide open mouth and hand movements spoke so much though he heard nothing. And the way his father looked, so cruel, unsettled him. He watched them, nonetheless, wondering what relation she had to him to be fighting with him every time they meet. He followed all their movements inquisitively, all until a warm hand landed on his shoulder, soon pulling him into a warm embrace. He breathed in that scent. She always smelled like fruits though she didn’t even eat any. But he liked it. It was almost like of a mother.

“Hey, I couldn’t even wish you properly” Eunji said mildly as she his hair with her hands. “Happy birthday, Kid. It’s hard to believe you’ve grown up so fast!”

Sung Jae wriggled out of her arms, and the sight of his father and the lady slowly dissolved in his mind. “Children grow everyday” he deadpanned.

“Well your head sure does, even if the other parts didn’t” Eunji rolled her eyes and perched down on the bed beside him. “So what do you want to do? Want to play?”

“No” Sung Jae shook his head lazily. “I think I want a sandwich” He stated gravely, which made her laugh.

“Chocolate hazel-nut?”

“Yup”

“bananas?”

Sung Jae grimaced. “I’m not a monkey”

Eunji laughed again, stood up and held a hand out towards him. “Come on then, kid who’s not a monkey”

Sung Jae rolled his eyes and led the way before her. They took the stairs together, nonetheless, and Soon Eunji walked ahead of him, not noticing that he was slowing down behind her as she distractedly chatted to herself about one thing or the other. Sung Jae wasn’t quite sure of what she said. In fact, he wasn’t even listening to her. Her voice drifted away along with her as she disappeared into the kitchen, but Sung Jae stayed behind. He was hearing loud, angry voices from the living room, and they were definitely not the cheerful champagne-induced banter from earlier on. They were angry, enraged hisses, and they terrified him. He caught a few words nonetheless. He was straining to, though he felt it was wrong, though he knew he should just ignore, not be nosy about grown up business and go on his way. But the mention f his name was stopping him.

“Sung Jae deserves to know, Sung Gyu, he’s old enough to understand it” The deep, calm voice of his grandfather. He didn’t exactly understand what he was talking about, but Sung Jae wanted to know more.

“He’s still too young, dad, he’s only nine” said his father’s tired voice.

“But do you think you can hide it forever?” His grandmother now. “She’s his mother, Sung Gyu, she’d try everything to reach him, as much as I hate it, that’s the truth”

At the mention of the word mother, Sung Jae froze. His skin went cold, his heart bit raised, and he wanted to hear more, know more, all the things his father never disclosed to him about his mother. The truth was that Sung Jae never had the interest to. He knew that she wasn’t a good person, that she didn’t want him so she left him. But that’s all he ever knew about her. Never had he seen a single photograph of her, never had he heard her name. His father refused to say anything else about her, and Sung Jae didn’t pry, even if he’d been curious all his life as to know just about anything about her. The truth was that he really wanted to know so many things about her. How she looked like, how her voice sounded like, if she liked to play like the baby-sitter did, if she cooked well, if she also smelled like fruits, and if she really was a mean person that Sung Jae had thought her to be. But he never asked his father about these things, simply because he didn’t want to upset him. His father had always told him that the two of them was family, and that they needed nobody else. Sung Jae really didn’t want to make him upset.

But upon hearing even the mention of his mother, from his grandmother no less, who, just like his father, never told him anything about her, Sung Jae wanted to know more.

“Well I won’t let her near him” Responded his father. “She left him, so she doesn’t deserve it”

A buzz of voices went around and Sung Jae couldn’t make out anything, all until Uncle Woohyun suddenly exclaimed; “If today wasn’t even the first time, she’s surely going to come again Hyung! Do you not understand? She’s going to come again like she did today, you can’t keep this up forever!”

All that Sung Jae caught up with in what he said was ‘today’. Were they still talking about his mother? Was it her who came today? Sung Jae felt like pushing open the door so everyone would tell him the truth. But he knew how mad his father can get when he interrupted grown-ups’ conversations. He listened a little more, trying to catch what they were saying.

And they kept talking about today. Today she came, today on his birthday she came. She wanted to see him. She has to see him. Sung Jae should know. Today. Mother. Today.

And it all came to him almost at once. Sung Jae was smart. He was older. And he can put two and two together. He can make sense out of things. And as how he had deemed it, it didn’t sound so nice in his ears.

The lady his father was always fighting with, was his mother.

“Sung Jae?” Came Baby-sitter’s voice behind him, startling him. He turned around, feeling dejected like he just heard the worst possible news ever, though he didn’t even know anything for certain. The baby-sitter was standing behind him, her face filled with worry, and soon she came over to him and took his hand. “What’s up? I thought you were in the kitchen while I was making sandwich. I was even telling you things and only realized you weren’t there when you didn’t say anything…”

Sung jae was led into the kitchen where he climbed onto a tall kitchen stool on the island, and Eunji came from behind him and placed a neatly made sandwich along with a carton of strawberry milk. Then she sat beside him with a piece of cake, the frosting off the fork. Sung Jae didn’t eat. He couldn’t. All he could think about were the things he heard from the living room and the lady whom he flew the drone into, and how she seemed to be arguing with her father in the lawn, how she was arguing with him every day. He’d seen them, during the art exhibition, when they went camping from school and that one time when she came to their house. Sung Jae wasn’t really interested in her at that time, because his father really had so many lady friends. Never had he even imagined a lady like her to be his mother.

“Jae, you okay?” Baby sitter asked, putting down the plate of cake along with the fork. “You don’t look too happy. Are you tired?”

Sung Jae stared down at his sandwich for a while, then decided against it. He didn’t want to be a mean boy who eavesdrop into adult conversations. He soon shook his head and began to bite into the sandwich. The two of them ate in silence with baby-sitter occasionally striking up a conversation, either about the cake she brought which didn’t even fit in their refrigerator, or something else, which he didn’t pay much attention to. After finishing one half of the sandwich, he devoured on the carton of strawberry milk, waiting for the kitchen door open and his father to walk in. Soon enough then, as if he had a power of telepathy to know what Sung Jae was thinking, his father pushed open the door and walked in, his face impassive and eyes gloomy and tired. He almost didn’t see them until baby-sitter cleared . He looked up, saw Sung Jae and the baby sitter and looked startled for a moment before he gave him a smile.

“Hey! You’re having a sandwich?” He said, referring to the food resting on the island, walked to the fridge and picked up a carton of strawberry milk himself before walking over to the table. “Did you have any cake, Jae?” Asked his father, but Sung Jae wasn’t thinking of anything else. He stared at him for a moment, looked at his tired eyes and his smile. Then put down the carton of milk on the island.

“Appa” he called, urgency in his tone.

“Hm?”

“The lady who came today, is she really my mother?”

Sung Gyu almost dropped the carton he held in his hand. He immediately placed it down on the table, and managed to compose himself, worried if he was making things so obvious. But he was certain he was being careful enough. He was certain Eunji was keeping a good eye on him. On the other hand, they were being so subtle that it couldn’t be that he had caught up with it. How on earth did he know?

“What?” Sung Gyu asked, and he sent a subtle glance at Eunji who looked just as startled as he was.

Sung Jae looked down at his hands as though in defeat. “I heard grandma talking about her, appa. Grandpa too, and you. Uncle Woohyun said she came today” he raised his head and looked into his eyes. “If my mum came today, where is she? If she wanted to see me, she should come”

Sung Gyu took a moment to analyze things, and upon realization he threw an irritated glance at the baby sitter. She must have let him off her radar for just one second. Just one second and she had successfully messed up everything yet again. And was she to be blamed for all of this? No she wasn’t, because she was never even a part of it to begin with, and it wasn’t what he was paying her for.

“No Sung Jae” He finally said after composing himself. Sung gyu knew he had to hold back his anger even though he felt as if he was about to combust. If anything, he couldn’t possibly give anything away. “Your mum didn’t come, there was nothing like it”

“B-but…I heard…grandma…?”

Sung Gyu threw another warning look at Eunji’s direction. Sung jae had heard everything, everything that they were discussing in the living room a few minutes ago, and had Eunji not let him out of her sight, he wouldn’t have heard any of it, thus Sung Gyu couldn’t help but feel she should be blamed for everything.

Eunji, as if she realized it was her time to step in for rescue, after the damage was already done due to her carelessness, suddenly stepped in. “You know, Sung Jae…you must have understood everything wrong. I’m sure they were talking about something else”

“But I’m not stupid” Sung jae stated gravely, startling them. “And I saw appa fighting with that lady every day! Is she my mum?”

“Sung Jae…” Sung Gyu tried again, this time, his voice came a little rougher than earlier.

“No, Jae, she’s only a friend” Eunji pressed on.

“But Uncle Woohyun said-!”

“That’s why you shouldn’t listen to grown-ups’ conversations Sung jae!” Sung Gyu snapped all of a sudden before even he could stop himself. He was mad, he was slowly losing himself in his endless rage with all the troublesome thoughts running around in is mind, and Sung Jae finding out anything was the last thing he wanted on his plate right now. “Have I never told you that before? You should never do anything like that!”

Sung Jae had never seen his father so upset before. His eyes seemed so distant, cruel, he had never looked so scary in his life and it terrified him. Sung Jae went quiet. He didn’t ask anything anymore. In fact, he was retreating, slowly like a bunny who’d been scared off by a vicious beast. Sung Gyu’s breathing was ragged as he watched his son, now horrified, his eyes glistening with tears. But there wasn’t anything he could do about it now. The anger and frustration he had pent up towards Yoora, himself, and even Eunji, he vented it all out on his innocent child who was only curious, and who only needed to know the truth just like he deserved to. He vented it all out on him and there was nothing he could do to take it back.

Eunji had now pulled Sung Jae into her arms, who had curled up against her, his face buried in her neck, soft sobs escaping which only came out as muffled little cries. Sung Gyu ed his trembling fingers through his hair, and it took so much of effort to not to throw just about anything within his grasp onto the wall, just to let out his steaming anger. It took everything within him not to let it all out on Eunji.

Eunji stared up at Sung Gyu with an icy glare, something which he had never seen coming from her. She was always protective of Sung jae, always so vigilant, and it wasn’t truly her who messed up this time. It was him. She gathered the little boy in both her arms as if he was a child of her own. Sung Gyu felt the tug on his heartstrings at the sight of them. Sung Jae needed a mother, for comfort, to fall back on at times of trouble; Sung Gyu needed a woman to lean on when his days become worse, and the only person they had in their lives, as a mother, as a woman, was her.

*

Eunji laid Sung Jae in the Sung Gyu’s childhood bed, put him under the covers and sat on the bed beside him, watching him with inquisitive eyes. He hadn’t said anything, not a single breath of a word ever since Sung Gyu snapped at him. It was evident that Sung Gyu wasn’t the kind of a person who’d easily scold his child in that manner. She had seen him, known him, and through the years, despite his slight shortcomings, Sung Gyu was always a kind, mild-tempered person, and even if Eunji or Sung Jae messed up in worse possible ways, he’d take it calmly and considerately, and make sure the other party wasn’t hurt regardless of him, himself. Eunji wasn’t mad at him. She didn’t develop any kind of hatred towards him. In fact, she understood him, saw where he was coming from, and how things needed to be handled from this point on. Sung Gyu needed affection and understanding in the very same way that young Sung jae needed it. He might not seem like it, but Sung Gyu was soft, fragile, he easily breaks, and the only one he seeks a fixing from, was her.

“Baby sitter?” Sung Jae’s small, muffled voice called her, and Eunji looks down with her hand his dark locks with care.

“Yeah, Jae?”

“Do you think she’s my mum too?”

Eunji was at a loss. She never expected he would find out the truth this way. In fact, she never even imagined he’d find out at all, judging by the way Sung Gyu did all things possible to keep his secret intact. But Sung Jae was a smart child, really smart for his young age. He was no different from his father, effortlessly analyzing and depicting things upon closer and intrusive inspection, and it was quite as hard to believe that he could have easily put two and two together and figure out what it was. Nonetheless, Eunji didn’t think it was her part to disclose anything to the child, not even to supply anything to his assumptions. She was in dangerous waters and it was important that she carefully maneuvered herself through this.

“I don’t know, Sung Jae. All I know is that she’s your father’s friend…” she remained quiet for a moment and added; “What do you think?”

“She fights with appa. I saw” Sung Jae grimaced. “I don’t think my mum would be like that…” he trailed off then, his brows furrowed in deep thought. “But uncle Woohyun and grandma kept saying it was her…I don’t think Grandma would ever lie”

“Maybe she mistook it was her” Eunji responded, slowly threading her fingers through his dark hair. “You know, grandmas have bad sight, especially in the night and they always mistake people for somebody else…”

“Hm” Sung Jae tossed to a side and snuggled further into the quilt which strangely, still smelt so much like his father. He contemplated quietly for a while, and the room remained in complete silence with only the echo of voices and utensils seeping into the room. Sung Jae did seem sleepy, yet he didn’t look like he’d actually go to sleep any sooner.

He looked over at her rather thoughtfully, and his hand raised only to gently finger at her hair which had fallen down her shoulder and her arm. He tugged at it, softly, distractedly, his bright does eyes shining as if in wonderment. It must have been a great shock for him, even though all he had was a bleak assumption he had made himself. Sung Jae was still a baby in her eyes, regardless of his snarky remarks and she always felt this great obligation to protect him as her own. Perhaps it was the fondness she had grown towards him gradually over the months they’ve been together, perhaps it was the motherly instincts popping out for some reason, and also it could even be because of the odd affection and respect that Eunji had strangely grown towards his father. Whatever it was, she couldn’t but always feel that Sung Jae was hers to protect.

“Baby sitter…” Sung jae called again, this time, sounding a little drowsy. He continued to tug at her hair, nonetheless, as if it was something he did for distraction.

“Hm?” Eunji pushed the strands of hair which had fallen over his eyes and tugged them behind his ear.

“Do you think my mum is like you?”

Eunji halted, and something started to tug at her heart. “Me?” Eunji asked, sounding incredulous. She thought of Yoora, of everything about her which were everything that Eunji wasn’t. She was talented, beautiful, employed, well off and probably even a lot smarter than Eunji had ever been. She was the girl Sung Gyu fell in love with and had a child with. Yoora was everything that Eunji could never be.

Sung Jae retrieved his hand, and much to her surprise he snuggled comfortably against her waist as she half-lied beside him, and looked up at her with starry eyes.

“You’re okay…” Sung Jae stated mindlessly. “You can cook well, we play a lot together, you can even play video games alright. Appa can’t even win a round. Also you’re nice and warm. You smell like fruits though you don’t eat any”

Eunji chuckled and leaned towards him to poke on his nose. “Oh, so all the good reasons you like me?”

Sung Jae nodded with a smile. “Appa likes you too. He always tells good things about you to grandma. And he thinks you’re funny”

Eunji felt warm in her heart when he said that he actually liked her, which was hard to believe though he had told her himself that he did countless times, but when it came to her being funny, Eunji gave up on feeling warm at all. It was so like him to think someone was amiable and fit his taste just because they were funny.

“I’m sure he does” Eunji said cheerfully and his head even more. Sung Jae seemed to slowly drift off to sleep, but then she realized that he still hadn’t changed out of the tight clothes.

“Hey, Jae let’s put on some pajamas” She said softly, pushing away the quilt and bringing Sung Jae into her arms.

“No can’t” He grumbled and tossed away.

“Aw, come on Sung Jae! You’d get sick or something if you sleep like that”

Sung Jae pretended to not hear her, and for further elaboration of his deep slumber, he began to fake snore rather loudly, and he sounded like a wood-chopper.

“Sung Jae” Eunji called grimly. “Now if you don’t come with me, I’m going to take drastic measures. I shall attack you, Sung Jae”

The child giggled, and as if it suddenly occurred to him he started to snore again, this time even louder.

“Okay, that’s it” Eunji exclaimed, threw off the covers, launched on him and began to tickle the living hell out of him. On his stomach, under his arms, on his waist. Sung Jae could hardly hold back his giggles which formed into loud hysterics, his arms and legs flaying about in surrender. Eunji laughed and laughed, her fingers reaching every inch of him all until he gave up and slid off the bed onto the floor, panting, his face blushed red and eyes bright, and definitely content.

“It was a beautiful defeat now, wasn’t it oh-mighty soldier?” Eunji mused, making Sung Jae giggle even more. She stood up, took his hand and led him to Sung Gyu’s old closet where some of Sung Jae’s clothes were stashed for emergency use. She looked through the content, picked out a pair of flannel pajamas, and got down on her knees to help Sung jae out of his clothes. As she busied herself doing this, she felt Sung Jae watching her rather intently. “What is it, kid?” She asked.

Sung Jae looked down at his feet, looking embarrassed, and shyly dragged his bare foot on the carpet. “No nothing…”

“Come on, spill it” Eunji said as she buttoned up his Pajama shirt. Sung Jae shrugged almost nonchalantly, but the look in his deep set of eyes seemed to say otherwise.

“Well?”

He smiled. “I wish baby-sitter is my mum”

*

Sung Gyu stood in the dim light of his old bedroom, leaning against the doorframe, watching the scened unfold before him. He hadn’t seen anything so beautiful in a while, something so heartwarming, reassuring, and he was almost so sure of himself, of his instincts which kept implying he could trust Sung Jae with her more than anyone else in the entire world. Perhaps, even more than himself. He had never seen her snapping at him, losing her temper, feigning ignorance or just selfishly hiding anything from him, completely ignoring the fact that he’s family and he deserved to know. Sung Gyu couldn’t help feeling incredibly ashamed of himself. Eunji wasn’t even a parent. She wasn’t even married. She had nothing responsible for, and yet she played the role of a mother, a parent a lot better than he ever had. Even now as he watched her in the deafening silence of the room, she didn’t look any less of a mother despite being paid to do what she was doing. It was almost as if she was natural. Perhaps she certainly was. Nobody has ever had so much of motherly instincts over his child as much as Eunji had, and that put him in a pedestal.

Eunji partially laid in the bed with Sung Jae snuggled beside her, searching for the warmth and comfort he had never received in life, and her delightedly giving it. Her head kept falling listlessly in her sleep, yet she took no effort to move into a more comfortable position lest it would disturb the sleeping child. One of her arms held him close against her waist where Sung Jae had buried his face in, and her other hand was in her lap and held Sung jae’s hand lovingly, their fingers entangled together. It was beautiful. It was almost as if they were…family. With a pang, owing to the recent incidents, he realized that he probably didn’t even belong there.

With one long sip from the flute of champagne he held, he retrieved the hand which’s been buried in his pocket the whole time, took one look at the sleeping pair, let out a long sigh and proceeded to close the door. As he stepped outside, his feet making only a slightest padding sound on the carpet, an even louder sound of footsteps neared him. Sung Gyu looked up and pressed a finger on his lips with the same hand he held the champagne; a good amount of it spilled and stained the carpet.

Woohyun stopped on his tracks and gave Sung Gyu a look of confusion. “But Hyung” He exclaimed rather loudly. “She has to go home!”

“She’s asleep, Woohyun” Sung Gyu said in a mild tone. “And it seems she doesn’t want to disturb Sung Jae”

Woohyun took a step back, flummoxed. “What?”

“It’s okay, Woohyun. Let her stay the night. I’ll drop her home myself the first thing tomorrow”

Woohyun suddenly seemed like he couldn’t keep up with him any longer. His dark eyes were fiery, his jaws clenched, his hands fisted, as if he was giving his best to not box his friend across his face.

“What the hell are you doing, Hyung! Do you not understand that you’re ing breaching her employee rights! You can’t make her work listlessly, like this, all day and sum it all up to some-some…”

Sung Gyu wasn’t even thinking straight, let alone listening to whatever he was rambling. He was hurt, tired, and wanted everyone to leave him alone so he could quietly curl up somewhere and repent all the bad decision he had made in life.

“Woohyun, you do realize I didn’t invite her to work tonight” Sung Gyu answered tiredly, and walked down the corridor towards the stairs. “Now don’t make a havoc there and come along. You’re disturbing their sleep”

And Woohyun did come along. He followed him, his feet stomping angrily behind him with every step as if he was projecting his wrath on him. Sung Gyu couldn’t take it anymore, getting all sorts of ill treatment from almost everyone around him. Nobody seems to understand him. Nobody seems to consider his feeling and look at everything in his life from his perspectives and just ing thing. Sung gyu was in deep as he was now, there wasn’t any further he could sink, if that was possible, and all he needed was a break. But nobody seems to give two pence about him.

Woohyun stopped at the foot of the staircase as Sung Gyu tiredly made it to the kitchen. He refilled his glass, picked it up, then decided against it and spilled the entire content into the sink before walking out the kitchen once more. The entire house was quiet by then. The cheerful party ambiance so much as evaporated since the moment Eunji stomped out of the kitchen, carrying a horrified little boy in her arms. Sung gyu had smashed a couple of wine glasses soon after, wherein everyone gathered about which soon led to a row. Then Sung Gyu had yelled at just about every one of them. Boohyun and Eunmi soon felt unwelcomed and deemed it that they were pretty much interrupting a family affair. All the loud noises made their sleeping baby scream blue murder and they soon left on their own, leaving Woohyun and his parents behind as well as the two in his bedroom. His parents were duly disappointed in him, though they didn’t say a word. His mother went on to clean all the glass he had smashed in the kitchen, and when Sung gyu tried to help, one of the shards cut into Sung Gyu’s mother’s hand. It was then she lost it herself, due to the pain both in her hand and her heart. The last thing she said to him before she disappeared into her bedroom where his father had already vanished into was; “I can’t believe I raised a son like you” Woohyun and he didn’t share a word after that. Woohyun was out in the lawn, talking to someone over the phone about work, and Sung Gyu remained in the kitchen, tried to clean the glass himself but got his hand cut a few times, gave up and resorted to revive on champagne instead. Hours passed by until Woohyun came in and informed that he and Eunji better returned home, which soon brought them to this point, standing in the eerily quiet, dark hallway with the loud, cheery voices from before still echoing throughout, staring grimly at each other.

“What do you want, Woohyun?” Sung gyu asked in a weary voice. “Make me feel even more miserable? Make my life even worse than it already is?”

Woohyun wasn’t taking in his ill rambles at all. He took a few steps towards him, and despite the evident difference in their heights, Woohyun suddenly became a terrifying presence before him.

“No, there’s no point of doing all that. Whatever happened, happened because you ing deserved it”

Sung Gyu sighed and pinched at the bridge of his nose. “Fine. If that’s all you wanted to say, then-,”

“You’re a ing jerk, Hyung!” Woohyun exclaimed and angrily jabbed a finger on his shoulder, which almost sent Sung Gyu stumbling back. “I’m this much close to punching you across the face”

Sung Gyu scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Well hit me then. Come on. You’re the only one in this ing house who didn’t get back on me. If that satisfies you, I wouldn’t object”

Woohyun shook his head in complete disappointment. There was a strange, unreadable emotion in his eyes which kept glimmering vigorously, terrifyingly, like a bomb ticking away. Was it pity? Disappointment? Anger? Remorse? Sung Gyu and his tired mind couldn’t quite put his fingers on it. Neither did he want to. All he wanted was this horrible day to end. And it had only few hours left. Why couldn’t it just pass smoothly and simply leave him alone?

“You…” Woohyun muttered and took a step back, his face clouded with disgust, as if Sung Gyu could possibly harm him, as if he was the plague. “You’re really pitiful, Hyung. Not only because you keep making bad decisions all the time, but also because you’re selfish, single-minded and undeniably despicable at times. You don’t even know what you’re doing... You don’t trust anyone. Hell, you can’t even trust yourself! I really pity you, Hyung, I really do…”

Sung Gyu felt his lips tremble, knees almost giving up on him. Never had he ever imagined for Woohyun to turn his back on him; his closest friend, his most valued companion. He couldn’t bare losing him. But the words he just said pierced right through him, only because he had stripped the truth and shoved it right into his face. True, Sung Gyu was egoistic. True, he never really trusted anyone. True, he was simply and utterly pitiful as he were; but only, he never had had anyone pointing them out to him. And that hurt more than anything else has ever had.

“Thank you, but I was aware myself” Sung Gyu responded, not daring to show how vulnerable he felt right now. He wanted to cry, find comfort in someone, but only he had pretty much lost everyone he loved. “I know that I’m selfish, terrible and despicable. I’m aware of it all…”

Woohyun threw a chilling glare at his direction, his gaze piercing right through his core and took a sturdy step backwards. “Right…I’m glad you know…” He said, took another step backwards, then paused only to wheel around and look at him grimly yet again. “But don’t you dare drag her along into this”

Sung Gyu didn’t need long to understand whom he was referring to. He buried both his hands into his pockets and stepped away. “I won’t. I promise” He replied.

*

When a loud crash echoed in the quietness of the night, Eunji woke up with a startle. It took a moment to adjust her eyes in the darkness, her hands wandering about blindly in an attempt to identify her surroundings. On her right, she felt the small, warm child sound asleep, his shoulders raise and fall evenly with each breath. On left was nothing but air. One of her hands was numb, having been in the same position for way too long; her neck was stiff and she couldn’t feel her feet anymore. Once she registered where she was, however, Eunji climbed off the bed and stretched her limbs. She wasn’t sure for how long she had slept, but judging by the quietness of the house which was bustling with flamboyance hours ago, it was already pretty late.

It was strange, the quietness of the house which was hardly ever so quiet in the few times she had stayed there. It suddenly seemed bigger than ever before. The corridors had stretched; the rooms and halls had expanded twice their size. Her bare feet padded quietly down the carpet as she walked down the corridor, slightly terrified by the emptiness around her. It was as if she had come to a parallel universe where the Kims were quiet and proper beings, or perhaps even, non-existent. When she came to the landing of the stairs however, she could see the lights downstairs still on. The hall was empty, cold and quiet, yet the kitchen was illuminated by a bright light. There was a faint sound coming from the living room which had a somber dim light; someone was still awake. The grandfather’s clock at the landing read sometime past one AM.

Eunji tiptoed towards the living room and peaked in. She expected to see Sung Gyu’s parents, huddled in the dark, watching telly or whatever couples their age did. But whom she saw was Sung gyu, gloomy and disheveled, his hair messed up, his shirt crumpled and his eyes distant, expressionless, and a bottle of champagne in his hand. He was lying in the sofa, his free hand on his chest, his fingers tapping anxiously and the hand which held the bottle was languidly hanging down, his fingers stifling encircling the mouth of the bottle as they turned pink. There was another one on the floor, empty and rolling on its own, a sure sight that he had dropped it just a while ago, only to pick up another to addle on. She stared at the man for a moment too long; broken and vulnerable, so unlike himself, and finally cleared .

It startled him, so much so that he almost dropped the bottle he held. His eyes were wide, and he had sat up straight, his shirt crooked and collar sticking up from a side. Upon seeing her, however, his features softened into an apologetic smile. He rested the bottle on the carpet and rubbed his brows.

“Eunji, you’re up” he said and assessed her for a moment, his brows furrowed, lips pursed. Then he soon climbed up on his feet. “Oh, look, Eunji you were asleep and I didn’t want to disturb you, I’m sorry but the Nams already left”

She knew as much. The Nams were naturally loud and boisterous, and the silence after a visit from them was extraordinarily tranquil than anything. Something was wrong. She couldn’t help noticing it. And it wasn’t only about Sung jae almost finding out who his mother was. If that was the case, then there would be no reason why the Nams would leave without her no matter how late it was. In fact, if she was asleep, her sister would have gotten Woohyun to carry her into the car; not leaving her here stranded with her boss who wasn’t exactly in his right mind. Yet, she left everything to be figured out later. She simply shrugged in response. “No it’s fine. I was just putting Sung Jae to sleep…somehow I’ve fallen asleep as well”

Sung Gyu stared at Eunji, yet he seemed troubled, preoccupied. Something has definitely gone wrong. And though she couldn’t exactly pin point it, she could see it all in his eyes; that it somehow had something to do with her. “Right” he said, made it around the coffee table and picked up his keys from the top of the drawers. “I might as well drop you home then…”

Eunji scrutinized the exhaustion in his eyes, the slight sway in his walk and shook her head. Her boss has never been so agitated before; never had he gone off the line. Sung gyu wasn’t the type to get drunk on his own. In fact, he’d told her once that he never touched even a beer be drinking on his own until Sung jae turned five, and now even if he did drink, he would drink to the extent of getting drunk. Unless something horribly unsettling happened, Sung Gyu never lost his control. She pursed her lips and wondered what she should say. Was it fine for her to go ahead and address his odd behavior? One look at her boss, she discarded the idea.

“It’s fine, actually…” She said, and stalled as he turned towards her. “What was it?”

Eunji raised her head. “It’s fine, boss. I can stay the night and return home tomorrow myself”

“No” Sung Gyu shook his head vigorously and moved past her towards the door. “Woohyun wouldn’t like it. He was pretty stern about returning you home”

Woohyun. Did anything happen between him and Woohyun?

“Well I’ll talk to him” Eunji supplied. “He’d understand. He should”

Sung Gyu halted by the door, turned around and leaned his back against it, suddenly looking so tired, worn out and almost giving up. “Woohyun insisted I bring you home, I can’t possibly go against his words”

Something about the way he said Woohyun’s name, full of guilt and misery had taken her off guard. Woohyun was Sung Gyu’s best friend, and having been his sister-in-law for quite some time now, she knew that Woohyun wasn’t the kind to cause any trouble, especially where his friends were concerned. Besides, for Woohyun, Sung Gyu was precious. He had told so numerous times. Could it be possible that they got into some sort of a…fight?

Eunji took a step towards him. “Boss, what’s going on, what happened?”

“There’s nothing-!” Sung gyu snapped, and soon held himself back. He sighed and opened the door anyway, but then it was stuck. He seemed to have forgotten that someone has locked the front door. He began to shake the brass handle vigorously and bang hard at it as if doing that would actually open it. Eunji watched him feeling hopeless, and once she couldn’t take it anymore, she reached him in two strides and grabbed his arm. He turned to her, and then back to the door, leaning his forehead against it. Sung Gyu looked so fragile at that moment, as if he had lost himself completely in this labyrinth of crossroads in his life. There were creases around his eyes and veins on his forehead were viciously visible. Eunji couldn’t help but squeeze his arm warmly. She couldn’t possibly leave him behind when he was in this state, let alone have him driving her home. Something has happened. He needed someone to fall into, and the only choice of comfort he had right now was her.

She tugged at him and he slowly pulled away from the door and ran a hand down his face. “Sorry…I’m sorry…I’m not feeling…quite…”

“It’s okay” Eunji whispered and gave him a smile. “Come on, boss. Let’s sit you down first”

Sung Gyu followed her almost in a stance and sank back into the sofa before burying his face in both his hands. His fingers were trembling; his face was appalled. Sung gyu wasn’t exactly the strongest; he was the kind of a person who was liable to go spiraling into a breakdown no matter how big or small the situation was. Perhaps fatherhood has put him into this state. Perhaps it had made him mushy and vulnerable. Or perhaps he had always been this way.

Eunji took a moment to arrange her words in her mind; how she should approach the problem, what she should say, what she needed to do to salvage the situation if anything goes out of hand. She surveyed him for a moment too long, and finally cleared .

“You look terrible” She said, then picked up the bottle which lied on the floor and frowned. “And champagne doesn’t even make you drunk”

“T’s all we have” Sung gyu grunted lowly, speaking strictly to the carpet and the floor.

“D’you have more?” She asked him, raising her brows, and Sung Gyu finally lifted his head. “There should be…” He trailed off, and regarded Eunji for a split of a second. There was a strange look in his eyes; something between hope, desperation and a cry for help, as if he was searching in her eyes for something to grab hold on to, to stop himself from toppling over. “Eunji…” He started in a small voice. “Would you like some champagne?”

It was not an invitation but a silent request, indirectly asking for her to be his pillar for the night to lean on, and Eunji, without hesitation, simply gave in. He deserved it. He deserved some comfort even if it was from the most unlikely, unimportant person in his life. and she’d let him have her, use her, any day; because he’s pretty important to her.

Sung Gyu stood up and stealthily walked across the hall and into the kitchen, his bare feet padding lightly on the marble floor. She followed after him, staring at his hunched back and tousled dark hair; how his shirt crumpled and tucked out from odd places. He wasn’t so much of a wreck when she arrived that night. In fact, he looked beautiful. He wore a dark blue shirt tucked neatly, paired with dark blue slacks, and his raven hair was parted to a side, revealing his pale forehead along with the creases around his eyes. Eunji thought back to the night she first met him, and felt her heart constrict. She wanted that man back, though he was different from the man she met years later. Maybe he’d like him in any other form or way but this. Not a broken Sung Gyu. Not him on the edge. It scared her that she wouldn’t be able to give him the affection that he truly deserved to revive him, and that it would ruin him even further. Eunji wanted him strong. But it seemed he’d always been everything but that.

She watched him as he easily reached for a top cupboard in the pantries, one she could never reach without climbing onto the cabinet, and pulling out the last bottle of champagne left on the rack. He brought it down and stared at it for a moment; quietness remained between them; Eunji watched him warily, carefully, and she caught a ghost of a smile threatening on his lips. For some strange reason, she understood what that little smile was about.

“You had glitter in your hair that night” Sung Gyu muttered all of a sudden as if he’d been surreptitiously reading her mind. Eunji was recalling that moment, finding him lost in the swarming crowd in the kitchen and gleefully making her way through to him, handing him the bottle of champagne they brought, the first conversation they ever had. The memories have pretty much faded into long lost dreams, as if they never happened between them. That time when they met years later, things were not the same. The two of them were strangers meeting for the very first time.

But tonight…

“And you looked so lost in your own house” Eunji replied, a smile curving on her lips. She folded her hands on her chest and leaned against the counter as he proceeded to open the last bottle they had left.

“I was” Sung Gyu replied honestly. “There’s never been so many people…I didn’t know where to look or what to do”

Eunji produced two flutes of champagne from the washer and placed them on the counter. Sung Gyu poured in the champagne, and its golden content swirled around in the glass, bubbles forming against it.

“You must have been glad I turned up then” Eunji replied haughtily, yet she didn’t dare look at him as she picked up her glass. She moved away and sat in one of the kitchen stools. Sung Gyu remained by the sink, his flute in his hand, twirling it around that the drink danced in the glass and bubbles formed incessantly. His eyes were solely focused on it.

Then he smiled. It was so beautiful, like a ray of sunshine through the gloomy clouds. Eunji could swear her world stopped for a moment.

He looked up, he looked at her, he wasn’t smiling anymore, but his eyes crinkled on the edge, and that alone was enough to make her feel things. She realized, this was a right time, as they were mentally intimate enough, to reveal something she never disclosed to anyone.

Eunji took a sip of her champagne, and set the glass on the table. She turned away and started drawing patterns on the cabinet with the tip of her finger.

“To be honest” she stated, and a smile appeared on her lips at the fond memories which were still livid in her mind. “That night, I had a huge high-school girl crush on you”

A stretch of quietness followed, as if Sung gyu was letting everything sink in. Eunji felt so ashamed, so embarrassed to look him in the eyes right now. Nut then, it was only a crush. It was a long time ago. Hell, he probably couldn’t even remember much right now. What did she have to lose? It’s not like the crush remained the same since then. In fact, it pretty much dissipated by the end of that night, and she got so involved with Moon Soo, her boyfriend of that time, and she naturally forgot everything about it.

So, she swiveled around on the kitchen stool, and soon caught him staring at her, seeming a little disoriented. When she peered at him, he quickly turned away to sip on his drink. Then his ran his finger lightly around the rim, smiling softly.

“I was handsome back then…I won’t blame you” He said distractedly, and took a few minutes to contemplate quietly. His finger on the glass stilled, his eyes were soon unfocused, yet the smile on his lips remained.

“I won’t lie to you myself then” He said after a moment, and lifted his head, his gaze set on her. “I too had a huge high-school boy crush on you, myself”

And Eunji couldn’t help the smile blooming upon her lips. Her heart beat so hard, and her skin prickled with indescribable emotions, feelings she had never known to exist. She wasn’t sure whether to believe him or whether to take him lightly, jokingly, because what he just said was beyond possible. The Sung Gyu Eunji met hat night was beautiful, effervescent, way above her league. She could have hardly caught his eyes back then, as much as things were right now. She was afraid to show she acknowledged it, that it made her happy beyond words. Instead, she turned away, and hid her blushing cheeks in the dark.

“You were overdressed, like it was a costume party…” Sung Gyu carried on from behind her. “Especially the glitter. I don’t think I’d ever forget the glitter”

Eunji listened to him as he spoke attentively, things he has never told her before, things she never knew he remembered, had taken notice of, and felt butterflies fluttering away in her heart.

Thus, she decided to add a few snippets of her experience herself.

“You were…y…” She cleared . “Tall, lean, handsome. Auburn hair, pale skin, and a child…” She trailed off and tapped her fingers on the cabinet impatiently. “I think it’s seeing you carry Sung Jae which made you look the most attractive”

Sung gyu chuckled from behind her. “Well I guess you’ve always had an odd taste in men…. single fathers, sculptors…”

She huffed her cheeks and groaned in annoyance. “Moon Soo is my biggest ever mistake”

“So as having a fleeting crush on a single father” Sung gyu responded. He has carried the last bottle of champagne and his flute to the kitchen island, and was perched on a stool beside her. He poured her a flute-full of champagne.

“Don’t worry, I don’t have a crush on you anymore” Eunji responded challengingly, and picked up her glass.

“You’re not my typed anyway”

Silence ensued afterwards, both of them entangled in their own thoughts. The content in the champagne bottle became little and little, Eunji slowly succumbed into semi drunkenness. At some point or the other, they’ve gotten closer. Their shoulders almost touched. At some point or the other, Eunji had looked up to stare at Sung Gyu almost longingly, at how his hands remained rigid and how his shoulders hunched, almost in defeat.

“Tell me what happened” She finally said.

Sung gyu looked up and surveyed her face as if he was making it certain she could be trusted with what he was about to disclose. Eunji met his eyes and looked up at him reassuringly. He looked so disheartened, so much so that she wanted to reach out and hold his hand in hers. She refrained nonetheless, and somehow managed to pass the message that he could trust her, solely with her gaze.

Sung Gyu gave in, sat up, and stretched his arms. “Lots of things happened” he said.

Eunji shrugged. “We have all night”

Sung gyu watched her for another split of a second. She wondered why he was so vary of her, of her knowing him, seeing him inside out. During the year they’ve been together, she has witnessed so many sides of him. She’s seen him break, she’s seen him climb back on his feet. She’s seen him fall in love, she’s seen him fall out of it. She’s seen him laugh and cry and weary and upset; she’s been with him in his happiest moments and the saddest. The point was that she knew him like an open book. She could read his moves, she could understand his dispositions, and all through that she’s chosen to be with him, and if anything, be a support for him, though she was uncertain of her reason for letting things be that way. Sung gyu didn’t have to be so uncertain of her. He could trust her.

She could have been wrong though, because the look in his eyes showed that he certainly did.

“Well?”

Sung gyu, without reverting his gaze, asked her in a small voice. “Eunji, you understand that I didn’t invite you tonight to work, right?”

Eunji blinked. “Well, of course! It’s Sung jae’s Birthday, and it was I who wanted to have a party”

“Right” Sung gyu nodded and turned away.

“Wait” Eunji grabbed his arm, but recoiled soon after as he turned to face her. “What’s that got to do with anything?”

Sung Gyu let out a long, frustrated sigh. “Woohyun and I had a…row, about you”

Eunji almost smiled at the thought. They fought? About her? Woohyun who never had a fight with his gentle, hardly-losing-his-temper best friend over her? She wasn’t sure whether she should be happy or concerned.

Her voice cracked stifling a chuckle even as she spoke. “Why…would you fight over me?” She lifted her gaze and met his eyes. “Wait…is this a love triangle?”

Sung gyu dismissed her with a wave of his hand. “Don’t get too ahead of yourself” He took a sip of his champagne, and stared ahead thoughtfully. “He thinks I’m overworking you…and that I’m dragging you into my family problems…” He took a deep breath and turned to face her. “Eunji, is that how you also feel? If so, I’m sorry with my whole heart. I didn’t mean to let things happen that way, and I promise it won’t happen ever again. I lose my temper sometimes whenever Sung Jae is concerned, so things like this…happens. But if you ever feel burdened by it, by my complicated life, by anything…” He took a deep breath and turned away. “You’re more than allowed to leave…” he looked down at his glass, unaware that Eunji stared down at him, exasperated. “In fact…things aren’t getting any better now, and I don’t want you to be involved. You don’t have anything to do with it, so you don’t have to hold responsibility of anything…and Sung jae’s pretty matured now. You can have a better career, a better life. I’ll help you find a good place to work…you don’t have to come here anymore”

With a loud clutter, Eunji slid off the stool and stood up with her hands clenched on her sides. Sung Gyu swiveled around to face her, his face contorted with so many unreadable emotions.

“Boss, are you…firing me?”

Sung Gyu pressed his lips into a thin line, refusing to respond and it made her even angrier. “Boss, you can’t do that! You can’t suddenly decide to fire me without even considering my opinion! That’s…that’s a breach of contract!”

He sighed in response. “We don’t even have a contract. Besides you already wanted to leave”

“Well, it was months ago! And that’s nothing to do with you or your complicated whatever”

“Woohyun doesn’t seem like he’d want you to work for me” Sung Gyu added wearily. “In fact, asking me to hire you was probably intended as giving you a break”

“A break?” Eunji exclaimed and threw her hands in frustration. “I was unemployed! What was I supposed to have a break from? From ing unemployment?”

“Well I don’t know” Sung gyu muttered and tilted the bottle for a refill, but it was empty. “And we’re out of booze”

Eunji sunk back into the stool and ran a hand down her face. “Boss, I don’t want to leave. I don’t want a career. All I want to do is live happily, and this is good enough. But if this is about…salary or something, well, I’d find another job but still work for you”

Sung gyu stared at her as if she’s lost her mind. “Eunji, it’s not about the money. But why do you want to work for me so much?”

She wasn’t certain herself. Why exactly did she want to continue working for him? He was right. Sung Jae’s grown up into a wonderful little boy and he hardly required a baby sitter, except for the times he’d be alone at home, and there wasn’t really anything which kept her bound to do this job. What was her reason then? What made her so reluctant to move on and do an actual job? A job which served justice to her education?

She took one long look at her employer. Sung Gyu’s eyes were very, very brown; something she hasn’t taken notice of before. And they had a certain shine which swirled around in his dark golden orbs like a little universe of his own. The creases on his pale skin, the constant frown and all the worries mirrored in his gaze, they made him look old and weary than ever before. She felt a tight clench in her heart. Eunji wanted to care for him. Eunji felt responsible for him. Eunji felt she was bound to him, and that’s the reason why she couldn’t leave. It wasn’t entirely about Sung Jae anymore. Sung gyu too, had somehow, become a significant part of her life.

She suddenly slid off the stool and stood back, his gaze was following her.

“We-we need more booze” Eunji stammered, averting her gaze, looking at anything but him. “Is there a convenience store or something open at this time?”

Sung gyu looked dazed for a moment, preoccupied. He nodded somewhat distractedly, and slid off the stool himself. “Yeah…just around the corner”

“Well come on, then” Eunji proceeded to walk out of the kitchen. “We’ll talk over some beer”

*

It was cold outside when they stepped into the garden, and it was eerily quiet that they could even hear the slightest rustle of the leaves in the wind. Sung gyu buried both his hands into his jacket pocket and made it across the lawn, Eunji following after him. He had reached for the car keys when they were about to leave, since it was late and they had to return home soon, but Eunji shook her head and responded that they both needed a breath of fresh air. She was quite right. As Sung gyu inhaled the cold spring air with both his eyes fluttered close, as the scent of damp earth and blossoms wafted around him, he felt lighter, calmer, and all the raging frustrations from the events of that day gradually instilled for the moment. He relaxed, and by the look in her eyes, Eunji did too. They walked down the empty lane with only the streetlights illuminating the path before them, quiet for a moment, and then him opening up to her about everything that he needed to be heard. It pacified him. Sung Gyu needed an outlet, to vent out his worries in a way which didn’t worsen his mood, in a way which only made him feel calmer. Eunji was a perfect distraction, a slightly odd but a beautiful, perfect distraction. He told her everything from that day. He didn’t know why he found it so easy to communicate his most earnest emotions and everything that he despised to disclose with her. Perhaps it was how she listened attentively, paid attention to every detail of his account, or how she responded at all the right points so carefully and diligently, as if she was afraid one wrong move would break him. He didn’t feel unwanted when it was her. After all which happened that night, with everyone telling him how despicable him and his uncertain actions were for them, Sung Gyu was contented to be with her. It was strange, but Eunji made him happy.

A walk of twenty minutes brought them out into the busy street. Though their lane was practically dead and empty at this time of the day, the main street was full and mingling with life. The street food vendors were busy running about in the heavy steam and late night drunkards, students, and night workers filled just about every street food outlet. Sung Gyu placed a protective hand behind Eunji and led her through the crowd, keeping an eye on drunkards and street men who could turn an eye on the lady, who, momentarily he felt, was his. Eunji stiffened in his arms, of course. He felt it quite prominently. The brave Eunji wasn’t quite so brave on a busy night street in the arms of a man trying to protect her. It was kind of cute.

The two of them finally arrived at a convenience store which was also filled with nightly customers. Eunji instinctively relaxed as soon as he moved away from her, as soon as the street crowd was nowhere near her. Sung Gyu grabbed a plastic basket, and headed straight to the alcohol section. He loaded the basket with bottles of beer and Soju, and Eunji arrived from wherever she’s disappeared to, manhandling a load of snacks and sweets.

“You eat a lot for a small person” Sung Gyu commented as he distractedly surveyed the soft drinks.

“Yup. Booze no good without chips” She replied and looked through the basket which was laden with all kinds of alcoholic beverages. “You’re not planning to get stinking drunk, are you?”

“Hm? Depends” Sung Gyu replied and dumped a few cans of soda into the basket. “Anything else you would like, Eunji?”

She shook her head. “We’ve lot to carry home anyway”

It was one of Sung Gyu’s mother’s lady friends at the counter. If it was another time, he would have gotten irritated with her constant questioning and being looked at from head to toe as if he had landed from an alien planet. But for once, he could escape the unwanted advances; Eunji decided step in in his stead. She answered all the questions for him, though most her answers were ridiculous to the point he wanted to giggle or laugh hysterically. No wonder Woohyun was so overprotective of her. Sung gyu would have felt the same. He didn’t like feel so at all times, but sometimes, Eunji could be undeniably precious.

Once all the items were rung and once Eunji had spewed a heap of lies about her relationship with Sung Gyu (she was an ex-wife of a chaebol and Sung gyu saved her life from a criminal, apparently) both Sung Gyu and Eunji pulled out their cards to pay.

“Let me pay this once” Eunji said with a congenial smile, showing off her pretentious ‘Chaebol-wife’ stance, and batted her eyes. “Please, Sung Gyu-ssi”

Sung Gyu rolled his eyes and pulled her towards him with a hand on her waist. “It’s my money you pay with anyway” He muttered into her ear, and realization dawned upon her, flushing her cheeks crimson. “O-oh that makes sense” She replied and stuffed her card back into her purse. Sung gyu could only shake his head with a soft chuckle and hand his card over to the cashier lady.

“You two are cute together” The lady commented as she worked on the card. “So what happened after Sung gyu-Ssi defeated this vicious criminal?”

“Uh…” Eunji suddenly looked so lost, thinking of all the ways to salvage the situation, and he stifled the giggle erupting in his throat. “Well, he was-he was convicted at the court!”

The lady shook her head in disappointment. “Tsk, I was hoping to hear some good news”

Sung gyu surveyed his wrist which didn’t even have a watch and looked up as Eunji took hold of the bags with a sour face. “Auntie, we must go now, see you later!”

When they finally exited the store, and stepped out into the busy, warm street, Sung Gyu couldn’t help but break out in laughter. It was strange. Just a few hours ago he was feeling lost, dejected, unloved. But as soon as Eunji walked in through the doors, just in the way she walked into his life, unexpected, stormy and beautiful, Sung Gyu was smiling and laughing again.

“Seriously? What a cliché story was that!” Sung gyu exclaimed through his wheezing. “I don’t think there would ever be a time when I’d save you from a criminal”

“Or marrying a Chaebol” Eunji said with a straight face and balanced the two bags in both her hands. “Geez! The things I do for you, you should be grateful for me”

Sung gyu stared down at her, and took note of every little detail of her. She didn’t have glitter in her hair, but it still shined. She wasn’t the fairy-tale princess from the first night they met, but she was still beautiful just the same. His lips curved into a fond smile as his heart strings tugged incessantly that it pained.

“I am…” He said in a small voice. She looked up, their eyes met, and as soon as his heart picked pace, he looked away. Eunji immediately moved past him while carrying the grocery in both her hands. Though she seemed strong, her hands were definitely the weakest. She looked tilted to the heavy side and her hands turned red in her tight grasp; concerned, Sung Gyu soon strode towards her and grabbed hold of the heavier bag in her hand.

“Let me take this”

“No, it’s fine!” Eunji argued.

“It’s heavy let me take it”

“No, boss it’s okay” She said, looked down at her hand which held the bag; Sung Gyu’s eyes followed, and both realized that they’ve been holding hands the entire time. Sung Gyu didn’t make a move though. He felt her stiffen. He felt her stilled in the moment. Her pupils dilated, her eyes shined in the streetlights, her lips parted and a lovely shade of crimson dusted her cheeks. Sung gyu stared down at her, right into her eyes and through her soul. An enigmatic exchange, a beautiful distraction. Sung gyu felt his heart thudding frantically in his throat, and he became aware of the softness of her hand against the slightly rough one of his own. His skin prickled where they touched, a sensation which coursed through his veins and hit him incessantly on the doors of his heart. Something snapped. Something broke. Eunji’s hand let go of his along with the bag she held and out of reflex Sung Gyu was able to grab it before it fell. Had he missed a second, lost in her eyes, the bottles would have shattered into pieces by his feet.

“Oh, uhm…”

“Are you okay?” Sung gyu asked, and almost hit himself on his head. What a stupid question; she definitely was alright, if the vigorous shade of crimson on her face said anything.

“I am” Eunji said, and proceeded to walk ahead. But upon seeing the business of the streets, she remained, and Sung Gyu realized with a pang that the moment was gone. He was back to being her protector as they traversed the street, nothing more.

The two of them didn’t speak a word on their way back home. He brought her safely through the busy street, protectively putting his hand around her when a strange drunkard would pass, but paying extra attention not to let their skin touch. Once they arrived at their lane, the quietness followed. Eunji walked ahead, Sung Gyu a stride behind her, watching her, realizing that something significant had changed between them over the course of time they’ve spent together. It was horrifying, to say the least. But also, exciting. Beautiful, even. Yet again, he was unsure of what his heart truly wanted.

Upon arriving at home, Sung Gyu happened to bury his hand in the inner pocket of his jacket, searching for his keys almost out of habit, and found something unexpected, though he knew it was there, because it was him who brought it with purpose. The calm, comfortable disposition he had earlier on completely dissipated, replaced with hatred and dismay. He pulled out the photograph reluctantly, and stared down at its creased edges, completely daunted.

“Boss?” Eunji called from the kitchen and peaked out holding two glasses in her hands. “Coming?”

“W-wait” He stammered and cleared his throat. “I’ll…check on Sung Jae and come”

“Sure” Eunji smiled and disappeared into the dark.

The photograph was brought to be safe-kept in its destined place; a place Sung Jae wouldn’t be able to reach, a place where it would turn into dust and be buried deep in memories he’d rather forget. Sung Jae was still sound asleep when he reached his old bedroom, and in the dark, nestled in search for comfort and warmth, the child looked so small, fragile. It broke his heart. He hated it that Sung Jae was growing up so fast. Hence it was obvious that he wouldn’t be able to keep him in the dark for too long. He was an intelligent child, and with Yoora coming over and intervening with everything they do, it wouldn’t be too long until he really would find out; tonight, was just the beginning, and he was uncertain of what would come after. He didn’t want Sung jae to learn the truth in any other way but from him. If he found out himself, Sung Gyu was sure, he’d hate him for hiding things for so long. Sung gyu would hate himself, for being so selfish and scared. He wouldn’t want Sung Jae to think he was weak. He wouldn’t want to give a negative impression of himself. What was the right way then? What could he possibly do?

He averted his eyes, finally making up his mind. Whatever happened tonight would certainly pass with time. Sung jae was young, he was curious, and the strange incidents from tonight would have certainly led him to all sorts of assumptions. Though the one he made in his first attempt did indeed come out right, that didn’t necessarily mean he wouldn’t stop. The heat of the moment would die down, and it will only be a memory which would pass with time. The future, for them, of course was uncertain. Yet for now, certain things better be left a blur.

Sung Gyu opened his childhood cupboard and blindly searched under a stack of jackets from his young days, of vibrant colors and a few sizes smaller, and located the key for its only drawer. Upon unlocking it, he found the familiar remains of their past. The blue flannel, the old birth registries and papers, the letter Sung Jae was brought with and the photograph from six years ago. A tight knot formed in his throat as he became overwhelmed with emotions. Anger, hatred, guilt, sorrow, reminiscence. There were tears welling up in his eyes; nonetheless, he persevered. The photo was placed with the rest of their past, exactly where they belonged, tucked away from prying eyes in hopes that they will all fade away into oblivion. Sung Gyu wished they could physically vanish so that they would never end up in Sung Jae’s hands. He could actually make them disappear. But he hadn’t the heart to. As much as it hurt to be reminded of their bitter past, it was also the beginning of something beautiful that he cannot forget.

The excess of emotions kept him stuck in the moment for a little too long. He leaned against the closed cupboard, his eyes shut tight, fingers threading through his overgrown hair in frustration. He knew he was lying to himself now, only so that he’d be relieved for the moment, only so that the pain wouldn’t get any worse. But deep inside he knew that the truth was far different from how he tried to make himself believe. Yoora would come back. She wouldn’t give in any sooner. And the possibility of Sung Jae finding out in the worse was possible was only getting worse and worse. How could he stop this from happening? What could he do? Just what?

“Boss?” Eunji’s gentle voice brought him back to his senses, and Sung gyu finally pulled himself away from the cupboard. She stood by the doorway, her doe eyes full of concern. She watched him for a moment questioningly, as if she was weighing her next movement. Sung Gyu took one last look at the cupboard door and walked towards Sung jae’s bed. He sunk onto his old mattress where Sung Jae slept peacefully buried under his pale blue covers, and ran his hand through the child’s dark locks. Sung Jae might have turned nine, today. But he will still and always be his little baby.

“Is he…alright?” Sung gyu thought out loud, a question directed to the only one person who knew the child, perhaps better than he ever did.

“He was upset…” Eunji answered and stepped into the threshold. “But I suppose he’d be fine by tomorrow”

Sung Gyu’s hand descended to his fluffy cheeks. “I’ll talk to him tomorrow…”

There was a beat of silence, and Eunji had taken another step closer. “Are you going to tell him?”

Was he? Was that the decision he had come down to, after so much of contemplation. He turned around and looked at the other. He needed further clarification. “What do you think? Should I?”

He had hoped her to say yes without a beat, simply agree with him and perhaps even point out that it’s what she’d been telling him the whole time. But the expected reaction didn’t come. She wasn’t really saying anything, and the silence continued.

“Eunji?”

She shifted on her feet, and her head hung low, eyes solely focused on her feet. “Boss, Sung jae, he…”

“Hm?” Sung Gyu pulled away from his son and turned to face the other, paying her his utmost attention.

“Sung Jae…. doesn’t sound very fond of her…” She let her voice trail off, and after a deep breath she finally looked up. “In fact, I don’t think he’d like to know her as his mother let alone meet her. He doesn’t like it that you two always seemed to fight. He doesn’t really…believe his mother is her…”

Sung Gyu felt his heart losing its pace in his chest. Earlier on, Eunji was all in for telling him. In fact, it was her idea to disclose everything to Sung Jae the first place. What made her change her mind suddenly? What made her think that Sung Jae wasn’t fond of his mother? Sung gyu recalled the time when Sung Jae found solace in his baby sitter’s embrace when Sung gyu lost his patience. It’s not the first time either. Sung jae always seemed content when it was Eunji. He couldn’t blame him. Eunji was always kind and considerate. She put herself ahead whenever a situation occurred and did whatever possible to make things right again. She was a great person. With a pang, he realized, she wasn’t like Yoora. Of course, Sung Jae would prefer Eunji over anyone, including his own mother. Perhaps, Sung Jae even expected for his mother to be like her.

And what did Sung gyu honestly feel about it? He wasn’t certain himself.

“I think it’s better if you two talk about it properly between the two of you” Eunji carried on quite gravely. “Tell her the truth, and whatever else that you feel. She has to understand. And if she loved Sung Jae, she would stop. If I were her, I wouldn’t even try getting back to him once he rejects me. His decision is the most important here. So, if he doesn’t want her, that should be it”

Sung gyu mulled it over for a moment, everything that Eunji has said. Would Yoora stop there, then? If Sung Jae rejected her as his mother? Would she finally understand and let them be in peace? But then, everything she told him earlier that day surged back into his mind. She’d been trying to save him, save him from Sung Gyu; ambitious, passionate, Hard-minded Sung Gyu who had his will set on one and only purpose, which didn’t include getting married so soon, let alone raising a son. Sung Gyu wanted to ignore the gnawing, sick feeling it left in the pit of his stomach every time he thought of it, he wanted to overlook it and pretend he never even hears anything of the like. But he couldn’t. Nor could he bring himself to deny it, because deep inside, he knew, what Yoora had told him was the truth. He’d have asked her to destroy the child. He’d have done exactly that. In that sense, Sung Gyu would be equally wrong as much as Yoora was. She did what she did for a reason, and the reason was him. If that was the case, then, Yoora still had every right to see him, whether Sung Gyu liked it or not.

“What if…” He started, finally coming down to a resolve. “What if we let him meet her and let him reject her himself? Sung Jae’s grown old enough to understand what he wants…and not”

Eunji pursed her lips, and shook her head knowingly. Her eyes were down casted, still. “No boss. Sung Jae would never reject her to her face…” She finally raised her head, and a soft, reluctant smile was donning her lips. “He will never do anything like that…” A moment of hesitation, and she added in a smaller voice. “He’s your son, after all…”

And that was the truth. Sung Jae would never do anything of the like. In fact, he would be much like himself, denying everything that he truly felt. Eunji knew both of them better than anyone else did.

He looked up at the girl and surveyed her for a moment, at her shy, reserved demeanor, the uncomfortable smile on her lips and how she tried so hard to not meet his gaze though she really wanted to. She wore a short red plaited dress which was a few inches above her knees, and the sight of her bare feet gave him prickles underneath his skin. Her long, dark hair fell gracefully along her back, and her bangs, slightly overgrown, almost always covered her eyes. She was a rather remarkable woman; Eunji really was. She was beautiful, kind and precious. She knew both Sung Gyu and Sung Jae inside out. There was no wonder Woohyun was trying to protect her at all costs, even from his own best friend.

Sung Gyu finally willed himself to stand up, turned around and bent down to fix Sung jae’s quilt. Regardless of his age, Sung Jae still very much reminded him of the month-old baby he held for the very first time. He fell in love with him two weeks after he got him, as he sat on this very bed, the baby in his arms, contemplating his next moves. Sung jae had looked up at him, then. His small eyes widened and sparkling with adoration and mischief. Sung Gyu knew he was a troublemaker at first sight, much like he himself. But what which made him change his mind about giving him away was one simple gesture. Sung Jae had stared up at his father for a moment too long, and Sung Gyu had felt it, that enigmatic connection they have formed, or even better, had finally found, over the course of two weeks. Sung Jae had smiled then, toothless, the tiny pink lips stretching out into a sweetest curve and he knew it. He loved him, and that was that.

He fixed Sung Jae’s hair which has fallen into his eyes and stared down at him for a fleeting moment. Would he have done that? What Yoora thought he would? If she had come to him, heavily pregnant, or even with the baby in her arms, would he even have considered getting rid of this little miracle of love, this precious creature of joy, all for his own selfish gain? The truth was that Sung gyu could never be too sure himself. He couldn’t remember what his past self was. It was as if it had buried itself beneath this new life he had built with a child. And he had no reason, whatsoever to unearth it now.

With a sigh, Sung Gyu leaned over and left a chaste kiss on Sung Jae’s forehead. Even after years, that soft scent of baby talc was yet to disappear, the scent he loved very much so. But tonight, his hair had a fragrance of something completely different; yet that something, he recognized quite so easily. A scent so fruity and of spring, it was hers. It’s quite clear to him now. Sung Jae, rather tentatively had found the warmth of a mother in her embrace.

He stood up and finally walked towards Eunji. The room was dark, but Sung Gyu was certain there was an obvious blush donning her pale cheeks, especially when he put a hand on her back, leading her out the room. It was an unconscious gesture, something he did for all the close women of his life. But he sure enjoyed doing it for her, solely to see that lovely crimson and her shy smile.

“Come on, let’s have a drink” He told her, and escorted down the corridor.

*

Eunji had already placed the bottles of alcohol in the low coffee table in the living room, and left the windows open, letting the cold spring air to seep in. Sung Gyu’s parents’ house was spacious and the living room itself was as twice the size of Sung Gyu’s one back in his condominium. The two of them reclined in the sofa and Sung Gyu reached out to snatch a can of beer from the coffee table. He latched it open with a crack, the content whizzed out in a bubbly flurry. When he handed it to her Eunji accepted it with both hands and watched him as he opened another, which he poured into a class and mixed with a wash of Soju.

“I think I wouldn’t tell Sung Jae about her” Sung Gyu continued their discussion from before after a sip of his alcohol concoction, and Eunji took a sip from her own, feeling slightly giddy, sitting too close to a breathtaking diversion. “I think it will pass with time, don’t you think? If we work on keeping Yoora away from him as much as possible?”

Eunji’s hands could barely hold onto the can, let alone pay attention to whatever he was saying. The previous events kept on running in her mind as if it was a faulty record. His hands on her back, her breath in her ears, his manly scent of aftershave, cologne and perspiration filling her lungs with every breath. He looked like a mess, alright, he was a mess. But no mess she had ever seen has ever been so beautiful. She wished she could concentrate, but she’d rather if they changed the topics.

And there he was, thinking that she wanted to leave, that she was overworking him. Eunji couldn’t bring herself to admit the truth, of course. The truth was that, she’d overwork, she’d work for a low wage, hell, she wouldn’t care if they never had a bloody contract as long as she could see him everyday.

After all, her love for Sung Jae didn’t entirely cover-up as the reason for her to stay.

“Eunji?” Sung Gyu’s voice came from a distant, but when she looked up, his face was right in hers. Her hands clutched tighter onto the can in her hand and she moved away. “Ugh…yeah” She couldn’t say that she barely heard anything because she was distracted by how he smelled so nice. “Yeah, I think…so too”

Sung Gyu scrutinized her for a moment, his brows furrowed, eyes narrowed and all, and finally broke into a slight chuckle. “I don’t think this is the moment for a serious conversation” He said cheerfully and took a sip of his drink. “The look on your face says it all. You’re not paying attention”

Eunji gasped, and one of her hands moved to cup her cheek. It was warm despite the coldness in the room. “W-what…what about my face?”

“Nothing” Sung Gyu smiled and looked over the table at the array of snacks she had purchased from the store. “Woah, look at all the calories and fats spread out here” He picked up a packet of shrimp chips and read its content with a look of distaste. “Look, it even includes MSG, which is bad for help”

Eunji loved shrimp chips, and she wasn’t going to listen to an old (Pretty) fart lecturing about her nutritional faults and stop eating what she loved. So, she snatched it with a sour face, ripped it open and stuffed her face with a handful of its content. The sound reverberated in her ears as she munched, and the burst of flavors led her to shut her eyes close in gratification. She didn’t even realize that this gesture had somehow caught someone’s eyes. “Geez you eat like a child” He said, and while she still had her eyes closed, she felt something cold brush past the corner of her lips. Her eyes fluttered open in surprise, and witnessed Sung Gyu wiping his hand on a paper napkin, a smile on his face. Eunji’s heart began to thud heavily in , and she could swear, one of those days, Sung Gyu was going to be the death of her.

They talked, afterwards, about number of things; none of it, however involved incidents from tonight or anything even remotely related to Sung gyu’s current predicament. It was obvious that what he really soughed after was a distraction. Eunji witnessed it the past few weeks how fidgety and edgy he seemed, perhaps worried about Yoora walking in through the doors and dragging his son along with her. He always kept to himself the most crucial details, and only let out the bits which he supposed were less worrisome, all for the fact that he liked to resolve things on his own. Eunji could tell that this tactic hadn’t worked well so far. Though they’d thought Yoora wouldn’t return after her last involvement, she still did, very boldly. Though Sung Gyu had thought the situation was all under control, in reality, nothing has changed.

Therefore, Eunji kept it in her mind not to mention anything related to what which she deemed as taboo-stories in their current conversation. She did a lot of talking, nonetheless. Sung Gyu asked about her sister and her baby, she told him everything she knew. She asked him about work, he disclosed all the cases they’ve been working on, and how stressful it had been. Their topics varied from time to time, and the bottles and cans of alcohol emptied as the night passed. Soon they slowly succumbed into a semi drunkard state, where Sung gyu seemed tipsier than Eunji herself was. He was currently sipping on another glass of beer mixed with Soju, his eyes narrowed, a goofy smile on his lips.

“I don’t usually get drunk” He went on as he surveyed the content in his glass. “You know, after Jae was…born, I only drank red bull, a bit of wine and champagne at odd times. That’s it. And when I go out with friends, I only have Soju mixed with orange juice”

Eunji had a fair idea of Sung Gyu’s drinking habits, and had already determined that his not drinking for a long time had declined his alcohol tolerance. She knew he tried to get drunk on alcohol or champagne at worst possible problems he faced, supposedly the only way of numbing his muddled-up mind. She felt a tinge of sympathy towards. Fatherhood had not only limited his freedom as an adolescent and a man, it had also confined into a state of utter misery with no reliance.

“Why did you not drink, boss?” Eunji asked rather curiously, watching him as he continued to sip on his drink.

“It’s quite obvious, isn’t it?” He said, and laughed at seemingly what was his own imagination. “Because of Sung Jae, of course. How could I go home all tipsy and smelling bad and everything?” He hiccupped, and looked down at his glass fondly, as if he was in love with it. “I want to be a good father for him. I want to be someone he looks up to all the time”

She had always known for him to be so considerate. He always put Sung Jae ahead of everything, would always think from his side of the spectrum before making decisions of all sorts. And of course, he’d stop drinking for the sake of his son. He would give up his adolescent freedom for him.

“Why are you drinking now, then?” Eunji asked, setting down her glass. She could do with a little break on her alcohol consumption for the moment.

Sung Gyu hiccupped again and reclined into the sofa. “Because we’re at my parents’ house”

“Makes sense” Eunji shrugged and watched him as he smiled into nothingness. It was impossible, to say the least; how he could look so attractive, even with a weird smile on his face. “Also because I have you” He said.

A moment of stunned silence passed from her side as Eunji stared at him as if he was spewing utter nonsense. For one, here he was, drinking with her. For the second, she couldn’t understand how much of blind trust Sung Gyu had imposed on her.

Sung Gyu, oblivious of her unruly expression, carried on with the same strange smile on his lips.

“To be honest, Eunji, I trust Sung Jae with you more than anyone else. I could leave him with you any day, and not be worried sick if he’s gotten into trouble or anything because you’re always there to save the day”

Eunji felt a surge of emotions erupting within her. It was as if what she had feared the most has happened. For her, trust was a burden, trust didn’t allow her to do mistakes, trust always pushed her into being a perfect being she truly wasn’t, and Sung Gyu trusting her way too much bout Sung Jae, nothing less, was scaring her. What if she did even a slightest of a mistake? Eunji would resent her very existence for the rest of her life. She knew that Sung Gyu, sometimes, liked to rely on her, but she wanted there to be a limit. She wanted him to understand that she wasn’t the best person for him to trust.

“B-boss…you shouldn’t, I mean…you can’t-,”

“Hm?” Sung Gyu looked up I his drunken stupor and raised his brows. He didn’t look very much like someone who would understand anything even if she made her claim in her clearest, cleverest ways. Sung gyu dismissed her, just as a semi-drunk person would, and poured himself a glass. When he realized the bottle that they had on the table was empty, he climbed off the sofa, sunk onto the floor and began to blindly search under the coffee table as if they had a secret stash of beverages in an invisible compartment. And Sung Gyu hadn’t even had that much. Eunji was certain she had had about one entire bottle of Soju whereas Sung Gyu only had two cans of beer mixed to half a bottle, but still Eunji was up and sane while Sung Gyu had suddenly converted into a five-year-old.

“Where…where is it? I swear I put it here” Sung Gyu slurred as he continued to search under the table with an extended hand. Eunji sighed and reached over him to retrieve a new bottle of Soju from the grocery bag. Thankfully, it was the last. All that they have left now was Eunji’s huge supply of different flavored chips. She screwed open the bottle and handed it over to him. “Ah” He mused, grabbed his glass with a wobbly hand and poured a generous amount into it before putting it aside and drinking straight from the bottle.

“Whoa, whoa boss!” Eunji exclaimed and reached for the bottle in his hands. He had his head tilted back, the bottle pressed on his lips, his eyes closed gleefully, and beads of soju dribbling down his chin. Eunji gulped hard, her eyes involuntarily focusing on the curve of his neck. He had undone a several buttons in the wake of his drunkenness, and it now revealed a fair amount of his pure, unblemished skin. The chain with clack beads was still hidden under the folds of his shirt, and it sparkled lightly against his tanned skin. It was beautiful; not the chain, of course. It was the sight of him. Eunji couldn’t’ even find the will to stop him from drinking afterwards. Her mind felt light, she was dizzy, and she kept staring at his neck, then his face, and his chest at the odd moments, feeling her face burn in embarrassment. If he really kept that up, Eunji could swear she would-,

“The booze is over” Sung Gyu banged the empty bottle of Soju loudly on the table, he again started to feel urgently on the carpet, now practically lying across it, his eyes drooping and his hands flailing about. Eunji decided that it was the high time they call it a night.

“Boss that was the last bottle” She said, stood up and clutched onto a nearby lamp when her feet became wobbly. Somehow, she managed to grab hold of her boss’s arms and gave her best to pull him up despite her tipsy state.

“Wait, I want more…” Sung Gyu muttered, unconsciously relenting to her while simultaneously feeling under the table. “Ah I swear I put some here”

He was cute, slurring and tiny eyed and all, but he was drunk, and he needed to sleep.

Exhausted, Eunji stood up and said, without thinking, “There’s more in the kitchen”

“Really?” Sung Gyu’s eyes brightened and he looked up at her brightly. His cheeks were rosy, his lips formed a gleeful smile. Eunji couldn’t help but feel her heart give a sudden skip.

“Yup” Eunji nodded, and soon Sung gyu climbed up on his feet with a flurry. He could hardly balance himself, nevertheless. He kept swaying back and forth, and he too had to grab onto the lamp and it almost fell under his weight. Luckily, Eunji managed to grab him before he could fall and hurt himself.

The abrupt grabbing she’s done, however, turned out to be a huge mistake. It took a moment for her to realize the posture they were in; and it wasn’t so good. It wasn’t good at all. Eunji was quite literally hugging Sung Gyu. Her hands were under his arms, her palms resting on his back, and her face was so close to his chest since that’s how far she could reach despite her height. With every breath, she could feel his manly scent, every time she blinked, she was greeted by the fabric of his dark blue shirt and the smooth, unapparent slope of his chest. She could feel his warmth embracing her, and if she’d lift her head, they’d be inches apart from doing something unimaginable. Her heart hammered relentlessly in her chest, struggling to break through and perhaps latch onto him. It was probably because they were drunk, probably because her mind was in shambles. It was a strange, strange, occurrence, but somehow she had come to the relishing conclusion that she might be in love.

Sung Gyu was looking down at her, and she could feel him staring at her hair on top of her head. The uncomfortable feeling it gave her beckoned her to look up, finally, and the sight of his face, his thin, almond eyes, his perfectly sculptured nose which was only crooked a little on the left, and his soft rosy lips, smiling down at her, Eunji panicked slightly and pushed herself away from him

But then he wobbled, his hands grasped her waist, holding her in place, bringing her closer and back into his embrace. Eunji’s heart had stopped beating at this point. She was certain it had died. Even while being drunk, he was mesmerizing, everything about him. She wanted to turn away, look elsewhere, but her eyes kept going back to return his long, heart-fluttering gaze.

“Oh wow” Sung Gyu muttered all of a sudden, and his warm, boozy breath brushing past her skin. One of his hands raised and he began to arrange her bangs. He brought it to her eyes, then to the either side. He tried to divide it from the middle, failed since his hands weren’t giving in, but then he pushed it all the way back and began to laugh when her hairlines showed. It was a nice, throaty laughter, and it sounded incredibly attractive up close. She could almost feel his voice reverberating in his chest.

“W-what are you doing?” Eunji stammered as his hand finally lifted from her head. It was now on the small of her back and it was no better than earlier. In fact, she wished she could escape his iron grip.

“Mm, nothing” Sung Gyu shrugged and stared down at her. His eyes sparkled, unlike how they were earlier that night, bleak, dark and somber. Eunji wasn’t certain if he was genuinely happy about something or he was just really, really drunk.

Probably the latter.

Eunji sighed and tugged at him with the arm around his back. “Come on, time to go to bed”

But it was as if the gravity was holding him dead set on the ground, he was so heavy, and he was just refusing to move. Instead, he was quite surreptitiously pulling her closer into him; and reluctantly so, Eunji was giving in. Sung Gyu buried his face in her hair, and his arms rested around her waist. Eunji tried her best to not collapse through all of this, and flinched when he moved away. “You smell so nice…so fruity…”

“Oh, um, Thanks…” She replied meekly, recalling Sung Jae telling her the same just a few hours ago.

Sung Gyu hadn’t stopped there, however. He had somehow landed into a long account on, well, the taboo topics, the exact same things they refused to talk about earlier that night. About Sung Jae, about Yoora, about himself…

“Yoora always smelt like vanilla” He slurred, swaying a little in her arms. “It was nice. Very sophisticated. But I didn’t like it much. Especially after she left” He sniffed loudly then, and when Eunji looked up, thinking he was becoming emotional over her, he looked anything but that. His cheeks were very red, if that was anything. And there was a strange smile on his lips. “I stopped drinking vanilla tea” He carried on in a slurry voice. “in fact I hate vanilla ice cream. I don’t eat pudding either, because it smells like vanilla” He chuckled at his own words, sniffed again, and carried on while Eunji had no heart to stop him.

“I like strawberry though. Jae and I went to a strawberry festival once. There were huge strawberries. They were like hearts. Red and very juicy. Sung Jae had a lot…juice was all over him” He laughed again at what was probably a fond memory, and sniffed again. “He smelled like strawberries. It was very nice…I like it better…”

Making Eunji hop slightly where she stood, Sung Gyu buried his face in her hair again. He breathed in loudly, and Eunji pressed a hand on his chest to push him away. He didn’t move but so much as pulled her in even further. “So…fruity” He murmured against her hair. “I like fruity”

“B-Boss” Eunji muttered as she struggled against his arms. Whatever was going on at that moment, it wasn’t good. It was dead in the night; the windows were open and the curtains were loosely flying in the spring wind. As much as the setting they were standing in was nothing but romantic, all Eunji wanted now was Sung Gyu making a bold move on her in his drunkard state and eventually forgetting it the next day, putting her into a second time of misery to last her entire life.

“You aren’t like Yoora” Sung Gyu blearily carried on. “You smell better, you talk better, you smile better, you treat me better…” He sighed, smiled fondly, and brought his hand to touch her hair softly. Eunji struggled again. She had to stop him. He was drunk, he was uttering nonsense in a hazy, unconscious state, none of which he sure didn’t agree on in his sane mind. Eunji knew she shouldn’t feel affected by any of it. Sung Gyu meant none of it, because it all seemed obvious to anyone. Sung Gyu hated Yoora, and it was obvious he would say things like that in a drunk stupor. But it didn’t necessarily make her any lesser than Eunji; if anything, she had always been more than her. She smelled rich and expensive, she talked slow and sophisticated, her smile was brighter than a cluster of stars even though they hardly meant anything. And even if she didn’t treat him well now, she obviously had, to the point where he fell in love with her, went to bed with her, and had a baby.

All of this made her head feel heavier, and she was slowly becoming busy, perhaps even unconscious. She had to stop him, this instant, yet nor did she have the strength to. He was drunk, heavy and relentless. Above everything, he sounded happy, talking about something which didn’t even exist.

“You’re just…nice…better” He pouted then, and finally dropped the hand which played with her hair. He wobbled on his feet, and Eunji grabbed onto him even harder, out of reflex. It brought them even closer, to the point where every time he exhaled, his breath brushed her skin. Sung Gyu took this opportunity to move closer to her, and Eunji closed her eyes. If she let go now, he’d fall, and if she didn’t, he’d-

Sung Gyu was right in her face now, just a few inches away, and with the next few words he told her, Eunji’s will to push him away disappeared completely. She so much as relented to him, and clutched onto him as if he was her dear life.

“I wish you’re his mum”

The same thing Sung Jae had told her that night, which made her change her perspectives about everything; the same thing which made her change her mind about lots of things, Sung Gyu had just told her in his own way. Sung Gyu and Sung jae were similar in so many things, but them having the same emotion about her place in his life, Eunji wasn’t sure what it meant, the pain in her heart. Was it sadness? Empathy? Contentment?

When Sung Gyu closed the gap between her, Eunji didn’t even try to stop him. She didn’t know what got over her at that time, but the very words he spoke did get to her in more ways than one. It wasn’t a kiss so to speak. Sung Gyu was too drunk to take things that far. His cold, boozy lips remained pressed onto hers, unmoving, his breath brushing against her skin. His stubble was grazing her, the tips of his fingers sunk on her skin, and it took all her will to pull away from him.

He did move away, yet he seemed to hardly have taken note of it. He was smiling down at her, his eyes hooded and cheeks pink. Eunji could swear this is what it felt like to be in love. Even though she was in love with a drunk, barely conscious man. “I like you better….” He mumbled then, his voice barely audible as he slurred. “Because Eunji will never leave me…. Eunji will never…”

Eunji’s hands grasped onto him when he moved again, his lips brushed softly against her cheek, but she managed to keep herself sane, this instant, and held him up just the same, stopping him from falling off his feet. But the words he just told her…stayed. Was it the reason why then? Why he refused to let Yoora into his life again? Refused to let her see their son? Was it because he was afraid he’d be left behind? It broke his heart, to think that he was holding onto something just for the fear of having to let go of another. He was pitiful in so many ways. Sung Gyu, despite his seemingly perfect life seemed to have suffered a lot with emotions, and the root of it all was her.

When Eunji’s hand loosened, Sung Gyu moved in again, trying to reach for her lips once more, or maybe even the skin on her neck since he was moving the other way. But just moments before his lips touched, a loud alarm began to erupt inside the room. Sung Gyu stepped away, stunned, with wide eyes and all, and when he noticed that Eunji had pulled her phone out with one hand while the other hung onto her, he laughed. “Oh! That’s a phone…ring…”

“It’s my alarm” Eunji clarified unnecessarily, and tried to move Sung Gyu for the umpteenth time.

“Alarm what alarm?” Sung Gyu slurred.

“It’s my beauty routine” Eunji sighed. It was four in the morning already, the time when she usually woke up to take off her face mask. She had forgotten to turn it off since it was a regular habit of her mornings.

“Be…au...ty?” Sung Gyu slurred, and sniffed. “But you’re already…pretty…darn…beau-,”

“Okay that’s it” Eunji finally gathered all her strength and pulled at drunk Sung Gyu with both her frail arms. He was extra heavy when he was drunk, and Eunji pretty much regretted having convinced him to do this. She shouldn’t have even mentioned getting booze. She should have suggested they drink red bull or something, or coffee, even though too much consumption gave constipation. Anything is better than this Sung Gyu making her go completely insane.

“Where we going?” Sung Gyu asked as he grabbed hold of her shoulder.

“To bed” Eunji grunted, and tried to get him to walk. “Come on, boss, move!”

“To…bed…?” Sung gyu repeated without moving a limb.

“Yes, bed”

“But?” Sung Gyu slurred again, but this time, when Eunji attempted to make him move his feet, Sung Gyu fought against her. Instead of making a single step forwards, he moved back; and it caused him to stumble on his own legs, falling on his back onto the floor, and this somehow dragged Eunji along with her. They both fell onto the carpet with a thud. Eunji had fallen with her back on the sofa, and Sung gyu was completely on the floor. When Eunji tried to move, get back up on her feet, Sung Gyu who had peacefully passed out with a smile still on his lips, snuggled comfortably against her, and buried his face against her waist. His hand s up to her lap, then, and grasped her hand which rested there. He nestled up against her, like a child. His shoulder raised and fell with each one of his even breaths, and he squeaked softly in his sleeps time to time, like a chipmunk. It was adorable. When the hand in her lap moved and their fingers intertwined, however, Eunji realized it with a pang.

The position they were sleeping in right now, was strikingly similar to how she fell asleep before, with Sung Jae snuggled against her waist. It was eerie, yet it was beautiful. How alike the two of them were without them even trying to. It also hit her, then, that Sung Gyu was, probably after years of not having slept beside a woman, finding comfort in her. She didn’t have the heart to move away, nonetheless. Sung Gyu needed it, after a long, difficult day came to an end in this manner, he really needed it.

Eunji sighed and laid back against the sofa despite her hurting back. These pains would subside along the time; if it’s all she could do to mend a broken man. The pain in her legs will go away too, when the time will pass. But the pain in her heart? What about the pain in her heart? Swaying in sleep and consciousness, Eunji listened to Sung Gyu’s soundly breath and the occasional hamster-like squeak. The sounds he made were of a child, and it was pacifying her. Eunji shut her eyes and grasped softly onto his hand. With their fingers still intertwined, heart pacing in sync, Eunji slowly drifted into a peaceful slumber where she dreamed of strawberries, pudding, a soju bottles under the coffee table, and him.

*

There was a clutter coming from somewhere, and hushed voices in the wind. Eunji fluttered her eyes open to the morning sun seeping in through the open windows, the spring breeze carrying the scent of damp earth and blossoms. It took a while to adjust herself to this new surroundings, and soon she took note of the dull throb in her back and the dizziness in her head. felt stiff and sticky, she couldn’t feel her hands anymore. Stretching out her hands, she felt a something soft against her stomach. A quilt, and on top of it was someone’s arm.

The happenings from the previous night came surging back into her mind, and in a flurry, she wobbled back onto her feet and moved away. Sung Gyu lied peacefully on the carpet, sound asleep. But someone had covered them both with a quilt and even had placed pillows under their heads. There wasn’t anyone else in the house, except, of course, his parents. His parents.

Eunji took yet another look at Sung Gyu b her feet and groaned. . They must have seen them passed out on the floor, with windows wide open and surrounded by empty wrappers, cans and bottles. They must have gotten a completely different idea about it.

She paced across the living room, weighing her options. She stinked, her hair was a mess, her make-up was smudged; so, taking a taxi let alone public transport, was out of question. She could ask Woohyun to come pick her up, which, she was certain, would do any moment now, and if that was the case, she would have to change or he would catch the reek of alcohol on her, take in her disheveled appearance, and immediately assume something unspeakable. The bottom line was that she would have to speak to Sung Gyu’s mother at any case, and ask for a change of clothes.

Right. She’d only ask for a change of clothes, a towel, toiletries, underwear, sanitary products-,

No, there were too many things, way too many things. And as much as she wanted to have a clean pair of knickers and a shower, it would still be asking too much, and she’d eventually imply something else.

Her head felt like she’d been stomped on by a heard of elephants. Her back felt like she’d been run over by a train. Why did she have to fall asleep on the bloody floor-

“Eunji” A soft, kind voice called from behind her, and Eunji jumped, before she turned to face Sung Gyu’s mother standing at the doorway, a kind smile on her face. She took one lone glance at her sleeping son on the floor, and back at her. “Did you sleep well?” She asked, and Eunji was rendered speechless. How was she supposed to answer that question? When Eunji had seemingly slept with her son?

“Uh, um…”

“Come, I’ll give you a change of clothes, you can have a shower. Woohyun Goon said he was on his way”

“Oh” Eunji shifted on her feet uncomfortably, took one last glance at her boss, and followed his mother up the stairs.

After a cold shower and having heaved her insides out into the toilet bowl, a freshened up Eunji in slightly-too-big jeans and a shirt approached the kitchen, happy that they had a spare pare of knickers, and also that Sung Gyu’s mother had made breakfast for her.

She felt so guilty after having convinced Sung Gyu to get drunk and pass out in the living room, to be sitting in the kitchen like this. She should be sent home, with a kick on her bum, possibly, or straight to the guillotine where she’d repent all her ill doings in her final moments, not be fed home-made food and bi given fresh clothes to dress in? Eunji was soon a prisoner of her own thoughts.

“Sit down, Eunji dear” Said Sung Gyu’s mother gently as she placed a tray of steaming hot bowls before her. There were two identical bowls, one of which she covered up and set aside. Eunji stared down at the content and looked up with a face full of guilt. “Mrs. Kim, you didn’t have to-,”

“Oh it’s no trouble” She dismissed with a shrug and placed a few bowls of side dishes as well. She’s made them hang-over soup, piping hot and delicious which had already made her feel ravenous, but she couldn’t help feeling like she was taking advantage of her. Eunji had to tell the truth. Whatever misunderstanding they might have, she had to clear them out.

“Mrs. Kim” Eunji said and cleared . “About last night-,”

“Oh I’ve been meaning to ask about that too” Said Sung Gyu’s mother casually. She turned to face Eunji, and no matter how kind she looked, Eunji couldn’t help feel slightly intimidated. “Eunji-ah…is something going on between Sung Gyu and you?”

Eunji responded quickly, she was well-prepared to answer this question anyway. In fact, she had practiced her speech while she was in the shower.

“No, of course not!” She said a little loudly that it startled the old lady. Eunji quickly backtracked. That was too forward that it seemed almost unreal. She cleared . “I mean, I would never do anything like that. We’re just very close friends…” And she added in an afterthought, “Sometimes he relies on me when things get hard. That’s what happened last night”

“He didn’t get drunk and take…advantage of you, did he?” Sung Gyu’s mother asked blatantly, and thankfully, Eunji was prepared for this question to. Her mind immediately wandered off to when Sung Gyu tried to kiss her, but it was small, innocent, almost nothing. It was no way taking advantage of someone. And it was certain that Sung Gyu’s mother was worried about another Yoora happening.

“No, not at all” Eunji smiled. “And I wasn’t very drunk…though he was…” She contemplated for a second, and muttered; “He was unhappy…about so many things. And he needed someone to vent it out on…a friend”

A moment of silence passed, and finally, she heard his mother take a long breath. “I understand”

Eunji nodded, and took a few sips of the warm soup. The thick, warm sensation ran down and it immediately made her head feel lighter. After a few gulps, she began to stir the broth distractedly. Her mind was everywhere, particularly on the person passed out on the living room carpet, squeaking like a chipmunk in his sleep.

“Sung Gyu’s always had bad experiences with relationships” Sung Gyu’s mother said all of a sudden, gaining Eunji’s attention. She was tugging at a kitchen towel as she spoke. “There were two other back in middle school, and high school. But I think the Sung Jae’s mother got him the worst”

“Oh” It was kind of odd hearing that he had a girlfriend back in middle school. When Eunji was in middle school, she wore a skirt too long and pushed other boys into pits of dirt. She supposed he had been quite attractive back then as well.

“I’m just worried about him. He…suffers a lot on his own. When Yoora left, it really broke him. He searched for her everywhere, nearly gave up on college, and we had to do everything to convince him to graduate before everything…” Sung Gyu’s mother sniffed as if in remorse. “And then, on his graduation day, Sung Jae happened…I’m sure it took a big part of him. He wanted to give the baby away, we prepared everything, then all of a sudden he decided he was going to raise him. We didn’t know what got into him, but he did a pretty good job at that” A moment of silence. “I think…I think the whole reason why he decided to keep him was that it gave him hope…that this girl would come back. You know, one day, asking for the baby. His biggest dream was making a family with her. But it was crushed, you see. And now he refuses to make a family with anyone”

“Oh” Eunji said yet again, but her heart was breaking inside. A part of her pitied him, another part of her empathized with him, and this cruel, rational bit of her was resenting Yoora and her selfish ways. Eunji didn’t know what exactly happened back then. Who Sung Gyu was, or who Yoora was, or how the two of them were back then. Yet she was certain of one thing, and that was that as much as Yoora hurt him, he would have still had her back. It broke her heart, it made her feel envious to some extent, but that probably was the truth. Because Sung Gyu was a man like that. And perhaps, it was the reason why he refused to let her back in her life. All because he was afraid she’d leave him again.

“I don’t like that girl…though she was Sung Jae’s mother” Sung Gyu’s mother carried on. “She treated Sung gyu in a way that he didn’t deserve. As if he was completely at fault. I understand how Sung Gyu must feel about making a family. He was brought up in a conservative background, both his parents are happily married and together. He probably doesn’t want to have it differently. Or he’s just afraid to love another woman, thinking that the same would happen again” His mother sighed, almost in defeat. “In any case…I want him to be happy. Whatever he would do. I hope he’d decide wisely, and while he would, I hope he would rely on you, or Woohyun goon. He always told me that he trusted you two the most…” She trailed off, and Eunji finally raised her eyes to meet hers.

“Can you do that, Eunji-ah? Can you look out for my son?”

Eunji thought for a bit, and decided that her budding feelings for this particular person were inconsequential comparing to the task she was given now. Eunji would protect Sung Gyu. Eunji would protect him at all costs.

She nodded at his mother, and smiled. “Yes, I would, Ommo-ni”

*

When Sung Gyu woke up that morning, it was way past the time which they classified as morning, and his head felt like he’d been stomped on. The warmth of the sun in the living room had made him all warm and sticky, his shirt clung onto him like a second skin. He squirmed under the quilt, trying to distinguish his whereabouts, trying to recall events from the other night, and finally gave up. All he could remember was sitting down in the sofa with the baby-sitter, the rest of it was history.

He finally sat up with an unbearable throbbing in his back, having slept on the floor. His feet were giving away when he stood up, yet he managed the flight up the stairs while hanging onto the railing for his dear life, just in time to dash into the bathroom to throw-up.

A long, cold shower helped him with both the sticky sweat and the pain in his head. When he stepped out from the bathroom, freshened up and feeling much better, he caught the sight of his face on the passing mirror. To put things simply, he looked like . Putting things into perspective; he still looked like . Sung Gyu shrugged and walked away. He checked on his phone, which he found thrown about in the living room for any notifications and found only measly one from Howon, reminding him to do some report or the other. He threw it back onto the sofa, irritated, and stomped off to the kitchen. He was already in a sour mood as it happens. The thing is, he couldn’t remember anything, no matter how much he tried to. He was sure he was with Eunji the other night. She was in a pretty red dress. She was all fidgety and embarrassed the whole time. Then they went grocery shopping, they went to the living room, had a few drinks…and then blank. Completely and utterly blank. As if he had had amnesia.

When he walked into the kitchen he found a bowl of soup covered with a plate, a note by his mother kept on top of it. “Out with your father. Heat the soup” It said.

Reluctantly, he heaved the bowl, stuffed it in the microwave and waited sixty seconds while it came up to a hot, bobbling goodness. He was about to take it out from the oven when he heard the familiar padding of feet against the marble, and his heart fell through the floor. Last night, the first time he lost his patience on his son, just for a meekly little thing. He felt terrible. He felt like the worse father in the world.

He abandoned the soup for a moment and slipped into a kitchen stool, watching his son as he diligently retrieved bread and other condiments from the fridge, and brought them to the island. He hadn’t even noticed his father sitting there, so concentrated on the task in hand.

So Sung gyu called out his name. “Sung Jae-ah”

Sung Jae placed the jar of hazel-nut chocolate on the counter, and turned to him “Appa!”

Sung Gyu smiled, slid off the stool, and walked to his son, He then heaved him up and sat down again with the boy in his lap. He hugged her from behind, burying his face in his hair, putting up with his overwhelming emotions the best way he could. “Appa is sorry” He said.

Sung Jae turned around and put both his hands around his father’s neck. “Sung Jae is sorry too” He said, and snuggled even closer. “I won’t make appa mad again”

Sung gyu sniffed, and closed his eyes. “Appa won’t get mad at Sung Jae either”

“Okay” Sung Jae said in a cheerful voice and moved away. “And I don’t want a mummy either. Mums don’t work as detectives, mums can’t play video games, mums don’t buy you drones. Only dads do that. Dads are much cooler”

“Sung Jae” Sung Gyu muttered, obviously worried by his words. He wasn’t sure which part of him worried him, but he really didn’t like the sound of it.

Sung jae hopped of his lap and climbed onto the stool next to his before concentrating on spreading chocolate on his bread. “Besides, we have baby-sitter…we can’t have a babysitter if we have a mum, and she will be unemployed”

Sung Gyu raised his brows at his clever use of words. “Sung Jae, how do you know the word unemployed?”

Sung Jae turned to Sung Gyu, and gave him a weird, cheeky smile. “Because I’m smart”

“Right” Sung Gyu nodded with a chuckle.

And he was. They were better off without a mum. Or how else could they utilize the perfectly good babysitter they had? They didn’t want her, like said, unemployed, now, did they?

Hi!

Apologies for the exceedingly long chapter. I had a writer's block on this story which had now, thankfully, pased. I hope you will enjoy. ^^

On a side not, the drama in this story has just started. The coming chapters will be more or less interconnected, and I'll mae up a dramatic storyline as nicely as possible.

Loads of love!

Achini.