*

When he received the message of Hayoung arrival earlier that morning, Sung Gyu really thought that it was going to be an incredibly good day. Eunji’s arrival, though it made him mad in the beginning, made it all the better because it was always fun to have her around. But then, but then of all the terrible things that could have happened to ruin this wonderful day (House fire, terrorist attack, Eunji getting her periods etc.) Yoora just had turn up and do this to him.

He was tired. So much so that the words couldn’t explain. It was not the exhaustion running in his limbs and his bones, nor was what he’d feel after a long day of work or a parent-teacher meeting at Sung Jae’s school. It was that mental instability, how you couldn’t keep your mind straight after having it rigged and snapped open much too often. It was hurting his head, like a heard of elephants had just stomped over him. And there was nothing which could make him better either. Not a scoop of ice cream or a warm cup of black coffee. No. All he needed right now was for everything to stop.

He was tired of fighting with Yoora. Every time they would argue, which had been happening for quite some time, ever since she decided to make her return the year before last, it was always and always the very same thing. Yoora only had the same claims to make, imagining that it made him feel overly guilty. She’d start up with how she had to endure the pregnancy all by herself for nine months and then the embarrassment and criticism she received for have gotten a child way too early in her age, without a known, responsible father at that, and how her parents had to handle all her expenses while she couldn’t bring herself to move around the house let alone find an income to fund herself. Sung Gyu would always give the same arguments in return. He’d have taken the responsibility if she had come to him, and yes, he would have married her and become the father to her child which he truly was, and all of the said problems and criticism would have dissipated in the wind; but no, Yoora would only let it all go through deaf ears. She really didn’t care. She didn’t care about the fact that she had left him with a child, hopelessly, without even telling him anything. She didn’t care about the fact that she had put him through similar pain. She didn’t care that she had neglected her one-month old baby and that had lasted for seven whole years. If it hadn’t been for him and his parents, nobody will know of little Sung Jae’s whereabouts. He wouldn’t even be here for them to argue about. Sung Gyu would have lived his life his own way, and would never have crossed path with her. Life would have also been a lot easier.

The moment Sung jae came in to his hands eight years ago, Sung Gyu had considered one too many things. He had come with only a certificate of birth with a name and the space of the father’s name empty, a letter from Yoora and a soft blue duvet which she claimed was his favorite. Sung Gyu had no clue of what to do next. He saw the whole life he had built ahead of him crumbling down right before his eyes. He would no longer be entitled to anything that he strived to achieve. He could no longer fall in love with another woman, get married and build a family of his own. Instead, thrown in his hands was a month old baby who was only claimed to be his by words. What on earth could he do next?

The DNA reports came out positive. Little Sung Jae was indeed his little boy. Twenty-four-year-old Sung Gyu had looked high and low of what he could do with a baby he was not willing to raise. He could abandon him, just like the baby’s own mother did. Wrap him in his favorite duvet, write a letter, attach it to his documents and leave him at the foot of the church. Or he could give him off to the orphanage. Wasn’t there plenty of kids living happily until they get picked out by people who promised to give them affection and love? Little Sung Jae could be one of them. And that way, he could even get two parents instead of one. Sung Gyu could also sell him to foreign couples who come in searching for a child to make their own. He had heard so many stories about that kind of kids, kids who got adopted by couples from all over the world and spent happy, fulfilling lives. But after all of that thinking, Sung Gyu decided against them all. And no, it wasn’t that sense of goodwill and social responsibility. It was because he knew that, one day, he would be older and living that life he had always desired. He would have a proper job, a wife and children he immensely loved. But the fact that he had abandoned his own child to achieve all the things of his desires would gnaw at him and eventually swallow him completely, haunting him for the rest of his life. Was that the fate he wished for his own little baby to have? An innocent little life who had done nothing wrong to deserve such ill treatment, all because his young, naïve and senseless parents did one fateful mistake? Sung Gyu, despite himself had held baby Sung jae numerous times in his arms. He had felt that little weight in them, that soft warmth, the tenderness of his skin, how his tiny eyes resembled his own and how he comfortably fell asleep against his chest with not a single idea that his only care giver was considering of pushing him away. And all that tiny details of love, the only remaining evidence of everything that Sung gyu had felt for Yoora had effortlessly stolen his heart in days, just like Sung Jae’s mother did all these years ago. Suddenly his future didn’t matter anymore. Nor his desires, his dreams, the whole life he had built for himself in the years to come. In that very moment when he kissed softly on the tuft of hair peeking out the blanket and breathed in his scent, there was only one thought wandering in his mind. ‘Mine’ He had thought, and felt those tiny fingertips with his own. ‘He is mine’.

The thing that Sung gyu couldn’t understand was why Yoora couldn’t have thought of the child in this way. Why she couldn’t put a weeny bit of faith on him and let the reality of her life be chosen over her desires and dreams. It takes two to make a miracle of a baby, not one. It wasn’t fair for her to blame him solely and abandon the weight only on him. She could have realized that it was difficult for him the same way that it was for her. Sung Gyu was the father. He had no warmth in his heart to match that of a mother, he had no milk in his s to feed. His voice was not to sing lullabies and put a baby to sleep. The only thing that he could be for a baby was a father, and that was never enough.

It filled him with resentment, eventually. The sleepless nights and the pain in his heart every time the baby would cry, leaving him hopeless that he had no ability to feed. Buying formula for him when what he really strived for was to be fed by his mother, and when he couldn’t be there for him day and night because he had to make a living to raise the child. All of this grew and built a wall, unbreakable, to keep her away from him and the child at all costs. He didn’t want Yoora to come back for him, come back for the baby whom she had put through so much of pain, he didn’t want her to return and tell him that she still deserved to be his mother. The fact that she had given birth to him, was that enough for her to be labeled as a mother? The only thing Sung gyu was thankful to her was for giving birth to a healthy little baby. Yoora had consecutively neglected all of Sung Jae’s vaccines, had not once taken him for the regular check-ups and had also neglected him of feeding. Sung Jae was underweight, malnourished and severely unloved when he came into Sung Gyu’s arms, and he, in turn had to make up for all the things that Sung Jae lost. After all of that, did Yoora still hold the right to call herself a mother?

It was not, after all, about the fear of her taking him away from him. It was hatred, resentment, all of which he had grown against her for doing all that to his son.

But Sung Gyu wasn’t cruel. Not to that point. He didn’t want to be another Yoora, because that’s how he had made himself to be after the responsibility of a father came to him. He didn’t want to be a bad example to his little boy. In fact, he wanted for Sung Jae to dislike his mother in his own ways. He wanted him to realize things. And so, for this reason Sung gyu never took their arguments beyond the point where they should. Because of this, he was tired. He was tired after having held back for too long.

Yet when Eunji, Sung Jae, his cousin and her daughter returned to his quiet and empty house that evening, the void Yoora left him with, filled of so much of hatred and resentment, and when their loud and cheery voices filled the wide confines of the apartment, all of that which made him weary and exhausted simply washed away. There was nothing more pleasurable than hearing his son’s voice echoing in his house, nothing made him happier than all that loud voices and bickering which he had indeed truly missed. It made him a lot better when he noticed that his baby sitter was now in a lot better mood than she was before. When Eunji lifted her head and met his eyes, Sung gyu couldn’t help but give her the warmest smile he could give. Eunji turned away, unsmiling; just the kind of thing he’d expect her to do. But he was happy, happy that he had her around and keep his son company at all times he couldn’t.

“Appa!” Sung Jae yelled the moment Sung gyu emerged from the kitchen. Despite his exhaustion, Sung Gyu gave his son a smile and crouched down to welcome him home.

“Hey, big guy!”

“We bought you Sundae. Baby sitter said you’d like some” Sung Jae said, holding up the bag in his hand.

“She did?” Sung Gyu mused, widening his eyes in fake surprise. “How kind of her. I must thank her for that”

“And also for giving me a big hug!” the kid added himself.

Sung Jae had obviously loved it. His sparkling doe eyes and the smile he couldn’t fight back, explained it all.

“Oh. She did?” Sung Gyu asked as if he didn’t really witness it himself.

“Yeah” Sung Jae nodded and held his arms up in an exaggerating posture. “She said that she did it because she suddenly realized I’m her favorite little boy in the whole wide world”

Hearing his words, Sung Gyu couldn’t fight his smile, and his heart became warmer, rewinding that scene of her pulling the child into her arms and holding him like he was her whole world. Sung gyu, of course, knew the exact reason why she did that. But he was glad that she had come up with a brilliant excuse for her sudden but kind action.

“Of course! That’s because you’re a great young man” Sung gyu replied.

“But it was nice that she suddenly realized it…” Sung Jae added, and Sung Gyu gave the boy a tousle on his tuft of soft hair. “Ah…it is, but she probably did it for a pay raise” he added under his breath, stood up and gathered his son in his arms. “Come on, let’s get you washed up before dinner”

Nonetheless, when Sung gyu passed Eunji as he crossed the hallway on his way to Sung Jae’s room, Eunji’s face had darkened again. What happened to all that cheeriness? What wrong did he do now?

*

“Rude, arrogant, so full of himself” Eunji listed down under her breath, all the reasons why she hated him and why she should come to this rash decision. Yes. She had come to a final decision after all of that happened during the span of this day. Or maybe even the past year. She couldn’t stand it any longer. Her boss really hated her, and not only that. He was doing everything to climb up her nerves. But she couldn’t even blame him for that, because, after all, it was all her fault. Eunji had, though involuntarily made his life even more miserable. She has done nothing good to him. She messes thing up. She turns up at his place when she likes to. She always asks for a pay raise to the extent that he had now come to believe that all the good things she did; she did so with the ulterior motive was raising her salary. He probably couldn’t stand her. Hell, she was almost sure Sung gyu wished each and every day that her despicable and severely distorted face would never appear on his door step again. And if that’s what he intended to imply by all the mean things he did to her, then that’s what he’s going to get.

He was doing that ‘Best dad in the whole world’ act all over again. First he said that Eunji should stay for dinner when she cleaned the whole kitchen and got prepared to leave. And then when Hayoung said that she would make them a nice Indian curry dinner which she was so good at making, Sung Gyu had added with a huge fake smile; “And Eunji can make the best dessert!”

Why couldn’t he just say that he was craving for her incredibly good dessert making instead of making it sound like he actually appreciated it? (Which, in reality, he never did?)

Kim Sung gyu was despicable. He really could pull off a nice and kind act when he could and please everyone when in reality he was a wolf under a sheep skin. He had so effortlessly belittled her. He had made her feel stupid and ashamed. He had made such exaggerating acts to show the rest of the world that he actually treated her kindly despite her being so stupid and unbearable. Why couldn’t he just straight up come and tell her that he was tired of her?

Of course, he couldn’t. Because he had said it himself. He couldn’t afford to lose the thirtieth baby sitter that he hired.

And that’s exactly the reason why she should leave.

At the moment, however, she was in no position to leave. When Eunji had tried to, Sung gyu had insisted that she stayed for dinner. Sooner though, he had revealed why he did. Sung gyu still had lots of errands left for her to run. For an instance, go downstairs with Hayoung and help her by things for dinner, and also for dessert.

“Unnie” Hayoung called as they looked through a line of variety of milk cartons. “Do you think we can use butter instead of ghee? I don’t think they have those here”

Thank god Hayoung was such a nice person. Judging by the sour mood that Eunji was in now, she was almost too certain that she would snap at almost anything. And nor did she have any idea what ghee was.

“Um, I think we can” Eunji said as if she actually knew what it meant. “Do we need any milk?”

Hayoung looked at the cartons of milk thoughtfully. “I don’t need any. You might, though. For dessert?”

Eunji shrugged and dumped a one-liter carton of milk into the cart. After all, it wasn’t her who was paying.

The two of them shopped on for a while, going through the aisles and picking out the ingredients they thought they might need. It was a good distraction. Doing work was always a good distraction for her. It helped her keep her mind off a certain hateful human being.

“Unnie, unnie…” Hayoung was calling her, and it took her a moment to realize that this has been going on for a while. The two of them were standing by the meat stall, and Hayoung, who had weighed two pounds of pork, was now giving Eunji a rather concerned look.

“Unnie…is everything okay? You looked a little…distant right now”

Hayoung was a kind person. She was reliable, understanding, and nothing about her said that she was anyway related to Kim Sung gyu, and this made Eunji feel a little braver.

“No just…” She started, trailed off for a moment, and gave into her inner thoughts anyway. “I was considering finding Sung Gyu-ssi a new baby sitter, actually”

“Hm?” Eunji frowned. “Why, is it getting in the way of your day job?”

“No not really” Eunji sighed, not mentioning that it was indeed her day-job, and night job, and just the job in general. “It’s just that…I don’t know. I adore Sung Jae, he’s a wonderful child. But there are certain things…”

“Ah!” Hayoung mused, interrupting her thoughts. “It’s Sung Gyu Oppa, isn’t it?”

Eunji just blinked as if it was something she didn’t totally understand. “Hm?”

Hayoung laughed at Eunji’s rather fake clueless expression and carefully placed the wrapped meat in the cart. When she looked up, however, her expression had changed from a cheery one to something rather softer, and understanding.

“I think I get what you’re saying,” Hayoung started, and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. “I don’t know what exactly you must have felt…but you see, I’m not saying this because he’s my favorite cousin, but Sung Gyu Oppa really has a way with things…” she sighed, and proceeded to push the trolley while Eunji wordlessly followed, feeling much like the younger one of the two of them. “He has a heap of insecurities. He had his heart broken badly, was left with a kid. It makes sense if he’s trying to distance himself right?”

Eunji thought about it for a while, and she immediately remembered what Woohyun said the last Christmas while they were driving back from the party. Sung gyu, despite himself, was emotionally weak. One push, and he’s liable to crumble into pieces. Maybe becoming a single father against his own will has done it to him, maybe having to face something entirely new and challenging had made him weaker. Whatever it was, Eunji felt for him. She did whatever she could and within her capabilities. What really troubled her was that he was consecutively rude and unappreciative. He just seems like he’s unable to form any kind of friendship without resentment. And there, Eunji was trying to help, even though she failed time and time. Still was it fair for him to treat her this way? She was livid. And she was tired of putting herself ahead of everything. She needed to quit.

“Nonetheless” Hayoung went on, a kind, meaningful look was glistening in her eyes as she spoke. “he’s scared of many things, and one is to show that he really cares. He might not really look like it, but he always does…he cares a lot”

Eunji wasn’t convinced. Not even after they had returned to the condominium and after she had left the cousins in the kitchen to deal with the dinner. For hours, Eunji remained in her quiet thoughts, firing away in her mind, things of all sorts which only implied that she was making the right choice. If the events of the day didn’t prove it to her already, everything that happened throughout their companionship explained sound and clear. Sung gyu didn’t like her presence in his life. He saw her as nothing but an employee, someone who worked for a wage and she could expect nothing more. Eunji hated that he couldn’t be just welcoming of another friend. True, he might have insecurities, and perhaps he was just frightened to open up. But she’d give anything to be there, to catch him before he’d fall. But cold she ever, if he never allowed her to? The only thing he had given her was his wrath. And she despised herself for feeling like she deserved it.

While the two of them cooked, Eunji remained in the living room with Cheonsa and Sung Jae. The little girl adored her hair; especially her bangs, and enjoyed clipping it back and making her look like she was balding. Eunji didn’t complain. She was the aunt for a one-year-old girl herself and was constantly subjected to similar treatment, and it also helped her think straight. Sung jae was sitting in the sofa, busy playing his games on the TV after getting tired of playing hairdresser. The room was quiet except for the faint sound coming from the TV set, and also the clatter from the kitchen. But if you listened quite closely, you could hear the two of them mumble in hushed voices.

Eunji heard her name being mentioned one too many times.

She couldn’t exactly decipher what they were saying, neither did she care. They could be planning her murder and hiding her body in the attic for all she cared, and her sadness and hatred just kept growing and growing until she began to feel sick. Maybe it was because she’s been alone for too long. She couldn’t tell. Or maybe it was how Sung gyu was so hot and cold towards her. There were times when he was actually nice to. Those subtle glances and silent messages, all the times he’d be just tremendously watchful of her had made her feel comfort of a father uncountable times. But then his cruel and cold remarks would slap her back across her face, sending her tumbling down to wear she always was, Eunji was tired of being in that position. It only made her frail heart weaker.

When dinner was finally prepared, Sung Gyu came into the living room wearing a huge fatherly smile, announcing that dinner was ready. He glanced at her for a split second, but for her it felt like an eternity. Long and vary, like he was expecting her to combust any moment. But when he smiled and just moved away, everything simply worsened for her. He just didn’t care. Or he’d have noticed that tearful glint in her eyes.

Eunji decided that Indian curry dinner was not really her favorite. To begin with, the curry was a bit too thick for her taste. And she didn’t fancy the heap of oil in it. Second off, the sweetness in traditional Korean dishes was missing. Brown was quite an odd color to have for dinner.

Nonetheless, she carried on eating. She ate as much as she possibly could. It was the only way she could evade the never ending conversations.

At one point, however, when Eunji raised her head from her plate, Sung gyu was watching her, and he was smiling.

“Do you enjoy Indian that much, Miss Jung?” he asked.

There it was again. The fatherly smile. The sparkle in his eyes. Him being so nice to her. Treating her like a child. Wasn’t it already a bit too much? What was he trying to prove anyway? Eunji was sure he discussed all the things possible about her in hushed whispers with his cousin. Was his kindly acting just a big part of some sort of an elaborate scheme?

“It’s okay” Eunji grumbled, not really meeting his eyes and continued eating. Sung Jae was watching their exchange quietly, and just as Eunji had finished her plate, Sung Jae jumped up and exclaimed that he’d carry her dish.

“B-but why?” Eunji muttered, holding her plate securely, like it was her love child.

“Because” Sung Jae started, carefully choosing his words as he spoke. He met his father’s eyes for a moment then, and said in a small voice, “Because you’re my favorite baby sitter in the whole wide world”

There. She almost felt tears in her eyes. She was upset about her decision to leave. There was something massive holding her back, and it was none other than the fondness she had grown for this little boy.

With a smile, Eunji let go of her plate, and finally stood up. “Thank you for the dinner”

Sung Gyu was staring up at her, seeming stunned. “You’re done already?”

Eunji still refused to meet his eyes. “I’m full. Is there anything you need, boss?”

There was silence, and Eunji still didn’t meet his eyes. His quietness really meant something, like he had realized there was something bothering her. If he had, it was all good. Maybe he’d finally understand all his mistakes. But Eunji didn’t put so much expectations. Sung Gyu was unreasonably complicated.

“N-no…” he finally said.

“I feel we shouldn’t really have dessert, don’t you think, Unnie?” Hayoung said as Eunji started to gather the plates.

“I guess not?” Eunji said, feeling relieved. It only meant that she could go home soon. And the next day, she’d come back with a letter of resignation, and everything else that she owed.

“Also, I think we should be going” Hayoung went on as Eunji carried the dirty dishes to the washer. “The weather isn’t the best tonight. There’s an impending storm”

Hayoung’s been keeping up with the weather forecast like the reuter all the way up the elevator from the Plaza’s market and kept reminding Eunji that there was going to be a heavy downpour soon as if it was going to be of any consolation to her. Eunji was uncertain of why she would even do that, and while being distracted by the whole ‘leaving-work’ fiasco, it hardly even mattered to her.

Up until now when it suddenly occurred to her that she hadn’t transport to return home except for the bus and the train which she wasn’t allowed to take after nine PM.

So she returned to the dining table from the kitchen after having ridden of the gloves and then off to the hallway without so much as a single word. Then she simply reached for her jacket and her bag and prepared to go home.

But then before she could even make herself to wrench open the door, a loud howling erupted from the corridor. It was Moonsoo, she could tell. She could recognize his voice from anywhere, especially when he was stinking drunk, screaming out his philosophical bull at his brother about life and love and everything else possible. She froze in the spot, not being brave enough to walk that corridor while his presence was looming outside the door. And then just as if on cue, she could hear footsteps behind her. Soon, Sung gyu was there, leaning against the doorway and eyebrows raised, looking slightly amused.

“What’s with you, today, Miss Jung? Are you throwing a tantrum?”

Eunji sighed and outright ignoring him, she took a look at her watch. It was way past eight already. It takes longer than two hours to Ansan from here, depending on the traffic, and if a storm was to begin now, the traffic would only worsen. Eunmi would panic even if she would call her sister and ask her to calm her horses. She would send an entire search team and sweep the town in search of her sister’s human remains. She hadn’t time for her boss and his useless antics. After all, he had her resignation letter impending tomorrow. Did he really think his amusement would make things any better?

“Nothin’s fair in love and war Hyung!” Yelled Moonsoo from a terrifying proximity to the front door that Eunji could swear that the walls rattled. Sung Gyu was suddenly alert then, like a watch dog. He took a curious look at his front door as if it would burst open any minute and Moon Soo would invite himself in to enthrall everybody with his drunken philosophy on life.

“Is that Myung Soo’s brother?” He asked. Eunji just shrugged in response.

“Wait. I’d call Woohyun first-,”

“He isn’t coming” Eunji said, her voice low and weary. She was already giving up. “Look, I can go”

“Miss Jung” Sung Gyu started, a warning note in his voice. “That guy’s outside the door. Let me drop you off at least”

Eunji rolled her eyes. “That isn’t necessary” She said and reached for the door. But Sung Gyu acted quickly and said, “Wait to see Hayoung off, Eunji. And then I’ll drive you home myself”

“No” Eunji said yet again, and reached for the door once more. But then she was stopped by Sung Gyu’s exaggeratingly loud voice, this time, yelling over on the telephone. Eunji was this close to exploding. First, Sung Gyu complained of her uninvited arrivals. Then he was giving her the cold shoulder. All of a sudden an unexpected affection popped out of nowhere. What was he, honestly? Why was he suddenly trying to be the saint?

“Yeah, yeah sure, why not?” Sung Gyu was saying, one arm propped up against the door frame while holding the phone as the other rested firmly on his waist. “That shouldn’t be a problem at all, Woohyun, we have plenty of room”

Plenty of room? What on earth was he planning to do to her?

Eunji patiently waited for him to end the telephone conversation, and the moment he slipped the phone back into his jean pocket, Eunji went on to open the door.

“The storm’s hit pretty bad in Ansan it seems” Sung gyu interrupted her thoughts of escapade. “There’s been a power cut and all the public transport is out of work” he raised his brows. “Do you still think you can make it home?”

Eunji quietly weighed her options, as if she’d been left with many. Going home in this weather was completely out of question. Although Eunji wasn’t certain how exactly the conditions were, she was quite certain that Sung gyu wouldn’t really put up a show if it wasn’t that serious. After all, he wanted her out of his hair, and so if he was trying so hard to keep her from going out in a storm he simply could not be making it all up.

“W-well…I’ll take a taxi” Eunji said, hating to give in so easily for whatever he had planned.

“The roads are flooded” Sung gyu said.

“It’s fine!” Eunji snapped. “I can take care of myself, okay?”

Sung gyu sighed, and seeming quite frustrated himself, he dropped both his hands in defeat. “Look. Woohyun just asked me if I could let you spend the night here because the weather is pretty bad there. I said yes. So you got to listen to me whether you like it or not”

“B-but-?”

“No buts Eunji” Sung gyu said sternly and pointed an accusing finger at her direction as if he was pushing around a hormonal teenaged problem girl. “Now come back here. Don’t step out of that door, the lunatic is probably still out there” with that, sung gyu turned around and made his way back into the kitchen, leaving her behind with her mental breakdown.

Just as if on cue, then, Moon Soo yelled out in that terrifying closeness to the front door; “I get it Hyung, but to be brave is to love without conditions!”

Eunji could only sigh in response. She couldn’t understand why, of all the days, the bad things chose to happen on this particular day and of all the people, they chose to happen to her. Tonight was indeed going to be a very long night.

“Thank you for everything” Sung gyu whispered to Hayoung as he held her in a long, warm embrace, secretly wishing he could never let go. It has been indeed a pleasant day, and having her around had only made things a lot better. Words couldn’t explain how grateful he was to have her around, and the only way to pay her his gratitude was to hold her close and et her feel all the warmth in his heart, the warmth he was willing to give her.

“Hey, you’re going to be find oh mighty soldier” Hayoung whispered back and patted on his arm affectionately. “And when I come back next time, I expect to see a beautiful wife, and a little baby girl. How about that?”

“Ehey” Sung Gyu rolled his eyes and pulled away. “You take care of yourself, okay?”

Hayoung gave her cousin a long look, full of pride and adoration. All the things she felt for him and never could explain in words. “You too, big guy” She replied.

Since the weather had only worsened, Sung Gyu had just personally called for a taxi, offering to pay for it himself and asked the two of them to stay over at his parents for the day. Hayoung didn’t, and also couldn’t protest. After all, little Cheonsa needed a good rest before her long travel the next day, Hayoung needed it the most herself. Sung Gyu’s parents had enough room in their house and they’re always welcoming to be of help whenever needed. For Sung Gyu too, to not let them off in terrible weather conditions, it was a great relief.

“Kids?” Sung Gyu called out afterwards, searching for the two young ones, only to find them in the hallway, Sung Jae already helping his baby cousin into her jacket. The two of them had minimal conversations. Cheonsa was deaf, Sung jae had no knowledge in sign language. Even still, the two of them got along perfectly well, as if verbal communication wasn’t even a necessity. It made him wonder, just watching them, how easy life would have been if things were this so simple like it was for these young children. They needed no words to communicate their love for each other. The look of warmth and affection in their eyes, the simple gestures of love was more than enough. If life was just simpler, he’d only be happier than he’d ever be.

“Ready?” Hayoung mumbled, making Sung gyu gasp and step away. The two of them looked at the children and their quiet exchange. Hayoung gave Sung Gyu a squeeze on his arm. “I love Sung Jae so much” She said, her eyes unmoving from his boy. The words, themselves were able to bring a smile upon his lips. A brilliant smile of pride. “I love him too”

After having sent Hayoung and Cheonsa off to his parents, Sung Gyu returned to the condominium; weary, exhausted and in an excessive need of sleep. He had no idea how bad the weather was (Since they had no windows) until he witnessed the destructive rain falling viciously outside. It didn’t seem like the kind of a storm that Eunji would survive by herself. He was almost too sure that she’d get lost on the road with her poor sense of direction. He was thinking of the worst case scenarios; like her drowning herself in a puddle or getting swept off her feet by the wind. As amusing as these thoughts were in his imagination, they didn’t seem very appealing in a practical situation. And also, getting murdered in the hands of his best friend wasn’t a choice. He found Eunji in the kitchen, playing on her phone, wearing the kind of a face of a person whose family and the entire generation had been displaced by the storm outside. It was so heart breaking that Sung Gyu almost felt pity for her. He went into the kitchen and began to go through the cupboards, looking for an extra mug to pour her a cup pf coffee.

“You can sleep in Sung Jae’s room” Sung gyu said as he went from cupboard to cupboard, wondering where on earth he had thrown those extra mugs in to. “I also might have some clothes Jieun had left behind from last time she stayed”

“Hrrm” Eunji groaned, her eyes still focused on her phone. They were shining in the bright illuminance of the phone, and were reflecting its content in a flash. Nonetheless, Eunji didn’t seem much like herself anymore. She seemed exhausted, sleepy, worn out. She looked much like a sock that had been worn on a stinky foot beyond two days.

Sung gyu sighed, produced a blue and white striped mug from the drawer which had a picture of a cat singing ‘Good morning’, and asked; “Would you like a cup of coffee?”

The sound of Eunji’s chair scraping echoed in the quiet condominium. She still refused to meet his eyes, but at least she seemed to have heard him speak.

“Can I please go to bed, boss?” She asked in a small voice.

Sung Gyu shrugged, and tried to give her a smile. “Sure, come on”

Eunji was soon handed a rather ridiculous looking red and white tracksuit combo, and also making her face red, a small bag which seemed to carry underwear. Sung Gyu didn’t seem a least bit affected by it as if he handed women clothes and underwear on a regular basis. He only seemed bored as he watched her from the doorway, leaning lazily against the wall, waiting for her response.

“Do you need anything else?”

Eunji frowned. “A towel”

“Ah…” Sung Gyu nodded and disappeared into the room. Eunji just awkwardly remained by the doorway, hugging the clothes against her chest like her lifeline, and just as she was making the decision to not to have a bath but just change and go to sleep, Sung Jae happened to skip his way out of his room in his Totoro pajamas and a million-dollar smile.

“Hey baby sitter” He greeted with a hand held up in air. “It’s so cool you’re staying over. We could have had a slumber party!”

“Ugh...” Eunji hesitated and took a vary step back, greatly stunned by his enthusiasm for something Eunji was sure he didn’t even understand.

“But Appa said I would sleep in his bed” Sung Jae carried on, obvious disappointment on his face, twisting his lips and frowning and everything. But then his expression changed just as fast as it came, into a rather cheery, mischievous one. “Good night! And just don’t wet on my bed”

Eunji was disturbed, greatly so that she couldn’t even respond as she watched the little boy skip his way into his father’s room. She just couldn’t wonder it herself, what on earth had he been teaching this child?

“Um, miss Jung?” Speaking of the devil, Sung Gyu was again standing by the doorway, looking a bit awkward, carrying a fluffy white towel in his hand. “You can just use my bathroom” he said.

“O-oh…” Eunji nodded, and gulped hard. His bathroom. His bathroom filled of men’s cosmetic products, men’s shower gel, men’s dirty clothes and men’s body odor. As if her night couldn’t get any worse. In a way she was glad she had just made up her mind to leave this place. After all of these, however was she ever going to face him without seeing him through the very eyes that she witnessed his personal bathroom?

“Uh…okay” She mumbled in a tiny voice, and in an inhumane speed, she slipped under Sung Gyu’s extended arm, not failing to catch that body odor she was thinking about just a while ago (which was actually kind of breezy and nice, totally unexpected from a man who’s been in the same clothes all day) and also not failing to catch her heart off guard, beating so wildly than it has ever had.

Sung gyu was drowned in his own thoughts, sitting among the quiet shadows in the kitchen, his mug of coffee running cold between his palms and eyes staring at nothingness, as if the silence could ever provide him the answers.

They say that once you fall in love with somebody, you could never really move on completely, because falling in love was to give them a piece of your heart, which they take along with them, leaving you hurt in a way that words couldn’t explain. Sung gyu first fell in love with Yoora when he was performing at a gig, fresh out of high school and earning for his university tuition, also finally spreading his wings, waiting in crossroads, wondering what he wanted to be. At that time, falling in love with her seemed to be the most perfect choice. There wasn’t even a choice. The moment she walked into the bar, her thick dark hair fallen gracefully on her shoulders, her pale skin a striking contrast to the red she wore and the endless youthful glimmer in her eyes. She took his breath away. It was not only how beautiful she truly was. It was the very existence of her. The significance of her very presence, how she carried herself, her feet lighter than the wind, waiting for her wings to grow and fly away. Yoora was screaming of liberty, she was the epitome of youthfulness, and when she walked into his life like a raging whirlwind, everything changed. She left a massive scar on his heart, a wound that would never heal. The truth was that he never stopped loving her. Not even if she walked away, leaving him broken, hopeless and miserable; he just never could stop himself from loving her.

Tonight, while he was looking through his closet, searching for the clothes his sister had left behind, Sung Gyu came across something which he never wanted to unearth. He wasn’t sure how it got there, but he vaguely remembered how he got it into his hands. A small music box. It was so old that the music it made was only a miserable croak of a dying musician, but it played ‘over the rainbow’ when you twisted the knob, a lonely sad crackle, breaking in odd places. He still loved it. Immensely. All for the memories it carried. Inside, he remembered up to this date because he put it in there, was a small platinum chain with three black pearls placed with an equal space between each other. Yoora got it for him one time when they were in Jeju, a summer they spent together. He wore it at all times they were together, and took it off only in the night, keeping it securely in the music box as if it was his biggest treasure. Everything has changed now, when he’s finally taken it out after all these years. They have parted ways, they have a child, the only evidence of their love which couldn’t last so long. The pearls were still intact, the platinum still shined like it used to, and when he put it on around his neck, the contrast against his pale skin was still the same. But only…but only, it was not a token of love any longer. It was a memory so painful that Sung Gyu could swear it had ripped his heart apart. He could sing and dance and do all that he could to convince himself that times have passed and things have changed; but still, deep down he knew that there’s still one thing which has been left there all this time and unchanged. He still loved her. The love he had for Yoora eight years ago, it still remained intact, just like the chain with three black pearls did, tucked away in a corner of the closet like a forgotten old memory, thrown away from his sight.

He wore it around his neck, just so that he could feel it cold against his warm skin, a familiar feeling from all those years ago. The feeling was still the same. And just like he did back then, his fingers still tugged at the pearls, still tried to balance the chain against his chin, still arranged and rearranged the pearls that they stayed in one line, together. Things might have changed, alright. But certain things, he knew, just could never change.

That’s why he couldn’t bring himself to hate her entirely, although the resentment he had against her for leaving his baby, unloved and uncared for, would never cease. The fact that she once was the whole world for him could never change. The fact that she held his heart and still carried a part of it with her would never change. In a way, it was that tiny ounce of hatred which kept him sane and away from running back into her arms, begging for that love he lost. Sung gyu had lived without love for too long, and maybe, just maybe, it was that love from his youth that he still earned for, if it was the last thing he could wish.

Thoughts are just marvelous things that could submerge you entirely until the surface blurs that he didn’t even notice it when he had company in the shadows in the kitchen, moving around so quietly that she had blended into the surrounding herself. Eunji’s shoulders were hunched, her skin white as chalk beneath her dark mane of hair framing her face. It was almost terrifying but childlike, and it also made him smile.

“Miss Jung” he called out, remaining seated in the shadows, his hand grasping onto the mug even tighter than before. “Is there anything you need?”

“W-water” Eunji mumbled, blankly looking through a cupboard which certainly didn’t hold what she was looking for. “Not cold. Just water”

Her weary small voice caught Sung Gyu’s attention, yet he kept quiet as he reached for the right cupboard and produced a bottle of water for her. When their skin touched, Sung Gyu could feel the warmth emanating from her. It definitely wasn’t…normal; he could even gather the slight tremble in her hands. When he looked up into her face, her lips were quivering, and she was struggling with the cap of the bottle. Eunji was sick.

“Miss Jung” Sung Gyu called as he took the bottle himself and opened it for her. “You don’t seem well, are you alright?”

Eunji tilted her head back and downed as much as water as she seemed to be able to have, and nodded without a word before turning around and slowly making her way through the dark across the hallway, leaving the bottle uncapped and a concerned Sung Gyu behind. All his previous thoughts were soon replaced by worry for her. After all, Eunji didn’t seem like herself all throughout the day, and he had convinced himself that she was only throwing one of her hiss fits. But no, all this time, she’d been sick and he hadn’t even taken note of it.

Sung gyu quickly followed after her, leaving his thoughts and looming shadows of his past behind. He found her near the entrance of Sung Jae’s bedroom, clutching onto the doorframe with her pale, trembling fingers. But the moment he rushed towards her, Eunji tumbled away from his grasp. She had only narrowly made it across the room towards Sung Jae’s bathroom, her feet dragging as painfully every step of the way, and soon she was on her knees before the toilet bowl, heaving out everything that she had had for dinner.

Sung gyu almost ran out of his mind; he couldn’t just figure out what he must do. He so much as ran into the bathroom after her, and held her hair securely behind her as she struggled to breath along with her endless heaving. His other hand went to her back and he gently moved it upwards and down, trying to sooth her pain; his fatherly instincts were kicking in ever so naturally. With each one of her painful heaves, Sung Gyu would mumble; “Ssh…that’s all, that’s all, Eunji, you’d be fine”, and when she was finally climbing up on her feet, Sung Gyu held her close as if she was a child of his own. He helped her clean her face, wiped it with a towel with his own hands, and made sure she was securely brought into the room and was sat down on the bed before he climbed on behind her, took her hair in his hands and gently plaited it. Her hair was so soft to the touch, slipping through his fingers like wind. He was being as careful and gentle as he could, afraid that one hard tug would break her. She was unwell, and Sung Gyu wanted to do everything within his possibility make her feel comfortable, everything he could to bring her back to her usual, darling self; the girl he absolutely adored.

After he was done, he went over to face her. He held her warm cheeks between his palms, examined her eyes, checked her temperature, looked for any signs he should pay more attention to. Eunji had high fever. Her read eyes could barely stay open, and she was swaying in his arms. He held her straight. He needed to know what exactly made her unwell. But then. All before he could even think of what he should do next, Eunji’s cold hands hung onto both of his which still held her face, her eyes fell shut and she began to let out the biggest and the most painful cry he had ever heard to come from a grown woman.

It utter bewilderment, Sung Gyu held tightly onto her shoulders and scanned her face for any sign of discomfort on her reddened eyes. All he could see in them was apathy, regret, and things he couldn’t entirely in the pitch darkness of the room. He cries were like of a deer in a hunting trap. Her voice was so small, but yet he could hear them echo all throughout the silent condominium. She wasn’t even crying like a normal woman her age would do. Not the angry, quiet sobs which meant a lot more than what the crying actually implied. Eunji was crying like a child. A little girl lost in her darkened paths and crossroads; weary, dejected and hopeless. She was crying like someone who wasn’t only hurt in her body but also in her heart. It made Sung Gyu’s heart lose its pace. Her tiny sobs and the glimmer of the tears rolling down her pale cheeks were beckoning him to do something dangerous, impossible. He refrained, nonetheless. Sung gyu had to remind himself more than once, that Jung Eunji wasn’t his own sister, or his own little girl.

“E-Eunji” he stammered, and shook her lightly by her shoulders. “Eunji, does it hurt anywhere?” He knew she was this way because she was obviously hurt. But where did it hurt? How could he stop her from hurting?

The crying paused for a moment. She sobbed loudly, her teary eyes down casted. And then she exploded with a loud cry. “I can’t!”

Sung gyu, unable to respond all due to the lack of thoughts he had right now could only ask. “Why? Why can’t you?” Then it suddenly occurred to him. In panic, his hands quickly reached down to her neck, as if it would ever help. “Jung Eunji, can’t you breathe? Is that it? You can’t breathe?”

“N-no!” Eunji yelled and resumed her crying. “It hurts I can’t!”

“What?” Sung Gyu held his breath. “Where does it hurt? Eunji-,”

“It hurts because I’m leaving!” Eunji suddenly exclaimed, covered her face with both her palms and began to cry even louder.

“Leaving?” Sung gyu repeated incredulously. “No, you’re sick and there’ a storm, you ain’t going anywhere”

“I am leaving this place forever!” Eunji cried out, leaving Sung gyu dumbfounded.

“Forever?” Sung gyu blinked. “Why, where are you going?”

Eunji sobbed and pulled at her fingers angrily, so hard that Sung gyu almost took her hands and checked if the fingers still remained intact.

“I want stop working here” She then mumbled in a tiny voice before she again started to continuously pull at her fingers. Sung Gyu watched her for a moment horrendously, wondering if he was imagining things. He was only brought back to his senses when she began to cry loudly again.

“W-wait” He stammered, and lowered himself before her. He had placed his hands on hers, resting in her lap but they weren’t even taking note of it. “W-wait, you aren’t leaving unless I fire you” He said.

“Well then I’d fire myself!” Eunji snapped, and she sounded almost too childlike that, if not for the circumstances, Sung Gyu would have laughed. He smiled nonetheless, and with a rather eager expression, he looked right into her eyes.

“You can’t fire yourself, Eunji. You resign”

“That’s what I meant!” Eunji snapped, but then a sudden whirlwind seemed to hit her that she held onto a side of her head and whimpered. Sung Gyu, taken by surprise, leaned over and held onto her shoulders. “Eunji, are you okay?”

“Yes!” Eunji responded and pried the other’s hands away. She went on sobbing quietly for a moment, and Sung gyu deemed it as the moment to question her about her vague and rather idiotic mentioning of leaving them. She would be unemployed then. Nobody would want to hire her. She’d be homeless and unemployed soon. What on earth was she even thinking?

“Eunji, why would you even think you should leave?” He asked, gentleness coated in his voice.

Eunji looked up, blinked for a few seconds and pushed Sung Gyu away. “There, you’re doing that again!”

“Doing what?” Sung gyu returned.

“Doing that, the nice person thing” Eunji mumbled in a small voice, which actually made him smile. Then he put on a smug face and raised his brows. “Well, I’m always a nice person”

Eunji didn’t say anything in return. She sobbed loudly and fiddled with her fingers, her mind in a world of her own. Sung gyu merely watched her for a second, wondering how she could so effortlessly make his heart do funny things just by sitting there. She was like a little girl who constantly needed someone to care for her. She often reminded him of a butterfly, wings spread widely and proud, so beautiful and enigmatic in the first sight, but would mistake someone’s nose for a flower and land on it. A butterfly who looked proud but was naïve, childish and innocent underneath. It all made him wonder why she would suddenly decide to leave. Had she gotten a new job? Had she been asked to not to do this anymore? It didn’t make him feel any better. It bothered him, immensely. Sung gyu had grown attached to Eunji’s presence so much that he couldn’t imagine his life without her. It was almost as if Eunji was a part of his life herself.

“Look, you can’t just leave, okay?” Sung gyu said mildly and returned to crouch on the ground before her. “Do you want to be unemployed and homeless so badly?”

Eunji didn’t laugh. The joke surely wasn’t funny for her. “Why are you being so mean?”

Sung Gyu smiled, realizing that he had just winded her up. “Because you’re funny” He said.

“Funny?” Eunji repeated, sounding a bit hurt. “Yes. Right. I’m funny and stupid and a major embarrassment, I do all the nice things for money and I purposefully ruin your life. Okay. There’re plenty of reasons to resign”

Sung Gyu couldn’t form a response let alone think of any, taken by utter befuddlement. What even made her think of herself in such a manner? Did they even add up to all that Jung Eunji really was for him? What did she know, anyway?

“W-what are you talking about?” Sung Gyu tried not to stammer, but he did so anyway.

“You hate me” Eunji said, simply. “I come to work when I like, I interfere your private life, I make things even more miserable for you, so you hate me” she ended with a sob, and in a small voice, she added rather remorsefully, “I don’t blame you…”

All that Sung Gyu could do at that moment was just stare at the other, unable to think of anything to respond with. The thing is, all that she said wasn’t completely true, or completely false either. Sometimes Eunji would consecutively put him on the edge of patience, but then, she also made everything better in the end, in all her strange, gentle ways. Sung Gyu could never hate her, not even if she would rob his house and of all his assets and decide to live her life on selling him for forced labor. No. Sung Gyu just couldn’t bring himself to, even if he wanted to. Jung Eunji was that kind of a girl. A girl who lived to receive only love but no hatred. After all, she made him laugh, she made him happy, strangely. She’d always make his day better, even if she would come to his doorstep with a face similar to a rotten banana. And after almost a year of having her around, Sung Gyu couldn’t imagine his life without her, as strange as it may sound.

“Is that what you are crying about?” Sung gyu asked, scanning her face closely.

“Y-yes…I mean no…” She sobbed again and added. “I retched in your bathroom its so embarrassing”

Sung gyu rolled his eyes. “Yah, that was just nature’s call”

“But th-that’s not all!” Eunji snapped and began to cry again.

Sung gyu sighed and patted gently on her arm, trying to soothe her as if she was a little girl on her first day of school. “All of these are true but still you can’t leave unless I fire you”

“Well, I can resign!”

“Look” Sung Gyu started, and gave her the most exasperated look he could muster. “I don’t hate you, okay? I have no reason to hate you. True, you barge into my place whenever you want, interfere with things, all of that but I don’t mind, okay? I don’t, no, I can’t hate you for doing all of that…because that’s just who you are”

Eunji looked up at him as though he had grown two horns.

“What?” He asked.

“N-no…but why?”

Sung Gyu thought of the best answer which wouldn’t come off as weird, and said with a small smile ghosting on his lips, “Because we’re friends, and friends would always accept you just the way you are…”

This actually made Eunji’s expression brighter, never mind the greyness of her skin, and a small, reluctant smile spread across her cheeks. It was a nice smile, the kind of a smile which reminds you of the sun creeping out after a long season of endless storms and rain. Sung Gyu couldn’t help but smile back at her, catching the evident glint in her eyes. Though he didn’t want to admit it, Sung Gyu always thought Eunji’s smile was by far his most favorite. It had the ability make one feel brighter, like she was all that they’d need to make their day better.

And so, to add to what he just told her, probably because he was taken by his inner emotions rather than his conscious self, he sat up on the bed and gathered her into his arms. It was a strange occurrence, yet Sung Gyu didn’t even feel like he was doing something rather…uncalled for. He felt it was all too natural to hold her in his embrace, his warmth, his fatherly affection effortlessly drowning all her pain. He felt that it was just the one thing both of them needed after a long, tiring day.

“And although you might not be my most favorite person in the whole wide world, you’re still one of them” He mumbled into her hair, which, as he breathed, smelt like strawberries. His hand was gently patting her back, the other had its fingers curled up against the back of her head, holding her like a child.

“T-them?” Eunji murmured, her voice sounded so small and childlike, muffled against his chest, her breath slightly kissing the bit of his chest from where it was exposed over the shirt he wore. It made him feel funny things, things which he tried his best to ignore.

“My favorite people” he slowly replied.

Holding Eunji was now Sung Gyu’s favorite thing to do. Her frame was so small, barely larger than Sung Jae himself, and much tender, feminine, beautiful. It felt incredibly comforting, nothing like he had ever felt before with another woman. She was like a young girl, despite her age, a little girl who needed to be showered with a constant amount of affection and love every second of the day. It made him feel warmer all over the place. His heart raced, but as seconds passed, it only became lighter. He almost closed his eyes, continuing to breathe in her scent, his hand behind her responding to all the good feelings she was giving him. He would have held her this way forever. But he couldn’t. The moment he felt the excessive warmth emanating from her petite body, he pulled away and put both his palms around her neck. Her skin was burning hot that he was sure it would have bruised his hands.

“Eunji, now you stop your nonsense crying and lie down, you have high fever”

“O-oh…?” Eunji mused, but her eyes seemed glassy, a strange look was clouding them, like a thin membrane of imagination covering the reality. She looked up at him rather blankly, and her once pale cheeks had taken up an alarming shade of crimson, which, he assumed, had appeared because of her sickness. He immediately climbed off the bed and took her hand, checking her pulse.

“Eunji, do you think you’ve caught the flu?” He asked, panic coated in his voice. If it was the flu, it might be epidemic, and then Sung Gyu would have to give her a sick leave and keep Sung Jae away from her at all costs until she had fully recovered.

“I guess not” Eunji muttered, feeling her warm skin with her palms. “It’s probably dinner” She replied.

“Ah” Sung gyu nodded, and a heavy sigh of relief left from is lips. “True…Indian food don’t fit everyone’s diets…. anyway, you should lie down a bit. We’ll figure out what to do”

“B-but-?” Eunji began, sounding rather awkward, but Sung gyu shook his head in disapproval.

“No buts, Eunji. Stay”

“But what are you going to do boss?”

“What do you think?” Sung gyu said with his brows raised, and when Eunji didn’t seem like she would respond any sooner, he let out an exasperated sigh. “To nurse you back to health, dummy”

“O-oh…” Eunji muttered, eyes widened as if it was something unheard of. “Oh…oh”

But then as soon as she climbed up on her feet, unsteady and nauseous, Sung Gyu knew what was coming. He could only roll his eyes before following after her into the bathroom. The routine went on. Eunji threw up, Sung gyu held her hair and soothed her back, whispering his usual words of calm and affection. But this time, when he brought her back to the bed, she wasn’t crying. Nor did she seem like she’d start to do so any sooner. Instead, she only pulled the cover off Sung Jae’s bed off to a side, lied down among the fluffy pillows and gave Sung gyu a weary but small smile. “Bring me back to health then, boss” She said.

She was childish, she was silly. And it was definitely something that he really needed in his life. A getaway of the most unique kind.

*

At this rate, Eunji could swear that her heart would beat and beat so hard to the point that it would pop right out of her chest. She wasn’t sure why it was doing somersaults inside. Why it was tightening , trying to choke her down or why it sent a prickling feeling through her skin, making goosebumps raise. At first, she thought it was only having the effects of the tummy bug she was apparently having (and it was bad enough already. She sure hoped it would not go to the extent of a diarrheal infection) but it only got worse along with all the thoughts which surged in. Sung Gyu had just soothed her as she threw up, Sung Gyu had just plaited her hair, his long slender fingers gracefully adorning through it as though he was handling something so precious. He had just told her the most touching and the perfect thing that anyone could have ever told her with such sincerity that she was almost convinced herself that being as terrible as her as a person wasn’t a great mistake after all, that her being her was a…good thing. And then, and then he hugged her. He hugged her and Eunji could swear her heart just stopped, her mind went into a whirl wind and that she was never, ever, ever going to be okay after this.

It’s been so long since a man last held her in his arms so affectionately, someone sis so with such gentleness and sincerity. And that was when her father held her for the last time, cupping her head from the back, her hair and telling her that everything was going to be alright. It was an image, a memory which would remain forever in that special corner in her heart where all the memories she had shared with her father lied. He was the first man she truly ever loved, and the first man who loved her back the same way, or even more so. Only his words would make her world better, only his warmth would sooth her pacing mind. But then, tonight when Sung Gyu spoke to her those few words, great concern and affection filling up in those eyes like a glassy shield, reflecting his innermost thoughts, she could grasp how honest he was, and that he had never been so honest to her throughout the time they’ve been together, and it was something, something she had to acknowledge. Sung Gyu opened up to her for a reason, and the reason, was her. That made her feel the same effects she did from when her father did the same things for her all those years ago. He made her feel important, like she was on the top of the world, like she held significance in their lives regardless of whom she truly was. She hadn’t felt so for a long, long time. She hadn’t a romantic partner, and only a very few people chose to hang around her. Although Eunmi, and the Nam’s cared or her immensely, she needed something little more in her life to keep on going forth.

And tonight, being held in Sung Gyu’s embrace, she realized that it was that feeling of security and affection that she truly needed in her life.

The affection her father took along with him when he died. She just felt it tonight, coming from another father just a few yeas senior to her, a father, nevertheless, who always had more than enough love to give.

After Sung Gyu had rushed out of the room, claiming that he was going to nurse her back to health, and after having thrown up twice, Eunji was exhausted, nauseous, weary and slightly thrilled at the same time. Despite feeling incredibly sick (and incredibly embarrassed; it wasn’t like she was planning to throw up in Sung Jae’s commode bowl. Like he said, it was nature’s call, but still Eunji felt like a five-year-old) Eunji still felt that a heavy weight had just been lifted off her back. The thoughts of leaving the job she truly loved, the disturbing, nagging emotions she felt towards him, the distrust and cynicism had long now passed, being replaced by relief and pure bliss. She thought of the warmth in his embrace which enveloped in a soothing summer breeze, the sound of him breathing against her ear echoing like the waves against the coast and his fingers in her hair, curling and uncurling, the tender ministrations making her feel all sorts of things, unspeakable things. His smile, brighter than the sun, the moon and all the universal galaxies combined, had to be the most beautiful, the twinkle of his eyes glistening like a pair of brilliant stars in the clear blue sky. Sung Gyu, himself was incredibly beautiful when he was out of his pretense, and as for a man who lived by the rule of pretending and hiding his true feelings, when it really does come out, he was beautiful beyond words.

So when Sung Gyu came back into the room, his hands holding a number of unrecognizable items, Eunji felt her breathing hitch, making her heart go frenzy like it had been given direct signals to do so. Sung gyu gave her that look, that look full of concern that only a father would give to a child, the look which previously looked so deceiving in her eyes, too good to be true. Eunji could swear that now, she felt his eyes piercing right through her skull and poking onto the right places of her consciousness. He wasn’t pretending at all. He was being the most honest he had ever been.

“Are you okay?” He asked, placing a few miscellaneous items he had brought, on the night stand. Eunji looked up at him, gulped hard, and nodded her head.

Sung Gyu nodded back himself, but he sighed loudly like a dad would, reached nightstand and took something which looked like a thermometer into his hand before sitting down on the bed beside her.

He was in such a proximity, Eunji could feel the warmth coming from his, his strong breezy scent, and his voice sounded so close. Eunji’s heart was so wild that she didn’t think she’d last much longer.

“Ah, now open up” he said, and took the thermometer out of its confines.

“Uh-huh?” Eunji went blankly, not catching a word he said.

Sung Gyu shrugged. “We’re going to check your temperature, open your mouth”

Eunji blinked a several times, but followed his words anyway. His free hand reached her chin and kept open while the other slipped the tip of the thermometer under the tongue. Despite it being a completely normal medical procedure, Eunji couldn’t help but feel self-conscious; immensely so. Her heart had now dies; it was probably lying there somewhere, burst open and bleeding out in misery. Eunji closed her eyes and breathed long when Sung Gyu’s hand finally left her face. She didn’t open them once, afraid to catch the sight of him. A few seconds passed, then a minute, and Sung Gyu’s hand reached over to pull the thermometer out of her lips.

Eunji opened just a corner of her eyes, and when she saw only a side of his chest and the waist, in a red hoodie and grey sweatpants (red looking incredibly good on him than it has ever had on any man she’s come across in life), she closed them back and tried to breath normal once more.

“Hm, this is bad, really bad” Sung Gyu was mumbling to himself, and soon, for her relief, he got of the bed and moved away. Eunji opened her eyes again, only to catch the sight of Sung Gyu going into the bathroom with a plastic bowl and a fluffy face towel. It didn’t seem like a good idea. Not a good idea at all. Unless she did it herself, she was almost too sure her fever wouldn’t go down a single bit.

Sung gyu returned, this time the bowl filled with lukewarm water. He set it on the floor, soaked the towel in it, and slowly pulled off the covers of the bed. Eunji felt an internal scream booming inside her. She hastily reached down to pull the quilt back up her chest, but Sung gyu was persistent. He even gave her a look of pure exasperation which stopped Eunji and her antics momentarily, but when he sat on the bed once more, everything that Eunji could do altogether, stopped completely. Her system was malfunctioning again, and it was all his fault.

Then Sung gyu pushed her against the pillow. Even if it was with only two fingers, Eunji felt so miserable; it was a bit too much for her. Obviously Sung Gyu wasn’t thinking of anything of the sort. Even in his eyes all she could see was the affection of a caring father. But they were a man and a woman, just a few years apart. And he was a beautiful man himself. There was no stopping to feeling giddy and strange at such a close proximity to him, despite circumstances.

“Roll up your sleeves, Eunji” He said, now twisting the soaked towel in his reddened hands.

“huh?”

“Roll up your sleeves…” he grunted, and Eunji followed as she was told, though with much reluctance.

Although it made Eunji all giddy and miserable, she still let Sung gyu to do his part of dampening both her arms with warm water. She could have done it nonetheless, but Sung gyu was so persistent, like a day would be and insisted that he would do it himself. Eunji didn’t say anything. Not verbally at least. But her hands went rigid whenever he held them, her mind was shattered and was all over the place in tiny fragments, afloat in the air around her. Eunji couldn’t believe the kind of effect Sung Gyu had on he. In the beginning she just hated him, even in the morning till late enough, she wanted him out of her sight. And now, now she was literally melting into a puddle beneath his kind and gentle ministrations. Just wat was Sung Gyu for her, really? Why did she feel so…affected by him?

Once he was done with her arms, he asked her to do the most outrageous thing in the world. He wanted her to the top bi of the jacket.

“B-but why?” Eunji asked in a shaky voice.

Sung Gyu stared at her, and shook his head. “For what do you think? Geeze, I have done this to my sister million times, okay?”

“W-when?” Eunji asked, not because she had any interest of knowing but just because she wanted to stall.

“When we used to live together and she got sick so often, now come on”

Eunji shook her head and held out her hands. “I’ll do it” She said.

Sung Gyu looked at her, then at her hands, and the towel in his own hands. He then shrugged and went on to soak the towel, drained the excess of water and dumped it into her hands. Eunji, without a word, didn’t even bother to her jacket. She only pressed the towel on the only bits of skin left exposed from the jacket.

“Eunji, that wouldn’t do” Sung Gyu sighed.

“What” Eunji gave him a look. “You’re looking; I can’t the jacket”

Sung Gyu rolled his eyes. “Why? Aren’t you wearing anything underneath?”

Eunji gasped, feeling blood descend into her face and crossed her arms on her chest securely covering herself. “Yes of course I am wearing something!”

“Then just it a bit and dampen down to your chest, Eunji. You need to get cold as much as possible, or fever wouldn’t go down”

“H-how would you know?”

Sung gyu shrugged and gave her a look of exasperation. “Because I’m a father”

Because I’m a father. A father.

Eunji didn’t know how hearing these words coming from him would make her feel so much of sense of security and familiarity, like he was giving a vow, a promise to her no other man except for her own father ever made. Eunji’s hands went limp and descended downwards, her eyes casted into his. His held a strong, inevitable look of sincerity, something she had never seen in another man before. He reminded her of her own father many times than once. His affection, his honesty and even his insecurities. He held so much of familiarity, a conversant feeling she just couldn’t question or evade. He was a father. A father would never lie to anyone. And if that was who he was, that was whom she would trust.

She did as she was told. She ped her jacket down to her tight underneath and wordlessly dampened her burning skin. Sung Gave her a nod of approval, a small smile gracing on his lips, despite the weariness drooping in his eyes. This was what a father was, no matter what age the person he was caring for was. She knew, because she had witnessed her own numerous times.

Sung Gyu left her to that and left the room, giving her a space to catch her breath. She collapsed onto the bed, taking long heavy breaths as if she had just run a mile. She had almost forgotten it that she was having a bad stomach ache. She had almost forgotten that she had heaved out her insides into the toilet bowl just a few minutes ago. All she could remember was Sung Gyu’s warmth, Sung Gyu’s hands on her, Sung Gyu’s eyes, Sung Gyu’s smile and Sung Gyu, just Sung Gyu. The mere thoughts of him made her feel suffocated. He was suffocating her with his gentleness, his kindness, his endless beauty, just by his existence. What was he, anyway? Why was he doing this to her? What did she do to deserve this?

Every time she would think of the events from tonight, her heart would raise into horsepower and would run all over the place. Her face felt so hot, she couldn’t even breath despite the cold embracing her. Every thought of him made her wonder, what am I doing with my life? Hell, she was beginning to have a petty high-school-girl crush on her employer, a father of an eight-year-old. She had to escape, she had to stop herself. She had to find love.

But then her thoughts would always, always wander back to him. He was taking care of her, like an actual father would. What a wonderful husband he would be? He was the epitome of perfection, and him still flying solo was such a shame. And these thought took her back to other thoughts. One thing led to another, and soon in her mind was replaying the incident from last Christmas. His drunk kiss, his boozy lips fumbling hers, his tongue slipping past her teeth, his slender long fingers grasping onto her hair, sending her out of this world, taking her breath away. This made her feel like killing herself. Instead of killing herself, however, she unfurled the towel and threw it over her face as if that would stop her from warming up, and also wipe that silly smile off her face.

“Doing that wouldn’t help you much” came Sung Gyu’s voice a few minutes later, and Eunji nearly jumped out of her skin in embarrassment. It was Sung gyu who took the towel off her, greeting her with one of those smiles, the smiles he gave with only his eyes while his lips remained unsmiling. Eunji’s face felt warm again, and she didn’t even dare smile back. She just remained there, lying among the pillows, trying to get her breathing back to normal. Meanwhile, Sung Gyu had soaked the towel again, folded it into a roll and he leaned over het to place it on her forehead.

It was at that moment that her eyes flew open at the close proximity, of having him hovering above her. Her lungs filled with the breezy scent of him, and his warmth was yet again enveloping her in a sweet summery heat. She looked up, her mind singing a giddy prayer inside, and her eyes met with the smooth slopes and veins of his pale, porcelain neck, and also something else she hadn’t noticed before. No, she had never seen on him before. She was certain. This was a first.

On his neck, hanging down from the folds of his hooded T-shirt was a thick platinum chain, three black pearls aligned and giving a different shine to his pale skin. She had never seen him wearing a chain before. She knew he was the kind to wear jewelry, but he just never had worn any before. For a moment she had a strong urge to reach out and twist the chain around her finger. She refrained, wondering where a sudden piece of jewelry came around from. And then, soon enough, Sung Gyu moved away from her.

“Just let me check your temperature again” He said.

*

Eunji’s temperature hadn’t decreased considerably, which made him feel concerned. It was way above 101 degrees before, and still even after he had dampened her with a wet towel, it still remained above 100 degrees. Temperature above 100 was never a good sign, and she needed all around care until it really went down. So he picked up the fan he brought from the utility room, placed it on the nightstand and put it on high for the cold air to enclose her. The best way to bring down the warmth in the body was exposure to cold. It was something he had done numerous times, for his son, is parents and his sister. But just the fan wouldn’t do either.

He went back to the bed and simply proceeded to pull the quilt off from the girl.

“W-what are you doing?” Eunji stammered.

“You shouldn’t cover yourself, the temperature wouldn’t go down” He explained, and tried to grab the quilt once more. But Eunji resisted by pulling it right over her head. “Go away” said a muffled voice from underneath.

Sung Gyu rested his hands on his waist and let out a long sigh. “You’re too active for a person with high fever, you know? Why can’t you have a little trust on me and listen to me just once?”

At that, however, the quilt moved the slightest, and Eunji’s head popped out. “It’s too cold” she said in a shaky voice.

“Well, that’s the whole point!” Sung Gyu exclaimed and rolled his eyes. “Come on, now”

With a pout, Eunji pulled the quilt off her, which Sung Gyu folded and put away. He then grabbed a thin flannel from Sung Jae’s cupboard, unfolded it and proceeded to pull it over the girl. The whole time, Eunji was just staring at him in wonderment, like she was seeing someone taking care of another for the first time. Her eyes were glassy, cheeks were pink, and despite having high fever, she looked like a creepy porcelain doll. Sung gyu stood back after he was done and gave her a look.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” He asked.

Eunji parted her lips, but no words seemed to come out. Perhaps she was too sick to even respond. Sung Gyu’s seen how people go all strange when their temperature went above hundred. It’s a normal phenomenon. People call it something which he couldn’t really remember; and it was usually associated with people doing strange, crazy things when they are having high fever; things like hallucinations and talking on their own.

“It’s fine” Sung Gyu said in the end in a gentler tone and reached for the pills he brought earlier on. “Take these pills first. One is for nausea, the other is for fever”

Eunji nodded blankly, and watched him as he sat on the bed beside her, placed the tablets in her open palm and unscrewed the cap of bottled water. Eunji was like a kid who had never even seen a tablet before. She nearly chocked on the first one, and Sung Gyu had to pat her back as she downed it with much struggle. Then he had to actually teach her how to take a pill right, step by step like a school teacher. Once all was done, it was not only Eunji who felt sick. Sung gyu was so glad he wasn’t raising a problematic twenty-seven-year-old woman.

He sat on the edge of the bed, looking down at Eunji carefully, vary of any signs of discomfort. The fever should go down by now, after all his careful ministrations; yet he was unsure. Also he didn’t want to leave her unattended, in case things could possibly get worse despite the treatments. He took her wrist and checked her pulse, leaned forward, placed his hands around her neck and determined her temperature. Once he had clarified that all was normal as of now, he let out a sigh and stretched his arms with a groan.

“Now should do” he said and climbed up on his feet, finally up to go to sleep himself. But when he looked down at Eunji, she was staring up at him with the same glassy eyed wonderment. It was strange so to speak. After all the singing and dancing she did about him hating her. So he sat back down and gave her a long look.

“What now?” he asked.

After a moment of hesitation and quietness, Eunji shook her head. “N-no, nothing…just…” she let out a sigh and looked down at her hands folded on her chest. “It’s just…I just remembered my…dad”

Sung Gyu looked down at her for a moment, and unable to form a response, he repeated in a questioning form; “Your dad?”

“Hmm” Eunji nodded eagerly. “Yeah well…you remind me of my dad…” she said.

Sung Gyu smiled. “That should be good, as long as it’s not your mum I remind you of”

Eunji frowned. “No” she replied, shaking her head. “You know…when we unnie and I were kids, and when dad was still alive, he was the one who took care of us the most…you know. Not mum”

“Oh” Sung Gyu nodded, unable to think of anything since in his family, things were rather different. There was never one person doing all the caring in his family. Both his parents loved their two children immensely, and if one happened to fall sick, it was pandemonium. His father would panic, but his mother would calmly treat them well. But then it was his father who did the part of staying up and alerting his mother of any concerns. Therefore, he never felt any indifference. For him, parents were always parents. “So, how is your mother like?” He asked in the end.

“Well” Eunji started and bit her lip. “They say I take up after her” she said and laughed bitterly. “She’s like me…”

“Then she must be fun to be around” Sung Gyu supplied. But instead of appearing pleased, her face only grew darker. “No” she shook her head. “She…she had her own world. She’s crazy, impulsive. She didn’t give us or anything else as much as care that dad ever did...She is…irresponsible. She doesn’t think much before doing something, and it would almost always go wrong.” Eunji looked up to meet his eyes then, and gave him a long, knowing look. “The similarity is striking, isn’t it?”

Sung Gyu couldn’t understand why she always let her down in this way. For him, there wasn’t anything so disappointing about her. Eunji was driven, fierce and beautiful. He admired her in more than one way, and even if she constantly put him in difficult situations, he didn’t mind it at all, given that she’d almost always salvage the situation in her best way possible. Also, she made him laugh, she was fun to be around; and in his lonely, single parent despondent life, Eunji was being a perfect distraction, and it was more than he could ask for.

“It is” Sung gyu said, and as expected, her face fell, a small sad smile was curving on her lips. “But” he carried on, giving her a kind look. “I don’t understand how it is a bad thing. Do people always have to be the same? Of course, your father must have been a remarkable person. There is no wonder everyone loved him. But have you ever wondered why your father loved your mum?”

Eunji just stared up at him. No word came in response, so he carried on. “Because she completed him, you know. Everything everybody else saw as flaws, your father saw as perfections. That’s how it works, Eunji. Nobody is disappointing or nothing makes any less of them. People accept people as who they are. They love them for being that person. They believe that every imperfection of you fills the gap between them and yourself. That is how things work in this world” He smiled, and patted lightly on her hand. “And true, you’re crazy, impulsive, you make the stupidest mistakes ever. But that never makes any less of you. If you don’t do crazy, stupid, impulsive, irresponsible things, then you wouldn’t be Jung Eunji”

Eunji bit her lip, her eyes only focused on her hands, which kept clenching and unclenching impatiently. And then, in an afterthought, she added. “That makes me despicable”

Sung Gyu rolled his eyes. “No dummy. Nothing makes you despicable. Nobody in this world is despicable. We only tend to choose whom we love, that’s all”

“Then…” she carried on in a small voice. “Then someone like myself would never be chosen, right?”

Sung gyu let out a long sigh. He wanted to tell her that he would make that choice any day, but then it sounded almost too…promising. Sung Gyu liked her, in a way, there was no doubt about that. But he didn’t want to give her the wrong impression. Sung Gyu always believed that she deserved much better than anyone she’s been with. Not Yang Yeosob, not Kim Moonsoo. But someone much, much better, someone who could see her values right through her flaws, someone who could love her without conditions. And also, even if it made him feel slightly…off-putting, he knew that it would never be someone like him.

“Don’t be too hard on yourself” he said in the end. “Things happen, eventually. They always do. But they take time. You, Eunji, are an incredible woman. You’re talented, funny, beautiful. What makes you let yourself down like this all the time?”

Eunji seemed to ponder it for a moment, but then she let out a sigh. “I don’t know…”

“Right” Sung Gyu nodded. “That only means there is nothing of the sort. Just be happy of who you are, Eunji. There are lots of people out there who would give anything to be like you”

This made her laugh bitterly. “Oh yeah? Like who?”

“Like me” Sung Gyu responded without hesitation.

This left Eunji speechless, flabbergasted and possibly wondering why anyone would ever want to be like herself. It was a pity that she never realized just how important she was for people, for them to go out of their way to be a part of her life. It was a pity that some people never saw the exceptional value in her. Eunji was like a rare gem. You couldn’t find girls like her everywhere, and even when you do, you couldn’t excavate her, to keep her by your side. It takes someone like himself to show it to her that every bit of her was worthy of everything.

“Okay, that’s enough” Sung Gyu said finally, and sprang up to his feet. “It’s time for you to go to sleep”

“Oh…” Eunji blinked as if she was ordered to do something extraordinary and lied down comfortably, looking scarcely up at the roof above as if it solved everything. Sung Gyu couldn’t help but find her incredibly adorable. Sometimes he wondered if this was how it’s like to raise a daughter. It it was, then he’d really like to have one himself.

He leaned over her and brought the flannel up to her neck. Their eyes met for a moment at this point. He was in such a close proximity to her. If he moved an inch, he could have kissed her, right on her fluffy pink lips. This gave Sung gyu a hard blow on his heart, so much so that he could swear it stopped. Eunji’s eyes were shining, like stars. Her cheeks were pink, and she was breathing so soundly that he could feel it on his skin, a soft rush of air kissing his face. He breathed in her scent; something close to strawberries and summer. It was so nice that it made his head spin. For a moment, time stood still. Only one thought was in his mind. If he moved an inch, if he moved an inch…

“Goodnight” Sung gyu breathed out in a whisper, when he realized that he’s been doing this for way too long. He shouldn’t’ t let himself go out of hand this way. He was afraid he’d end up doing something rash, something terrible. Eunji was so fragile. She didn’t deserve it, especially not from some like himself. This made him remember something, something that Yoora had said to him earlier on.

Kim Sung gyu was desperate. He was desperate to be loved.

He soon pulled away from her, stood up, looked everywhere else but her and let out a sigh. It was the cue for him to leave her, or else he would let his love-deprived heart to take over in this sleepless, mindless state. As he left, he said nothing. He was rigid as marble. He left the door close behind him, walked into his own room, crawled under the covers, fumbled in the dark, searching for the small frame of his son and held the small bundle of warmth against his chest, breathing in his warm, boyish scent so deeply as if it would fill up and wipe off the sweet scent of the girl in his lungs. It took him a moment to settle down. His heart took longer than necessary to calm its horses, and his mind was a whirlwind. With the soft rustle of his baby against him, however, feeling his gentle warmth, everything pacified, to the extent that sleep slowly took him over. He slowly was swept into his dreamlands, however, and the last he remembered in his blurry mind was a vision he had never seen before. Or he had, but could never recall.

It was the sight of Eunji’s doe eyes, big, round and surprised, so close to his own, and then, was the sight of her soft, entrancing lips.

*

Throughout the year that she had known him, Eunji had always thought of Sung gyu as the proper, polite and conservative kind. His respect for the opposite gender was remarkable, despite the fact that he had had a child before marriage. He never looked at women in a different eye. He always treated them with utmost reverence; a bow, minimal physical contact, a generous smile and a few polite words. It was almost impossible for her to imagine him being intimate with another woman; as if it was humanely impossible. Perhaps that was what which made him beautiful in her eyes. In his presence, all she would feel was secured, protected, as if he was a shield against all the evil.

But tonight, tonight it was different, because tonight he embodied all the evil himself.

Eunji held her breath, unable to breathe, unable to gasp, whimper or even corporate. Kim Sung Gyu was suddenly a different person. He was hovering above her; his gleaming eyes looking right into her soul as his hands rested on either sides of her head He had her confined to the bed, Sung Jae’s bed. His legs trapped her waist, his weight held her down yet against him. As his chest raised with every breath, she felt it mushed against her s; warm and tender. It was terrifying, yet terrifyingly beautiful.

When he moved towards her, Eunji tried to protest, because it was wrong, oh so wrong while it seemed so right in her eyes. They were in his son’s bed, on the covers he soundly slept on every night, on the covers he had held his baby numerous times, putting him to sleep it wasn’t the right place for him to hold her this way, so intimate, breathtaking. She’d let him take her over anywhere but here. Nonetheless, the feeling didn’t seem it was mutual. When Eunji protested, Sung gyu refrained her. He held her wrists in his free hands, his grip was hard as steel, yet Eunji felt immensely guilty for loving it. It wasn’t helping much either, when her hands were being held in his iron grip, right below her s. She was certain he could feel them, soft and warm through the flimsy material of whatever she wore. Also her heartbeat; wild and frantic. He had made her run out of her mind.

He moved first, against her pleas. Her eyes fell shut at the feel of his lips against hers. They were sweet, warm and tender, every move he made well executed, well defined. She tried to breath, but she couldn’t. Him kissing her this way was too much for her to handle. His lips parted, and when she gasped, he took her lower lip between his teeth, nibbled on her, nipped and tugged, beckoning her to give in. It was impossible for her to hold back; he was making it impossible with his gracious movements. When his tongue slipped against her lips, her warm and tender, Eunji couldn’t hold back any longer. She gasped for air, her back arching and her hands straining against his grip. She granted him entrance, to search her through. He let her hands off, and they blindly reached out for him, searching for whatever to hold onto. She felt his arms, strong on her sides. She let them run around his neck, pulling him closer, and felt with her fingers, the dark locks of his hair. She gripped them harder, and pulled him closer than they could ever be. His hands remained on her waist, slowly moving upwards, not making a significant move. But his lips, oh his lips, never missing an inch of her. He kissed her through and through. Nipped, tugged and . He shifted sides, kissed her again, led his tongue into her dark cavern and tasted her, intoxicated her with his glory. Kissing the side of her neck, he slowly brought his hands upwards, and left hem resting right on the underside of her s. His lips parted and teeth graced onto where she was most sensitive. Her eyes opened, and rolled heavenwards, her hands tugged onto his hair, begging him to stop there, right there. If they would go any further, she could swear she would run out of her mind.

His hands began to push her undergarments over the T-shirt she wore. She could feel his hands on the underside of her s. His teeth latched onto her skin, and everything flashed in her eyes. Sparks flew from where he graced her, all throughout her body. She grew warmer, her heart was wild, frantic, relentless. She needed this to stop. He had to stop.

“S-stop” she mumbled, trying to pry him off her. He held on, nevertheless, he went on kissing her, leaving wet, open mouthed kisses down her neck. She tried again.

“Stop, stop, stop”

This time, he did, lifted his head and looked right into her eyes. They were glimmering, like of a wolf when seeing its prey. Eunji was terrified. She started to squirm beneath him, struggling to break free. But then, but then he caught her wrists in his iron like grip and held both her hands above her head, holding her in his trap once all over again.

“Stop….” She tried once more. But then his own words won over hers.

“ing stop it Jung Eunji!”

Eunji gasped, held her chest, and woke up with a startle. She realized, then, with warmth descending into her face that all of what which happened in the past few minutes has only been just a dream, a ing dream. She felt sick to her gut. It wasn’t the kind of sick she felt earlier on; not fever. Not the twisting in her intestines or the whirling in her head, no. it was the kind of a sick feeling you get when you realize that you had just had a wet dream about your prim and proper conservative single parent employer doing unspeakable things right in the bed of his beloved child. Eunji could have melted into a puddle, dissolved into thin air, dematerialized, anything. The shame she felt was so much more than she could ever imagine.

She had hoped for her sickness to go down when she drifted off to sleep that night after a brief, enigmatic exchange with a beautiful, beautiful man. It was an extraordinary night. He had held her, he had spoken to her, he had shown her a side of himself she had never seen, she had heard from him the best kind of things anyone could have ever told her. Sung Gyu was genuine, every word he said was true to his heart. She could see his sincerity gleaming vigorously in his eyes. It had been a wonderful night. Despite being sick and embarrassing herself, Eunji could swear she would cherish all these small moments for the rest of her life. Everything had gone well for her, everything. But then with the haunting image of her and him making out on this very bed imprinted eternally in her mind, Eunji could swear that she was scarred for life.

And that was why she couldn’t remain in this house any longer. No. Not with the very man soundly asleep on the other side of this wall. Eunji felt like she had just broke into his personal bubble and ravished him. The guilt and shame were taking over all the good senses. She felt like killing herself.

When Eunji finally sat up in the bed, the room was still submerged in utter darkness. She couldn’t tell what time it was, but she had slept long enough that the exhaustion and the nausea had worn off. The fever had to, just like Sung Gyu had told her. Instead she was covered in cold sweat, and her heart was pacing hard for a wholly different reason She climbed off the bed and tumbled her way into Sung jae’s washroom. She didn’t even bother to turn on the light, taken by shame that she couldn’t dare see herself in the mirror. She hurriedly washed her face and , tightened her hair into a bun since it had begun to fall out of the plait Sung gyu had previously put it into. Then, in the dark she got back into her own clothes and stuffed the ones she wore into her bag so that she could wash them and return them sometime later. Then she made Sung Jae’s bed, put the used flannel into the laundry basket, put away the wet towels and the water basin which Sung gyu had used earlier. Once all was done, she decided it was her cue to leave. Storm or not, she was going to go home.

Upon creeping out of Sung jae’s room, Eunji did the mistake of looking into Sung Gyu’s bedroom. It was a mistake. A huge, irreversible mistake. In addition to the disturbing wet-dream image of themselves together in Sung Jae’s bed, Eunji had also seen Sung Gyu’s well-defined, smooth and incredibly beautiful abdomen from the T-shirt which had drawn upwards in his sleep. Perhaps from all the training he had gotten as a police officer, he wasn’t a fatty. Instead he had a beautifully carved slopes and curves. She had always known for him to be quite a furry bear, but she never imagined him to be so furry on his stomach, and also she never imagined she’d ever witness things that she never, ever should.

Right. It was time for her to head home. Period.

When she creeped out into the corridor, it was lightened by the sun coming through the only windows of the building. It was a relief, that it’s already morning. She didn’t want to be looming around in the dead of the dawn. Luckily, there was also no sign of Moonsoo, who must have been dragged into the house by his brother. So she quietly made her way through the empty corridor, down the elevator, and was glad when she found the plaza not deserted, alive with early risers who had come down for a cup of coffee and shop owners starting their day. She greeted everyone she met with a bow and gladly made her way out of the building. It was once she was away from the Kim condominium she felt much safer. Not that she had no trust on Sung gyu herself. Whom she couldn’t trust the most at that point, was herself. At least the day had ended well, a least she wasn’t going to hand in her resignation letter. And that was good going.

So once she was safely inside a taxi, heading on her way to her home in Ansan, she pulled out her phone and opened a fresh text message to her boss. Sung gyu, despite his usually churlish self was nice throughout the night yesterday, and he at least deserved a tiny token of appreciation, even though he never gave her any himself. Hopefully that would teach him the lesson that he should value the things people do for him.

‘Dear Kim Sung Gyu-Ssi…’

*

‘…Thank you for everything. Although you’re definitely not my favorite boss in the whole wide world, you’re definitely the only boss I have, and also one of my favorite people.’

Sung Gyu smiled fondly to himself as he read the message under his breath. He had woken up that morning, much later than he usually did, only to be greeted by the sound coming from the kitchen. He had instantly thought Eunji was up and making breakfast for them, and he was excited to have another weekend with homemade breakfast, or brunch in this case. But upon walking into the kitchen, looking incredibly sleepy on purpose (He even tried to walk into a wall in elaboration) he was only faced with little Sung Jae walking around in his cute, oversized pajamas, making sandwiches.

“Where’s baby sitter?” he had asked his son, and Sung Jae replied to him with a shrug. “She creeped out of the house this morning. She looked very guilty. I think she had peed in my bed”

Sung Gyu had then gone off to check if his son was right about his claim, but no, the bed was perfectly made, and there was no sign of a wet patch. Of course Eunji wouldn’t pee in her sleep. So then he had gone back to his room to give her a call in case she had gotten herself into trouble. It was then that he saw the message in his inbox.

And he could swear his day was made much, much better. A lot better than finding her making breakfast for them, because she had just told him the one thing, he realized, he had wanted to hear all his life.

He was, after all, the only boss she had.

Dear everyone,

I cannot explain how thankful I am for all of your kind words. I appreciate them greatly and I will forver owe you for being there for me at a difficult time. I love you all. You all are very wonderful people, and also will always be my favorites. Thank you for being there for me. I don't know how else to tell you how much I appreciate every single one of you, please do tell me if there is anything you wish I could do for you to tell you how much I love you. Also, this chapter is dedicated for you.

Loads and loads of love,

Achini.