Long, boring filler chapter. sorry it took so long. Enjoy!!

People were these weird creatures who had all sorts of weird things that they were scared of. Some were scared of heights; some were scared of dark places and some were scared of cats. When they’d come across these things or situations where they’d be encountered by these things they feared; people would faint, climb on tables or cry gallons of tears as though these things could possibly do anything harmful to them. Like, what was potentially harmful about rabbits? They were cute, fluffy and what they could do is sleeping and eating things the whole day, including occasional pooping and peeing. And while occasional pooping and peeing can be fairly harmful, there isn’t anything that could possibly cause one to climb up a table and scream to salvage their dear lives. The truth of the matter was this; it was either that people were very very stupid, or it was that there really were hidden harmful elements of some sort within all of those things they were scared of. Maybe cats and rabbits transformed into monsters in the night; maybe spiders could grow as big as banyan trees. That was the only conclusion Sung Jae could come into when he learned about people’s phobias.

Little Sung Jae learned about people being scared of things on this documentary he watched on TV with his appa on one weekend. It was really cold that day and the two of them were too bored to go outside and play (like they did once in a while). Sung Gyu had managed to locate a few edible things in their refrigerator which consisted of bread, cheese, egg and some Kimchi so he put together a strange kind of sandwich which Sung Jae couldn’t eat half way through; and for lunch they ordered chicken which Sung Jae had to bring to the living room because his appa was too lazy to get down the sofa. Anyway, they were switching through the channels as they usually did, and opted to watch this educational channel because it was supposed to be educational and Sung Gyu had bought that channel on the cable for a purpose. What they were showing that day was about, like said, phobias.

It was interesting, if one would view the show in general perception. There were all sorts of people on the show, and each of them were scared of at least one strange thing. The show, by the name, was ‘My strange phobia’, which was quite skeptical if you come to think of it, all owing to its underlying cutesy quality. One could possibly say ‘My strange phobia’ in one hundred different ways, and Sung Gyu wasn’t sure if the people with actual phobias would really appreciate it since none of the ways that Sung Gyu said the sentence in his mind actually served the purpose right. Phobias, however, as the show said, was somewhat connected to anxiety disorder. Since the two were hooked up to the documentary (Because of its music and remarkable presentation and stuff) Sung Gyu searched up the difficult words and the like on his phone and would explain to his son who was deeply enthralled by this phenomena. He was wondering if Sung Jae himself had some sort of a phobia; he was wondering if his appa had a phobia. Because apparently, according to the documentary, one out of five people had a deep fear of something or a certain situation.

There was this one person who was scared of clowns. The fear of clowns was called ‘Coulrophobia’.

There was another who was scared of gold and things made of gold; it was called ‘Aurophobia’.

And ‘Ecclesophobia’ was apparently referring to the deep fear of going to the church.

These came to Sung Jae as tremendously fascinating. He was thinking of other kinds of fears people could have. There were people scared of water. How were they drinking water and taking baths? And some were scared of going home. Did they not go home and sleep at school then? Sung Jae wouldn’t sleep at school though. He hated going to school itself that he was almost convinced he had a phobia of going to school. While his son was at this, his eyes still focused on the television set; Sung Gyu was wondering which of these he could use on his mother, his boss at work, Sung Jae’s school teacher and the parents of his friends as excuses. While Sociophobia sounded fairly acceptable for many reasons, the excuse that he really wanted to use was that particular fear about going to church. In fact, Sung Gyu hated going to church. It wasn’t that his family was greatly religious or anything, but his grandmother was apparently making leeway for better days in her afterlife, and was always forcing all of them to visit the church on Sundays so that she could die peacefully. Sung Gyu tried his best to not to think about the fact that his grandmother was far from dying any sooner; she lived in Jeonju and still took care of his grandfather’s farm better than his grandfather himself had done so. She always complained that Sung Gyu was an idiot because he could hardly lift a pile of mud with a shovel on the days they visit her for Choesok or something. His mind went so far from phobias to his grandmother and immediately wondered if people could possibly have fears of their man-like grandmothers. If they did, Sung Gyu definitely had this.

So he was deeply engrossed in this thought that he barely heard it when Sung Jae was talking to him. Sung Jae had to pull his father by his T-shirt to garner his attention; and Sung Gyu did give his attention to his son by putting down the hand of which the thumb-nail he was chewing on and averting his eyes to him.

“Appa…do you think I have a phobia?” He was asking, sounding all grave and intent. Sung Gyu just watched him for a while, still not being completely out of his train of thoughts and just shook his head. “I think not. You’re a strong kid, you know”

“Really?” He muttered, sounding disappointed. Sung Jae was expecting to have a phobia of his own too. He wanted to be scared of something weird so he can excitedly talk about it to his friends at school.

“What about appa then? Do you have a phobia?”

Sung Gyu didn’t even have to think twice when he answered with a rather smug smile; “Of course not! Phobias are for weak people, but I am pretty strong!”

“Hm” Sung Jae went, not exactly satisfied and returned to watching the TV. The truth was, Sung Jae really needed to meet someone who had a phobia. He wanted to know if it was a weird one and wanted to see how scared they would get and how they would react. If it was that one out of five people had this, shouldn’t at least one person Sung Jae knew have a phobia? Sung Jae was troubled by this question ever since that night. It didn’t exactly help him when the show ended and they went on to have hot chocolate; nor did when they went to bed and his father tell him about some old investigation. Sung Gyu fell asleep way before his son did, and Sung Jae happened to stay up for much longer, just thinking.

However, after a week or so, the entire ordeal about phobias didn’t even matter anymore. It was as though all the knowledge he had gathered on phobias, all the memories of the show had disappeared completely. The father and the son went on with their usual routine, and since it was really cold these days and also since Sung Jae’s exams were just around the corner, they didn’t so much as watch TV much. Eunji conducted weekend tutor sessions for him and discussed his progress with Sung Gyu every night, and every once in a while, Sung Gyu himself would teach his son one or two things and prepared him for the tests. Such was life for almost two weeks, the exams ended as soon as the season began; and then came around the last day of the term which was the parent-teacher gathering, also which Sung Gyu hated the most.

The thing about parent-teacher gatherings was that Sung Gyu would always end up either looked down on or sympathized no matter how good Sung Jae had done with his studies. Sung Jae was bright in his schoolwork, which was a relief and Sung Gyu actually believes that the child is naturally very intelligent, much like himself. Every year he would mark a high average in studies but would always go down in discipline, which was quite a concern. This was the reason why he lost the yearly prize for three consecutive years at primary school. Sung Gyu had discussed this with Sung Jae’s homeroom teachers’ myriad times, but Sung Jae will always be Sung Jae and be, well, destructive. Sung Gyu was certain that the child didn’t mean to be destructive in any possible way. The thing was that every time Sung Jae would end up flooding a bathroom or turning the tables upside down in the classrooms, he would always have good and fair intentions. He was rebellious, and he was a crafty thinker. It was sad, indeed, that the teachers only saw badly in it when Sung Jae would mess up the classroom arrangements just so the bullies would stop bothering the innocent. Sung Gyu wasn’t sure whether he should be proud or anxious about it. And parents’ complains were relentless. Being the only parent for Sung Jae, he could hardly tolerate the complaints as well as the looks he constantly received as though he had made terrible felonies.

Anyway, on this particular day, Sung Gyu was sitting among the rest of the parents, characteristically alone, listening to Sung Jae’s homeroom teacher as she announced the year end agenda. There was going to be a concert like every other year and the Christmas ball to wrap up the term. Sung Gyu was almost certain that he wouldn’t be able to drag his kid to either of these so he hardly paid attention to the details. And while the grownups were at it, the kids were out in the playground, making snow sculptures.

Sung Jae made a snowman. Though it didn’t look much like a snowman (but much like one pile of snow kept atop another) he was fairly satisfied with it. Sung Jae was no craftsman, and his father’s snowmen were much worse. They looked like they had walked out straight from nightmares. So he was satisfied even with the two lumps of cold snow molded together; it at least looked like something. Sung Jae walked all over the place, searching for something which might fit to pose as the snowman’s buttons. He had already fixed eyes with two stones, a nose with a bigger stone and a mouth with a wooden stick. The hands were formed with two damp branches and were loosely fixed on the snow. All in all, the lumpy snowman was perfect. All he needed were a few buttons.  He could have used stones for that too. But it didn’t come to him as very attractive. He needed something prettier and colorful. Then he was planning to use the scarf that he was wearing to wrap around his neck. After walking around for a bit, he finally located pieces of broken glass on the cobble path. He gathered them carefully in his mittened hands and walked towards the snowman in hurried steps. And that was the moment where he happened to find this girl, a classmate of his staring at the snowman with a strange look on her face. The moment she saw him there, she snapped out of her trance and averted her horror filled eyes towards his direction. There was silence for a moment, them staring at one another. A few seconds passed, and then she gave out the most blood chilling scream of human history.

That was how Sung Jae happened to find out that his classmate had a phobia of snowmen. This came to him as his newest muse. It fascinated him; her reaction, the fear inflicted in her eyes and the slightest tremble of her lips; more than that, it worried him more. If she was scared of something as tedious as snowmen; how on earth was she supposed to get through Christmas? The memories and the things he learned from the documentary simply washed into his mind. He watched her trembling in fear, how her eyes dilated and skin paled along the seconds; thus he came to a sudden resolve and clenched his fists. It was for the best of her. Sung Jae had to help her to pull through.

Recalling what he learned from the documentary that day, Sung Jae took good twenty seconds to observe her; the state of her fear and what exactly about the snowman that she feared.  It wasn’t like he could grasp anything much, certainly he wasn’t like those smart Ahjussies and Ahjummas from the TV, but he knew enough to know that the best way to help her was to make her see and meet as many as snowmen as he could. That was what they did to the Ahjussie who was scared of spiders (Sung Jae himself wasn’t entirely fond of spiders so he skipped that bit by covering his face with a sofa cushion; later his father explained that the other ahjussies took the Ahjussie who was scared of spiders to a room full of spiders. Sung Jae could say for the least that the thing couldn’t have ended so well) to help him get over his fears therefore that was what exactly he needed to do to the girl.

Meanwhile, Sung Gyu was practically drooling all over his shirt collar while Sung Jae’s home room teacher went on incessantly about the year-end schedule. Sung gyu never really gave one bit of concern about the year-end schedule all for the fact that his son didn’t care one bit about it himself, but at one point or the other he happened to learn that he should actually care enough to encourage Sung Jae to participate in school social events. Sung Gyu did come to the resolve of doing so, because he was the cool father who was concerned about his son’s social life. But then there were these moments that his body would take over his soul and decided what he should do with his mind. So it was like, if his body decided he was tired and sleepy, he was tired and sleepy. And so he tried his best to not be tired and sleepy; thus in the process of fighting the battle of day and night, Sung Gyu happened to be pulled out of his own little world by the sound of blood chilling scream of a kid. He sat straight, wiping his drool off with the back of his hand, and the entire hall of parents was in frenzy. The teacher was on her feet, scampering off to the door in a mode of panic; a parent or two were at their feet after her. Some other was exclaiming rather loudly “Oh god the kids!” and another pair was battling their way around the hall towards the door through the throng of humans. It was in the course of this that it occurred to him that his own son was somewhere out there in the stark cold ambiance.

Everything happened so fast. Sung gyu took off through the crowd in an inhuman speed, sweeping through it as though he was a fishing hook through a school of fish and finally came towards the two French windows leading into the snow-covered school garden outside. And in the garden, standing was his son, a girl and the homeroom teacher standing in between; her eyes dead fixed on his. Sung gyu took a deep breath, realization slowly dawning upon him. It was like instinct, a father’s intuition on his son; he took one deep breath and muttered through it; “Uh-oh…”

“I suppose we should talk after class” The homeroom teacher said.

*

Later that day, Eunji found herself driving off to Sung Jae’s school under her boss’s demand. She had a slightest recall of him mentioning something about parent-teacher day of the school; it was like a long gone memory buried under the sand and stones of the rest of her memories, nonetheless she didn’t mention that when she patiently responded to her boss over the phone. The snow was thick on that day and it was extremely cold. If not it was a weekday, the day was perfect for staying in bed under the covers with a mug of hot chocolate in hand. She actually had plans to do exactly that once they get to the Kim’s condominium; without Sung Gyu’s knowledge of course, so she only had to patiently wait until the whole parent-teacher ordeal would end.

She found Sung Gyu’s silver Lexus parked in a lonely corner of the vehicle parking of the school complex so she parked hers a few blocks away from it, killed the engine, turned up the radio and began to eat from a packet of salt-and-vinegar chips while she waited. A few minutes passed and she was off the scraps of the chips off her fingers when a horde of parents began to file out the building with tiny humans held by their hands. She quickly wiped the greasy hands off on her jeans, crumpled the empty bag and stuffed it into the door’s pocket before craning her head to catch a glimpse of her boss. There wasn’t a single trace of them; not even after the whole crowd of parents and kids have lessened. So when she grew impatient of waiting, Eunji pulled her beanie over her head and stepped out into the cold wind.

It took them another ten minutes to actually emerge from the confines of the school complex and Eunji was already considering driving back home at that point when Sung gyu stepped out with the boy carried in his arms. Sung Jae’s beanie was crooked on the tuft of wavy black hair on his head, and he was enthusiastically telling his father a tale of some sort, which Sung Gyu listened to, portraying equal enthusiasm as he did. Primly Eunji decided Sung Jae had made an achievement of some sort, and was preparing herself to ask the two of it when Sung Gyu noticed her and dropped his son onto the floor. “Ah, you’re here…”

Sung Jae looked up and nodded at her in acknowledgement, as though he was the leader of some cult group and she had arrived with their weekly human sacrifice; Eunji nodded back and focused her attention on Sung Gyu. “Yeah, you asked me to…”

“Is your car locked?”

Eunji gestured that it wasn’t; so Sung Gyu led his son towards the shot gun seat, opened the door for him and shut it close after buckling up Sung Jae who had found his comfort inside. Afterwards he stood up straight and met Eunji’s eyes. “I’ll be off to work; but before that, you got a moment miss Jung?”

“Uh, yeah” Eunji nodded warily and took a quick glance at her car, worried if the kid inside would murder it. Sung Gyu nodded and motioned at his own. “Can we talk for a bit?”

“Yeah sure” Eunji said, and Sung gyu began to lead her to a side, towards his vehicle with his warm palm pressed onto her back. Despite the many layers of her cloth, Eunji could prominently feel the looming warmth of his skin; he was so close that she began to feel sensations of all sorts as they walked, and was greatly relieved when he finally let her off to go and lean against the cold surface of his car, facing her. Then he began to speak.

“Sung Jae had his parent-teacher day today, to -you know- talk about year-end plans and stuff”

“Uh-huh” Eunji went with fake interest. “So what about them?”

“They aren’t the point we’re talking” Sung Gyu said rather rudely and pursed his lips, deep in thought. Eunji could see the protruding veins on his forehead and the creases under his eyes; which certainly indicated the predicament he was in, though she wasn’t sure what. And then he said, seemingly after much debate; “I take it you are well experienced on child care as per your resume?”

Though she had lied in half of her covering letter (all for the fact that she didn’t get it why Sung Gyu required a covering letter for a mere babysitting post; it wasn’t a post even, so to speak) she did believe her expertise on child care and child mentality was fairly acceptable. She also believed that she did understand Sung Jae’s state up to a certain extent, so in response to Sung Gyu’s inquiry, Eunji simply nodded in agreement. “Yes, and I have my bachelor’s degree in child psychology”

“Okay” Sung Gyu nodded and gave a ghost of a smile. “Okay…so yes. Since I too believe that you are somewhat understanding of child…mentality, there’s something we need to talk about”

“About Sung Jae” Eunji said.

“About Sung Jae” Sung Gyu responded.

“What about Sung Jae?” Eunji went on dubiously. Fo all she knew, he was simply an ordinary eight year old child. “He’s perfectly fine boss, whatever you are convinced, I am sure-,”

“He did something…mischievous today”

“Well, that’s normal”

Sung Gyu merely shrugged. “I would have overlooked it too, but the thing is…it’s not only mischief; he did it out of curiosity. Like an experiment”

“Experiment?” Eunji echoed in pathetic incredulity; and she was already having a mental image of Sung Jae in a surgical coat, sitting in a laboratory doing experiments on dead mice with his Mussolini face on. “What do you mean an experiment?”

Sung gyu took himself a moment to ponder upon the incident and began to recite to Eunji how Sung Jae had scared the living soul out of a classmate of his who was apparently scared of snowmen. Sung Jae’s intentions had been purely innocent, which his homeroom teacher had interpreted as cruelty and mischief. Sung Gyu explained how he wanted to make elucidations regarding the entire ordeal and how it could have come to happen; but homeroom teachers will remain to be homeroom teachers; which also implied their short-minded, to-the-book nature which Sung gyu couldn’t argue with. The girl, according to Sung Jae, had had a perusing fear of snowmen. Sung Jae who learned of this in the process of making a snowman himself had apparently decided to take the matters to his own hands, deciding that the girl needed help to overcome her fears and had followed what the ahjussies from the TV documentary had done to the people with phobias. Eunji listened to this half-mindedly, noting the important points as she did, trying to be none too distracted by the undone top-button of Sung Gyu’s shirt. The entire thing came to Eunji as just normal, she didn’t want to argue about it even; but she caught the utmost concern from the father’s part, and he needed help.

“So in a nutshell” Sung Gyu said, concluding his story. “Sung Jae is a curios little boy, I understand that much; but I want you to help him not to take impulsive decisions. You know, he always gets into trouble taking sudden decisions all the time; and though he’s still young, I want you to lead him right”

Eunji untangled her arms which were folded on her chest and rearranged her bangs. “So what you’re telling me is, Sung Jae should learn to make smart decisions”

“That’s basically it” Sung gyu reciprocated.

“Like a grown up…like, which kind of butter should I buy? Is low fat okay? Or…is this girly okay? Should I make her my soulmate?”

Sung Gyu stared at Eunji with his eyes widened in annoyance. He looked like he wanted murder her, possibly with a bulging humongous snowman. Yet instead of doing anything murderous, he let out a heavy sigh. “Miss Jung, you know that it isn’t what-,”

“He’s only a child boss” Eunji interjected in a grave child-specialist tone. “It goes without saying doesn’t it? Sung Jae is supposed to be mischievous. He’s supposed to explore his possibilities, he’s supposed to be curious, and he’s supposed to make impulsive decisions. He’s only eight! You can’t possibly mold him the way you want so that he’d save you the embarrassment!”

“I wouldn’t say it’s embarrassing!” Sung Gyu exclaimed in defense. “It’s just that…as his father, I don’t like to see him always caught up in trouble”

Eunji sighed, and looked up straight meeting his eyes. “You know what boss? Some parents want their kids to get into trouble…it only makes him a normal child…What I suggest is, allow him to explore. But yes, I’ll let him learn what’s wrong and what’s right, not necessarily lead him anyway. And that’s because I respect your concern. And no, I won’t shape him in any way whatsoever.”

“Fine” Sung Gyu replied, finally giving into let Eunji have her ways. “You know about kids better than I do, so-,”

“And that doesn’t mean I call you an idiot!” Eunji said unconvinced. “It’s just that…you really do think too much boss! What happened today, like you said, was Sung Jae experimenting his capacities, which is just fine! I myself believe that he’s a very intelligent child, so really, you’ve got nothing to worry about.”

“Then I take it he’s in good hands?” Sung Gyu said, smiling faintly. Eunji didn’t like to consider herself as particularly “good” and reliable; in fact, she didn’t enjoy it when she was being seen as “Good hands”, all for the fact that she felt extremely guilty to be giving others a misconception on her. But when someone did refer to her so, she just didn’t have the guts to deny them.

“I wouldn’t say no?” She just responded with a smug smile. Sung Gyu grinned back, the smile in his eyes curving them into crescent moons, and finally pushed himself off the vehicle. “Okay then…” He said and pulled his keys out of his pocket. “I’ll be going then. Take good care, okay?”

“Okay” Eunji said, and then soon, Sung Gyu was driving off through the serpentine roots, leaving her behind to her thoughts.

*

“Hyung” Woohyun’s voice erupted from the doorway of his cubicle. “Hyung, Hyung, Hyung!”

“What is it, goddamn it!”

His head was poking into the narrow confines, a strange smile on his face; and Sung Gyu considered for the nth time throwing his Styrofoam cup of hot coffee across his face. Woohyun’s been a -pain for the past thirty minutes, and with all his reports piled up to be done, he really wished he could just pack up and move into Morocco and live a happy Woohyun-free life. Sung gyu didn’t know what his problem was to begin with. He couldn’t fathom what the problem with Sung Gyu himself was either. He’s just getting angry at everyone and everything. Sung Gyu supposed that it was probably because of the whole Snowman ordeal and what with Sung Jae’s homeroom teacher had told him. He wanted to do nothing but go home and simply sleep on it.

“It’s about the Mapo bridge suicide case in Yeouido…Dong Woo says he can’t work on it” Woohyun explained from the doorway. “I don’t want to pair up with him. You free right? Want to take it up with me?”

“Don’t wanna” Sung Gyu replied halfheartedly and sat straight, detaching himself from the position of laying partially across the table. “But why not do with Dong Woo?”

Woohyun shrugged and waltzed his way into the cubicle. Sung Gyu’s personal office was no bigger than a quarter of his bathroom at home and could only contain his half-sized desk, the chair and the chest of drawers. As much as the confines of the room supplied less air to live on for good nine hours a day, Sung Gyu actually didn’t mind having company. At least it drew his attention away from the pile of barely touched case reports.

“Dong Woo’s an idiot” Woohyun went on and dropped himself into a chair in front of Sung Gyu. “He screams like a girl, literally like a girl! I’ve had enough of screaming women at home and I’d rather swallow goddamned living carps than deal with another.”

“Why does he scream?” Sung Gyu inquired finding interest in their discussion. He couldn’t understand why Dong Woo, the loud and rather hideous detective who was a year younger to him, was the center topic of the discussion, but he went with it regardless.

“Because he’s an idiot” Woohyun said begrudgingly, his face straight with no emotions. “The bastard is scared of bloody bridges! Bridges for god’s sake!”

As much as it concerned him, how Sung Jae found interest in the girl’s phobia of snowmen, when he himself learned of someone’s fear, Sung Gyu couldn’t help but be gripped and fascinated by it. He sat up straight, a mischievous smile gracing his lips and proceeded to feed his raging curiosity.

“Wait…you mean, Dong Woo is scared of bridges?”

“Yeah” Woohyun, who gave no concern whatsoever about the strange fear of his colleague, replied. “And it get’s bloody annoying. Last time, we went to the bridge with the police people, and he was clutching onto me like a teenaged girl! I honestly wanted to throw him down the damned thing”

“Really? Incredible” Sung Gyu mumbled, finding strange happiness in the newly discovered details. “So, like, what does he do when he gets scared?”

Woohyun tilted his head to a side, as if he was recalling whatever the unfortunate events he had to encounter during the case, then he said; “Well, screaming basically. And being bloody annoying. Then he said he passed out once”

“Passed out?” Sung Gyu echoed, rather delighted. “Wah! That’s…” He trailed off, and just as he did, a new thought occurred to him. He didn’t realize that he might be acting no different from his eight year old son, even if he did, he figured that interest is just what it is no matter if you were eight or thirty two. So he simply made a grab for his coat and mobile phone and turned to face his rather confused best friend. “What’ya doing?” He inquired rather incredulously. “Did hearing all that convince you to run home?”

“No” Sung gyu said, and moved around his table, squeezing himself out of the tiny space which was a rather fascinating event itself, and came to stand beside Woohyun who was still muddled by Sung Gyu’s sudden reaction. “You know what? I’ll take up the case with Dong Woo…you can help me finish the reports…how’s the offer?”

Woohyun stared at him dumbly, his eyes dilated ten times as bigger as their normal size and finally shook his head. “What the hell? You’re supposed to do it with me! Hyung!!”

“But I am giving you a better choice!”

Woohyun seemed to consider this for a moment, deep in his thoughts and finally got up on his feet. “No can do. I can’t be left with no work! Screw stupid Dong Woo, I’ll just do it…”

“B-but…Woohyun-ah…” Sung gyu cried, utterly dejected. “I gave you a-,”

“It’s unfair and you’re an idiot” Woohyun said simply and scampered his way towards the door. “You do the reports yourself Hyung, I’m going off…”

With that, he disappeared out the cubicle door, leaving the disheartened Sung Gyu behind with his thoughts. Being rejected of a case was as bad as having his child being called a nuisance (The latter was worse, in his thoughts) and the two happening to him all at once on a single day was bad enough to utterly ruin his mood. He didn’t feel like he could work on his reports anymore, and Woohyun’s doing was a kill-joy. So after giving everything much thought, he began to make his way towards the door on his own. If things weren’t working out the way he wanted them to, Sung gyu supposed that he might as well go home and really just sleep on it.

*

Meanwhile, over at the Kim’s condominium, Sung Jae and Eunji sat in the sofa seat, huddled under a checkered quilt with a mug of hot chocolate in their hands while some sappy drama went on the plasma screen TV. The drama was about some school kid who was in love with this girl who was apparently an angel and at that moment the two were in a battle of snotty waterworks which Sung Jae seemed to find great interest in. Eunji was bored, and didn’t want to join in with Sung Jae’s drama parade. Nevertheless she was left with no option; staying huddled under a quilt on a winter evening was much important to her than anything else so she just watched the crying pair in silence.

“That’s very lame” She commented when the high school kids in the drama started crying as well. “Back when I was in high school, I didn’t cry with corny boys, I kicked their stupid arses”

“Money to the swear jar” Sung Jae said halfheartedly, still concentrating on the TV. Eunji just scowled at him, drained the rest of the content in her mug and took a peek at the one of Sung Jae to find it all empty.

“You sure are multi-tasking, kid” She commented, to which Sung Jae responded with a hum, and took the mug in her hand. Then she proceeded to detangle herself from the layers of the quilt, which was quite complicated to say the least, almost tripped and fell on her face but escaped the mess nevertheless, then trotted her way into the kitchen. There was a pile of cups and containers mount in the sink which needed immediate attention, and since she found no interest in angels and high-school kids weeping snottily in television sets, she turned up the tap which made a loud crashing noise in the sink and proceeded to wash them while singing on top of her lungs by herself.

Once she was done, Eunji neatly placed the dishes in the dishwasher, rearranged the kitchen, wiped each and every counter and put in a handful of coins into the swear jar (Which has probably thousand Won worth of coins from her part) and trotted back into the living room, in hopes that Sung Jae’s Angel-human drama had ended already. But what she happened to find there were two wavy dark haired heads sticking out from a massive ball covered in a quilt, and voices mumbling subtly over the hum of the TV. At first she was taken by surprise by the sudden arrival of an intruder, but then she happened to notice the winter jacket strewn across the headrest and figured that her boss had arrived home early. It also meant that she had to return home early as well, which annoyed her immensely.

“What are you doing here?” She asked at the top of her voice, garnering the attention of the father and the son, not caring that she was openly being rude to her boss, and the said boss twisted his head, an expression which was something close to that of someone who had been caught making out on the couch was painted on his face. “What? Am I in the wrong house? Is this not my son?”

Eunji could hear Sung Jae giggle from his spot in the sofa, a scene strikingly similar to a couple caught in the act, and his face emerged from the back of the seat. Sung Gyu put up a stupid pained look and gawked at her, which in turn made her feel nauseous. She gawked back, heat coming up to her cheeks in anger in a rush, and after a moment of complete silence, she began to whine the loudest that her voice could octave to.

“WHY-DID-YOU-COME-BACK-SO-EARLY!” She stomped around as she screamed, her eyes angled heaven wards, and if not for the rather shocking effect of the entire outbreak, Sung Gyu would have found it amusing. She stomped her feet until she felt that she had done so enough and pouted her lips. “I can’t go home early and Nams are at work so I’d have to be stranded somewhere on the road until they come pick me, by which time I’ll be dead somewhere on the road and you’ll be responsible…just why!?!”

Sung gyu just stared at her, still not over the initial shock and hopped off the sofa from the side of the arm rest. Then he wordlessly went and made a grab for his winter jacket, put it on while Sung Jae followed his doing and ran off to find a jacket for himself. Eunji just watched all this, angered and confused, and when the boy came running out of his room, all dressed up to go out, Eunji lost her composure.

“What on earth are y’all doing?”

Sung Gyu finally decided it was the moment for him to speak, so he raised his head from wrapping the knitted scarf around his son’s neck and threw a smile at his baby sitter’s general direction. “We, Miss Jung, are going to pay a visit to dear Mister Quick-quack…” a grin, and he turned back to his son; “Though he’s probably flapping around in Jeju now” Sung Jae’s eyes brightened in fascination. “Migrating!”

“That’s right” Sung gyu said with a laugh, and at this point, Eunji was completely lost, thus she went. “Mister what? What the hell is going on?”

Sung Gyu turned back to her, looking perturbed and gave her a glare. “To the park”

“Then what about me? I have no way to go home!”

Sung Gyu sighed, rolled his eyes, and being as patient as he could be he said in a voice which was much similar to that of her old principle at high-school; “As much as I am tempted to leave you stranded on the road, Miss Jung, I am taking you along with me, because I hate to hear Nam Woohyun nag”

Deterred by Sung Gyu’s unacceptable behavior and having nothing to do about it, Eunji just gave a defeated sigh. “At least you’re thoughtful”

“I’d appreciate it if you speak less” Sung Gyu said.

She rolled her eyes and went off to locate her coat, and once she had done so, the three of them were off to meet whatever the mister (In Eunji’s perception) thing was doing there in the darn cold evening in a goddamned park at this time of the season.

*

Mister Quick-quack, as it turned out, was a duck. Eunji had no idea how the two may have located a duck for themselves and actually had gone so far as naming it as well as telling it apart from the rest of the damned ducks; that aside, Eunji wasn’t particularly enjoying their petty conversations about the bird.

Sung Gyu and Sung Jae were discussing how ducks migrate southwards during the winter season while the three walked down the cobble path of the park. It must be minus degrees as Eunji assumed (though it’s probably wrong) and Eunji could hardly feel her feet in her snow boots. There was a heavy white cloud forming whenever she breathe through and an unlimited amount of it from Sung Gyu and Sung Jae. It was nice when Sung Gyu was taking his role as a father seriously, but it was quite disturbing that all that they could talk about was ducks.

After quite a walk, the three arrived at an open expanse where there was a children’s play area. The items were shiny and new, and Eunji could almost recall her younger days, and that lasted until she noticed them, the slides.

If there was anything that she was scared of after Nam Woohyun’s mother, was the slide set. There were her darkest memories from her deep dark past which deliberately kept her from going near one of them. It was like a curse for her, like the witch’s house for Hansel and Gretel, like the big bad wolf for the three little pigs; she hated it so much that she had, at one point of her life, avoided going to kid’s play areas altogether. Things have changed to a certain extent now, but not entirely; Eunji still wouldn’t go near a goddamned slide.

But much to her chagrin, Sung Jae was there, happily climbing through the mazes of the slide set with a face full of delight, Sung Gyu following him with every move he made.

Sung Jae had to get down that goddamned thing, or Eunji had to move away before she would get called towards it. She was, at one point, pondering all the ways and means of sneakily slithering her way out of the park when Sung Gyu suddenly called out her name.

She turned towards their direction, only to be greeted by the most outrageous sight of the century; Sung gyu, Kim Sung Gyu was sliding down the slide with Sung Jae between his legs. Eunji could tell that he was calling her over for something equally crazy, and doubtlessly involving the slides. She wanted to escape, run away or just scream she ing hated the ing slides. But then her pride was winning over all her fears. Eunji took a deep breath and walked over to the slides.

“Sung Jae wants to make a human sandwich on the slide” Sung gyu said rather seriously, as though it was a global concern. Sung Jae nodded following his father’s words, and in turn, Eunji wanted to die.

“A w-what?” Eunji stuttered, appalled.

“A human sandwich” Sung Gyu repeated in his serious-detective tone as though they were referring to a universal crisis, Eunji was half expecting him to make it a national issue and bring his SWAT officers over to the park. “You know, I slide down, then Sung Jae does, then you?”

Eunji who didn’t want to let her weakness show, let out a loud scoff. “Tch, how childish”

Sung Gyu didn’t say anything, instead he just glared, the kind of a glare he’d give to Sung Jae before he’d make trouble in crowd which made Eunji feel even more miserable. Sung Gyu glowering at her apparently hurt her pride. And her pride mattered to her the most.

“Okay fine” She muttered through her gritted teeth and made her way through the heavy layers of snow. The slide set consisted of steps and ladders and even one of these twisted yellow slides and a canal. Eunji hated those canals, the twisted once even more so, yet the normal slides were still the worse.

Eunji could already feel goosebumps raising on her skin and then her heart in as though she was about to hop down an airplane. Needless to say how her thick head was leading her into it, feigning ignorance on her childhood fears. Slowly, while also feeling Sung Gyu’s glowering eyes following her moves, she made it to the opposite end of the set and climbed up the wooden steps. The floorboards creaked under the heel of her boot, and she walked in a hunch that the ends of her scarf was being dragged along the dampness. At the end of the board and the beginning of the slide, Eunji took one deep breath and closed her eyes. She was the first one going down, as it seemed to her, which was even worse, all for the fact that she’d have to slide down a greater length. On the foot of it, she prayed under her breath; don’t look down, don’t look down, don’t ing look down-!

Sung Jae giggled from below her, and Eunji looked down. The past memories of herself came tumbling on her as would a kid down the bloody slide, and before even she could stop herself, she plopped down the foot of the slide, and the heel of her boot slipped which sent her sliding southwards the goddamned slide. Eunji could swear she could have died, which she didn’t but ended up on her bum in the cold damp snow. Sung Gyu and Sung Jae were watching from above her, both of them surprised, but even worse, trying not to burst out laughing. Eunji had never felt so vulnerable and scared in her life. So Eunji began to cry.

Sung Gyu on the other hand, couldn’t understand what just got into her. He was just planning to shower her with snow balls when she’d make the grand entrance through the slide to relieve his stress and the like; however, the last thing he expected Eunji to end up doing was starting her water works. Sung Gyu was flabbergasted. In fact, he couldn’t even believe that Eunji could actually cry, that she ever did. If not for the fact that he should be concerned, Sung gyu could have actually found it fascinating.

Eunji, despite herself, however, was crying like a five year old. Her screaming was loud and stupid, her face was all snotty and disturbing. Sung Gyu stared at her while she still sat on her bum, crying; scowled, reached into his pocket and produced a handkerchief for her. Sung Jae who was silent through this, when his father crouched down to hand the handkerchief, said; “Baby sitter is scared of slides”

Then it occurred to him, as though it was a Eureka moment for him. A slow, sly smile spread across his lips and he lowered down to the level as of Eunji. She was blowing her nose at that point, and did not appreciate it when Sung gyu was watching her.

“What?” She asked, after she was done with her wailing. Eunji was immensely embarrassed, even more so by the thought of her fears being revealed right before his eyes, and the last thing she wanted was having him staring down on her. Which he didn’t seem to stop. And then there was Sung Jae too, just sitting and staring. She wished she could melt like one of those snowmen.

Then suddenly, Sung gyu burst out laughing.

He was laughing and laughing and laughing so hard that he fell over on his bum onto the snow, then he went on laughing and Sung Jae followed. It wasn’t that Sung gyu found Eunji crying as amusing; she was a girl and he wouldn’t do that to her. It was only that, after going on circles with peoples’ phobias, him and Sung Jae together, there they were, finally meeting and experiencing the phobia of someone much closer to them for real. After all the troubles and after all the heart-aches (Truly, they were) Sung Gyu and Sung Jae finally managed to fill their curiosity. It wasn’t that her fear was funny, no, it wasn’t. But they were funny, the three of them.

Eunji, however, was convinced otherwise. She of course, had no idea what was running in their petty head, thus assuming that they were making fun of her predicament, and immensely angered by her own misconception, she felt her tears welling up in her eyes again. Sung Gyu was cruel. And following his footsteps, his son was being cruel too, and she hated them. Thus, without a single word and not allowing them to see her falling tears, Eunji covered her face with both her hands and stomped off through the snow to somewhere away from the two. She needed to be alone.

It took Sung Gyu longer than necessary to realise that what he just did to Eunji was wrong and unfair. After all the silly studies he did on people and what they were scared of, it wasn’t fair that he found that  moment to fall on his , laughing. Although his true intentions weren’t making fun of her, it was the wrong reaction at the wrong time. But he didn’t want to talk to her about it yet. She semed that she needed a moment to get her head around things and settle down. Therefore, after she had gone on her way, he told Sung Jae that they should apologise to her sometime and led him to play in the slides once more.

Eunji walked through the thick layers of cold snow and perched herself down on one of the swings. The surface of the seat of stiff cold and she could feel it through the material of her jeans, she remained there nevertheless and silently watched them as Sung Gyu and Sung Jae played around. Eunji waned to hate them, despise them and never want to see them again; but she knew, more than anything herself, that if it was what she needed to believe, it was a complete lie to herself. Eunji loved being with them, she loved their company and they have become a significant part of herself in this short span of time. She figured then, it was the only plausible reason why she was immensely hurt by what just happened. Her fear wasn’t much of a big deal and she had been made fun of myriad times, having worked at a day-care centre herself, it was only that she was embarrassed, breaking down infront of someone whom she was convinced should only see the strong and tough side of herself. For some reason that was what she needed to show him, as if she was seeing him as someone who wasn’t as strong as he seemed. She was hurt that he wasn’t seeing her trying to take a grip of herself. For some reason, it hurt her heart.

Snow began to fall harder as she watched Sung Jae trying to climb up the stoop of the slide and Sung Gyu encouraged him by pushing him up with his bum. He’d slip down eventually and they would roll around laughing before trying again. Sung Jae looked like a kitten slipping down a snowy roof in her eyes. With his chubbiness and cheeky laughter; Sung Jae was a pleasure to watch. And then there was Sung gyu, a grown man with a child still within himself. He finally managed to lead his son all the way up to the top of the slide from the very bottom, then they cheered loudly as if it was a real accomplishment. Despite being completely ridiculous, Eunji didn’t mind it. She felt better somehow. And when Sung gyu laughed and held his son lovingly in both his arms, the child flailing around while his father kissed him all over his face, Eunji could swear that her hurt vanished completely. Her heart skipped a beat, and her mind was at peace. It was that kind of an effect that they had on her.

Moments later she realized that Sung gyu was locking eyes with her. His face changed from that of happiness to one with concern, and soon he was making his way towards her through the snow. It didn’t take long for him to come and sit down in the swing next to hers. In the silence that they basked in for a few seconds, the creak of the swings was resonant. After a while then, although Eunji was thinking he would earnestly apologise, based on how he looked, Sung gyu simply turned into the jerk he was and said;

“As much as I want to laugh at you right now, Jung Eunji, I feel sorry for you”

Eunji averted her eyes to his direction, thinking he was kidding her, and saw that he wasn’t. her anger boiled up again.

“You jerk” She said and stood up to go away. But before she could do so herself, Sung gyu’s hand wrapped around her wrist in a flash and slowly led her back to sit down. “Come on, I’m kidding you, okay?”

“Whatever” Eunji hissed and pulled her hand away from him. Then she sat down properly and said. “Whatever you did, it wasn’t funny”

“I wasn’t laughing at you” He said.

“Oh yeah? Then who else? Sung Jae? Or the ing duck who had migrated to ing Jeju?”

“Money to the swear jar” Sung Gyu said naturally and carried on. “I was laughing at myself, honestly”

Eunji let out a loud scoff. “Like I would believe you, you were laughing at me”

“It was a crazy day for me you know” Sung Gyu went on as though he didn’t notice Eunji’s raging anger. “I had an argument with Woohyun for something incredibly stupid, and-,”

“Yah” Eunji said and fully turned herself to her boss. “Look at me”

Sung Gyu sighed and did as he was told. “What?”

“What do you see?”

Sung Gyu, trying not to laugh, replied. “You”

“No!” Eunji whined in frustration and pointed a finger at her face. “This! This is the face of ignorance. I’m ignoring you. See? I’m ignoring you!”

She turned away from him, trying her best to ignore him and began to slowly swing back and forth. Sung Gyu was watching her, completely amused and wanting to fall into hysterics. But then a cold wind blew across them, bringing Eunji’s hair to her face as she swung. She slowed down, tucked her hair behind her ear, and Sung Gyu went on watching her.

He wasn’t amused anymore. He could feel his heart skip so suddenly. Eunji looked so pretty just now, doing what she did.

So Sung Gyu reached over and shoved her down the swing that she fell on her onto the snow.

“You jerk!” She screamed from where she was. “You-you-!”

“I’m sorry” Sung Gyu blurted out, and not laughing anymore.

Eunji stopped herself from screaming then. He looked genuinely regretful, like he did actually mean it that he was. Eunji softened, gradually, and she looked down into her palms because she suddenly felt bad that she was being rude to her boss again. “Oh” she said, and bit down her lip. Her heart was in for some reason. The moment, for her, was extremely weird.

And then Sung Gyu slid off the swing and sat on the floor beside her. There was a thick white smoke coming out as he spoke.

“I’m really sorry about before…” he said, and his voice was the only sound in the silent park. “I wasn’t laughing at you, honestly. I had a tough day, and just in the morning, the home room teacher called my son a nuisance, said that he needed special attention and be punished for his behavior. He was only trying to help, for god’s sake! I was angered too, not at him but at myself for having done that to him. It’s my fault that he had to grow up without a mother. And for a child like that, I don’t know. Sung Jae is perfectly fine for me. How could any parent bare it when some stranger call their son a burden? He was just…experimenting things. He didn’t mean harm at all. And then I had a stupid, stupid argument with Woohyun, so I came home. I think…I think it was why I needed some relief you know…and that’s probably why I did that.” He cleared his throat then, and looked up to meet her eyes. “Although I might have hurt your feelings just now, Thank you for giving me a good laugh. I feel a lot better now, thank you.”

Through the course of his explanation, Eunji’s mind happened to drift away while hearing his voice in her head was the only indication that she was still there. In fact, she could hear only him; stark, resonant and clear like a hymn on a Christmas day. Her eyes was focused on Sung Jae who was making another snow man on his own. His chubby little hands were boving about in an attempt to shape the structure the way he desired, and then he’d run off to locate a piece of stick or stones to form the appearance of a snowman. As she watched, she realized just how tough things must have been for Sung gyu. Sung Jae had indeed grown up so well. According to what she remembered, Sung Jae had been only a month old when he was abandoned at their doorstep. Eunji’s sister’s baby was four months old now, and was still giving so much of troubles and sleepless nights. She couldn’t imagine how it must have been like for Sung gyu to bring up a month old child without a mother. She needed to be understanding in that case. He was indeed doing a tough task. And maybe gratified even, that he had actually found pleasure in her to laugh at. It wasn’t a bad thing after all. Laughing was a lot better than judging her for it. His laughter was so beautiful too, like sunshine. And this thought made her feel much better.

“It’s okay then” Eunji said after a while, after his explanation was over. The cold win hit point blank on her face as she looked ahead. “I don’t mind you laughing at me….” Then she took a moment to arrange her thoughts and added in a small voice. “The truth is, I am bloody scared of slides”

“I know” Sung Gyu replied without a beat. “Paled face, trembling and crying…you have a phobia of slides”

“Eiee, you make it sound like a sickness” Eunji complained. “Ah, just forget-,”

“Why though?” Sung Gyu asked, suddenly finding interest in it. “People get scared of things for a reason…there’s a back story…”

Eunji looked at the slide before them and let out a sigh. “Back stories are magical things you know…That’s exactly what you need to know when you want to know a person well” She turned back to him and smiled. “Back stories”

“Hmm?”

“It isn’t a big deal really” Eunji went on, feeling slightly embarrassed. “It’s just this stupid thing from childhood…”

“I don’t mind stupid” Sung gyu said with a grin. “After all, it’s you”

Eunji just smiled and began. “Well, when I was a like, ten or so, people at my school used to hate me. I was…bullied a lot, I’d say? Like, my parents weren’t very well off and I always wore Eunmi’s old clothes which were old and oversized, so they called me dirty and poor. So when they do this, I run off from the rest and hide under the slide. It’s where I eat and just spend my time and stuff. One day it was raining a lot so I couldn’t sit under the slight to eat. The slide set had this-“ She gestured with her hands to form a roof. “-A roof kind of a thing and the rain didn’t get there. So I sat under the roof with my feet down the slide and I was eating. Then thses bullies found me there and I didn’t know it. One pushed me down and it was raining so I slipped with the food still in my hands. I fell into a puddle of mud, and my lunch was ruined. I cried a lot but the bullies just left me there….” At this point, by hook or my crook, Eunji had begun to cry. There were tears in her eyes which she didn’t know to have emerged and let out a sob before she could stop herself. Sung Gyu was watching her; calm and composed, and this gave her strength. She carried on. “I don’t know…it just stayed with me and I grew this fear of slides. They used to be my only refuge and then they turned their back on me. They just always remind me of that day…so I’m just scared…scared that I will be alone again like I was that day…”

After she had finished, she was a crying wreck. Eunji was feeling quite open and vulnerable; but for some reason she didn’t mind. It was Sung Gyu, a father who had gone through loads of hardships himself. Eunji just felt so protected and cared for. She felt like a child herself. Sung gyu reached over and patted on her back in a soothing manner. She blew her nose into the handkerchief he gave her before and said. “Eunji, it’s not stupid at all”

“I’m sorry” She muttered through her teary voice?

“What for? Eyee, I’m not heatless okay? I have a child that age and I completely understand you…”

“And thank you” Eunji added afterwards.

“And why is that?”

She looked up then, and finally managed to give him one charming smile. “For laughing back then”

“Eh?”

“And now, I wouldn’t feel alone if I go down a slide again, because I will always remember the jerk who laughed at me when I cried”

Sung Gyu took a moment to get his head around what she said, and when he figured that she just called him a jerk for the nth time that day, she was already on her feet. “Yah, jung Eunji!”

She just laughed, ran off and when she was where Sung Jae was, cuddling him from behind, she called out and said. “Come on! We’ll make the human sandwhich now”

Sung gyu laughed and felt his heavy heart getting lighter by the seconds which passed. Truth to be told, Sung gyu was happy. He didn’t care that people called Sung Jae a nuisance or that he had stupid arguments with his best friend, because he knew, at the end, everything would fall back into place and he would be surrounded by the people whom he loved.

Still he had no idea why that Jung Eunji was suddenly one of them.

*

A week later, Sung gyu returned home to find a foul smell wafting around in his condominium. He didn’t remember something so horrid from that morning he left, so scrunching his nose as he did, Sung gyu took off his shoes, put on his house slippers, removed his winter jacket and then noticed that Eunji still hadn’t left from work.

What the hell was she doing so late? Usually when Sung gyu would phone her to inform that he was on his way home, she would pack up and leave because she wasn’t supposed to drive when it was late, so he found it quite surprising to find her still at home.

And then the foul smell…

He could hear the television blasting from the living room and Sung Jae’s giggles. Then suddenly Eunji’s voice was screeching along a girl group song; Sung Gyu was so petrified that it was a dying hyena and he almost banged his head on a nearby wall. Angered that they were doing ridiculous things while he was away, Sung gyu stomped his way into the living room.

Only to be greeted by a sudden hit of such strong fear and in his opinion, the enigma of the death.

“Bow wow wow!”

Sung gyu froze, unable to fathom what was happening in his peaceful apartment and his life, pressed a hand on his chest, and when the devilish thing lunged towards him, Sung gyu began to scream and yell profanities like he had lost his head, ran into the kitchen and climbed up on the kitchen table like a girl.

There was a dog in his house. A ing dog. After years of not bringing a single four legged living organism near his doorstep, there was a dog barking in his house.

Sung gyu wanted rip his head off, stomp on it and put himself on fire. More than that though, how the hell did a ing dog get into his house?

Then the only person who could be the only suspect emerged from the doorway of the kitchen, followed by Sung Jae who was crawling on his all fours like he did when he was eight months old. Sung gyu who was enraged by the entire ludicrous ordeal, pointed an accusing finger at the dog.

“Who...who let this devil into my house!!!”

Eunji looked up at his boss and an expression of amusement took up her face. “What’s all this fuss about?”

“The devil! Who brought that little devil into my house?”

“Who?” Eunji went, and Sung Jae was giggling at his spot on the floor. “Dal? Dal is not a devil!”

Sung gyu looked at Eunji, his eyes widened and skin paled, he looked as if he had seen a ghost. Then he looked at his son, then back at Eunji, then at his son who happened to giggle even louder and yell “Appa is scared of dogs!”

He just stared at the child incredulously and pointed a finger at him too. “You, you don’t dare-!”

Sung Jae crawled off to Eunji and touched the dogs head. It seemed to be enjoying all the attention and Sung gyu wanted to cry. “No! Sung Jae-ah! It will eat you alive!”

Eunji just sighed, looked up and gave him one long glare before saying loud and clear; “As much as I want to laugh at you, boss, I feel really sorry for you”

“Eh?”

But before he could even form a reply, Eunji had lifted the devilish animal in her hands and stomped out of the kitchen. There was only Sung Jae left there, and he knew that his daddy, by his looks, was going to skin him alive.

“Kim Sung Jae-!”

“Not me! Halmeoni told her!” said the child and flew out of the kitchen confines, leaving Sung Gyu still standing on the table like a girl, because Sung Gyu had a phobia of dogs. Period.

Remind me to do a christmas special please!