It's never too early for christmas! Sorry it took too long.

It was snowing heavily outside, thick layers of snow was piled up on window sills, and only the tires of the vehicles could be seen, while they remained looking much like mountain tops. There was no snow neither vehicles covered from it around the Kim’s residence nevertheless since they lived on the seventh floor and they hadn’t anything to refer to as a proper window. The cold was getting to them however, while Sung Gyu and Sung Jae slept soundly huddled under the quilt.

It was a strange Saturday morning to begin with. There was the heavy snowing outside, and there was the foul stench of body odor and something else wafting around the room. There were clothes strewn about on the carpet and the floor, a half- Sung Gyu was whining his protests, still partially asleep while his phone kept vibrating on the nightstand.

He was cold, and he couldn’t figure out why. Only Sung Jae’s body heat was giving him warmth, and then his head, it was hurting as though he had just been pounded on by thousand hammers. His stomach was churning too, and his mouth was sore. All in all, he was in the worse condition he could have ever been.

With a grunt, he woke up, and with his eyes still shut, Sung gyu blindly searched for his mobile phone in wherever his hand could reach. Then he buried his face in the covers once more and grunted into the phone in a low, husky voice as though sleep had murdered him; “Hello?”

It was his mother on the other side, and she sounded angry for a reason he couldn’t put his fingers on. “Kim Sung Gyu you irresponsible child! At least pick up when your mother calls!”

His mother’s outrage pulled him out of his half-conscious dreams, and with great difficulty, his head still pounding, Sung Gyu sat up and muttered, a hand pressed onto his temple as he did. “Omma?”

“Are you at home?” She asked, this time a little gently and let out a heavy sigh. “Sung gyu, you need to be more responsible…”

He was confused. He tilted his head to a side, glanced at his son still napping beside him and stared back ahead. “Is-is anything wrong?”

“Of course! Everything is wrong!” His mother began to yell again, returning to her angered self. “How could you be so irresponsible? You are a father now!”

“B-but-?” Sung gyu couldn’t fathom what was going on all of a sudden. In fact, he didn’t want to figure things out. His head was heavy, his stomach was churning, there was a soaring taste in his mouth and his mind was beginning to fail, he needed sleep.

His mother sounded even more irritated. “How many times have I told you to be more careful of what you do! Your father and I are greatly disappointed in you, Sung gyu”

“But what have I done wrong!?!” Sung gyu cried when he couldn’t take it anymore, since in his opinion, it wasn’t fair to be blamed for being irresponsible when he didn’t even know what had gone wrong. At least he deserved to know something.

There was silence from his mother’s side, and there was heavy breathing, as though she was a bull ready to break in through the gates. He could almost imagine her nose flaring, pupils dilating and fists gripped on her sides; but then again he couldn’t figure out why. “Omma?” He said into his phone, and in return she yelled back, her voice ripping through his ears breaking into his skull and crashing onto his brain like a life bullet;

“Kim Sung gyu, you forgot your son and came home dead drunk, you forgot the midnight prayers, you forgot it for heaven’s sake!”

“What?”

There was silence, and then in a dark, scary voice she said; “You forgot that it’s Christmas today”

In a frenzy, Sung Gyu noticed his son asleep beside him, Sung Jae’s and his clothes strewn about, himself in his underwear and the heavy reek of alcohol and perspiration in the room. Snippets of memory from the night before began to slowly emerge in his mind in flash as though it was a movie in slides, just sudden flashes of images of himself, of Sung Jae, of the guys from the station, of Eunji, the Christmas tree, light bulbs at his colleague’s house and finally his mother’s phone call. Something sore raised up his throat and as though it was a rocket hitting on his head, the worst one of his memories from night before hit him hard.

Lips, soft, sour and sugary against his own.

“” he replied.

*

…The previous night…

Since they were probably the only employed people of the entire Korean peninsula who did not get themselves a break on Christmas Eve (Which probably wasn’t entirely true either), Sung gyu and the rest of the members of his team decided to throw a party of their own. It was a spontaneous decision which Sung Yeol, the loud one with loads of siblings, made without even getting the team leader’s consent. Howon, the team leader was uptight and boring, standing behind his false manly image. It was difficult for him to earn anyone’s liking towards him unless he would really project his dance-loving, purple-sock-and-jersey-collecting self to the others. This other side of him was no secret, ever since his mother paid a visit during chuseok and enthralled everyone with his wondrous tales. Regardless of his multi-personality condition, however, it was out of a common deal that they decided to not inform him before hand and take the Christmas-break matters to their hands.

Sung Gyu being Sung gyu, didn’t care enough to get involved in their no-goodness schemes. He locked himself up in his cubicle, played thirty-seconds-to-mars blasting on his phone and calmly completed all his case reports, giving no regards to the hoo-ha going on out-side. He wasn’t in the mood for anything else other than napping all day, particularly on the cold winter days; so for him, the best choice happened to be completing his work and returning home as early as he could so that he could have a nap before going for the midnight-prayers with his parents. But much for his agitation, Woohyun would barge in whenever he very well pleased with that stupid smile on his face which Sung Gyu really wished he could slap off his face, and fill him in on the current plans and the status of the party. He’d just give him a lowly, uninterested grunt, or would gesture with his hands to get out, at one point he even considered throwing whatever his hands reached onto his face too. In the end, nevertheless, Woohyun came in with the last resort of plopping down on Sung Gyu’s table, biting on a twizzler and looking bored while the former worked.

“You should live under a rock Hyung” He commented after a while, the twizzler hanging down his teeth. “So boring…look at you, just working your out on Christmas Eve”

“Shut up, Nam Woo Hyun” Sung Gyu said, his eyes focused on the screen. On his phone there was heavy rock music blasting out. “Don’t you have anything better to do?”

“Tch” Woohyun rolled his eyes. “You don’t even have time for your best friend! All you think about is work, work and work. All you do is also work, work and…well, sleep”

Sung Gyu sighed and turned around on his turning chair before focusing his eyes on his colleague, who was now deeply engrossed in observing the textures of the candy in his hands. “Look. I’m tired, and I want to go home”

Woohyun kept looking down at the twizzler, his feet dangling down the table. “You’re always tired and always want to go home”

“Well, I have a child!”

Silence, and then. “Well, yeah…so you don’t spare some time for friends”

Sung Gyu shook his head in frustration. “Woohyun, you know it isn’t true”

“Then what is?”

There was silence again, and Sung Gyu just sat there, head tilted to a side, just thinking. The truth was, It has been ages since Sung Gyu and Woohyun really hung out as proper best friends. They’d been so since college, and decided to join the same agency and also the very same team; they did so much together that when things changed and when Sung Gyu had slowly drifted away to the realities of his own bombarded life, things seemed so far away, almost unnatural, almost intangible and unreachable. And Sung gyu honestly didn’t want that. He had also realized that these were the only few years they were spending together before the others get married and move along with their lives. Woohyun was right. He needed to spend more time with his friends. Woohyun especially, before it got too late.

And it was Christmas eve, the time to spend with family and friends. Though he was supposed to spend it with his parents and his son as per every Christmas Eve they did, it was possible for him to make it an exception, at least, for just once. It wasn’t every day that he would get the opportunity to spend this time of his life, therefore he could concoct something, and he could find a way. Sung gyu looked at Woohyun and saw the pleading in his eyes. His wishes and hopes to spend the night with his best friend was more than evident for him. He could spend the Christmas Eve with his parents forever, but with his friends, the prospects of it was not so much.

Finally Sung gyu decided to make up his mind. After all, he was still young and he still had time for his family, but he could never be certain how long he had to mess around with Woohyun. He had to do this for him.

“Fine then” Sung Gyu said, and took a quick glance out the window at the snowy surroundings outside, then he allowed a slight smile to spread across his lips. “Fine…I’ll come with you”

When Woohyun stopped chewing on his twizzler and gave him the widest, and the most endearing smile ever, Sung gyu could say that it was the happiest he had ever seen him since a long, long time.

*

Going out with friends didn’t exactly sound like a plan as it did for Sung gyu, to his very less elated parents. In fact, they were quite heart-broken, especially since Sung gyu was busy the whole time that he had hardly visited them for quite a while. And when Sung gyu arrived at his parents’ house and announced that he wouldn’t be able to stay in for Christmas, his mother rushed over to him and held his hand in both of hers, staring up at him with pleading eyes. Sung Jae, of course, was going to stay with them, which made them feel more than happy than they could ask for. But Sung gyu was their only son; not even his sister could make it to Seoul that year and they could barely bear to not have either of their children with them on the Christmas Eve.

“But Sung gyu-ah…” His mother went on, trying to reason with him. “We haven’t seen you for months! Can’t you push back your plans and spend time with your family?”

Sung gyu was in a slump. Of course he wouldn’t mind spending Christmas with his family. But for some reason, he wasn’t exactly feeling like he was up to beef steak and vine and family cuddles on the sofa watching the movie of the day. Sung Gyu needed something to kick off on. Something fun, something his still-young soul would enjoy. Something, not Sung Gyu the father but Sung gyu the bachelor would find himself in. It was as though Woohyun and his party plans had seeded something inside him. And what was more was that he wanted it. For once in his life.

“But I spend Christmas with family every year omma” Sung gyu said, allowing the warmth of his mother’s hands to warm the cold ones of his. “Besides, I promise I will return home before the prayers…”

Sung Gyu’s mother, however, wasn’t buying it. “I don’t know…son. I don’t feel I can trust you to return for prayers”

But of course. Sung gyu wasn’t the most religious person out there. He quickly thought of an excuse.

“That’s because I’m tired!” He said, widening his already teary eyes. “How can any human being visit the church at twelve in the night omma?”

She just raised her brows and shook her head. “I can’t believe you. At least, if you’re not coming to the church with us-“

“Okay!” Sung gyu bellowed, and tried to force a grin to cover for his sudden outburst. “Okay…omma. I promise. I will be back by midnight”

Sung Gyu’s mother looked at him, pursed her lips and just waited for a while, watching him in an uncomfortable silence. It was as though she was judging him. After a while then, she said. “Then I’ll keep Sung Jae’s gift wrapped”

Sung Gyu had to decline his mother offering to make him dinner earlier because he was receiving relentless phone calls from Woohyun and the other work-station buddies. It was with quite a heavy heart that he left that night, it bothered him to see the worry in his mother’s eyes. His father, of course was understanding as always, claiming that he would take good care of his grandson, when he pulled out from the driveway, nonetheless, he could see Sung Jae watch him go from the up stair window of his old room. Sung Gyu could feel his heart cringe at the sight, his small silhouette seemed even smaller from the narrow opening of the window. He almost got down and ran to him, changing his mind but only, he didn’t have to, because Sung Jae was waving at him; even to the distance he was in, Sung gyu still could see him smile.

The so-called Christmas Eve party of theirs was held somewhere in Haundae, more on the suburban sides at this rowdy little apartment that Myung Soo lived in. Myung Soo, the silent weird one who recently joined the station had always been the biggest mystery to them all. The word was that he had only recently migrated to Korea after his long stay in Tokyo. Sung Yeol liked to think that he was an actor who had been thrown off out of the entertainment arena after being caught for being homoual, but everyone knew that it was a tale he’d made up for his own benefit. Regardless of that, it’s quite controversial that he lived alone in a rowdy apartment which had only a single sofa set, an old bed and a tiny kitchenette (they recently found out it also had an attached bathroom with a leaking drainage) and even more so when all his walls were covered in bright colored graffiti, with words like “El stigmeteiser” which god knew what it meant. Sung Gyu personally thought he belonged to a gang of some sort. But then he realized that Myung Soo was a police officer, much like himself, and police people don’t necessarily worked for gangs. Finally he concluded that he worked as a double agent of some sort. Myung Soo himself thought none of it about himself. He only liked to believe that he very much projected the likings of the animation character L, and liked to call him so as well.

When Sung Gyu finally managed to squeeze in his vehicle with much difficulty, wedged in the narrow space between Dong Woo’s car and a wall heavily graffitied, he could hear the party going on at full fling. There wasn’t any DJ music beating inside or bright disco lights swaying in the greying sky or anything. There was nothing fancy at all except for the badly decorated front-porch with a crooked Christmas tree and people screeching like dying hyenas to a karaoke machine inside. He could easily grasp Sung Yeol’s voice, sounding much like he was in labor pain, and he instantly regretted agreeing to this. He took a deep breath, hands buried deep in his winter jacket and let out a sigh. After all, he was Kim Sung gyu, and he had two sides to balance in his life.

Upon his arrival, all his team mates inside greeted him loudly that his head began to hurt. Sung Yeol, who held the mic of the karaoke machine happened to sing a terrible, completely tone deaf version of ‘We wish you a very Christmas and Sung Gyu actually reconsidered going back home before someone turned down the karaoke machine and Dong Woo lunged towards him to give him a hug. Despite all he odds of it, provided that he wasn’t all that close to that particular person, he found it to be actually quite nice.

“You made it hyung!” He said and Sung Gyu blindly patted on his back before pulling away. Then he was taken by the greatest shock upon seeing Howon, the team leader sitting on a stool, a can of beer in his hand and waving at him with the other.

“The hell is he doing here?” Sung Gyu asked worriedly. “I thought y’all didn’t tell him”

“We didn’t” Dong woo said with a shrugged. “He invited himself. I don’t know how he found out”

“Yah” Erupted Howon’s voice from behind them, but before he could actually start one of his “I’m the leader” speeches, Myung Soo put on some old-time retro track and began to screech along.

As the time moved along, Sung Gyu found it more endearing than irating as he felt earlier on that evening. Myung Soo, as it turned out was only staying in at a temporary place which one of his old friends (Who was an indi band singer) owned until his family rece his brother graduated, and howon too, turned out to be pretty cool when he wasn’t being his stuck up self. Sung Gyu found himself really enjoying, and it had been so long that he immediately found himself blending in. It was quite later that he realized that the very person who invited him to the party was nowhere in sight.

Sung Gyu, thus, put down the can of beer he was sipping and yelled over the noise of the Karaoke machine to Sung Yeol; “Yah! Where’s Woohyun!”

“Dunno!” Sung Yeol yelled back halfheartedly. “Stuck with family or something!”

And then, just as if he were psychic, the door was wrenched open and a blond head poked in. Woohyun’s face was completely read despite the cold ambiance and he could hardly catch a breath as he spoke.

“Hi (breath) sorry for being (breath) late!”

Then he stumbled inside as though he was pushed from behind. And then, much to everyone’s astonishment, a second head pocked in, followed by the familiar figure of the last person Sung Gyu expected to see on this fine Christmas evening.

“Hey everyone!”

Jung Eunji. Jung Eunji has come down to ruin the party.

Without thinking twice, Sung gyu stood up and jabbed an accusing finger at the girl, who stood at the doorway with a million dollar smile, still huddled in about five layers of cloth, a hoodie and a rather hideous reindeer beanie with tousles over it. “Why is she here?”

There was a pregnant silence while some old country music played along on the machine. Sung Yeol, who was behind him happened to move closer to him all the more than necessary.

“Why? You know her?”

“Of course I do!” Sung gyu snapped and jabbed his finger at her direction again. “She is my baby sitter!”

“Oh…” Sung Yeol mused, definitely sounding disappointed and stepped away. Woohyun, who finally seemed to have caught his breath or realized his mistake otherwise, stepped into the conversation.

“I had to pick her up from her yoga lessons, and can’t drive all the way home you see…”

“But-but she could have taken the bus!” Sung gyu reprimanded. She could be Woohyun’s sister-in-law and she might be a grown woman and all, but no way was Sung Gyu going to be drinking and partying with his baby sitter in sight and be reminded over and over again that he had abandoned his child to celebrate Christmas on his own.

“She’s not allowed to go alone at night!” Woohyun yelled back. “Eunmi-noona will murder me!”

Sung Gyu took one look at Woohyun, then at Eunji who stood there looking smug and victorious, as though she just made the biggest achievement of her life, and he finally let out a sigh.

“Okay, fine”

“Geez, Hyung, you sure are-,” Woohyun began, but Sung Gyu interjected by pointing at Eunji again and saying. “You, you’re not going to sit alone with all these men and get drunk”

“Eh?” Eunji went, looking as though he just accused her of manslaughter. “I ain’t gonna drink!”

“Of course! You’re going to stay over at my parents, with Sung Jae”

Woohyun looked at Sung gyu as though he was mad. “Why would she do that?”

Sung Gyu threw his hands in air in frustration. “Aish! Don’t you understand? I abandoned my family to come and party with you, and having her here is going to be like standing on the guillotine for me?”

“Like, guilt?” Sung Yeol suggested, and Sung gyu exploded again. “Yes! Guilt!”

There was silence again, only the music of the karaoke machine was going on while the rest of the team watched Sung gyu as though he had just stepped out from a sappy weekend drama. Of course they all knew that he was the only member of the team who had a child, and they all respected him for that. Sung Gyu could say that the silence which now engulfed them was how they were trying to be empathized towards him. He didn’t mind it, he didn’t mind it at all. But he couldn’t help but look at Eunji and be reminded of the moment Sung Jae waved at him over the bedroom window. He was constantly washed over with guilt.

“But if you go there, you’ll have to drive back” Woohyun finally said, his voice breaking in through the silence. “Would you be able to do that?”

“I….” Sung gyu began, and thought of how his mother said she’ll make dinner for him before he left. “I don’t know…”

“If you won’t…” Woohyun added, and his voice had deliberately dropped an octave than usual. “Then what about me…?”

Sung gyu knew, although it hadn’t exactly occurred to him at that exact moment, that if he would go home at that very moment and would happen to see Sung Jae by any means, he would never be able to pull himself away from him. It would be even more so when he’d have to face his mother again, speak to her, only to abandon them and leave them again. As much as it sounded like an option to him, whatever the reason why he didn’t want Eunji there was far more desirable than having to see Sung Jae’s and his mother’s hopeful gaze. Just for this once, he promised himself, trying not to be too discerned by it. There wasn’t even a reason to be upset about having her there the first place, but somehow, having to see Eunji, his baby sitter, the next person who spends most of her time with his son, drinking alongside with him and his colleagues irked him.

He decided to overlook this fact, nonetheless, let out a sigh and finally agreed. He didn’t want to break Woohyun’s heart. Although he liked to go around looking like he was the next strongest person, Woohyun sometimes could be worse than a pregnant woman with his emotions. He will be crushed.

“Fine…fine” Sung Gyu finally replied, giving up. “She could stay”

Eunji rolled her eyes because she couldn’t understand what the big deal was about, and she almost reciprocated with something smart when Sung gyu pointed at her once all over again and said; “But don’t you dare tell my mother about this. She’ll be upset, and I will fire you on the spot”

Eunji looked into his eyes then, and she could easily read that he was there, somewhat against his heart, and strangely, she understood.

*

As the night fell and the amount of liquor consumed began to rise, what started out as a simple get together of colleagues turned into something more like a beer peg party of some hormonal teenagers. Myung Soo was the wildest despite his silent, aloof persona, and only after about two bottles of Soju, he began to dance around as though he had completely lost it. The only sofa set in the room happened to accommodate more than half of the party visitors including Woohyun, Sung gyu and Eunji who sat sandwiched between them. Sung Gyu could hardly count to three and couldn’t even remember what his name was at that point, which in turn meant that he had completely forgotten his midnight plans. Instead, there he was, sitting beside his baby sitter who was drinking straight from the bottle of soju while Sung Yeol who was lounged at the foot of the makeshift-cardboard box-coffee table, spinning the empty bottle perched on top of it.

Despite their very drunkard state, they settled to play spin the bottle like they did back in college days.

“Not your turn you dumb !” Howon bellowed from his position of nearly hugging Dong Woo’s leg. “It’s Myung Soo now!”

Myung Soo was currently hugging a wall nearby, still laughing for god knows what he found amusing, and didn’t seem like he’d come and spin a bottle any moment now so Sung Yeol piped up and said, “No! I spun it at him first!”

“Okay” Howon agreed blindly and yelled at Myung Soo’s general direction. “Oi! Truth or dare!”

“Dare” Myung Soo grunted through hiccups and perched on the floor, now hugging the hand rest of the sofa. Sung Yeol thought hard, in spite of his hazy state of mind and said; “I dare you to take off your pants and sit in the snow!”

Myung Soo looked up, blinking rapidly at Sung Yeol who gave him the dare while Sung Gyu peeked from his side, his hand thrown over Woohyun’s shoulder and laughed.

“Okay!” Myung Soo finally replied.

When they finally stepped outside, only to be greeted by the balmy Christmas wind, the ambiance happened to hold the prospects of an incoming snow storm. Sung Gyu’s vehicle, like the rest of them, was covered in thick layers of snow which he didn’t’ come to take notice of, and as the wind blew, the crooked Christmas tree out on the porch began to sway, its tinkling sounding faintly through the hovering of the wind. It died down, however, over the flamboyant noise of their boisterous laughter. As per the dare he was given, Myung Soo undid his pants and dived into the snow without complaining once. He was in a pair of shorts, which he was asked to wear over his boxer shorts which he stripped into before Dong Woo, who was still quite sober, reminded them that there was a girl among them. The said girl took no note of any of it because she was too consumed by alcohol to do so, and was too busy drinking and laughing simultaneously at something Sung Gyu had said while they waited.

“He’s totally doing it!” Sung Yeol bellowed, interrupting the discussion the three of them were having and Sung Gyu finally turned around, seated on the front porch with the rest of them, only to be greeted by Myung Soo, only in his blue and white checkered shorts, sitting on the snow. And he was laughing. Seeing the abnormality of the entire situation (Though they didn’t exactly deem it as abnormal) they laughed alone.

“Get the over here you idiot!” Howon yelled through his laughter. “Your will get hypothermia!”

It took much of Sung Yeol’s and Dong Woo’s effort to finally get his cold bum out of the snow and he was immediately tend to, by dong woo, by being given a pair of sweat pants and another can of beer to warm his now-cold rear end, regardless of it being truly effective. They returned to the comforts of the inside afterwards since the snow storm showed signs of its start. After they returned, it was Myung Soo’s turn to spin it, which ended up pointing at Howon.

“Truth” He said, evading having to do a ridiculous act as a dare.

“Okay” Woohyun went, and looked around at the gathered crowd in an attentive gaze. “If you were gay, which one of us would you have proposed to?”

“I’m out!” Eunji yelled, giggled and hit Sung gyu on the arm when he said something about her being biual.

Howon looked around the people gathered and gave his earnest reply. “Dong Woo. Because he’s a dumb little but far less dumb than the rest”

“Oooohh!!!” Mused Sung Yeol and Woohyun in unison, Myung Soo got into a fit of giggles while Dong Woo, who was to get married in another two months turned as crimson as a cherry.

“Who’s next?” Someone yelled afterwards, the din of the previous happening gradually dispersing, and Howon, who was next in the line reached over and spun the bottle, which ended up pointing at Eunji.

“Ha! Finally!” Eunji yelled on the top of her lungs and got up on her feet. “I’ll go with…..”

Everyone waited expectantly, and Eunji gave a half-drunk smirk. “Truth!”

Her response earned everyone’s groans, and feeling much satisfied with herself, she sat back, almost falling into Sung Gyu’s lap, missing it by an inch.

It was Sung Yeol who asked her the question.

“Since you’re a girl, I’ll ask a milder one…” He cleared his throat. “Is there anyone, anyone that you have always desperately wanted to kiss? Someone y, hunky and die for-,”

“Sung Gyu” Eunji retorted without a second thought. There was a pregnant silence, as though she had just declared that she’s been bedding with Kim Jong Un. Finally Sung Yeol threw his hands in the air and let out a loud groan. “You’re no fun! Sung Gyu Hyung? Seriously!”

“Eh…” Woohyun added and smacked Sung Gyu on his back who didn’t seem one bit irked by the entire ordeal owing to him being succumbed into a complete drunkard state. “Don’t be like that! Hyung has got an agonizingly good appeal”

“But he isn’t y, hunky and die for!” Sung Yeol interjected loudly. “Look at him, he looks like a…a…” Of course, since Sung gyu was his senior, he couldn’t bring himself to call him something deterring and rude. Sung Gyu, however didn’t seem like he actually did mind it that he was a least bit affected by having claimed by Eunji that he was ually appealing. Instead, he just merrily sipped on a bottle of soju, half of his partially lifeless torso perched on Woohyun’s back.

“He’s y” Eunji added, sounding much non-committed and everyone followed her gaze to look at him who widened his eyes which were now extraordinarily tiny due to the over consumption of alcohol, and gave everyone a curious look. It was quite surprising, how he seemed like it didn’t affect him at all after he had thrown such a tantrum over having Eunji at the party. Nobody bothered to question about it either way. They only shrugged it off and Eunji reached out to spin the bottle. It ended up pointing at Woohyun.

“Dare!” he yelled a bit too over enthusiastically and pushed the drunkard old man off his chest. “Dare! Come on guys, gimme a dare!”

“Oh cut it out” Sung Yeol said and sat comfortably on the floor. He seemed to mull it over for a moment, his eyes curiously scanning the gathered crowd and finally replied. “You’re an annoying arse, we’ll do something small and get over with it”

“Eh?” Woohyun went, looking broken. “Eh why??”

“Aegyo” Sung Yeol said, pointing a finger at his direction. “Come on, you’re good at this”

Woohyun merely pouted, probably having his expectations to make out with his favorite Hyung being marred, but made up his mind for the act anyways and lifted his fists to the either sides of his head when Sung Gyu suddenly smacked on his back and yelled; “Done! Next?”

Woohyun looked like he was on the verge of his tears. “Eeh? But-but I didn’t even…!”

“That was cute enough” Sung Gyu commented, not really caring enough and nodded at the bottle on the table. But Woohyun, who was never really up to act like an ordinary human being while he was either too drunk or too much into his best friend (sometimes both) made an excited little squeak, lunged into Sung Gyu’s direction and threw all his limbs around him. “Aww! You think I’m cute Hyung?”

“Gross!” Eunji yelled, trying to pry Woohyun off her boss and ended up falling on her behind. Woohyun was still hugging Sung gyu and Sung gyu was just absently patting on his back, looking so much like an old gay couple in their honeymoon. Things could have gone from bad to very worse if not for Sung Yeol who stepped into take the matter into his hands. “Can you two just please stop being gross gays!?!”

“Yah, don’t be so homophobic!” Howon said from his spot, and Myung Soo pouted at Sung Yeol as though he was absolutely offended. Nonetheless, in good thirty seconds, everything was brought back to being partially normal, and Woohyun spun the bottle haphazardly, which ended up pointing at Sung gyu.

“There!” Sung Yeol exclaimed, banging his fist on the table in determination. “Now there’s a legit one. Sung gyu Hyung?”

Sung Gyu merely blinked at being addressed by his name, which wasn’t quite as surprising because he could barely identify what was going on around him let alone gather it that it was his chance to decide if its truth or dare. Since he was taking too long to respond and also since it was almost Christmas now, Woohyun decided to step in and say; “He’d probably take dare”

Sung Gyu snapped his fingers, finally coming to, and pointed a thumbs up at Woohyun’s direction. Meanwhile Sung Yeol was mulling over all his options as though it was a matter of life and death, a matter where the lives of young, innocent lives depended on, and finally a mischievous glint appeared in his eyes. “Well….since its dare then…Sung Gyu Hyung. Kiss someone random…the unlucky person Hyung chooses will have to order chicken to celebrate Christmas!”

There was silence and all the eyes just stared at him, nervous, appalled, and worried that they would be the poor victims of Sung Gyu’s ferocious claws. Woohyun looked especially perturbed, despite his previous act of cutesy with his best friend because the last thing he wanted to do with Sung gyu was making out at Myung Soo’s dinky little one-storey apartment, surrounded by his colleagues and his sister in law on his side. Seconds passed, and Sung Gyu merely sat like a dope, thinking. But before even Sung Yeol could step in and interject his much anticipated dare, Sung Gyu moved, ever so naturally, cupped the face of the very person who sat next to him, and caught their lips in a long, gentle kiss.

At first, Eunji was completely thrown off her feet that she could barely register what had just conspired. She was pressed against the sofa seat, her feet pushed to a side, her hands limped on her sides and eyes opened wide. She was unsure whether she should pull away and slap him on his face or pull away and kick him on his uncertain places. Regardless of what her mind said, though, her heart was saying otherwise. Her heart was noticing the softness of his lips, the sweetness of his scent, the warmth of his embrace, and the taste of his tongue gliding in through her parted lips so effortlessly. She couldn’t tell if it was the state of her drunkenness, but she sure as hell couldn’t bring herself to pull away from him. Sung Gyu’s lips were intoxicating, and his hands, when they pushed into her hair, cradling her head and his weight moving above her were all the right things she needed to feel. There was only one thing she knew, at that point, for certain; and it was that she really wanted it.

A few minutes later, with his hands in his hair and tongue in , she could hear the ‘boos’ and boisterous laughter of the men surrounding her, but she couldn’t even begin to feel self-conscious. It wasn’t the kind of a thing the sane Sung gyu would ever find himself doing. The Sung gyu she knew was uptight and composed. He’d never let himself cross the line. But the drunk Sung gyu certainly did, and it’s the drunk Sung gyu that she had begun to fall in love with.

And then there was Woohyun’s voice telling them to stop, Sung Gyu struggled, his lips on the crook of her neck and finally he was pulled away from her.

“What the hell Hyung?” Said Woohyun.

“She tastes like booze…and caramel” Sung Gyu slurred, his cheeks flaming red, eyes drooping and lips donning a rather goofy smile.

“I think Hyung has had too much” Said Sung Yeol.

“You better get him to go home, Woohyun” Dong Woo said with genuine concern. “Isn’t his family waiting for him for Christmas?”

Woohyun took one look at the extremely drunk Sung gyu and consequently he felt like . Sung Gyu hasn’t gotten drunk in years. It was because he was a father now. Sung Gyu used to be of the kind who would get drunk with only a couple of shots but would stay out until late, drinking off nonetheless until he would fall. He and Woohyun had their days, back when they were only college students and he’d say that they were quite rowdy for their own good. Seeing Sung Gyu now, ages after they had left college life behind to take up their lives as much responsible adults, only him being the one to have taken up the most responsibilities out of all of them, Woohyun realized that he wasn’t being understanding enough. His best friend had a life, a life which was way different and perhaps a lot more complicated than his own. Hell, he couldn’t even begin to imagine how difficult it must be for him, committing his whole young life to single-handedly bring up a child. It was obvious Sung gyu would drink away when he got the chance to. Even more so that he’d lose it over getting the opportunity to kiss a girl after years. But Sung gyu was a wholly different person. If it was him, Woohyun wouldn’t have felt half as bad about it, but he was sure, if Sung Gyu knew, he would never forgive himself. And the worst bit of it was that it was all Woohyun’s fault. If he hadn’t nagged and made a big issue out of it, Sung Gyu wouldn’t have ended up drunk and wasted. Woohyun couldn’t help it but blame it all on himself.

There was silence in the room and most of them seemed to have sobered up at most part (Except for Myung Soo who was dozing off on Sung Yeol’s lap and Sung gyu giggled every once in a while but almost dozing off onto Woohyun’s shoulder) and after a while, Sung Gyu’s phone which was huddled inside the pocket of his coat which he had most promptly discarded and thrown across the floor, began to ring. It was Dong Woo who reached out and handed it over to Woohyun. On the display screen it said “Omma” and Woohyun nearly fell off the seat. “Holy , it’s his mum”

“Omma?” Sung Gyu slurred and giggled like a five year old child. “Om~maa”

Woohyun ignored him and floundered about in frustration. He could hardly give it to the drunk Sung Gyu now. He had known her almost all throughout his college life, and despite his attempts to lather her all over with his cheesy remarks, their interactions have never been none too nice.

“Oh god, oh my god, she will murder me!”

“Murder?” Eunji hiccupped and gave a strange smile. “What murder? She would skin me and chop me and sell me to the butchers if she knew I was here!”

“She’d do something even worse to me!” Woohyun echoed, completely horrified. “She’d tie me to a burning car and push it to the Han River! And watch me bleed!”

“Bleed?” Sung Yeol echoed halfheartedly. “How the hell would you bleed if you are drowning?”

“I thought it was a burning car” Supplied Myung Soo who had now woken up.

Sung Gyu was finding all these remarks pretty amusing and was giggling unstoppably before zoning out for a moment, and then he was slumped into the seat, staring blankly at his hands and pouting like a child. Eunji, who was a lot saner than her boss was could only scoff and roll her eyes. She was literally running out of her mind; what with Woohyun still holding the phone and pacing around spewing uncharacteristic things. She wished she hadn’t agreed to come to this mad house the first place.

“If she knew, she would strip me and boil me in a water cauldron!” Woohyun was saying, pacing around, sporting a rather despondent face despite what nonsense he was saying, and this set off Eunji’s last ounce of patience. Finally she got off the sofa, found her voice and yelled. “Ah, you punk! Just pick it up already!”

Woohyun stopped and stared at her as if he was greatly offended. “Wait, what-?”

And then Dong Woo suddenly stood up and snatched the phone from Woohyun’s hand. He accidentally pressed the handset then, and the whole room fell into silence when Sung Gyu’s mother began to yell into the cold Christmas atmosphere, her voice relentless like a police siren. Nobody could dare make a single sound, and the rather loud Eunji and Woohyun had stepped away as though she would jump right through the phone and murder them.

“Where the hell are you, Kim Sung gyu? Omma’s been trying to call you for hours and you aren’t picking up! I knew you would deliberately forget the mass, I knew you would totally ignore us and go about your way! Fine, wait till you get home, you little punk!”

The line soon went into an engage tone and Woohyun finally let out the breath he was holding up the whole time. “Oh my god that was a close one-,”

Then the phone rang again, at which point Dong Woo completely lost it and pressed onto the phone frantically. Despite all his good efforts, he only ended up answering the call as well as turning on the handset again. This time, for their surprise, Sung Gyu’s mother sounded as though she was on the verge of her tears.

“Aigoo my son! I didn’t mean to be harsh to you…I mean, I understand that you want to hang out with friends on the Christmas day, and that you have been going through a lot these days…I shouldn’t have been so cruel…” Sob. “I’m sorry” Sob, followed by a moment of silence before she croaked out in a tiny voice, “Sung Gyu-ya? Why aren’t you answering me?”

The subject of the phone call, however was rather calmly lying asleep on the now empty sofa, completely unaware of all the chaos going about around him. He seemed quite peaceful, with his hands thrown about and one leg perched on the headrest and all. But hearing his mother’s tearful voice, everyone else couldn’t help but feel rather sympathetic towards him. Dong Woo was crying even, which was, in fact, a little confusing.

Howon, being Sung Gyu’s boss and all, and being a momma’s boy himself, quickly stepped in and took the matters to his hands.

“Yes, Ommo-nim” He said as soberly as he could, into the phone.

“Sung Gyu?” Echoed Sung Gyu’s mother on the other end. “Wait…you’re not Sung Gyu…where is Sung Gyu?”

“I’m his boss, Howon”

“Boss?” she said incredulously. “What do you mean his boss? Are you making him work tonight too? On the Christmas Eve? He’s been so tired, not even getting a Christmas break! How heartless could you be?”

Howon took a rather patient breath while the others watched him in admiration and closed his eyes. “Ommo-nim, he is not working. We were having a party actually, and Sung Gyu Hyung…well…he…” Howon took one look at the sleeping man and let out a sigh. “I’d rather say he’s unavailable right now?”

“Unavailable?” Sung Gyu’s mother yelled out so loud that Howon almost dropped the phone. “What do you mean unavailable?”

Howon bit his lip and looked over at the rest of his colleagues, in hopes that they would somehow magically come up with a rational explanation to the whole drunk and napping debacle, and then when none of them did, he decided he’d take the knife himself. (Although, quite literally, it was not going to be a knifing)

“Um…missus Kim…the thing is, Hyung…he had had too much of-too much of alcohol, I’d say? And now has fallen asleep. But I will make sure that-,”

Missus Kim, however, wasn’t taking any of it. He could only tell the rest of the team members that they’d rather keep it all a blur and finally call it a night.

*

Winter was most possibly the best season of the year, in Sung Jae’s opinion, because there was Christmas, the only one family occasion which he was honestly looking forward to. Sung Jae liked Christmas because his dad would spend three entire days with hm, doing shopping, putting up the Christmas tree, grumbling about having to go to church and playing in the snow the next day. His favorite part was when they would go to their grandparents’ house and put up fairy lights in the garden trees. There isn’t much snow in December, but there is a considerable lot, nevertheless. They’d put up the lights in different colors and sizes, and there was this one set which played music too, which they would put up in the front porch’s window, and then there was this other one with stars which they hang across the roof. The colors of this light would shine on the tarmac ground below, and he and Appa would sit on the porch, under the star lights and look out the opened get at the houses in their street, talking about everything under the sun. Then Halmeoni would bring hot chocolate for the both of them in flasks, which sung Gyu would take in both his hands and together they would walk down the empty but brightly lit street, admiring all the lights and decorations until they reach these benches at the end of the street where this old lady’s dumpling shop was, and then they would sit down and have hot chocolate while watching the snow fall. It was either the same routine or somewhat different every year when they come to celebrate Christmas with his grandparents, as long as he remembered, and it was the moment that Sung Jae had always looked forwards to. Not the presents, not the Christmas dinner but spending so much of time together with his father.

There had been only one time, up to now that ths routine had changed, that one time which Sung Jae hated to recall. That day, he could still remember how his father looked. Distraught, red faced and he didn’t even come down t dinner. It was that one time a strange lady came over to their grandparents’ house. Sung Jae could still remember how their loud voices echoed in the house though he was only seven years of age. He could still remember how his heart pounded so hard that he cried in his grandmother’s hands. Sung Jae had never heard his father being so loud and…cruel. His father was a calm and happy person, sleepy and lazy sometimes, but he was the best daddy in the world. So it scared him when he heard his father yell like that. Later that night, when he had gone to bed, his father lied down next to him too. Sung Jae was so afraid that he didn’t even move but pretended to sleep. After a while then, his father was holding him so close that he began to worry what was going to happen next. But then he started crying. Sung Jae went to sleep with his father crying into his tiny back that night. The next day, concerned little Sung Jae asked his grandmother who the strange lady was, and that was how he got to know that it was his mother’ his mother who had wanted to get him back.

Sung Jae wasn’t going to leave his Appa though. Because Appa was his whole world. He loved Appa so much that he’s always scared for him because he was a policeman. On this particular Christmas night, his Appa had left only telling him that he was leaving to spend time with his friends, but promised to be back before the time for the mass. But it was almost twelve now and Sung Jae was already up and dressed to go to the church with his father and his grandparents. But only, his Appa wasn’t home yet. He hadn’t even called, and it was worrying him.

After going to the gate and coming back a few times while holding hands with his grandfather, Sung Jae finally sat down on the porch under the star lights. He and his Appa put up the lights that evening, but they couldn’t sit under them because his colleague called and he had to leave. Sung Jae tried to be not too sad about it. He could do that the next year as well. Nonetheless he sat down on the porch, and his grandfather followed. Quietly they watched the street, at the flickering fairy lights in their garden and listened to his grandmother yelling on the phone. He didn’t know what she was yelling at, but he certainly didn’t like it. After a while then, the front door pulled open and both his grandfather and Sung Jae turned around.

“Is he on his way?” Sung Gyu’s father asked. Sung Gyu’s mother, however looked as if she was about to cry, but the creases on her frail cheeks implied that she was angry. After heaving a sigh, Sung Gyu’s mother finally replied. “No, He’s going straight home…”

Sung Gyu’s father frowned. “But…? The mass?”

She merely shook her head then and came over to the two. “Let’s not go to the mass tonight….” Then she turned to face her grandson. “Sung Jae-ah…what do you want to do? You would stay with us, right?”

Sung Jae seemed to ponder it for a moment, the glimmering shine of the star lights fallen on his pristine skin, and finally he shook his head.

“No” He replied, almost determined. “I want to go to Appa”

*

Meanwhile, somewhere in the middle of nowhere, Nam Woohyun was lagging his drunk best friend across the snow-covered tarmac towards the car which was equally covered in snow, fighting his urge to scream profanities, with his sister in law by his side. It’s been a few minutes since they called it a night, and everyone had pretty much dispersed and gone on their way which left him, Eunji, Myung Soo (who was gone wasted) and Sung Yeol to deal with Sung gyu who had passed out. But as expected, the party planner had made up some lame excuses and effortlessly evaded having to carry his senior across the parking lot. Therefore, it was only Eunji and him, left out in the dark.

“Bloody hell, Hyung! Why are you so heavy?” Woohyun cried, pulling Sung Gyu’s limp arms tightly around his neck with one hand while the other held onto one of his thighs as the other leg was dragged along the ground. “What do you eat even?”

Eunji, who was on his side, currently on a lollipop, made a face. “Geeze, why are you friends with him even?”

“I am questioning my life choices right now!” Woohyun paused to catch his breath. “If I knew, I wouldn’t have asked him to come”

Eunji looked at Woohyun, and at Sung gyu who was sleeping soundly despite the rather uncomfortable position he was in and merely walked off, shaking her head, because, in her honest opinion, it should be her who should question her life choice right now, and perhaps Eun-mi too, to have married off with the brother of a nut-job.

Along with his nagging and swearing, Woohyun finally managed to carry his best friend to the parking lot, and stood in front of their two vehicles, wondering what he should do with them. If he drove his car, then he would have to leave Sung Gyu’s car in the lot, which was just as well, but only then it would mean that he would have to come here again by other means with a splitting hang over and a child, which was rather cruel and brazen of him, being the one who had put Sung Gyu through this trouble the first place. Which only left him with the second choice. He didn’t have a child or he wasn’t as drunk either. Besides he was closer to Myung Soo’s place than Sung gyu was and he could always get his brother to drop him off. He could easily ask Eunji to drive the car for him, but after all of that, he had to take Eunji home in one piece, therefore it was totally out of question. Therefore, with a rather reluctant sigh, he put Sung Gyu down while Eunji casually watched them, leaning against a graffitied wall as though she had nothing to do with the two, fumbled in Sung Gyu’s jacket pocket and finally located his key. Getting Sung Gyu’s rather tall but skinny built inside was a dismal affair, what with him being in a half asleep form where he threw his limbs around in protest and mumbled gibberish in his sleep. After about ten minutes of struggle where Eunji didn’t help him once, Woohyun finally got into the driving seat and let out a sigh.

“Oh god! Oh sweet Jesus!!”

Eunji got into the passenger seat and let out a sigh before reaching over to pat Woohyun on his shoulder. “You did well”

Woohyun could only roll his eyes in response. Eunji seemed to study out the window as Woohyun struggled with the key (Because he himself drove a rather old model of a car with a manual locking system and an old, traditional key which he called ‘The Munchkin’ out of love) and when Woohyun finally brought the car to life, Eunji asked, “Are you leaving the car here?”

“Yeah, will have to….”

Eunji gave him a rather sympathetic look, the kind of a look that one would give when someone’s dog dies and merely shook her head. “Uh-oh…Poor, poor Munchkin”

*

Ten minutes into the night, they got caught up in a traffic jam. It was as if the vehicles didn’t move an inch for ten minutes, and Woohyun began to wonder what was worse, having a drunk Sung Gyu over in his rear seat or having to deal with Sung Gyu’s cruel mother later on, or having Eunji on the passenger seat, grumbling her complaints every ten seconds. (Although, when he pondered the matters even further, all three were pretty much the same) And then, to make the matters even worse, halfway through the drive, Sung gyu happened to wake up in the back seat, exclaiming in pure horror, as he could say; “Where am I? Where are you taking me?”

Woohyun clutched harder onto the steering wheel and rolled his eyes. It had been years since he last dealt with a drunk Sung gyu, and he could pretty much recall now as to the reason why he had actually wiped off all the memories of his drunkard state. The truth was always painful, because the truth was, Sung Gyu, when drunk was worse than the very worst patient in a mental asylum that it would, in reflex would make anyone who would associate with him want to check into a mental asylum themselves.

Eunji threw an annoyed look at sung gyu and let out a sigh. She felt like she couldn’t take her boss seriously anymore. How could she? Every morning when she’d walk into his house for work, she would be reminded of this appalling incident. She felt as though she was scarred for life.

Woohyun heaved a patient sigh and turned to Sung Gyu who sat wide awake, clutching onto the seat.

“Hey, Hyung! Go back to sleep”

“Sleep?” Sung Gyu echoed as though it was a foreign word and repeated; “Where am I? Where are you taking me?”

“Home” Woohyun answered patiently. “To your home”

There was silence, the light from the surrounding seeping in and he had his eyes narrowed against it. After a while, he muttered as though in wonderment. “Home….”

Woohyun reached out and patted on Sung Gyu’s head. “To Sung Jae…”

“Sung Jae…” Sung Gyu repeated in the same tone of wonder, and slowly, Eunji could feel Sung Gyu’s presence behind her. She swiftly turned around, feeling a little self-conscious, consumed by the thought of the previous incident. But then, for her surprise, Sung Gyu was merely hugging the head-rest of the seat and soundly asleep. For a moment, Eunji couldn’t help but watch him bashfully; so childlike, so gentle, so adorable. It was almost as if he had changed completely, it was as if he had summoned his inner child.

Perhaps, he was still a child after all. A child bound inside the body of a thirty two year old. A child who, unaware to him, was given the responsibility of another. Seeing him now, it made her heart fall the slightest. Within the short span of time she had worked for him, she had seen his good times, and the bads. And she could say that the bad had stayed with her the most, just because they were so significant, just because they showed her what his true struggles were. At this thought, a sudden sense of responsibility washed over her, as though she was responsible, not only over the eight year old child but also over his father. It made her heart leap about in the strangest ways.

When he whimpered quietly, changed the angle of his head so his cheek rested against the edge of the seat and let out a contented sigh, Eunji could almost feel his warm, alcohol ridden breath falling against her ear, and it made her feel insecure even more. She tried to look away, but how his cheek was flushed pink and how his messy dark hair gave off a golden shine against the lights coming from the road and how his hand gripped so tightly that the veins, blue against pale were prominently protruding were holding her back from taking her eyes off him. It was as if he was unconsciously luring her over to him, quietly swaying her unshaken heart, and she realized that all these tiny details of him were more significant than anything else of him had ever been. Sung gyu was the exact split resemblance of his young child, and unconsciously, or consciously even, Eunji could feel her heart reaching out to him.

After a moment of still quietness, Woohyun noticed that Sung gyu had fallen asleep and also that Eunji had found an unquestionable interest in his best friend. He noticed how her flickering eyes traced every inch of the man sleeping behind her and he let a small smile spread across his lips. And then it fell. He remembered the Christmas last year, all of a sudden, how Sung Gyu drove all the way to Ansan, only to find comfort on his shoulder. How he murmured his concerns and fears, how afraid he was that he would get his son pulled away from him. Before even he could stop himself, Woohyun had begun to speak.

“He had it tough at this time of the day last year” Woohyun said quietly, as though in fears it would wake the sleeping person. “Maybe he wanted to get over it tonight”

“Hm?” Eunji finally averted her gaze to look at her brother in law. “He did?”

“Hyung never speaks of it. He likes to think it never happened…”

“What happened?” Eunji pushed on, and then the traffic moved an inch, so Woohyun lured the car alone.

“Sung Jae’s mother came back”

Eunji was silent, silently staring ahead and realized that Sung gyu had never really mentioned it. Sung Jae had spoken of his mother before, a few times and Eunji knew that she had left him, but then it was pretty much it. She didn’t know anything beyond that. Yet, she was so ignorantly overlooking it. She never even bothered to find out.

“She…did?” Eunji managed in the end. Woohyun nodded only quietly, his eyes focused ahead on the road. “After how long?”

Eunji didn’t know the entire story in details after all, and he guessed that Sung gyu never really told her, or even his mother, because she hated Sung Jae’s mother so much that she preferred to imagine that she didn’t ever exist. So he realized that it was indeed his cue to speak about it.

“After seven years…”

Eunji pondered it for a moment, doing the calculations in her head and finally let out a gasp. “Sung Jae was abandoned when he was only a tiny baby?”

“Of one month” Woohyun added in a monotone. “On Hyung’s doorstep. And he didn’t even know…”

“Oh god…”

Instinctively, Eunji imagined baby Sung Jae, wrapped in blankets, crying helplessly on the ground, and how the shock of seeing him must have been like to Sung Gyu. She felt like she wanted to cry.

“Hyung didn’t want to take him in at first” Woohyun continued, his voice echoing in the silent confines. “He was right out of college, just applied for police training and pretty much getting his life straightened out. He was so confused at that time. He had his relationship with her going so well and he was serious about her too, so when she suddenly left without so much as a single phone call, Hyung was taking it all real bad. So can you imagine how it must have been like, seeing a baby claimed as his own on his doorstep? But he took him in anyway, loved him and brought him up so well. It must have killed him inside when that of a woman came back to reclaim her child…”

“How did he react?” Eunji asked in a small voice, feeling stiffening up a bit.

Woohyun looked down at his hand and let out a sigh. “They’ve had a big row actually. Sung Gyu was never the type to have a row in that manner, not ever when Sung Jae was around. He hadn’t even spoken much about his mother to Sung Jae because he didn’t want him to feel the loss, and pretty much played the role of them both. But when he had to have a fight with her, with Sung Jae around, on the Christmas day at that, Hyung took it so badly that he drove all the way to my place…and he cried”

Eunji was in disbelief. The firm, uptight, fatherly figure who was Sung Gyu did actually cry? Eunji felt her heart bloom in a strange way, as though it was dry earth having cold water poured on, and she thought back to Sung Jae, and the rather adorable exchanges between the two of them. It made her heart almost leap over to him. He was an inspiring figure of a parent, and she couldn’t help but awe at the thought.

Then she asked, rather softly, worried if Sung Gyu would hear, “How did Sung Jae react”

“I don’t know…really. Because I’m sure Sung gyu never told him” Woohyun responded sincerely. “But Sung Jae is rather intelligent for his age to figure things out. I’m sure he knows already, but never speaks of it for some reason…” He was quiet then, and after a while he added. “I think Sung Jae saw it too…”

“Saw what?” Eunji asked.

“Hyung crying like that” Woohyun replied in the end.

They drove on silently for the next thirty minutes, and since the traffic pretty much dispersed at the four way junction, the rest of the drive went on quickly, and soon they were already pulling into the driveway of the apartment plaza. Sung gyu was still asleep, now lying across the seat (after he woke up, repeated the same two lines and Woohyun calmed him down the same way, putting him back to sleep) his lowly snores being the only sound inside. After he had parked the car then, Woohyun finally broke the quiet.

“He’s probably really lonely” He said, looking far ahead. “But his responsibilities are holding him back from many things…”

Eunji’s mind simply trailed back to that time when Sung Gyu got himself caught up in a false dating fiasco, and nodded in response. “I’ve seen that…”

“I don’t want to see him cry again” Woohyun added in a low voice. “He’s my best friend, and it really breaks my heart, seeing him that way…”

“It’s weird’ Eunji responded with a slight smile. “But I think I understand”

Woohyun nodded, which she found to be a little strange but she overlooked nonetheless, and he added in that same pleading way, “Don’t let him fall, again, Eunji…I’m doing that. And now, that you have fallen into his small circle of friends, I hope you can contribute too...”

Strangely enough then, after all that emotional discussions, Eunji found herself gazing at him quite so lovingly, as though she was watching a child, as though she was watching little Sung Jae. It must have been the alcohol reaction or her exhaustion and sleep deprivation; she couldn’t tell. All she knew was that she was recalling the memory of having Sung Gyu’s lips moving on hers, hers fumbling along his, the gentleness of his hands and the gleam in his eyes. Her fingers moved upwards to her lip then, and they took up a graceful smile.

“I think I can do that.” She finally replied.

*

…Back to Christmas morning…

Sung Gyu was pretty sure Woohyun was lying. He didn’t know which part of the story was untrue, but that bit about where he vomited on himself that he had to take all his clothes off wasn’t remotely true, or remotely funny for that matter. If he was around here at that very moment, Sung Gyu was certain he would make sure Woohyun didn’t see the day light.

It was still early in the morning on the Christmas day and after his mother had oh-so-nicely accused him of something he couldn’t even remember ding, the first thing he did was calling his best friend. Woohyun had picked up rather groggily, mumbling something about ‘Hyung being a pain early in the morning’, and when Sung Gyu had asked what exactly took place the previous night at the party he vaguely remembered going to, and then, for almost twenty minutes, Woohyun hung onto the phone, spewing lies.

Sung Gyu knew for a fact that Woohyun wasn’t a person to lie about things. It wasn’t like he was getting anything out of doing it, but Sung Gyu wasn’t exactly believing it that he only had two cans of beer and slept in Myung Soo’s bed and forgot the Christmas mass. Especially because the headache Sung Gyu was pretty much implying that two cans of beer couldn’t possibly give him such after effects.

“And yeah. You puked on yourself after we got home. I stripped you off the clothes and you fell asleep. The end” Woohyun ended the story at that note, and when there was silence, Sung Gyu took one look at the screen blankly and placed the phone against his ear once more before he flopped onto the bed beside still sleeping Sung Jae. “Yah, why are you lying to your Hyung?”

“Lying?” Woohyun cried, taking offence in his remark. “Why would I lie to you, Hyung?”

Sung Gyu let out a frustrated sigh. “Yah. I couldn’t possibly have had only two cans of beer! I feel like I was a stampede victim!”

There was silence, and after a while, Woohyun said; “Ah…! You’re right! You were a victim of a stampede!”

“What the ?” Sung gyu almost threw the phone across the room and out of the window, only if they had one. “Don’t be ridiculous!”

Woohyun let out an audible sigh then, and it appeared as if Woohyun was pondering all his existing options. Sung Gyu waited patiently, try to recall incidents from the previous night himself, and then after a while Woohyun finally returned to the phone.

“Okay. Here’s the thing. You got drunk, like really bad, passed out, missed the Christmas mass, you mother phoned us and yelled us for , then I came around to drop you off….but hey! The puke bit is real! I swear!”

Sung Gyu merely frowned, a certain hunch was telling him that he was certainly missing something. There has got to be more to it. He couldn’t help trusting his gut instincts. Sung Gyu was certain that something was amiss, that Woohyun was deliberately keeping it out of the whole story.

“Go check the laundry basket if you don’t believe me!” Woohyun was yelling over the phone, so Sung gyu took one look at the said basket, overflowing with cloth across the room and figured that it was that the foul smell was coming from. “No thanks” He said. “But why do I feel that you are hiding something?”

“Er…n-no?” Woohyun answered, somewhat hesitantly, and for the rather attentive person he was, Sung Gyu was definite that he was hiding something.

“Woohyun, what the hell happened?” he pressed on.

“Nothing happened!” Woohyun reprimanded. “What do you think could possibly happen? You getting drunk and making out with someone?”

Sung Gyu’s eyes drew wider at his not-so subtle implication. “Wait-what?”

“That didn’t happen!” Woohyun yelled a little too loudly. “Honestly Hyung, next time you get drunk and pass out, keep a record of things or something”

Sung gyu let out a sigh, suddenly feeling very tired. “Okay fine, whatever…whatever happened, I wouldn’t care…”

“Totally, you shouldn’t” Woohyun said in agreement as though it was the most acceptable response. “By the way Hyung-,”

“What? You better be quick, I’m tired-,”

“I’m sorry okay?” Woohyun suddenly blurted out, stopping Sung Gyu in midsentence. Sung Gyu was confused by his sudden apology and tilted his head to a side. “Uh…okay, but whatever for?”

“For not being understanding enough. I mean, you have a kid and stuff, but I didn’t think and it was my fault you missed the Christmas mass with your family and all, I’m really sorry!”

“Oh that’s fine…” Sung Gyu merely waved it off non-committedly and after a second, he almost fell off the bed. “, its Christmas!”

Woohyun made a confused sound. “Uh…yeah?”

“I have to place Sung Jae’s presents!”

“I guess?”

“Oh god!” Sung Gyu yelled and hopped off the bed, completely falling into insanity. “I got to go!”

*

Sung Jae stayed a few extra hours in bed that morning, which gave Sung gyu enough time to run off to his car and grab the presents he had wrapped up and hidden in the trunk of it. He had never missed out on putting down the gifts before, except for that one time and it was quite possibly half an hour or so that he missed. But this time, it was the worse because, for one, he wasn’t at his parents’ house where he usually did his Christmas routine and also he had deliberately forgotten it was actually Christmas. He made a mental note to never take up any offers Woohyun would make no matter however much appealing they could be. He had ruined Christmas this time for sure, and it was making him feel even worse. It was an unsaid fact that he had ruined Christmas for Sung Jae and the rest for two consecutive years. He wasn’t sure if he could ever make up for it even, but he sure was going to try.

After he had placed the gifts in the living room under the red and white, shiny little Christmas tree they had put up together, he ran back into his room and ducked under the bed. He couldn’t quite possibly be awake and arise Sung Jae’s suspicions. One time he nearly got caught to his sly schemes of catching Santa clause. Sometimes he felt Sung Jae was growing too old for that kind of treatment, but on the other hand, he wanted their Christmas routines to continue. After all, in his opinion, the memories he and Sung Jae made together every Christmas were what mattered the most.

A few minutes later, Sung Gyu felt Sung Jae stir beside him. Usually it was Sung Jae who would be up early in the morning, running all over the place and trying to awake his father. Sung Gyu guessed that he must have been really tired the previous night that he slept much longer. Nonetheless, Sung Jae was up soon, and he was shaking Sung Gyu by his limp arm, trying to awake him from his pretense sleep.

“Appa! Appa wake up! It’s Christmas!!”

Sung Gyu pretend groaned and flipped to the other side, carrying on his pretend sleep. Which was all well because the next moment, Sung Jae opted to take greater measures and simply climbed onto his back before hopping on him. “Appa! Appaa!!!”

“Get off me Jae!” Sung Gyu croaked out, feeling like he was being asphyxiated. “Are you going to kill me?”

Sung Jae laughed, hopped off the bed and ran all the way out of the room.

When Sung Gyu finally walked into the living room, however, Sung Jae was sitting alone on the floor by the Christmas tree, staring longingly at the star on the top of it, as if he was waiting for something to happen. Something broke in his heart; just snapped, taken by the unexpected sight. Sung Jae hadn’t ever spent Christmas with only his father before. They stayed over at Sung Gyu’s parent’s every year, and every year he would be sharing the Christmas breakfast with his entire family so that Sung Jae wouldn’t feel a least bit alone. He couldn’t understand why his parents had dropped Sung Jae off at his place however. Nor would they tell him even if he asked. It was saddening to see Sung Jae opening his presents all by himself like this. Sung Gyu, instinctively, was drowning in remorse. If he had once given more thought to his family, to Sung Jae the other night, none of this would have happened.

He was so deep in his thoughts that he didn’t even realize that Sung Jae was up on his feet. It was a light tug on his hand which brought him back to his senses then. And when he looked down, Sung Jae was up by his feet, smiling brightly, the glimmer of the fairy lights of the tree sparkling vigorously in his eyes.

“Appa, you’re up?”

Sung Gyu managed a sad smile. He hadn’t even realized that tears welled up in his eyes. Sung Jae didn’t have to see them. He quickly wiped his face off on his sleeve. “Yeah…I’m up”

“I was waiting for Appa to wake up…to open presents…”

Sung Gyu felt his throat constricting at his words. “Why? You usually open them while I’m asleep.”

Sung Jae looked down, smiling shyly, his cheeks tinting pink. “But I want to open them with you today…Appa…”

“W-with me?” He mumbled, his words only hoarse whispers as he spoke.

“Mmhm” Sung Jae nodded, walked over to the tree and sat down on the carpet before the clumsily placed gifts. Then he stole one glance at his father, and pat on the ground beside him, implying him to sit which Sung Gyu wordlessly followed, holding back his tears. This was definitely a first. Usually, on Christmas day Sung Jae would be the first one to be up, then he’d rip open all his presents and by the time Sung Gyu woke up, he was usually found playing with his new toys with his cousins and his grandparents. Present time was never shared with his father. Sung gyu felt privileged, happy and significant.

Sung Jae then pulled out the first package, which was slightly bulky with the wrapping ripped on the edges. Sung Gyu remembered Sung Jae admiring this pirate ship one kid had when they went on a holiday that summer, and he had made a mental note to get one for his own son. SO when Sung Jae’s eyes lightened up at the sight of the ship, Sung Gyu could hardly hold back his tears.

“Omo! Appa! It’s a pi-!” Sung Jae looked up, his excited smile spread across his lips, but the moment he caught the sight of his father, he simply trailed off. Sung gyu had trails of tears down his cheeks. He didn’t know they got there. He was unaware of them being their even. All he knew was that he was seeing his son opening presents for the first time, and that it made him the happiest than he had ever been.

Sung Jae, however, concerned, sat up on his knees and crawled to his father’s side. “Appa….”

“Hm?” Sung Gyu sniffed, and Sung Jae, without a word, moved over, climbed into his lap and ran his tiny hands around his father’s neck, pulling him into a hug. This was the last straw for Sung Gyu. It was as if he waited for this his entire life. And to add to the entire emotional tumult he was facing, Sung Jae said, his soft, warm breath hitting slightly against his ear. “Appa…I missed you. Let’s celebrate Christmas like this every year…”

Sung Gyu was chocking by now, his hands tightly holding onto his child. “Like this?”

Sung Jae nodded. “Only Appa and me, like this…”

Sung gyu smiled through his tears, and replied; “Okay…only Appa and you…”

*

Even after a week had passed, Eunji could hardly put off the mental image of Sung Gyu kissing her off her mind. It was like a haunting trajectory, following her through day and night, growing and nurturing through every thought until she began to feel slightly obsessed of him. She’d constantly find himself with her hand on her lips, thinking, and then she’d be wondering of all the ways that she could get him drunk again. And no. It wasn’t the ordinary Sung Gyu that she was obsessed with. She’d never even begin to like the boring, uptight, sometimes lazy and stupid Sung Gyu that she saw every day. It was the drunk one. The one, whom she thought, she wouldn’t be able to take seriously again. By now, whom she couldn’t seem to get her mind off. It was all an insane situation. She would rather if she could have it all wiped off her mind so that she could spend a normal life. But the thoughts of it themselves were making things ever harder.

It was after New Year that Sung Gyu phoned up and asked if it was possible for her to come and work again. She agreed because she really could do with some income for the New Year and wondered if she would get a pay raise as well. And on that particular morning, Woohyun dropped her off at the apartment plaza and had left without a word.

Woohyun’s been all tensed the past few days after the whole munchkin incident. The morning after the Christmas party at Myung Soo’s place, Woohyun had gotten his brother Boohyun to drive him over to fetch his car. Upon going there, however, what he was greeted by was the horror of all the seven seas. He felt like he was ripped off of his greatest assets. Without going into all the gory details, it was safe to say that it hadn’t been at all very pretty. There was lots of graffiti involved, and lights tinted black and a missing door, and also one particularly despondent Woohyun crying “Munchkin! You can’t do this to me!” while lying on its hood for good thirty minutes in the snow. Like said, it hadn’t been all that good.

In consequence to this incident, Woohyun’s had stopped speaking to people, which was all good. Finding comfort in this, she had him drive her all the way to work and she left him at that, making her way quietly up to the upstairs condo.

She hadn’t met Sung Gyu for days after Christmas, so naturally what with all which happened, she was feeling a little self-conscious. Her nervousness was piping up as she knocked on the familiar front door, and soon the door pulled open and Eunji totally did not hold her breath.

“Oh, hi?” Sung Gyu greeted, but it was not what she was taking note of. There he was, standing in his glory with his shirt undone, revealing a flimsy white undershirt which did nothing better on his pale white skin. He had had a fresh shower recently, and his hair was all damp and parted to a side. Sung Gyu looked so sensually appealing that Eunji wanted to go back home.

“Umm? Not coming in?” Sung Gyu supplied, and it was this which brought her back to her senses. “Oh, oh...” She nodded hastily and quickly stepped in. Sung Gyu hurried off to the kitchen afterwards, completely unperturbed by her presence. Eunji was confused suddenly. It was as if everything was dandy and fine. What about the kiss? It wasn’t like it never happened! And him acting like so was completely irking her. He could have said something, something nice and satisfying. Eunji, of course, didn’t expect Sung gyu to react to it in any way in particular. But it would be a lie to say if she didn’t expect him to remember it.

But he didn’t seem shaken at all. In fact he seemed completely normal. It’s as if he hadn’t a memory of it at all…

So Eunji, being Eunji, decided to take the matter into her hands.

“Hey boss?” She said, stepping around the dining table in the kitchen. “How was Christmas?”

Sung Gyu stiffened the slightest, but then he returned to being himself. “It was alright”

“Really?” She pushed on. “So nothing special happened?”

“Not really” Sung Gyu said, hastily moving around, preparing things for Sung Jae’s new school year. Eunji watched him for quite a while, and decided he had forgotten it completely.

“We went to this Christmas party, yeah?”

Sung Gyu nodded absently.

“Do you, like…remember anything from that day?”

Sung Gyu merely shook his head. “Nope…”

Eunji bit her lip then, taking all the time that she needed and moved closer to him. “Nothing? Nada?”

“Nothing” Sung Gyu said without much interest.

“Really? Not a bit?”

Sung gyu sighed, and turned around to give her a look. “Miss Jung, what are you getting at?”

She shrugged, her courage slowly wearing off. “Well, it’s just….”

“It’s just what?”

“I-it’s just…”

“Go on…”

Eunji looked up to meet his eyes. “Lips”

“What?” Sung Gyu went incredulously, and Eunji stupidly shook her head. “Ah, nothing….what should I make you for breakfast boss?”

*

It wasn’t that Eunji was scared of it or anything. Honestly. She was all cool.

*

It was only because she believed that somethings better be left a mere blur.