“Sung Jae get the door!” Sung Gyu yelled from the kitchen, his hand dipped in a bowl of cold water after he had gotten his hand burnt. If he wasn’t the worst cook of the entire world, he sure was the worst cook of the entire Korean peninsula, and half of the time the only productive thing he ended up doing was the dressing on his wounded hands, and sending his son to school with something on the go.

“Appa is something burning?” Came Sung Jae’s voice from the doorway. His head poked in then, and scrunched his nose in amusement. “Ah, one helping of Appa’s hand coming up!”

Sung Gyu rolled his eyes, bewildered. “Just get the damned door!”

“One money to the swear jar!!”

“Get the door I said!”

He could hear Sung Jae’s shouting something about bad daddies from the doorway, followed by the beeping indicating the apartment door crack open and a quiet greeting followed.

Sung Jae was eight and Sung Gyu became his unfortunate single father when he was only twenty four. He and his girlfriend had this stupid dinner out followed by unprotected unspeakable in his bedroom with his parents watching a sitcom downstairs; he wouldn’t have gone to his room, let alone to his house with his girlfriend that night if he had a single idea that this could possibly happen to him. He would have expected for his parents to barge in and stop him, even, but no, they had been doing there own thing, and Sung Gyu and his girlfriend did their own. Ten months later on the day of his university graduation, he ended up being greeted by a month old Kim Sung Jae on the doorsteps of his parents’ house with a note tucked in. Sung Jae was the result of their spontaneous relationship.  Thankfully he had graduated and already had his job secured as a private investigator at this reputed agency. The pay was good, and his parents were fine with things (his mother was quite delighted, though she didn’t stop nagging about the irresponsible girlfriend of his who had apparently disappeared from the face of the earth) so he simply took him in. He was the daddy after all. His mother took care of him for good five years, during that time he stayed at his parents, but after his younger sister got married and had twins, he had to move out with the five year old Sung Jae and have a living of his own. It was tough for a while, but Sung Jae was a good kid, much like his father. He liked to sleep and eat all day, and sending him to school was no trouble. He would leave him at the day care until he returned home in the evening, and after dinner which they’d have from a nearby takeout, Sung Jae would nicely go to sleep. He was that easy until he turned seven and became a real pain, a rebellious little humanoid. His job was getting difficult too, so he had to end up hiring baby sitters to look after the child. He refused to stay at his friend’s (He may or may not have burnt the house down; however the parents refused to accept him, but he’d rather say Sung Jae refused to go, at least it would make Sung Gyu feel better) and keeping him at the office was not an option (He once jammed the coffee machine, which in return flooded the whole place in hot coffee, causing serious damage) so he had to opt to the last resort.

The eight year old Sung Jae still wasn’t up to stay home alone. And up to now, they had had twenty nine baby sitters in count. Sung Gyu was troubled that the number had fairly reached his age.

“It’s another babysitter!” Sung Jae’s rude yell came from the doorway. It had been long since he realized that he hadn’t taught the kid his manners. Well, basically all he had learned from his father was sleeping, snacking and lazing around.

Sung Gyu sighed loudly and took off his apron with his one free hand; then he went to the hallway carrying the bowl of cold water. Sung Jae didn’t seem very happy though, and Sung Gyu could almost read his mind, plotting all sorts of no-goodness schemes to send this one out too, and decided he better send off the kid before he actually did something he shouldn’t do.

Emerged from the doorway a woman in her middle ages. She had a pair of kind eyes, lips were tinted bright red and she was smiling at Sung Jae, possibly convinced that he was one wonderful child. Sung Jae might be chubby and cute and all (He looked much like Sung Gyu) but he was far from being a sweetheart. His looks really could deceive. Since he already looked like he could do with a daily dose of murder, Sung Gyu decided to send the boy off for the moment.

“Uh, Sung Jae…can you check how the-the pancakes are?”

Sung Jae frowned. “There aren’t any pancakes”

Trust Sung Jae to be brutally honest. Sigh. “Just go”

After Sung Jae had trotted his way to the kitchen, Sung Gyu tried to smile, despite having his hand in a bowl of water, and gestured the lady to the living room. The lady was smiling sadly at him, and he guessed she was pitying him for being a single father.

“So, Mister Kim? I emailed you in the morning” Started the lady in a soft, kind voice. Sung Gyu hadn’t time to check his email.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I couldn’t check.” He replied honestly.

“That’s fine, really…so your parents? I suppose you’re having troubles raising your younger brother…”

“Eh?” Sung Gyu went, confused. He was sure he put the advertisement mentioning the right details.

“Your younger brother, the child I’m supposed to look after”

“Oh” he lowered his head, realizing what had gone wrong. It had become quite conventional. Nobody really believed it when he’d say Sung Jae was his own son. “I’m sorry for the misunderstanding, Sung Jae is actually my son”

“Your…son?” The lady seemed like she couldn’t cope with it. “But…but you’re so young and handsome and- oh my god, what happened?”

Sung Gyu sighed, not wanting to go into details. “Things happened…but yes, Sung Jae is my son. We couldn’t find his mother”

“Oh god! I’m sorry!” She said, and then went onto this long, boring story about irresponsible youngsters and how women should be concerned, this and that which Sung Gyu really didn’t want to be hearing, and since she didn’t seem to stop, he decided to terminate it himself.

“Uh, Madam-,”

The lady immediately stopped and frowned. “Miss. It’s Miss Jang”

Sung Gyu tried hard to not to be thrown by the fact that she was quite too old to be a ‘Miss’ and gave her a charming smile. “Right, I’m sorry. So Miss Jang, why I needed to hire you was to work as a babysitter-slash housemaid-while I am at work. Sung Jae…he isn’t a problem child…he’s just different, growing up without a mother and all, and needs a little care. Besides my job won’t allow me to take many leaves and return home early, so-,”

“What is your job, Mister Kim?” The lady inquired, interrupting him.

“I’m a private investigator” Sung Gyu said with a smile. “So, continuing, what I need you to do is-,”

“A private investigator? Lovely! I’ve been wanting to find one-,”

Sung Gyu stopped, frowned and kept staring.

“You see, my boyfriend, he’s such a sneaky thief!” “Laughter. “I am sure he is cheating on me. I’ve been telling him forever that we should get married but he refuses! Every damn time! He might be twelve years younger to me and all, but what is age? Just a number! And now I think he’s cheating on me with my younger sister, how outrageous-!”

Sung Jae emerged from the kitchen just at that moment, a jar of chocolate spread in hand, a lump of it staining his other hand which he was off without so much as a little concern. “Appa” he called through a full mouth, and both the adults in the room turned to him. Miss Jang’s jaw dropped a mile.

“Sung Jae, what are you doing?” Sung Gyu hissed, embarrassed. Sung Jae just shrugged, the chocolate off his fingers and wiped the rest of on the sofa, leaving a huge stain on the creamy white material. Sung Gyu had already changed sofas, twice because his mother was nagging, nevertheless this one already had a few rips then and there.

Sung Gyu decided to ignore it and turned back to the lady, who looked like she had seen all the horror on earth, which he ignored. “So Miss Jang, as I was saying, your job description includes cooking, cleaning and taking care of Sung Jae, doing the laundry, which isn’t much; you just have to carry it downstairs to the lauder and bring it back-,”

“Does it include the sofas?” The lady asked, horrified. Sung Gyu gave her a grave look. “Yes, I’m afraid”

“Oh” She nodded and seemed to ponder for a moment. “Okay, then we’ll say it includes extra work, which in return is extra wage; therefore, we’ll come to a deal”

Sung Gyu was confused. “Wh-what deal?”

Miss Jang smiled. “I’ll do the extra work, and as for the extra wage, you work for me, catch my boyfriend committing adultery and your pay, I will cut off from my extra wage”

His mouth hung open. He had never heard anything more ridiculous, well, except for the jawless Japanese woman who was apparently hiding in Sung Jae’s closet (And no, He didn’t not go near the closet, if anyone wondered, Sung Gyu was no chicken) and it didn’t even come close to it. “What the hell?!”

“Appa, two moneys to the swear jar” Sung Jae mused.

“What do you mean what the hell? This is a win-win deal!”

“How is it supposed to be a Win-win deal? It’s stupid!” Sung Gyu exclaimed, outraged. “And it isn’t even adultery! You are not even married!”

Miss Jang looked genuinely shocked. She gasped so loudly, eyes widened, a hand pressed onto her chest and exclaimed; “How dare you-?”

Sung Gyu could only sigh and ruffle his hair in frustration. Twenty nine babysitters had taken a good amount of tolerance from him, and he was tired. “Miss Jang, if we can please return to-,”

“No we can’t!” She echoed, and the voice rang throughout the apartment. “You insulted me and now you dare to hire me?”

Sung Gyu frowned. “I didn’t-?”

“I’m not taking this job!”  She said and suddenly stood up. It was at that moment that Sung Gyu realized how humongous the lady was. She could most possibly crush him and snap him into two. “I’m quitting!”

Sung Gyu could only stare at her as she fumbled around with her handbag, her massive behind turned to his direction and in his mind he was thinking; ‘There goes the twenty ninth one’

The lady was then fumbling about at the doorway, then her voice emerged quite loudly that he was certain his neighbors could hear; “How do you open this bloody door!”

“F***” Sung Gyu muttered and stood up, forgetting that the plastic bowl of cold water was still on his lap. It fell onto the floor with a splash, the water dampening the carpet which he had gotten cleaned nineteen times in count and shrugged.

“Three moneys to the Swear jar” Whispered Sung Jae from his side.

*

Sung Gyu was at work, going through a report he was to submit later that day, regarding a money laundering at some boring old ceramic factory, when his phone rang for possibly the thousandth time for the day. It had been going on ringing for a while; half of the day most possibly, and he wasn’t bothered to pick it up, thinking it was from one of the baby sitters. He had dropped Sung Jae off to school that morning, and with a burnt hand, his house still a mess, he came to work very late, and then got scolded by his team leader who was two years of his junior (if it couldn’t get any worse), the phone was least of his troubles at that moment.

“Make it stop, make it stop!” He was whining to himself, both his palms pressed onto his ears. “Make it stop, dammit!”

Suddenly the door to his room was pulled open. Nam Woohyun, a coworker of his private investigators firm emerged, panting hard, his phone in his hand. “What the hell, hyung!”

“Back to you!” Sung Gyu yelled, letting out his pent up frustration. “What are you doing here!?!”

“I’ve been trying to call you all the way from Ansan!”

Sung Gyu frowned, dropped his hands and reached fumbled around for his phone in the pile of papers. Sure enough, there were twenty six missed calls from Nam Woohyun.

“But…why would you call?”

Woohyun glared. “I was expecting an apology?”

“Sorry?” Sung Gyu said, followed by an audible sigh. “Anyway. Why did you call?”

Woohyun pouted and approached his table in lazy steps. “I was in Ansan at my brother’s place. His wife’s sister has just left her job and Boohyun says she could work for you…I was calling to tell you that, you couldn’t be a least bit happy for it hyung? I went through all that trouble, my money, my time, and I came all the way from Ansan-,”

“She would like to babysit?” Sung Gyu asked ignoring Woohyun’s emotional speech, and almost too happy that he could hire without any interviews. Interviews literally gave him nightmares to last for centuries (Including gays, es and women sneaking in through his bedroom window to set cameras in his shower room) and he would hire people without having to do any, any day.

Woohyun stared at him for a moment, blinked and sighed. “Yes, but that’s not even the point! The point is-,”

“I’ll hire her!” Sung Gyu said and slammed his hands on the table. “Tell her to come to my place at eight in the morning, sharp!”

“But Hyung!”

Sung Gyu wasn’t taking Woohyun’s whining any longer. He simply stood up and pushed the relentless Woohyun out his door.

*

The next morning Sung Gyu woke up with a start. He had a quick shower, dressed up for work and went to Sung Jae’s room to wake the kid up. The place was a mess; he accidently stepped on broken cars and a few tubes of paint, staining the already ruined carpet, and finally located his child under the covers, deeply asleep. He smiled, looking down at how peaceful his son looked in his sleeps. Sung Gyu wished he had nice dreams with colors (Though he was kind of sure they involved mostly about setting fire to other people’s houses and such). Sung Gyu loved his child, Sung Jae was his world. He really hoped the child would grow up well, hence all his trouble. He was thankful, however, that Sung Jae was doing quite well in school (despite the spontaneous complains)

“Sung Jae, Sung Jae ah!” Sung Gyu gently shook Sung Jae’s shoulder, but the boy was relentless.

“Go away!” Sung Jae mumbled and turned to his other side. Sung Jae was a heavy sleeper. Sung Gyu wasn’t exactly happy that this was all he had gotten from his father. And well, maybe even the brain too.

“Sung Jae-ah…wake up Kim Sung Jae!”

“Go away!”

Sung Gyu sighed, took a deep breath and settled to his last resort. With a heavy breath, he leaned down, pulled away the covers and took the boy in both his hands. Sung Jae struggled, flaying his limbs all over the place, hitting Sung Gyu on the face once in a while. However he managed to successfully carry him to the bathroom and into the already filled tub. In the process of putting him down, however, Sung Jae pulled his father along with him, finally ending up getting them both into the tub, completely dampening Sung Gyu’s clothes.

“Aish! Sung Jae! Was it necessary!?!”

“It’s cold!” Sung Jae complained, still holding onto Sung Gyu’s neck. “Get me out of here!”

Sung Gyu sighed, trying to pull his arms away from him. “Sung Jae, this is just bath”

“Get me out of here appa!” Sung Jae went on, now kicking his feet, splashing water all over the place. Sung Jae had done this almost every day, and half of that time Sung Gyu had ceremoniously fallen down on his face.

He decided to just stay in the bath; at least it would get his job done; he took off his pants along with his tie and the shirt. It wasn’t like Sung Jae hadn’t seen him only in his undergarments so it wasn’t exactly a concern. Then he filled up the bath, soaped and bathed Sung Jae’s tiny built while enthralling him with a fake tale which he mentioned as to be from his work experience. Sung Jae loved Sung Gyu’s job. He always took the title ‘Private investigator’ as ‘Detective’, and Sung Gyu was just fine with it, if it would make him happy; and every time he couldn’t take control of the child; in bath or putting him to bed, Sung Gyu would tell him a made up story from his said detective experiences.

He was in the middle of this fascinating tale of Sung Gyu and his partner Woohyun fighting an alleged spirit from the underworld when the doorbell rang. He had apparently forgotten his appointment in the course of his busy Wednesday morning, and hearing the doorbell now, only then he remembered it. He glanced down at his watch which read eight fifteen, he was already late. Or she was, whatever applied.

“” Sung Gyu said, climbing out of the tub. He almost walked out the bathroom until he remembered he was still in his undergarments, still soaking wet, so he swore again, looking around for a towel.

“Two moneys to the swear jar appa!” Sung Jae said, blinking from his spot in the bath. He looked really adorable that Sung Gyu almost wanted to pinch those cheeks but it wasn’t the time to. He had an appointment, and if he didn’t get there on time, Woohyun wouldn’t be so happy about it. Woohyun was the emotional kind, and his family was all serious about manners and punctuality. Boohyun was a school teacher, and he wouldn’t want his niece wasting her precious time.

Sung Gyu ran over to his room, located a bathrobe for the good measure and quickly stumbled over to the front door. He unlocked it, pulled it open and stepped back, only to find a young girl, a few years of his junior standing there, hands folded on her chest and brows raised.

“Woohyun oppa said you were strict and all” She said in a throaty voice, looking at him up and down with amusement etched on her face. “Looks like I can’t take you very seriously”

Sung Gyu blinked and looked down at his feet. Of course, he hadn’t exactly dried up, and since he was still in his undergarments there was water dripping down his skinny legs, pulling down at his feet. And then he’s thinking; ‘, , ; this is bad, three moneys to the jar!’

The girl shrugged and gave him an amused smile, looking at the water under his feet. “Did I scare you that much? Geez, here I was waiting for you for good thirty minutes-,”

“Thirty minutes?” Sung Gyu blinked, confused. He could swear he said eight in the morning, it was still eight fifteen; how could it be thirty minutes unless she-?

“We work ahead of time, sir” the girl said, dropping her hands to her sides. “And if you may…”

Then she pushed him away and brushed past him into the condominium. Sung Gyu was baffled, still standing at the doorway with water dripping and pooling down at his feet, eyes widened, jaw dropped the slightest. Sung Gyu was expecting a babysitter alright, a young one at that, but definitely wasn’t this.

“I am Jung Eunji by the way, and I will work for your said wage” She was telling him while he still stood at the doorway like a bum. “You seem all boring, but fine, the pay is good…”

Sung Gyu was still staring. It was him who should be doing all the talking but he was too outraged and mortified to even utter a word. He decided he should be talking to Woohyun about it; but he was afraid he’d lose his thirtieth babysitter. And this was all fine, if she hadn’t seen him so pathetic, things would have been better.

“Appa!” came Sung Jae’s voice from the hallway, and soon he emerged in a similar bathrobe, his chubby feet leaving a trail of water as he walked. “Appa I can’t find my undies-Oh!” His eyes focused on his father, and down at his feet. “Appa did you just pee?”

Oh could things get any more ridiculous?

“No! Goddamn it!”

Sung Jae blinked quite innocently and replied; “Three moneys to the swear jar”

First one is up! Enjoy!