calling for Emerson
♫ м ι l ĸ y ω α ν є || яєνιєω яєqυєѕт ѕнσρ ♫ || closed ||
The Red Night Paradise
By: Emerson
Story Link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/89166/the-red-night-paradise-action-hoya-infinite-romance-supernatural-woohyun-you
Title: (4.5/5)
It catches the readers’ attention. It sounds much better than Red Sky. I don’t see this type of title often.
Appearance: (3/5)
The blending was alright. Woohyun was the one and only one that caught me when I, first, saw the poster. It doesn’t have this mysterious feeling because when I read the title, it seems like a mystery, suspense type of fanfic.
Description/Foreword: (13/15)
LOVE THE TRAILER. It makes it so mysterious especially the song. You could’ve still made a character chart. It seems pretty interesting to me.
Plot/Originality: (7/10)
Maybe it isn’t the original plot but I liked how there was a twist of your own. I also liked how you developed it as it goes on.
Characters: (4/5)
The characters were quite well-introduced. I was able to take a quick grasped of how the characters are portrayed as.
Flow: (8/10)
It wasn’t too fast nor too slow. I think there should be more details so people can imagine.
Grammar and Spelling: (10/20)
Okay there were quite a few that bothered me especially the commas. You need a comma at the end. It isn’t a dialogue, referring to who is speaking what. Hope that made sense.
Ex.1: “Morning ______.” Came another familiar voice from behind you.
Correction(s): “Morning, _______,” came another familiar voice from behind.
If you are going to use the dots, use three dots. Also don’t add the dots in front of the sentence unless you are pausing.
Ex.2: “You..Sungyeol shi,..what are you doing here?”
Correction(s): “You...Sungyeol-ssi, w-what are you doing here?”
Since it was more of like trembling, shock type, I think you should make you/character shuttered.
That was just a few.
Overall Enjoyment: (20/20)
I really loved this. I am glued to it. Waiting for the next chapter ^^
Total: (69.5/90) 77%
Comments: Keep up the good work and maybe add a bit more details into it. YOU WATCH 11EYES TOO?! I love that anime xD
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