calling for Drama153
♫ м ι l ĸ y ω α ν є || яєνιєω яєqυєѕт ѕнσρ ♫ || closed ||
I'm Now His Slave?
By: Drama153
Story Link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/71343/i-m-now-his-slave-key-onew-shinee-you
Title: (2.5/5)
It generalized the idea of this fanfic but it isn't eye-catching nor is it really creative. It reveals the plot a little.
Appearance: (3.5/5)
The blending could've been better. It kinda seem like a character chart, in my opinion. The background and colors seem to match the theme of this fanfic.
Description/Foreword: (10/15)
You could've add the credits in the foreword instead. The description was short and simple. Love the character chart, which tells a bit about the characters. You lost some marks here because the description wasn't really captivative
Plot/Originality: (5/10)
It's a bit too common. I like how you add some twist.
Characters: (4.5/5)
They are well-introduced, especially Kim Kibum and Minyoung. I still think there should be a bit more details with the other characters.
Flow: (7/10)
It's okay. I like the pace but at times, it was a bit too fast so I had to reread a few chapters back. Don't add pictures nor link since it disrupt the flow.
Grammar and Spelling: (13/20)
Use one font only. For me, I got quite annoyed with the font as I read. Use commas when it is necessary instead of "." all the time. Why not use italics instead of ' '
Ex.1: I did a mental 'fighting' sign to myself.
Correction(s): I did a mental fighting sign to myself.
Ex.2: Just the sound of it scared me.
Correction(s): Just the sound of it scares me.
Never use any conjunctions unless you are combining it. In this case, this should be combined.
Ex.3: "But I can't help it. Noona is so pretty!"
Correction(s): "But I can't help it, Noona is so pretty!"
Mash potatoes is two words. Other than that, the grammatical errors isn't noticable.
Overall Enjoyment: (9/20)
I enjoy the first half, but then I got bored sadly. It didn't catch my attention also it is common in most fanfic with these type of plots.
Total: (54.5/90) 60%
Comments: For me, I think that you should look over your work before you post. I am also very sorry that it was half done. I didn't realize it till today. Very Sorry for that. Don't feel discouraged and Keep on writing.
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