Title: (3/5)

For me, the title is too cliché and it doesn't seem to catch my attention right away. By looking at it, there's no connection to the quote on your poster. Why not try to connect the title with the description?

Appearance: (5/5)

Cute and simple. Match your theme as well.

Description/Foreword: (8.5/15)

It's good and catchy but too colorful. It loses interest quickly. You can use different words to help bring out the idea of the title and have that small connection with the title.

Plot/Originality: (6/10)

I don't find this original; there are too many fanfic with these kind of themes. The plot is good from what I read so far. The flow is consistent and I can absorb the information written to me.

Characters: (5/5)

Flow: (10/10)

Grammar and Spelling: (15/20)

Okay, before getting into the mistake, don't use 'And' at the beginning unless you are connecting it with a second clause. And also, don't add too many "..." when it's unnecessary. On a side note as well, don't write your as in you are. This isn't a social network and texting. It needs to be professionalism.

Now to your mistakes.

I'm just staring because you weirdly remind of a dinosaur.

Why don't you call me when you're free?

... the other. "Do you..."

He's just not a person who I can spend too much time without an argument." It doesn't need a 'with.'

If I didn't,why did I kiss her? 

I am going to stop here. Your mistakes aren't consistent.

Overall Enjoyment: (20/20)

Did you actually enjoy the story, or were you bored to death? Did you feel like reading more and more? Would you recommend it to others? Warning! When I review fanfics, I am not going to be biased.

Total: (72.5/90) 80%

Comments: I like your writing style; it's really good than those fanfics out there. Keep on writing :D