A Bloody Sunhat
By: Sherioka
Story Link: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/Sunhat/

Title: (4.5/5)

“Sun hat” is two different words. It fits your story and it leaves people wondering what will this fanfic be about.

Appearance: (5/5)

The blending is great. It also matched the background.

Description/Foreword: (6/15)

It is too obvious. You need to leave some mystical in the story as in to leave the reader thinking.

Plot/Originality: (7/10)

It’s pretty original but at some points, it is kinda similar to others. I don’t really mind it since you get ideas from reading other fanfics.

Characters: (2.5/5)

They aren’t well-described hence that I can’t picture them.

Flow: (5.5/10)

To me, it was kinda confusing since it was vague. You need to add in more details so people can imagine what it is like.

Grammar and Spelling: (15/20)

Never end a sentence with “...” nor start with them. You place commas where it is unnecessary rather than necessary place.

Ex.1: Let’s sleep like this till the morning. Then we can go horseback riding in the mists.

Correction(s): Let’s sleep like this till morning then we can go horseback riding in the mists.

Overall Enjoyment: (15/20)

It was confusing but as the story goes through, it made sense.

Total: (60.5/90) 46%

Comments: I think you need to work more on the characters and the description/foreword. Don’t feel discourage and keep up with the work! Never give up!