unedited

Chapter twenty three….

Jaejoong never like hospital, when his mother asked him if he wanted to be a doctor, he remembered answering a fast no to her.

He hates the smell of antibiotics, the anxiety of the people who were waiting for their love ones in the operating room, he hates the food, it made you feel worst, in short he hates the hospital as a whole, he thinks that it is such a lonely place; of course he hates to be admitted in here, he prefer to stay at home  whenever he catches a fever when he was young, even though, he admired his mothers dedication in her work that will not lesser the hate…

He went to the nurse station and asked for his mother, a young nurse told him to go to the west wing; Jaejoong said his thank you and gone left…

“Hey you!”

“Hey you! I am calling you, why do you keep on ignoring me?!” when Jaejoong was sure that it was him, he turn around and see and old man sitting  in the bench…he motion  his finger for him to come .

 As I sign of respect to the elder, he apologize first for not acknowledging him,

“Is there something wrong?” he politely asked…

“Can you get me some coffee on that vending machine?”  the old man , pointed at the vending machine at the opposite sides of the way that he is heading, he crook his brows, nonetheless , it’s not that bad to help, maybe he’s too  tired to walk that’s why,,

“Okay,” he waited until he gave him his money; however he is not giving him any

“I need your coins,’ he said

“Don’t you have in yours?” he asked him in return…

“I do…”

“Yes you do, and why don’t you treat an old man who doesn’t have any in his pocket...” Jaejoong just shook his head, yet he turn around,

An old man wants a coffee and he wanted a free from him,  l

After getting the dear coffee, he walks back to him and handed him his order,

“Here’s your order sir,” he said in a waiter like tone, but instead of receiving thank you he shook his head,

“Why is there something wrong?” he crook his brows

“I want a cold water instead, now go!”

He immediately turn around, or else he can’t be sure if he will be nice to him again,   he didn’t come here to run errands from him, his major goal is to look for his mother and possibly look for Hana if it’s true that she’s in the hospital….

“Now where on earth will I get that water?”

Now he regret why he didn’t asked for the nurse assistance they knew better than him, however, what will he say to the demanding old man if he came back without cold water in hand?

He’s in his debating state when his eyes shift to the site of the hospital  garden, there he saw kids in their hospital uniform playing with their families,  some on their wheelchairs, being wheeled by their relatives he can tell the happiness in their faces.

Right then, He knew what he is missing hospital is not a terrible place like what he thought it was, it’s a place filled with hope, hope of all these people who want to recover and hope of their relatives who wishes to spend more days and laughter with them…

“Beautiful,” he knew that voice, even though it appears so soft, he didn’t think twice, forget the old man whose demanding for a cold coffee, forget his mother who needs this clothes in the paper bag in his hand…

His steps lead him  beside her, whose busy inspecting a butterfly on top of a beautiful chrysanthemum , she smiles as she holds her camera,  while he, he wanted to hold her, talk to her, asked her why she’s not appearing in front of her anymore, asked about her condition…  

“Don’t move or it will fly away,” she said to him, referring to the butterfly

She made another click and smile in satisfaction,

Jaejoong disobeyed her and made a step ahead, just what she said the butterfly flew…

“I told you so!”  She faces him annoyed, how he misses looking at her angel like face.

“sorry,” he said apologetically, actually he’s not sorry because of that butterfly thing, his sorry, was two weeks late, he knows that he was responsible from the start, from the camping and many things that happened before that, and to all the harsh words that he said to her,  “I’m terribly sorry….”

Just then Hana burst laughing; her laughter is like a sweet melody in his ears, why he didn’t notice it before..?

“Sorry, I can’t stop laughing, you look funny,”   she calm down and continue, “don’t worry too much I took a lot of pictures of it already,”

“I see…”

 Hana holds her camera again,” would you mind if I took a picture of you?”

She didn’t wait for his answer, he didn’t know what pose to make or so….

“Don’t look stupid just be you,”    she said, he can’t hide the confusion in his face, or was it she didn’t hide  any grudge from him, that she can still smile like this like nothing had happened.. ”stop having that look,”   

“What look?”  She moved in front of her,

“this” she pointed at the distance between his brows,”, your eye brows and  forming a straight line,” her touch made him jolt a little, she giggle at his surprise reaction…

“For a gorgeous guy like you who react like this, I can mistook that you like me…” she teases..

“I didn’t come here to just be tease by you, why you didn’t come to school anymore? What happened to you the night after I left? Why do you act as if I never treated you bad? Is it really easy for you to forgive, or you’re just playing with me again?  “ he said looking at her eyes, her smile faded, and right then he regretted that he bombarded with those questions, it’s stupid of him to asked all of those at once….

You just miss her so much….

Her mind kicked in, yes’ that was right and he must admit…

He wanted her to speak, he wanted to listen what’s on her mind, and he wanted to know what she is thinking, even though, possibly it will hurt him in the end….

“Please tell me Hana….” He pleaded… their eyes are locked with each other, as if they are in their own world…

He desperately needs an answer now, any explanation he will accept it…. 

“Hana there you are!” it was Yumi, she run beside Hana, when she saw him, she acknowledges his presence and holds Hana’s arm…

“I’ve been looking for you,”

“I was bored..” she answered shortly

“Come on let’s go…” Yumi said dragging Hana along….

“Wait,, were still talking….” Jaejoong cut them off, they stop and turn around, Jaejoong caught Yumi looking elsewhere as if she’s searching for someone while on the other Hana…

Hana just… she just… or to say it simply her reaction towards him confuse the hell out of him...can’t be?

“Jaejoong!’  it was her mother, the two girls bowed at her…

“Take her…” his mother ordered Yumi

Hana come along without looking at him, his mother is saying something but ,, he can’t let her go  just like that….they’re not done yet,  she didn’t answered any of his question, she can’t leave just like that…

Jaejoong grab Hana’s arm that made her look at him,

“Hana talk to me…” he pleaded, hoping that she will not go to where Yumi wanted her to go, he’s hoping that she was still that Hana who’s foolish enough to follow him  around…

“Excuse me but there’s really nothing to talk about and beside I DON’T THINK I EVEN KNOW YOU?”

Is there anything that hurt more, words than those words that ripping his heart in pieces…

He thought they were okay, because of those smiles of her earlier…  why did she said that she didn’t know him, in front of Yumi and his mother….

“Jae…” it was her mother comforted words that lead him back to reality….

………………………………………………………………………………………………

“girls are like that when they are in pain, they pretended that they don’t know you just to ease the ache,” he is sitting in the cafeteria with  his mother in front of him,, holding his hand… because he is his mother , he knew best,  she  had seen how hurt he was, she had seen how painful it was,

He remained quiet, digesting that after all it was his fault, if he was never been that coward from the start..

“I won’t force you to go to college anymore if you want another road to take, “ then she  got his attention, “ your friend  Eunhyuk told me yesterday about you joining  in this audition, he showed me your video and realizing  that you are old enough, of that will make you happy, then go for it,, if you’re thinking about me and your sister, we will be all right…after all I wanted to see you shine , I know you will make it big, you are my son…”

Jaejoong force a smile, he never imagine that it will be this easy, that Eunhyuk made his way to help him, but part of him will remain empty.

Empty because of Hana’s rejection….

If he could only know what his mother is thinking, she’s leading him away in a crazy world , away from the supposed pain that he will face if he found out that the girl he is in love with, have only a month to live….or even if she recover , she will have no memories of him….

She can’t stand seeing her son, in that devastated state, that is why she wanted him to take that road without Hana in his way……  

…………………………………………………..

Present day…..next chapter!

kudos!