Kyungri had been watching and observing her cousin for a few minutes. How she would sigh, then start spacing out, later look like she was about to cry and the cycle repeated. Feeling curious as ever, she snapped her fingers in front of Hyesun’s face and asked, “What’s wrong?” when the girl finally came back to reality.

Hyesun blinked her eyes at Kyungri. At first, she didn’t want to tell Kyungri but she knew best Kyungri wouldn’t give up until she was satisfied. She opened to speak, “Everything.”

Kyungri furrowed her eyebrows at the answer she received, “Everything as in?”

“The past, the present and even the future,” the younger answered.

“That’s too general. I can’t understand so I think you might want to explain to me what exactly has been bothering you,” Kyungri said in a stern voice.

Didn’t know how to start her story, Hyesun randomly blurted out anything in her mind, “I met him...,” she looked at Kyungri, hoping that she would get the ‘him’ that she was talking about, “...twice.”

Kyungri took a long time to think about the ‘him’ her cousin mentioned but she couldn’t remember whom she was referring to. She looked back at her, “Him—who?”

Hyesun really didn’t want to say his name but she knew she had to at the moment because she saw how Kyungri just wouldn’t remember. Sighing, she said, “Lee Hongbin.”

Kyungri turned quiet for a few seconds before her voice thundered, “Lee who?! Lee Hongbin that stupid bastard who deserved to die long ago?!”

Hyesun winced at her loud voice but nodded her head. She wasn’t the only one who despised Hongbin, even Kyungri hated him so much until she once said she would throw him into a river full of sharks if she could.

“Did he hurt you? Or maybe, did he try to get back with you?” Kyungri asked, as she checked her cousin’s body to see if there was any bruise.

Hyesun immediately stopped Kyungri’s action by holding her hands, “No, he didn’t do anything. We had conversations, not in a good way, and that pretty much all. Still, I didn’t expect him to reappear in front of me, not after what happened between us in the past. I’m not shocked if I’ll meet him again after this.”

“Then, what are you going to do if you meet him again? You’re not going to punch him or strangle him to death?”

Hyesun chuckled, “As much as I want to, but no. As you know, we ended in a bad term, so maybe our meetings so far mean God wants us to make up, settle up things between us and end in a good way?”

“Good way, yes, but it doesn’t mean you’re getting back together with him, right?”

“No, you idiot! How could you think that far? He hurt me once and I won’t let him get the chance to hurt me twice,” the younger of the two said. She could forgive him, but to forget what he did easily would be a no.

Kyungri nodded, “I’m glad to hear that. You know, your brain can be brainless most of the times,” she paused when Hyesun glared at her, “but if you really want to make up with him, then go for it.”

Hyesun didn’t reply back as soon. She thought about it and frowned, “But he’s making it hard for me. Besides, I still have other things to make up to than just him.”

“Since when did you have so many problems? Well, even if you do, since when did you even care to give a thought about them?” the older girl raised an eyebrow at the younger.

“I don’t know but I have a feeling that things are going to get out of the hand very soon,” Hyesun said with a pair of sad eyes.

Kyungri then held her cousin’s hands with her hands, “I’m here for you, Hyesun. Even if you are at your weakest point, I’ll help you to not break down no matter what.”

Hyesun felt a bit relieved to hear that. She was thankful for Kyungri for always being there for her. Smiling, she thanked her, “Thank you, Kyungri.”

∞

Mark and Taehyung were hanging out in Hongbin’s bedroom. Taehyung was lying down on Hongbin’s bed and Mark was sitting at the corner of the bed. Hongbin, who just got out from the shower sat at his study table. Both of his friends then stared at him, Taehyung especially was looking at him intently.

Realising their stares at him, Hongbin raised an eyebrow at the two, “Why are you two staring at me like that?”

Mark didn’t know how to start his sentence but he knew he had to say it. Before he could open his mouth, Taehyung had cut him off, “Who’s she? You know—that girl from yesterday,” the youngest of the three straightforwardly asked. Mark made a mental note to smack Taehyung on the head later. This kid is seriously freaking impatient that even my patience is running out.

Hongbin’s face changed at Taehyung’s question. He was well-aware how blunt Taehyung could be at times but he couldn’t help but to feel a sickening feeling forming in the lump of his throat.

Seeing how Hongbin reacted and even Mark looked at him in disapproval, Taehyung bit his lips, “Well, you don’t have to answer me—”

“Jeon Hyesun. Her name is Jeon Hyesun. A girl that I once truly loved...” he paused, before turning his head away from his friends, “... and I still love her. What’s worse, the feeling just grows stronger each day,” he chuckled bitterly at the last words.

Mark kept quiet since he already knew it. Hongbin had been saying that to him in the past years till present. Yet, Mark knew Hongbin was slowly breaking down by the time he kept saying how much he loves her but he didn’t know what he could do to make it up for her, even when he finally had met her again.

“But the way you acted in front of her doesn’t show that you love her,” Taehyung carefully picked his words, worried if Hongbin would burst out.

“I know. But I just really don’t know how to face her... after what I’ve done. I know what I did hurt her badly and even affect her till these days. I’m not sure how can I make up to her. As much as I still love her, I’m sure she doesn’t feel the same way. She hates me, I can tell. She won’t give me another chance, I know it,” Hongbin felt defeated but he knew better not to try when her answer was just going to hurt him more.

“What exactly did you do to her?” Taehyung was beyond curious. It couldn’t be that bad, could it?

Hongbin’s head dropped low. His eyes moved restlessly, looking at the ground before beginning his story.

∞

It was the day that marked the start of the 8^th month of their relationship. Hongbin had invited Hyesun over to celebrate the night together at his house since his parents were out of the town. It was almost 7. He patiently waited for his girlfriend to arrive when he heard the bell. Grinning, thinking it was her, he rushed to the door and opened it with a big grin on his face.

“Hey—oh, it’s you,” his big grin went to a small smile to see the person before his door.

“Are you expecting someone else?” the person smiled at him. Her eyes then went to his body since he was wearing a black tank top which showed off his muscular torso.

Smiling, Hongbin answered, “Yeah, I’m waiting for Hyesun. We want to celebrate our 7^th month-sary and the first day of our 8^th month together. By the way, is there anything that you need at this hour, Hyeri?”

The girl or particularly Hyeri had a change of expression for a few seconds before returning back to her pretty smile earlier, “I see. Well, umm yes, you see, I terribly need help with Math. Do you mind to help me now? Or am I disturbing your plan?”

Hongbin thought for a few seconds. It was five minutes before 7. Usually, Hyesun would arrive 15 minutes after the promised time. Thinking it wouldn’t hurt to spend some time to help Hyeri who seemed like she really needed help with her homework, the lad agreed, “Sure, why not. Come in, then,” he opened the door wider to let the girl in.

Hyeri thanked him with a smile and went inside, “Your parents aren’t home?”

“No, they’re in Seoul right now,” Hongbin replied to her question. “Come sit here.”

Hyeri quickly sat at the sofa and she hadn’t taken off her smile a second at all. Well, that was why she was known as the smiling angel. Heh.

“So, which questions do you need help with?” Hongbin asked when he settled down on another sofa. Then he noticed the girl had nothing with her, “You didn’t bring your book with you?”

Hyeri sheepishly smiled, “Yeah, I was in a rush now that you mentioned it, I just realised I didn’t bring anything with me. But I remember the questions that I want to ask you,” she said.

“Oh alright then, hold on, I need to take my book in the room,” Hongbin informed the girl, getting up from his seat.

Hyeri took his arm, which surprised the lad but she didn’t let go, “Uh, I’m sorry but is it okay if I ask for a drink since I’m quite thirsty? I’ll go get the book in your room,” she suggested.

Hongbin was puzzled at first before slowly removing her hand from his arm as he nodded, “Alright then. I’ll prepare you a drink and snacks. My math book is on my study table, you just need to search thoroughly among the books.”

“Okay,” Hyeri said before she headed to his room, while Hongbin went to the kitchen.

After a few minutes, Hongbin was back in the living room with the drink and snacks but Hyeri wasn’t out of his room yet. Feeling weird, he went into his room to see if she had found the book.

“Hey, did you find—What are you doing?” Hongbin asked, shock and bewilderment were evident on his face to see the sight in front of his eyes.

There stood Hyeri, in his bathrobe and she let it untied. She gave him a smile and she walked towards him, “What do you think I’m doing?” she then put her arms around his neck.

He quickly yanked her hands off and stepped back, “I don’t get you. What are you trying to do, actually?” he was now looking at her with angry eyes.

But that didn’t intimidate the girl at all. Instead, she chuckled, “I love you, Lee Hongbin. I’ve loved you since the first day I saw you! But how come you didn’t see this beautiful and hot me? It amuses me how bad your taste is when it comes to girls! Seriously, you chose the below average Jin Hyesun? She’s not even that pretty and heck, her body is the same level as elementary students! Why her when there’s a way better me?!” she yelled at him.

Hongbin’s fists turned into tight balls, “Why her? Well, why not her? You, better? In terms of beauty maybe yes, you are better than her but too bad, I don’t look at the superficial. The reason why she’s way better than you is that she has a nice heart. She may be naive but at least she’s not as sly and cunning like you!” he pointed his finger right at her face.

“Oh really? Well, too bad, I think she’s going to dump you very soon,” Hyeri smirked.

Hongbin’s forehead wrinkled in confusion, “What do you mean—”

He was cut off when he felt a pressure on his lips, as Hyeri had crashed her lips onto his. Feeling both shocked and puzzled, he let her lips lingered around his for a couple of moment even though he wasn’t reacting to her kiss. It made the girl deepen the kiss and even try to push her tongue onto his mouth and that was when realisation hit on Hongbin. He harshly pushed Hyeri on the shoulders and he nearly slapped her on the cheek but refrained himself from doing so.

“What the hell, Lee Hyeri? I’ve never thought you’re this type of person! Just get out now and don’t even show your face in front of me ever again!” he grossly spat.

But Hyeri just stood still in front of him with a smirk playing on her lips. She found his reaction rather amusing, “What if I don’t want to?” her eyes then averted from Hongbin to behind him but her eyes went to him again before he could take notice of it.

“Get out or I’ll drag you out, I mean it,” he firmly said.

“Let’s see if you can drag me out,” she said, but it wasn’t in a challenging tone.

Taking that as a challenge as his patience was worn out, he made quick steps towards her and grabbed her by the arm harshly but he wasn’t using so much force since he didn’t want to leave any bruises on the girl’s body or else she’d claim it as an abuse. He seriously didn’t want that to happen after finding out how sly this girl in front of him was.

But before he could drag her out, he was suddenly pushed onto the bed with Hyeri on top of him. Shocked, he tried to push her away but she wrapped her arms around his neck and with a smirk, again, she kissed him roughly on the lips. She made sure that he couldn’t pull away from the kiss as she nibbled his lower lip, earning a low moan from him with made she smirk in satisfaction. Even though she was quite angry that he didn’t reply back but it didn’t stop her from putting more force into the kiss.

Hongbin didn’t know why but his body froze at the moment. He could just push her off of him but he didn’t. It was just plain wrong but he was in a total shock and having the slowest reaction ever, he let her kiss him even though he didn’t kiss her back. But after some thoughts, he managed to come back to his sense and harshly shoved Hyeri from being closed to his body which made the girl got lied down on the bed as he sat down on the bed with his hands wrapped around his knees. He was too angry to realise there was another person, who had been watching the two of them with tears falling from her eyes.

Hyeri looked at him with a grin before switching her sight to the door. She then let out a fake gasp, “Oh, Hyesun?”

Hongbin’s world felt like crashing down the moment he heard the name that slipped out Hyeri’s mouth. No way, no freaking way. Heart beating fast, his eyes went to the door. His heart felt like it nearly stopped beating when he saw who was standing at his door. It was really her, Jin Hyesun. He saw how glassy her eyes were, the way she looked at him showed how disappointed she was with him.

He quickly got off the bed and ran to her. Luckily she wasn’t trying to run away from him so he took the chance to hold her hands tightly before she could, his own hands were shaking. He searched for her eyes and he knew that emotion well.

“Please, listen to me this once, Sunnie. It’s not like what you see, I swear. Trust me, Hyesun, I’m not at fault, what you see isn’t actually what it is!” Hongbin tried to explain to the girl with his voice shaking with nervousness too much. He had never thought such things would ever come in their relationship.

She was too speechless that she was afraid that she could say things that are beyond her mind so she told him what she felt, “I’m... very disappointed in you, Lee Hongbin. All this time, you’re only fooling me! I hate you so much! I’ll hate you forever, until my death!” not waiting for any longer, Hyesun quickly ran away from his house, leaving the ever regretful Hongbin behind, crying his tears out.

Days passed after the incident, and Hongbin had almost given up to explain to Hyesun about the truth because she was a lot stubborn than he had expected her to be. She didn’t even give him a second of glance when he called out for her and even if he tried to talk to her, she would have her headphones on, sticking to her head, literally ignoring the world. And heck, girl would put on the highest volume because he could hear the songs she was listening to, showing that the headphones weren’t only an act of her to avoid him.

One day, he had decided. Even though it felt like the worst decision he had ever made in his life, but he knew he had to go through it because he chose for things to be that way. He had given her up. Maybe, just maybe, they are not meant to be together. If they are, he wouldn’t give up, would he?

Hongbin saw her—Hyesun, eating alone at the cafeteria, without her headphones on but they were still by her side. It hurt him seeing how she wasn’t actually eating, but only playing with her spoon, her eyes had this kind of faraway look. She glanced up and their eyes met for a few seconds before she quickly put on her headphones and started choosing songs from her mp3 player.

Huffing, Hongbin stepped towards her and settled himself down on the bench, next to her. He felt how tensed up she was but she only ignored his presence. Knowing that she wouldn’t tell him to move away, he snatched her mp3 player from her grasp and turned it off.

It worked for him to get her attention as the girl was now glaring at him, “What the hell, Lee Hongbin? Give me back my mp3!” she said, trying to grab it from his hand but failed.

“Listen to me first,” Hongbin demanded as he stared at her.

“I’m not listening to any of your craps, Lee Hongbin,” she scoffed, rolling her eyes. She still tried to get her mp3 player from him but he moved so fast until it got her confused.

Giving up, she got up from the seat she was sitting and threw a look at him, “Just keep it then. I don’t want it anymore that it’s been touched by you,” she spat and took a few steps ahead before the sound of Hongbin’s voice was heard.

“I don’t even know what I was thinking few nights ago, trying to explain to you and s when everything that’d happened that night was real. What you saw was not a lie, it was all true. I was about to Lee Hyeri, damn she has such a nice body and she’s so good in seducing me, I actually love it a lot, unlike you. You’re such a plain Jane, you know that? Now that I think of it, I’m actually really stupid to date a girl like you when I can a way hotter girl. Well, I don’t even need to date them, playing with them would be nice, just like how I play with you, but you’re no fun.”

Hyesun felt every inch of her body weakening and hurting at the harsh words he said. She wanted to collapse on the ground right at the moment but she tried to remain strong. She didn’t want to appear weak in front of him and everyone who had been watching their little drama in the cafeteria.

Seeing how the girl wasn’t reacting to him and she was only standing frozen in her tracks, he continued even though every word that he said felt so bitter on his tongue but he knew he needed to do it for the both of them, “I’m sorry to crash your little fairytales, but I’ve never loved you, not even once. I only got together with you to see what kind of a girlfriend a boring girl like you could be, and damn you’re sooooo dull and unexciting to be with,” No, Hyesun, don’t listen to what my mouth said, you’re wonderful, darling, you really are.

“But one thing, it was nice to know that I’m your first. You must have loved me so much, right? And those so-called memories we have together, I bet you treasure them a lot, don’t you? After all this, you can still love me but I don’t even care if you want to hate me because all I know is my act is over.”

Hyesun wanted to cry. She didn’t even care if she was showing her fragile and vulnerable side to all students in the cafeteria but she couldn’t. But she knew she had to say something to him for the one last time. She wanted to make it clear for him that she wasn’t that stupid and cheap like he thought she was.

Still not moving from her spot and looking at him, she said out loud, “I’m not going to remember you anymore. I’ll delete your name from my mind. I’ll throw away those stupid memories we once had or maybe I should say I once had. You’re just a piece of crap that doesn’t worth anything,” with that, she walked away from the cafeteria with fast steps, letting everything go.

Hongbin’s heart felt like it was being stabbed with hundreds of knives and swords. He felt like dying. Without everyone noticing, a single tear dropped from his clear eyes.

∞

The memory still felt so fresh in Hongbin’s mind. Remembering the misfortune happened between the two of them, he once again felt the pain. His lips wavered, he was trying hard not to let the tears fall again.

Taehyung blinked at the new sight. Never once he had seen how vulnerable Hongbin could be, he was always a strong male no matter what was ahead of him. But this time, seeing him in such state, shocked him so much.

Mark got up from the bed and went beside Hongbin, squeezing the latter’s shoulders as a sign of comfort, “You’ve suffered a lot, Bin. It won’t hurt to try making up to her. It hurts me as well to see you pretending to be fine when internally, you’re so broken than anyone would expect of you.”

Hongbin glanced up at Mark, “I’m afraid, Mark. What if there’s no chance for me to do so?”

one week left before everything will get hectic again, for me. hope you guys will bear with me and my slow updates ;u;

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