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{4}

Jieun and some of her other friends were discharged from the hospital a few days after the accident. However, three of the others involved: the driver, passenger, and one who didn’t wear a belt, were still held. I noticed her visiting very often and soon it became a routine for her to find me, whether it was tending to her or her friends. Most of the time, I was the one looking after them while Xiumin went into hiding or tagged along if I tricked him. It was a little tiring to take care of teenagers in the hospital, especially when some of them weren’t injured, but it certainly made the days entertaining.

The panel lit up in my hands, telling me to hurry up down to the teens’ room and see what they needed. I stretched out my arms and started walking. They probably want me to run out and buy something. Hospital food isn’t the best; so many times they asked me to get them something from a nearby grocery store. I didn’t do it a lot, but sometimes if the patients’ pain was acting up I’d cave. “Doc, can you give us food?” Jieun asked as she stood outside of the door. I rolled my eyes. Knew it.

“The food here is specifically made to provide more nutrients for injured and sick people, it’s healthy,” I explained and walked into the room. The teen followed.

“But it doesn’t taste good and you know it!  You pack your lunch every day,” she noted and I shrugged.

“I can’t always go out for you guys, I’m an intern here, I can get seriously punished for leaving while on duty!” I reminded and she pouted. “God, you kids, seriously stop pouting like that!”

“Please Doc?” Luna joined in on the pouting and I flinched.

“I’m not even a doctor; I shouldn’t be looking after you guys. Fine! I’ll go down in a few minutes for my lunch break and get you all something,” I said and they cheered. Ugh, you’re such a pushover.

“Can I come with, Doc?” Jieun asked and I stopped for a moment. She would know what they all like to eat, and she’s not a patient anymore.

“Sure, come along,” I agreed and the girl bounced along as we walked out onto the street. “So, what do you guys like to eat?”

“Mm, the guys are into junk, chips and soda of the sort, but then again so are the girls,” she smiled and I chuckled, making sure it was safe to walk, I stood closer to Jieun.

“I can’t feed you junk food, that won’t help their recovery,” I tapped my chin when I got an idea. Boar’s Head. “This way!” I tugged at her hand and took her to a gas station instead.

“What’s here?” she asked and I smiled, handing her a twenty dollar bill.

“Buy a pack of Nesquik chocolate milk and meet me outside,” I told her and she nodded, running to the refrigerated section. Boar’s Head was my favorite deli ever since it opened up near my old dentist office. The sandwiches were amazing and I was so excited to see it was opened up near the hospital, albeit in a gas station. I got to know the woman who tended the counter of the deli section. “Jieun! Does anyone have any allergies?!”

“No! But Jackson doesn’t like avocado!” she told me and I turned back to the board.

“Ma’am, can I have 2 Italians, 2 Clubs, and 2 Californians along with three apples, two oranges, and a serving of russet potatoes please?” I ordered and she smiled at me before getting to work. That’s at least 58 dollars, do I have enough? I looked in my wallet and nodded. I look fine.

“That comes up to $38.05.” I blinked. Was I that off?

“Ma’am, I thought it would be twenty dollars more,” I noted and she smiled.

“You go to and from the hospital wearing a white coat with no ID badge, you’re a medical student. Just give me forty and you’re good,” she said and I grinned, handing her the money. I grabbed the food and bowed.

“Thank you,” I smiled and walked out of the door where Jieun held the pack of chocolate milk.

“Wow, Doctor, getting a sweet deal from the older ladies I see,” she teased and I scoffed.

“Don’t say that, if my girlfriend heard you—.” I stopped. Oh my God I never tell anyone about Tiffany and I. Oh my God and Jieun is a teenager for Christ’s sakes I’m doomed!

“You have a girlfriend?” she asked and I nodded, my heart palpitating. She glanced at me, up and down, and shrugged. “I can see that. Is she hot?”

“You’re okay with that?” I asked and she nodded, looking forward as we crossed the street.

“Why wouldn’t I be? I was just a little surprised, but I bet she’s cute,” Jieun smirked and I grinned. I always stepped around telling new people about my uality, I never could tell who was the accepting and rejecting type. I was very glad Jieun was accepting.

“Yeah, she’s amazing,” I said with a sigh, remembering our fight. We hadn’t contacted each other since she left for South Korea. I can’t think about her right now, I’m at work.

“Did you guys meet each other before you came to Cali?” she wondered and I nodded.

“Yeah, you could say we were high school sweethearts,” I shrugged lightly. High school sweethearts, the term sounds so simple and innocent. We were definitely not simple nor innocent. I scoffed a little and guided her through the hospital, not speaking anymore about Tiffany. Wow, the wound is still fresh. I simply walked in, dropped off the food, and left.

I didn’t eat lunch and spent the down time writing reports and playing the drums with two pencils. It’s been a long while since I met up with my percussionists, besides Wooyoung. I missed feeling the rhythm, working as a team, competing and dominating the ranks. I couldn’t play an actual drum, my dorm room had no space for it, so I kept all of my sticks in a drawer and once in a while took out my drum pad. I gently tapped out an old Drumline cadence that I somehow remembered, thanks to my hard- drum core teacher, and closed my eyes. Damn, this old song feels good. I sighed as I kicked up at the finishing beat, and rolled in my chair to see Jieun staring at me, mouth agape. I froze because of her for the second time that day. “Doctor, are you a secret drummer?”

“One of the best percussionists at our high school,” Xiumin winked, walking by with a stack of papers and I threw a pencil at his back.

“That’s so cool! Wait, do you play the set or is it concert?” the teen asked, her eyes sparkling with interest. I can’t deny it now.

“Both, I was also a snare player in our school’s Drumline,” I said and she pressed her hands to her cheeks. I smirked at her expression.

“Oh my gosh! No wonder your girlfriend liked you, drummers are hot!” she exclaimed and I immediately hushed her, putting my hand over . My heart jumped when her voice got louder and blurted out the fact I had a girlfriend. Ground rules, she needs ground rules.

“Jieun! Not a lot of people know I’m bi, please be quiet!” I hissed and she nodded so I took my hand off of . “And just to say, she fell for me before she knew I drummed.”

“Wow, how humble,” she said sarcastically and I grinned.

“It’s true, after I found out she liked me our friendship just kind of blew up in my face,” I sighed and stood up. I began to print my documents.

“Did you not at first?” she continued and I shook my head, walking over to the printer. Jieun followed.

“Nope, it was one-sided with her and then it was one-sided with me. In my second year of graduate school we got together,” I replied, my mind blank as I relayed my eventful past to the high school senior. I grabbed the warm documents and stapled them in appropriate groups.

“You’ve been together for quite some time then,” she rested her face on my hand and I hummed.

“Yes, our overall relationship is extremely long. But don’t admire it yet, long relationships can be strained,” I advised and collected the stapled papers.

“Rough patch? No time? Long distance?” Jieun guessed and I sighed deeply.

“All of the above, Xiumin! Take these papers down to Dr. Huang, these are reports of the car suicide attempt patients,” I handed off the papers to Xiumin and he grunted, quickly walking down the hall to our supervisor.  “Jieun, maybe you should go back to your friends—.”

“Your past is really interesting, Doctor,” she realized and I smiled a little, sitting back down at my desk while she pulled up a chair to face me. She’s so innocent.

“I’m glad my past is entertaining to you,” I said and she shook her head.

“Not like that, I mean, you seem to hide a lot of stuff…you don’t look like anything that makes up who you are,” she explained and I bit my lip, not looking at her. Why is she so nosy? And why don’t I care as much as I should?

“I’m going through something with her and I’d rather not mix my work and personal lives together, you should go back to your friends,” I suggested and tapped my knee. She leaned back in her chair and stared at me for a moment. She then stood up and I turned away.

“You’re a good person, Doc, you buy us food and let us screw around. If she doesn’t see how cool you are she’s nuts,” Jieun told me and I folded my fingers into my hair. I listened to her footsteps and fell back against my chair.

“Call me Taeyeon, Jieun.”

Xiumin and I were let off shift by 12:30 at night. My bones ached from the inside out and weighed me down, but Xiumin mentioned picking up Wooyoung and hanging in my dorm room before he left for Florida. I stupidly agreed. Then they came back with two six-packs of beer. “Guys! I can’t have alcohol in the dorms!” I hissed and Wooyoung smirked as he took a seat on my bed.

“Like your RA cares, you’re legal to drink alcohol and it’s not like we stole the beer or got you spirits,” the soldier sighed and Xiumin tossed him a bottle opener, which he used to pop off the cap.

“Ugh, I guess I could use a beer…” I sighed and Wooyoung handed me his. I took a long drink and felt the liquid cool down my nerves and stress. The glory of alcohol. I once said I would never drink again, when I was a teen and drunkenly gave Tiffany my first kiss, but I grew up only to appreciate alcohol.

“So, Xiumin tells me you’re preying on a teen at the hospital,” Wooyoung noted and I nearly spat out my beer.

“That’s not true, I’m not “preying” on her!” I glared at Xiumin, who innocently held up his hands. “He’s bullting you.”

“Hey, you’re spending tons of time with her even though she’s not a patient,” Xiumin noticed.

“Dude, Jieun’s a teen and her friends haven’t been discharged yet. All of them are just bored and follow me around because I take care of them,” I said and drank the rest of my beer, gesturing for another one.

“Is she cute?” Wooyoung asked and I nearly hit him on the head with my empty bottle.

“Dude! She’s a minor!” Xiumin scolded.

“I was just wondering! You guys make it look like I’m gonna kidnap her!” he yelled.

“Psh, we don’t know what you’re gonna do, you e,” I said sarcastically and he groaned, falling on my bed.

“Well, if we’re being honest, she is pretty cute,” Xiumin confessed and I shrugged. I felt my phone ring and I took it from my back pocket, immediately answering when I saw it was Tiffany. I missed her like crazy. I hated it when we didn’t talk and I was so glad she was the one to call me first.

“Hey, did I wake you up?” she asked softly and I sighed, shaking my head even though she couldn’t see me.

“No, I’m with Xiumin and Wooyoung; I got off shift about 20 minutes ago,” I said and she hummed.

“Are you drinking?” she guessed and I took a swig.

“How’d you know?” I wondered.                               

“You slur a bit when you’re tipsy,” she giggled and I smiled, glancing at Xiumin and Wooyoung who grinned at me. “Be careful not to drink too much, take care of yourself, Baby.”

“I won’t and I will, don’t worry about me, Hun,” I told her.

“I told my members about us,” she suddenly blurted out and I sat up a little straighter, interested in what they thought. “They-they’re okay with it…they don’t mind,” she continued and I let out a sigh of relief. I was scared for her. Just because they worked together didn’t mean anything, I was afraid that they wouldn’t like her uality and exclude her, but I was relieved that they were closer than I expected. “They know I love you.”

“I love you, Fany-ah,” I breathed. I noticed Xiumin and Wooyoung quietly talking and I wondered for a moment what they were saying, if they were talking about Tiffany and I.

“Have you been thinking?” she wondered carefully and I hummed. I curled up and adjusted my position so I was more comfortable. I finished off my beer and held back the urge to take another.

“Yeah, a little bit. Things have been busy at the hospital so I’m trying to focus, but yeah, I’ve thought about things a little bit,” I responded.

“We have time, I won’t be back for a while, so don’t stress about it, okay?” Tiffany sounded like she was right beside me. I wanted her right beside me.

“I miss you,” I drawled and she sniffed a bit. I hope I didn’t just make her cry.

“I miss you too,” she whispered and I played with my empty bottle. I held my phone to my ear like it was meant to be there. I heard Korean in the background and then Tiffany was speaking. She sighed. “I have to go to rehearsals now, get some sleep soon and be strong for me.”

“I will, I love you so damn much, Fany,” I said, my voice getting lower and raspier with each second. I think I’m getting tired.

“I love you more, TaeTae,” she replied and I waited for her to hang up first. Xiumin, Wooyoung, and I proceeded in finishing the rest of the beer before the pair passed out on my bed, leaving me on the floor.