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{1}

Tiffany looked up at me with gentle eyes and looked back down at her food. I raised an eyebrow at her reaction. “TaeTae, can we talk about that in a more private setting?” she asked and I sighed, letting out a breath that I didn’t realize I was holding. Of course, I shouldn’t have even said that. We’re in public for Christ’s sakes.

“Yeah, sorry, I was just thinking out loud,” I said and she smiled, squeezing my hand.

“It’s okay, you do that a lot nowadays,” she noted and I gave her a slight smile. I ordered our entrees and turned back to Tiffany, who ate her mac and cheese happily. “I can’t tell you the last time I ate such good food,” she groaned in satisfaction and I chuckled.

“Don’t get used to it, you have to go back to being an idol in a few days,” I mumbled and she frowned a little. Both of us were launched into a quiet spell, thinking about not being with each other for months to come. It was depressing. We didn’t talk much during her events and whenever she was taking a break and in the car, she was tired and often passed out in the middle of conversations. That made communication frustrating and the need to see each other in person grew almost unbearably.

“Do you really think of me as your soul mate?” Tiffany whispered and I sighed, nodding once. I’ve loved her for so long, I couldn’t think about anyone else I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

“When we’re apart I feel kind of empty, but I believe that you’re worth every minute,” I mumbled and she touched my hand again. I gently rubbed my thumb over her hand. “I don’t know, you’re a part of me.”

“I love you, I admitted it a long time ago, but sometimes I still feel like I don’t deserve you,” Tiffany admitted and I sighed deeply.

“Hun, there are times where I feel like I don’t deserve you, but I know we both deserve someone that takes care of us. I take care of you, you take care of me. It seems like a good relationship,” I said and she hummed.

“We have a great relationship,” she corrected and we both smiled. “I don’t know what I would’ve done in Korea without you,” she confessed and I sighed deeply. Tiffany didn’t know how to do many things when she first moved to South Korea. She didn’t do any chores and couldn’t drive. She couldn’t sleep alone and hated meeting new people. It was extremely difficult for her to cope.

“Would you have come back to the states if I wasn’t supportive?” I wondered and she shrugged.

“Maybe, my passion versus my best friend sounds awful,” she grumbled and I nodded. “I mean, my members aren’t bad, but they have their own to go through and they’re nothing compared to you.”

“I get it, Xiumin is a great friend but I miss you so often,” I sighed and she leaned forward to kiss me but I gently pushed her leg and she stopped. I shook my head and she nodded. Not in public where people can see you. We know Americans can recognize you.

“I promise I’ll talk to you more often,” she told me and I sighed deeply. The waiter came back with our food and I shooed him away before he could even look at Tiffany. I didn’t speak and simply gave her a small bowl of my seafood pasta while she put a chunk of sirloin on my plate.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, okay Hun?” I reminded her and she stared down at her plate, poking at her food before eating.

Tiffany was first to hop into my car while I finished paying our bill. A part of me was eager to leave, since we hadn’t done anything besides hold hands during lunch, but I was also a bit anxious. I suddenly wanted to talk about my future, our future, together. She never truly liked talking about hefty topics, but after becoming an idol she was more open to the idea of talking. I took a deep breath and put my wallet in my back pocket, walking back to the car. You’re okay, it’s okay. It’s Tiffany, nothing bad will happen, the worst has already happened. I noticed a few people slow down when seeing through the window. Damn. They noticed her. I quickly jumped into my car, buckled up, and drove away from the pier. “! Damn, you’re fast!” she told me and I shook my head.

“Some pedestrians were slowing down by your window, I think they recognized you,” I told her and she groaned, leaning back.

“Ew, did they have their phones out? Please tell me they didn’t get a picture because that would look so scandalous, being in a car that isn’t mine or my company’s,” she whined and I shook my head again.

“No phones or cameras, I think they were kind of confused about whether it was you or not,” I breathed and she put her hand on my arm, relaxing.

“Good, I hope they didn’t get your license plate,” she added.

“It’s fine, I’m sure they didn’t, and even if so, I’d kick their if they came asking for you,” I grumbled and my girlfriend laughed, slapping my arm. I grinned at her. God your laugh is hilarious.

“Of course, my little TaeTae can kick ,” she said sarcastically and I rolled my eyes.

“Don’t judge,” I mumbled and she pinched my cheek. “We’re heading back to my dorm, is that okay?”

“Yeah, there’s no better place to get it on.” I slapped her repeatedly while keeping my eyes on the road and she laughed even louder.

“Oh my God! You’re nasty, shut your mouth!” I scolded but she only cracked up more, patting my burning cheek. “Don’t joke about that!”

“Why? Does it get you excited?” she joked and I started slapping her again. “Yah! Both hands on the wheel!”

“ you,” I swore and she still giggled when pecking my cheek. “Don’t kiss me.”

“Aw, Baby, don’t be so petty,” she pinched my cheek and I tried my best to frown. “You’re adorable, get us back to your place,” she sighed and patted my thigh, making me smile. I took a deep breath, feeling slightly tired over the panic I had only minutes ago. Why does Tiffany have to have such a pretty and memorable face? “Are you okay?”

“That was the first time in a while I had to hurry up and speed off like that,” I said, tapping the wheel as I turned. “Just a little tired…”

“When we’re talking about stuff we can lie down,” she rubbed my shoulder and I hummed. I noticed her fumbling around before taking my phone out of my pocket and hooked it up with the car. “Aw, you have my songs on here?”

“Of course I do, at least, the ones I really like,” I said and suddenly heard the intro to Big Bang’s We Like to Party busting through my speakers. Instinctively, I bobbed my head to the beat and smiled as Tiffany sang along. It felt good; it was a great song for driving around. Somehow I started singing too, extremely happy. “Damn, driving with this song feels so good.”

“Your voice still sounds nice,” Tiffany told me and pet my head as I loosely followed the song and moved my head playfully.

“If I wasn’t driving I’d also dance,” I told her and she laughed. “God, how do you know me so well?”

“We’re just soul mates,” she kissed my cheek and we both sang along to the song, putting it on loop and rolling down the windows.

While Tiffany and I were getting out of the car, I felt my phone buzz. I flicked it out and answered. “Hello?”

“Taeng! Is it possible for you to lend me cash?” Wooyoung asked me and I slapped myself.

“You’re in the goddamned air force, where did your money go?!” I whined and Tiffany laughed out loud, clapping her hands. After graduating, Wooyoung enlisted in the air force as it was his childhood dream. He did well and was a good soldier, no doubt but he had random problems and, since being stationed in L.A, asked for solutions to these problems.

“I lost my cash! Can’t you just feed me?” he complained and I rolled my eyes.

“Yah! I’m in medical school, goddammit, you think I have cash to spare?!” I scolded him.

“Didn’t you say Tiffany was in town…?” he suggested and I sighed, handing over my phone to the idol who accepted it happily.

“What’s up, Wooyoung?” she greeted and we started walking inside because it was getting outrageously hot. I listened to her humming as she listened to his talking. I admit, it was a little surprising to see Tiffany getting along with some of my friends whom I thought never talked to her before. Yet, whenever I brought them up nowadays, she was familiar and comfortable with them. “I don’t have much money, Tae buys for me whenever I visit,” she confessed and suddenly I heard Woo’s voice blasting through the phone, angry and upset. She grinned. “Hey! I’m her girlfriend! This is a different story!” she insisted and I helped her up the stairs since my room was only on the second floor. “Well, how much do you need? Because I’m leaving Cali in a few days and if I show up to my manager without any money he’s gonna get pissed.” He?

“Your manager’s a guy?” I asked her and she put her hand on my face.

“Don’t get jealous please, he’s nothing like you,” she said quickly and I sighed, holding her hand as we walked down the halls. “My company gave me $500 bucks for the week, yeah I know they’re hella cheap, but I spent about $200 of that for my other members. You can have two hundred and I’ll talk to Tae about the other half.”

“Half?! He wants four hundred?!” I scoffed, unlocking my door and letting her inside.

“Talk to your other friends and text Tae if you get more money, she’s not kidding, medical school is tough and it’s cost is a too. Yeah, okay see you later. Taeng says bye too, mhm,” she finished and tossed my phone onto the table while I sat down on my bed. I rubbed my eyes with my fingertips and Tiffany kissed my shoulder. Wooyoung, why do you have to stress me out so much? “He’s coming by later, just so you know.”

“I can’t believe you’re giving him $200,” I noted and she shrugged with a light smile.

“He’s a good friend of yours,” she said and I hummed. “He needs it, he’s transferring again.”

“No!” I groaned and she patted my head. “Where is he going now?”

“Florida, Patrick Air Force Base,” she told me and I tapped her knee, sighing. Wooyoung had been stationed in California for about two years. We spent a lot of time together with Xiumin and often did stupid things, as per usual. I remembered one time, the two of them tricked me into stealing two six-packs of beer and they brought me to an empty lot where we spray painted one wall. It was loads of fun.

“I miss my friends,” I confessed and Tiffany combed her fingers through my hair. “I miss the percussionists, the Mafia, the es. Not everyone’s available in California and I don’t have the time to go back home.”

“I know, Babe, it’s hard. You’ve done so much, I’m so proud of you, and I know you get lonely. It like Hell, but becoming this person is worth it and you only have a few more years left. I know you can get through it,” she mumbled and kissed my cheek again. I sighed and looked at her as she brushed my hair with her fingers. I can get through it.

“I’m sorry I get lonely so easily and make you visit me more than you should,” I mumbled and she smiled.

“Don’t apologize, I miss you too and California’s beautiful. It’s always worthwhile seeing you,” she kissed my nose and I laid on her lap, grinning. “Knowing you smiled isn’t the same as seeing it in person.”

“Yeah, being with you in person beats everything,” I whispered and she leaned down, gently kissing my lips. I couldn’t help but smile into it. I didn’t like kissing her too often, but I admitted that it was always sweet. I pulled back and she pecked my lips once more. I sighed deeply. Being with you beats everything. “We should get married…” I repeated and Tiffany’s smile dropped a little bit. I tilted my head. “Too soon?” I guessed as my heart was beating inside of my neck.

“I don’t think I want to get married…”