The door was still closed. Both of them waited on the bench in front of the emergency room. Seungho rubbed his face. It was fortunate that he went to Joon's house. Sanghyun couldn't possibly handle Joon alone. Not when even the younger almost collapsed at the sight of the blood oozing out of Joon's wound onto the floor. Painting the white marble with scarlet colored liquid. It was almost like a nightmare that they couldn't wake up from.

When he opened the door to Joon's room before, he gasped seeing Joon was already on the floor, unconscious. Glasses shattered on the floor near the limp body. Joon probably fall while trying to stand up, bringing the glass jar and mug on his bedside falling down with him onto the floor and somehow managed to get a long wound on his arm from the shattering shards of glasses. Sanghyun became a crying mess when Joon won't respond to their calling, totally out in cold. It was really fortunate that he was there. He couldn't- No. He wouldn't even imagine what could have happened if he wasn't there.

Seungho lift up his head when he heard sniffles from his side. He ruffled Sanghyun's hair. "Stop crying. Joon will be okay." He assured the worried lad. Yes. Sanghyun was no longer his responsibility. Sanghyun was no longer one of MBLAQ members. But this time, he wasn't acting like a leader. He was trying to be an older brother. And between brothers, they were simply family eventhough they were no longer in a same group. Just simply brothers. But... Wasn't them the ones who had broken off even that bond?

Sanghyun nodded and wiped away his remaining tears. There was silence for a moment until Sanghyun started back. "H-hyung. How come you... Came to Joon hyung's house?"

"I read your texts for Cheolyong." Seungho noticed how Sanghyun stiffened at his statement as the younger drifted away his eyes to the floor. Looking down guiltily. It saddened Seungho that Sanghyun thought meeting Mir was wrong. How could that be wrong? What was so wrong about two friends wanted to meet each other? It saddened him more knowing he was probably one of the reason why Sanghyun thought so.

"I'm sorry." 

It was barely above whisper, yet Seungho heard it clearly. Seungho felt his gut twisted at those two words. It reminded him of Joon. They shouldn't be sorry. They had done nothing wrong. They shouldn't be sorry... What had he done? What had he done to his dongsaeng?

Seungho sighed deeply. It was all too late to regret. Seungho turned to Sanghyun and gave a small smile. "You have been meeting Cheolyong?"

The same guilt flashed across Sanghyun's features. He looked down, almost bowing, looking similar to a child who had been caught doing something wrong. "Y-yea..." He mumbled quietly.

"Hey... I'm not mad."

Sanghyun looked up in surprise. "You aren't?"

"No... Pabo. Whoever Cheolyong want to meet, I have no right to be angry about."

Sanghyun chewed on his bottom lips. One burden had been lifted up from his chest. "What about Byunghee hyung?" Yet another burden stayed unmoving, blocking him from breathing as Seungho could only give a small sad smile as answer.

"Give him time."

"How long?"

Seungho shrugged. "I don't know." There was another moment of silent between them. "I'm glad you and Cheolyong had been meeting."

"Wae?"

"So you guys won't feel the same pain as us." When Seungho said those words, he didn't mean it in a bad way. He was truly glad Mir had done this. He was relieved knowing at least one of them three had shown love instead of hate to the other two because he believed, if Mir hadn't done that, the two former of MBLAQ might have been as broken as the trio had been before. And he never wished for that to happen no matter how much he had been hurt. 

At least Mir had taken part of the burden of the guilt from them by doing that. And Mir had put a stop to that cycle of destruction. And he knew he would always be grateful to the maknae for that.

He knew GO was probably the same too. Sure, GO said he hated the two. However intense the hate GO carried in his heart, they were still brothers, once... He knew perfectly GO wouldn't want them to suffer like he did. It just that... GO was hurting... So he ended up lashing it on the two. They were hurt.

Seungho's train of thoughts were stopped when he felt a cold hand reaching out for his. "Hyung. Can't we still be like before?" Sanghyun asked with pleading eyes.

Seungho swallowed before a small smile curved on his lips as he remembered GO's words. So, he chose to repeat those words while patting on Sanghyun's hand. "One day." Because he had chosen to trust GO. So... That would be exactly what he would keep doing. Trust.

○○○○○

GO looked over the sick maknae. He exhaled a long breath. Mir had to stay in the ward for the whole day and could only go home tomorrow if his fever was down. Luckily it wasn't as bad as it seemed. He sighed. Maknae really had him scared good.

GO sat up when he saw Mir's long eyelashes fluttering before those soft brown orbs revealed from behind the lids. Mir's eyes darted blankly towards the ceiling before it fall on GO who was sitting by his bedside. "Hyung?" He called, voice cracking and he released a bout of cough, grimacing in pain.

Standing up, GO pour a glass of water which was always prepared on the table next to the head of the bed. He slipped one hand under Mir's head and help the younger to prop up a bit while his other hand holding a glass of water. "Here."

GO let Mir lied comfortably on the bed again after taking a few more sip of the water, relieved as the pained creases on Mir's features slowly ceased. "H-hyung." Mir called in a small voice.

Just by looking at him, GO could guess already that something was bothering the maknae. And he already had an idea on what it could be that cause the maknae to looked around the room nervously, hands fiddled with the blanket, almost ripping the material if it wasn't for Mir was still sick and hadn't as much strength as he possessed when he had his perfect health.

"So you lied." GO blurted out. His voice monotone and his features unfazed. Poker face that GO knew Mir never fond of, because he couldn't read the older. Because GO's feelings were well-hidden.

Mir froze. He felt a blade flew and plunged deep into his chest, reaching the beating organ there. Those words felt like poison to him. Poison that burn his very blood, searing his vein throughout his whole body in burning sensation, yet it was freezingly cold as well. His blood freeze, too cold that it was burning.

"Why? Why did you lie?"

This was it. Mir couldn't possibly evade this question. Truth was out. Yes,he didn't really remember details about what had happened but he managed to pick up some important fragments. Like the fact that his secret was already unraveled. And also the fact that him, Byunghee and Sanghyun had met in that kind of heavy environment. 

GO smiled. But it wasn't sincere. It was the kind of smile that made Mir's heart twinge in pain. A small bitter smile. "Am I that pathetic? Am I that pitiful to you?"

Mir sat up, ignoring the short moment of black spots covering his sight. Holding up his pounding head, he forced himself to stay sitting up. With his darkened vision, he reached out blindly for GO and grabbed tight when he felt GO's hand in his. "Hyung. I don't- Ugh..." Mir ended up groaning in pain as his head felt like splitting into two.

Seeing the maknae blanched and swayed dangerously, GO stood up and held Mir's outstretched hand. He felt how Mir's fingers wrapped around his hand in almost painfully tight hold. As if the maknae was afraid that he would disappear.

Once his vision cleared back, he saw GO was already sitting next to him on the bed. Their hands interwined, Mir slumped against GO as the older hold him in a half hug, looking worried. 

Mir scoffed quietly. "I can't believe this." He whispered. 

"Cheolyong?"

Mir looked up to GO sadly. "I have hurt you, haven't I?" If only he could hit himself for being such a softie. For unable to keep the wall of facade around his feeling unmoving. Now, he had done it. He had done the thing he hated the most. Hurting GO. "I'm such a useless piece of-"

Mir stopped himself when he felt GO's grip on his hand and arm tightened. He was brought closer to GO as the older put his chin on top of Mir's head. "Don't ever say things like that again." There was obvious guilt evident in his voice. Guilt for being the reason for Mir's torn up feeling. Because it was never Mir's fault. Those words from Mir just threw more guilt into his chest, weighing him down.

Mir closed his eyes when he felt tears prickling in the corner of his eyes. He really needed to stop crying already. What was wrong with him? Why was he such a weakling these days? He needed to be strong. "I'm sorry that I fail. I have promised to protect you but I... I've failed. I'm not strong enough." He just wasn't strong enough to push his own feeling aside.

GO pulled away a bit so he could meet Mir's soft brown orbs. "And I, you." Mir looked up to GO with uncertainty in his eyes. "I have promised myself to protect you as well. You don't have to always act strong. Remember, I'm the older one here."

"Why am I too weak?" It was a rhetoric question for himself, but GO heard him and responded to him.

"Being able to be true to yourself and being able to show your feeling is not weak, Cheolyong. It is a strength."

A small smile tugged on the corner of Mir's lips despite the situation. "Hyung sound like appa." He whispered.

"Do I, huh..." GO smiled fondly at the maknae yet his smile faltered as he saw something in Mir's brown orbs. There was still remaining question. A question that needed a certain answer. A question he couldn't avoid.

"Hyung..." Mir called and put his hand over GO's chest. His eyes never leaving GO's black orbs, making sure to read them carefully. He wanted to make sure there would be no more lies between them. Not even from himself. "Does it still hurt here?"

GO inhaled and ruffled Mir's silky locks affectionately. "Not anymore. Because you're here with me." It was the truth. Mir had healed him. He wanted Mir to know that. He wanted Mir to stop blaming himself. It was never Mir's fault.

Mir nodded. He felt hope bubbling in the pit of his stomach. His hyungs... Had healed and maybe. Just maybe... He will finally get to see his four hyungs together again. Like they used to be in the past. No... Mir had to put a chain around his hope. He couldn't let his hope went up too high or he would come down crashing on the ground.

"Thank you hyung."

There was a moment of silent as the duo simply enjoyed each other's presence in silent. It wasn't a silence that chained them in an empty dark space anymore. It was the kind of silence filled with peace and bliss as if they were in the middle of calm lake with blue bright sky as the umbrella. It was no longer dark. No longer empty. There was no longer hurting claws of silent, dragging scars over their hearts, instead, it was a soothing like the touch of the silk kind of silent. 

However, one question stirred the moment. But only for a short moment. "Cheolyong... If you have to choose. Between them and us, who would you choose?"

Mir swallowed. Choice? Why were choices never came easy to him? Why were choices always tearing him apart. But if he really had to choose...

"No. Don't answer that." Just as Mir was opening his mouth, GO cut him off and again, pulled him into a hug. "I don't want to know." He said and Mir's hair. "Sometimes, it's better to not know."

"But-" Mir stopped himself when he felt GO's hold on him tightened. He smiled and buried his face into GO's shoulder. "Hyung. You're still secretly my favourite." He smiled even more when GO's chuckles reached him.

"What a little liar you are." GO commented but a smile evident in his voice."Another question, then..."

"Hurm?"

"So..." Mir looked up with curiosity once GO started again. He rose his brows as he saw GO grinned at him. "You actually have no girlfriend?" He asked mockingly. When Mir only blinked absentmindedly, dumbstruck, GO continued again with mocking manner. "I knew it..."

"Hyung!"

"What? None of you can date before I can because I'm the most good looking one among us." GO continued.

"Ugh! Shut up, hyung!"

○○○○○

GO blinked opened his eyes once his phone vibrated in his jeans pocket. Seeing Mir was sound asleep, he took the call once he was outside of Mir's room. It was Mir's number but it was Seungho on the other line.

"Where are you?" He asked and explained on how Mir was worsened this afternoon and now was in ward. Well... Rather than explaining, he was actually ranting. He was greeted with silence once he finished, which was weird. He thought Seungho would bombarded him with barrages of questions once he heard about Mir's condition yet the older was keeping his silent. "Hello? Seungho?" He called for a few more times until Seungho finally answered. GO's eyes slowly widened as he listened to Seungho's hesitant voice attentively. "...Where are you now? Wha-here? I'll be there."

Cutting off the call, GO ran through the hallway, almost knocking into a nurse. Once he reached the room Seungho told him about, he pushed open the door and saw two men sitting on the chair by the bedside. Seungho was holding his head in his hands, Sanghyun was looking down on the ground, both looking equally worried and tired.

GO approached the bed quietly and bit his lips once his view was greeted with pale and weak sight of Joon, lying unmoving on the bed. An IV fluid was attached to the back of the younger's hand. Joon's other hand was bandaged along the arm.

"How is he?" GO asked and he didn't miss the way Sanghyun jumped to his feet at his appearance and was staring at him with wide eyes.

"He's okay now. How's Cheolyong?" Seungho asked back.

Sanghyun snapped his head to Seungho. "Cheolyong? What's wrong with Cheolyong?"

"He's fine too. He's sleeping." GO informed. He looked over to Sanghyun and gave the younger the maknae's ward room and a short, simple explanation. Once he got it, Sanghyun nodded and rushed out of the room, calling a smile to GO's lips at his antic.

Seungho stood up, clasping his hand on GO's shoulder. "Is it okay if I leave him with you?" He asked with deep meaning. He didn't need a lot. Just a small nod from GO gave him the assurant he needed. He clapped GO's shoulder a few times more before, he, himself, headed to the sick maknae.

GO stood still on his spot as he watched over the sleeping figure on the bed. Joon was sleeping, undisturbed by his presence. He took a step forward and exhaled a shaky breath. It hadn't been that long but Joon looked different. His heart hurt watching this state of Joon. He felt his throat suddenly went dry and right at this moment, a realization struck him hard like a lightning bolt. Seeing Joon or Sanghyun did hurt him. But, seeing Joon like this hurt him more than he could imagine. It couldn't even compare to the hurt he was going through before. This... Was far much intense.

GO's eyes trailed down to Joon's unmoving hand. Hesitantly, he reached out, pausing a few times until his tip of fingers barely touched Joon's slightly curled finger. Seeing the bandaged arm, he didn't want to hurt the younger more, so he let his hand ghosted there. 

"I'm sorry that I made you wait for too long." He whispered. He watched Joon's knitted brows relaxed. The tension on his face disappeared as the younger exhaled a deep breath. Smile ghosting on his pale lips, making GO who was watching to smile as well. He was sure by now, Joon was having a nice dream. And from this time onwards... There would be only good memories... Just leave all those pain behind...