Getaway

It hurts

Some words later might be familiar cuz this I got inspiration for this fic from the news (which some are not true. Pfft~ Reporters *roll eyes* always exaggerated celebrities' words. But thanks to that I got all angsty and all) and also from the lyric in both songs by mblaq 'Mirror' and 'tree'

 

Mir woke up first. He found Seungho was making breakfast and GO was nowhere in sight. He pulled the chair on the kitchen counter quietly. 

"Morning, hyung." He greeted. He knew his greet wasn't accompanied with his bright sunshine smile. Instead of morning greeting, he knew it sounded more like a mournful greeting, but he couldn't help it. He couldn't change it. This was him now. So bitter...

"Morning." Seungho greeted back. Just as empty as Mir sounded. These were they now. Bitter... Empty...

Mir took a glance at the forced smile on Seungho's lips. He knew, even smiling felt awkward to the older. Sometimes, he wished Seungho would stop doing that. Stop faking a smile and just let it out. Let his innermost feeling out. But, having GO like that and he, himself like this, maybe that fake smile still was needed anyhow. Because they would burnt into ashes if all of them submit under the depression.

"Should I wake Byunghee hyung up?" Mir asked. Though the conversation seemed normal, but whoever heard them could tell the darkness enveloping their voices. The pain that adorned their features. They were only pretending to be normal. They were only pretending to be okay. Pretention... That was the only thing they could do to keep going. And until another meaningless day passed, they would keep pretending. This life was like a big stages with them as actors.

At least those pretensious were the thing that still linked them with the outside world. If one day they decided to stop pretending, they would cut off all the strings connecting them with the realities and finally, giving into the darkness. Because, it seemed easier that way.

"It was a long night." Seungho said and put a plate of breakfast in front of Mir before he pulled a chair facing the youngest. Mir nodded in understanding and they ate in silence. Silence that had chained them down since that heartbreaking news of Joon and Sanghyun leaving. Silence that slowly the light out of their eyes one by one, sending them into a dark hole of depression.

 

○○○○○

 

Mir opened the door to his room when he heard restless shuffles in the living room. Peeking his head from behind the door, he saw GO pacing back and forth in front of the long couch while biting his nails. Mir kept watching until his second oldest hyung disappeared into the kitchen.

Mir released a heavy sighed. He slowly trailed after his hyung into the kitchen and saw GO was stuffing his mouth with ice cream Seungho bought yesterday all the while, couldn't stop shifting and twisting in his seat. The main vocalist just couldn't calm down.

GO had too. He needed distraction. He was anxious. His heart kept beating fast when no one by his side that he thought he was about to have a heart attack. His palms were clammy and sweaty. He kept feeling panic rushed through his vein. His stomach twisted in sick feeling. He feared of everything. His fear was unreasonable. But, fear was a feeling. And feeling was almost always unreasonable.

He kept stuffing the cold desert in his mouth, wincing when he felt his temple hurt by the freezing coldness of the ice cream. He kept eating until he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned and saw Mir looking down on him.A pair of eyes that somehow was too similar with his own. A pair of eyes that was weary and dull.

"Hyung. Game?"

GO swallowed the spoon of the ice cream that he just shoved into his mouth. He blinked at Mir's sudden request. When there was no answer coming out of his mouth, the maknae forced a smile to his lips and repeated.

"Please?" Mir pleaded while unnoticedly pulled the container of ice cream away from GO's grasp. He didn't want to see GO overeating and ended up bending in the toilet, throwing it all out again. Yes, again. GO had did that too many times before. And GO needed to stop. If the older couldn't stop by himself, he would try. At least this much, he could do.

 

○○○○○

 

And after that request from Mir, GO found his getaway. Virtual life. A game. He indulged himself unhealtily into games. Kept playing days and night, losing his sleep sometimes. Dark circles even started forming under the ring of his eyes. But, it made him felt better. He didn't feel suffocated like the walls in the room were closing into him and trying to crush him until what was left of him was nothing.

And he felt better. Yes... He felt better. But that didn't mean he was doing better. But, Mir, as a loyal dongsaeng, stayed with GO. Just like GO, he drowned himself in the games. He accompanied GO in the secluded nest they had built for themselves. More like Mir had started to built for the sake of GO but it wasn't right. They strayed away from reality.

These games were a nest for them. A safety fort for them where only two of them were the only ones living in it. And two wasn't so bad. Better than alone. And GO found himself couldn't stop. He didn't want to get out from the illusion. It was better than reality and even better that Mir was here with him. Because he knew Mir won't leave him. It was like dying, but knowing someone was there too and would even die with him if it was needed, dying didn't seem so bad now, did it?

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meemow123 #1
Chapter 38: ... I knew I couldnt resist and stay away for long T.T
I came back!!! Heee ... :)
Chapter 35 I got the most tunmy aches which means its the saddest?? Lol ...
Mireu's "RAT!!!" lol I cant believe the hyungs fell for it again XD
meemow123 #2
Chapter 38: Oh gods why am I so ...
I think this is likecthe twentieth time I have come back to read this fic. Lol ... All these feels are killing me .. >.<
This is so sweet and that ending YES it is absolute PERFECTION well done!!!
Weird ... Am I the only one who gets a weird little ache in my tummy very time I read a angsty or touching scene? It feels weirdly nice. O.O should I be freaked out??
XD
so touching this is the BEEEEEST!!!!! *thumbs up*
i_am_not_here
#3
You see that little number by the up-pointing arrow?
Take it and double it, triple it, times it by one million billion trillion zillion because if I could, I would do just that! Damn me not having an email so I can't upvote! But I subscribe!
I cried ... This is so heart-warming but so SAD ugh the tears won't stop ...
Poor Joon and Thunder they must've been going through a lot :'(
ok. Thank the holy chicken nuggets for the happy ending. Happy ending ... With so much angst but still a happy ending! Just how I like it!!! *grinning like an idiot*
well done you are so amazing and talented I cried at every single chapter (still am now ...) I broke the record, haha
pleeaseee make more fanfic like this cough-happy-ending-cough!! I would love you forever!
Hehehe ... This is a piece of art and should be published. :)
injeong
#4
Chapter 38: ... I read it again ... And I'm crying again ... And omg, that bromance. That.bromance. *nodding* I'm like YEEEEEEES!! There is rarely any good bromance these days ... *pouts* and your fic was the one that got me well and truly into MBLAQ ...
Did I mention that this is the perfect example of the fics I love to read? Angsty, scenes that make me cry, but that "LOOL" moments (Mir's "RAT!!!" bit ... Ah lol xDDDD), oh yeah, BROMANCE :D thank you so much for writing this, and good luck in da future!
Ps. Your karma, falling sick when you make MBLAQ sick. Coincidence? I think not xD >.< loool MBLAQ's guardian angel (namely, me) got angry, LOOOOL
xDDDD
Mir is too cute for his own good :") and Seungho, out lovely leader. Yayyyyyyyyyy ~ ^_^
milkyboy_khun
#5
Chapter 38: DAEBAAAAAAAAAK AUTHORNIM!!!!!! OHMYGOD THIS IS AMAAAAAAAZING!!!!!!
I love it so much, you are such a great writer ... Even though I only knew MBLAQ from like a week ago from their (aboely awesome) song This Is War, I still somehow miss them as OT5. *cries* Why did they leave?
And ohmygod Mir is such an adorable maknae!!!!!! Oww, such a sweetie =^_^=
Thank GOD they made up. They deserve a happy ending. I LOVE happy endings (but am a huge fan of angsty tragedies too tho ...)
well done (and now for my favourite saying)
you deserve a thousand cookies but since I can't do that have a nice big chunky comment instead.
<33333333 MBLAQ ot5 foreverrrrr ...
*sniffs* poor MBLAQ. I hope they never suffer that that in real life ...
Anyways well done authornim I will hope for more!! You are awesome!!
Mbk <33333333
blaqlady #6
Chapter 38: WOOWWWW DAEBAKKKKK!!!!!!!
alicianime
#7
Chapter 38: wooow, this fanfic made me cry so much that I finish it with the biggest smile ever
okay, what happened in this fic is SO possible to happen in real life that makes me sad think that we, as fans, wouldn't be able to help any from our fav idols even if we wanted (((just like kikwang tryed in the fic))) and maybe just hurt them even more asking the exmembers or the remain members miss each other. (if we're able to know what happen among them, 'cause we barely know their problems T.T)
and how auto-destructive an old friendship can be T.T
for a moment, I thought Seungho, seeing Mir situation, would be the one who fix everything but he only wasn't worse than GO. It's pretty fluffy how maknae line can be, how Thunder manage to understand the mute Mir while cycling. ugh. And GO, then Joon bad just made sick too ;A;
I'm so in love with 5MBLAQ again and again and again after this. I don't know if I should thank you or make a lot of compliments. maybe both.
lots of love ♥
oh, I almost forgot to comment about your writing. GOD, I recently get bored really fast with so descriptive writing and when the characters pass all the fic trying to solve only one problem, in this case, their broken friendship. But, I don't know what you got that addicted me to your fic. And there's one more thing, your habit to repeat the same sentence to intensify a feeling, (well, I don't know if this is bad in an major writer's(?) pont of view but) I loved it 'cause it really works on me. Maybe this solve why I was addicted to it, I was able to feel feelings with them by your writing(?????)
hnm... well... I think that's wall.
if I remember one more thing I want to comment I will just get back here. I can really let my thoughts about your fic pass away
bye '-'
ishimarumayu #8
Chapter 38: I love this story, I miss mblaq OT5
ainto87 #9
ive been crying quite a few timws throughoout the whole story :'))) i still hv some bitter feelings towards those two.. but i still love this story n tq sooo muchfor the happy ending :')))
RandomMaster27 #10
Chapter 38: That was one of the most well written fanfic stories I have ever read. I am so glad with the ending. YAY FOR HAPPY ENDINGS!!