Joon let out a harsh breath. His hand was gripping on the stack of papers with so much unnecessary strength that they crumpled at the force. He really couldn't focus on the script even when he tried real hard that he even felt his head throbbing due to migraine. Joon threw the script on the couch just next to him as he leaned his back on the couch. He let his head fall against the couch, looking up on the ceiling of his house. Looking up on the spinning fan. 

Too quiet. Too quiet except for the sound of the fan blades slashing the wind. Quiet except the sound of people talking from the movie playing on the TV in front of him. It was still too quiet. And when it was quiet, his mind tended to traveled back to the past. 

He closed his eyes as a smile formed on his face when he remembered the first time he entered JTune as trainee. How Seungho was looking pissed all the time but always gave awkward compliments to him when they met which he never failed to reply with much more awkward compliments to the older. How GO was certainly different from his expectation, looking like a thug with all the stache yet so polite and have voice of an angel. How he saw Mir for the first time, peeking at him from behind the practice room door as he was exercising and the maknae yelped and ran away when their eyes locked, obviously scared of him. Some more precious memories came to greet him.

But then, his smile faltered. His brows knitted when he remembered how those three precious friends of him now had hated him that much. GO's used to be caring eyes now were blazing with anger and despise. Seungho who only used his fist to protect him now had use that same fist to hurt him. Mir who was always standing by his side, supporting him and who ran to him in matter of seconds once the maknae knew he got hurt even just a small wound, now just walked away from his injured self coldly.

He opened his eyes, unable to bear seeing those cold hating eyes even when it was just in his memories. How could they hated him for what he did? Did he commit some grave crime? He really didn't understand. Was it that wrong to choose his career over MBLAQ? To put himself first before MBLAQ. Was that so wrong?

The muffled sound of someone calling his name from his front door caught his attention. He went towards the door with sour face only to be surprised seeing Sanghyun was panting, face flushing and Mir was in Sanghyun's arm, unconscious.

"H-help, hyung. I-I d-don't know what to do. Cheolyongie collapse." Sanghyun stuttered, panic evident in his charcoal orbs.

Joon swallowed and took a few seconds to overcome his shock before his face turned stoic. Eyes giving out icy gaze. "Then, why are you bringing him here? He hate us, remember?"

"B-but, hyu-"

"You can leave him out cold by the roadside for all I care!" Joon snapped.

Sanghyun shook his head frantically as he tossed Mir slightly in his arms as he felt Mir slipping off of his hold. "P-please, hyung. Help me." Sanghyun pleaded almost on the verge of tears. 

Joon was the only one he could think off when Mir fainted right before his eyes because Joon was the one who took care of Sanghyun most of the time when he was sick or stressed or got his usual sleeping disorder during the early days of them as MBLAQ. Not that the others didn't care, but during that time Joon was the closest one to him. The closest older brother he could rely on without any doubt. The image of that Joon had been implanted deep into his mind that he could only think of the older in situation like this.

It took him a bit longer time to become closer to the other, especially the maknae. Just because he warmed up with the other three a bit later, didn't mean he was less attached to them. No... Not at all. All four of them are his precious brothers. Well, even now. Even after all that had happened. His love for them never change.

Joon couldn't possibly rejected the younger's request. Thinking that he was doing this for Sanghyun and not for Mir, he stepped aside and held the door open. "Just take him to my room." He said and watched as Sanghyun nodded and rushed in the direction to Joon's room.

Joon was about to close the door when he saw a small paper lying on the doorway. He bent down and picked up the object. It was a picture. A picture of MBLAQ as five. A picture he was sure had seen in GO's bedroom often when he went to visit the dorm during the time they were still a group.He caressed it. Those precious memories...

Thank you for still reading this fic. I'm so touched you guys think this fic is good (T.T)