Seungho threw a few cautious glances on GO who was walking fast towards the dorm. He was trying to arrange his words but really, he didn't know where to start from.

"What is it?" GO suddenly skidded to a stop and his heels to face Seungho properly. It was hard not to notice the obvious staring from Seungho. He thought he would just wait until Seungho was finally ready to voice out whatever it was that was bothering the leader. But, still... Nothing came out from the other. And it had been days. So, GO took the lead and came out with the question.

Seungho flinched. "What? What?" He asked back, flustered.

GO crossed his arms. "I know I'm handsome and I don't mind people staring but it's getting creepy. Unless you're a girl."

GO's playful habit made Seungho relaxed a bit and chuckled as he shook his head in disbelief. It was really hard to see the serious side from GO these days. GO was coming back to his old self. A joker. A happy man. And because of that, Seungho hesitated even more to voice out his feeling. Because GO is finally happy.

"Come on. Spill it out." GO was... Well, very persistant.

Seungho put his fist over his mouth as he cleared his throat a bit. He started to walk again and GO quietly followed, matching the slow pace as they enjoy the refreshing night breeze on the way back to the dorm.

"Are you going to tell me or not?" GO pushed.

Seungho pursed his lips as he finally decided how should he brought this topic up. "You... Okay?" He asked awkwardly. Right... That didn't really go well... Seungho closed his eyes in frustration.

GO chuckled. "Huh? What kind of question is that?" He looked towards the now blushing Seungho with amusement.

Inhaling deeply, Seungho gathered back his composure. "Answer me honestly. You're getting better, right?" There was silence until Seungho asked again. "You're happy?"

GO hummed and looked upwards to the nightsky. There were no stars... "You don't see I'm crying here?" He joked.

"Stop fooling around. I'm being serious here."

"Ugh! Can't you take a joke, grandpa? Yes, I'm happy." He finally answered.

Seungho released a light breath and smiled. "I see Cheolyong is happy too these days."

"He is." GO replied as his features softened at the mention of their maknae. He smiled tenderly. He noticed Mir hadn't been as depressed as before. The youngest was smiling more. Laughing more. He was happy. They were happy.

"We... Are healing." Seungho added.

GO slung his hand around Seungho's shoulder as they approached the building of their dorm. "I'd say we have already healed." He corrected.

Seungho kept silent at GO's remark and did what he had been doing for these past few days again. Staring at the main vocalist. 

GO rolled his eyes. "What is it again? Just spill it out already." He demanded, intentionally tightened his arm around the leader's neck in a headlock.

Seungho was quick to rebut as he fake-punching GO's ribs. They laughed and when GO finally let Seungho go, Seungho inhaled deeply and put his hand on GO's shoulder, stopping his friend. They stood still in the lobby with Seungho suddenly looking serious and GO with question in his eyes.

"Are you going to tell me now?" 

Seungho his lips as he stared deeply into GO's dark orbs. "You think you can accept them back? As friend at least?"

"Who?"

Seungho had a blank moment at GO's naive question before he shot the main vocalist with his are-you-kidding-me-look. "I'm talking about them."

"Them... Who?"

"Are you serious?" Seungho gaped.

GO grinned playfully. "There are no them. Just us." He said and tried to pass it off as joke but Seungho wasn't accepting any of that. "Oh... Come on... Let's not spoil the mood." GO grumbled but he stopped when he saw the look in Seungho's eyes. Pain...

"I..." Seungho raised up his hand slightly and stared at it as the painful memories of him losing to his rage and was hurting Joon with his own hand came back to him. He shouldn't have done that. He inflicted pain on Joon physically but he was feeling that pain as well. Emotionally. But... He... He was just... 

And then, those tears on Joon's cheeks. That small timid shaky voice asking for forgiveness. Yet he and GO just coldly pushed Joon away. Even when he noticed the pleading look in Joon's eyes, he didn't say anything to comfort the younger. Because he had to choose. At that time, GO was faltering. His friend was crumbling in front of him. He saw it clearly. If he said anything in Joon's defense, he feared GO would take him wrong. He feared the history repeated itself. He feared those dark days filled with agony, anger, hatred and sadness came back to them. He feared of GO falling into that deep dark hole again.

There was too many things he feared of that he ended up with only silence. A mere statue watching over the scene unfolding before him. Watching GO's final defeated words reached Joon and became thousands of tiny needles pricking in his heart. In his conscience. Oh, he wished he was invisible. He wished he wasn't there so he didn't have to make such a painful choice. 

"I hate that I hurt him." Seungho finally said in a small voice. Eyes glimmering with unshed tears. He did it anyway. He hurt Joon over and over again. Somehow, he understood GO's fear. Those pain they had went through had caused them to be a bunch of cowards... Because they were cowards, they chose to hurt others instead of being hurt. And now... Not only them who were hurting. Joon too was hurting. He knew it too well. How can he stop all this? Stop this torturous cycle before all of them ended up destroyed.

GO sighed and held Seungho's hand tenderly. He caressed Seungho's knuckles with his thumb. There was no cut there. Not even bruises but somehow, the memory was there. Clear like a hideous scar because that fist had hurt their brother. "You hurt him because of me." He said quietly. "I hurt him too. I hurt him because I was hurting." GO covered Seungho's hand with both of his hands. "It's not your fault. It's mine." He admitted with sad smile.

"Can't we go back to the past?"

"I... I'm trying." GO revealed, looking up so his eyes met Seungho's.

"Huh?" Seungho was dumbfounded and for a moment, he was lost and couldn't understand GO's words. But as his eyes met those pair of dark orbs, as dark as the nightsky, he could see something there. Sincerity. GO was trying. The other was trying his hardest. He could see that. And without the need for GO to ask, he chose to trust GO. This time, he took the courage to put his trust on GO.

GO smiled as he squeezed Seungho's hand a bit. "Can you wait for a bit longer? Trust me, I'm trying." He said, voice wavering a bit, but he made sure his eyes never faltered from Seungho's. Because he wanted the leader to see that he was really trying. This time for sure.

True, he said that he had healed. However, healing the wound and accepting back the two were two different things. Now that he was healed, he focused on trying to accept those two. It wasn't easy. It would be just as hard as the time they were trying to heal. And to succeed, he just needed to be left alone. Because somehow, he always lost it when he came face to face with Joon. He needed time. For that, he had spoke those cruel words to Joon. The words that he couldn't take back. He hoped they could wait. All five of them. Wait for just a little bit more. Because he would try his hardest this time. To repair all those cracks. To chase away all those fear. To fix whatever left broken. To mend back the shattered trust... Just wait for a little bit more.

"One day?"

"One day."

*double updates*

-while reading karenkitty's idea, somehow, i found the path of the story again. Thanks, karenkitty ^^ and your idea might get altered. Not accident, but maybe fever? And maybe not mir? Coming soon. Thanks again karen~ because yea, someone need to get sick for more drama. *grin*-