When Hani woke up the next day, she was accompanied by a splitting headache. She groaned and rolled to her right, only to be met by the white shoe box. She stared at it for quite a while, wishing she had hidden it in a more secluded place. Out of all people, it just had to be her boyfriend that found it.

Ever so slowly, she swung her feet out of bed. She could see through the curtain that it was still dark, and she knew it would be cold, but she needed some fresh air. She felt suffocated with thoughts of Luhan and Yixing, not to mention her headache. She grabbed her jacket and the shoe box before she tiptoed her way out the apartment quietly.

Once outside, she wrapped her jacket tighter around her and took a deep breath, hoping it could clear her already messed up head. She had no idea where to go, but she allowed her legs to lead. She would stop when she was tired. In the meantime, she really had to think of what to do. What could she do?

Her fingers curled around the shoe box, and a breath of air escaped her parted lips. No one was supposed to find this box. This box contained her deepest, darkest secrets, secrets that she couldn't tell anyone, not even her twin. No one was supposed to know she loved Luhan.

Yes, she loved him. She probably had loved him since she first saw him. But she kept it to herself and vowed to never tell a soul. She was so scared of rejection. What if she confessed and he rejected her and they stopped being best friends forever? She couldn't have that. She would rather be his best friend and by his side than be apart from him. Besides, her feelings never mattered anyway because he never looked at her that way, until recently. When he told her he loved her after all these years, she couldn't deny the fact that her heart did a few leaps of joy at his confession. But at the same time, it was heartbreaking. Why did he have to love her when she already had Yixing? Why couldn't he have confessed when Yixing wasn’t in the picture? Now, unintentionally, she had hurt the most beautiful caring person she ever met, all because of Luhan’s late confession.

Yixing. Her heart ached at the thought of him. She probably never stopped loving Luhan, but when he started abandoning her during their early years in university, her feelings for him dulled. She went from being so in love with him to feeling fine even if he wasn’t around. And that was when she started noticing Yixing in the library. She watched him for three years, slowly developing a crush on him until that one fateful night that changed everything. And she was happy with Yixing. He was so amazing she couldn't have asked for anything more.

Her life with Yixing was perfect. She was ready to move on from Luhan. Except he wasn’t ready to let her go. Hani frowned at the cold invisible wind. Why did he have to do that to her? Why couldn't he just be happy for her? Yixing was her first boyfriend.

Her feet halted to a stop and she looked around, wondering where she was. She saw a set of swings from her peripheral view and immediately knew she was at the park near their university, her favourite hangout place. She sat on the swings and placed the box on her lap. The sun had risen and she welcomed the warmth with open arms. What was she going to do? She wanted Yixing back but Luhan’s grip on her heart had tightened once again and she was terrified. Say she decided to give Luhan a chance, what if they break up then? Would they still remain as best friends?

“I knew you’d be here.”

His soft voice startled her, and Hani subconsciously her dry lips. “Luhan.”

He came into her line of view and Hani’s heart jumped to . She was reminded once again of how beautiful and handsome he was. Should she give him a chance?

Luhan smiled at her and pointed at the box. “What’s that?”

Hani looked at the box and contemplated on giving it to him. Should she finally let him know what she really felt for him? Maybe he already knew. Hani frowned again. Wasn’t he around yesterday when Hana was talking to her about the contents of the box?

Luhan laughed and sat in the swings next to her. “What are you frowning about? I was just asking. You didn't have to show it to me.”

"Luhan, do you remember I told you that I wrote a lot when you weren't around?" She asked slowly, her eyes looking at everything else but him.

"When you were alone." Luhan said quietly. "Yeah I remember."

This was it. Hani took in a shaky breath and with trembling hands, passed the box to him. She decided to give him a chance. There was no fear of rejection this time because he was the one who confessed first but still, it was nerve wrecking. She wasn't sure what he would make of her letters. She couldn't even remember what she wrote.

Luhan took the box, slightly surprised that she had given it to him so willingly. This was the box that had haunted his sleep last night. He knew they were letters but when he read one of them, he wasn't expecting such sweet words of love and confession. Really, this was how she felt for him all these years? And oh my God, how stupid was he to not have noticed it at all?

"Oh Hani..." Luhan breathed softly. He knelt in front of her and forced her to look at him. "Why didn't you ever tell me?"

Hani bit her lower lip and shook her head. "You would have rejected me. You only see me as your best friend."

Luhan pulled her up to her feet and wrapped his arms around her. "Would best friends do this," he placed a quick sweet kiss on her lips, warming her up from the inside before continuing. "With each other?"

"...no..."

"Exactly. Ok, I admit. Maybe it took Yixing's arrival for me to finally realise that I feel something for you. But have you ever thought that maybe I've loved you all my life too? I just never noticed it because you were always by my side. I thought you would always be by my side forever. I didn't think I should reiterate that point to you. I assumed it was understood."

Hani raised her eyebrow at him. "You assumed?"

"I know. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have thought that way. But I'm a guy Hani. And guys do stupid things sometimes."

"All the time."

"Yes, all the time." Luhan said, quickly correcting himself. "Please forgive me and give us a chance?"

Hani looked at him, the ghost of a smile on her lips. Maybe she should give him a chance. He had the cutest apology face she had ever seen. "I'll think about it." She said, sticking her tongue out at him.

"Hani! That's not fair!" Luhan exclaimed. "If I kiss you now, will you think faster?"

Hani giggled and slowly started walking away. "Maybe. But you're gonna have to catch me first!"

Luhan smiled to himself as she ran off, her laughter echoing in his ears. He promised himself he'd make her happy from now on. And he was defintely going to be the best boyfriend she ever had.

Chapter Posted on: Jul 5. 2015

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