It was around one in the morning when I arrived home. I was so tired and I could feel the jet lag take into affect, but that didn’t stop me from walking towards Jessica’s door.

I battled with my inner self on whether I should knock on her door or not. I mean it’s one in the morning and here I am standing right outside her door still with my luggage. I actually missed her a lot and when I saw the video she sent me, it made me miss her even more. I took in a deep breath to calm myself and then knocked on the door. I felt butterflies form in the pit of my stomach as I waited and waited.

Maybe she really is asleep?

I looked at my door and then back at hers.

Okay… maybe just one more knock and if she doesn’t open then I’ll just see her in the morning.

So I knocked again except this time it was a bit louder and I waited, but the door didn’t open. I let out a sigh.

Who am I kidding? She’s in deep sleep, so why the hell would she open the door this late at night.

Just as I was about to walk away, the door opened and there she stood. It's like time itself froze and I couldn’t utter a word. I could tell that she was surprised seeing me standing right in front of her… right outside her door.

I mean why wouldn’t she? I practically went missing for like a week without telling anyone. Well, not anyone, but you know what I mean.

I finally found my voice and I let out a weak smile from being so damn nervous, “Hey Jessica.” Jessica stepped forward and cupped my jaw with her two warm hands without uttering a word. I could see that she was still finding it hard to believe that I was actually here. I felt as she traced her thumb across my cheekbones down to my lips. I looked at her and she looked back.

She’s still as beautiful as ever even though she looked a bit restless.

I let out a smile, “Sorry if I made you worry about me.” I felt Jessica bring me into an embrace as she hugged my neck, “Amber?” I heard her muffle into my neck and I wrapped my arms around her small waist. “That’s my name.” I felt her loosen her grip on me and she pulled back. The next thing I felt was a stinging pain on my left shoulder.

“Yah Stupid! Do you know how worried I was when I found out you were gone?” I looked at Jessica and I saw tears forming on the corners of her eyes, “You don’t do that Amber. You don’t try to kiss me one day and then go missing for like a whole ing week! I looked for your and no one seemed to know where the you were! It was as if you literally disappeared from the face of the earth and I- I thought…” I pulled Jessica in for a hug when I saw her tears spilling. I didn’t want to witness her cry because it hurt me when she did, “I’m sorry.” Those were the only two words I could mutter as I held her in my embrace and she kept sobbing on my shoulder.

I’m such an idiot.

I felt another punch make contact with my shoulder and I bit my bottom lip to stop myself from letting out another groan, “You ing idiot. Don’t you dare leave like that ever again and make me worry about you like that. Understood?” I nodded as I heard Jessica’s muffled crying.

I hugged her there for quite awhile as I waited for her to calm down, “Don’t leave me like that again stupid.” I felt Jessica’s warm breath make contact with my neck, “I promise.” Jessica pulled back a bit and looked me in the eyes. Her eyes had a hint of red from all the crying she had just done and I could still see those visible dark circles from the tiredness she must have experienced. I brought one hand up and wiped away any visible tear, “I really am sorry Jessica. I didn’t mean to make you worry like that.” Jessica hugged me once more and I heard her muffled into my jacket, “Stupid.” I chuckled a bit and hugged her again. We stayed like that for quite awhile and I felt Jessica play with my hair as she hugged me, “You cut your hair.” I let out a soft chuckle at the memory of the girls constantly begging me to get a haircut, “Uh yeah, I was do for one.” I felt Jessica run her hand through my hair, “I like it.” I hate to admit it, but “Me too.” I’m never telling the girls that though.

“Where were you?” I heard Jessica’s muffled voice and I looked at her hand that was pointing to my bag. I let go of Jessica and she pulled back, “Let’s go inside first. You’ll catch a cold if you stay out here.” Jessica nodded and intertwined our hands as we walked inside her apartment. I knew she would want an explanation. I don’t know if I’m ready to open up to her like this, but I’m willing to give it a try.

I set my luggage down, and I sat down on the couch, “Do you want some coffee?” I heard Jessica and I shook my head, “If I drink coffee now then I won’t be able to sleep later on.” I patted on the seat next to me and Jessica sat down, “The answer to your question… Well, I was in New Jersey.” I saw Jessica’s surprised face from the corner of my eye, “ I uh… well I…” I let out a sigh.

I felt Jessica hold my hand in hers and she gave a small squeeze. I looked at her and she let out a small smile, “You don’t have to tell me if you’re not comfortable.” I smiled back and shook my head, “No, I want to tell you. It’s just… I don’t know how to approach it since I usually don’t talk about it.” I saw Jessica’s gaze soften, “Is this about your ex Ailee?” I nodded and let out a sigh, “I went to go visit her after so long.  I was due for a visit since the last time I actually visited her was the day of her burial.” I looked down onto our intertwined hands, “ I talked to her and I kind of just let everything out that I had been coping up with all this time.” I looked at Jessica and I knew she was giving me her full attention, “I get nightmares every night and the night after I left this apartment, I had a nightmare that scared me beyond belief.” I broke my eye contact with her eyes and I looked back down onto our hands, “Usually when I have nightmares, they always just have her, but not that time. That time you were in her place. “ I paused for a minute before I began to speak again, “Jessica, I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if something were ever to happen to you the same way it happened to Ailee.” I felt Jessica let go of my hand and just when I thought she was about to leave me, she pulled me into a hug and I hugged back.

“I’m scared of losing you too.” I mumbled into her shoulder and she gave a little squeeze of reassurance.  We stayed like that for a while until Jessica pulled back and cupped my jaw with her two hands, “Amber.” I looked into her eyes even though I didn’t want to, “ Look, I know I can’t promise you that I’ll stay with you forever, but what I can promise you is that I’ll try to be with you for as long as it’s possible for me to do so…” I felt Jessica draw small circles on my skin, “I don’t know what happened with Ailee, but I can reassure you that the same scene won’t happen again. I have too much to live for, and I’m not willing to let go of my life without a battle.” I don’t know why, but hearing those words come out of Jessica’s mouth made me feel at ease. I could tell that she was sincere with the choice of her words because her eyes said it all and I let out a smile, “Thanks Jessica.” I pulled her into a hug and I heard her let out a smile and whisper into my ear, “You're welcome stupid.” She’s perfect… even though she has some flaws of her own.

Jessica stayed in my embrace, and we lied down on the couch appreciating each other’s warmth. I felt Jessica take a hold of my hand and she put her palm against mine just like Tarzan did with Jane in the movie Tarzan. “Amber?” I heard Jessica’s voice and I let out a hum in response, “Do you- do you think you’ll ever move on from Ailee?” I opened my eyes and looked down onto Jessica crown. Jessica was still staring at our hands, “ Yeah I do... I actually already have someone in mind.” Jessica looked up and she met my gaze, “Who?” I smiled, intertwined our fingers, and bent down a little to let our lips meet. I’m not going to say it was the most romantic and passionate kiss there is out there because it's not, but that one single kiss meant the whole world to me when I felt Jessica respond back to my kiss. “Who else?” I said once we pulled away from each other and Jessica let out the most beautiful smile I had ever seen.

I tugged a loose strand of her hair behind her ear and pecked her, “I really like you Jessica. I like you a lot and to tell you the truth, I was scared at first because I never thought I would be able to love someone like I did with Ailee, but you made it possible. I don’t know how you did it and I don’t care how you did. I’m just glad that you did.” Jessica let out another smile and she pulled me in for a kiss, “Then I guess the feeling is mutual… Who would of thought that a certain llama faced idiot would steal my heart before Yuri ever could.” Did she just? “Yes dork. I liked you way before Yuri even made a move on me.” Jessica had poked my nose and I let out smile, “ And when did that happen?”

I felt Jessica move a bit so that she could get a bit more comfortable, “Would you believe me if I said the first time we met.” I smirked, “You mean when the boss introduced us and you totally checked me out while I was doing my presentation.” I saw Jessica’s shocked eyes for a second before she could recompose herself, “I don’t remember doing such a thing. I think you’re hallucinating.” I let out an amused laugh, “Oh please don’t try to play all innocent with me. I saw you. And if I remember correctly, we had this conversation before, and you little Ms. ‘I think you're hallucinating’ were blushing.” Jessica guiltily smiled, “Okay fine I checked you out, but it’s not like you didn’t check me out back in the office.” I laughed, “So you admit that you checked me out before I ever checked you out. Wow, I never knew were like this Jessica.” I felt a stinging pain come from my abdomen, “Yah! Don’t make me sound like I’m some type of ert or something.” The slap to the stomach only made laugh even harder, “ What? I didn’t say that. You did.” I felt Jessica try to get up, but I pulled her back into my embrace, “I’m just kidding. I’m just kidding princess. You're not a ert.” That had managed to calm Jessica down a bit, but it wasn’t until I opened my mouth again, “You’re a e.” I felt another stinging pain on my shoulder and I let out a soft chuckle, “Ugh you're such an Amber.”

“Correction. A llama. I’m a llama not a donkey.” I felt Jessica’s glare on me, “You know you're just digging your hole even deeper than it already is.” I grinned, “Okay. Okay. Fine. I’ll stop.” I pretended to zip my lips and throw away the key. “Amber?” I let out a hum in response, “What did you call me?”