What Happened to My Jongie?
My Perfect Stranger
I've never driven so fast in my entire life. It was like a scene out of a movie. I ran lights and dodged traffic like bullets leaving a gun. Though I like to be safe, I just couldn't let Jonghyun get there before me.
I let out a sigh of relief as I arrived home. I didn't see Jonghyun's car so I ran up to my apartment. Once I got in, I hurriedly slammed the door and panted heavily. I was winded and out of breath from rushing home.
After about five minutes, I heard my doorbell ring frantically. I smiled as I only imagined that could be my little boys.
When I opened the door, I crouched down and they instantly ran into my arms.
"Umma!"
"Hey, babies! Welcome back! Did you have fun with appa?"
"Neh!," they said in unison.
"Well, go upstairs and get changed. I'll be up there in a few and you can tell me all about it. Ok?"
They nodded and ran upstairs as they said, "Bye, appa!"
Jonghyun shouted back, "Bye, kids!"
Eery silence fell upon me and Jonghyun as he closed the front door behind him.
"Thanks for bringing the boys over safely. You can leave now."
I walked past him to open the door, but he stopped me. "Wait."
I smacked my lips before turning around. "What now? Aren't you supposed to be on your way to the airport?"
His eyebrows scrunched in confusion. "You.....smell different."
Huh? "What? Jonghyun, now's not the time for you silly games-"
"I know how you smell. You smell like spices, roses, sweet bakeries. Now, you smell like the outside-"
"That's because I've been outside. I have a garden-"
"Not only that. You smell like......cologne. Masculine cologne." I stared silently as Jonghyun walked slowly towards me. He stopped just in inches from me before asking, "What exactly did you do today?"
I whispered. "That's none of your business, Jonghyun. I have a life of my own that doesn't revolve around you."
"Who was it?"
"What are you talking about?"
He let out a breath of irritation. "Dammit, Key! Don't play dumb with me!"
I was taken aback at how aggressive he was being. I knew showing fear would do nothing, but bring me down. I had to stay strong. "Look," I said as I pushed him away from me, "whatever I do on my own time is my own damn business. Just because you're the father of my children, doesn't mean you're my dad as well. I don't owe anything to you, but our children."
He let out a chuckle that kind of creeped me out. "You think you can run away from me? You think you can just leave me for another man? You think you can just catch feelings for another man without me getting involved. Heh. Let's not forget who was you first love, your first everything!" He got angrier and angrier as me spoke. "I'm not going to let some random guy waltz into our lives!"
"Jonghyun-"
" And if you think imma let that be around my children, you've got another thing coming. Now tell me, who is he?!"
"There is no guy, Jonghyun."
He punched the wall right next to me and it shook me up for a bit. He was really close to hitting me.
"Stop with the lies! You're mine, Bummie. MINE! I'm not going to let anyone destroy the empire we've built! Trust me, I'll find out who he is sooner or later. And when I do, I will make his life a living hell? Believe that!"
My heart pounded as I felt angry tears well up in my eyes. I beat on him as I said, "GET OUT! JUST GET OUT! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" There was so much anger and rage. I hated when Jonghyun pushed me to this level.
He held onto my arms tightly to stop my hits. "Why?! Huh?! So you can invite him over?! So you can show him love instead of me?! Bull!"
A few tears streamed down my face as I looked down and whispered, "Let me go, Jonghyun. Just leave."
He violently let me go before stomping to the front door and slamming it shut. All that could be heard was my sobbing.
I curled up into a ball and silently cried to myself. It really hurt me to see Jonghyun act like that. He used to be so sweet to me and sensitive to my feelings. Now, he only cares about me if no one else is involved.
What makes me so frustrated is the fact that I still love him. When he's nice to me, it makes me love him like the way I used to because he's so genuine and caring. But when he gets crazy, it makes me want to hate him so badly.
I cried harder as I remembered those loving times. Whatever happened to my Jongie?
As I cried, I heard tiny footsteps before feeling two pairs of arms hugging my sides. It was my precious boys, of course.
"Don't feel sad,umma," said Jongin.
"Please stop crying, umma," said Taemin. "You're going to make me cry."
I looked up with tears in my eyes before smiling sadly. "Umma's not crying."
Taemin answered, "It's not good to tell lies, umma."
I chuckled before sniffing. "I'll be ok, babies." I kissed both of their cheeks.
"Umma?" Jongin got our attention. "If you like someone that's not appa, it's ok with us."
Taemin nodded, "Yeah. We want you to me happy."
"Where are you guys getting this from?"
Taemin answered. "We heard some of your conversation. I know you said it's not good to eavesdrop, but we were worried. Appa, looked really mad and like he would hit you."
Jongin added, "I'm scared of appa now."
I sighed before pulling the boys in to sit on my lap. "Listen, don't be afraid of your appa, ok? He's a really good appa to you and he loves you. I don't ever want to hear you guys say that about him. Understand?"
They both nodded slowly. "Do you hate appa?" Jongin asked.
"I could never hate your appa. You know why?" They both shook their head. "It's because he gave me such beautiful children. He gave me two little angels I wouldn't dream of sending back."
They smiled widely. Taemin asked, "Are we ever going to meet the guy that you like?"
I sighed. "I don't know. I don't want him to meet you guys too early. I mean, we just met each other."
I was kind of shy talking about my love life with my boys. It felt weird. But they were very curious so I decided to answer their questions honestly.
They begged, "Can you tell us about him, umma? Please, please, please!"
I laughed. "Ok, let's go upstairs."
"Can we go to your room," Taemin asked.
"Yeah. Let's go to my room."
They hopped up excitedly and went upstairs to my room. It's amazing to me how quickly my whole attitude can change just because of them.
When we got to my room, we hopped onto my bed.
"So what would you like to know?"
"Is he cute," Taemin asked.
I chuckled. "Yes. He's really cute."
"Does he have any children we can play with," Jongin asked.
"No. He doesn't have children."
"Really? Does he know about us?"
"Yes. He just found out today."
Taemin asked, "And he was ok with it?"
"Yeah. He already knew before I told him. He said he wants to meet you one day."
They both piped up with excitement. "Can we meet him?! Please, umma! I want to meet him!"
"Calm down, babies. It's still too early. You'll be able to see him, I promise." I also wanted to use this time to see what was going on in my boys' lives. "So, Taemin. You're going to middle school soon. Are you excited?"
He shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know. I guess I'll miss being at the same school as Jongin."
"Awww." I didn't think about that. "Well, since we were talking about relationships, have the two of you been interested in anyone lately?"
Jongin answered first. "No. I don't have any feelings for anyone now."
"What about you, Taemin?"
"Nope. No one interests me."
"Well, I know this is personal, but have you two discovered whether you like girls or boys yet?"
They both shook their heads before Taemin answered. "I don't feel anything at all for both of them? Is that bad, umma?!"
"No, no! That's actually good, at least for me. I don't want you guys dating until you're 30."
They burst out laughing. Jongin said, "Umma, that's too long."
I chuckled as I answered, "I know, baby. I'm just not ready for you two to grow up yet. Pretty soon, you'll stop caring about me and leave me to whither in loneliness," I exaggerated by whimpering playfully.
"No we won't," Jongin proclaimed.
"That's what you say now, but when those teenage years come around, I won't know what to do. That's when we'll need to have a serious talk."
Taemin asked, "A serious talk about what?"
I sighed. "You'll understand when you're older. Anyway, how are you two doing in school."
Taemin spoke, "I'm on honor roll! All of the teachers love me!"
"That's great sweetie. What about you, Jongin?"
Taemin snickered as Jongin struggled to come up with an answer. "Um...well, I'm not failing all of my classes."
"That's not what I wanted to hear, Jongin."
He whined, "Umma, I try really hard. Like really hard, but it's just math that I can't seem to master."
"Have you asked your brother for help?"
"Yes, but he laughs at me."
I looked at Taemin. "Is this true?"
He looked down. "Yes, umma."
I sighed. "You guys are brothers. You should stick together and help each other out."
Taemin answered, "I try to, umma, but it's hard to help with with something as easy as 4th grade math."
Jongin answered, "Just because it's easy to you doesn't mean it's easy for me."
"Boys," I interrupted, "stop arguing in front of me. Jongin, I want you to pull your grades up, or else I'll have no choice, but to take you out of dance class-"
"BUT-"
"Understand?"
He sighed as he looked down. "Yes, umma."
"As for you," I glanced at Taemin, "I don't want you making fun of your brother anymore. You will help him out and not insult him unless you want to be grounded, young man. Understand?"
He pouted. "Yes, umma."
"Now, get ready for bed, you two. Your break's over. School is tomorrow."
They both groaned and complained, but still moved. They gave me a kiss on both cheeks before leaving.
After they closed my door, I laid down flat on my pillow as I stared at the ceiling. I thought about when times used to be simpler for me.
Flashback.
10 years ago.
Valentine's Day.
"Can I just see it now? You know I hate surprises." I said as Jongin guided me with his hands covering my eyes.
When we left school, he drove me to my house and said there would be a surprise waiting for me. Of course, Jonghyun being the hopeless romantic, he wanted everything to stay a secret. It was quite hard walking upstairs without my eyesight. However, Jonghyun wasn't hearing any of it.
"We're almost there Bummie. Just a couple of more steps." I heard a door creak open before he removed his hands from my eyes. "Voila!"
My mouth instantly dropped at the view. I was pleasantly surprised to see the guest room romantically decorated. The sight was beautiful and breathtaking.
I looked at Jonghyun. "You did all of this?" He nodded and I hugged him gratefully. "Thanks, Jongie. It must've taken hours. How were you able to get this past my dad?"
He pulled away to look at my face as he chuckled. "It was no easy task. Your dad's one tough cookie. It took some convincing, but when he said yes, I was here in an instant setting up. That's why I had to leave during lunch at school."
I nodded. "It looks gorgeous." I wrapped my arms around his neck. "What did I do to ever deserve someone as perfect as you?"
He smirked. "I often as myself the same thing." He leaned in and kiss me.
I stopped after a few seconds. "What about my parents?"
"You see, that's why it was hard convincing your dad about this. I had to convince him to leave us alone for the rest of the night."
"And he agreed?"
"Well, maybe I had to bribe him with reservations to the Shrine Suite."
"The Shrine Suite? That's like two towns over."
"Exactly. That means we have the house to ourselves."
I smirked. "You're so sneaky."
"I learn from the best."
"Hmm, and who could that be?"
"How about you try to remind me?"
I whispered, "Gladly."
Our lips connected and things got carried away, as they always did. The aroma from the candles and roses did nothing, but .
That night, Jonghyun made love to me in more ways than I knew were possible.
Flashback end.
I groaned into my pillow as that memory remained in my head. My heart ached. It really saddened me because I knew if things never went wrong with me and Jonghyun, we'd still be together. If he never went crazy, we'd still be together.
It frustrates me because I know Jonghyun is a good man. He could make any man or woman happy like he made me. I just wish he would get some help. He deserves to be loved, just not with me. Our love is very unhealthy and I don't think it can ever be the same.
My thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of my phone. I glanced at it to see it was Minho. I smiled as I answered the phone.
"Hey, Minho."
"Must I always call first," he playfully scolded.
"I'm sorry. I just have a lot going on."
"Did you get home ok?"
"Yeah."
"Are you ok? You don't sound too well. What happened?"
I sighed. "It's just my ex. We got in this big argument. I really hate that my kids had to see it."
"They saw?"
"Yeah, only a portion. I felt so embarrassed."
"What did they say?"
"They want to meet you."
"Huh?! That was fast."
"You see, they heard us arguing over whether I could date. Jonghyun smelled your cologne on me and flipped out."
"Oh....... I'm sorry about that."
"Don't be. I'm kind of glad it happened so he can know that my life doesn't depend on him. Plus, your cologne smelled really good."
He chuckled. "Nice to know I can help out. So your kids......when can we meet?"
"Minho, I think it's too early for that. I'm just glad that they don't have ill feelings towards you."
"You raised them right."
I grinned. "I guess so."
"When's the next time I can see you again? I would like to kiss you."
I chuckled. "You really are younger than me. I can feel your hormones raging."
He laughed. "No, that's not it. I'm only three months younger than you anyway. I just really like talking to you and spending time with you. Plus, our second date didn't really go as planned."
"Hmmm. Well, what would you like to do?"
"We can just hang out. Maybe go to the movies or the park or something."
I smiled to myself. "I like the sound of that." Then Jonghyun popped in my thoughts and I instantly frowned. "We'll have to be careful of Jonghyun. When I say he's crazy, I mean it. I don't want him to mess with you."
"Don't worry about that, Key. I can handle myself. I just want you to be happy, ok? Can you do that for me?"
I sighed. "Yes, I can. Well, I have to go now. I have to take the kids to school in the morning."
"Ok. I don't want to hold you up. Goodnight."
"Goodnight, Minho."
I laid my phone down on my night stand and cut off my lamp. As I thought about Minho, my sad thoughts were replaced with happy ones. Maybe he's what I need to escape my hectic life.
"Please be different, Minho," I whispered before I doze off.
Woo! I snuck in an update. I feel proud. I have way too much going on right now, but I didn't wamt to leave you all high and dry. Please tell me how you feel about the update ^.~
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