A Final Goodbye
My Perfect Stranger
The morning seemed to go slower than usual as me and the boys got ready for what might be an emotional roller coaster. Today's the day we say our goodbyes to Jonghyun.
It feels like a never ending chapter in my life is finally closing. Everything was so surreal. I've waited years for an answer to my problem with Jonghyun. Now that the answer's finally here, I'm not sure how to handle it.
Either way, I needed to keep my emotions together. One little thing can set my boys off like dominoes and I don't want them to worry about me. I want this time to be perfect for them as they spend their last day with their dad.
My lawyer called earlier in the morning to explain where to go and what time to be there. He said our meeting with Jonghyun will be brief since he has to leave early to make it out of town. But I'll try to squeeze in as much time as possible. My kids deserved at least that much.
"Boys, are you done?" I called from the kitchen as they finished up their breakfast in the dining room.
"Neh," I heard as I headed in there after drying my hands.
"Umma," Jonghyun said as I took his plate, "why are we up so early to see Appa?"
I crouched down to his level. "Because your appa has a busy day today and he wants his day to start out with you two." I kissed the top of his head then took Taemin's plate as well.
After I put the plates in the sink, I headed back into the dining room.
"Let's go, boys." They nodded then hopped down from their seats.
We were both out the door and took the elevator to the garage. The boys settled in the backseat of the car as I took the front. When I pulled out of the garage, I was surprised to see so many paparazzi again. They calmed down for awhile, but I guess they heard the news of Jonghyun's departure.
"Umma, why are there so many people," asked Taemin. "The flash from their cameras is hurting my eyes."
"Close your eyes, baby. We'll be out of here soon."
It took a moment to get down the street since I was blocked in by so many people. Within a couple of minutes of slowly inching my way through, I was finally out heading towards the highway.
"Can I open my eyes now?"
I chuckled. "Yes, Taeminnie."
It was a twenty minute drive to my lawyer's building. He told me to drive around the back so I wouldn't get bombarded by paparazzi again. It worked because no one was back there except for security guards.
"Appa's inside of here?" Asked Jongin.
"Yes, honey. He'll be happy to see you."
We all got out of the car and I held both of their hands as we walked into the building. I went to the room my lawyer was in first so he can give me information I need.
"Kibum! Nice to see you again." His eyes traveled to my boys. "And you two must be his lovely kids. You're so adorable."
Taemin spoke. "Thank you! Though I'm more adorable than Jongin."
"Hey~," Jongin whined.
My lawyer laughed and I couldn't help but chuckle at how cute they were being.
"Well feel free to help yourselves to some snacks in the corner as I talk to your umma."
They both ran excitedly to the corner to receive their snacks as I sat down across from my lawyer.
"What great kids," he complimented.
"Thank you. I usually don't let them eat snacks in the morning, so I'm pretty sure you just became their best friend."
He chuckled then got serious. "About Jonghyun, he's here now in another room located in the building. Just like last time, it'll be privately closed off. There will not be any cameras or recording devices in place. It'll just be you guys and your kids in the room. We picked the large play room upstairs that views the city so it wouldn't seem so intimidating to your kids. Do you have any questions?"
"Yes. Um, how long will we have to be with him?"
He sighed. "At the max, 15 minutes."
I raised my brows. "What?"
"I know it may not be long enough, but it was the best we could do. Jonghyun has to be on the road by 10."
I nodded. "I understand. Thank you so much for all of your help."
"No problem. I wish the best of luck to you."
"Thanks. Come on, boys," I called over my shoulder.
They ran up to me with chips and candy stuffed under their arms. They went a little overboard on the snacks but I couldn't help but laugh.
"Thank you, sir, for the snacks," they both thanked him.
"No problem. Put your snacks in here." He handed each of them a bag. "Have a nice day!"
We all waved goodbye to him and exited the office. We got in the elevator and headed to the top floor. As it got closer to the top, my heart rate increased. This was it. It was time to face the music.
The elevator dinged and the doors opened, revealing a hallway full of security guards. They guided us to a closed door where Jonghyun was in. I took a deep breath before opening the door and closing it behind us. I turned around to see Jonghyun standing nervously in the middle of the room.
"APPA!" Jongin and Taemin ran to him at top speed.
Jonghyun crouched down with the biggest smile on his face and hugged them. The scene brought a smile to my face. I slowly walked up to them and crouched down as well.
Tears pooled in Jonghyun's eyes as he whispered. "I missed you two so much."
Jongin answered excitedly. "We missed you too, Appa!"
Jonghyun pulled away to look both of them in the face. Jongin beamed at Jonghyun. Then I looked at Taemin with surprise because he was crying.
I hugged him as I said. "Aww, you're crying? Baby, what's wrong?"
He pulled away from my hug and turned to hug Jonghyun again. "I'm happy to see Appa."
That really tugged at my heartstrings. Though both of them love us equally, Taemin's always been a bit more attached to Jonghyun than Jongin has been.
Me and Jonghyun smiled at each other as he hugged Taemin. It was a moment that would always stick with me.
Jonghyun whispered. "Stop crying, buddy. You're going to make me cry."
Taemin sniff. "These are happy tears."
We both chuckled at that and Jonghyun pulled away from the hug, wiping Taemin's eyes.
Jongin teased. "He's such a crybaby. See, Appa, I'm tough." He demonstrated by showing his nonexistent biceps.
Jonghyun chuckled and raised his brows. "Oh, really now?" He nodded happily and Jonghyun ruffled his hair. "That's my boy."
Taemin sniffed. "I'm tough too!"
Jonghyun smiled dotingly. "Yes, you are. How about you two go over there and play while I talk to your Umma really quick. I'll join you in a sec."
"Ok!" They both raced off to somewhere in the room.
Me and Jonghyun stood up and sat on a bench next to the window. It was silent for a few seconds before Jonghyun spoke first.
"You look good. I never thought I would see you with dark hair."
I smiled slightly. "Thanks. When I was with you, I guess blonde was my thing."
He chuckled. "Yeah. You were blonde for a long time. But really, any hair color suits you."
"Well, thanks Jonghyun." Then there was a pause. "How have you been holding up?"
He sighed. "To be honest, things have been hard. Being away from my kids this long has been so miserable. I have no idea how I'm gonna survive being away from them while in jail. I love them too much to simply be ok with it. But I guess it's just something I'll have to get over."
"How long did they give you?"
"Well, they didn't pick a certain number yet, but they're looking at giving me some years. Maybe 2 or 3."
My eyes widened. "Three years?!"
"My team is trying their best to get it down to the lowest number possible. They said if things go right, they can give me one year and a half. But honestly, I deserve to rot for what I've put you through."
"Jonghyun, don't be so hard on yourself."
He shook his head. "But it's true. I treated you like a possession more than a person. I was so caught up in loving you that I didn't know I was hurting you. If I could go back in time and change that, I would. But, I guess things happen for a reason. I just hate that the boys will be affected in the process."
That's something we both agreed on. Any decision being made would affect the boys.
"Do you think the judge would lower your sentencing if he knew about the boys?"
"That's something my people are looking in to. But either way, I will need to serve my time. I need to better myself. I feel like if I don't go, I won't learn my lesson."
I nodded. "You're absolutely right. I just don't like the thought of you being in a place like that. If they could have just sent you to a place where you would be by yourself, then I would be more content."
"You're worried about me aren't you?"
I sighed. "I just want you to be safe. I hear so many stories about jail, it scares me that you're going there."
He smiled slightly. "Key, I'm a man. I'll be fine. And if I have to fight everyday, then I will. You know why?" I shook my head. "Because it's my fault for being there in the first place. I deserve everything that's going to get handed to me. But let's look at the positive side. We should use this as an example to our kids to not do anything that would lead them to jail. This should teach them about the rights and wrongs of life. And I want you to worry about me."
"Jonghyun, you know that's not easy for me."
"You're too nice. It's a flaw, but it's also something I love about you. I don't know if I would've been able to forgive someone as many times as you've forgiven me." He let out a chuckle. "It just shows how much heart you have and how stupid I was to take that for granted."
I sighed. "I don't know why I easily forgive you sometimes, you know? At times, you were the sweetest guy around. You treated me like I was the only person in your life. Then at other times, you were the biggest I knew. But, I always forgave you."
"And I will always be grateful for that. I'm grateful to you for more than what can be accounted for. The fact that you gave me two beautiful kids is enough for me to forever be indebted to you. After all of these years of hurt and happiness," he took my hands in his, "I sincerely want to say thank you. Thank you for giving me a reason to live. I live for you and I live for our children. Everyday, I wake up feeling like the luckiest man alive, though I've ed up things. But now I'm paying the price for it."
"Jonghyun-"
"I know you've moved on, and I'm truly happy for you. Minho..... I'll always be envious of the fact that he has you now. I let you get away, but no ones to blame but me. I just hope that he continues to treat you and the kids right. If I could trade places with anyone right now, it would be him. I'll never be completely ok with the fact that he's with you instead of me, but I respect the fact that he's taking care of you and the kids. It takes a real man to do that, and I give him his props."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Is this the same Jonghyun? Wow. He's really grown. A few months ago, he would've never been able to say something like that. It made me appreciate him more.
He continued. "I hope that after all of this, we can continue things as friends, and I mean it. I won't hit on you or disrespect Minho like that. I just don't want to lose you. So if we have to be friends for that to happen, then I'm willing to accept that."
I smiled and gave him a long hug. "Absolutely. Of course we can be friends. Believe it or not, I don't want you out of my life neither. You have hurt me a lot. But you've also been there for me when I've truly needed you. So I'll always be thankful for that." I pulled away to look at him.
"So you'll visit me?"
"As much as time allows."
"You'll write me?"
"Yes, Jonghyun. I'll write you frequently. You're not someone that's easy to forget."
He chuckled. "Thanks. I'm glad we're on good terms now." I nodded. "Well I guess I should use the rest of the time we have left with our kids."
We both stood up and headed to our kids who were sitting on the floor playing rock, paper, scissors while eating their snacks. Me and Jonghyun sat down next to them.
Jonghyun snickered, "You're eating chips in the morning?"
"Umma's friend downstairs let us have them," said Jongin.
I chuckled. "Yeah~, they overdid it a bit."
"Appa," said Taemin, "let's take a picture! We haven't taken one in a long time."
That was true. It would be a nice thing to look back on. I took out my phone and sat next to Jonghyun. I put Jongin in my lap while Taemin sat in his. I turned my phone sideways to make sure everyone was in.
"Is everyone ready?" They all said yes and I snapped a pic with all of us smiling. "Ok. Now let's make a silly face." Then I snapped another pic.
I showed everyone and the boys were the happiest. It was a cute picture. I needed to get it in a frame so I can put it up in their room.
"Appa," said Jongin, "Umma said you're going to a place where bad people go. Is that true?"
Jonghyun sighed. I can tell this is a convo he was trying to avoid. "Yes, it's true. Appa's done some things he's not proud of. Now I have to pay the price."
Taemin asked, "Things like what?"
"Um, let's just say, I've hurt an important person in my life. It's something I'm not happy about and I never want you guys to do that. You hear me?" They both nodded. "I want you two to stick together ok? I know you're going to fight from time to time because you're brothers, but I never want you guys to do something like I've done and regret it. Never stop loving each other, ok?"
"Neh," they said in unison.
"Also, I want you two to promise me something. Promise me that you'll look out for your umma while I'm gone. You need to protect him and make sure he's ok. You're our children and he's the one who gave birth to you. The least you can do is guard him. Do you two promise to do that?"
They nodded. "We promise, Appa."
"How long will you be gone?" Asked Taemin.
"I'm not sure about that yet."
"Will it be a long time?"
Jonghyun looked down and nodded. "I'm sorry, guys. This is something that I have no control over. This affects you two more than anyone. I don't want you to feel sad, ok?" They nodded. "Be happy that Appa's finally getting the help that he needs."
Taemin sniffed and tears popped in his eyes. "We're going to miss you, Appa." It broke my heart seeing Taemin and Jongin's disappointed faces.
Jonghyun kissed Taemin's head and hugged him. "Don't cry, sport. I'm going to miss you guys too. All of you," he said as he looked at me.
Then there was a knock on the door, signaling that our time was ending.
Jonghyun let go of Taemin and stood up. "It's time for me to go."
Both of the boys whined and ran to Jonghyun's legs, hugging them tightly. I stood up and gave Jonghyun one last hug before prying our boy off of his legs. We walked to the door an opened it, revealing cops waiting with handcuffs.
Jonghyun knelt down and said his final goodbyes to the boys, who were both crying by this point. "Shhh," he pecked both of their cheeks. "Behave for your umma ok?" They both nodded despite their tears. "I love you so much. Appa will be back, ok?"
A cop placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. "It's time to go." I could tell that the scene was saddening to them and the security guards as well.
Jonghyun nodded and looked back at the boys. "I have to go now. Don't forget about me, ok? I'll see you later." Then he stood up. He waved goodbye to all of us before being taken away.
A single tear fell down my cheek. I wiped it away quickly, not wanting to lose my calm in front of my boys.
"Come on," I said as I grabbed both of their hands and head got in the elevator.
They cried and cried the whole way home. I felt so bad for them. It was tough for adults to go through this, but even worse for children. I'm just thankful that they didn't cuff Jonghyun I front of them. I didn't want that being the last image they see of him for awhile.
On the way home, I texted Minho to let him know to come to my apartment when he's done with practice. I really needed to talk to someone. He said he'd ask Jinki to let him out of practice early so he could be here for us.
When I got home, the boys calmed down, but we're still crying silently. Once inside, I guided them to their bedroom.
"Oh, babies," I whispered as I hugged the both of them. "Please stop crying. Everything's going to be ok."
I could tell they were both tired from crying for so long. I tucked them both in Taemin's bed and kissed their heads. It was still a bit early in the morning and I usually don't let them fall back asleep after waking up, but they needed it.
I walked out of their room and slowly shut the door. Then I went to my room and sat on my bed, staring at nothing. It felt so weird knowing that at the moment, Jonghyun was being transported to a jail. I have no idea how he's going to handle it, but he's promised me he'll be ok. I'll hold him to his word.
I decided to fall asleep as well. It's not like I could draw up designs for idols at the moment. I had no inspiration. If I drew something, it would be dull and solemn, exactly how I fell. No one's going to want to wear that.
It's not like I can talk to Nicole about anything. She turned out to be a snake in the grass. She can't be trusted and I never will trust her again.
Minho's stuck in practice at the moment. Even though he wants to come here early, I know he won't be here until the afternoon. Go figure.
Then I remembered Appa gave me Woohyun's number yesterday. It may be under crazy circumstances, but I needed to talk to someone. Though I have trust issues with friends because of what Nicole did, I know for a fact that Woohyun wouldn't do that to me. So I decided to give him a call.
"Hello," he answered.
"Hey, Woo."
"Key?! Is it really you?" He sounded excited. "Sorry, I didn't recognize this number."
"It's my cellphone number. I think your mom gave you my house phone number."
He chuckled. "It's fine. I'll save it. I can't believe it's actually you! It's been forever since we've talked. What's going on?"
I sighed. "What isn't going on?"
"Yeah~, I've seen the news lately. Key, I'm sorry you're going through so much. I didn't even know you had kids, nor that you've dated people as popular as Kim Jonghyun and Choi Minho!"
Though it was meant to be serious, I couldn't help but chuckle at his peaked interest. "Yeah, it's not as extravagant as it seems. Especially when people sell you out."
"Mmm, I heard about what your friend Nicole did. Didn't she go to school with us? I think I remember her but faintly."
"She transferred in 5th grade, but shortly after she came, you left."
"Ah, right. Now I remember. It that she did that to you though. From what I can remember, she was a nice girl."
"I guess we were fooled."
"Well let's talk about something lighter. How are you kids? I've only heard about them in the news."
I smiled slightly. "They're angels. My oldest's name is Taemin. The youngest is Jongin, though Jongin often acts as if he's the oldest. He protects Taemin a lot more than the other way around. Either way, it's cute."
"Aww, were they planned? Or were they one of life's little surprises?"
I groaned. "It's a long story."
"I've got time."
I contemplated on wether I should tell him the story from the beginning. I mean, Minho wouldn't be here for a couple of hour, plus Woohyun's good company. I decided to tell him everything. He was surprised and shocked about most of the things I told him involving Jonghyun. Then I told him about Minho and more about the scandal.
It honestly felt good to have a friend I can confide in again. He told me about him moving to Seoul soon because he got a job as a host on various shows. So we would definitely have more time to hang out.
We talked for hours before I decided to tell him I'd call him later because I was tired. My eyes drifted closed and I slept for I don't know how long. It was much needed.
A few more hours later, I felt a light tap on my shoulder. My eyes fluttered open to the sight of Minho smiling down at me.
"Hey, sleeping beauty. How was your sleep?"
I groaned then turned around, wanting to get some more shuteye.
He chuckled. "Yah, I've been here for two hours, the least you can do is entertain me."
I quirked up an eyebrow and turned back to him. "You've been here for two hours?"
"Yeah. I used the spare key you gave me to open the door. When I got here, Jongin and Taemin were up, but they told me you were still sleep. I decided to let you sleep some more before waking you. We were playing games the whole time before I came in here. So....how did it go?"
I sighed as I sat up next to him. "It honestly was one of the most happiest and saddest moments of my life. I was happy that Jonghyun would finally get the help that he needs and that he got to spend time with the boys. But it was sad because I don't know when the boys will see him again. They were crying and everything. It broke my heart having to witness that."
"Wow. That's horrible. I mean, it's great that you guys could spend time together as a family, but I hate that the boys had to go through that."
"I agree. I just hope that they don't suffer any long time effects like abandonment issues or something."
Minho shook his head. "No way. As long as I'm here, you won't have to worry about anything like that."
Then there was a tiny knock at the door. We both looked to see it was Taemin and Jongin. They both eased their way onto my bed and sat next to us.
I kissed their cheeks. "How are you guys feeling?"
Jongin answered. "We're better now. We still miss Appa though."
I pet his hair. "And that's ok, sweetie. It's ok and its normal to still miss him. I just want you two to be ok."
Taemin added, "We're fine, Umma. As long as we have you and Minho, everything is going to be ok."
I smile and Minho and looked back at the boys. "You mean that?" They both nodded.
"We love Minho,"said Taemin.
I could see the pure joy radiating from Minho. He answered them. "I love you guys, too. More than anything. And I want you to know that I'm here for you. If you ever need anything, don't be afraid to ask."
"Well," said Jongin, "can we have a group hug?" We all burst out laughing and gave a group hug.
Then I decided to attack Taemin and Jongin with kisses. "Ew! Umma!" They both shouted as they giggled and tried to get away.
I laughed as I tackled them both playfully, Minho helping as I kissed them all over their face and neck.
It was then that I realized that life goes on. Yes, it's sad that Jonghyun's gone for awhile and that my boys won't see him, but we've got to continue to look at the bright side of things.
One, I have Minho here to help me. Two, I've got my best friend back. Three, I still have a job that provides for my family. And four, my long battle with Jonghyun is finally over. Life has its difficulties, but the good shall always outweigh the bad.
Life can go nowhere but up from here.
I updated sooner than expected, but hey it happens ^^. Things are finally starting to look up for the Kim family. It's sad that Jong's gone, but great that Key can finally get a fresh start at life without having to worry.
Please tell me your thoughts about this chapter ^.~
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