I had this huge apology and excuse thingie written out in explanation for a lot of things but then I decided to scrap it.

I don’t really have an excuse at this point I just .

WITH CHAPTER FIVE; a small portion has been changed to fit the storyline better (don’t ask what I don’t remember) and Jongdae shrivelling Chanyeol’s ears was deliberate. He shrivelled them as a joke but didn’t mean for Sehun to see them.

And I also I apologise for how ty my typos are

My brain goes too fast for my fingers.

And my writing style is stupidly inconsistent I know

Again I’m sorry I .

~Unicorn

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Pairing(s); Chen chen chen chen chen chen chen chen and some yeol actually maybe everyone I’ve mentioned so far because explanations are needed.

Rating/Notes; PG, more or less an establishing chapter because I’m incompetent

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Meet Kim Jongdae. Sixteen, mastermind of all things. Son to a part-leprechaun father and a crazy, insanely genius mother, Kim Jongdae is the eldest of three brothers, he is the Kim Jong One. Kim Jong Hyun Is number two, and the pair of them inherited their father’s glorious set of genes which include;

1.            A splendid visage of cheekbones which could cut diamonds

2.            An equally splendid jawline which cuts not just diamonds, but hearts

3.            Sick guns

4.            Like really sick guns

Kim Jong In, number three, unfortunately did not inherit these genes. He had to get dad’s brains. Dad’s ordinary, ordinary brains. Kim Jong One and Two had to get the best of both dad and mum and got her ingenuity, meaning that they were practically twins. Apart from the fact that Jonghyun had dad’s leprechaun genes. We don’t really know how it happened, Kim Jong Gran doesn’t like talking about it much.

Anyway the dynamic duo of evil like to pick on their little brother an awful lot. They normally get on fine but unfortunately for being incredibly intelligent, you just have no idea how and where to syphon off all that extra energy. So naturally you turn to pranking your younger brother. Oh how they could reminisce for hours about that one time Jonginnie woke up with his poodle stuck to his head instead of his actual hair. AND their parents were out for the weekend.  To this day Jongin insists he can never see Monggu the same way again (although it doesn’t stop him from unconditionally loving his puppy, it wasn’t Monggu’s fault). Then that was that time Jongdae thought it’d be funny to charm all of Jonghyun’s posters to scream at him. Jonghyun retaliated by flooding Jongdae’s room and the two were at war for a full week before their mum decided to step in by locking them both in the basement and throwing down a stink bomb. Let’s just say Jongin had fun being spectator for a week. One mustn’t think that the Kim Jong Fam hate each other though, oh no. Next door bully Jimmy still flinches when he sees any of them after what Kim Jong One and Two did to him when Jongin came running home with tears in his eyes because Jimmy had snapped his brand new broom in half. Jimmy turned up two days later with a Firesweeper (the newest model) along with a full apology letter and made his mum bake her famous oatmeal cookies in apology.

When Jonghyun was first born, one-year-old-Jongdae had sat inside of the cot with him, poking at the sleeping newborn and observing the fascinating specimen. Not even a year later there were two squishy things in the cot, and by the time he was three Jongdae kept whining to his mother than the babies wouldn’t play with him.

“All they does is sleep and make smell.” He whined.

“That’s what babies do Jongdae, you did it once too.” His mother had explained calmly. So Jongdae resorted to entertaining himself by learning to read while he waited for his brothers to grow up. In hindsight Jongdae sort of wishes that they’d stayed as tiny lumps in a cot, because lumps didn’t constantly try to drop squids on your head at the dinner table or kick at you if you insulted them. But such was the way of life.

At Hogwarts Jongin is less at the receiving end more at the warn-others-about-his-brothers end, seeing as new fresh bait is much more exciting to the Kim Jong Duo than the same one they’ve been using for fourteen years. Which is great for him, so he’s not complaining about anything. Kim Jong Mum runs a small café back near their home town, magic folk only. There she owns a small line of what she likes to call ‘snacking sensations’, aka prank snacks. Pastries, cakes, lollies, you name it, she’s got it and boy do you want to avoid eating it. Of course she needs to test the treats to make sure they work properly but she won’t eat them herself (what if something really bad happens? How are you going to reverse a spell when your tongue is two metres long?) and her husband is wise enough to perform a detection charm on any food given to him, so she resorts to the other option. Sending them to her sons in the weekly package. Kim Jong Dad manages to slip in a letter alongside Mum’s notes of congratulation regarding the mischief they’ve caused that week, warning which foods were safe to eat and which ones they should feed to other unsuspecting students. Like Park Chanyeol, Kim Jongdae’s best friend and kind of an idiot. Always falls for the it even though it’s been five years of weekly food pranks. He’s not the brightest flower in the meadow, see. Chanyeol’s more like that really tall plant that towers over every other flower and looks so weird and wacky that you question whether or not it’s actually a flower. Maybe it’s a particularly strange breed of cactus. Or a very small alien tree. Nevertheless Kim Jongdae decided to sit next to Park Chanyeol on the train when the two boys were eleven, which may have either been the best or worst decision of his life, he’s still debating on a conclusive answer.

Jongdae still vividly remembers getting his letter from Hogwarts. He had been working his way through a large stack of pancakes when a large barn owl had rapped its beak on the kitchen window, holding his very own Hogwarts letter. He had squealed in delight and begged his parents to go shopping for his school supplies that very day. They had relented, making the trip to Diagon Alley with Jongdae and his two jealous brothers, Jonghyun more so since he didn’t know whether his leprechaun blood would prevent him from going to Hogwarts (Kim Jong Dad had been home schooled). Jongdae assured him that if he didn’t get his acceptance letter, he would go up and hex the headmaster until he let Jonghyun in, because Jonghyun was the third most intelligent person on the planet, after their mum and Jongdae himself.

September the first came much more slowly that Jongdae would have hoped, but he finally found himself standing at the platform of Kings Cross, staring up in awe at a scarlet train bearing the words ‘Hogwarts Express’ at the front.

‘I’m really going to Hogwarts, I’m finally going’ He thought as he clutched a bird cage tightly in his arms (his very own owl for sending letters home).

It was only until he had boarded the train and waved goodbye to his family that Jongdae stared down the hallway of the moving train and realised; he had no friends. So he set off to find the first, least intimidating looking compartment he could find and found himself sliding open the door to a boy who had his head down and was fiddling with a cardboard box.

“Excuse me, you do mind if I sit here?”

The boy’s head whipped up to stare at Jongdae, who’s first thought was ‘I’ve made a terrible mistake’. The boy was plump, sporting a mop of violently curly red hair and eyes which looked just about ready to pop out of his head but were being held back by the large, round glasses he wore.

“Sure thing!” He said, breaking into a smile. Jongdae regretted his decision even more, his smile made him look like a total creep, but it was too rude to back out now, so he just murmured a word of thanks and slid the door shut behind him, wondering if he was actually going to make it out of this alive.

“My name’s Park Chanyeol.” The boy said when Jongdae sat down, sticking out a pudgy hand. “First year.”

“Kim Jongdae, first year.” Jongdae replied.

“Oh wow, you too?” Chanyeol positively bounced in his seat. “Aren’t you excited for it? I’m excited, I’m so excited I nearly set the table on fire when I got my letter!” he said in a rush, beaming in that creepy way again.

“How…how did you manage that?” Jongdae asked, half out of politeness, half incredulous curiosity.

“I got over-excited. Ever since I gained my magic I’ve been accidentally setting things on fire.” Chanyeol said cheerfully, but went on hurriedly at Jongdae’s expression. “Oh I’ve got it all under control now, that was the first time I’d slipped in about two years. But still, I was so excited I couldn’t stop myself. I was so so SO excited when I found out I was getting my own wand. Look!” He pulled out his wand with a flourish and held it up in the air like a grand prize.

“Dogwood and Phoenix Feather, 15 ½ inches, stiff.” He lowered it slightly and looked over at Jongdae. “I have no idea what any of it means, but it sounds cool.”

“Dogwood and phoenix feather? Interesting mix.” Jongdae said contemplatively.

“You know about wands?” Chanyeol nearly dropped his wand but leaned in closer, eyes widening to an almost impossible size.

“Well dogwood owners are known to be rather quirky, mischievous and playful. The wands themselves are rather noisy, and-“

“Ohhhh that would explain the honking.”

“The…what?”

“It kept honking whenever I tried to do any magic.”

“That would be because you haven’t won its allegiance yet. Phoenix feathers are picky, you know.”

“Really?” Chanyeol looked positively fascinated by the news. So Jongdae talked. He talked and talked, first about wands woods and then about their cores and even a little on some of the more eccentric wan types found in history. Chanyeol made an exceptionally good audience, reacting dramatically to every new bit of information and asking questions for Jongdae to elaborate on (although some of the questions he asked were either common sense or incredibly stupid.) By the time the sun was setting, Jongdae’s first impression of Chanyeol has dissolved and been replaced by a painstakingly cheerful boy who never seemed to stop smiling and had a passion for ferrets. Chanyeol had talked a little about himself too, going on about his older sister and his favourite ferret (which seemed to be sleeping in the cardboard box).

They changed when it was almost too dark to see outside and the simple change of clothes into their school uniforms seemed to add a thin line of tension and excitement between them. Eventually the train slowed, came to a halt, and the two boys jumped up. Walking side by side to the boats, Jongdae and Chanyeol took a seat together with two other boys.

“Hi!” One of them piped up. “My names Byun Baekhyun!”

“That sounds like Bacon! Can I call you Bacon?” Chanyeol asked, grinning that maniac grin Jongdae was just starting to get used to.

“Sure!” Baekhyun replied, beaming back. As Chanyeol and Baekhyun very quickly warmed up to each other, Jongdae turned to the fourth boy in the boat, who hadn’t spoken at all.

“What’s your name?” Jongdae asked politely.

The boy stayed silent, staring at him with owl-eyes. Jongdae waited for an answer but got none.

“Don’t mind this guy, he doesn’t talk.” Baekhyun chimed in, ruffling the boy’s hair. “This is Do Kyungsoo, going by the name that was on his trunk.”

“Touch my hair again,” Kyungsoo said quietly and calmly, surprising everyone, “and I’ll push you off this boat and feed you to the giant squid.”

A silence followed this statement.

“Can I call you shortie?” Chanyeol asked suddenly. Before Kyungsoo could actually do anything, however, they landed on shore with a small bump

“We’re here!” Baekhyun said loudly, jumping off the boat, quickly followed by Jongdae who thought he would rather lose the only friend he had made so far than die at the hands of the short, owl-eyed demon glaring up at Chanyeol, who was giving Kyungsoo a wide grin back. The four boys said no more as they climbed the stairs with the mass of other students, and as they reached the entrance hall with its huge doors looming over all of them. Jongdae felt slightly nervous and for the first time he thought of the four houses. Which one would he be in? What if he wasn’t with Chanyeol? He wasn’t sure what all the other kids would be like. His thoughts were cut short as a woman opened the doors and stood in front of them all. A hush fell over the excited babble.

“Welcome to Hogwarts.”

Jongdae could feel Chanyeol positively quivering beside him. They listened intently as the professor explained the sorting hat, and the four houses. Finally, finally, the doors opened and the Great Hall was revealed before them.

“Woah.” Chanyeol exclaimed as he stared open-mouthed at the ceiling.

“It’s not a real sky,” Jongdae rattled immediately, “just enchanted to look that way. And that ghost over there?” He pointed to a ghost with a large ruff around his neck. “Nearly-headless Nick.”

“Nearly who-done what-now?” Chanyeol said unintelligently.

“Nearly-headless Nick, who prefers to go under the name of Sir. Nicholas de Mimsey-Porpington. Resident ghost of Gryffindor house.”

“Wha-?” Jongdae looked over to see Chanyeol gaping at the ceiling again.

“Never mind.”

“What house do you think you’ll be in?” Baekhyun asked suddenly, gazing at the house tables.

“Gryffindor, where brave at heart!” Chanyeol said, puffing out his chest and sticking out his arm in mock bravery and almost knocking Kyungsoo in the face. “Or Hufflepuff, where, uhm…kind at heart?” He dropped the long limb that was suspended in mid-air. Kyungsoo wasn’t so fast at dodging this time. “ sorry Soo.”

“Don’t call me that.” Kyungsoo mumbled, rubbing his forehead.

“What about you guys?” Chanyeol asked the rest of their group.

“Mmm, well my brother was a Hufflepuff, so that would be cool.” Baekhyun said contemplatively.

“Ravenclaw, just like my parents!” Piped up Jongdae. Kyungsoo didn’t say anything.

“What house do you want to be in, Soo?” Chanyeol asked, slinging an arm around Kyungsoo’s neck.

“I told you not to call me that.” Kyungsoo said irritably, dodging out from under his arm. The chattering from the students died down as the first years arrived at the front. All eyes were either trained on the huddle of new students or the battered old hat sitting on a wooden stool. With bated breath, Jongdae watched as a seam at the brim of the hat opened wide, and began to sing.

Jongdae watched in awe as the hat sang, and the Great Hall broke into applause as the hat stilled again. He joined in

“Funky hat.” Chanyeol said.

 “Baekhyun, Byun!” The professor that had met them in the entrance hall said in a booming voice, reading off a long list

Baekhyun skipped up to the stool and hopped on with grace, letting the hat slide over his eyes with a smile on his face.

“GRYFFINDOR!”

Beaming, Baekhyun trotted over to the Gryffindor table to sit next a pretty looking boy who introduced himself.

Not too long after, Chanyeol bounced up onto the stool and positively jammed the hat on top of his head, which was actually being held up by his abnormally sized ears.

Jongdae discreetly crossed his fingers behind his back, not exactly knowing what he was hoping for but knowing that Chanyeol was a nice enough boy, and so far the only friend Jongdae had.

 “Slytherin!” The hat boomed. Jongdae noticed Chanyeol’s smile slip slightly off his face as he got up off the school, walking towards the Slytherin table. Jongdae couldn’t quite place it, but he thought Chanyeol looked a little sad.

Jongdae continued to watch with mounting anticipation as the other students were sorted into their respective houses until finally;

“Jongdae, Kim!”

Jongdae walked up with trembling knees and sat on the stool, catching a glimpse of a sea of gazes before the hat slipped over his eyes and all he saw was darkness.

“Interesting head you have here, boy.” Said a voice in his ear. Jongdae jumped. “Very interesting head indeed. Your intelligence would definitely feel at home in Ravenclaw, but-“ Chanyeol’s face seemed to swim in front of Jongdae’s closed eyes, “you are rather cunning. Plenty of potential to be a trouble-maker, no doubt about that. Hmmm, where to put you?”

Jongdae’s heart felt about to burst out of his chest and he took a deep breath to calm his nerves.

 “You possess great knowledge, boy. But you have the cunning of a Slytherin and the loyalty of a Gryffindor too…” The hat whispered in his ear. “I think we should put you in…RAVENCLAW!” The hat boomed out the last word and Jongdae took the hat off his head, pleased with himself but feeling a small sinking feeling in his stomach. He wasn’t in the same house as Chanyeol after all. Nevertheless he walked over to the applauding crowd of blue, taking a seat.

“Hi!” Said a pretty looking girl, stretching out her hand. “My names Luna.”

Jongdae turned his attention back to the sorting hat as Kyungsoo’s name was called. The sorting hat had barely slipping over his eyes when “RAVENCLAW!” was shouted to the hall.

Finally! Someone he knew! Jongdae raised his hand as Kyungsoo walked down the table. The short boy spotted him, looking as though he wanted to walk away, but couldn’t find anywhere else to sit.

“Hey Kyungsoo!” Jongdae said cheerfully.

Kyungsoo said nothing, turning to half-glare at his blank plate, as though already regretting his choice to not find another seat. They sat in silence through the rest of the sorting and Kyungsoo kept deflecting Jongdae’s attempts at a friendly conversation, and by the time he tucked himself into bed in Ravenclaw tower, Jongdae felt that maybe having Kyungsoo in his house wouldn’t be as good as he thought.

The next morning, when Jongdae found out that most of his classes would be with Chanyeol and a month later when Kyungsoo still sat with them and Baekhyun at break and Jongdae had successfully pulled off and gotten away with twelve different pranks (including a spectacular number on Kyungsoo involving seven whoopee cushions and a well-placed tickling jinx), Jongdae thought this wasn’t too bad. In fact, Hogwarts was really quite a wonderful place to be.

==========================================

Park Chanyeol caught his first glimpse of Oh Sehun on the first evening of their second year at Hogwarts, where he was sitting next to Kris and complaining loudly about how the new first years were taking too long (he was hungry, okay?). He decided to entertain himself by trying to balance a fork on Marshal’s head but his favourite ferret just shook his head in irritation and the fork clattered off his head loudly. Chanyeol winced at the clanging sound, glancing up shiftily at the teachers’ table to see if he was going to be told off when-

There he was

An angel.

A boy, small and slender with feathers of blonde hair delicately perched on his head, walking-no- floating up to the sorting hat’s stool. Chanyeol watched, mouth agape and completely oblivious to Marshal’s insistent nips at his fingers for attention. The hat slipped over the eyes of the boy and Chanyeol waited with bated breath

Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleas-

“SLYTHERIN!”

Chanyeol promptly pushed Kris away from him, almost knocking him off the seat.

“Chanyeol what the-“

“Hi there!” He smiled up widely at the boy as he walked over.

“H-hello.” The boy answered in a small voice.

“There’s a spare seat next to me, you can sit here!” He indicated the seat which Kris had just been evicted from.

“Oh thank you.” He sat down and Chanyeol ignored Kris’ incredulous glares of Really? You just pushed me out for a FIRST YEAR?!

“I’m Park Chanyeol!” Chanyeol said brightly instead.

“Oh Sehun.” The boy replied, looking down shyly at his own fingers before turning his attention to the sorting to see Victoria, Song being sorted into Gryffindor.

Finally, finally the sorting ceremony ended and food blossomed out of the golden plates; stacks of chicken drumsticks, a huge mountain of mashed potatoes and piles upon piles of bread rolls.

Chanyeol momentarily forgot angel Sehun at the appearance of food, immediately reaching out to pile his plate full of whatever he could reach. Sehun watched in fascination at all the food that had materialised in front of him, as well as the boy who was now shovelling mashed potatoes into his mouth with admirable enthusiasm.

“Did...Did the food just appear from the air?”

Chanyeol blinked at him, cheeks full of stew.

“Wait,” He swallowed thickly, “You’re a muggle born?”

Sehun nodded, looking back down at his lap as though scared of how Chanyeol might react.

“That’s so cool!” The older boy exclaimed, making Sehun jump. “What’s in like in the muggle world? How do you survive without magic? Is it true that you kill ducks and coat them in rubber to use in your baths?”

Sehun giggled at the last comment.

“We don’t kill ducks, that’s silly.” Sehun started to explain the function of rubber ducks to a fascinated Chanyeol while they ate, the older boy kept interjecting with questions.

“Why does it squeak when real ducks quack? Why don’t the rubber ducks have feathers or legs? Why ducks? Why not otters?”

“Well-“ Sehun cut off when he felt something wet on his finger. Looking down at the table he spotted what looked like a long brown rat with a shorter snout.

“Oh hey he likes you!” Chanyeol picked up the creature and replaced it on his shoulder, where it crawled up to nuzzle against his hair. “This is Marshal, my pet sable ferret.”

“Cute.” Sehun said with a small smile, watching Marshal hop back down to the edge of Chanyeol’s plate and nosed curiously at a carrot.

“Marshal no!” Chanyeol pulled the ferret away from the vegetable and handing it a lump of roast beef instead. “He eats anything in front of him, even things that would kill him.” He shakes his head but stares fondly as he sees his pet tearing off a large chunk of beef with his teeth.

Chanyeol loved Marshal to pieces. Ever since that fateful day on his seventh birthday when his parents had decided to get him a pet, Chanyeol had met eyes with Marshal and it was love at first sight. Chanyeol took his little true love with him everywhere, hiding him in his shirt or bag when teachers disapproved of him bringing his pet into the classroom, taking him on regular walks, letting him eat from the same plate as Chanyeol and even sleeping together sharing the same pillow. He honestly couldn’t help it that ferrets were the most adorable thing on the planet. Except perhaps Oh Sehun, who was spooning stew into his mouth while observing Chanyeol cooing over Marshal.

***

“GRYFFINDOR!”

The words rang in his ears as Kim Jonghyun sat in the grounds next to his brother. It had been a week since his sorting and although Jonghyun was ecstatic to have even received his letter, the sorting arrangement was something that had been nagging at the back of his head ever since the hat had shouted out (what he thought was) the wrong house.

“Who says brave people can’t be smart?” Jongdae said bracingly. “Maybe it just means that you’re more willing to give things a shot than I am.”

He knew that wasn’t true. Jongdae was the one who was always itching to try out new spells while Jonghyun was the one pouring over theory books. The glum look Jonghyun gave Jongdae told him that his brother knew this fact as well.

“Okay, so I’m more of a practical worker. But you’re way braver than I am! What about that time with Jimmy? I was the one hesitating to attack him while you were the one who bowled him over and gave him a black eye! It doesn’t matter if I’m ten times smarter than you are if I’m too wimp to use it when I need to!”

Jonghyun seemed to cheer up a little at that.

=======================================================

Chanyeol thought the sun shone out of Kim Jongdae’s fabulous guns. Well, not really. More like the brilliant rays of knowledge and intelligence. Seriously, the boy was a ing genius.

 “Seriously,” Chanyeol persisted, leaning in with wide eyes, “he can do everything! He could probably unforgivable curse the living out of us if he wanted to!”

“Chanyeol, that sentence makes no sense.” Jongdae said, laughing slightly. Chanyeol was right, of course, but he wasn’t going to say that.

It had been on the day he had bought his brand new wand. Maple and Dragon Heartstring, twelve and a half inches, determinately rigid. He’d waved it around in his backyard, producing small sparkles and lights to the delight (and envy) of his two brothers.

“Mummy teach me magic spells!” He cried, swinging off his mother’s arm.

“Maybe tomorrow sweetie, I have to go to the café to see how things are going.”

But impatient, stubborn, eleven year-old Jongdae hadn’t waited until the next day. Instead, he snuck into his mother’s study after dinner like he had done on many other occasions, but instead of pulling out a book on basic hexes or charms, he had tugged a particularly grand looking volume, bound in black dragon scales and bearing the title ’An Accomplished Compendium to the most Noble and Refined Dark Arts’ in bold silver lettering. Making sure that no one was in the corridor outside, Jongdae snuck the book into his room and clicked the lock shut and slid open the first page with trembling fingers.

He had read on until nightfall, trying out the spells he could do without attracting attention from anyone else in the house, using the Opugno jinx to try and set a few paper airplanes on his toy dragon (the planes had gotten halfway towards it before losing heart) and even trying the toenail-growing hex on himself (admittedly it wasn’t the best idea he’d ever had, especially since he succeeded). As he progressed through the book, however, he noticed the spells getting darker until he reached the last chapter titled ‘THE UNFORGIVABLE CURSES’. The whole chapter consisted of a single page holding three spell names and no descriptions.

“Unforgivable…” Jongdae muttered to himself, running a finger over the last spell, ‘Avada Kedavra’. He closed the book and climbed into bed, watching the scales as they reflected the moonlight, standing out like the moon in his dark room. He tossed and turned in his bed, trying to fall asleep but that single page kept flashing in his mind.

Avada Kedavra

Silently, Jongdae slipped out of his bed and into the back garden, taking the scale-bound book with him. Glancing back at the house to make sure all the lights were out, Jongdae found a nice, big bush in the corner of the garden to hide himself in. crouching low, he opened the book to stare at the page again, as though it would give him any more information about the spells.

“Unforgivable curses…” he said softly. Curses, as in dark magic used on other people. Or victims. Jongdae didn’t like the sound of that word, victim. He stared blankly down at the page and the three curses, page dim in the moonlight. The bush rustled from beside him and Jongdae jumped, crawling back on his hands in fright. A small rat climbed out and landed softly in the grass.

Avada Kedavra

It sniffed curiously at a half-squashed dandelion by Jongdae’s feet, nosing at the yellow bundle of petals.

Jongdae raised his wand, pointing it directly in front of the creature. It turned its attention to the wand, whiskers twitching.

He took a deep breath to steady his trembling hand.

“Avada Kedavra!”

A flash of green light exploded from his wand tip and the rat stiffened before collapsing sideways onto the dandelion. Jongdae leaned down and poked curiously at it with his wand.

The rat was dead.

“Seriously though, I heard that being under the Imperius curse feels really peaceful. Couldn’t you at least try on me?”

Jongdae stared into Chanyeol’s eager face, gazing unfocusedly into his wide, slightly lopsided eyes.

“No Chanyeol, I’m not going to perform an illegal curse on you.”

“Aww, but-“

“C’mon,” he muttered, swinging his bag over his shoulder, “we’re going to be late for class.”

====================================

Jongdae woke up to loud obnoxious shouts followed by someone ripping away his warm blankets.

“HAPPY FIFTEENTH YOU BIG HEAD.”

“EFOIDASJCKMXUJ.” He rolled sideways and fell by the feet of Park Chanyeol, evil stupid piece of- “how’d you even get in here?” He asked groggily, squinting up at the mass of tall.

“Jinki let me in.” Chanyeol replied happily, dropping a package onto Jongdae’s face. “Happy birthday.”

He caught it just before it made contact with his nose, sitting up to rip the clumsy wrapping and reveal- “a toy mouse?”

“To give to your freak of an owl so maybe it’ll stop eating other people’s pets.” Chanyeol said this with a joking tone and a smile to make the sun puke, Jongdae couldn’t help but feel a little guilty. His pet owl was a particularly vicious Western Screech by the name of Felicia (thanks to his mother), and to say the least Jongdae didn’t have very much control over her. The owl had decided in their third year that she rather fancied Chanyeol’s beloved Marshal as her next meal and there was nothing Jongdae could do to stop her. Jongdae had offered to buy Chanyeol a new ferret but the other had just shook his head, grinning widely in a way that didn’t quite hide the fact that his eyes were bloodshot like he’d been crying himself to sleep for three days straight. However, deciding that the evil owl overlords were sending him some sort of brutal message, Chanyeol decided that his ferret obsession should maybe take a little break. At least, until he was out from under the demonic beak of Felicia.

“I’m ing kidding here’s your real present you big sook.” Chanyeol interrupted his thoughts, tossing another, just as clumsily wrapped present into his lap.

Chanyeol’s gift consisted of a variety of sweets and souvenirs; ranging from a large box of Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans to a delux pack of the newest addition to the Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes’ line of no heat, wet start firecrackers; Carnaval de Chaos.

“Sweet, I snapped mine the other day!” Jongdae exclaimed happily, fishing out a new packet of extendable ears. “Thanks Chanyeol. I guess I could keep you for a little longer.”

Chanyeol acknowledged the comment with a tip of his imaginary hat and went to sit by the foot of Jongdae’s bed, tossing him his other presents one at a time. Jongdae unwrapped a large box of cockroach clusters from Jonghyun, a muggle book titled “How not to be a Dickhead” from Jongin, a large pile of mismatched, multi-coloured socks from his great aunt and a suspicious looking package from Baekhyun which he wasn’t going to open (at least not in front of Chanyeol) until Chanyeol tossed the last package; a package from his mother.

He detached the note first and read it.

Dear son, happy fifteenth. Your father and I both believe that you’re now old enough to learn some more advanced magic they won’t teach you at school. Don’t up and get caught with it though, you’ll probably get me arrested.

~Mum

He stared at the package, weighing it in his hand. It was a book, he was fairly certain of that much, and a heavy one too.

“What is it?” Chanyeol asked.

“A book.” Jongdae answered, starting to tear off the paper.

Suddenly, Chanyeol jumped as Jongdae hurled the book across the room where it thudded and landed innocently on the floor.

“What the did you do that for?” Chanyeol said, still clutching his heart. Jongdae didn’t answer, he was too busy staring at the corner of the package he had torn. Where he could see an aged-looking book bound in black, gleaming dragon scales.

***

Ten minutes later Jongdae walked into the great hall, trying to push thoughts of the book from his mind. This was proven relatively easy by the fact that he was tackled to the floor as soon as he stepped into the hall, turning him into the bottom of a Kim Jong Sandwich while Chanyeol cackled and the people nearest them stared in alarm.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY HYUUUUUUUUUUUNG”

“ASISDLJIC IT’S MY BIRTHDAY NOT MY DEATHDAY STOP TRYING TO KILL ME.”

Jonghyun and Jongin rolled off him, laughing breathlessly while Jonghyun decided it was a good idea to throw a handful of galleons up into the air, and suddenly the students that were staring at them scrambled to their feet, trying to snatch the galleons from the floor. All three brothers and Chanyeol sniggered as they picked themselves up from the floor and made their way to the table for breakfast. Jongdae had just sat down, reaching for the platter of sausages when the morning post arrived and Felicia landed straight onto his plate, looking as grumpy as ever and holding a bright red envelope in her beak. Before he could do anything more than comprehend what the scarlet letter meant, Felicia had dropped the letter right on top of his toast and taken flight again.

“A…Howler?” Jongin asked, staring curiously at the new substitute for jam that was starting to smoke at the edges.

Jongdae eyed the red envelope sceptically. Who would send him a Howler?

But soon, his question was answered as it exploded to life and a female voice boomed out, making the whole hall fall silent.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY SON!”

“ING-“ Jongdae was knocked back by the sheer force of his mother’s voice.

“CONGRATULATIONS ON BEING BORN, YOU’RE NOW OFFICIALLY 15 YEARS GAY. HAVE A CAKE.” And a cake appeared, ballooning out of the howler’s mouth and slamming onto the table. It was a marvellous, triple layered thing with hot pink icing and golden bands circling each layer, twinkling glamorously with multi-coloured sparkles, topped with a rearing unicorn under a glowing rainbow.

“SHARE IT WITH YOUR FRIENDS AND HAVE FUN. GET INTO LOTS OF TROUBLE. SEE YOU AT CHRISTMAS. BYE. FAREWELL. TOODLES. HAVE A GAY DAY. BE GAY. BE VERY GAY. EMBRACE THE GAY.” And with a noise that sounded like two air-horn sounds in quick succession the envelope was gone, replaced by ashes on top of the bacon stack.

There was a silence as everyone stared at Jongdae and Jongdae sat with his face in his hands, wishing that he could apparate within the Hogwarts grounds to get away from this embarrassment.

And then Chanyeol started to laugh. His usual loud, maniac laugh that sounded ten times louder in the silence of the hall. But after a few seconds, everybody started to join in the laughing and Jongdae caught the eye of Baozi boy, who was giggling with a highly amused expression on his face. Jongdae could have combusted from how red his ears were.

“Well at least we get free cake,” Chanyeol said, leaning over to scoop out a huge chunk and dumping it onto a plate. “I’m going to see if Sehun wants some, see ya!”

Jongdae watched miserably as all the surrounding people started eating away the cake too, at least, until all their hair turned rainbow and emitted sparkles like particle effects in a game every time their hair moved. The sea of sparkling rainbow locks and shocked expressions cheered him up somewhat. Number one rule; never trust Kim Jong Mum sending you food, even if it’s for your birthday.

Chanyeol’s hair was back to normal by the time they got to charms, only because Jongdae hated staring at the atrocity and performed the counter-curse for him.

“You know Sehunnie actually looked pretty good with rainbow hair.”

“You think Sehun looks good as anything, Chanyeol.”

“No seriously, he looked amazing. I’m trying to convince him to keep it.” Chanyeol said, eyes twinkling.

Loverboy, Jongdae sighed, turning to face the professor and pretending to listen.

***

Jongdae levitated the books idly in front of him, tossing them up and down with his wand and away from the prying eyes of Madam Pince, or any of the other students. Normally, Jongdae wouldn’t mind about the other students but ever since the breakfast incident, everyone kept wishing him a “happy gay birthday”. Internally cursing his mother for ruining his troublemaker reputation with ‘the gay birthday guy’, which in hindsight he thinks must have been intentional.

And so he was here during his evening free time, tucked away in the corner of the library, levitating spellbooks up and down, trying to think of some ways to get his mother back.

His mind was wandering to letter bombs when Jongdae heard a rustling from nearby and froze, book also halting mid-rotation.

Baozi boy walked into the aisle Jongdae was situated at the end of, apparently to absorbed in trying to find a book to notice Jongdae and the levitating books. At least, until he accidentally walked into “Jinxes for the Vengeful” and turned in confusion before spotting Jongdae.

“You!”

“Oh, uh, hey Baozi!” Jongdae tried to pull off a casual grin as the books resumed their levitating.

“What are you doing here?” He asked suspiciously, eyes narrowing as he eyed the books.

“Well, you know.” Jongdae waved his wand in a ‘whatever’ motion, making the books wobble. “Okay I’ll be honest I’m hiding from my friends because they won’t stop shutting up about that ing birthday howler from my mum.”

“Ohh.” Baozi boy giggled at mention of the morning’s events. “Was that your mum?”

“Yeah, she does that a lot.” Jongdae scratched the back of his neck, looking around.

“That’s cute.” Baozi boy said, smirking. Jongdae flailed mildly and, to his horror, the books came tumbling down and landed on his face.

“I am not cute!” Jongdae said indignantly, but he didn’t get a chance to defend himself further, seeing as Madam Pince stalked around at that very moment and yelled at him for handling her precious books so carelessly, in which time Baozi boy managed to slip away unnoticed by the librarian. Huffing, Jongdae started putting the books back where he found them, it’s not like they would help find revenge for his mum anyway.

An hour later though, Chanyeol had made a grand appearance and started wailing about his ears, providing sufficient distraction and entertainment for Jongdae.

___________________________________________________________

A/N

I KNOW IT’S REALLY AMBIGUOUS BECAUSE I BUT THE LAST SCENE THINGIE WAS MEANT TO TIE IN WITH CHAPTER FIVE

Also all of this takes place prior to chapter 6 it’s more of a catch-up, background development chapter

And uhhhh the sorting was meant to be done in alphabetical order of surname I know but for the sake of plotlines I made it alphabetical by first name ^^

AGAIN IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO SO LONG BUT IT’S LONGER THAN USUAL SO I HOPE YOU FORGIVE ME

AND THE NEXT FEW CHAPTERS ARE ALREADY DONE TOO

-crawls into a hole and makes friends with the resident mouse-

~Unicorn