People say you don’t realize you love something until you lose it. They were right. You didn’t only lose a friend but also the love of your life. And now you were suffering because of that.

You missed a week of classes. You have never missed a class unless you were really sick and couldn’t leave the bed. But this time was an exception. You weren’t sick but you couldn’t leave your bed. You only left your bed to go to the kitchen to grab something to eat and then go back to cry until fall asleep.

I’ll clean tomorrow. You would think every day.

You accidentally stepped on a sweater that was on the floor and felt something hard on your bare foot. It was your phone. You’ve been searching for it but couldn’t find it. Well, if staying on the bed could be called searching. You called Taemin and told him you were sick and if you could borrow his notes once you recovered. He also mentioned Onew and Minho.

“Minho is my friend now. I don’t have to worry about our feelings anymore. And Onew… it’s complicated.”

“You and your complicated relations.”

“I know, right? I should be single forever. It would be easier.”

“You sound tired and sad.”

What was wrong with this man? Was he a mind reader? Or were you like an open book?

“I’m sick. That’s why I sound tired.” And sad.

“Get well soon. Key in love is a bothersome. All I hear from him now is about that woman he loves so much. I need someone normal to talk to.”

“I’m not normal, neither you.” You giggled.

“You’re right. Key is actually the only normal.”

“Maybe you should also find a girl, someone to love.”

“Are you kidding me? And suffer like you are doing?”

“I’m sick. I didn’t say I was suffering.”

“Now you lie to me? I thought we were friends.”

You sighed. “Sometimes I feel you know me better than I do.”

It was good to talk to Taemin and hear his voice, but as soon as you hung up, the pain came again. Jjong was busy and barely had time to be with you during the day. However, every night he would come to your apartment and make you company. He knew if you were alone you would cry. If someone makes you company, at least you would stop crying. That’s why it didn’t matter how tired he was, he would always come to your house and comfort you at night after he finished working. You felt bad for him. You weren’t a good friend for him. You were always crying because of a man. You were such a pity.

It has been a week since Onew left. It was the longest time you haven’t talked to him. Was he that angry? You were so used to see him and talk to him every day that a day without knowing anything about him was like an agony (you were not exaggerating). Where is he? What is he doing now? Is he thinking about you? It has also been a week since Jjong has been making you company at night. Every night. And he didn’t complaint even once.

It was the eighth day and Jjong, as always, came to your apartment. It was 1 am.

“You don’t deserve a friend like me.”

“What are you talking about? It’s 1 am. Are we going to have that kind of conversation now?”

“I’m always crying. You have such a pitiful friend. You must be embarrassed to have a friend like me. It happened with Minho and now with Onew. Ah, seriously, I have no luck in love. But don’t worry. I won’t shed a single tear anymore. Oh. I think I told you this before. I didn’t keep my word.”

You promised him the same thing when you were crying for Minho. Shame on you! You thought.

“Oh, shut up, Selene. Come here, I’m going to hug you until you fall asleep.”

“No, I’m serious. Why you haven’t complained even once? How can you be so patient? Aren’t you sick of my tears? Because I am. I’m sick of crying.”

“What about Onew?”

“I’m so mad at him! Don’t even mention his name.”

He arched an eyebrow.

“I miss him. I miss him so much. I don’t know where he is.”

Every time you tried to call him and didn’t answer you, you would cry more and harder. He doesn’t want to know anything about me. He’s still mad. The last time we saw each other, he was angry. Will this be last memory I’m going to have about him? Onew angry… Onew angry… with… me. Those thoughts kept on your mind for a week –torturing you.

“Please, tell me you’re tired of hearing me cry. Tell me you are sick of having a friend like me.”

He frowned. “I’m not sick of you. Every time you cry, it hurts me. I like to comfort you. Because at least I feel like I’m doing something good to you. I can’t bring Onew to you. All I can do is patiently comfort you and staying by your side.”

You embraced him. “You’re the best best-friend, Jjong. What would I do without you?”

“Should I kick Onew’s ?”

You shook your head –scandalized.

“I was kidding. Just give him so time. He probably is confused. Many things has happened.”

“I’ll wait patiently. I won’t shed more tears. I promise.”

“Don’t make promises that you are not sure if you can keep them. Sleep. Tomorrow is going to be better day.”

“You think so?” You said with sleepy voice.

But those better days didn’t come.

***

Jjong was next to you and awake when you woke up. It was 7 am. It was early. He didn’t have to work until 9 am.

“Did you sleep well?”

You shook your head. He frowned.

“I didn’t cry, so my mind was busy thinking about Onew… and you.”

“About me? I’m sorry I couldn’t let you sleep well. What were you thinking about exactly?”

“Soojung.”

You felt how every inch of his muscles tensed just by the mention of that name. You didn’t know how deep their relation got. But you knew it was deep enough to make Jjong tense up like that.

If you can hear me or read my mind. Why you did that to Jjong, Soojung? Uh? You thought.

Soojung left this world, both her body and soul. But she forgot to leave from Jjong’s heart. You were suffering because of Onew and he didn’t want to give you more worries, so he didn't mention Soojung even once. You were a crybaby, you may cry all day, but you weren’t stupid. You could see in those eyes that he hasn’t forgotten her.

Jjong was more a lonelier person. He had only few friends and would stick to only one –you. It was weird for him to fall for someone so easily. Why from all the people he had to fall for a ghost?

“I know what you’re thinking now. Don’t worry. I’ll eventually forget her. I’m going to write a song about her.”

“That’s how you forget and get over things, right? That’s why you have never written a song about me!”

He smiled. “I got caught.”

“So that’s the reason. I always thought you were a selfish and didn’t want to give me a song since you’re so talented. All the songs you write came from a bad experience?”

“No, not all of them.”

“So you are a selfish! When are you going to write me a song, uh? Onew has already written...”

He ruffled your hair. “I'll write you one or ten songs if you want. I don't need a song to express how much I love you, Selene. I see you everyday. I’m going to work. I have to write a song for a ghost.”

You sulked. “Thanks for staying with me again.”

“Always.”

“Jjong.”

“Uh?”

“Nothing.”

“Jjong.”

“Yes?” He said patiently.

“You will always be my friend, right?”

He smiled. “I will.” 

***

Jjong came home earlier. He didn’t mention you that. Well, he neither mentioned he will come home late. You just assumed it since he always come home late. You went to open the door to Jjong (it was an excuse to get off of your bed). He sometimes would knock the door before entering but sometimes he just come in without telling you. He was as unpredictable as your mood.

“Come in; it’s open.”

He knocked again.

“Yah! I told you it was open. Also, you have ke –Onew.”

It was Onew. It was Onew standing in front of you after almost two weeks without knowing anything about him. He was the real Onew, right? He wasn’t a ghost or something like that. He was made of flesh and bone, right? Now you weren’t sure about anything. The Soojung-ghost-experience was kind of creepy now that you thought about it. Probably you will never forget about that.

“Are you Onew?”

You heard a soft laugh coming from his lips. It was such a beautiful sound. You realized you missed him so much (just now?)

You frowned. Why he was laughing? What was so funny? 

“Why you disappeared? You turned your phone off.” Your voice broke before you finished speaking.

“Can I come in?”

You nodded.

Once he entered, you felt like he never left. Was it real that you didn’t see him for two weeks? Yes, it was. Was it real that he was angry with you? Yes, it was. You wanted to throw your arms on his neck and kiss him. Yes, kiss those lips. And maybe touch his hair. But you remembered yourself that you were angry with him and that only yesterday you decided to stop crying. You couldn’t forgive him so easily. You weren’t that weak.

“Answer.”

“What?”

“You haven’t answered me. Why you didn’t answer my calls?”

“You said you wanted a break.”

You sighed exasperatedly.

“Yes, I did, but not in that way. You were angry and that’s why you left. It wasn’t a break. At least not for you.”

“I don’t understand you. You said you wanted to take a break but… You rejected me, Selene.”

“Yah, pabo. You’re so annoying. As soon as you left, I tried calling you. I wanted to tell… I wanted to tell you… that…”

“What you wanted to tell me, Selene?”

I love you. You wanted to say. But those words were scary to say out loud.

I love you. Why they are so hard to say? They were only three words. Three simple words. You say I and you like thousands time a day, but why with the word love would become so hard to say? Your lips wouldn’t obey you. You wanted to say it but you couldn’t.

“I’m sorry.” I’m sorry I can’t say I love you so easily.                         

“That’s all? That’s all you wanted to tell me?” He looked a little disappointed.

You didn’t know what to answer. Actually you wanted but your voice wouldn’t come out. All you could hear was the furious beats of your heart.

“Is that a farewell? Selene, say something. What are you sorry about?” He smiled. It was a sad smile though. “I guess I was expecting more than I was allowed to.”

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry it took me so long to realize that… I love you.” You sighed. “I’ve wanted to say that since a long time ago,” you whispered.

Where was the brave and angry Selene from a moment ago? Your voice was a mere whisper. Your hands were shaking and your heart was beating so fast. Thump, thump. Thump, thump. Your body was all shaking because you finally pronounced those three words. They may seem three simple words, but not for you. You wouldn't say those words to any person, like some people say I love you like if they were just greeting someone. When you say it, you are sincere about your feelings. So far, you have only said I love you to few people, your parents; Jjong; Minho, and now Onew.

Why now it’s him who doesn’t say anything? You thought. Did you say the wrong words?

You heard him sigh –relieved.

“I thought I’d never hear that.” He walked one step closer to you, shorting the distance between he and you, and then embraced you tightly in his arms, like if he will never let you go.

“I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry now, uh? You just showed me that those words aren’t just empty words for you. It’s so much meaningful now to hear those words. I also love you, Selene.”

“I am chicken (coward).”

“I love chicken.”

You laughed out loud. It was the first laugh since a long time. And it was thanks to Onew. Your first laugh was with Onew. That thought made you smile.

“What’s so funny?”

“You.”

“Me?”

“I’m angry with you.”

“That’s why I am funny?”

“No.”

“You’re confusing, Selene.” He buried his finger on your forehead. “I thought you said you loved me. You said it out loud. I heard it well.”

You blushed. “Yes, I did. But I’m angry.”

“Are you angry? Or hungry?”

"Don't joke. Do you have idea how much I missed you?”

He grabbed your face with both hands, leaned down and stared at your eyes. He was looking at you intensely.

“You cried?”

You looked away –ashamed. Your eyes were  probably still swollen from crying too much.

“I did,” you whispered.

“I promised I will only make you smile. I also hated Minho for making you cry every day. But I’m also an .”

“No, you aren’t. I cried because I’m a crybaby. It’s not your fault.”

“It’s not my fault? I was the reason you cried!”

“You’re here now. I won’t cry anymore. Now you can make me smile every day. I always laugh and smile when I’m with you.”

“I’m glad to hear that.”

“But… why you left?”

He looked away, probably ashamed.

“I was angry and I kept saying things that I know I was going to regret. I had no option but to leave. I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“You said you left because you didn’t want to hurt me. But it took you almost two weeks to come back. You turned your phone off. You didn’t show up even once. Nothing! I thought you were angry with me all this time and that you would never forgive me.”

“I’m sorry. I was ashamed of myself.”

“Ashamed?! Aish.” You hit his arm.

“Yah! Don’t hit me.”

“Let me hit you first.” You kicked his . “All this time I thought you hated me but you were hiding I don’t know where because you were ashamed of yourself. Yah!” You hit him few more times.

Jjong would be proud of me. You thought and giggled.

“Now I feel much better. By the way, you won’t believe this.”

“What?” He put both arms in front of his face like protecting him.

“I won’t hit you anymore.” You chuckled. “Minho, my ex, is also your student, Minho. They were the same person all this time!”

“You mean, one of my best students, Minho, a handsome, gentleman and talented person, is the of your ex?”

“He’s my friend now.”

“Should I stop giving him classes?”

“Oh, no, no, please. Don’t do that. You wouldn't do that to Minho, would you?”

“Why are we talking about Minho?”

“Because I mentioned him and remembered that…”

“We haven’t seen for two weeks, you confessed to me, we know our feelings for each other. And I got hit by you. Aren’t we forgetting something?”

“Uh, what?”

“The kiss scene.”

“Tsss. Is this a drama or what –?”

And that’s how a new beginning with Onew started, with a kiss scene.

"Wait a second."

What? He just kissed you and left away from your lips like if nothing happened. Perhaps you didn't provoke any effect on him? Your eyes were closed and you could still taste the sweet scent of his lips. When you opened the eyes, he was looking for something in his purse.

He came back with an iPod touch and earphones.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm sorry for leaving you like that."

You were not sure if he was talking about the kiss or the day he left your apartment angry.

"I'll never leave you again."

He helped you to put the earphones. He gave you the right one and he used the left one. And then the song In Your Eyes was played.

“Like a drama,” you said surprised.

“Like a drama.”

“In Your Eyes is my favorite song from this OST.”

“Isn’t this what you have always wanted? A romantic scene like those dramas you always watch and talk about.” He chuckled.

“This song is perfect for this moment." You smiled. "But I don’t need any drama. Being with you is enough. And actually… that kiss scene was better than all the kiss scene that I’ve watched. It’s weird for me to say that since I was the one who got the kiss. So, should say that your kiss was way much better than any kiss scene I've watched?”

He smiled, with that smile that remembered you the first time you met him.

Tadaaan! it's the last chapter but... there's still the epilogue so it's not the end yet hehe ^^ I hope you liked how it ended, I always finish my stories with happy endings though xd