Since that unusual night, Onew went to your house many times. Who would have thought that? You two were really comfortable around each other and you could finally consider him like a best friend. Somehow that uncomfortable kiss episode made you two get closer instead of making you feel awkward to each other. He wasn’t just Seoul friend, he was now a best friend. You decided to forget that kiss. He said he didn’t regret it, neither you to be honest. But everything was cleared and that you two kissed because you were got carried away by emotions and the moment, but that was all. You were still friends –good friends. And you didn’t want to lose this beautiful relationship because of a kiss.

Friendship. You thought. Friendship was such a beautiful thing but also extremely fragile. You have always been a loyal friend to your close friends. You hated the most to disappoint or hut them. But in return, you got hurt many times.

Some people may call you stupid for forgiving so fast. You weren't the kind of person that hold grudge and take revenge. For what? To get more hurt? You just needed few days (well, maybe not few days. A week? Okay, months) to spend time alone, travel alone, cry alone, eat anything you wanted, sleep, rest, turn your phone off and ignore your surroundings. After doing those lonely and depressing things, you would feel refreshed.

However, in the middle of your recovery of your broken heart, you met Onew.

You came like a light to me, he told you. Yes, he also came a like a light to you. There was only happiness and tears –tears of happiness– when you were with him. You did things that you haven’t done before, you got to experience many things with him like going to picnic, study in a café, make friends with Thomas, get an autograph from K.Will and receive a song as a gift. There wasn’t a single day you were bored with him. He also helped you to overcome the breakup with Minho. And you could say that you finally overcame the breakup with Minho.

Did Onew filled up the emptiness that Minho left in your heart?

***

“Are you sure you want to go?” Onew asked you.

You explained him your thoughts about Minho, that you finally overcame the breakup and that you didn't hold any grudge towards him. If this was a video game, you could say you went to the next level.

“Yes, I haven’t seen him for a while. Also, I couldn’t reject his invitation.”

“Overcoming a breakup doesn’t mean you don’t have feelings for him.”

“He’s my friend. I know he made a mistake, but still he is my friend.”

“Okay, I’m just telling you. I don’t want to see you hurt again.”

“I won’t. Thanks for caring.”

“Have fun.”

“See you tomorrow!”

Onew was right; overcoming a breakup didn’t mean that you didn’t have feelings for Minho anymore. And you wanted to figure it out. You haven’t seen him for ages, since you went to watch a movie with him to be specific. You decided to forgive him and give him a chance to be your friend. It only hurt you to keep thinking about the past. But did you still have feelings for him? You didn’t know the answer.

You wore black jeans, a grey sweater and sneakers, comfortable clothes. Minho invited you to watch a soccer match. You didn’t like soccer and you didn’t understand anything related to that. You thought it was boring. Maybe it was because you didn’t understand it. However, you accepted the invitation because Minho was so excited to play soccer and wanted you to cheer him up. You couldn’t say no. Also, you were happy he went back to the fields. He looked happier and it seemed that he really changed. You weren’t sure but he didn’t resemble you the old Minho anymore.

“You came!” Minho waved from the field.

You smiled and waited until he approached you.

“I told you I would.”

“The other team is really good but ours is also good.”

“You’ve always been so good at soccer! I’m sure you will win.”

“Past.”

“Uh?”

“You talked in past. Didn’t we agree to not mention our past?”

“There were also good things in our past.”

“I guess you’re right. If we win, do you want to go to some place to eat?”

“Yes!”

“Okay. I’ll make sure to win then.”

As you said before, you didn’t like soccer but you had fun cheering Minho and his team. The opposing team was very aggressive, you didn’t like that. You cheered louder for Minho and his team. You even got some stares and giggles from the audience. Although you didn’t understand the rules, you would get anxious every time the opposing team almost made a goal or stole the ball from Minho’s team.

Minho’s team won, of course. He screamed out of happiness and did high-five with his teammates. They also greeted the opposing team who didn’t have a happy face at all. Then Minho ran towards you and you also did high-five with him. He looked so happy. You chuckled.

“Well done! I knew you will win.”

“I’ll change my clothes first. Meet you here in a moment.”

You nodded.

After twenty minutes, he came back. He looked like a model came out from a magazine. He always does. You thought.

“Where are we going now?”

He touched the back of his head. He looked nervous.

“Well, I thought it would be a good idea to make a picnic since today the weather is good.”

“Nice!”

“Really?”

You nodded. “I like picnics. I’ve only done it once though.”

It was with Onew. You remembered that day. Onew made a surprise event for you and brought a lot of food that he cooked by himself. You were helping him to write his song. At that time, you didn’t know that song was about you. You smiled.

“Selene. Selene?” Minho called you many times. “Here you have. I learnt how to cook but it’s not that good. I hope you like it though.”

He learned to cook? In the past, he would rather go to a restaurant instead of cooking, and you weren't good at the kitchen so you would never cook for him.

“I’m so hungry that everything will taste good.”

He laughed.

“You looked happy in the field, playing soccer.”

“Yes, I was. I’m glad I began to play again. My coach was so happy to see me again.”

“You must be his favorite.” You giggled.

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe I am.” He smiled. “Want to try this?”

He approached a kimbap to your mouth. He wanted to feed you but you felt uncomfortable.

“Let’s not do that.”

“Why?”

“It feels like if we were a couple.”

He put down the kimbap and looked at you.

“You know what made me realize I still had feelings for you?”

You shook your head.

“Every time I saw an empty space next to my bed and that I won’t be able to hug you between my arms again, I missed you. But then I found that I missed you the most every time I achieved something great, and you weren’t there to smile along with me and tell me things like I’m so happy for you; I knew you will make it; you’re the best. I was the happiest when I saw you there cheering me.”

“I had fun cheering out loud. You should invite me again next time.” You said although you knew he didn’t mean that but you didn’t want to feel more uncomfortable.

“Are you still angry about what I did to you?”

“No, I’m not. I think it was my fault to be honest. I was a bad girlfriend.”

“What are you saying?”

“I realized something. All this time I wasn’t mad that you slept with my best friend. Of course I was, but it wasn't the main reason. Maybe what hurt me more was the things you didn’t tell me.” You sighed. “Let’s not talk about this. It’s from the past.”

“Sel, don’t censor yourself. Tell me everything you want to say, no matter how much it will hurt. It hurt me more seeing you keeping everything for you.”

You bit the lower lip trying hard not to cry. Your eyes were watery already. You looked at your phone that suddenly rang. The screen said it was from Onew. Minho was waiting for your answer and without knowing, tears fell. You didn’t know what to do. Should you answer the call? Or should you answer Minho first?

“It hurt me that after I saw you and Alexis that night, you didn't sought after me, no calls; no messages; no I’m sorry, I did wrong. Nothing. For four months I cried thinking that you didn’t love me. You did tell me I love you many times before –many times. But it was like repeating a phrase from a book. It didn’t have any meaning.

>>We aren't really close anymore but then again were we ever? I told you everything about me, but I guess you never got to know the little things. You never knew how I felt, what I liked and disliked. So can we say we were close?

“It was my fault. I was scared as and I hated myself. I did not only sleep with Alexis that night, I also fooled you for months. Maybe I didn’t cry, but it hurt. Maybe I didn’t say it, but I was really sorry. Maybe I didn’t show it, but I did care for you. And I still love you. I was a total stupid."

>>Please, let me stay by your side, so I can give back to you the loved that I had only received. Give me a second chance and I will show you that I had changed.

As if it was nothing, he shook up your heart again like the first time you dated. You were a little surprised. Actually, you missed him so much. You wanted to lean on his shoulder and cry and tell him that you loved him. But you couldn’t. You smiled instead.

“I’ll give you an advice. If you leave someone at least tell them why, because you know what’s more painful than being abandoned? It’s knowing you’re not worth an explanation. That’s how I felt.”

“Selene…”

Please, don’t be good to me. Don’t be good to me anymore. You thought. You were weaker than you seemed. Seeing him being sweet again it only hurt you.

He approached you and sat closer to you. He embraced you and approached your body towards his.

“Please, don’t hate me.”

“I don’t. I really don’t.”

“Then… stay with me.”

He suddenly kissed you. It was a gentle and sweet kiss like if he wasn’t sure this was right or not. You weren’t sure if you could call it a kiss actually. He just gently placed his lips over yours. But you felt the sincerity on that kiss.

You got surprised, of course, but you weren’t mad at him. You knew your feelings well. It was then when you realized that he would never love you as much as you loved him. Minho’s failing was that he never listens to your feelings. He always did as he wanted. And you always did as he wanted. But you weren’t the old Selene anymore. You didn’t want to follow him everywhere, dress the clothes that he liked, go to the places that he liked, and do everything that he liked. If he knew your feelings well, he wouldn’t insist you to date him again, he would give you more time or ask you how you felt, instead of asking you what you didn't like about him and try to change it, because you liked him as himself.

“Sorry, I can’t.”

“I know you still have feelings for me.”

“I do. But I can’t see you the same way as before.”

“Why? There’s something you don’t like? I’ll change it. Just tell me.”

“Because there’s someone else,” you said without thinking.