CHAPTER 18

SEHUN'S POV

‘Because you are my boyfriend’

‘you are my boyfriend’

‘are my boyfriend’

‘my boyfriend’

‘BOYFRIEND’

Haerin’s sentence echoed in my mind.

I chuckled as I rolled on my bed.

She said I’m her boyfriend….

You were too cute for words, Haerin-ah.

Hey..do you know? I broke the promise I made for myself. I promised that I won't fall in love again.

But I broke it.

Stupid of me for breaking such an easy thing like that. But you made it difficult, Haerin-ah.. It was all your fault, you know?

I smiled when I recalled back the first time I met her.

I was running at that time, afraid that my mother would looking for me since I left her alone but suddenly I bumped into a girl.

! My precious ice cream..

I looked up and saw she was examining my gorgeous face. Huh! Girls nowadays.. Always thinking about outer features only.

I hated that kind of woman. And I’d found it many times already.

So I started to cry loudly (fake) and forced her to buy me two more sticks of ice creams. She was clearly annoyed with me at that time. See? That kind of girls would only smiled at me when I act normal.

I didn’t even thank her and kept on annoying her until her face turned red.

Haha! Yeah.. I was such a cruel person.

Pity? You’re wrong. I didn’t have any heart for girls.

Few days later, I met her again and I could see that she hated seeing me. However, she is a polite girl. She spoke politely to my mother and she even agreed to join us to the café even when I could tell from her face that she didn’t want to join us.

In the cafe, I pretended to be busy with my ipad while listening to their conversation.

My beloved mother was crying!

Omma I’m sorry for troubling you.. I’m really sorry.. but I need to do this.. for certain reason. I know I 'm selfish.. I know.. I love you, omma.

And.. what?!

She was going to babysit me? Oh no.. my mother believed her too easily. I knew that kind of girl would dump me when my mum was not around or bring me to her friends, showing off that I was her new-handsome-boyfriend and forced me to admit it. And the money that mum gave her would be used for herself. Just like the previous babysitter...

*sigh* Never mind.. I was used to it.

Saturday finally came and she came to my house to do her ‘job’. After my mum went out, I just sat on the couch. feeling bored already.

I know she’d dump me and do her own stuff after this.

Surprisingly, she greeted me and introduced herself happily. And she even said that she wanted to be friends with me!

Was she crazy wanting to befriend an autistic guy? I'd never met this kind of girl before.. she was different..

Maybe she’s not as bad as I thought..

She was about to give up when I didn’t  respond, so I quickly laughed and annoyed her by saying she is Misae noona. But she didn’t say anything other than it was the time for breakfast.

I decided to act comfortably around her since she was not as bad as I thought and I didn’t regret it at all. She treated me kindly and even watched cartoons with me.

From the morning till the evening, she always made me smile. She was indeed a naughty girl. She loved teasing me, bickering with me like a little kid and I always made her mad.

I admitted that she looked so cute when she was mad.

And since that day, I couldn't wait for Saturday to come.

That day she took me to the amusement park, I also didn’t have any idea on what I was doing. My darn hands found their way stupidly to her slim waist on the way to the amusement park.

But I felt good in that position.

I reminded myself that I was an autistic guy so I could do anything I want. I smiled and rested my chin on her shoulder.

 At the park, she interwined our hands. The act made my stomach twisted. She even said that I was cute! It was so rare for a girl to say something like that to me because I always heard the word hot, gorgeous, handsome, y and others on the same lines.

After we had done playing, she said she was hungry and she’d turn ugly if she didn’t eat. That time I was trying so hard not to burst into a big laugh.

See? I told you. She was naughty.

 As I dragged her to the deobbokki stall nearby, she was muttering some words that I couldn’t hear so I stopped and she bumped into my chest, making our faces just an inch apart. My heart went into an overdrive.

Thank God she broke the awkward moment.

After we finished eating, we walked happily and I found her beautiful that time, hence the reason my stupid mouth blurted out she is beautiful thereafter.

Though so, she just admitted it cockily. She was very sly I told you.

Someone called her name. She just grinned playfully and said sorry to them. Her friends started giggling thinking that I was Haerin’s boyfriend.

But Haerin was trying so hard to tell them that I was not her boyfriend. I didn’t know why I was feeling upset. Wasn’t that what I want?

Then, a guy asked me if I was her boyfriend. I could tell that he liked Haerin from his face..

So I said that I was, her boyfriend.

I was an autistic guy, right? I could do what I want.

And served me right!

Haerin was so mad at me and my nonsense excuse didn’t help at all.

I wrapped my hands around her waist and whispered my apology to her. My action reminded me of someone..

I always did this when I was trying to persuade her..

And a tear escaped my eyes.

But the tears made Haerin forgave me.

The next Saturday, eomma said that Haerin couldn’t come to my house and I was so bored since I’ve got nothing to do.

So I called her but she didn’t answer it.

I tried again and finally-

It was not her.

It was a man's voice. I asked who he was and he said that he was the guy at the amusement park. I didn’t know why my heart was fuming that time. I asked him her whereabouts and he said that she was beside him and she was busy.

She was beside him and she was busy.

Wow! What kind of answer was that?! I wonder what they were doing.

And then I heard Haerin's voice. She said she was busy before saying goodbye.

That’s all?

I swiped the red screen. I wished she would call me later and say sorry to me..

But she didn’t, till the next Saturday..

She came to my house happily and I kept ignoring her but I hated myself for being easy with her. I decided to let it go since she was so happy that time and I didn’t want to let her leave my house.

I asked her why she looked so happy that day. And her answer made my heart dropped. She had already agreed to go out for a date?

Why was it too fast?

At that time, I hated acting like a kid.

If I acted like a normal guy, I’d have asked her for a date right away..

At the same time, I realized that I liked her more than a babysitter. Scratch that. I loved her. I want her for myself only. I hesitated remembering about my promise to myself, but when I think back, I didn’t care anymore. I would love her in secrecy.

I kissed her before that guy could do it.

I felt relieved when I kissed her but she pushed me and asked confusedly what I was doing.

Oh yeah! I almost forgot that I was the autistic Sehun.

I gave her some nonsense excuses and she was so annoyed by that. She shouted at me for stealing her first kiss. I was so happy at hearing that. Kekeke I was the first, guys! I was so proud of myself.

I pulled her to the yard, intend to spend the time with her before she’d be someone’s. But she was deep in thought, thinking about what she wanted to wear for her date the next day. She was clearly happy about the date..

I couldn’t help that.. it was impossible for me to make her fall in love with me..

I sat on the bench and stared at the picture in my phone while wondering why I was the one hurting when it comes to love thingy.

But Haerin saw what I was doing!

I tried so hard to give an excuse to her but she said that she knew about it already. I was very shocked at that moment but luckily it’s not what I thought.

I thought she already knew about the autism thingy.

Rain started to drop and I sat on the bench as I recalled back the memories with Jun Ah.. and remembering that I didn’t have any chance at all on Haern, my tears blended in with the raindrops.

On the next day, I woke up with sore throat and throbbing head. I vomited for the umpteenth time. My mum brought me to the hospital and I was hospitalized. 

Surprisingly, Haerin was in front of me the moment I opened my eyes. I didn’t expect that she would cancel her date just for me..

But she said it was because of my mum.

Yeah.. of course.. *sigh*

I found Kai’s presence so disturbing so I did many things to make him leave, which he finally did.

Yeah.. I told you I was cruel..

I was so happy Haerin was around me and I was glad she was worried about me. I could tell that from her face. I was so happy until I didn’t feel sick or anything at that time. She was so nice that day because I was sick. I guess I started to like the fever.

I didn't want to sleep because it was no fun if I sleep. I wanted to spend this precious time with her. It was so hard having her being nice like this. 

So we played the games and she was really childish. She concurred my ipad and I couldn't do anything so I rested my head on her shoulder. I was feeling good the moment my head touched her shoulder.

When she patted my cheeks, I didn't know how to breathe anymore.  She was seriously making me