Edited; Re-uploaded

                Chanyeol’s stomach heaved when he strained out a cough, and tears pricked his eyes as he held in the urge to vomit all of a sudden. He curved his arms around himself, fighting down the queasy feeling that had gripped him since early in the morning. He leaned forward so that his head rested on his knees, and right as he did so, a hand came out of nowhere to land hesitantly on his shoulder.

                Turning slightly so that he could see the figure beside him, Chanyeol immediately felt the sensitivity decrease by the simple look of worry that carved itself onto Baekhyun’s features. The eyeliner he’d applied the night before was smeared all underneath his eyes, and his equally black hair was still messy from sleep. He obviously hadn’t looked in the mirror yet, and that alone was enough to see that his mind was elsewhere for once. It was the same for them all.

                “Are you alright?” Baekhyun asked softly, as if speaking too loud would cause Chanyeol to heave again, to the giant’s slightest amusement. Chanyeol managed a small smile, nodding his head as he blinked away the last of the liquid that blurred his eyes.

                “I’m good. Just a cough.”

                “Well it didn’t sound like one.” Baekhyun commented, taking a seat next to Chanyeol on the open couch in the home’s vast living room. They were told that it was one of Siwon’s homes, placed in some small, suburban area, whose people were mindful of their own business. It was vaguely mentioned that it was a backup site, which was perfect for their supposed temporary relocation, according to their superiors. Despite it homey appearance, it felt like prison.            

                “I’m really okay, Baek. Honest.”

                “Right, so maybe you aren’t puking everywhere like some people, but you can’t be telling me that you aren’t angry!” Baekhyun insisted, to which Chanyeol had to tilt his head in confusion.

                “What do you mean by that?”

                “I’m talking about Joon!” The shorter teen went on, puffing out a breath of air before he could continue fuming. “Brats! He called us ing brats!” Baekhyun released a short noise of rage, obviously not caring that said man could be listening to them from any close radius. “Urgh! I want to punch him so bad!”

                “Baekhyun, calm down.” Chanyeol soothed, placing a large hand on the angry teen’s back. “Even without your current injuries, I think that would cause you more harm than good.”     

                Though that wouldn’t have stopped Baekhyun on any other normal day, he actually accepted Chanyeol’s masked words of concern. Instead of stressing himself further, Baekhyun flopped back on the couch, his head resting against the soft cushions. Chanyeol allowed a small smile as he mirrored the boy’s actions, and their foreheads touched lightly when both were settled. It was a comfortable moment given the circumstances, and after a mere few seconds of silence, Baekhyun brought his legs over Chanyeol’s until he was curled up on the giant’s lap, causing a smile to spread widely over Chanyeol’s face.

                “I’m just cold. Nothing else to it.” Baekhyun muttered in a poor attempt at an excuse, which only furthered the width of the giant’s grin. Chanyeol brought his arms around Baekhyun’s tiny body, guiding the other’s head to his chest while doing so, before he too spoke.

                “Maybe you should get cold more often.”

                Silence fell between them once more, but not before Baekhyun sneaked a small pinch to his side. It was just proof that he’d said the right thing.

                Chanyeol relished times like these. Where he could pretend that nothing was wrong and simply sit together with Baekhyun, smelling his hair and feeling his warmth. It was reassuring in more ways than one, and he hoped that nothing would ever prevent this in their future. The feelings he felt for Baekhyun pulsed so strongly every time he so much as looked at the boy, that he actually wondered if something were wrong with him, as cheesy as it sounded. He just loved him so much, he didn’t know what to do with himself.

                And of course, as unlucky as Chanyeol was, the moment had to come to an abrupt end. This time, the perpetrator was Youngjae, who made himself known when he banged his toe on the coffee table while stumbling across their mildly intimate period. Any victim of such an incident would never be able to hold in a cry of pain, and even Youngjae wasn’t exempted as he oh-so-rudely did. 

                Both Chanyeol and Baekhyun flinched at the loud bang of Youngjae’s foot against the table, and then again when he howled in pain. Chanyeol suppressed a groan and stayed as he was for just a moment longer before turning to see Youngjae hopping around on one foot, and Baekhyun didn’t bother blocking his own groan. In fact, the sound erupted from his mouth in the most exaggerated way possible, that Chanyeol nearly laughed and forgot entirely about Youngjae just for that. Except, he didn’t forget about Youngjae, and the young teen turned a wide-eyed gaze on them as soon as he realized what he’d done.

                “I’m so sorry! I was in such a hurry that I accidently ran into the table! I didn’t mean to disturb you!” Youngjae let out in a rush, barely sparing them a second before he was running past them into the kitchen. Even from the distance that spanned out between the two rooms, it was clear that Youngjae was searching for something just by the frantic sounds of drawers and cupboards being opened and slammed shut, with the clanging and shuffling of objects in between. Not to mention the frustrated sounding groans that Youngjae made when passing them once more in order to open a closet in one corner of the living room.

                After a good minute of watching Youngjae running around, seeming to not find what he was looking for, Chanyeol had to intervene. His curiosity just couldn’t be contained, or maybe he was just pissed that they’d been interrupted. Either one worked.

                “What are you looking for, Youngjae?”

                More movement and crashes followed, before an actual answer was spoken.

                “I don’t know what happened to the medical kits I told Siwon to store! They have all my materials and I need to start checking up on wounds, and I don’t have any time to be looking for them like this!” Youngjae extracted himself from the closet, messy hair muddled further when he clawed at his brown locks. “I’ll have to go to the store now, but I’m so busy, I don’t think I can make it! I have so much work to catch up on after making such a large lunch and then your health is at risk, too! And Siwon will kill me if I miss a single task! And I-I—!”

                “Youngjae!” Chanyeol broke in, interrupting the teen right as he looked on the verge of hyperventilating. “Calm down. Why don’t we go to the store for you?”

                Youngjae froze, eyes wide and crazed. “What?”

                “You can catch up on your work, and Baek and I can go get those materials for you. It’ll save you time, and we have nothing better to do, anyway. Just write a list of things to buy and we’ll do it for you.”

                And only minutes later, Chanyeol and Baekhyun were standing at the front door, dressed in fresh clothing and casual jackets to face the end of March chill. A small list with neat handwriting sat folded in Chanyeol’s pocket, and Youngjae fumbled with his hands as he watched them put their shoes on. When they passed him, Baekhyun swept a hand through the other’s messy hair, sending him a small smile.

                “Take a chill pill, dude. Don’t stress yourself out.”

                “We’ll be back soon.” Chanyeol added, giving his own grin. “And for once, I agree with Baek’s advice.”                                             

                Youngjae didn’t say much other than mutter a small word of thanks, which Chanyeol barely even caught due to Baekhyun reaching up to smack him lightly upside the head. They parted ways after that, using the separate directions that they’d been given to reach the nearest pharmacy. It was a decent distance away, since the house they occupied was located on the outskirts of town. They had to pass through a few suburban neighborhoods, and then they found the pharmacy among a cluster of other stores along one street. The area was surprisingly crowded, as they had assumed the town was small from what they’d seen, with people filling the entire street. No cars were even able to pass, and Chanyeol and Baekhyun had to follow the steady flow of people until they finally reached their destination.

                Once inside the pharmacy, both teens scanned the walls and ceiling for signs directing them to the medical sections. It wasn’t that hard to spot, and they were soon standing before shelves of bandages and disinfectants, among other things. The two teens repeatedly checked Youngjae’s list to gather the correct materials, and they deposited them into a basket that Chanyeol had grabbed on the way in. It wasn’t long until it was full of all sorts of Youngjae’s goodies, and then Baekhyun was hurrying across the room to find goodies of his own.

                The snacks were located in the opposite corner of the store, and Baekhyun made a beeline for the chocolate assortments. Chanyeol, on the other hand, went to the single front register that was open and started checking out their items. After all, he had to figure out how much money they had left over before they could actually buy anything extra, as Youngjae had allowed them to. The payment went by quickly, as the store was completely empty other than them, and Chanyeol soon joined Baekhyun, who had a gathering of chips and other sweets piled in his arms.

                When the basket started to get a little full, Chanyeol had to force Baekhyun to stop his craving collection so that they could pick out what they could afford. Many of the items had to be picked out, and Chanyeol left it to Baekhyun to choose which ones. He didn’t care much, for he didn’t know the others’ tastes well.

                Puffing out a breath of air, Chanyeol stuffed his hands in his jacket pockets and wandered down the aisle of sweets, eyes scanning the available snacks. It only took a few steps with his long legs to reach the back of the small store, and then he lifted his eyes from where they’d been on the shelves to look at the slanted mirror that was placed at the top of the far wall. His distorted reflection stared back at him, and at the same time, movement to his right caught his eye.

                Chanyeol shifted his eyes a bit to see that another person occupied the room. He hadn’t realized they weren’t alone, save for the cashier up front, and he hadn’t heard any doors opening since they’d arrived. The figure didn’t even seem to notice Chanyeol was there at first. He wore muted darks, completely covered from head to toe in an outfit that couldn’t look anything other than suspicious.

                Narrowing his eyes, Chanyeol kept a discreet eye on the figure. He couldn’t see whether it was a man or not, but then the head turned up and a flicker of something horrid revealed itself. Ugly black scales made up the skin of its face, with teeth that were forever bared in a sickening snarl. Beady black eyes, even darker than its skin, blinked twice, and Chanyeol fought the urge to shout and possibly puke, too.

                For a moment, his heart sped up to an incredible speed, but then he reminded himself to remain calm. He tore his eyes away for only a split second, and when he looked back, the man was perfectly human. His heart began another race.

                I’m imagining things… This is just an after effect of shock… Everything’s fine…

                But the chill that spread through Chanyeol’s body told him the opposite, and he put up his most nonchalant act of walking up to Baekhyun and urging him to choose quickly. As it turned out, the shorter teen had only been waiting for him, so they headed off for the register once more. 

                Unlike before, this time the buying process seemed to take ages. Long seconds passed between each beep of the scanner, and Chanyeol’s fingers thumped lightly against his thigh with impatience. The eerie feeling still remained, and he imitated looking at some mini flashlights from a counter display, when really, he was gazing back across the store. He searched for the figure he’d seen, only to see that he’d moved up and now stood a mere few feet away. Alarms went off in Chanyeol’s head.

                The crinkling of plastic bags brought his attention back, and he turned to handle another of the bags. He already had two in his hand, but he wanted to get out as soon as possible, so he stole a bag from under Baekhyun’s grasp and started heading for the door. A small bell sounded as they left the building, and Chanyeol once again led the way through the crowd. He felt relaxed in the fresher air, but then the second jingling of a door rang in his ears, and he stiffened once more.

                He needed to look back. He needed to make sure things were okay. He needed to see if it was right to be suspicious.

                Slowing their pace slightly, Chanyeol reached for Baekhyun’s free right hand and took it in his own. Then, ignoring the shorter teen’s look of surprise, he leaned in as if to kiss the other’s cheek. Chanyeol’s eyes darted to the side as he did so, and that small glance was all that was required for him to seek out an immediate dark figure that trailed behind them. His breath hitched in his throat, but he forced down a thick lump and whispered in Baekhyun’s ear.

                “We’re being followed.”

                Baekhyun’s eyebrows shot up when Chanyeol pulled away, and he responded in an equally low voice. “Are you sure?”

                “Almost positive.”

                Baekhyun didn’t say anything, somewhat unable to as they struggled to stay together when a large group tried to intercept them. After they passed and stood side by side once more, Chanyeol could see the fear etched on Baekhyun’s features.

                “What are we going to do?” He asked feebly.

                It was a question that Chanyeol didn’t have an answer to. He was also scared, for Baekhyun more than himself. The shorter teen was still healing. It hadn’t even been a day since his injuries were treated, and he was sure to still be in pain. They were in no condition to fight; not mentally, anyway.

                Chanyeol looked around to get some sort of an idea on what to do. Usually they were in a group with several smart thinkers, and even just Kris or Suho alone proved to be helpful when problem solving. But now it was just the two of them, and Chanyeol had no clue what to do.

                And it remained that way until a body press against his, and he turned to see a woman pushing through the throngs of people to his right. She was apologizing as she passed, and when she wasn’t, she was begging to be let through. From what Chanyeol could understand, she was trying to get to her son who had gotten lost, and that’s when the idea popped into Chanyeol’s mind.

                “We’ll lose him in the crowd.”

                “What was that?” Baekhyun asked to his left, leaning over to catch Chanyeol’s eye. The giant turned to the other, his grip on Baekhyun’s hand tightening.

                “If we move fast enough, we should be able to lose him among all of these people.” He re-explained, eyes darting once more over his shoulder. They were still being pursued by the looks of it, and he nervously his dry lips. “Ready, Baek? Walk a bit faster, and on the count of three, we’ll make a run for it.”

                “I’m so sorry…” Baekhyun muttered to the civilians under his breath, squeezing his eyes shut for a small moment before following Chanyeol’s increased pace. Trying to move faster didn’t exactly improve the amount of time it took for them to walk through the crowd, but they began cramming through any space that they could.

                Chanyeol began the count with a grave sounding “One.” His heart was already racing and they hadn’t even begun the running part. He was aware of Baekhyun’s fingers clamping down on his when he reached Two, and Chanyeol spared a full glance back before he finished with Three. His eyes met with those of their pursuer, and then it was broken as Baekhyun charged forward.

                Chanyeol’s arm was jerked strongly as Baekhyun hauled him onward, and Chanyeol easily matched the other’s newly set pace with his long legs. Baekhyun forced himself through even the smallest of holes, carving a way for Chanyeol to pass through, too. After they’d gained a bit of distance, Chanyeol stepped forward to take command. Now he was the one guiding Baekhyun, and he didn’t waste time apologizing to those they passed. As kind as he would like to be, he knew they didn’t have the time.

                When they finally began to near the edge of the large crowd, Chanyeol looked back over the hundreds of heads for that one specific man. He probably wouldn’t have spotted it if its face hadn’t shifted again, and a whole new set of chills ran down his spine at the hideous sight. He wondered, of all things, why it had to look so revolting, but that’s what gave him yet another idea.

                “Hey Baek.” Chanyeol puffed out, immediately receiving a muffled noise of acknowledgement. “Did you ever perfect the whole Pitch Black thing?” He went on to ask, his words breathless with lack of oxygen. Despite the fact that they weren’t actually running, he was having a difficult time breathing, and it sounded like it hit Baekhyun even worse.

                “Yeah.” The shorter teen panted, or more like gasped. “Need some time?”

                “Let’s leave unseen.” Chanyeol confirmed, and they came to a short stop in unison, Baekhyun turning his attention to the thing that was coming up a few feet away. Chanyeol waited as Baekhyun momentarily closed his eyes, and a second later, the figure that’d been following them was suddenly clutching at his face. A gargled sound left its mouth, and Chanyeol could bet he was wondering why he’d unexpectedly gone blind.

                Using this chance, the two teens sped off. With groceries still in hand, Chanyeol and Baekhyun ran at a swift pace to create as much distance as possible between them and whatever thing had been after them. It was only when the distant sight of their recent home came into view that Chanyeol slowed, looking back to make sure they had escaped. He could see no one in the surrounding area, but he only let his shoulders slump when they passed over the front doorstep minutes later.

                The large house was quiet when they entered, as it had been when they’d left. Both teens hurried to kick off their shoes, and then they immediately moved to seek out Youngjae. As usual, he’d want to hear the news, though with the events that occurred quite recently, he probably wouldn’t like it.

                Unsurprisingly, they found the young teen in an office, surrounded by high grade computers and piles of paperwork. Youngjae looked up when they entered, and the look of shock on his face had Chanyeol wondering how they appeared right then. Probably red-faced and haggard, honestly.

                “What the hell happened to you two!?”  

                There was a pause of complete silence after Youngjae’s exclamation, and then Baekhyun answered softly. “We were being stalked…” He raised a hand to his forehead, which crinkled in discomfort. Baekhyun stepped back so that he leaned against the nearest wall, and Chanyeol immediately stepped forward to put an arm around him. The shorter teen looked horrible and clearly pained. Chanyeol just hope his wounds didn’t reopen.

                “It was only a suspicion at first.” Chanyeol explained on. “This thing wasn’t human, and we were lucky the area was busy, otherwise we might’ve been followed all the way here.”

                “So, you’re saying it was an ENT?” Youngjae asked, and Chanyeol could only shudder at the thought.

                “I don’t know what it was, but it was ugly as hell.”

                Youngjae grimaced himself. “Yeah, we’re probably thinking of the same thing. They may look human on the outside, but once they let their true image slide, the nightmares begin. That’s only one way we’re different from them.”

                “What do you mean?” Chanyeol pressed curiously, his interest peaked. It wasn’t often that they learned about the enemy, or themselves in general.

                Luckily, Youngjae didn’t hesitate before answering. “Well look at you and I. We both have completely human characteristics other than our abilities. We don’t stick out from the rest of the world when it comes to appearance, and I’d say the only reason we’d be considered aliens is because we aren’t from Earth.

                “But the ENTs are different. They’re vicious and inhumane. Their planet was very similar to ours, so they possess some of the same qualities as us, but they’re evil.” Youngjae visibly shivered, wrapping his arms around himself as his gaze went dark. “It’s not often normal people see their true face, and even I have never seen their complete form. They’re ruthless monsters, which is why we can’t let them take what’s ours.”

                That last bit had Chanyeol on the edge of his metaphorical seat, his attention completely focused on a possible response to his next question. “And what is that exactly?”

                Youngjae opened his mouth as if to answer, but then he paused and closed it again at the last second. He didn’t meet Chanyeol’s eye, instead directing his attention to the bags that they’d set on his desk.

                “You’ll see soon enough…”

                Tao’s soft voice filtered through the air as a light hum, broken only by the harsh crinkling of plastic. The Chinese teen held a bag of chips in his hands, and he didn’t take a single pause in his singing even when consuming the snack. Kris wasn’t familiar with the song that seemed to be stuck in his head, but then again, he was paying hardly any attention.             

                The elder male’s mind was consumed with millions of little thoughts, many of which grew to the point where it hurt. His skull ached from overuse, his pounding head a nasty nuisance. Each pulse of his heart was a solid thump against his brain, forcing him to claw at his hair with desperation. He felt like he was going insane; the pain was so clear. And he probably would’ve sliced his own head off if Tao’s voice hadn’t brought him back to reality.

                “Kris, are you alright?”

                The soft trickle of Tao’s perfect Chinese was the thread that found its way into the deepest part of Kris’ mind, where he was trapping himself with layers and layers of thought. It was the tiny bit of white that shone in his black, and he grasped at it, letting it pull him back to the real world. The chasing thoughts still plagued the back of his mind, but simply looking at Tao’s worried face was enough to keep them at bay for just a few needed moments.

                “Kris? Can you hear me?” Tao went on to ask, and this time he reached out to take Kris’ hand, almost retracting back in shock when their skin touched. “You’re freezing! Why are you so cold?”

                Kris couldn’t give an answer as to why, but he was beginning to feel the chill. Despite the fact that April was only a day away and the sun shone brightly through the open-blinded window, he was indeed freezing.                                                  

                Tao ran out of the room in the next second, and he returned with the biggest blanket Kris had ever seen. It was huge and soft, and it was placed carefully across Kris’ shoulders, pooling around his feet on the wood floor beneath them. He opened his mouth to word his thanks, but Tao stepped forward before he had the chance. Long arms slid around Kris’ waist, and soft hair tickled his neck when Tao rested his head against his shoulder. There wasn’t a single bit of space between their bodies from Tao’s sudden act of affection, and whatever words Kris had planned to say died in his throat. It took several silent seconds of him calming his raging heartbeat before he could speak.

                “Tao… What’s this?” Was all he could manage, before Tao answered with amusement threaded in his voice.

                “What do you mean? Aren’t I allowed to hug you?”

                The Chinese male sounded so casual and confident, so nonchalant, that a blush warmed Kris’ cheeks. His body swarmed with heat now that Tao was so close, and he fed eagerly off of the other’s temperature. There was an immediate craving inside him, and he selfishly pulled Tao closer for more.

                However, a soft noise of pain left Tao’s mouth when he did so, and Kris was instantly pulling back to give him a complete look over. Tao’s eyebrows drew up with discomfort, but his expression revealed that the sound was meant to be contained. Kris widened his eyes in dismay, stepping back so there was distance between himself and Tao. He hadn’t meant to hurt the younger teen.

                “Kris, I’m fine.” Tao was quick to insist, but the elder male turned away, bring his hands around to cradle his elbows. Chills were beginning to seep back into his center against his will, and Tao’s fingers wrapped strongly around his biceps.

                “Kris! Look at me! I’m fine!” His voice rose as he pulled on Kris’ arms, and Kris let himself be moved. He turned to look at Tao as directed, and when he saw the pain in the other’s eyes, he snapped.

                “How can I believe that!? We’re anything but fine!” He shouted, hands forming fists. “Youngjae is the only one here with an ounce of concern for us, and even he isn’t able to lessen the pain of our wounds!”

                Despite his temper, Kris pulled Tao into himself with a gentle hand on his back, letting the other trail under his shirt, hovering lightly over the side wound that Kris had discovered. He didn’t dare touch it and hurt the boy again, and retreated once more. This time, he began to pace.

                “Why won’t they tell us anything, Tao?” Kris started again, his voice initially small, only to rise again. “Do they really expect us to believe that we were moved here for our own safety? What makes us so special? What about the others that were left at the base!? Where did they go!?”

                “Yifan!”

                Kris spun around to face Tao, who’d silently moved up behind him. Now they were nose to nose, and Kris stared into those fierce opposing eyes for a long moment before they both softened. Tao heaved a heavy sigh, and his long fingers rose and trailed from Kris’ hair to his neck, then down to his shoulder. The action caused Kris to shiver, but he didn’t break their gaze.

                “Are you hurting, Yifan?”

                Kris originally disliked the others using his real name, which was why he hadn’t given it to them right away in the beginning, but now it was music to his ears. He couldn’t ignore Tao’s beautiful voice, though he answered bitterly.

                “Who here isn’t?”

                “Answer me.” Tao demanded, and again, Kris couldn’t refuse.

                “I don’t know what’s wrong with me, Tao. I hurt all over…”

                “Then tell me where it hurts most and I’ll see what I can do.” Tao spoke softly and smiled up at Kris, and the mere sight weakened his knees.

                “Well… My back aches.” Kris confessed softly, causing Tao’s smile to grow.

                “There you go. That wasn’t too hard, plus I have the perfect solution. Now go lay down; standing won’t help.”

                Kris opened his mouth the reject, but the boy wasn’t taking no as an answer. As soon as the words left his mouth, he was bouncing over to the bed across their claimed bedroom, seating himself on top of the olive-green comforter. He peeled away some of the blanket, and then he gestured for Kris to follow his example.

                “Get over here. I’ll give you a massage.”

                “Tao, you’re hurt, too. You should be lying down yourself.” Kris advised, but to no avail. Tao wasn’t listening.

                “Quit worrying about me. This is why you’re in such bad shape. Now do as I say.”

                Seeing as he had no other choice, Kris heaved a sigh and walked over to the bed. It was soft and comfortable as he laid on his stomach, and his breath came out slowly when he settled his head on his arms. Tao placed the comforter over his legs for warmth, and then his hands were rubbing absently along Kris’ spine as he leaned is face in closer.

                “Feels nice, right? This is a pretty high quality mattress.”

                “I’m not going to ask how you can tell.” Kris muttered with eyes closed, shifting his body one last time before he finally let himself relax. 

                A few quite seconds passed, in which Kris could hear the soft inhale and exhale of Tao’s breathing. The boy practically radiated warmth, and the bed creaked slightly when he sat up properly. Moments later, Kris could feel the first gentle bits of pressure along his center, and he unconsciously tensed up at the first touch.

                “Kris, you gotta relax.” Tao said after another minute, and Kris puffed out a short breath.

                “But I am relaxed.”

                “Uh… No you aren’t.” Tao asserted, pressing his finger repeatedly onto Kris’ stiff shoulders. “This won’t work if you aren’t trying.”

                “I am trying, Tao! I’ve been trying this entire time but there’s nothing I can do!”

                Kris’ outburst came unexpectedly once again, and Tao’s fingers froze at the edge of Kris’ shirt collar. The elder teen’s chest felt tight and about ready to explode, and Tao’s hands rubbed soothingly into his shoulders.

                “Kris… Why don’t you try talking about it…?” Tao suggested next, his voice kind. “It may help.”

                Kris didn’t say anything in response, and Tao didn’t press him. The younger teen continued with the massage and gradually, Kris turned to goop under his fingers.

                “I’ve been trying…” He eventually repeated, his voice soft and muffled by his arm. He turned his head slightly, eyes still closed, and then continued. “I’ve tried bringing this all up to Youngjae and Sungmin in private, but they avoid the subject like the plague. Joon will hardly even look at me, so I haven’t bothered with him. I don’t know what’s happened to him, but he hasn’t cracked a smile in ages…”

                Kris paused to swallow, his saliva seeming as thick as molasses. He heaved in a breath, and it came out as a wavering shudder when he let it back out. Tao’s thumbs then dug into a knot in his shoulder, and his breath hitched, his eye twitching in the form of a wince. If Tao noticed, he didn’t say anything, so Kris went on.

                “I want to believe there’s something that I can do for us, but nothing that I do seems to work. I feel so weak and useless.” Kris confessed, and water swelled within his eyes as the words left his mouth. He blinked to keep the tears at bay, frustrated that he could barely even do that.

                “I’m supposed to be a leader, but I can’t even trust in myself. I’d be amazed if any of the others even think of me as an equal.”

                “Kris!” Tao interrupted with a gasp. “I know I said to talk, but not like this!”

                “But it’s true!” Kris went on, his hands. His voice was all over the place, but he didn’t bother keeping up a pretty image and just let the tears fall. The droplets cascaded down his cheeks, and he hid his face in his arms.

                “I let myself believe that Siwon was right—that I could be a leader—but I was stupid for doing that. I can’t even figure out why we’re in this mess to begin with!” Kris hesitated before his next sentence. “Suho is the real leader in this group…”

                All of a sudden, a striking pain seared the back of Kris’ head. The harsh smack of Tao’s hand forced his face to bounce down into the mattress painfully, and the younger boy spit out angry Chinese right in his ear.

                “Shut the hell up, Kris! You have no idea what you’re talking about!” Tao’s breathing was heavy after his quick shouting, and Kris turned to look at him from the corner of his eye. “You think we don’t look up to you? You think we don’t see you as an equal?” Tao scoffed, and he looked as if he were going to attack again. “Who else are we supposed to look up to!?” He exclaimed loudly, and Kris nearly moved to cover his ears.

                Now Tao was crying, too. Tears spilled from his eyes and he wiped at them angrily, his voice frustrated and desperate. “We look up to you so much, Kris. Can’t you see it?” He sniffed loudly, fingers rubbing at his eyes. “When we’re tired and doubtful, you’re the one who we see! You stand so tall and proud, so strong and willing, that we find the strength to follow in your steps! Suho may have more strength in a mental sense, but you give us physical strength, Kris! You’re two halves, and we can’t do anything unless you’re both there to guide us!”

                Tao’s rant had Kris rendered speechless, and the sight of the boy becoming a sobbing mess reminded Kris that Tao was only barely sixteen. They were still so young, and so much had happened that he felt years older. Seeing Tao cry and doing so himself felt so weak, yet it was completely normal. They hadn’t been prepared for any of this, but they were forced to mature into it. He hadn’t felt much of a mental difference until then, but some part of him had decided long ago that crying was a sign of weakness. It didn’t occur to him until then, how stupid that was.

                Kris propped himself up on his elbows, and then to a sitting position. Tao kneeled on the bed, hands holding his hanging head, and Kris felt a fresh wave of tears as he reached out for the younger boy. He brought Tao to his lap, and this time it was he who comforted Tao, rubbing gentle circles into his back. They settled down with Kris rocking them back and forth, and then they cried together.

                “What happened to ‘we are one’?” Tao asked, voice shaky and broken by uneven puffs of air. Kris shushed him softly and pulled him closer, breathing in the scent of his hair and watching his own tears fall onto the locks.

                “I know, I know. I need to pull myself together.” Kris admitted quietly. “No more doubting myself. I’ll be a proper leader from now on.”

                Tao shook his head against Kris’, but he didn’t pull back when he spoke. “It’s okay to have problems, Kris… You’ve done great up until now. I only want you to see that…”

                “I do.” Kris assured, bringing his hand up under Tao’s chin. He gently tilted the other’s face so that their eyes met, and his lips spread out in a small, sincere smile. “Thank you, Zitao.”

                The young teen’s eyes glistened under Kris’ stare, still wet with tears, and Kris raised his thumbs to wipe away the traces left behind on his cheeks. The faintest of giggles drifted from Tao’s mouth at the action, and when Kris lifted his wide gaze to Tao’s closed eyes, it was because he was being kissed.