Edited; Re-uploaded

                Jongdae really felt like he was getting closer to everyone. Well, it was a fact that he was, but there was one specific person that he wanted to become the closest to, and that person happened to be Xiumin.

                He didn't know if the older teen noticed his small glances, which he gave more often than he should, and he wasn't really sure if he wanted him to. Jongdae didn't even think his feelings would ever be returned, but that didn't really stop him from at least dreaming. He didn't deserve Xiumin, and the oldest was more interested in Luhan, anyway, even though he was already dating. That was plain as day.

                Jongdae only wished he could take Luhan's place in being the closest to Xiumin. Oh, how badly he wanted that spot. But for some reason, he just couldn't reach that point.

                Jongdae didn't know what was so different between them. Sure, Luhan was cute and Chinese and nice, not to mention great at practically everything, but Jongdae... wasn't any of those... and it was suddenly obvious why Luhan was more special to Xiumin.

                Jongdae sighed to himself, burying his face in his arms from where he sat curled up in an empty corner of his room.

                Jongdae wasn't anything special. He was boring and short and bony and his looks were trash compared to Luhan's--to everyone's really. He was awkward and useless, and nothing ever clicked the way things seemed to for the others.

                Tao and Kris had a fight and were together in no time. Luhan and Sehun knew each other for hardly any time at all before becoming a couple, and no one could miss the way D.O and Kai clung to each other. Not to mention Suho had been completely torn about Lay, more so than the rest of the group, so he was sure something was up, there. Jongdae could only wonder if something was going on between Baekhyun and Chanyeol, too, because he honestly wouldn't be surprised by now.

                Jongdae felt alone, especially with the way he sat at the moment, curled up in the dark. It probably wasn't helping his mood, but at the same time, it was the only thing he felt like doing. He belonged in the corner, in the empty shadows, simply watching the rest of his friends live their lives full of love. It seemed as though that was where he was always meant to be, since his own relationship wasn't working out like the others were.

                Jongdae really wished Xiumin would talk to him like he did with Luhan. They looked so comfortable together, always laughing and smiling. It seemed like Jongdae always had to go past his usual limits to get Xiumin to even remotely do the same, and it hurt. Maybe the pain was a sign that he should give up, but he just couldn't. Minseok was too perfect.

                Jongdae hugged his knees closer to his chest, sniffing loudly as he felt oncoming tears. He was pathetic in more ways than one.

                After a while, the door to his room opened. He didn't notice at first, too deep in his thoughts, but his ears were able to pick up the faint creak of the wood, which made him jerk up in surprise.

                It was Xiumin. His face was only a silhouette compared to the bright light that he let into the dark room, but Jongdae could make out his wide eyes.

                "Chen? What are you doing over there?"

                He sounded concerned, and the first thought that reached Jongdae's mind was that he had to be faking it. He almost didn't answer, but he gave in after a few silent moments.

                "Just sitting... " He mumbled, unsure if he was even heard at first.

                "That can't be all." Xiumin said, coming further into the room, leaving the door open without turning on the lights. "What are you thinking about?"

                What am I...

                Soon, the lit doorway was blocked by Xiumin's figure as the older teen stood in front of him. Jongdae had to force his eyes to stay down so that he wouldn't stare, his thoughts spinning because of the other's questions.

                Jongdae was never asked what he was thinking about. Not by Minseok or anyone else. No one cared about what he thought. He was just sitting, so why did that mean he also had to be thinking? Though, that was exactly what Jongdae had been doing, so it wasn't exactly wrong. 

                "I'm not thinking about anything." Jongdae told Xiumin. He couldn't just let him know that all of the thoughts were revolving around him. He'd probably think it was weird, anyway. Who sits in a corner for two hours thinking about a single person? He'd just be considered a creeper or something, so he stuck with a lie.

                Xiumin's expression didn't show whether he bought it or not, and Jongdae was relieved when he seemed to drop the subject. It was a wonder that the older teen had even spoken to him like this. Last time Jongdae saw him, he was heading out to play a soccer game with Luhan and some others, so he didn't expect himself to even cross Xiumin's mind.

                Wait... A sudden bout of hope flared in his chest, and Jongdae finally glanced properly at the older teen. Did he really come on his own accord...?

                Xiumin had his hands behind his back since he first walked in, and he then took the time to reveal whatever was behind his back. His next words completely destroyed any hope that Jongdae had formed, reeling in all of his previous thoughts about the teen.

                "I was told to bring you a jacket. Tonight's training starts kind of late, and they said it'll still be cold at night. We all were given one to keep."

                Jongdae returned his gaze to his knees, muttering a small "Thanks." He didn't look back up at Xiumin's face, but the boy let his jacket drop to the floor by his feet, and Jongdae suddenly felt like crying as he watched Xiumin's retreating shadow.

                He really wasn't cared about. Xiumin didn't come to see if he was okay, not originally, anyway. He only came to give him a jacket, and asking him what he was doing was just something that happened along the way. Jongdae wasn't anyone's first priority. He was just someone to talk to along the way, someone you only spoke to when spoken to, or when you're bored and there's nothing left to do.

                Just like his parents always said behind his back... He was useless. Unreliable. A boring first born son that wouldn't accomplish anything; he couldn't even get a lover.

                Minseok didn't love him, but Jongdae still couldn't stop loving him. It was hopeless.

                Kyungsoo shivered from cold despite the jacket he wore. The night was cooler than he thought it would be, and he wasn't looking forward to staying out for who knows how long. Kai stood at his side, talking to Sehun, so Kyungsoo didn't bother asking for use of his warmth, instead choosing to casually put his arms around the younger boy from behind.

                Kai stiffened a bit when Kyungsoo's arms wrapped around his waist, but he didn't stop his conversation with Sehun. Kyungsoo barely noticed the way the younger's arm tightened momentarily against his, and he smiled with his cheek resting against the back of his shoulder. It was a sign that showed that Kai acknowledged his presence with happiness, and that alone was enough to make Kyungsoo smile.

                He was a little nervous, as were the others. It was their first real session outdoors, and none of them knew what to expect. Kyungsoo tried to think of how the night would play out, but he couldn't get very far when his eyes strayed to the orange and pink sky.

                The sight of the sun setting was beautiful. He hadn't seen such a view in quite a long time, and he was content with watching the shifting colors. There were a few clouds that shared the coloring, and Kyungsoo tilted his head to look at the gradient from orange-pink to dark blue. It truly was a magnificent sight out there, so far from any large civilizations, like nothing he'd ever seen before.

                Kyungsoo was so caught up in the sight of the sky above that he didn't even realize that Kai had stopped talking to Sehun and was now calling his name to get his attention. He didn't catch the various 'Kyungsoo's and 'D.O's until Kai murmured a very firm 'Soo' right in his ear.

                Kyungsoo jerked a little in surprise and turned slightly so that he could look at Kai's turned head. Their faces were mere inches apart, and Kai's breath billowed slightly in front of him as he breathed. "You okay, Soo?"

                Kyungsoo nodded, his lips twitching up in a small smile. "Everything's fine. Just a little cold."

                Kai's eyes glanced down for a moment, and Kyungsoo felt warm hands on his before their eyes met again. "I'm cold, too."

                Kyungsoo's smile broadened and he shrugged. "You're warm to me."

                There was a minute of silence between them, with the sounds of their friends' idle speaking in the background. Kyungsoo didn't say anything more. Kai was rubbing a gentle finger against his hand as if he was thinking, and he didn't want to disrupt the other's thoughts. It was still another minute or two before he actually spoke again.

                "How are you feeling?" Kai asked softly, almost in a whisper. Kyungsoo had a feeling he knew what the other was asking about, but he wanted to make sure first, before he answered with a completely wrong subject in mind.

                "About what?"

                Kai was silent again, and it seemed that he didn't really want to bring it up. Kyungsoo was more sure now about the subject, but he still waited for Kai to gather himself.

                "Your powers..." He finally murmured. "What if you need to use them?"

                Kyungsoo was right. With how hesitant Kai was, it wasn't that hard to guess what he was going to ask, and he answered honestly.

                "I'm getting better." He said, letting his eyes unfocus a bit as he stared sideways at the ground, breaking eye contact. "Taehyun and the instructors have helped me a lot, so I think I can control it better now."

                That was the truth. Kyungsoo spent a lot of time with Taehyun, doing daily trainings with him and his dolls. It was much better than sparring with real people, and it made him feel better knowing that no one would get hurt. Which was a good thing, because he'd destroyed a lot of those dolls in the beginning.

                Taehyun would push him to his limits daily. It scared Kyungsoo to tempt the Beast, but he knew it was to help gain control. And it worked, too. It wasn't long before Kyungsoo felt the dark, violent heat of the Beast less and less often. His sparring lengths lasted longer, and he had soon been able to incorporate his strength into various fighting moves. Punches, kicks, throws; he had learned to use his strength in combat without losing control, using special weighted dolls for practice.

                Kyungsoo was confident with his powers now, but that didn't erase his fears completely. He knew there were situations where the Beast could break loose. He learned that emotions—anger in particular—had a lot to do with it. As Sungmin had put it, the Beast fed off his anger and other strong emotions. The only problem they faced, was that they didn't have anything to tame the Beast with. They didn't dare bring him out to find out, and Kyungsoo would've refused anyway, so they had no way of knowing for sure what could stop it. That was what Kyungsoo feared most.

                As a child, Kyungsoo was sure he passed out afterwards. It was his first transformation, so his small body didn't last long. He was sure that is what had happened, but now things were different. Kyungsoo was physically and mentally stronger, more so physically. He attended the weight room with Xiumin often, though that really wasn't necessary to an extent. It made him feel a bit more secure, though, so he continued, even if it was just to keep his friend company.

                Kyungsoo couldn't say he wasn't scared to hear what they had to do that night. He would probably always be scared, but he knew they wouldn't get put through too much, seeing as it was their first of these sessions. He just had to wait and see, hoping for the best.

                Kai seemed relieved to hear Kyungsoo's positive answer, and a large exhale could be heard from the younger boy. "That's good. I'm glad."

                Kyungsoo swallowed and let his grip on the boy's waist loosen a bit, not that it was tight to begin with. "Jongin..." His voice stopped before he could go further, and he heard Kai's soft hum, urging him to go on. He swallowed again, then forced the words out. "Are you scared of me?"

                Kai went a bit rigid under his arms, and Kyungsoo feared that he was right, but then the teen twisted in his arms so that they were facing each other. Kyungsoo's hands remained locked around the other's lower back, and he gazed up with wide eyes while Kai simply blinked slowly, his gaze somewhat serious.

                "I'm not." He said firmly, his eyes seeming to stare into Kyungsoo's soul. The older teen felt somewhat vulnerable under the other's strong gaze, and the fact that Kai towered over him didn't help.

                Kyungsoo wanted to ask him why. Why wasn't he scared? Why was he sticking around? Why was he making Kyungsoo feel so cared for, so loved? Why did Kai make him feel both safe and fearful at once? Why did he make his knees go weak, when he was always the strong one?

                Kyungsoo had so many questions, but Kai was speaking again before he could get a single word out.

                "I don't fear you, Soo, but instead, I'm scared that you will be the one in fear."

                What? That didn't exactly make sense in Kyungsoo's mind, but Kai wasn't done yet.

                "I sort of know what you fear, and I hope that someday you won't have to feel like this. One day, I want to be able to see you walk freely, without any worries." Kai paused to give Kyungsoo a sincere smile that had his body filling with warmth. The cold night air, along with their surroundings, were forgotten for that small moment as Kyungsoo stared up at Kai, their gazes locked. "I don't want you to be afraid, and I'm looking forward to the day when I can see you completely happy and carefree."

                Kyungsoo wasn't sure how long it would take him to get over his fear, but it seemed like a few more years at least would do the trick. And the fact that Kai basically said he would stick around until then made his cheeks burn. He had to force himself to look down, and then his head was practically resting on the other's shoulder. He didn't know what to say, but his mind was swirling with unspoken emotions that wanted to break out on their own.

                "Jongin, I—"

                "Alright, everyone!" Joon's voice suddenly rang out to cut Kyungsoo off, and all attention was immediately directed at him. A part of Kyungsoo cursed the instructor's timing, but he pushed those thoughts away to focus on what they were going to be told. It was about time they got started for the night, for the sky was almost completely black by then, only a sliver of orange peeking out over the horizon.                                                                          

                The twelve boys formed two staggered lines in front of Joon. He was the only one present today, and his usually serious attitude was gone. There was a smile on his face, which they didn't see often when they were training, so it intrigued them all.

                "I'm sure you guys will be happy with tonight's session." Joon started, still smiling as he spoke. Even his voice was different. "It's fairly easy, and you should all know how to play."

                Play? The words stuck out, and Kyungsoo tilted his head as Joon gave a larger grin.

                "Tonight, you'll be playing hide and seek!"

                Crickets. Kyungsoo heard actual crickets in the silence that followed, and he stared dumbly at their instructor. You've got to be kidding me...

                "Um, excuse me?" Suho was raising his hand as if he were at school, waiting for the teacher to call on him. "How is this game training?"

                Joon's face turned a bit mysterious and shadowed, his lips forming a sly smile. "Like Sungmin and I told you before, the point of these exercises is to use your powers to your advantage. Do anything you can to win without hurting anyone, since this is only training, after all."

                Kyungsoo held in a scoff. He'd gotten plenty of bruises from his training.

                "Depending on how long the first game lasts, we may do another." Joon continued. "We'll just have to see how well you can use your abilities in the open. If you get found, come to the fire I make, and then we'll discuss your punishment."

                Joon's eyes had a mischievous glint to them, but that might've just been from the flashlight he held. He pointed the bright thing at each of them in turn, and Kyungsoo shielded his eyes when it reached him, then moved on to someone else.

                "Luhan will be It, so the rest of you can form a circle around him, facing out." The instructor ordered. "Luhan, close your eyes. You will count to fifty before opening them, and then you will be free to search. That should give the others plenty of time to find a decent hiding spot."

                The twelve boys did as they were told, and Kyungsoo glanced into the circle to see that Luhan's eyes were already shut. The flashlight lingered on them, but then it was abruptly shut off. And at that same moment, they could all hear Joon shouting "Go!"

                "One..."

                The other eleven boys sprinted from the spot when Luhan began counting. Kyungsoo couldn't see a thing, but then he noticed light coming from somewhere ahead. It was small, but bright, and it outlined a large figure. Chanyeol...

                "Stay inside the markers!" Joon's voice rang out. "You can't miss them!"

                Kyungsoo was about to ask what the instructor meant, when a solid beam suddenly rammed into his gut. He doubled over on the grass, and by the sound of things around him, the others did the same thing. Kyungsoo couldn't see very well, but he assumed there was some sort of fence like structure set up, so he turned back and retraced his steps.

                Kyungsoo could faintly hear Luhan reaching fifteen, and he whipped his head around to try to find a hiding spot. It was unbelievable dark by now, but there was another light in the distance that he could see past the surrounding trees. Joon had started the fire like he said, and a tiny bit of light was given.

                Around him, Kyungsoo was able to see the faint outline of large bushes and trees all around. Every step he took snapped a twig or a dead leaf, and he could hear the other's moving around him. The given area was actually quite small, but there were still places the firelight didn't reach, so Kyungsoo tried to find the farthest spot with light.

                Luhan was already on thirty, so Kyungsoo knew he had to hurry. He was glad Luhan didn't use light like Baekhyun or Chanyeol, and he hoped choosing a hiding place near darkness would help. His powers weren't of much use in this instance, so he had to rely on his other strategy tactics.

                Kyungsoo crouched along the ground as he heard Luhan steadily counting higher. The older teen was almost at fifty, and Kyungsoo still couldn't find a suitable hiding place. He had no idea where the others were, and he crouched behind a bush as he looked around for anything useful.

                That was when two large hands grabbed him from behind, one covering his mouth to muffle his yell as he was yanked back. Panic and fear swept through Kyungsoo, and he struggled against the hands, trying to break free.

                "Holy crap, D.O! It's just me!" A deep voice whisper-yelled.

                Kyungsoo stopped in his struggling and turned his head around to try to get a look at Kris' face, but it was covered in shadows. He felt the other's bony frame beneath him, and dirt showered over them when he tried to move.

                "Don't move." Kris whispered from behind, his large hands coming to rest lightly on Kyungsoo's arms. "The dirt under this tree was dug out, but it might not be that stable. It's a little cramped, sorry, but I don't exactly want to know what this punishment will be, and I'm sure you don't, either."

                Luhan's voice rang out, signaling he'd reached fifty and he was coming to find them, so Kris' voice went even lower.

                "Unless you want to get found, I'd stay here and deal with the position. I wasn't sure if you found a hiding spot, sorry."

                Kyungsoo shook his head, giving Kris a smile that he probably couldn't see. "Thanks." He whispered back, then keeping quiet so that they wouldn't be found.

                Kris' breathing was soft in Kyungsoo's ear, and he blocked it out as he tried to figure out if anything else was going on. It was dark from what he could see between the tree roots, but there was faint rustling and snapping every now and then. At one point, Kyungsoo heard a soft crackle, or a sizzle, but then it was gone.

                Kyungsoo's heart was pounding for some reason. He was sure it was from anticipation or fear of getting found. The game was starting to seem really intense for some reason, as if they were seriously hiding for their lives.

                "It will consist of various exercises and drills, and will focus more on possible situations that you may come across in the future. It is to prepare you for the real world, because there is more to it now than you have ever known before."

                Siwon's words echoed in Kyungsoo's mind, and he realized that he was supposed to feel that way. He was supposed to feel as though he was hiding for his survival, because he may have to do so in the future. Joon was preparing them for when that time came, giving them the chance to learn how to use their powers as an advantage just in case.

                This realization gave a new sense of thrill to the simple game that they were playing, and he wanted to ask Kris his opinion, when there was sudden rustling above them. Kyungsoo froze, not having known that there was anyone above them, and Kris did the same. They could make out the faint creaking of tree branches, and then two voices drifted down.

                "That was close... Luhan almost got us, there."

                "Good thing your speed has increased, then. We would've been the first ones out."

                Something in Kyungsoo's chest constricted when he recognized Kai and Sehun's voices. Why were they together? Kai obviously teleported them from one spot to another, and Kyungsoo suddenly wondered why he chose Sehun.

                Why not me...?

                Kyungsoo furrowed his brows and tried to listen in on them, but they were gone again, unless they were just keeping quiet.

                Kyungsoo couldn't see why Kai didn't help him first. Wasn't he the one to say that he'd stick around? What if they were in a real life or death situation? Would Kai choose Sehun over him?

                Kyungsoo nearly gasped, but he held it in, instead covering his mouth as if he hadn't. He couldn't imagine Kai doing that. Kyungsoo thought he was special in Kai's eyes, though he could've just been imagining it. Kai seemed willing to help him before, but now he was hanging with Sehun instead of him. Was it a sign?

                Kyungsoo clenched his fists at his side, his insides bubbling with anger, jealousy, and the tiniest bit of what he thought was possessiveness. Jongin is mine. Sehun already has Luhan. He doesn't need Jongin, too. Jongin only needs me. 

                There was another crackling sound all of a sudden, and a small shot of electricity appeared to distract Kyungsoo. It bounced around the ground in front of him, and his feet were illuminated for a moment. He tucked them closer to his body, and his back was pressed close against Kris' chest in the process.

                "Found you, Chen!" Luhan shouted from nearby. "Your distraction didn't work on me!"

                Kyungsoo froze. They were close.

                "Remember: once you are found, you are not allowed to help Luhan. Come to me, Chen." Joon's voice came next, and Kyungsoo swallowed thickly. If anyone was to be found next, it would probably be them.

                Kyungsoo froze against Kris' body, and he could hardly feel the movement of the larger teen's chest. It didn't seem likely that they'd be found easily, since they were down in a hole, but the footsteps growing nearer said otherwise. A faint shadow appeared beside them, but it soon blended in with the surrounding darkness, so Kyungsoo wasn't sure if Luhan was nearby anymore.

                A few seconds passed, consisting of the two holding their breaths, and then the snapping and rustling grew father away. Kyungsoo let out a shaky breath in relief, but then an arm grabbed his leg out of nowhere and he let out a scream.

                Kyungsoo clung onto Kris in surprise, and he could make out Luhan's laughter amidst his own yelling. His body went warm in embarrassment for yelling so loud, and he saw the silhouette of Luhan's head in the entrance to the hole. He usually didn't fear sudden limb grabbing and those sort of things, but he really wasn't prepared for Luhan to suddenly be there.

                "You thought I left, didn't you?" Luhan asked, a grin evident with the way he spoke. "Telekinesis really comes in handy for fooling people." Luhan paused. "Is that someone else in there?"

                Kyungsoo actually thought about lying for Kris' sake, but the older teen shifted forward a bit before he could say anything. "Yeah, I am."

                Luhan laughed again in victory. "Two in one! A nice deal if I do say so myself." Luhan gave a softer laugh as Kyungsoo climbed out of the hole. The opening was actually fairly big, since Kris was the first to fit, though it was well shielded from the outside. Well, it had seemed that way, but apparently not.

                Kyungsoo and Kris returned to the fire together to see Chen sitting with his knees to his chest on a thick blanket. The ground was still a little wet, and Kyungsoo then realized how messy he and Kris were. Their entire bodies were covered in dry mud, and they ended up just sitting on the bare floor instead of dirtying another blanket, since it wouldn't make much of a difference. They needed showers either way.

                Now that they were back in the open again, Kyungsoo began to feel the chill of the night breeze. Kris was kind enough to act as a sort of shield, and he nearly fell asleep against the other's shoulder while the game continued on.

                It was late by the time they finished, and even then, Joon had to force the last person out of hiding. Baekhyun was a little too excited when he gave a ridiculous victory dance, and Kyungsoo had to wonder if he was ever embarrassed by himself. He'd put up an illusion for the entire game, apparently, so even the evading Kai and Sehun duo were found before him. The others had all been found not long after Kyungsoo and Kris, and they all headed inside once Joon called Baekhyun out.

                Kyungsoo was exhausted by the time he trudged up to his room and took a shower. It wasn't like he was worn out physically, he was just tired. And cold. So when he finished his shower, he was quick to join Kai in the warmth of their bed.

                Kyungsoo settled down next to Kai and immediately felt his body relax. The bed absorbed his exhaustion almost instantly, pulling on it so that he'd sleep, and he was all too willing. Kyungsoo gave Kai one final glance through the dark, and then he drifted off with faint thoughts of He's mine and No sharing floating through his head.

Man, I've been doing my best to fix the transition of this Xiuchen but I still hate it.