Soyeon:"can we talk later?" she blurts out making Jiyeon pauses, feeling how her heart pounds.

Jiyeon:"talk about what?"

Soyeon:"about you"

Jiyeon:"me? why?"

Soyeon:"let's get in to your car first" 

 

Jiyeon pauses. Did she notice something on me? Why is she acting like this so sudden?

 

I walked slowly towards my car. Feeling guilty towards myself. Why am i feeling guilty now? What did i do? And whats with Soyeon all of a sudden? Don't tell me she knows..

 

Soyeon went in first, slowly fastening her seatbelt while gently closed the door to not let Boram wake up. Jiyeon on the other hand followed, trying to start the engine then checks on the side mirror.

 

Soyeon:"whats your problem?" she ask directly

Jiyeon:"i just said nothing right?"

Soyeon:"don't fool me Jiyeon" she sighs "i know you very well" she then added

 

What now? Should i just tell her?

 

Soyeon:"jiyeon?"

 

At least, to have some shoulders to lean on, right? 

 

Jiyeon:"I..." she starts

 

But she might wont believe me for what will i say. Will she believe me? She's my cousin, and i knew her for too long. Soyeon unnie will act like she doesn't care at all and make you feel like not that important to her, that she will just try to pester you...but..but will she believe me after?

 

Jiyeon:"I..."

Soyeon:"you what?" she ask again, and this time she tapped Jiyeon's shoulder "tell me whats wrong"

 

I stared at her. Then i looked down again, seeing how her eyes get sincere and how her expression getting serious. I took a deep breath, gaining confidence for me to let this out. The secret i kept for too long, the love what i desire the most and the pain i embraced alone, im trying to let  this thing go. just this once..yeah just this once..

 

Jiyeon:"promise me you'll never tell anyone" she then turns her head to Soyeon, making her pinky finger raised

Soyeon:"yah whats with that? your not a kid anymore" she complaints

Jiyeon:"just do it, or i will never tell you what happened to me.."

 

Soyeon closed her eyes then letting out a big sigh. Trying to faced Jiyeon and do as she wishes.

 

Soyeon:"fine then.."

Jiyeon:"pinky promise?"

Soyeon:"yep~" she winks "now tell me what happened to you.."

 

 

 

 

Jiyeon:"i have someone in my heart" she starts

Soyeon:"that doesnt makes any sense! of course you do, thats why you married him.." she replied

Jiyeon:"can you please just listen to me? im not finish yet" she pouts

Soyeon:"sorry then... go on"

Jiyeon:"i mean i have someone else in my heart..and i've been loving him for too long already" she added

Soyeon:"for too long already?!" she ask widening her eyes

Jiyeon:"yes" she responded

Soyeon:"you.." she sigh again "just let me ask one question"

Jiyeon:"sure"

Soyeon:"do you even love your husband? i mean before you get married?"

 

Im trying to but i just cant. I cant love him back, i cant. I really cant.

 

Jiyeon:"i don't" she replied meekly

Soyeon:"then why the heck did you married him?" she blurts out again, controling her voice not to let it loud

Jiyeon:"i don't know.... ok. that's why i hate what i got right now."

Soyeon:"being bitter huh? how about him? Eunjung?"

Jiyeon:"he knows anyway"

Soyeon:"WHAT?!!" she was shock that make her shouts

 

 

Boram cried for she got awake with her mother's loud voice. Soyeon tries to pat her back for her to sleep again.

Soyeon:"shhh..im sorry baby" she pouts then cuddled her

 

She calms as Boram did fell asleep again. She then gave Jiyeon a deadly look for she can't believe what she had just shared to her today.

 

Soyeon:"you are really....really mean Jiyeon" she starts again "im not going to tell you this because i sympathize Eunjung, but instead im going to, because you are freaking hurting yourself" she then added.

 

Jiyeon didn't respond, she just let Soyeon be whose talking nonstop. Is she trying to give me an advice or just trying to scold me for being like this? This is not helping at all.

 

Soyeon:"ok..." she sigh again, making herself to calm down "so whose that someone else?"

 

 

 

 

Jiyeon:"Hyomin..."

 

Soyeon widened her eyes, slowly opening while looking at Jiyeon. A couple of seconds of silence, Soyeon cleared after then let out a hopeless sigh again. 

 

Soyeon:"y-you love him?" she ask again as to make herself clear cuz for her, its too vivid.

Jiyeon:"Hyomin oppa, i love him...really a lot" she then replied

Soyeon:"you never tell me bef-"

Jiyeon:"i know, i know i shouldnt feel like this..but what can i do?" she pipes in, facing Soyeon

Soyeon:"let him go" she advice

Jiyeon:"i cant unnie"

Soyeon:"forget everything about him..loving was never a mistake but for you it is, in your current state"

Jiyeon:"easy for you to say..." she hit the brakes of the car  "i tried my best to forget him, i married eunjung just in case i can to, but i cant...especially his here right now" then added

 

 

Soyeon:"that's so wrong of you" she spoke out, tilting her head

Jiyeon:"yeah i know"

Soyeon:"you shouldnt used other people to forget someone" she then added

 

Jiyeon kept on silent while driving her car. She's right, she should have just not let anyone involve with her own problem. Eunjung must be hurt for this, he is, and i wanted to say sorry to him like hundred times. I should have just let myself forget everything about Hyomin before stepping forward with a new life with someone. Maybe i should have just healed myself first for my own sake, for me to have at least a peaceful mind. Maybe i was just then mad at him, that i want to forget him instantly, that i thought i can with Eunjung alone, but sadly i cant. Because i wont, and i wont forget everything that makes me smile because of him.

 

Soyeon:"this is a big problem"

 

I went back home after ditching from Soyeon's house. I told her i can't go to dinner with them tonight, for i have some appointment with my husband. I took a shower, not giving too much attention to the time for i want to think alone. I just want to be alone right now, with myself alone. I want to settle everything, i want to decide whats right and i want my decision to be a helpful one. I just wanted to have a lovable life, why is it so hard to aim it? 

 

 

I should have just think before doing something.

 

I shouldnt done everything before everything was fine then.

 

And now it makes me sick

 

 

I sat in front of my mirror, putting on some light make up then my favourite heart-shaped peircing-- which Hyomin gave to me in my 18th birthday. I smiled, remembering how he put this on me with his kind and innocent look before. I cried because this time, his not the one doing it and I cried because it does hurt me so much until now.  How do i get better? When all i have and all i got was our memories together?

 

Eunjung and I went to a nice and peaceful restaurant. He really did prepared this for us, red petals all over the ground while I saw the table with light purple curtain design on it. Candles where place each side then the meals being taking care of with the waiters. I sat on when Eunjung told me to. He smiled at me with his innocent eyes. I smiled back but not that too long.

 

Eunjung:"is it great?" he asked

Jiyeon:"uh" she nods

Eunjung:"i ordered the meals you love the most" then giggled

Jiyeon:"thank you"

 

Eunjung poured some wine on the glass then hands me some. He then starts to eat while I, was just kept on staring at the beef steak in front of me. Does it even necessary for me to have those things in front of me that connects about him? that makes me think about him? Should i take some painkillers for me to get numb again? or should i just end my life for everything, like will going to end?

 

Eunjung:"so" he starts "can i ask what level am i right now?"

 

Jiyeon cut her thoughts by Eunjung's question. How do i say this?

 

Eunjung:"you should tell me, so that i can let myself improve for you to love me back" he then added

 

Jiyeon:"eunjung..."

Eunjung:"hmm?"

 

Tears flows from my eyes. I cant take this any longer. Looking at him saying those words, with his optimistic look makes me think how bad i am doing this to him? How bad i am dare to cheat on him by feelings? How bad wife i am for him? How bad i am for everything?

 

Eunjung:"whats wrong?" he asked, stands up then took a few steps towards her

Jiyeon:"im sorry.." she apologies

 

Eunjung patted her back with his worried and frustrated expression. Because he knows what she means, and he knows what will Jiyeon speak up this time. 

 

Eunjung:"its okay, did i promise before that i'll do my best for you to forg---"

 

 

Jiyeon:"i cant eunjung i cant" she pipes in

 

 

Eunjung:"jiyeon..."

 

 

 

 

 

Jiyeon:"im sorry" she sobs, wiping her tears "i can't forget him, i really can't"

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drama x(  sorry for this dramatic chapter lol and next chapter will be a drama too xD but please anticipate it, because ...like.... just wait for the next chapter xD thank you for reading <3