19.01.2015-23.01.2015

I didn't mention a word of what I felt to dimple boy and interacted with him as per normal. I felt extremely guilty for dragging this out and causing pain to the both of us, but I couldn't bear to tell him the truth.

What do I actually feel for him? Is it love, or is it just me deceiving myself?

Dimple boy didn't come to work today, so I couldn't tell him anything. When is really the right time?

I never ever get the chance to say something I really need to say.

When is dimple boy coming back?

I told Kai about all my feelings and thoughts that I’ve been bottling up for the past few weeks, and I didn't expect those words to be coming from him but this was indeed what he said.

I quote, “You don't actually love Lay-hyung, what you’re doing now is finding the similarities he has with Kyungsoo-hyung, and drowning yourself in those traits. So Lay-hyung is just a temporary substitute for who your heart truly belongs to.”

This boy is getting more mature by the day.

I was going to tell dimple boy how I really felt, but he didn't show up for work today again. I didn't want to talk to him through the phone as I felt that it would be insincere of me to break up through a text message or a call. I was more than prepared, but now that he didn't show up, I don't know if I’ll ever have as much courage as I had today to confess.