Sungjong had no idea when he had fallen asleep. Last thing he remembered was staring at Minho’s peaceful face and his arms around him followed by a cozy, warm feeling in his stomach. Maybe he was more exhausted than he’d thought he was.

When he opened his eyes, he could feel his lax limbs, as if he had been in that position for a long time.  The position he was in could be scandalous, if taken out of context. He was in Minho’s bed, his arms around him, their legs tangled together. As far as he could tell, the executive editor was sound asleep. He wasn’t sure how long they had stayed like that …. Should he be worried?

Exhaling deeply, he extricated himself from the clasp of Minho’s limbs and slipped out from under the covers, ensuring not to wake the other man. As silently as he could, he tiptoed out of the room, taking one last glance at the sleeping editor’s face. Back in the living room, he quickly put on his shoes. It was almost 8 pm and he knew he had overstayed at his boss’ flat according to social norms. Feeling sheepish, he opened the door, ready to show himself out, when he found himself face to face with the last person he had been expecting at this moment – the other executive editor.

Stumped by the man’s presence at the doorstep, Sungjong forgot to greet him. When he had regained conscious thought, he bowed low, muttering a greeting. Sunggyu must have come to check on Minho since he hadn’t been to the office today. Even though he didn’t know exactly on what terms the two executive editors were, he was sure Sunggyu would be naturally worried about his colleague.

However, his presence at Minho’s apartment wasn’t something he could explain to the elder so lowering his head, he tried to get past the man as quickly as possible, when his voice stopped him.

“Wait a minute, Sungjong.”

He paused obediently, turning around to face the man. He didn’t dare look him in the eyes. Even though he hadn’t had that many interactions with the executive editor, something about his demeanor told him that he was very strict and professional. There was no way he would approve of this, whatever it was going on between him and Minho.

“What brings you here?” Sunggyu didn’t sound angry, but there was a strange tone to his voice, one Sungjong couldn’t quite place. It wasn’t approving, definitely not approving, but it wasn’t strictly disapproving either.

“Sir- I- Minho hyung – I mean Mr. Minho asked me to see him about the photo shoot-” He had always been bad at lying, especially in situations like this.

“Oh, so you two talked business, did you?”

Sungjong gulped, feeling his heart thump loudly in his chest. The sarcasm was heavy in the editor’s voice. How could he lie his way through this? He dared not say another lie with the way Sunggyu was staring at him with a piercing glare.

“No – he – we…” he stuttered, trying to find the right thing to say. He wished Minho would wake up and save him from Sunggyu’s interrogation. Not only was he highly uncomfortable, he was also worried about what kind of impression he might have made on the executive editor and yet, he couldn’t clear the confusion or get his story straight. It wasn’t his fault he was here, it had been an order.

Why do I have to get tongue tied now of all times?

Cocking his head to one side, Sunggyu said softly, “You know what, I understand. I heard you were quite the player back at college. I understand why you’d target Myungsoo and his brother, and Minho…the question is,” he took a few steps towards the trembling young man, his hands in his pockets. “Am I next on your list?”

His mouth fell open – he couldn’t believe his ears. A million questions popped up in his mind, disorienting him momentarily. Did Sunggyu really believe the rumours about him as well? But how did he know that he had any connection with Myungsoo and Munsoo? How long had he known all this and why was he choosing to confront him now, of all times?

Placing a finger under Sungjong’s chin, Sunggyu tilted his head up, bringing his face too close to his. There was a smirk playing on his lips and a sly glint in his eyes, an expression Sungjong had never seen on his face. It was like he was standing in front of a completely different person, someone he couldn’t have imagined hiding behind the executive editor’s cool mask.

“Because I wouldn’t mind being seduced by you – two can play at that game. We can have a little action behind the scene, I’m sure Myungsoo wouldn’t mind.” He bit his lips, leering at him as Sungjong felt his throat constrict painfully. There were hot, angry tears in his eyes but he refused to cry in front of him, not after the vile things he had accused him of. He would not give the man the satisfaction of witnessing his weak side, not after he had suggested that Sungjong couldn’t help himself around men.

With a twist in his stomach, he felt Sunggyu moving even closer to him so that he could feel his breath on his cheeks. He wanted to run out of the room, away from him, but his legs wouldn’t move, and Sunggyu wasn’t done yet.

“No, Myungsoo won’t, not after you broke his itsy bitsy little heart. Poor Myungsoo, he hates your existence. And he doesn’t even know about your colorful college history. The rumors didn’t reach him yet, unfortunately.”

He wanted to scream at him, tell him to stop but not a single sound escaped his throat.

Suddenly, there was a change in Sunggyu’s eyes and the smirk vanished from his lips. He uttered the next few sentences in a grating voice. “Now listen carefully, you dirty little , Myungsoo is getting married to Jiyeon and none of your tricks can stop it, do you understand? Forget the Myungsoo you knew eight years ago. Play with your boy toys all you want but don’t you dare come near Myungsoo.”

Sunggyu’s fingers were wrapped around his cheeks, digging into the muscles painfully. He had never imagined the executive editor could be so vulgar and he felt his knees shake vigorously. Their paths had never crossed before and what he had seen of him during the meetings had not prepared him for this personality.

And besides, how was he aware of what had happened between him and Myungsoo eight years ago? Did Myungsoo confide in him? That had to be it.

Maybe he thinks he’s protecting his friend from me.

But it wasn’t fair – he had made no move on Myungsoo ever since he had admitted his feelings to the man in a drunken blur. Did Myungsoo feel that he was making advances? Sunggyu’s threat didn’t make any sense – he was as far away from Myungsoo as possible in terms of their hearts.

We – there is no we…it will never happen.

“I’ll be keeping an eye on you, Lee Sungjong.” Sunggyu finally released him from his grip.

Grateful to get away from the man, Sungjong almost ran to the door, through the corridor, and into the elevator. His thoughts were in disarray and his emotions were all over the place.

Did Myungsoo really accuse me of seducing him?

He didn’t want to believe that Myungsoo was behind Sunggyu’s threats but if he had trusted the executive editor enough to tell him about the past…

Distraught and overwhelmed, he hadn’t noticed where he was going until at the main entrance, he bumped into Hyunshik, who was probably returning to the apartment, having stayed away for hours. He didn’t miss the tears in Sungjong’s eyes and even though the younger had tried to avoid talking to him, he stopped him, taking him by the shoulders.

“Sungjong, are you alright?” he asked in a concerned voice, trying to catch his eyes.

Sungjong lowered his head, biting his lips to stop the crying.

“Yeah, I have to go, I’m sorry-”

“Did Minho do something?” Hyunshik asked sternly, not relenting his grasp on the younger.

This was the second time he was being held in a place against his wish and he had no strength to overcome it.

“Please, I have to go,” he pleaded, raising his head and meeting the elder’s eyes.

Hyunshik let him go immediately, looking apologetic.

“You can tell me Sungjong, if it’s about Minho, I’ll understand…”

He only shook his head.

“Are you going to be like this? You never even told me why we broke up, why you dumped me, and now…I’m just trying to help you-”

“It’s not about us!” Sungjong screamed, surprising himself. He was exhausted and he wanted nothing better than to go home and sleep. Life isn’t easy – he got it, but why did his life have to be this complex? It was as if everything and everyone was against him. Was it his fault? Was he making all the wrong decisions?

Right now, he knew he had hurt Hyunshik by saying something insensitive – it’s not about us. This was his fault.

“I-I’m sorry,” he said, lowering his voice.

Taking a few steps backwards, Hyunshik said in a soft voice, “Don’t worry, it never was.”

So this how the past comes back to haunt you.

The pain in Hyunshik’s eyes had been real. After all this time, the elder hadn’t forgotten how he had been treated by Sungjong. Or maybe he had forgotten, but seeing him again had stirred up the agonizing memories. How many people had Sungjong hurt like that? He had no idea, but he was certain it wouldn’t be only a couple. Myungsoo, of course, topped the list – he had gotten the worst brunt of Sungjong’s vanity and idiocy. His had been the first heart he had broken, but there were others after him, like Hyunshik.

And the worst part was, even if he wanted to find everyone and apologise to them, he wouldn’t be able to because he didn’t remember them.

I’m a horrible human being.

But he had paid for it in tears, in heartache, in pain he didn’t know he was capable of feeling. Was that not enough? The worst punishment for him was to fall in love with Myungsoo, and be so close to him while feeling the gaping distance between them.

It seemed liked his misfortunes knew no end. Even though he had reformed himself, no one had forgiven him.

It was too overwhelming for him to bear all alone but there was no one he could think of to bear the pain with. His friends were all busy, working or looking for jobs. There had been a time when he had been close to his brother but it was not like that anymore. The only person he could think of at the moment was Sungyeol. Granted, they weren’t close enough for him to go crying to him and spilling his entire story but he was the only person who probably wouldn’t judge him if he did.

Dialing his number, he held the phone close to his face, fidgeting with his fingers. When the call was received, he blurted out, “Where are you? Can I talk to you for a bit? It’s kind of important.”

Even if Sungyeol was surprised, he couldn’t tell by his voice.

“Where are you Sungjong? I’ll come to you.”

He informed him where they should meet, then thanked him. There was a café near to where he was standing and he took refuge there, ordering a coffee. It was late but he needed some caffeine to hold him together.

Sungyeol was there in forty minutes. He was dressed casually and Sungjong could tell he had hurried by the wrongly done buttons of his shirt.

“Hey, what’s going on?” he asked softly, concern clouding his eyes as he took a seat opposite to him.

“I just needed someone…I wanted to see if I have just one person who would…” he couldn’t continue. Breaking into tears, he hid face in his hands. He felt Sungyeol’s hand on his shoulder.

“Hey, don’t cry. I will be your person, no question asked, okay? Just tell me what’s wrong.”

It was the first time he had told anyone about what had happened between him and Myungsoo, but he took care not to mention the chief editor by name. As much as he had decided to trust Sungyeol, he couldn’t bring himself to confess to his friend that the man responsible for all his pain was so close to him. So instead he spoke as if he had recently met the man from his past and fallen in love with him, confessed and got rejected. If Sungyeol was really sharp he would realize that there was something he was not telling him, especially since with his busy schedule, it was so difficult to meet and fall in love with anyone not at work. Even if he had noticed, he didn’t ask him to clarify.

Sungyeol was a good listener – he heard him out without interruption and large reactions that would have made Sungjong rethink his decisions. As he spoke, he found that he felt slightly lighter than before. Maybe he had held everything too close to his heart for too long, not confiding in anyone.

But I don’t want to burden my friends with my worries, it’s my fault anyway, why do they have to go through it as well?

“Sungyeol hyung, you loved me, right?” he suddenly asked, catching the other by surprise. Before he could reply, he explained, “You got over me, how did you do it? I need to know because I can’t take this anymore.”

The other man looked uncomfortable as he shifted in his chair, bringing his hands together and biting his lips.

“I don’t think I can explain, Sungjong. It’s just…you just move on. You’ll find someone who will make moving on feel worth it, I promise.”

He had no trouble believing Sungyeol’s words but he wondered who that person could be and how long it would take. The best thing he could do now was wait; yet, all he could think about was walking up to Myungsoo and shouting in his face, “You idiot, I love you! How do I have to say it to make you believe me?”

But Sunggyu had said that Myungsoo didn’t care about him anymore, and he was right. No one forced him to get engaged to Jiyeon and yet he had, because he loved her. She had taken the place he had in his life. If he went after Myungsoo now, it would be a cruel thing to do – he couldn’t break apart the two lovers.

What makes you think you can do it anyway?

Despite what he wished, he had lost all power over Myungsoo and instead, he was under the man’s mercy.

---

“The Parks weren’t amused by your behavior. You didn’t come down to say goodbye even, that was not proper.”

Sunggyu was leaning back in his chair, his legs crossed and his fingers touching. It was a sign that he was displeased and Myungsoo didn’t blame him. He had received angry phone calls from his mother, scolding him for the same reason. It was obvious Jiyeon wasn’t pleased either – after all, he had been the host for the night but he had sent off his guests without proper greetings. He understood why everyone was unhappy with him but he couldn’t help it that night. He had been too drunk, on wine and his own thoughts, to have cared about etiquette.

Damn Lee Sungjong, every time I think about him…every time…

“I’m worried about you, Myungsoo. You can’t let him do this to you.”

“I know. I’m fine Sunggyu, you don’t have to worry about me. So the Taiwan fashion week, what are we doing?” he changed the subject quickly because he couldn’t have Sunggyu telling him that he wasn’t strong enough to handle Sungjong.

In fact, he didn’t have time ponder about his personal issues anymore, with two fashion weeks lined up in the next six months. He realized that the only way he could drown out disturbing thoughts was by investing every second to work. There was a time before when he had done just the same and it had helped him to move on with his life.

“Yes about that,” the executive editor said, uncrossing his legs and looking more relaxed. “Apparently, Royal got a ticket to the show as well. It’s probably the result of the new management.”

“New management?”

Royal was their biggest competition in the fashion magazine world but they had never been able to quite catch up with Star since their slip five years ago.

“Apparently a Chinese multinational bought the company,” Sunggyu informed. “They’ve stepped up their game ever since. They approached Jiyeon with an offer.”

He was surprised by the news – Jiyeon hadn’t told him anything along that lines, but then again, he hadn’t really spoken to her recently. So Royal was targeting their top models in order to get into the game; it seemed like they were really trying to catch up this time.

“Jiyeon refused of course,” Sunggyu said before he could ask the question. “But we have to watch out for them. Are we going to use any of the fall collection for the fashion week?”

“We can but-” he was interrupted by Woohyun’s voice through the intercom, announcing that his 11.30 appointment had arrived. “We’ll talk about this later,” he told Sunggyu, who stood up to take his leave.

The door opened and as Sunggyu walked out, his friend, Yonghwa strutted in. Jung Yonghwa was the CEO of a PR company and even though they had first met for business, they became friends. It was unusual for Myungsoo to make friends with the people he met for business but Yonghwa was an exception. He felt that they had many similarities and Yonghwa had a good understanding of his character.

“Long time huh?” Yonghwa said pleasantly, hugging his friend. As they took seats opposite to each other, passing pleasantries between them, Myungsoo felt his body relax. Yonghwa had a calming effect on him and it was unfortunate that they had not been able to see each other in quite a while due to their busy schedules. Maybe he needed to go golfing with Yonghwa to settle his feelings and start afresh.

“Congratulations, I can’t tell you how surprised and happy I was to hear the news. Why the sudden decision?” Yonghwa asked in a silvery voice, smiling sincerely at his friend. He had texted him right after the press release, congratulating him. But he could tell that Yonghwa was genuinely surprised by the decision to get engaged – everyone who knew him were.

“I just…I’m not getting any younger.” Myungsoo shrugged, hoping his friend didn’t question him too much. He would feel weird about lying to him. “Tea or coffee?”

When Yonghwa said tea, Myungsoo picked up the telephone, ordering two teas. They spoke about their lives and everyday things, Myungsoo enjoying the light hearted conversation. His friend was a great mood-maker and he had him laughing in no time. They had a lot to catch up on.

“We should go golfing one day soon, once you’re married, who knows, you might become a stranger,” Yonghwa teased.

He was about to reply when there was a knock and the door opened. Sungjong backed into the room, carrying a tray with the teas he had ordered. Stepping cautiously, as if he was walking on hot coals, Sungjong approached the table, setting the tray down with utmost care. Myungsoo tried to turn his attention to his friend, who, for some reason was staring at Sungjong. The assistant PA met Yonghwa’s eyes as he set down his tea cup in front of him but there was no reaction from him while recognition was prominent in the other man’s eyes.

When Sungjong had left the room, Yonghwa turned to Myungsoo.

“Is that Lee Sungjong? Your new PA?”

“He’s the assistant PA,” Myungsoo corrected. “But how do you know him?”

A strange smile curled up his friend’s lips.

“Went to the same uni as him. He was quite famous, rumours about him everywhere. He also dated my best friend.”

Myungsoo gulped. Between the middle schooler Sungjong and the adult version, he did not know anything about him. It sounded strange to him, hearing about the young adult Sungjong in University, to know that he had dated and the relationship hadn’t lasted. But what sort of rumors was Yonghwa talking about?

“I’m not the one to usually say this but since he’s your PA and all, you should go for it – he’s good.” Yonghwa’s eyebrows wiggled suggestively, making the editor confused.

“Good at what?”

His friend’s smile broadened. Smacking his lips, he replied, “Good in bed.”

Myungsoo felt as if a bucket of icy water had been splashed across his face. He looked into his friend’s eyes.

Yonghwa shrugged as if it was no big deal.

“It’s not a surprise really, with all the experience he got. He went around a lot, if you know what I mean, a lot.”

“You…”

“Just once,” Yonghwa held up his hands defensively. “And after he broke up with my friend. I’m not a best friend’s boyfriend stealer. But damn, it was worth it.”

Picking up his tea cup, he took a sip. He was having trouble stringing two thoughts together. He had never expected Yonghwa to…but Yonghwa hadn’t known about Myungsoo and Sungjong. And even if he had…

His thoughts were distorted and he felt slightly dizzy, the view blurring in front of his eyes. He had a faint scorching sensation on his tongue from the hot tea but his reflexes were dimmed. In fact, he couldn’t think about anything, whether consciously or subconsciously.

“But you can’t I guess, not when you’re engaged and all.” Yonghwa laughed, not noticing the change in his friend. “I wonder how he ended up working as a PA, it doesn’t really suit him.”

Yonghwa’s words didn’t register in his mind, not quite. He heard what he was saying but he couldn’t react or reply to them. This was the first time his friend had unsettled him without realizing it.

“I wonder if he’s going to take me up again-I’m still single -”

“Yonghwa,” Myungsoo said suddenly, cutting across his friend. Yonghwa raised his eyebrows, observing the change in his friend’s expression for the first time. He had been grasped by a sudden urgency to know … to know who Sungjong really was.

“Tell me everything about Lee Sungjong.”

A/N: Okay so I forgot to add, by regular updates I mean that I'll be updating this story every other Tuesday, so that's once every two weeks.