The chief editor’s office was unreasonably chilly, Sungjong thought. Or maybe it was just him. He had no idea why he had been called by Myungsoo, but he could make a very good guess if he had to. Too much had passed between them to just ignore everything, like they had never interacted. But the problem was, he didn’t know how to answer any question the elder might have for him. He had acted inappropriately and it would only be fair if the chief editor fired him here and now.

But guess what, I’m already resigning. I’ll be out of your way.

However, if the night had proved anything, it was that he still wasn’t over Myungsoo, far from it. He had tried his best but had failed miserably. Now it would be best to remove himself from Myungsoo’s vicinity; in that way, he could work on getting over the man.

Besides, if the chief editor accused him of making a scene that night, he would fight back. He wasn’t the only one who had made a scene – he hadn’t asked to be saved from Minho. It was Myungsoo who had chosen to protect him, so the blame rested on him as well. He was not going to take all of the responsibility.

It’s time I stand up to him. He has too much power, too much of my heart.

Maybe if their parting was excessively bitter, his mind would lock away all memories of him in or order to protect himself. That way, he would never have to think about Myungsoo again.

The man was typing away on his computer, not bothering to look at Sungjong. He had made his presence known, but there was no response. He wondered if the man was actually rehearsing what to say.

What more hurtful things can he say to break my heart?

Finally, the chief editor looked up, accosting him with a scorching glare. His heart shrunk immediately. Even though he had agreed that his disapproval didn’t mean anything anymore to him, he couldn’t help but feel his legs wobble.

“What do you think you are doing?” the elder asked coolly, his eyes piercing.

Sungjong had no idea what he meant by that so he stood very still, his eyes downcast.

“Are you stupid? Don’t you know anything about Minho?” Myungsoo continued, his voice turning gruff.

So this is about Minho hyung?

He didn’t want Minho to be dragged into this – it was a fight between the two of them and he didn’t want the executive editor to be wrongly accused, despite his actions at the party. He had made a mistake, and it had cost him Sungjong’s trust; however, that didn’t mean he wanted to blame him. He had spent too much time blaming others for his misfortune. But he didn’t know what to say to make Myungsoo stop, so he remained quiet.

The chief editor’s chair scraped the floor, as he got up from his seat. With heavy steps, he approached the younger, making Sungjong shiver. As long as the desk was between them, he had no problem, but now that Myungsoo was standing right in front of him, with no physical barrier separating them, he felt fear.

“Haven’t you heard people talk about him?” Myungsoo growled, causing his stomach to shrivel up. “He’s a playboy you idiot! He’ll never love you. You’ll just be a toy to him, and he’ll throw you away once he’s done with you!”

The man was yelling at the top of his voice now; his face red from exertion, while Sungjong trembled, trying to keep his head clear. He had never seen Myungsoo so angry, not even when he had messed up the files and ruined a golden chance for the magazine. It scared him to see Myungsoo like this but it also angered him. He had no right to tell him he was an idiot, no right to intervene in his personal life.

Mustering all his courage, he spoke up, his voice sounding hilariously small in the large room, “I – I’m not going to apologise for what I feel. I-I said what I said to you about how I feel about you and I’m not going to change it to suit you or anyone else. And-and I’ll do whatever I can to get over it, but don’t bring Minho hyung into this.”

This would be the last time they met anyway so Sungjong didn’t mind letting out the pent up frustrations. He had had enough of the elder. After they had met, not once had he been able to talk to him while his senses were intact. Even the confession he had made was when he had been drunk. So now, he would like to straighten some things out – he wanted the elder to know that his feelings were genuine but that didn’t mean he would try and snatch his attention, put a break in his relationship. He wanted him to know that he hadn’t been with Minho just to get his attention or make him jealous.

“Stop seeing Minho,” was Myungsoo’s only response.

“I can make decisions for myself,” Sungjong replied coldly. He would not have the elder treat him like a child who didn’t know what was good for him. Why would it matter to him anyway if he was dating Minho or not.

His answer only seemed to infuriate Myungsoo more. Myungsoo didn’t care about him anymore – he was pretty clear about that; then what was the reason for this sudden surge in protective feelings?

“Lee Sungjong, someone should tell you your decisions are crappy! Like when you decided to throw me away.” His words burned a hole in his heart and he gasped loudly. Wasn’t this is the first time he had vocalized his feelings on getting rejected? “Open your eyes and see what you’re doing. Minho is not right for you, he will destroy you -”

“As if you care!” Sungjong shouted, unable to keep his voice under control anymore. He had had enough and for a moment he wanted to forget that Myungsoo was his boss and talk to him openly, man to man. “I do whatever you tell me to during work but why would you interfere in my personal life when you clearly can’t be bothered about me so-”

“Don’t.”

Sungjong came to an abrupt halt. Myungsoo had spoken the word very quietly but it wasn’t his voice that had gotten Sungjong to become silent; it was the way he said it, with finality. His head was bent and from where Sungjong was standing, his eyes had been reduced to shadows only. There was a change in his physique, almost as if his whole body had stiffened.

“Don’t,” he repeated quietly.

“I don’t -”

“Don’t you for a moment think I don’t care!” Myungsoo’s voice was loud enough to match his, but it was a lot more powerful, like the rumbling of an ocean. Every word he spoke scratched the surface of his heart. “Don’t you dare say I’m not bothered. I have always cared, and it’s always been you. I tried to talk myself out of it, I tried to fool myself, distract myself – but they are all lies.”

Sungjong was rooted to the spot and at a loss for words. He couldn’t believe his ears; surely he had to be dreaming. Because the Myungsoo in front of him was not his boss, nor the chief editor of Star Magazine, not Jiyeon’s fiancé - he was the Myungsoo he had known from nine years ago. And yet they were standing at Myungsoo’s office and the man that was facing him was not his 21-year old self, no matter how much he sounded like him.

“I got over you, got over love. Only to fall headfirst into you, again,” Myungsoo said, finally raising his head so that he could see his eyes. They were filled with tears and sincerity and the kind of warmth Sungjong had only seen in the 21-year old Myungsoo. He had almost forgotten that the man standing in front of him had eyes that expressed a lot more than the words he spoke. Every second, his eyes spoke more than his voice – those gorgeous, charcoal orbs…

“I was so angry for letting you hurt me like that and I told myself I’d never be a fool in love again. But who was I kidding – I just fell in love with you again.”

Myungsoo started to walk towards Sungjong, who couldn’t move even if he wanted to. When he was inches away from the younger, he extended his arm and cupped his cheek. Sungjong shivered at the touch, their fast real contact in quite some time and under these circumstances. There was something in that touch that made him lean into it naturally.

When Myungsoo spoke again, his voice was a little more than a whisper but Sungjong had no trouble catching onto every word. He let the words sink into his flesh.

“Every second of every day, it has been you, always you, constantly you. Every time I thought you were out of the frame, you reappeared in the mirror, like my shadow. I care, Sungjong, I care because I love you; always have.”

The bulging tide of emotions, in all colors imaginable, engulfed him, crawling up his neck and into his mouth. It felt surreal, like he was sleep walking, although he wasn’t familiar with that sensation. More than anything, he felt anticipation riding up his spine, like he knew it was imminent…

The air felt damp around him all of a sudden. Myungsoo had said what he had always wanted to hear but for some reason, it felt like the confession was incomplete. Myungsoo’s hand on his cheek burned white hot as he tried to keep his sweaty palms in check. The thrill at Myungsoo’s voice uttering the words he had been desperate to hear had sent his temperature shooting – he could almost feel the redness spread across his cheeks. If there was one thing that would make everything complete …but surely, he couldn’t be hoping that Myungsoo would…

Exhaling shakily, the man leaned closer to him, taking a step to close the distance between them. Sungjong felt the space between them diminishing bit by bit, until he felt his body against Myungsoo’s, his face inches away from his. Myungsoo took a hold of his upper arms, staring intensely into his teary eyes. 

Sungjong was trembling all over as he noticed the elder’s face getting closer. Instinctively, he tilted his head, closing his eyes. Myungsoo’s lips met his, firing an explosion in his gut. And all of a sudden, everything in his life was complete.

Sungjong had expected it to be strong and passionate, given how the elder must be feeling right now but instead, Myungsoo took it slow. He gently on his upper lip, which was sandwiched between his lips. Gradually, he deepened the kiss, sliding his tongue along his lips tentatively, trying to part them. He could smell Myungsoo’s cologne, a bit stale in the afternoon. Cracking an eye open, he looked at the man he was intertwined with, a flurry of disbelief still attacking his stomach now and then. Myungsoo had his eyes shut tightly, with soft creases between his eyebrows, conveying desperation. He seemed to be enjoying this sensation as much as Sungjong was.

Myungsoo’s arm crept around his waist, the other landing on the back of his head, pushing his face closer to his. Sungjong’s own arms felt heavy by his sides, heavy and paralysed by the rapidly evaporating disbelief. Even if this was a dream, he would cherish it. So he lifted his arms to wrap them around Myungsoo’s neck – now the two of them were fully entangled.

Thundering heart beats sounded in his ears as his heart rattled in a frenzy against the ribs. The sounds got increasingly louder, and he wasn’t sure anymore if they were his or Myungsoo’s – maybe it was the sound of both of their heart beats combined, just as the heat emanating from their bodies encircling them.

He had kissed too many times to count, but never had he felt this intimate to the person he was kissing for the very first time. Just thinking about the different sensations every part of his body was feeling could make his mind explode.

Even though he was holding to the elder strongly, his entire body was shaking. Tracing his lips with his tongue, Myungsoo boldly slipped his wet tongue in farther, drawing a gasp from the younger. Sungjong was not new to this, but he was new to this passionate thrill that threatened to paralyse him. It drove him crazy and all he could do was invite Myungsoo’s tongue into his mouth.

How could they kiss so long without breaking off for oxygen? The moment he had that thought, he felt an intense need for air. Half-heartedly, he tilted his head backward, forgetting that Myungsoo’s hand was there, holding his head in place. His lungs burned with the need for oxygen and luckily, the elder must have felt the same as he broke off the kiss, turning his head sideways to gasp in air.

Bent over, his hands on his knees, he wheezed deeply, inhaling air.

When he finally looked up to meet Myungsoo’s eyes, he knew right away that all the pain he had been through was worthwhile.

---

Myungsoo thought he’d known everything about Lee Sungjong but he had ignored the most important thing – Sungjong was in love with him. Instead of happiness, he had chosen revenge. How could he think that the satisfaction from getting revenge was in anyway greater than happiness with Sungjong?

He had been so in love with the idea of being in love that he hadn’t cared about Sungjong. Being in love had meant everything, so that Sungjong as a person became nothing to him. He had been too busy thinking about the injustice he had suffered to realize that the world was giving him a break from it all – he was finally being offered what he had always wanted. Instead of pulling Sungjong into his arms, he had pushed him away farther, knowing that the younger was the only balm that could soothe his heart.

Here was Sungjong finally, expressing his love for him. Wasn’t this what he had always wanted?

Confessing to the younger how he really felt about him was more impactful than he had expected it to be – it was like a transformation. He hadn’t realized that it wasn’t only Sungjong he had been keeping his feelings from, but it was himself as well. Now that he had admitted what he had always known, he felt liberated and he felt in control of himself. His mind was surprisingly clear, even though his heart was thumping loudly in his chest.

And Sungjong … he could sell the world for the look in Sungjong’s eyes right now. They were wide open and there was so much in there, so much emotion, so much hope and gratefulness and disbelief – it was like those deep brown orbs were a painting and he could spend all day analyzing it, every shade, every . Finally, his eyes were open to Sungjong’s pain and suffering and he could tell that there were no lies between them, only painful truth.

It has to hurt for it to be real.

After all the pain they had both been through, it was safe to say that whatever they had between them was real. Sungjong was real, his love was real, just like Myungsoo’s want for him was real.

So much of Sungjong’s bare, unaffected self in front of him was a beautiful sight and this is he wanted to wake up to in the morning. This was what he had always, always wanted. Even when he had stopped thinking about Sungjong, he had wanted this.

He had imagined kissing Sungjong, wondering how it would feel like, but none of it had prepared him for the reality. There was no word in any language to express how it was – all he knew was that it was like a miracle. If he hadn’t felt the urge to breathe, his lips would still be glued to the younger’s.

Sungjong smiled at him, brighter than the sun, positioning his arms around his neck again. He had the time to whisper, “I love you,” before the younger linked their lips together again. Warmth flooded into his veins as he felt his soft, warm, wet lips frantically trying to connect with his. His heart fluttered as the scent of honey and lemon tickled his nose again, a scent very distinctively Sungjong. It was his personal heaven – their bodies pressed together, tongues darting, eyes shut tightly in pure bliss.

They would have probably gone at it for hours, who knew, but the unwelcome sound of Woohyun’s voice floated through the intercom, reminding Myungsoo that he had an important meeting to attend in thirty minutes.

“You should be leaving now, Sir.”

Sungjong backed away immediately, his eyes apologetic, his cheeks red. He must have seemed so shamelessly needy. Cursing inwardly, he wondered how he could leave now and expect to finish all the things unsaid at a later time. His hesitance had probably prompted Sungjong to move first, mumbling something about he should leave. He took a step backward from him, breaking the eye contact and looking down, fidgeting with his fingers.

“The meeting is followed by dinner so I will get off late tonight,” Myungsoo said, almost whispered, causing Sungjong to look up. “Shall we talk tomorrow?”

“T-talk?” the younger stammered, looking embarrassed. Maybe he knew as well as Myungsoo did that the ‘conversation’ would involve a lot of kissing or maybe not – he was having trouble thinking straight right now. But it didn’t matter; as long as they communicated, it would be fine, and talking was not the only form of communication. Right now, their eyes probably gave away everything. Like he could see how reluctant Sungjong was to part.

I waited eight years for this, I can last a bit longer.

“O-okay,” Sungjong replied shyly, making his way towards the exit, but stopped midway. Scratching the back of his neck, he turned around, wearing an embarrassed look.

“This belongs to you,” he mumbled, fishing something out of his pocket and offering it to him. Frowning, Myungsoo took it only to find that it was his locket, the one he kept at the bottom drawer of his bedside table. It was only thing from the past that he had held on to. It had been there with him throughout the years, like a lucky charm, like a prayer bead.

“How did you-”

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking straight. I didn’t mean to snoop, I found it by chance and …” With that, he turned his back firmly on him, taking small steps towards the door.

Myungsoo wanted to stop him and hold him close to him but unfortunately the situation wasn’t favorable. He had no time and if they stayed at the office, there would be countless interruptions. Woohyun would wonder what Sungjong was doing in here for so long. So for now, he had to let him go. The idea filled him with a strange fear, even though he knew they would meet again tomorrow and hopefully sort everything out between them. But what if Sungjong changed his mind tomorrow? What if he didn’t love him tomorrow?

These unreasonable fears riddled his mind as he watched the younger walk away from him.

“Bye,” Sungjong said at the door, looking over his shoulder. And that look held all the assurances Myungsoo needed to hold on for the night. He was certain that those eyes wouldn’t change.

A/N: I'm not sure if this is supposed to be happy or sad.